Evening Star Newspaper, January 29, 1881, Page 7

| “iN (APRS Of natural coon fur are fash. New tete att silver so and sancers. Cumgtcat-Looxrsa cotars tn Dand are wora by ladies PaRis bo oth 3 hive china cups standiog | } of piuan, ac- | loves av» worn as full dress | sptfons and at the opera. re Tiwari y wiove9 BANDS, SUM, and, ag It were, Paralszid th their kid casings, are no longer considered at. : lopger than either linen or erefore & Very economical ma- Jorgarments. i ced espectalis for the house are rsage elcher heart-sbaped or oft lace 1s worn, pwaey mllliner has mirrors placed ta | window, so that ladies who pause to bonnets may also crit Scran site las! ott 5p. is3 thetr | that warming pans and | ind decorated fire-places would | S for the little silk and lace } Beatbeo Caark SEATS are really fashionable ‘They ere mac from nice pteces of stlk or w0!en, Bewed together like mats, and bordered with velvet. THE ranxis of folding doors are frequently adorned with paintings, arrange 180 a3 0 fir montze with tue wallpaper, thyiga ditering | from tt. PRARL NRCKLACES arain At reanaat fo ac- Company the very Nght colors of the dimist Dasques at presenti atza favor for evening dresses. Taw Ci xs on old Dlankats are wed ag de. | signs for embroidery on door curtilns. Tae | stitches are taken In the games way as inoszon | the blankets, and the volors are very carefully selected StMotge Pas3 may bo ght and atry, but win- ter fans shouid be cheerful and br for even In a heated ballroom one eaunot forget that the snow lies white on the ground. Holly-red sa°in emb Ollered with crysial-Dead felcies ts pretty, for instance. Argons (Clara Ble writes from New York) ¢f all Kinds of ilae stull are a fancy of the pass- img moment. The most fashtouable are Greek and Roman style, being re nothtag bit a Straight, sctrflike piece of etlk, satin, velvet, Jaca, Sarah, or any other rich and handsome | Materia), hollowed ont at the wats®, Itaed to dt | the person, and embroldered or trummad at the lower with Dands or beaded embroidery @nd frings, or lace. Fancy cords and tassels attach the: Orons to the wals! and fasten the ends, former by the hollowing 02 for the waist, over the nure In the back. For afternooa tea-parties as well as for evenings at home, girls wear aprons formed entirely of flowers, Sewed flat on tarlatan or tulle foundation. They also make fanciful aprons of silk mull, Dorder- ed with lacy frills. Oa some of taesa, it the wearers b-btrothed appear tn eimbrofdery or flowers the monograms of their aitianced hus- bands. Taesir mammas, meantim-, wear lon: Romas or Greclan aprons of black or evlore satio, decorated in the tanner alraady de sertbed or with gold brald and gold lace. These aprons are generally made at home, and on them are bestowel a great dea! of the prevall- Ing era7+ for art needlewor! me women thus Wear In thetr ips the herd lavor ot 4 resuite that are sometimes beat ‘Umes hideous. THE FasHi0ON IN MOURNING Dagss.—Henrl- O'ta cloth and Imperial serge are the staple fabrics for tue iirst dresses worn as deep moura- Ose (f Unes¢ matertals is chosen, n0 mat- on of the year tt ts to be worn, and it has tbe advantage of being gnitadle ror ~ Of raing. according fo the trim al and some- ; the chicr of these was perpetrated SO THERN’S SAUCE, A Comedian on the Stage and a ‘arceur Iu Private. ODP PRACTICAL PRANKS. Sothern at Home—Professor Can- A. Bighio’s Experiment and Exposure. (New York H ra!?.} Mr. Sothern was at his best about midnigat, | on his return from the theatre. Surrounded byasmall party of congental friends at the Supper table his wit and gayety were such that | be seemed to be continuing tn private life the diollertes he had been presenting on the stage throughout the preceding three hours, Fea | theatre goers, perhaps,suspect to how groat an extent The fun of Dundreary was extemo- | Faneous each evening. It has been well said | | Ubat there was one character who was even more amusing than Lord Dundreary, aud that Was Mr. Sothern. As a farceur he had few comperrs on ettner eide the ocean. The bh toned tatocy of the stage character was of eo reproduced in private lite, but wit this dlfer. | ence—that Instantly after the utterance of | some ineffable Iudicrousness in speech, with lack-lusire eye aud smileless visage, Mr. Soth- ein joined heartly in the laughter ot the group. This Impulse was so stroug in the | Msn that It was simply wonderful how he pro- served bis gravity on thestage. and he himself confessed that In Dundreary be often bit his lips till the Dlood came to keep from laughing with the audience. | HI3 PRACTICAT. JOKES, That his pecullar temperament shou'd have ied him {to numerous practical jokes was Lo be expected. Many queer storles are told of him that had no foundation tn fact, but there were eroluch based on truth to satisiy che most exacting lover of the farcical. Perhaps one of iu this city when the “sacred spire” of as selected as the scene of bis 00d people of New York in gen- street In particular were his His inserted a card In the pa- @ issued @ circular al3o to the following, seme years ago, Trinity church wi caper and the eral end. Wait ebosen victims, pers an effect. A CARD, Professor Cantell A. Bigiie, of the scteutttic School of Wisconsin University, has tho hoor to inform the public that be will give an exht bition of bis completed | apparatus for navi gating the air on Wednesday «afternoon, the ‘9th tust., at three o'clock precisely, tn the vi- cinity of Trinity church. The Professor pro- poses to fly from heuse to house «cross Broad- way at angles, then from Trinity to Bowling Green and return, aud will ascend as high as the summit of Trinity steeple, and hover a fw hours in that victnity. An opportunity will ba g.ven after the exhibition to examine the ap. Puratus. The people are respectfuily invited. Such, tn orief, was the batt offered and it Was greedily swallowed. At halft-past twelve | On the day in question a ttle knotof people had gathered close to the churchyard ralllags; #7 one o'clock the pavement was in a measure obstructed. At two the tide overilowed tnto the street, and by three p.m., the advertised hour of exhibition ths whole b-eadth of Broad. | Way WaS occupied by a densely packed and struggilng mass of humanity, while tn addition ; to the rush of the main artery boib Wail aod Pine streets contributed steady coatlugents to the already swollen crowd. As the ch Clock cianged forth the hour apxtous eyes were turned upward, but as yet the professor “gave pe Sign;” the quarter next sounded and otill the old steeple bore every aspect of belng untenanted, while among the keener Spirits fn Une crowd a horrible suspicion com- tuenced to dawn that the whole thing wasa ‘he suspicion speedily becam3 a cer- ty. aud with wild yelis ths “sold” rashed | Junto the churchyard and endeavored to force thelr way toto the steeple. 15 wag a quecr sight. Respectable famliy men, Wall stret brokers and quiet Ind!vidwils, wad would not for the life of them have beea mixed up tn a “mob riot,” were unwililngly carried tuto tas eburebyard, In spite of their frantic gasticula- ous, m ny of them hatless. The hubnuy coa- Unued for some time, but, Ike all things, SE Coloss § ; | ended, atter which Sothern aad two coafeders eek Oe ag oth 3 Haely Ustiled. | ates crept quietly from behind the Lawrence oiae ee ets tron as tare jolband demurely walked up towa. Sotnern SeSced ATO TIMERS TIOMeO ts endeavored to persuade the publie thic ae WeSeS 3 ns Stn | Knew nothing of ft, aud sent the following With refer-nce to the desigas card to the Herald. B ischions “wns were. ta | GRamency Pak Hores, ed heve Deen superseded by | Ze (+ Editor of the Herald: a es. aud the cus. Will yon kindly state that | am not respon- Is to wear the st ay mx nating for a shorter period than was formerly dove, especially tn large families, and | Dy these wio put on Diack for even the mo-t | distant relatives. ‘The simply shaped corsage, | Yery high at the throat, with closely tit: ve, is imperative, and the fuli ronad skirts Without overskiris Dut with hanging sisty frovt drap ry, and revers are very appropriat for mouruing atthe. Lat erspe former y scen on at the black crape collars and 2 double ruids of | Gress sktrts, and | 3ottue walst, 3 ds ven plac? | gle layer of crape, cut always et giving the appearance of \ beeanse this “makes th: | tiealar; the beavy | & (a0 shops, Deis | se who will no’ | wi ro ’ a many this Diack trimming for the neck fs | alt after the Waite Usse i} a clock or 5 vary | {all tndeed, and with harrrowest picstine at the foot. Iu fiout are two ands of crape set on narrow gores of the Wool goods snd lapped at ihe waist In front, pen obliquely toward the foo’, y disappear under crape plettinzs. ape doubled over sik is the m: for deep mourntag boonats ia d Without the trerlintas of silk | . Taese foliow tne smail shape veils for colored bonnets, and have iarge folds across the top for their only trimn:tng. The broad, smooth crown Fometies has narrow folds in the lower edze, but 4 sift curtain Dand is more used; the of lustreless gros xrain’ rio- Sometimes there ig no trimmtag of | folds plicel on the bonnet whea arst made, as It is concealed by the veil: but the lovg crape veil 1s only worn a short | time over the face, and 1s afterward to rall back from’ the top a face vi tl of Brassels net 15 then rape bard ts p nets except those for widows, who wear the nar- Tow ruche or puff of white crimped tarlacan. ‘The tong s vet] has a hem half a yard deep in one Gud. reaches nearly to the foot of the has a narrow hem or the u s fastened on the bon: der Droocaes that are cov T 8 ts edad with black pearl, or dull | lunge size, elther ronad, oval, or in | pear shapes. i Umes put across the entire froat of While otvers have merely one side covered by the featty Widows’ | Jadies large f atan, an {noe a of black net. | The are two putfs of ovte atan. vs wear tne | Fanchon--nape hout a crown,and with OF withou! strings of tarlatan tuat lle under- | Qeath the back hair. For very iight mourning | there are tu:net-over pleated collars of white mull, edged with wide footiny, also pleated, and wora with a wide mull bow vel at tne throat. ‘There are also square neekerchtets of mui with a thai itched, aud | with cks hemstltched 1a eaah cor- ner. Ci are of very faely folded | White musiin or lisse, edged with footlag Large collars of doubled white organdy are | Made square across the Dack, and end ina slight point at the throat; some of these have | the plea'ed footing on the edge, while others | Bave mer-iy a hem stitched on’ by machine. andy and of Diack Brasseis un et tor dressy monrning.—Hirper Pers Varieties of C variefles of the cat are very numerous; | Wiselticr entirely black (Diack and walte); | Diack, fulveus asd white (called tortotse-shell | ©r Spanish cat); entirely white; faivous and site; dim color or tawny, either plain or Striped: tabby, Doldly slate-colored or | dlue-g: eux cat); with very | and tall (ube | ‘¥ whiteness and valled the Angora cat), and lastly | or tatted ears, like a lynx, | mes, though rarely, takes place. | Varte‘les, the Perstan, tne | AbAOra, Ant gray Maita varfety are the ‘most | Temarkavic “Loe iste of Man produces the | tallies ¢ a very curious vartet When | sed with an ordinary tatled cat exbtb'ts whe futermediate stages and no t From long local usage the Word “tabby” is applied tuarscrive. | luz tely to aimost all vartetics of cats after they hav sed Out Of kittenhood.—Troy A Wirweeko and aged African, who an: Yeurced him-elf as “Jude ‘Teomas, of Can. ady.” en'e ed an OMize near Che ferry dock and sald he Was “ung money to help the south- erm hegroe- em grate to Libertas. Want tu go." assed (he man at the sah, I reckon O43 adout five Uhousand do You tnrend to start them?” “Alrly in the spripg. san.” “How much have you collected thus tar: in de nayburhood Of sixty cents, as nigh #5 I kin reekoa,” ‘4nd tf I should give }04 a nickel, that would be sixty-ve cents?” “Yes, san.” “Would sixty-five cents be of em coward sending five thousand col- Cred propie to Liberia?” “Well, sab, tt woulda’t £O Axreat Ways when you come right down to aksbul expenses, but 1 reckon that it would start s powerful thinkin’ tf it was only handled” WU" — Deicont Pree Press, impie uuu-lik= dres3 of | sibie for the tying hi @ | ¥ery_ uneasily, and whispered to his friend, | even to be suspected by these oax at Triutty ebureca on Wednesday last. “Belleving with Washiogtou that it {s wrong to teil a story, I wiil siuioly State that Florence did it. You &., E. A. SUTHERN. ‘This led fo a serias of farcteal tactdents aad to a general certainty of Sothern’s connection with the hoax. TRE LER HOAX One of the m raordinary bits ot “ploas- autry” he ever concetved had a most nat iral origin. Mr. A. M. Palmer, of the Union square Theatre, Mr: Sothern and Mr. Lee, the hus bane of Adclaide Neilson, were inching In Brown's restaurant when Mr. Lee faci Ly commenting on the American habtt of carrying @ pistol, aired his kuowledge of waar an Eag- Usb swetl would do ff a rutilan assaulted hin — raise bis hand quietly and knock him down. Florence chaneed to enter the room and pres eauly Din Bryant and Nelse Seymour braced eachother at the bar. Sothern whispers i to Florenve and almost immediately wh it sem 2d alearful row began. Iu yala Palmer sousut to pacify Fiorence. In vain Les en teayorsd persuad: thera to quiet. Kveryooiyia tae Place became involved. Seymoar latd hotd of Brown's carving knife and threatened mard-r. scream sd All hands ei, shoated and Tae place was Bedlam and poor Lo as his shirt, sought the protect Presently peace was restore ants shook hands Wine} was ordered and Sothern tnvited one and all to dine with him oa the following Sunday. They did. Mr. Sotuern presided, the guest of the ning, Mr. Lee, sitting at the right, Nelse Seymour at | ue foot of the table, and Dan Bryant al the left. The guests were ali in eveniag dress. The dinner vas A sumptuous one, and weil rved; the wines were of rich and rare vin- was tgade when Mr. Gaytor took from wader hiscoat a paper battle-axe—the broad biade Delpy ered with tinfoti—such as ts usad to kill tyrants on the stage. Watle the soup was being served Mr. Nett Bryant drew from be- heath the back collar of his coat a dirk knife, the Dlade of which was over a foot long, whict he solemnly tiaciasy and placed beside his took a six shooter » and tald it down sly on the table. Mr. Lee looked around jn a bewildered way. Nelse Seymour drew a scythe trom under the table and then a po- Meemau's club, and latd them {in the middle of the board. At this Mr. Lee began to mi : ont Coat-tall po Mr. Sorhern:— “ Oki fellow, what does this mean?” “ Keep quiet,” repited Sothera, ‘it 13 as 1 have feared. These gentlemen have been drinking and they huve quarreled abou! a friend of theirs, a Mr. Weyrnyss Jobson, quite au eminent scholar, and @ very estimable gen- Hrroan; bat F hope, for our sakes, that they WHI not attempt to’ settle thelr quarrel here. if is Creadfal, but I hope, dear boy, that they will Go away quietly and have no row. It isa fasbiou they have here to settle thelr dis p1.e3 at a table Or wherever they m: All we can do now fs fo awalt events.” But there will be murder here. Can we not notity the police of their intentions? Impossible, my dear fellev Sothern, in a atstressiag whisper. a ow you en of attempt- ing to leave tue room you wouid be shot like a Cog, aud LO Sallsfaction would ever be given i ‘sin @ court of justice.” By this » was thoroughly aroused, and to lastiog even the first course, an inferual country!” he sald, to a Fora few moments the lar Dan “What Whisper. quet business went on, when suddenly a row arose at the lower end of the table. and Me. Net Brya elaltaed: the Frei it, springloy to nis feet, flercely ex- Whoever says that the ‘History of ch Revolution’ writtea by my friend, | David Weymyss Jobson, 1s not a3 gooda boox in every Tespect as that written by Tom Car- | Jyle on the same subject, is a lar, a thief, and i there ts any fool present who dsstres to take Pau ae pes man’” All the guests rose sai- denly and every one grasped his weapon, Connor roared. he seized hls pist are another, Bryant, and by my_ hallo will prove it oa your treacherous body.’ shots were fired andt smoke and uproar. Severai of the guests clinched and struggled, and Nelse Symour, while struggling across’ the table thrist nls foot into the elgat quart Soup tureen, made a wild plunge, but Was Knocked down, and then found it impossible * réiease his foot from the vessel. Mr. Lee ran to the door, but the coa- spirators had locked tt: Billy Floreace turust along kaife into Lee's hands aud cricd out, “Defend yourself! This is butchery--sicer butchery!” Sotherm kept saying continually to hit, “Keep cool and don’t get shot! Tais isawful—e. thousand pirdons—lam a stranger tuthe couutry, and had no expecistion of meeting these demons at a dinner given to my fitena:” The hotel in the meantime hid been | alarmed, and the guests and walters outside Were making frant deavors to break opan the doors, fearing Unat murder would be done. THOSE FRARKEUL AMERICANS. John T. Kaymoud tells a good story of a | Seare he aud Sothern got up whea th Paris ying Dundreary. Mr. Ray Celebrated bill poster of Pa Willing by name, made some rema: Then room was flled with ris and Londos, was in the greenroom and rkS aa coming from Sothern concerning ine, which I purposely constructed intoa most grievous insult. Dashing impet- uously toto Sothern’s dressing room, which Was just off the greenroom, 1 demanded tn a | distress, amon, | was the oniy response. Swearing vengeance. Everypody appealed to me to be qnict and tried to ime bacx, whtio Lcontended that notatag bat bid ttte's' Dio rd would wipe out the insula Oe eurie the olay had to continue, but tne actors were almost ; afraid togo on the stage, lookfog on ms a4 a Wild American who, wich bowtie kaif in hand, Was about to commit a horrible marter Meanwhile Sothera had quleuy seat a nove | telling me (0 slip tnto his dressing rou agato. get some stage biood there, louk (ae door, and | that as soon as he came off we would nave a “ume.” J followed (he tastructions an after ths act he came down and joined ne. Tae psogia tn the green room were on the alert, and bat wasn | Ned and wiyself we gave their listening ears the beneft of a full chorus of moans, groans. imprecattons, struggiey and other sou ads of i Which every now and toen my ife could be heard sticking into some con- Honily Bott substance that sounded ve-y Uke a buman body. Willlag, whosa remarks bad beew the cause of all thls commoilon, Irightened almost to death, rusned after th? gendarmes. When the later came they de- Mnanded entrance in French. A low groan Belleving that ons or voth of us was nearly dead they burst open Une door. Witling was the first nian torasi in, und was followed by tue soldiers and auch 0: Une company as were not on the stage. Y¥. can imagine their feellags when tiey saw Southern and myself covered with dlood lying upon the floor, with the gory knife near by, | the entire apartment to coofaston and oeacing | evidences of a desperate struggle. * “Poor fellow,’ sald one, ass ne got a pulse” ‘He must be dying’; was the remark of another, Go for soine stretchers.’ ‘What awfal dghters these Americans arei’ ‘Don’t touch the Dla le: Cae ae Similar expressions were also to be ) near “ Wilitog, with a horror-strieken fac», stoo3ed | over and felt of Sothera. Ned partially ratsed his head and feebly whispered, ‘A lass of | champagne—quick.’ The poor dillposter diin't Stop for a class, but knocked off tae ueck of a | bottle, and io his haste, to the great disgust ot | Dundreary, nearly choked him to death'as he + oured it down. At this instant 1 my ead in the same way aod faintly calisd Some | wine, too.’ Then we both rose up oa our 6)- | bows and asked for more wine, and thea to our | feet, until Mnally, with a hoariy laugh at the , ‘Success OF Our joke, we invited tuo whole party to join us In a potation.” j A TRICK SHOWRR BATH. In St. James street Sothern nad very ele- Santly furnished apartments, wich he wa3 tond of leading to such of bis friends a3 wished tospend a nigat to towa, An acute observer, however noticed that no friend from tho country ever occupied thoss rooms twice, and a very respectable ghost story was ‘ones worked up On this foundation The secret finally leaked out that no sooaer did the guest | streteb himself on Sothern’s luxurious couch, than his welgat on the bed started a smi edition of tn? deluge and hundreds of tiny streams of lavender water poured down from the celling on the unhappy individual, drench- | Ing him to the skin. A PUT UP J0B, The former manager of the S!. James Thea'or, London, recatis an odd adventure with Sot: ern, as follows: * Walking down Regent ‘street with me one day, he sald: “You go abead a couple of Dlocks, Fiske, and go back, but we will doth take the Atlas omnibus.’ I followed his instruc. lions, aud enterlag the omnibus found Sotaera siting In the diagonally opposite corner. { uaturaily looked at him with some curtostty to know why he had sent me two blocks ahead. Percetving this, he assumed a very ferce and Delligerent expression, aud exciatmed: ‘Are you staring at me, sir?’ The omnibus was led witn several elderly ladies, Lwo qitet gentlemen who looked like clergymen, aud a farmer trom tLe country. | took the’ cue at once, and replied, ‘No; tf I wanted to stare at anybody I would stare at a Deiter looktag man. than yourself." At thts Sothera’s tndignation apparently became uncontrollable, and it _re- quired all of the force of the clergymen, sec. ouded by the farmer, to keep him’ to Bt3 seat and prevent bim from throwing htmself upon me. Finally be insisted upon stopping tne ‘bus,’ and iavited me to step ontside and eitacr apologize then and there for the tagiit or Nghe bim on the spot. { pretended to preter to «> | the lattes: but said T would remato in the om- nibus, Whereupon Sothera took off hig over- coat and Landed it to the nearest old imatd to hold while he chastised me for my imperti- hence. In the course of the desultory remarks in which we indulged during the mevey, he marked that he would aliow nobody exeap his friend John Robinson, of Philadelphia, to speak to him tn that way and live, whereupon I hamediately tnformed him that my name> was Robinson, guraamed John, and that Thal | Just arrived from America, but that I hain's | the pleasure of bls acqua!ntance nor did I particularly desire if. In an instant Sothern’s manner completely changed, and, cllmblag over the old maids, the clergymen and ti farmer to my corner of the stage, he endeav- ored to embrace me like a long lost friend, He avowed that he had never been more d~ lighted tf hts life, stopped the omntbus and proposed that we should get out togetuer, which we thereupon proceeded to do.” SOTHREN AND PLORENCE. one of Sothern’s close | ozether they had many a merry | lark. Coneeruing them Fiorence said: “Sth j ero once trserted an advertisemoat tn te | New York ferald, the substauce of whic! was that I wanted ten dogs—two each—Ne#- foundland, black and tau, spl tier 4 pordle, and that the dog men should app! ey en o'clock a } | { i 1Y al | ta the morning until turee In tae | tnoon, for Luree days at my resideace. “The next morning by elgt o'clock the | streetin front of my house was crowded witu inen and dogs fighting their way around the front stoop. Aroused oy the tnfernal noise I | got oul ormy bed, went to the window, and | as I drew back the curtaln and exposed my head and shoulders, every fellow tn that mot ley crowd held up his dog and yelled, ‘H+re he 1s, Mr. florence; this is the oue you want,” i don't know what else tbey sald, tor the how ling and barking of the dos and the laughter of the crowd drowned allother sounds. I was | at a loss to account for this strange sight. Mrs. Florence came to the window, Look in the Scene, and with that nice perception of tatugs which never deserts the sex inan omergency, sald: ‘Why, I see what this is; it cannot ba any: thing but one of Ned Sothern’s jokes, my dear,’ and with that she exclaimed, ‘Look, look, it’s he! There 13 Sothern himseit!’ “I had retreated a short distance from the window, but when Mrs. F., sald that the great Joker was present in person I went forward, and sure enough there he was, looking at a beautiful Skye verrier, which he afterward pur- chased. He turned to my window, and, with that characteristic way lhe has of adjustiag his eyexiass, he put It on and looked stratght | at me as if he had never seen me, and then in- | necenuy asked a boy. who was holding ao | ugly cur, ‘Wno lives In that house? What | queer person 13 that who is Soay! his fist at us?? ‘Why, Florenee, the actor, Tivea there, | and he advertised for dogs, and’ that’s what's | the matter,’ answered the urchin. i “Going into Be dog busines3, I suppo3e?" said Sothern. ‘Yes,’ sald the boy, ‘I reckon he ta—he is always doing something for us fel- lows.’ Dundreary joxged along among the crowd, and he sald afterward it was one of bis most successtul joi UNDER THE TABLS. Senseless as the following may appear at first its humor cannot be questioned. Oa an | occasion Sothern was entertatoing at dianer eight orten gentlemen, In the midst of the mbeal Mr. Engitsb, Sothern’s friend and agent, Was alucttnced. ' ‘Now, boys,” sald Sothern, “all of you get under the table—every man of you—and don’t stic untll [give the word. This Js the best joke On English that you ever saw.” | Sulitng the acuion to the word, down went the | guests and in came Mr. Buglish. silting by (he side of Mr, Sothern he proceeded to diseuss | the business that had brought nim to the house, apparently without taking any nouce ; of (he Vacant chairs or the Mtter oa the table. Mr. Sothern on his part said nuthlag about nis other guests unl one by one tue gentlemen under the table, Wearled with their forced re- Urement and wacomfortable position, and un- abie to see where the joke came In, crawls up, and to the astonishment ot Mr. Sovhern’s | last guest, resumed their places. As each one appeared Mr. Sothern gave him a sly wiak— one of those famous Dundreary winks younave seen on the stage—as much us to say: ‘Keep quiet, old fellow,” until the whole party wero reseated and the dinner proceeded a3 usual. bown to this hour not one or those gentlemen has ever succeeded In getting Mr. Sothern to | explain where the joke was on English, Anecdotes of this nature concerning the fa- | vorite commedian abound, and books fuii could | te collated which would repay the reading. In “Birds of a Feather” Sothern himseli re- | counts scores of yarns that abundantly iilus- | trates the underlying comedy of bis nature, and tn dramatic circles, for years to come, his jokes will be hashed as his memory will ba honored. Why She Couldn’t Climb. \ The other day John F. Wallack, the genial superintendent of the Western Union Telegraph | In Unis district, related to a fellow passenger, as | they passed through Lewisville, Henry county, 4 bit of experience connected with that station worth recording. It occurred during one of the | Dight storms so frequent last summer. The | violence of the wind had detached the trunk | quadrupiex wire, used for New York business, | and Ube testing tustrument located the break at | the first pole west of Lewisville. Mr. Wallact called up the operator there, aud ordered that the break be fixed. i. Pos go oul Lo-night; storm 1s too bad,” was the reply. stor or no storm, the thing has to be fixed." xed. “Well, I've got no ladder.” { | { } | loud tone that could be heard by every instant satisfaction or his lite, whispering 16 | Ned to Keep up the joke, Always as quick se | lightning to take a hint, he presently emerged, | Kicking me out of bis apartment int tne | Centre of the now thorougnly alarmed peopte | #9 the greenroom. L rushed, of to get a knife “Go out and climb the pole.” ‘This somewhat teatily. < “J can’t climb the pole.” Ets “What's the reason youcan't?” Manager's rapes going fast. “Pm a woman.” i, ‘Mr. Wallack had forgotten, in the preas of business, that Lewisville had a female 0; stor, but when reminded of ft he gave up the job and je ‘tw boys to attend to (t."—Indiaavetis eros, | same to my executors, and tue survivors of ; lustitutions as they may ¢nsider most dese-v- | pounds a year” | mounted by a cupola, , hearly in the middle of the butiding. The inte- CURIOUS RESULT OF A WILL sult. ‘The Fortune an Application for an Na Secretary Secured to a Woman. (Boston Herald, Jan 16.7 ‘iz Powers, spinster, by her will, which waa drawn by a lawyer and duly probated and allowed without objection, gave some % spo- ciric legacies, as follows, viz: To relatives, and frends she made dequsts to tbe amouat of $54,000, and made the foliowing provistons for public charities: American Unitarian Associa- ton, $52.00; Young Men's Christlan Uutoa, $5590, Grantville Unitarian Sistety, $3.000: Channing Rome, $5 000; Boston Female Orphan Asylum. $5000; Boston asyium ana Farm School for Indigent Boys, $%.c0e: Boston Mi rine Society, $5.000; Chlidrén’s Mission for tne Liesitcute, $5,000; $0 :taty for tha Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, $5,000; Boston Dispensary, $2,000; Roxbury Dispensary, $2,009; Masgacha- setts Charitable Eye and Sar loftrimiry, 0; Massachusetts General Huspital, $3000: ren’s Hospital. $1,000. Then followed this rest. duary clause, ‘to wit: “After the payment 0° the foregoing legacies and all expenses and charges 1a the settlement of my estate, suould there be any surplus I give and bey ieath the them or thelr succcssors, 1f any such shonld be appoloted '0 admilu:ster on my estate, 10 D3 by them distributed to such persons, soclettes, cr ing.” Chartes Allen and Isaac 8. Urutis were pamed ex cutors in a suosequen: clause, and acted ag such. Taey proc eded up settle the estate and paid each and a 1 of tne sald-sp + leguoles, and there remaining an, as 1 talned, r- amount of $65 300 In money, as te residue, and which came under tha sald: rest duary c! , they formed a schémy for lis dis Uibution, and presented toe sams to tue & bate Court for its sanction thereos, tribution was to be as follows, viz: Societies and Instivutions,—Soel r reir of Aged and Destitute Uattarian Clerysmen $5,000; Massachusetts General Hospital, for sup Port of three beds, $5,000; Boston Cit, ilo:- pital. fund for surgical appurtenances for crip tes, $4,000: Howard Beaevolent Society, $1009; ton Lying in Hospital, $3,000; Satiors’ Sauz Harbor of Boston, $5,007 Childveu's Hospital (additional.) $2,000; Convalescent Homa, in eca hection with Children’s Hospital, $2,000; Sea- shore House, $1,200; Temporary Home for the Destitute, $1,100; Temporary Home for Work- fog Women, $1,000; Uattarian Sunday-achool Soctety, $1,000; Boston Art Museum, $5,000, Prospect Hill School for Young Ladies, at Greenfietd, Mass.. $10,000. Total, $46,300, iy Mats dis Individuals.—Mr, F. Smith, $5,009; Mr. Arthur D. 4 Mr. David Mack. $1,000; Mr. W. Smith, $1,000; Mr. C.K. Dillaway, $500; Mr. W. B. Frost, $900; Mr. Charles Miliquist, $500; Mrs. Kilzabeth | Miil- quist, $500; Mrs. Harriet C. Bacon, $1,000; Mrs. Aun R. Merrill. $1,000; Mrs. S. ‘A.’ Clement, $000; Mrs. Lois W. Perkins, $3.000; Miss. Lydia deffords, $2,000, (additional;) Miss’ Hannab H. Harmon, $500; Miss Caroline Seaver, Harriet Taber, $ ‘Taber, $500; total, $22,000, making a grand total of $63,300. In thls status of things, one of the heirs, having desired and tried in vain to get an old secretary, which was esteemed of value prin- clpally ‘from its antiquity andas an “heir loom" tn the family, applied to counsel, the Hon. A. A. Ranney, to see whether one of the executors had a right to retain tt and keep tt himself, instead of seliing 11 so she could have achance to buy it. Tats led to the counsei calling for and examining the will; and, asa result, he advised the next of kin, Sarah Nichols, that the satd residuary clause’was tn- valid, and the law would give ber the whole of the residue. Thereupon proceatiags were tn- stituted {n court so asto have the question settled. A bili in equity was filed 30 as to ratse the tssue, and a demurrer waa filed pre- senting the question of law involved. It was reserved by a single judge, and argued about two years stace before the waole Court. The reseript, which has recently been sent down, reads as follows, viz: “The terms of the resi- duary bequest. clearly mantfest an intention that tt shall be taken to trust, but the trust {5 not sufticlently defined to bs carrted {nto effect, and a trust, therefore, resnits by im- plication of law to the next of kin of the testa- The result {3 that all of the satd specitic le- gacies which have been pafd are not disturbs, but said scheme, devised for the distrioution of the said resjdue 1s deteated, and the next of kla gets the whole $63,300, with subsequent accumulations and ioterest, the whole bslag DOW abolt $50.00. itis@ singular fact thar, but for 5 feeling which ‘grew out of a question a8 to who should have an old accre- which was worth perhaps $25, no couasel would have beea consulted, and the executors would have distributed the sald residue a3 pro- posed above unchallenged, Mrs. Sarat Nicho.s Was given and paid also $10,000 a3 one of the \ individual legatees, under the sald specitic be- quests so that she or her estate (ahe having died durlug the pending of the sul') gets al the residuary sum in addition to the said $16,000, Should a Baby be Fat? {Sclentific American } While there is a measure of truth in the assertion that fat ables are not necessarily healthy, the folowing much quoted extract from a physician's letter to a Woston paper is ukely to do mischief by Its extravagant cou- demnbation of fat. Speaking of ratty degenera- Uon the physician says: * Most infants do become thus diseased be- fore Ubey are three months old. This stops the growth and leaves the poor decetved parects | hothing but inerease in welgut to boast of; aid win the poor little viettm to his own gre-d and his parents’ folly gets to the end of nls tether he melts away like butter tna hot oven, | and then it ts seen how poor (in flesh) he hag been alithe time, Few comprehend the bro id difference between flesh aud fat. The first 1s Jean meat—muscle—the result of growth; wh le fat—1 don’t care how hard and solfd 1t may ba— is the product or accumulation of unexcretial excess, This s why uo one bets a dollar on a , Sat borse or a fat man—they are ‘soft’ and ‘can’t stay.’ [tis every wiitastrue of a fat baby. ‘The only wonder is that any infant lives days from birth. Fed before birth but three times a day, he ts after birth subjected to 10 or 20 meals in the 24 hours. Before birth he grows at the rate Of about 10 pounds per year, after birth he ts permitted to fat at the rate of '50 pounds per year until chronic dyspepsia or some acute disease taterferes, Feel of akittea, calf,colt, or a young robin—they are and remain willie growing but little more than skln and bones and fur or feathers, because unable to get enough to fatten them, and they never ale— rarely have any sort of disease. Cnlidren are never fairly ‘out of the woods’ until they reach the lean age and have plpe-stem lezs and ar.ns, with no rolls of fatty tissue anywhere about them. Could they be kept so from birth and not permitied to over-indulge, so that their appetites would always be reitavle for plain food, they would have no infantile diseases 10 enrich our pockets.” Why should the kitten, the colt, or the young , robin be taken a3 a model of infantile health, Tather than the puppy, the bear cub, the plg, or the young pigeon? ft 1s the nature of soma animals to be lean and healthy; of others to be fat and healthy; and there is a3 marked adiffer- ence in the natura} tendency of young children. Infants of the same parentage and fed at the same breast will differ in this respect,—and both be healthy. Fat laid on at the rate of “50 is quite another matter, an one not Hable, we take it, to be a common cause of anxiety. Injudictous feeding ts more apt to show itself in Jack of fat, and lack of roper muscular Ussue as well. ‘That sort of leapness 18 much too common in young nu- manity. The Cr ation italy. ‘This temple, bullt in the Greco-Dorle styie, 13 surrounded by columns and pilasters, and sur- forming a chimney through which the products of combustion, escape. The furnace fs in the basement and ple at Milan, rior of the buflding 1s divided into four large halls, tn the first of which the mourners a3- semble before the body is brought Loto the urn or cremation chamber; adjolning this hall there is a room in which the bodl+s 1o thetr comias are awaiting cremation. The bext apartment {3 a large storage room for coal and wood. and beyond this are the furnaces. In an adjotn- ing hall the “Cremation Soctety of Milan” bas Its office, and transacts all {ts bust ness. Here {8 a curios collection of anuque and modern vase3, documents relating to cremation, models of furnances, Kc. ‘The cr mating furnace 1s arranged transversely in the temple to permit of watvhing the entire operation through a small window in the side wail of tLe temple, The body Is placed upon a rate, under which a basin Is placed to recetye he liquids and ashes that may drop down. Two furnaces are now before the public, kugwa as the Gorini and Venini furnaces, after we in- ventors. In Gortui’a furnace the ftlimes and Products of combustion pas3 over the body, thence down a flue and under the base upoa Which the body rests, thence up the chimuey. ‘The body, thus completely enveloped ta the flames, is converted to ashes la from one and a alt to two hours. Wood or coal may be used, and the expense is about one dollar. Mr. Ve- nint’s apparatus ls more complicated than that of Mr. Gorin!, but tt transforms the tissues of the Dody into gases tn a more perfect maoner than any other furnace.—Seiendine Amerson, Grass Eves, a3 now made, Consist of two distinct saeltis, the exterior and tae toterior, or Uning. which is fitted to the eve stump. The end of a hollow tube of crystal is heated and blown into a bail, which is colored to imitate the white of the eye with eaamels Lied while the glass 1s still in a vitreous paste. ‘The imita- Ditficuttios of a Witness. “You must get around pretty early (a the morntog, my dear,” sata Mr. Spoopendyke, "be Cause I'm going to be a witness in cour.” “Good gractous!” ejaculated Mra. Spoolen- ayke, “what have you been doing?” “What d'ye spose I've Deen doing? J'va heard some things In 8 law ease, and I've got togwear tothem. Von cant nave & law case withu: Witnesses, and I've got to De one to-morrow; 39 You Dustie ont Im jue morning and get my breaktas “They can't 49 anything to you, can chsy7" inquired Mra. Spoopendy se, nervousiy. “ITT ain't there in tinre they can send me to responded Mr. Spoopendyke, ominoasiy, | “and you'd Detter get me ready in time tt you | don't want to lose me.” and Mr. Spoopendyke flopped into bed and went to sleep, Mrs. Spcopendyke turned the clock ahead two hours, arranged her hair, and sat dowa speculate on the chances of Waking up at Froper moment. At first she conciuded to stay Up all night, Dut she begau to get sivepy, aad retecttpy that if she fixed her miud on the hour she wanted to rise she'd be sure to wake up, Sho went to bed and to sleep simultaneously. | ibver. | He stayed drap Clap. “1 war’ cleanin’ off de sidewalk de od ovserved the old man, as th meeting opened somebody to knock him down. fie ain't tly Know what to say to begia a fires, ba he flually mae out to cemark dat if be war Mayor Of dt3 etty he'd run all de ntzgers into de Ifelt tt my duty to bring de snow. novel down 07 top hts head, an’ be dripoed for about’ five minutes, an when be got up a@ pursued bis way Bs OpinyUns scemed (@ have undergone a great change. [spake of dis Pekase [want edery Wort bin’ by am Gat wateh uses men jial as cey use you. Try to i) by any oder rule an you wil, be cueated, swindied, abused an Tobted ebery week Ia de y’ar, De man w tnipks he bas sufictent ovecashun tok’ }0n Wil feel Acontempt fur you if you doar Kick Dack. De man who robs you expects to Be Geait with asa robber. Deal wid him as an angel an” he would aneer at you. No maa has 4 Tight Co expect betier treat dan he am Wiilin’ to desic “few doe Tit iot us At half-past four she rousod up with a terri- fled start. “Wake up, my dear!” she exclaimed to her | husband. *"You've got to go a witnessing In | case thts morning. Hurry up, or they! put you tn jail.” “Wal!” rejoined Mr. Spoopendyke. “Wha> did the deed get mixed sere wita—proor— au and Mr. Spoopendyke was sound asteep ain, “You must get right up and go to court,” sald Mrs. Spoopendyke, firmly. “You kaow something about a law court and you must, wake up Tignt off.” “What's Une inattert™ proponnded Mr. Sp992- | end ke, aki og up ana glariag around him. ~W nal day of the month 13 tuts? — Who cated Spoopendyke? { ain't slept a wink,” avd Mr. Syoopé okyke fell back on hts pillow, ‘ou know you must go tothe case,” con- | ued Mra. Spoopendyke. “You've been ap. nled a Withess, aud you must go and swear | out It. Wake up. or they will ares: you | “Whal case?” demanded Mr. Spoo eid: | “Who's arrested? Can't you let a man alone Just aa he is getting fm adovze? What's tue inatter with you, anyway ? “You Wanted to getup early about some | court. Come, get up, now, or they’ll send you Lo jail,” aud Mrs Spoopendyke got up and eS the gas and began dropping on her “Who's going to court?” asked Mr. Spoopen dyke, sittlag up in bed. ~Wuere 13 the court? Think any court wants me at 5 o'clock la the gree eas “It's about a law case,” said Mrs. Spooven- dyke, cheerfully. a ‘ al fmly linpressed tinal nature of a foreign mission, gaved aimiringiy upon ber husband. “Dod gast the law case!” howled Mr. Spoop- endyke, now thoroughiy mad. *D'ye think a | Jaw Case goes prowilng around all night lke a policemau? Got an idea that a jndge is going house on his ‘back and fetch It up } to strap the court “But you sald you wanted lo get up early, ceasoned Mrs. Spoopendyke, “and it's pretty early now. pose I wanted to get up at midnight “Dy Lo practice?” propounded Mr. Spoopendyke. e a Church sociable, the “Think a law Case 13 Itk first man there gets the best supper? P’rhaps you were afraid if I didn't ‘start early | wou dnl get a seat. The measly court don’t Meet W110 o'clock, dod gast it! and here you wake me up at foi: Vhat d'ye s'pose a wit hess 13, auybow?” sbouted Mr. Spoopandyke, Ing madder and madder. “ Think he's a durk lantern, and goes around with hls sitde turned and the smoke coining out of the top? Dye know what a court ts?” “Why, yes,” said Mrs, Spoopendyke, “a ues Where they hang people, Mrs. Metr- of——" “That's it! You struck tt, firat clip!” sput- tered Mr. Spoopendyke. “With that informa- lion, all you want 1s a plug hat and an adjourn- ment to bea lawyer. If l had your {ntelligen 28 and a bald bead I'd hire out tor a judgeat ir wages, Itell ye, a court {3 where they try eases about lands, and Ieking peopie, and cou- tracts, and—and—and divorce cases, Yes, in- deed,” continued Mr. Spsopendyke, solemnly, “they try divorce cases about womea wakiog their husbands up tn the dead of night, “What kind of a law case are you golng to witness?” inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke. “A daylight case! You understand that? At ten o'clock, and not five. Got that through your head? ‘Think you can remember ten o'clock? If you can’t, can you remember eleven or noon: “Do Uney bave cases every hour?” querted Mrs. Spoopend: “Of Course they do. ‘hey leave every fifteen minutes, like a ferryboat, and if I can’t catch one case, I'll Witness !n another. Got it now? Only they don’t rua as often from midulght to SIX. Begin to see into 117” “I think Ido,” said Mrs. Spoopendyke, rum!- nating. “I was thinking that if one starced abeut Unree o'clock, ld go and witness with you. ht you'd make a witness!” proclaimed Mr. Spoopendske. With your capacity tor obser- vation and abillty to recollect, youd only want to appear twice to adsorb the whole witness business,” and with this retlection, Mr. Spoop- endyke Went back to his slumbers. Al ten o'clock sharp his wife called him aud notified him of the hour. * * How'm I going to get there in timer Why didn't you call me before? Want me sent 0 state prison for contempt? Want to get rid of me, don’t yor and Mr. Spoopendyxe darted into his clothes, “ Dont you want some breakfast, my dear?” inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke, tenderly. “No I don’t want any measly breakfast! he shouted. “Didn't I tell ye was a witness at ten, and now its half past? ‘Think aman 1s ap- botnted a witness during good behavior? S*pose 1 hold the cfice till_my successor is appotated? and Mr. Spoopendyke piunged down svairs and out of the house. “J only did what he told me to,” sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke, wetting a piece of court plaster abd patching up a hole in her silk dreas. “Though I don’t see any use of a man being a witness, if he can’t be a witness when he wants to. If I were aman.” sbe continued, as she flopped down on the floor to change her boots, “I'd get appointed by the President, and then [ could attend to business or not, as I liked.” With which sage reflection Mrs. Spoopendyke pu oul her husband's socks ani an to Sew wens three inches in dlameter on the heels, oklyn Bagie. ' Nothing .o Wear. Strange and perplexing contrasts of opinion abound in the views expressed by eminent British historians with respect to the intellect- ual attributes and psychical characterisuics of Good Queen Bess. By one she ts described as a political gentus of extraordinary ability, reso- iuUlon and courage; by another a3 a mere shal- low brained, capricious aad timid woman, at once stubborn and passionate, avaricious and revengeful. But all the chroniclers of Eitza- beth's life and times are agreed that she was uuLcommonly vain o: Ler personal attractions, and the recently published statistics of her Waidrobe, gathered from the state pees bya well-known antiquarian, certainly afforded con- firmation strong to the assumption that love of ficely was a leading tralt of her majesty’s char- acter, In the year 1603, when she had attained \he ripe age or Gs, her stock of wearing apparet rised 99 complete oficial costuines, 102 ench gcwns,” 100 robes with trains, and 67 Without, 126 “antique dresses,” 136 “bodies,” 125 tuntes, 96 mantles, 55 Pelgnolrs, iS mantil- las, 13 aprons, 27 fans aud» pairs of slippers. At her death, two years later, no fewer than 3,00 articles of apparel were found in her sev eral wardrobes and duly catalogued. Taking Uhese amazing ‘gures into consideration, we can weli belleve that the “Virgin Queen” was the most expensively, if not the most becom- lugly, dressed woman of ber day.—London Te?- 1giph, A Hint on Street leanings A Londoner of an tnventive tara of mind Sends the following suggestion to the London Neovs: “This morning a large statfof men has been employed tn ciearing the roads aud pave- irents, lu most cases making matters worse. It occurred to me that 2 simple machine would obviate much useless labor, and enable the work to be far more efficiently performed would suggest tbat a row of burners, usiag some Cheap mineral ofl, should be titted to a wide, shailow hand-cart, a Concave reflector concen! raticg the heat rays aud Curowing them downward. This, as it passed over the ‘suow, would melt ff, and, as iUshouid be followed by | fedaer. Low Furceed wid de riguiar program.” The Rey. Pensiock bere secured the floor and sald that be bad become somewhat interested tn the cave of a man named Claudius Handy, a resident of bis neighborhood. The man waa wife-Deater and adrupkard, but thought he might be tempted to reform if admitted to th > club, Toe speaker would, therefore, propose us name for m mbersht ‘There was a long minnie ofstience, and as 20 gre supported the proposition, Brother Gard- Der said. der Penstock, the tdeah dat you would D’ of dat man does creditro yer na an’ yet I honestly betleve dat de would-be ers am de wust tnemies soctety has to bery man am bis own imaster, Ds difference between right an’ wrong am too P! un to be skipped. IUam easter to De a sober, .centiran din to be adrunkard an’ a loafer. Wen you fla’ a man who had rather 09 d+ la (er dun de former he am some poor coo! not Worth wastin" time ober. De people who oug ut be tncouraged am dé honest, hard worki1 mn an’ not de lazy an’ dissipated. [f Claudius Handy wants to goto de dogs dat's his own Joo} out. If he hasn't got ‘nu’ manhood tn his Dataur’to be a decent member of society de sooner he kills hisselt of de better tur us a Dis club offers no premiums fur a man to be a man, Ror kin it be turned into an asylum fur de sup) Ortof people too lazy to airn deir own We wil now satrch fur our hais an’ go home.” How to Select a nn ‘The most important and most dificult part ot the establishment of a rural home ts the selec tion of a site. A home ought never to stand on the top of @ hill, although ft 1s spectally desir- able to secure a broad landscape view. In as cendipg a bill, go just far enough to make the hill a vantage ground; but leaving the bigher slopes above you, to cut of the winds ana storms. “This,” said a friend. “is superb. Why did not you set your house here?” We stood on 4 high potnt, overlooking the whole spread of a fine valiey, witn villages at our feet. I replied, “This isa tne place to visit, but not to live upon.” ‘The winds sweep If, and tt bas, like ail biitops, a sense of tsolation. If possible, just far enough up to retain the neighboriy feeling—a sensation of rest and peace. Tho hillside looking over the flat meadows, witt thelr cattle, not too far from other homes, with the protecting hill behing, gives wnat you above all require—peace. The next potnt to look out for ts the variety of outlook. The scenery should not present itself all at once, in a single grand stretch; but open in new variations as you move avout your homestead. Thisdepends somewhat upon judtctous plantings, but equally upon natural slopes and swaies, A vanegated landscape de- pends upon a variegated surface for your home lot. Too much stress cannot be laid on this point. The finest landscape in the world will grow dull witout variety. Other things being equal, the frst level or landing place on a hiliside 1s best, as it gives us control of the outlook. No one can build below us In such @ way as to Cut off the prospect. A large proportion of country houses are at the mercy of those who build later. A group of tees, or @ barn, or the houss itself is set direct- ly in Uhe line of vision of abit of ae woodiaad or Water. ‘To select a site that no ope can mar Js absolutely essential to your future comfort. To Wose who build on bilisides it may seem vnlr >ortant to urge the considera fon of heaith- fulness Ot location; but {t is by no means @& beifuous Suggestion. ‘Teere 18 more than usual Beed Of ooking out for the draty of ne.gh. bors’ barns and sewage that comes from abo’ you. I found a reservoir of water fed by draias Was thus poisoned by a neighbor's kitchen dratn- age, DOt lees than 1) rods away. The clay sub- Sul Was Tull of small streams that connected our ditches, itis equally important to avoid glen sides, where the quiet atmosphere often allawa the mlasma of the marshy spots to accumulate, Il health in the country, diphtheria oa hili- Sides, 15 orfep due to these unnoticed causes. It must also be borne ip mind that our clay ils are very retentive of motsture and need thor- ough drainage, In central New York ague is very Tare, but the only case I have koowa of for the past ten years occurred on a steep Bill Siue, from local Causes. For an outlook there {s vast preference for ‘the morning = if possible, secure a south east exp-sure, open to the full sunshine and shiltered from west and northwest winds. I can polut out @ village that is one week in advanc> in spring of a village lying ten miles to the north, and of another lying tea to the south. The advantage in autumn is not always equally great. [ have frequently a season six weeks longer than my peighbors one mile to the west above me abd below me the same dis- tance lu the valiey, This advantage i3 one of no small moment, especially when your whole giape crop, or even at times your corn, 1s dependent upon it. Two years ago I perfectly ripened Isab=llas, Dianas and Goethes, while even Concords were a failure a few’ miles away in all directions. To escape one frost is often the key to a successful year. The morn- ing — is also most delightful and conducive to healt A point of great Importance to Jovers of fine Scenery is the “landscape of the sky.” In ae. lecting a home we should place few things ahead of the possibility of enjoying the fae sunrises, Or, If not, sunsets; if ble, bath. ‘There ts no Ume to quicken the pulse and fed the soul lke early morning. The genuine lover of nature is ab early riser. He likes to be alone with the world. A northern exposure is not only to be avoided because of i's damoness and chilliness, but because it is nol a bright morn- ing outlook. A western exposure ls windy and Overhot of a summer afternoon; but {t may com. pensate with superb sunsets. Oa the whole, give us a southeast outlook and a morning cali from the Day King. ‘The soll 15 not tue least Important considera- Uoen in selecting your house lot. All other things being favorable, a cold, wet soll is a serious drawback. On a hilisida, yer! however, may generally obviate the diffi culty. For fruit a stout clay 1s preferable to sandy soll, as the trees, growing more slowly, do not crack. For pe and cherries especially a loose cl D soll. These are the simple first princtples of select- ing a country home. Most of the points tadica. ted can be in every case considered, although it is seldom that we can avoid all drawbacks or ‘secure every advantage. Tne vast majority of pretty Cottages or Cay farmhouses need- jessly lack advantages that by a little fore- Sight might have been secured.—#. 2. Powe?. tic Independent, An improbable Yarn. “Guilty or not guilty?” asked the Galveston Recorder. “Of course I'm not guilty.” “You went into this gentleman’s room at the dead hour of night with a false key?” “That's just so; but I am not to be Wamed for the fause of the key, am 1?” “Sol did; and Ididn’t wake him up, elther. My family doctor says iU’s dangerous to wake up a sleeping man.” “T sup) it i, particularly if he had a s!x- shocter handy. Youtook the sleeping man’s pants and stole noiselessly down stairs anc gave them to a confederate 2” “That's all so, except I didn’t steal down Stairs.” «You mean you stole up stairs.” * No: I didn’t steal at all” s ou are doipg some tall lying, now.” * And I didn’t turn the pants over to a von federate, elther, He was a Union man all gur- ing the war.” s *- You admit you took the pants? a brushing machine such as ts now used to clear the streets of mud, the slush would be cleared to the roadside. if necessary. this might, in turn, be followed by a saad distribu- ter. In a6me such manner I feel c nvine=d that the work of thirty mea might D2 done by three, ‘TRE cod weather of the past few days has been very rying on those who are comypelled by adverse circumstances. or thelr wixea to get up and make the fire. Yesterday morning a well known in front of the Neics office, bis coantegance besming with joy. He appeared to.be so hapay that a friend ‘sal@:—You must iave received some valuable present, drawn a Big prize in the lottery or just hada drink, you look so. con- foundedhy ni ” ‘The bay man roped bis pecs Geet on eon these feeds had appene: in, “Then. suppose, & 13 your Dylural good health and tins spletts fhat make you _overilow with good humor?” “Net much good health. The doctor says I hove heart dls- ease and am Hable to drop dead aay moment, ton fs exact. The workman mikes the eye clear, white. billous or bloodshot, in exast ac. cordance with the other, A round hoie ts then made tn the center to receive the globe ‘of the eye. In making this globe the tris ts first formed out of several amalgamated enamel, 1a the center tae pupll is xed in viack Spamel and finished with the deltoate tracey of the fae Hbres round in the natural eye. ‘The eyegiobs is then soldered tnto the exter! yr ane ae tao eye 13 Nnlsned. particularly tr l take exerci,” and the in- valid’ exéented a dozble- te on the side- | walk. “I wouid like to know the sccret of your high spirits.” “1d tellya, Last night some thtet eee ane a a etie os moncy i buy any tare, there 19 no getting for = in the morning «o make the fre. If the Shicves had only car¢ied of my stove, Ta an- BOUNCE @ jubiive. thunder I haven't had such & apr a pas Hace 1 Was a boy." Gaivesion Neu citizen of Galveston was standing | pan’ “ Certainly, Judge; but Mf the truth hae.i¢ be told, i'll just give KH to you. I went ard got those pants merely to shaw them to my friend, who Wanted to take a patiern of them Ce have a pair built just lixe them. I was going to take them back when 1 was interrupted by the po- lice. Do you sup} is 1 was ealing man 1 Woulds:’t be in official position: ‘The case was taken under advisement. Moody as a Wrestter. (Bradford Star.) | day.” | “when ‘long cum A man who war’ achtn’ for | tn Mongsn member of dis club to reaitzs dat de only rule | | | may become a stimulant. | | | | | i] i | | | | ment; the further you hive strayed from ni | previons to taking atook. Recent Law Suite. We noe some humorous phases tn ravens Cest ua which We MMst Not Tali to chroniwe vs. Darfee, €9 Mo., 469, the Case where the defendant sesied the fate of the Fiailums father oy strikiog bim over the ead With & notarial seal, §2 Soif-delense, Food, C.J., gives Uhts aude pertphrasts for “lack of Backbone,” namely, “& Piriavin and | Painful weakness in the dora regton.” hess Thust be dutian Augusta Ga. | creat the recent deciston in Be { Council of Augusta It was | Shere the city councl passed an ondtaauce for- Didding the runulng st lange of cattle in the Sireets. Dut sudseqtently susdeaded tts opera. ton indeninttely, on (he ground, ameng others, | that the growth of wees and ‘grasa was woo luxariant for comfort, health and good appear. Abee, Oho WhO Way Korea Dy & cow raRning ab jarge in the streets Would not hh action against the clty. tor would (ne prin- cty le Be altered Dy Ube fact that the owner pat A municipal taxon the cow. Of course this law Is good, Dut The reason for the suspension Of the ordinance ts dishearteniug.—A"Oany baw Jno wa ly tuck Aran, A dasti, A ciants iat, ed "ronn’ yor both, « One robe that's elome! A crash, And you and 6l9 are sprawiing on the way? A écink, Abi A fond Good pight, A ctoan when you look st your parse next diay! Penk The Poison Habit, But, under all circumstances, make a firm Stand against the poison habit. It ts Dest to vali things by thetr right names. The effect upon the animal economy of every stimaiant is strictly that of a m, and every potsoa There ig no banein the South American swamps, no viratent com Pound to the North American drag stores— chemistry knows no deadliest po!son—wnose gradual and persistent optruston on the human organism will not create an unnatural craving after a repetition of the letual dose, a morbid petency in every way analogous to the hankering of Ube toper after his favorite Uippie, Swallow a tablespoontul of laudanum or afew grains of arsenious acid every night. At first your physteal consctence protesis by every means in {fs power; nausea, gripes, gastric Spasms and nervous headache warn you again and again: the struggles of the digestive Organs sgainst the fell intruder convulaes your whole system. But you con- Ubue the dose, and Nature, true to ber highest law to preserve life at any price, finally sdapis herseif to ap abnormal condition—adapts your system to the Polson at whatever cost of health, strength and happiness. Your body becomes an opium ma- chine, an arsenic mill, a phystological engine moved by poison. apd performing its vital functions only under the spur of the unnataral sUimulus, But dy and by the jaded system falls 10 respond to the spur, yoursirength gives way, and, alarmed at the symptoms of rapid ait” quit, you resolve to remedy the evil by re. roving the cause. You try to renounce stimu- lation, and rely once more on the unatded strength of the ris rier. But that strength ts almotexhausted. The Ol] that shouid have fea the flame of life has been wasted ona health consuming fire. Kefore you can regain Strength and bappiuess your system must re- adap! {self to the normal condition, and the diMenlty of that rearrangement will be propor- Uoned (0 the degree Of Che present disarrange- ture the longer it will take you to retrace y steps.—From “Physical Kiucation.” by Felic L. Osrald, ™ Powular Science Monthy ECIAL ATTENTION 18 CALLED TO THE INDUCEMENTS SINGLETON & HOEKE, 801 MARKET SPAOK, ARE OFFERING IN CARPETS AND UPHOLS- TERY GOODB San Homwax aoups, 4 large assortment of Porosiain, Parlor and I4- brary LAMPS, DROP LIGHTS and DEOORATED SHADES, CABINET MIRRORS and BOONOBS, BRONZES, FANOY STUDENT LAMPS and DEO- ORATED SHADES. All of the above goods sold at Reduced Prices. E. F. BROOKS, declS oak 5th at., Corcoran Bulldiag LEWIS JOuNSON & CO., Bankers, WASHINGTON, D. C., DEALEES IN UNITED STATES BONDS, DIB8- TRICT and other INVESTMENT SEOURITUSS, DOMESTIC snd FOREIGN EXCHANG! LUMBER. AMAZINGLY LOW PRICE, FLOOKING (Dszasep)........-81.60 204 83.78 ENTERPRISE: Wa BAVE Lh OUK BMPLOE 42 ARCHITECT, RBLDE Te FURNISH ESTIMATES, FRKE OP CHARGE. WELLET & LIBERY, Lo foreman sam ePBaGUES be tay ag BETWRERL “No levity, sir. You found him-fast asleep?” | It ts amazing how knock-kneod some people rein their bearing—never get anything ex- actly rigt!. The other morniug, up at the re- vival meeting, while urging the ‘almost per- suacea” uno’ his hearers to come forward and join the Salvation army, Mr. Moody sald: “Let any SH doubting siuner among you come right up on the plavéorm here, aad [ wili wrestle with him,” In the fervency of hisinvocation Mr. not perceive a man citmd enoe and take off bis.coat with scientific caum- Mr. Homer Lane, the ness. The stranger was chompion collar-and-elbow wrestler of th¥Uni- ted States, and he had caught the great re- Vivalist a Catch can about Dipping him Sankey intefered piained, Sr. Lane Jolly &cd amiable Je were the great | Seunsi the original spine over in. L. MABEBT SQUARB. now ! COLUMBIA. POTTERY, CoO. Man GrcoTUREre oF STONE’ AND EARTHENWARE, 3ES Georgin avenue, Foot of 34 srest 46. A general aepcetment of Jars, Jr, Pitchers, Burne Becr Maser, Be. ts eavubntere and oh a. Tins wares wade-of the leat quality Tecra Cotta materia}, snd by ek ded worl RESTS" A. ufactared bec quatite, sonra RED £0 F CLAY. sabeta and OONSERTATONS WALE. ‘Liploma awarded at the late Exhi- ‘Horticutural Bocluty and st the Na- KEOCT! MES ELIXIR OF G&S, H and ackpow ieaced by the medi Mt, lanteor- | ston i Germany ana sure suthedy for all disordors ws OCTRDIGRSTION AND DYSPEPSIA. | eC OCAEWSME, Pharmac | _sepio 42% eth ot. 2. | ee best ot Oma’ Bkstes s specialty. Alse, a fine assortment { OUTLESY, suitable for Christmas Preqwuta, a \