Chicago Daily Tribune Newspaper, January 31, 1875, Page 11

THE CHICAGO DAILY TRIBUNE: SUNDAY JANUARY 31, 1875.—SIXTEEN PAGES. ai WOMAN. Tho Tousekeeping Question.-. Another Sketch from Real Life, The Manner in Which a Bravo Little Woman Created a Home, ADistizction Set Forth Between Honse- Keepers and Home-Keepers, Wild Flowers as a Symbol of Love and Beauty, Dr. Van de Walker's Argument on the Sexual Question. Mrs. Swisshelm Tackles the Doc- tor, and Smites the Philis- tine Hip and Thigh. fome Jocular Allusions to ‘the Dear Creatures,” THE HOUSEKEEPER QUESTION. Mo the Editor of The Chicago Tribune: “Witch Hazel” may not be able to oxtricate theanhappy pair she—in Tse Tarsuxe a few wweeka since—left “suspended between home: and hash-houses,” or their bills from the * iri satiablo maw” of the “landlady’s purse ; ” but we do betieve that, witha little vim, energy, | perseverance, and good sease, they will be able to do it for themselves. “What hes been dove can be;” ard there are hondreds—nay, thousands— of happy homes in this city, made such by the going-to-honsekeeping procesa. For the benefit of this couple, and others simi- Inrly situated, we add the following to the “real life” eketches already furnished you in favor of housekeeping : : During the fall of 1870, a young Iady from an Eastern city came to Chicago to visit a wealthy sister who lives on one of the avenues. She was the yonngest of a large family, who were all married and living in good atyle. Before her departere for home, she engaged herself to a Chicago clerk, whose only.iacome was a salary of $20 per week. Bofore spring she returned a bride. ‘The father of Mrs. B., as we will now call her, although he had been able to furnish bis children with an elegant home, and the best educational and social advantagea, could only give his daugh- ters, #8 they went from him, a good wardrobe. But the mother had given to theze girls some- thing more valuable than money,—a good house- hold training. She had taught them to cook well and economically; to plan and do their owa sewing ; and how to manage every department of a wcll-regulated home, with or without ser- vanta, She was herself descended from ao aristocratic English family, in which each knowledge was deomed indispeneable, and believed it as much her duty to instruct her daughters in the household arts as to feed and clothe them. Holding a high social position, which ehe still graces by her venerable presence * and euperior intelligence, she could not under- rate the accomplishments in female educatio: yet she Cid not think parlor and kitchen knowl- cdge-imeompatible, and has proven, through those whose destiny she has molded, that they ‘Bro not £0. Bat to our young folks sgain: Mr. and Mrs. B, of course, went to bourding. He thought they could not afford housekeoping; and, 28 they had a pleasant room, an agrecable landlady, and s good table, and that way of living was o novelty to her, she enjoyed it for awhilo, with- ont thinking much about it. Soon, however, ehbe began to realize that it took nearly all of her lausband’s wages each week to pay their board end wash bills, and that, when other neccesary expenses were met, he would not be able to lay by anything, and would bare nothing to show for any of the hard-ezrned money he had ex- peuded. ‘80 she set herself to figuring the cost of this, that, and the other thing,—she could sid 12 wo 25 correctly,—and hsad summed it up tty accurately, and Jaid ber plans before aching the subject of “houce-hantiug” to her husband. Naturally, he objected at first, then yielded to her wishes, The next day she began her scarch. Houses ‘rere not ss plenty, and rents were higher, then than now; and s0 it is not strange that days and ‘weoke passed bofore ehe found anything that would suit them and their means. At last she announced to Mr. B. that sho had founa 2 place, He went with hor to look at it, sodio! it wasa basoment! He was almost too indignant to enter, but finally followed her in. There were two (so-called) large rooms, two bed- rooms, a pantry, and sumuwer kitchen,—all for 815 per month. “But your sister znd our cther friends would never come here to see us,” be suggested. “If they would not, we can live without them,” replied the brave little woman. ‘We fo not look to tbem for food or clothing, nei- ther can we coneult them as to where we shall live. Besides, such a basement as this, all above groubd, dry and airy, is really the first floor, jast where all the peopie live in tho country towns endvillages. It is very different, indeed, from the basements iu the Eastern cities. Then, too, iv ie ona nice, quict street.” They rented the Lasement, and there the would-be housekeeper bzsied heart, brain, hands, and feet in devising ways and meansto secure the greatest amouut of comfort and to give the mout Pleasure with the least outlay. ‘They remained at the boarding-honse s week or two longer.—the young wife going out daily to Jook at various articles for furnishing, butalways coneniting ber husband before purchasing, until, one evening, he handed her aroll of bills, say- ing, “Thatis all Lhave, only use your best judgment in solecting ; you can make money go further than I can.” She said no more t2 him on the subject ; but, afew mornings afte, with her ** good-by,” re- quested him to coms to their own home for sup- Per. When he came, and found his brown-oyed bird awaiting him in such a lovely nest, he thought fie must have gone into debt, or she could not have foruished the rooms so beautifally. But eho assured him ebe had paid for everything, and her portemonanie was not empty yet. Each ¥eok the husbands earnings went into the wife's Parse, afree-will offering. He, being a thor- Oaghiv-temperate man, ad not using a ‘‘meer- sctaum,” had litle need for anything he could ™t find in bis hemo, and never asked whet she hd vith it, althcagh he knew she kept a carefal bcok-account of everything. . dhey had kex house five months, Mrs, B. act- ing as nietressand maid (except that a woman game ineach week to do the washing and the harcest ci th:cleaning), when the great fire of “loccuirea, Al through that terrible Monday, the faithful cerk worked to save some of the choicest of aia employer's goods,—never think- ing, until he returned to his dear home anddear- er wife, that the scanty income whick bad, with her excellent management, supplied "0 many blessings, was now cut off. Then, when chs quietly slipped into his hand the fame atrount of money he had given her to fur- Dich with, saying she liad saved it in weekly in- Stailmente, he felt, more than over before, the treasire ho had in such s wife. (1 should havo staied before that the table was alvays well fupplied, and the winter's coal had been zocured. Shen etits lowest price in the summer; and tht everything was attended to by ‘‘littie ‘ife"—the husband going anay early in the Morning, and not returning until7or 8 o'clock in the evening). One of the firm who employed 3fr. B. being in ‘Crope, it wasseveral weeks before they could ‘gain commence business. But ho was finally Yeemployed, and the money xo carefally saved Ppuoted them over their first peril. After a littie. Mr. B. wus promoted to a posi- ion which gave him $5 a week more; and in is Lars, having learned that their rent was to Taized when the lease expired, the far-seeing housewife began looking elsewhere, and secured it Saite of second-story rooms for ist of May, 0 monthein advance. She carried, for recom- Rendation, her year's lease, with the payments Teceipted regularly the fret of each month. ~ 2y-and-by another “little woman” came into the family, and Mre. B. gave ber housework: into stronger handy; yet, with all this additional ex- pecse, they wero able to lay asid> somothing. ,,5lnve then, they have agaiu changed their res- idence, and now occupy a whole cottage, and own a piano, etc, The next stop will probably take them still further forward. Their prosperity and bappiness have all come of their having lived so far within their moans ag to leave a little weekly surplus to be Inid aside for future need. And their only chance fur doing this, on soslight an income, was by goivg to housckeeping in a tery small way. CHICAGOANNA. HOUSE-KEEPERS OR HOME-KEEPERS. That the whole and sole duty of woman, con- sisted in being A GOOD HOUSEREEPER hag been instilled into the minds of the eex from the time of Solomon to the present. It has been commonly believed thatthe ideais much older. fozes did not insist on the Hebrew women being model housekeepers, it is true; but wo always supposed this to be owing to the fact that the Wilderness afforded no particular facilities for the exercise of this leading virtue, But Bayard Taylor informs us that Moses took hia laws from ancient Egypt ; and that, in that -Wonderful land, woman was the equal of man in mental attainments ; which may have been the reason nothing was said on this subject; and that, boing equal in the sight of the laws, and more especiélly the customs of the land, it was not necessary to particularize about the sex when “ Thou shalt” or “Thou shalt not” was proclaimed. We may have been uncortain about Mosca, but wo aro sure that it was not long before the tables were ,turned, and praises of the toilers and spinners were begun; and, down through the ages, the choice morsels . set aside for the nourishment of women have been in regard to “Yooking well to the ways of her household,” “keeping silencs in the churches,” “staying home,” “spinning flax,” or, as the modern ways of expression have altered these admonitions, to “quit geddimg" and “tend to her children.” All these things nave bad their effect, and tho effect is anything but desirable. Wo havo a gen- eration of womon that are, as a rule, WHOLLY ENGROSSED IN TRIFLING THINGS ; women whose ideas rise no higher than tho pickling and preserving, and the cleaning, the carving, the dressmaking, and dressing, aud tri- fling in all forms; a generation of women who lot their houses keep them ; and is it any won- der? Suppose that, for some thousands of years, men had-bad all the teachings of romance aod song, ail the examples of heroism, of duty, of family cares, limited. by the supreme duty of keeping themselves tidy while at work, and on all occasions being nico, and sweet, and soft. Where would have been our St. Paul, or Crom- well, or Waehington, or LaFayette, or the hun- dreds of other brave, strong men thas have do- lighted aud beueiited the world ? ‘These things that have been expected of wom- en are well enough 2s far as they go, but they du not go far enough. Selfish women havo advanced much further in tho world’s wisdom thaw unselfish women, because they have aban- doued the lesser duties, while the conscientious ones Lave carefully abstained from the hizher, and paid all tieir attention to the little “2Mfairs of life. ‘The great masa of women are to-day suffering from the E LACK OF ATM IN LIFE, or from a lowaim. Women who should be home-keepers are only house-keepers. And the great troubls is, that many bright, noble women have lived and ceased living while entertaining ‘pach narrow ideas of Lome, Is it not tims tiat there should be a change in regard to the mat- ter? Tho idea that woman was to be the com- papion of man has-been based on the -gronnd that man was composed chiefly of stomach, and that it was her duty eto administer to this leading trait of character or com- position, whichever you choose to call it; that a womun’s duty to man consisted in dress- ang heraclf well for him before she married him. and dressing his dinuer well for him after bo married him. Butthe truth is, that man has ueveral other faculties beside the power of dizes- tion. He has eves, and, generally speaking, brain, as well. And, if she is to be the compau- ion of mau, she must take these things into con- sideration. If she desires a man’s company after dinner, she mast be capable of outertaining him afterdinver. No danger that ho will not be on hand to get his dinner, whether it be good or no It hss sometimes been stated that, if. woman were educated fillahe was the equal of man mentaily, she wonld never marry and would cease to care for children; but the statement is one of tho MOST ABSURD ONES ever maije. Artcannotchange Nature. Every one remembers the story of tha Professor who trained a cat to hold acandie. Yet, when he wag displaying her sill, a mouse camo. along; sbe dropped her candle and captured the mouso. Nature triumphed over education when the op- portunity came. But wasu't she bettor off bold- ing the candic than lurking sround au unprom- ising mouse-hole waiting for opportunity. As for children, theré was nothivg in higher mathe- matics, or ‘natural sciences, or languages, to cause one to dislikechildren, Ministers are cen- erally protty well-educated people; but the con- eregations have not, as a rule, complained of the scarcity of children at tbe parsonages scattered throughont the land. Of ail women, mothers need to have the best intollect and culture, in order to make a homo WHAT IT SHOULD BE, and notsimply a placo where good mei served up. The woman who bas simply di and fed ber children well has not performad her whole duty. A friend once told mo that it seemed very hard to her to have her soas find so much of their en- joyment away from home. They wore good joys, as the world went,—never unkind or rade to her; bat, if they were not reading or eatiug, they wore not easy at home. Sho was one ot the most conscientious women I ever knew; not a dull woman by any means, yet, in many things, an ignorant woman. Her ‘étrict consciousness had wrought her one. of the greatest trials of her life. She had spent her life in faithful perform- ance of her duty, as duty was defined by custom and the nearest minister, whose views of wom- au’s duty, when he ventured to express any, were of the ehallowest nature. As, in the good old days, a slavenolder always quoted the Bible, but never got beyond “Servants, obey your masters,” 80 he quoted Soriptare, but never yaried his texts, and quoted nothing but St. Paul. Sbe kept bouse. She took in her own hands the work that auy one could have done for her chil- dren; she neglected the work that she alone could have done. She hadno timo to read, or study, or mingle with the world around her. She simply was A DRUDGE, and thought that was doing her duty. Her sons were sent to as good schools as the country afforded, because press and pulpit said that ed- ucation was desirable for boys. Finally the boys returned. They ate their meals ‘at home and praised the cooking, read s whilo, and went “down town.” They went with her to church, and walked homo in silence. They regarded her with mingled feelings of veneration and superi- ority. ‘To them she was a combination of first- class servant and patrons’ Saint. What more could they expect? The news of tlie world in which they moved had nothing of in~ terest for her; the news of the progress of the house-work had no interest for them. Art, or Science, or Literature, had no more interest for her than baking and cleaning had for them; there was no reaching each oth- er’s level but at the table. Dousekeeper she was; companion she conld not be.. Tho sons sho had hoped, and struggled, and worked for, were beyond her; and she grieved and wondered how it was. i Nor was the matter better with them. Ono of them said that he felt sorry at times that he had ever left home or gone to school. He had thought his parents cared so much for him, that he had studied hard and taken prizes in the hope of pleasing them; but his mother evi- dently did not careso much for him as formerly ; was evidently dissatified with him,—he could scarcely tell why: She had been always s house- keeper, x A HOME-KEEPER. ‘The establishment was not a home, but a combi- nation of eating-honse anddressing-room. These nocessities aro elyo found in orphsn-asylums. But a home should be a place whore a parent is not only a steward or a ladies’ maid ; it should bea place whero tho parents, the mother espe- cially, ia ‘the religions teacher, the mental and ide, of the children. aries time be not far distant when there will be fewer trifling women,—fewer good-for- nothing men; when there will be fewer house- keepers,—more home-keepers. Rouru. “ THOSE WAYSIDE FLOWERS,” AND FACTS. ‘There ig a common saying, much quoted by gossips, which asserts that, “what every one says must be true.” Without subscribing to this old defense of the scandal-monger, we yet feel called upon to note s fact much ignored in this iconoclastic age, which 16, that any belief which has been accepted univereally.by genera- tions of mon will generally be found to rest quite unreasonable. upon a basis of truth. I do not here include tho ideas and theories that have been held with re~ gard to tho mysteries of natural sciouce that have never been investigated, where mero hy- pothesis existed in tho lack of experimental knowledge, nor do Irefer to mera negative bo- lief, or, I might better aay, a lack of ail belief, as in the powors of steam or electricity, while yet mankind was in total ignorance of the exist- ence of these powers, I do not include theso 4 cases, I say, in which many instances might be found tocontrovertme, but Idosay thata generally accepted ides in social science, or morals, or any phenomenon in Nature that has been repeatedly noticed will ba found, upon candid investigation, tobe true. All the wisdom in existence was not born with this generation. Our forofathers were not all blind idiors. They were able to both seeand reason upon facts perceived, and dis- played often quite as much acuteness of vision and thought as theirdescendants. For instance, THE BEAUTY OF WILD FLOWERS has been the theme of poets from time imme- morial, and from time to which the memory of man reacheth not beck, these same posts, search- ing for fit symbols of the grace, purity, and beauty of the Indies of their love, have found none better than these same wayside blossoms: of exquisite hues and delicate fragrance. But here arses a wondrously-wise young woman, who, with an sir of yery superior knowledge, assures us that thie poetry is not only all bosh, wishy- washy sontimentality,—that not only is there no point of resemblance Wetween a° beautiful woman and a wayside flower, but there are no, wayside flowers, — except fennel and dandelion, and a few frail, scentless, poor little things of no beanty or valuo. Now, this is very hard upon the poets and upon Damo Nature, too (implying that she cannot, up- aided, produce beautiful blossoms), or, rather, it would be if it were true. But, unfortunately, this sharp writer draws her conclusion without a sufticient number of facts to warrantit. Sho is evidently “out” in ber botany, aua wholly iguo- rant, not only of the flora of her uative land, but of that of every other. Tho truth 18, THE FLORA OF THE UNITED STATES, though not go abundant in flowers of gorgeous hue and spicy odors as that of the tropical re- gions, is. yet enfficiently rich in beautiful and fragrant specimens to assure any one who invea- tigates tho matter of the beauty of wild flowers. About 2,350 species of tloweriug plants grow wild in the Northern United States ulone, and the Southern States havo an equal, if not groat- er, variety. A great portion of theso would bo classed as weeds by the fautidions, doubtlees, but it may be safely said that full hal?, yes, more than half, are plants or trees producing blossoms of greater or leas beauty aud fragrance. Nearly all the valued flowers in gardens were originally wild flowers on. our prairies and in our woods;. very fow aro “ Ruth” so justly inveigzhs is, properly speaking, tho artificial aud not tho netarai ssoman. that those strong, sweet women of New En- glaud’s homes, our i types in the froe, hoaliy dlessoms of their hills, aud not in the gardens or tho grecn-houses. I fear that Ruth” is “out” in logic as well as in botauy. Aino, grandmothers, hud their Ewen. DR. VAN DE WALKER ON SEX, To the Editor of The Chicago Tribune: The paper which appears in thoFebruary num- ber of the Popular Science Monthly, from the penof Dr. Yan de Walker, on Woman, is one that is likely to call forth as much discussion as did Dr. Clarke's ‘Sex in Education.” repetitions and scientifio indorsersonts of an as- Both sre ertion persistently made by the ‘press of this country, for the past thirty years, as an all- sufficient argument against every effort for on- larging woman's field of labor,—for opening the Jabor-market to fair competition, To every do- mand made by underpaid and starving. women for an equal right to carn bread, men have per- | sistontly replied: _ “Shame upon you! Do you not know that, by reason of your womanhood, you are in- capacitated for earning a living ?” To tho persistent cry of the hungry, ‘Do, please, let us try!” the stinging answer has ever come : **Back tothy punishment, false slave! Are you nota woman? Did not the Creator atamp that condition with mental and physical inca- ‘pacity for any employment to which honors and emoluments may attach, and appoint man as your jailer to prevent your escape from this po- sition of inferiority ?” 2 Still a fow, and ever-increasing, number of women, impelled by that instinct which makea the lioness a fierce and formidable hunter, have continued to atruggle for an open field in which to test their capabilities; and now comes Selence, tho Canute who is to raj! back the advancing wave of woman’s aggression on the domain of man, and waving ita scoptre, haughtily oxclaims, “Back!” After all, ig not the questions ona which must be decided by the aggrogate results. of a long-con- tinned course of experiments? As tho question is one of Life, or the means of living, to balf the race, shall we accept any theory. no matter how well it may seem to be grounded in facts, beforo wo have tested it by trial and experience ? But will it back at this command ? One cannot wonder that male physicians feel called upon to bestir thomselves, to prevent any loss or diminution to that lucrative: practice growing out of the goneral conviction that womon are constitutionally unfitted for taking charge of their own bodies, and provonting, or curing, thove dieeases which now make them so prolific a eource of profit tothe medical profes- exotics. ..So much for the assertion that the way- | sion. Like Demetrius of old, the doctors seem sido flower will not bear cultivation. But, per- ; to feel that their craft is in danger, and geek to habs, it may bo said that what is best in ‘theso | etir up the people to drive out the ‘disturbers of flowera has been given them by art.. Opinions | the ancient worship, Who ‘seek to take away may differ on that point. Flowers are often greatly changed by cultivation, but the botanist wonld hardly admit that all these changes were to the advantage of the flower, in point of beau- ty or in any otier way. WHE#SE DO' THESE BEAUTIFUL WAYSIDE FLOWERS anow, does any ono ask? Well, perhaps it would be | tl easier to tell you where they do not grow. ‘Thoy do uot grow upon the line of the State street care, nor on the paved avenues, nor in Bridgo- port; but I kvow.of no other placa that ex- cludes them. Norcan these, wholly, for I have seen agrass flower push its little head from be- tween the stones that paved the gutter of a city street, and open its blue eye end look about as hopeiully and trustfully as though it were out oa a country hiliside, with no shadow from piles of brick and mortar to shutoff half of its share of sunvhino. I have seen the scarict pimpernel and the blue violet growing between the ties of a railroad track esuaturally and bappiiy as though the eariek and rush of tlie iron horse had been } tue music that had greeted the opeuing of flower- buds sinco the waking of the first blossum in Eden. You cannot take an bour’s walk from the limits of Chicago in any direction in the spring sod summer-time, without finding a half-dozen { varieties or more of fair wayside flowers if sou know where to look for them. * But these are ihe more modest specimens. However, some of the GLORIES OF GAEDEN AND GREESHOUSE belong to this clasa of poorly-esteemed blossoms. ‘The scarlet lobolis, so much sought for by gar- deners at the East, grows wila in magnificent profusion along ali the smali streams of this state, Iowa, and Wisconsin. The tiger-lily and the orange-lily grow wild all over the prairies of Illinois ; 50 does a magnificent and highly-prized variety of the sweet phlox. The valued caly- canthus grows along the roadsides on. the Alle- ghany mountains, south of Pennsylvania; the sweet woodbine makes its home in the copses of New York, and westward. It has also been found in this State. On the mountains of Virginia may be found the trumpet honeysuckle in a wild state, and fragraut; the besutifai little lily-of- the-valley is also to be found there. Al! these flowers are possessed of all tho beauty m the wild stato that they display when cultivated, and all tho fragrance. Indeed, though the fragrance of flowers is often chanyed in quality by calciva- tion, or increased in intensity, I think it is never thus given to a flower that is scentiess by nature, | bi while instances are known in which the blossom, though evdowed with more gorgeous hues by the skill of tho gardener, is thereby deprived of its delicate odor entirely.. ‘THE, ODORS OF WILD YLOWERS are generally very dolicate, oftou so faint that an indifferent observer would not perceive them. This ia not true of the colisioot, or Nardosmia, whose richly fragrant white and purple flowers can be seen on low meadows from. Maine to Micbigan, nor of the cquirrel-corn, a species of the dicentra, whose white crimson-tipped blos~ somscau be found in the woods es far west aa Wisconsin, in the carly spring, and which is as richly odoroas os the cultivated -hyacinth. By the roadsides in the woods of Virginia. and ax far northward as Afaine, often stretching its long branching stems across the highway, grows tho trailing arbutus—Epigea repeus the botanist calls it. In New England it ia called tho may- | d flower. It grows best on sandy, rocky soil, its creeping stems Lave heart-shaped leaves, that keep their green all the winter under the shelter of dead Jeaves and snow. With the first breath of spring the little delicate rose-colored blos- soms appear.. These flowers are borne on short stems, and often do not push their way from un- der the shelter of tho old brown leaves that cover the vines on which they grow, bat they are but poorly concealed thus, for the rich spicy odor which they exhale always betrays their preseuce. In May, in Virginia, also, tho amaryilis grows wild along the banks of streams, with flowera as flagrant as when seen in gardens. Less often cultivated, but not less handsome, is the agave, which in September blooms in profusion on the rocky hillsides of the same State. But TIME AND SPACE WOULD Far mo tospeak of even a tithe of the besutifal bosoms that. grow spontaneously on’ hiliside., woodiand, and meadow from ocean to'oceau, and from lakes togulf. Before I close this burried defense of our flora, however, Jot me mention a few ofthe more common wild flowers of this State, —flowers thatcen be found in their season and in their native haunts by any one who cares to take the trouble tolook for them. The carli- est is the hepatica, or liver-leaf.. It is found in the woods, is a delicate flower, sweetly fragrant, ‘blossoms purple. pink, and white, and appears as soon a8 the frost leaves tho ground. Next comes tho anemone, which is a very pretty flower, pink and white, but scentless, and tho claytonia, or spring-beauty, which is of a pale rose-color, and exhales a very delicate fragrance. ‘The trillium, or wake robin, which appears the same time, has several difforent varieties, The one best known here is the white trillium, which has thick velvety white petaln and is very aweet. Noxt can be found the erythroniim, or dog- tooth violet, and the sangninaria, or blood-root. Both of these flowers have rich white blossoms and are found in the woods. Then come the violets, the bluo and yellow varieties of which are scentless, but the white violet, less often seen, is very fragrant. Then follow, in the woods, the bluc-bell, the forget-mo-rot, the ladies” slipper, tho silene, and thousands of others. On the prairies the spring is ushered in with the marsh-marigold, our cowslip, which Faints whole acres of damp grounds of a gorgeous yellow. -It ia followed by the vioiet, the whito’ dicluiza, the painted-cup, the latixpur, the:| p wild byacintha, butcercups, sweet williams, and phloxes innumerable. Nor mast the wild rose be forgotten, which, though it does not bloom until June, is yet first in importance., It is very common on the prairies, where two varieties ara found, growing everywhere, by rondsides, in fence-corners, a genuine rose-colored blosgom, with a rich fragrance. Tobosure, OUB PRAIRIE ROADSIDES | are the home of the fenael, the ‘mullain, and many liko unsightly blossoms, but eince the way- side flower spoken of aga wayside flower isa type of all that is fair, gracefal, and sweet, mak- ing fovely the spot in which the Maker has placed it, the captiousness that would object to man’s comparing woman in his thoughts to any- thing so beautifal in its aspect or its mission is If she. would only always be worthy of the comparison | * the fact that the I would call attention to their time-honored monopoly, der at this, since human nature isthe same in all ages; demn or stone the agitators, lot us examine tho reagons given that they should be summarily dis- posed of. One cennot won- but, before we run together to con- Says Dr. Van de Walker, ‘‘Woe must arrive at be conctusion that marriage is not an optional matter with her. (Woman.] There is ao un- dercurrent of inj oman to merry to have been delayed until this time! this scientitic gentleman, if ho continue his re- searches, tind that there is that in the nature of healthy ‘men which inclines them to growing beards, or that women generally have five toes on each foot? Something of this kind ought to follow his grave announcement that women are actually women from come inherent law of their nature, and that this is now © known by the positive evidence of medicat men.” Tho tact is no doubt suorptising, not only to him, but to the medical mon who have deuce” on the subject; but itis one which tho advocates of woman's equality before the law have been persisteutly urging upon the atten- tion of logislators for thirty years. is the grouhdwork of ail our arguments againas Jaws and customs compelling womeu to do ‘that which, in a state of perfect freedom, they will bo sure to do of their own accord. We baye been saying, “It isnot necessary, gentlomen, to shut women up in garrets, and compel them to make shirts at starvation prices, in order to make them willing to marry you. and did earn’ just as much 2x sou do, doilar for dollar, or even two to one, every one of them, from first to last, will be willing to marry when the right man comes; aud uo prospenty or profession can ever divide & woman from thé an she ts constituted to loyo better than her- self,” ps impelling every ‘healthy » Indeed! what a discovery May uot given’ ‘positive ovi- This If they could We have always sid’ to then, “Gentlemen, Nature takes care of that marriago-busmeas; and all you bave todo into eea that want and artificial incapacity for getting a living shall nos be called in to prevent ber impulves and enforce a sale of tie person, instead of marriage, which, in tbe natore of it, must bo a thing of choice, That the Doctor is correct in his premises, 60 faras above etsted, no candid observer can deny, aud there is no reason why every one ‘should wish to deny them; but. when he says that marriage is “a prime nocessity” to women, j@ overstates his case;‘and whon he assumes that, to her, it is more important than to man, ho contradicts the facts of nutural history, so far asknown, and impeaches the wisdom of the Creator, or claims that women'can only find im marriage what men are at literty to seek out side. The generat history of sutmals proves that the male is more influenced by sexual pas- sion than the female. Honco, in many species, he is endowed with superior strength; power of Jocomotion, and proliensible organs, that he may pursue and sub win assumes that man from his ape-like proge all savage tribes show that William of Normandy came legitimately by his mode of courtship. Kuocking a woman down, and cudgeling her into compliance with her lover's wishes, or forcibly abducting hor and compelting her acceptance of the situation, are modes of asserting th jue the female to his will. Dar- nberited this propensity tors ; and tho havita of 6 sexual jemand on the partof men, which have only re- cently given place to tho logal and social disabili- ties now invoked to compel women to be willing to accept the addresses of her predestined mate. ‘That man is more influenced by sex than wom- an, is also proved by the general ,.-valeuce of “polygamy. has the power, demands » thousand wives, or, like Brigham Young, fifty, and the fifty are as content as they are reported to be, may he not infer that s man’s sexual want is ea one thou- sand, or fifty, to one that of woman ? Hone man, whon Ijke Solomon, he Is not the male of every domestic animal more occupied with sex than the female, and, by it, | more unfitted for other uses ? dence is thero that, inthis respect, the human species differ from the lower orders? Surely we do not find it in the persistonce with which men of all classes and conditions, priests and laymen, philosophers and fools, discues the question of a woman's right to use her faculties, whatever they may be, as herown judgment and conscience may direct., And what evi- So far as my knowledge goes, no man has ever yet taken tbe contra side of this question of woman's right to life, liberty, and the parauit of hsppiness, without plunging head-foremost into sexuality, and there wallowing from first to last of whatever ho may have to say. Your average man seems conatitutionally incapable of think~ ing, or speaking, or writing, of. woman, except in her sexual relations, As an immortal and accountable intelligence, to whom this whole sexual business is a momentary condition in an eternity of action, he knows nothing of her. To him she is the eharer, or victim, of his sexual inatincts,—only this and nothing ‘more; and, in his treatment of this old subject, this new Doc- tor just paddles aroand in the old pool. He pays: “Tf we contrast her with man in this respect, the chauces are infinitely against woman in pro- fessional life. The penalty of sex is an opisoda iu man’s life. Tho tribute to his sexuality once paid, he is practically uagexed.” Would he pleaso to tell us for how long? How long deca man remain “ with scarcely more than 8 cousciousuess of his reproductive faculty?” It one man would preserve this state long enough to write s half-column on woman as citi- zen and tax-payer, he would make a new do- parture. conscious person, ‘sex, in womsn, is a n= ing resence, From the age of 15 to that of 45, her ife is crowded with startling physiological acts. “But,” continaes this. sexually- Ovulation, impreguation, conception, gestation, parturition, lactation, and the menopause, con- tend with each other for supr ie Why are ‘these acts starlling? Was not the tachine constricted with special referenco to them? If the male organism were called upon to perform one.and all of them, it would no doubt be considerably startled to which it is adspted_is lactation. attend to without shock, or start, or intorruption of mental processes ; and, where the proper ma- chinery exieta, any one of the other ovts is ag simple as this. In the whole list there are only two which appeal to the mental coneciousness, and these only for s short tinc. ‘Tho othera be- Jong to the involuntary processes or Nature, and ; for the only one ‘This it can aire Do more attention: than digestion or cir +] calation. The mental proceesesof s healthy wom- an are much less disturbed by sex than those ue namby-pamby, brainless woman sgainet whom | man. In him the frequency with which his { pulsos return, compelling his utmost attention, 18 the reasoa why he is so consiautiy on guard lest woman forget his claims upon ber; while ste, danng long periods, is generally freo from any reminder, in her own consciousness, of the pecnisrities of sex. The processes goiny on in ber body are so natural to it a8 to ohalienge little if any attention, aud are no hindrance to the working of hand or brain. A woman’s thought should be clearer during the vilal process of motherhood than at any other time; and, in my own experience. I found that one’s brain is neVer in better co:dition than when tending baby, ‘That women are, in some respects, incapaci- tated for the physical labor of Pretuisionst is by motherhood; is trae; but not more for this than for washing, acrubbing, ironing, window- Washing, garden-makiug, hay-ralang, busb-burn- ing, harvesting. eheep-sheating, and so forth and 0 on, none of which practices, on the part of tens of thousands of women, liave cailed forth Baciontifis protest from aoy M. D. in tho land. Our Jearned doctors do not seem to think that the sexual functions uutit a woman for any concéiyable or inconcaivable amount of drudg- ery or hard work, provided it be momal and ill- paid, Their only anxiety is to keop women out of employments in which the compensation would bring independence. Mayall women have to approciate their disinterested regard for tho sacrod mysteries of womachood! Jane Gney Swissnen. MISCELLANEOUS FEMININE ITEMS, England bas only one divorce to America’s ten, Ovor thore they aro willing to put up with flat- irons and such, A young man in the country announces that he will give a chromo to the young Indy who will take him for better or worse, ,_ fom Owens, of Iowa, is a man of the strictest impartiality. He nas had taree wives, and he drowned them all in the same well. A Philadelphia broker courted » young Indy for six years, aud was too bashful to ask for her hand until Ler brother horsewhipped him into it. It is estimated that 100 yonng women stand ready to do copying at $2 per week where one is willing to do plain cooking at double that eum, A Rochester flirt had an offer of marriage the other evening, and rashing to the hall she called up-stars: “Mother! am I engaged to anybody now?” The power of love receives fresh illustration in the case of a Montreal girl who sold har new bonnet so that her lover might buy a pair of alates, A Nevada man who had seven homely dangh- ters got a paper to hint that he bad seven kege filled with gold in bis cellar, and every girl was married in five montha. A-young lady in Kenosha, Wis., made a trip to Niagara Falls and back, and for six mouths after- wards she refused tospeak to any of her old chums who hadn't traveled. A young lady who camo to the city to see what was advertised 28 o “Spectacular drama,” came home greatly disappointed. She says not one of the actors wore spectacles, And pow comes a Boston girl who wants the new undergarment called “prima,” because it is the first to be put ou. Bloggs says it will be the Ingt for a woman of taste to put on. Benevolent.—The late Julia Smith, of New York, bequeathed her hnaband ‘$1 and her for- giveness.” The remainder of her estate, some 340,000, she bequeatied to her niece, Tn Massachusetts 3 woman can go into busi- ness on her own account, make her husband sup- port her all the time, and, when she fails, ne has to pay her debts. Let us hear no more about Louisiana. Ashrewd Indianapolis widow made her lover deposit $3,000 iu the hands of « trustee on the morning of the wedding day, the money to be at her order for divoree purposes should she evor desire to take suck action. ‘How charmingly-naive she ig,” said a young beau to 8 crusty old gentleman. |“ Knave!” ex- claimed the latter, gazing through his spectacles toward the coquettish beauty indicated, “I should say more of a fool.” ADarwin man went coon-hunting, recently, and, on coming home, mistook bis wife's band- box for a stool, and sat dowa on it. There were no harsh words, no tears, no upbraiding—sho simply rapped him with a club. A Philadelphik man says that, when his wife gets up in the morning witha jeri, and, noglect- ing to do up her hair, goos silently about her work, she is materiatizing a domestic row which before night will shake the house to its founda- tions. ‘The chap who last sammer married a Newport belle, and who during the engagement wae al- ways boasting of the ‘linguistic and vocal ac- complishmenta of his intended, looks very se- rious now when the matter ia alluded to by his frends. Never get excited in reading of the mysterious dieappearanco of * a handsome young lady about 18 years old.” ‘They sre generally heard from in about a week, asking the old mau if he will for- give and forgot, and if they may bring Charles Henry home? A gentleman entered a bachelor’s room, and, lookiug round, said: “Very snug—rather too soug—but I suppose they are large enough for a bachelor.” ‘ xyes,” said the bachelor; “but I suppose if I had had a better half I might havo had better quarters.” . Lucretin Bord, of Elizabethtown, sottled the matter with her slow wooer by simply shedding a few tears and eaying: ‘+I don’t believe I hava aroal friend on earth.” What could the poor fellow do bat open his arms and exclaim: “ Here is your refuge!” ‘ Said 2 young married Indy recently to a friend : “My busband often said before marriage that he wonld love me to death, and I really fear he will, for I cannot even visita neighbor's without his falling upon my neck, kissing mo twenty times, and begging me to return soon.” Anexchange defines a blunderbuss as kissing the wrong girl, just as though it were possible to ba wrong in Kissing any girl. A blunderbuas is for men to kies one another as Frenchmen do, or for girls to kiss one another as they often do for want of a man to kiss them. ‘A finely-dressed Indy slipped and fell near the post-office yesterday, and tho bootblack who ae- sisted her to her feat. inquired : '* Did you bresk any bones, madame?” “No, [ guess not,” she responded, “but I'm just aa mad as if 1 bad broken » dozen of ‘em !"—Detroit Free Press. In a shop window in Paris is the following an- nouncement: ‘A fine human skin, taken of whole and tanned in that condition. It is the skin of Alssa, who was the most lovely of tho slaves of the Emperor of Morocco. She was only 20 when she died, and her skin was milk white.” Pretty Sallie Adams, of Portland, bronght the man she loved to the popping point by saying to him, while gleams of love-light shot from her half-shut eyes, ‘‘I have had two offers of mar- riage. ‘The first did not please me; and, as for the sccond, II have a superstitious regard for odd numbers.” A lady of Springfield, bas forced her husband and three grown up sons to take board ata noighbor’s, as she finds it iropossible to spare time for housework while the Tilton-Beeoher trial is goiogon. She is a elow reader, and it is only by beginning at daylight that #he is enabled to keep up with the evidence. A Vermont schoolmaster ssys he nover felt unequal to any demand in tne line of his profes- sion, excepting on one occasion, when a farmor brought his bouncing, 15-year old daughter to the school, aud, walking up to the master’s desk, said: “That's my youngest gal, and if you over catch her glidin’ down hill with the boys, I just. want you to trounce her.” Ayoung fellow in San Francisco suddenly snatched a kiss from a lady friend, and excused his conduct by saying that it was a sort of tem- porary insanity that now and then came upon him,” When he arose to taxe his leave the pity- ing damsel said to him, “If ever you feel any more sueh fits coming on you bad bettor como right here, where your infirmity is known, and we will take care of you.” Kato writes from Brooklyn to say that she has discovered how kissing may bo utilized as an adjunct to the kitchen. She called upon s youns married couple recently, who were about to bo some eggs for lunch, and who, having no time- piece at band, calculated that one kiss took two seconds, making thirty to the minute, 80 that ninety Kieses (three minutes) just turned out the eggs to their taste. “ A Rockland County (N. ¥.) girl, who was re- cently “ finished” at a fashionable seminary, has began a diary. Her mischievous young brother cut out the first entry, and it got into print. Here is s portion of it; ‘ Sunday Night—It hes just strack 12, and { am still writing. What are these thoughts: that eurga scross my heart? What is this strange longiog after the unattain- able? AmI what I really seem, or is it, a5 it were, not 80 much the infiviteaumal as the un- speakable? Let me bo calm. I have reread ‘Don Juan’ to-day. Ab! alas! will there ever besnother .Byron? May there notbe some- “*are,.coming toward me from the mist of the yuntain-top, or the flowers of the valley, some ssgu-crowned youth, who—” is he provisions or beds for my men, and directed ANIGHT IN THE HAWK’S NEST. | Written for The Chicano Tribune. In 185— I was engaged on the contruction of the Chesapeake & Ohio Railroad (it was then called the Chesapeake & Charleston Rat!road), having a sub-contract in the building of its grade. ThoughI hada large number of men and carts, with foremen, in my employ, I per- sonally supervised the work, often charging and exploding a Diast of powder with my own hands, working as hard as any of my men, and exposing myself to the same dangor they were; and the result was, my work re- ceived the commendation of the contractors and Directors of the road for its thoroughness in filling the letter of my contract. Thia was a benetit to me; for, as soon as I finished one job, another would bo awaiting me at good tigures. But, in passing from one piece of work to another, I was often obliged to make a jour- ney of several miles with my men and carts over the turnpike, through the then lonely and wild Blue Ridge ond Allegheny Mountains. remember onco passing along this turnpike with some twenty carts and a score of men, and night found us, tirodand weary, at a mountain- tavern, We asked for a night's lodging, bat the landlord, eyeing us suspiciously, refused it, with the plea that he had no feed for our horses, and us to his nearest noighbor. 4 miles-ahead. But ourteams were weary, and I refused to pro- ceed, telling the man we had enough feed for our horses and plenty of blankets for the men; and I directed the men. to unhitch and prepared to stay. The man growled out that he couldn't feed us, and that we would ba sorry for halting there, I replied we had no fears on that point. How it was we were in- vited to the supper-table, loaded down with the good things of the mountain-chase, the golden batter, and good, clear coffee; and how it was We were each given a splendid feather-bed to rest our weary limbs on,—l nover can relate; but, tha next morning, mine host smilingly in- vited me to partake, of his choice peach-brandy, and confessed he was afraid of us, because such @ large procession of carts and men had never passed along that road before in his timo ; and he took us fora band of thioving gypsies. Becanse of the large number in my company, ho reduced his bill after the wholesale style, and ended by giving us a jug of his favorite peach to imbibe along the way. ‘Tho tima the adventure occurred that I am about to describe, I and one of my foremen, Hill Sotith, were going to a new piece of work at Crown’s ‘Tsvern,—now a station on «that railroad, called Cannel- ton. We went a day ahead of the men and teams, and were accompanied only by two one-horse carte, that cartied oar baggage and tools, Wo were about three days following the turnpike as it crept uloag abreasb the wind- ings of the crooked Kanawha River. ‘There be- ing no villages along the way, we put up, when we felt like turning in for the night, at the frst log house, which, of course, in this thinly- settled land, proved to be atavern or houso of entertainment; and I must say that, with the exception I am about to relate, we were geverally warmly-welcoméd by.the good people who keps these houses, and our wants were carefully attended to, The second day of our journey was in a8 wild a looking region as Tever passed through. For hours we would travel atong without the sight of a buman being, or habitation, aloog the skirts of a pine and chestnut forest, clothing the aides of the Sewell Mountain, aud infested with bears and panthers, and, what was worse, outlaws,— men whohad fled from justice tosave their necks, and who subsiated, like the, tradi- tional Robin ood §=6and = Dick in, upon the purse of the unfortunate traveler who chanced to fall in their way, Having some GU0 hard-earned dollars in yellow gold in ong, tranks in the carts, we were of course ina nervous state during this day, yat wa feared lit- tle, since we were well supplicd with firearms. In that day it was the “custom for the men in a settlement to meet together every Saturday a(ternoon (and too often ou Sundays)’ to prac- tice firiug ata target. Tueso occasions would generally end in a shooting-match for a turkey, aud even, when it could be afforded by the con- testants, fora beef. By long and assiduous practice I became « crack shot, and but few dared to compete with me in 2 shootiug-match. Lengaged in this practice because it was the common custom of the poopla those days, not because I thought it would ever be a benefit to me. I now felt that tho time I spent this way was well spent, and I relied upon my experience asa “shot” to serve me in this dangerous re- jon. oat the close of the second day of this journey, wo arrived at a log tavern in the Sewell Moun- tain, now known as the Hawk’s-Nest Station on the Chesapeake & Ohio Railrosd. It was situ- ated upon a high bluff. where the Kanawha Iuv- or made an abrupt tura like a half-bont elbow. At the turn the river seemed to have no bottom, and the water boiled and .bubbled there like a seething caldron. Logs floating down the river disappeared hero never to be seen again ; hence the name given to this maelstrom by the coun- trymen, of the “Soop.” ‘The log tavern was composed of two rooms, and aloft, entered bys ludder. The front room wag the bar-room aud bed-room for travelers. ‘The back room was the dining-room. It con- tained beds also. No carpets were upon the Hoors. There was an addition of two rooma built to the house, which served respectively as kitchen and family bed-room. The landlord of this tavern was a man probably 60 years olf, gray-headed, and _ rort- ly. “Unlike tho average landlord of this region, who was always so newsy and talkative, this man was sarly and gruff in his answers to our questions. Ho had s bad counte- nance, which impressed me at once as in keep- ing with the bad reputation of this part of the country. My companion, who had seen much of the world, and of the different phases of charac ter, was quick to notice the evil look that beamed from the man’s eyes. On the other hand, the landlady appeared to bo an accommodating, good-hearted, pleasant little woman, who desire: to make us teal at home during our stay there. Supper was finally announced. and Bill andi sat down to a table set with excellent coffce, corn-bread, and potatdes, and a smoking joint of venison. It was the custom for the landlord to come to the table with his guests, to entertain them while eating, as well as to carve the veui- son or wild turkey, and to wait upon each one present. But our landlord, on this occasion, had disappeared before supper; and our good laud- Jady told us, with some hesitation, not to wait. for him, as he bad gone off to buy some fox-skins from. a_ neighbor in the mountain. Bill and I_ glanced at each other simultaneously, and the worst fears were imprinted upon our countenances. We proceeded to partake of the visnds before usin silence, but withal a good apatite. ‘After suppor we proceeded to the bar-room, where we engaged in smoking and discussing our present situation. Presently we beard voiccs and footsteps outside, and we instinctively arose to our feet, Bill exclaiming, “ My God! hero they come.” Our trunks, containing our money and clothes, werein the rom. ‘We proceeded tothem at once, and placed them on a bed he- tween us and the door, thus forming a sort of breastwork, and began to load some empty chambers in our revolvers. Directly the door opened, and in came five mountaineers, full bearded, dressed in buckskin trousers and jack- ots, and their heads covered with foxskin-caps, with the tail hanging down behind. They were each armed with hunting-knives and the old- fashioned rifle, much in use. twenty-five years ago. The old landlord brought up the rear. ‘There was nothing in their appearance io com~- mend them to our favor, and we felt un- casy in their presence. On0 of them —a six-footer, whose hair fell down upon his shoulders, and “whose countenance plainly said, “I am a desperado "—soon ad. Fanced sa the leader of she band, saying, ‘Wa-al, straugers, how d’ye come on?” en, looking towards our arms, eaid, ‘Got sore monty purty shooting things thar!” ‘Yes, T replied, “and as-good as they aro pretty. Ibayecot manyaturkey’s head of at 30 rode with these feliows. I thought I would load upthe empty chambers so that I would have them reaay for use to-morrow if I should sea any game. ‘Icould have killed a fox to-day, but they were all unloaded.” “Well, they must be purty good weepons, sartaim sure. Say, stranger, what will ye take for ono of them are weepons? I would like to trade you a mouty nice fox-skin for ono of ’em. J’ll trade for the hull pack, if you Bay 80? 1 No,” says I, “I don’t want'to trade any of them off, 38 I find them very good friends while traveling.” 5 Advancing closer, and reaching ont his hand, he said, Letme look at one of ’em, Cap.” I drew back, saying, ‘No. I uever let strangers handle my pistols, as they might damage them.” He gave me a dreadful look of anger and dis- appointment, and withdrew from the room with bis companion. Bill ssid, “ They are preparing. for an attack.” ‘Yes,"1 replied, “but wa will be ready for them.” “Yon're right,” sa Wo prepared onrzelves the best wo ond, ant Awaited With ansiety their return. The rtour 8000 opened. and the old landiord came in wish only one man, and said to bim, in his cruff with a jerk of bis band tewards the ladder. *yoa, know where your bed is." The man sullenly passed ua avd ascended the Iadder into the loft. We divined his intention was to come down in the mght and murder us while we were asleep. “ Oid man,” I waid, “we are readr to go to bed ; where arc the koys to the door ?” < He snorted out nervously, “I hain’t got no oss.” m “‘ AN right,” says I, “I have fonr as good keys here as any man needs [showing my ravolv- er], aad we are not afraid that any one will come im these doors, or down out of that hole in the ceiling.” I spoke alond, so that my anditor above aud those outside, if there ehould ba any, could hear. I looked at the candle and eaw that it was burning low, and I said, + Pleasa got me acandle, old man. T always bum a ight all night when I am in a strange place.” “I don't furnish vo lighta here; you needa’t be afeard of nothing in this hcuse.” “Oh, Iam not afcaid,” I replied; “butif vou don’t want to furnish candles, all right; I al- ways keep a supply along with mo, ao you can take yours aloag with you, if you want to.” I drew ont a candla and stick from my box, and lis it by his, snd then blew the burning one éut and gave ittohim. ‘‘Here is your candle,” I con- tinned, banding his to him. He took it, and, growling oat sometbiag I havo forgotten, sbufiled away. “Good night, old fellow,”I said 23 he opened the door; “you'll tind us bere inthe morning, alive and. well.” My answer was a slam of the door as the old rascal passed out. But Biliund I did not feel as hopefal as wo spoke; 60 we examined the beds carefully (thera were two in the room), snd took the feather- mattress olf one, and Iaid it under the other bed, and crept in onto it. Onr revolvers were within reach, and our candle burned upon our barricade: of trunks. We dozed lightly. Oncein the night Tawoke with s start, thinking I heard some ono in the room. I listened for a moment, and heard the eat-like tread of the villain in tho joft stesling back to his bed, for he heard me get up. I cried out, “Ob! you needn't getting up and coming down here to-night, for we are wida awake, and you might meet sometbing ‘ on- pleasant * on your way down.” He said nothing, and we were disturbed no more. The first thing we did whon darlight cama was to go to the stable and look for our horses, —tor they were good ones, and tempting prizes to a horse-thief,—and wero gratifiedto tind them safe. We fed them and returned to the house for breakfast. Oar villain of the loft had como down, and was warming by tho fire in the fire- place. We gave him “Good morning.” and ho returned it graiily, with his hesd banging down. After breakfast we fonenused, on, and that ight stoppod ‘at Hamiltow’s ‘Tavern,—a stage- 8 7 miles from the Hawk's Nest. Mr. . Hamilton was one of those genial, open-Learted, inquisitive, and communicative landlords do- scribed in the earlier part of this narrative. “Whar did ye put up last night, friend?” he asked of me, I described the place to bim as wellasIcould. He. exclaimed: with astonish- ment, ,“*Lord! you dou’t say; and came out alive! "I tell yo what, etraoger, thar’s mighty hard stories told about that Hawk's Nest.” A drunken stage-driver, lying on the floor, ronsed himself up and said, “Whar did you say you stopped?—at the Hawk's Nest? “‘Thar's more men been throwed down into that soop at that house than a six-hous team could haul. { have heerd of lots of people putting up thar, but Thave nover knowed one tacome away. I’ tell yer what, stranger, thar’s sumping wrong with Jon, or you'd aave been a victim too. You're almighty lucky to get away with your life.” Aly suspicions were well tounded, and only tha show Bill and I made of out weapons and bravery, or rather braggedacio, saved us that night. Iehudder to-night aa I pen this narra- tive,.as I have shuddered a thousand times whea I think of the night of terror and anxiety in the Hawk's Nest. A. H. Ronexis. HUMOR. “«Hobson’a choice "—Mrs. Hobson, "A man sticks at nothing when he tries to stab a ghost. Mark ‘fwain anys the Sandwich Islanders are gouerally 2 unlettered as tha. back side of @ tombstone. The Ex-ile is the name of aclab in Brnsgels. Probably composed of gentlemen formerly in the petroleum business, A North Carolina ghost halts in front of a ne- gro’s cabin avd demaads 50 cents, and in. that way picks up $5 or $6 per nizht. + Puffer bas given up smoking cigars for the present, on account of ‘hard times”—and bought a $50 meerschanm pipe. William Gorham, of Iowa, Bas crape on bit door when his cow died, and when the bors fanghod at him he shot some shot into their httle legs. The homcopaths sre going to give a grand ball in New York. We thought they always gavo pellets.—Commercial Bulletin. Not atways. Yon are laboring under a dilution.—Zoston Advertiser. ‘Thoy tried to scare a Toledo man in Missouri by threateuing totar and feather him, but ho replied : ‘* Come on with your old tar, —I've bogn thera six times, and I've got a receipt for wash- ing it off!” “Aman who fears the Lord and can carry home an intoxicated member” ia the kind of Sergeant-at-Arms they want for the Minnesota Legislature. . Henry Stanton says: “There is no open door for the moncyless man.” Per contra, Dobb ways, that whenever he is moneylesa everybody seama disposed to show him the door, and ask him ic atep out to boot. Tho latest conundrum is, ‘‘ Why is the 4th of July——?” ‘That's all. “An interval of iifteon minutes is here allowed for guessing the anawer. Then the conundrum ia again put in this forta: “Y ig the 3f of July.” High Lifo Below Stairs.—Mistreas of the honse —‘'T’ve some important letters I want taken to the post, Progmore. Have you finished dinner down-staira yet?” Butler—* Not yet, mum; the ‘ongtrays’ is just a-goin’ in.” Overworked. Cousin Kate—“ Are you coming to. skate with us to-morrow, Fred?” Fred— “Well, don't know. Awfal buey just now. Have to be at the office about 1; then there's luncheon at 2, and don’t get away til past 9.°— Punch, ‘There is supposed to he sreaper by the nam¢ of Death somewhere in this country, but in Cleveland there is an undertaker whous usme id Duty. When the friends of 3 man in that city rofuse to pay his funeral expeosca, they call it “ doing their Duty.” “Iam very much afraid,” said a prominent church member, “that brother Gupkin will never get to heaven; he has fallen from grace 80 often.” ‘That's fact,” replied the other broth- er; ‘the beats all to fall fro grace, but he al- ways manages to ‘light on his feet.” Wo noticed in a contemporary yesterday s mar riage betweea a Mr. Wightmanand a Miss Black- man, Some people may think this at first sight acase of miscegenation, but it will be obacrved that both parties to the contract. are men.— Brooklyn Eagle. That observation has soma color of truth about it.—New York Mait. “‘Dar’sde man, Mr. Speaker—dar's de man what dono it,” shouted a colored member, rising auddenly from hia seat in the Arkanuas Legis Jature, witb one hard pointing to a white man in the gallery, and with the other rubbing the sum- mit of his cranium, * Dat are cussed white an jes done spit down on the top o’ my head.” If you should invest in 2 lottery, always droara threa nights in succession, immediately preced- ing the day of Geaving, that your nomber drow the capital prize. A Bridgeport man did this, and the very next day he saw an announcement in the paper that—tho drawing had been post poned for three months.—Norrisiown Herald. An exchange says: “They would have bad « religions revival in La Crosse the other weex but for the way harnesses were cut up and arses shaved outside the church door while the preacher was starting the good,work within. A man can’t be good after finding his horro’s tail and mane cutoff.” That's s fact. Under such circumstances religion is about the last thing a man wants. On «Detroit sidewalk, the other day, = portly man snatched at the surrounding sir for a sec- ond or two, and then went down upon the icy bricks with s forca that shook his frame, and made bim see stars, ‘‘ Say,” remarked a news- boy to his companion who witnessed the catas- trophe, ‘that ’ere feller’s a Free Masor ; didn’t you seo him giving the signs?” Inside of a min. ute, two boys wera getting away, closely followed. by 8 boot. A clergyman was endeavoring to instruct of his Sunday-school peholase, ®& plow-bo; on the nature of a miracle. “Now, my boy,” said he, “suppose you should see the sun rising in the middie of ‘the night, what shonld you call that?” ‘Tho mun,.please, sur." «+ jo, but,” said the clerzymau, “suppose you knew it waa not the moon, but the sun, and that saw is. actually rise in the middle of the night, what should you think?” ‘Pleasa, si abould think it was time to got up!” wt