Chicago Daily Tribune Newspaper, December 6, 1874, Page 10

10 THE CHICAGO DAILY TRIBUN JAPAN CHICAGOED. Introduction of the Chicago Police System in Yolohama. Report of a High Officer Sent Here | to Make Investigations. Unprejudiced Staiements Concerning Qur Police Policy. Extracts from Late Japanese Papers— Trial of the Xew Weapons. Hotes from the Proceedings.nf the Yo- * kohama Police Commissioners. Frightfal Similarity fo Those of Their 3 Chicago Brethren. Ar, O’Callaghan’s Opinion of the Situation. 1t is well kuown that Japan has of late years developed a very laudzble desiro to imitate the “enterpriso and more liberal institutions which prevail in Europosnd America. First of ail, sho tried Europe as a model, but, finding that only 2n ocean separated the eemewbat sn- tiquated mouarchies “of tho old Coutinent from the lusty young Republic of the new, where the corresponding institutions were in- finitely superior to all otbers eleewhere, tho pro- gressivo Japunose transferred all their admira- tiou to this country, which has retained it ever since. Therois bardlya pubiic institution in America which hns not been mado the subject of study by tho Japanese, and, not eatisficd with the knowledge thoy gained by “the obeerva- tions of their cmisearies, they hired in Ameriea school-mistresses, Commissioners of Agricnlture, Custom-Houso ofticials, and other equally mteresting persons by tho hundred, and took them over to Japam, where they invested them with extraordinsry powers and wonderfully high salaries, and bade them proceed at will in the work of Americamzing the country. For years the work bas been going on, and though ihiere comes no word yet from.Japan regarding the presence there of an intention to substitute Republicanism for Imperialism, there is somo encouragement in the fact that our institutions bave gained firm foothold there, and must ulti- mately prevail. “The bes eviconce of the popularity of Ameri- can idesy in this progressivo iusular elice of Mongolia is the fact that tho Japaneso havo not et done coming to £chool in America. Tho TFastern Siates bave perbaps tsught them all the know, but they have found out that tha Great West have yot many lessons to teach thom, especislly in the line of CIVIC LEGISLATION AND MANAGEMENT. The news of the gigantic strido towards popu- lar government whick the City of Chitngo took sbout this time last yesr did not fail to make its impreesion upon the Mikado of Japan, who, it will bo remembered, bavinglheard of there- formed plans of the mew civic rulers, wrote a letter to the present’ Mayor asking to be made acquainted with the details of the management of the Chicago police force, with a view of in- trodncing the system into the principal cities of Jopen. Tt will also be remembered that the Wayor's Becrelary, Mr. Cloveland, wrote the Mikedos very plessent and polite note, inclos- ioga complete description of the system upon which the People’s party was to convert tho Gomorrah which the city bad been turned into by the atrocious misrale under the previous Po- lice Superintendent, with a paradisical spot where everyone could do eversthing ho wanted, and noimpertinent questions ssked. The circum- stanco has porhaps been forgotten by thegeneral ‘public,—not so by Tue TrreoNe, however, which eince the departure of Mr. Cleveland's letter, some months ago, has been in coustant com- munjcation with its Yokohama correspondent. vho has from time to time forwarded extracts trom the local papers. alluding both to the JERFECTION OF THE POLICE SYSTEM BORZOWED FROM CIICAGO, nd to the beneficial results which the improved condition of the city already shows to have arisen from its introduction. Bofore proceeding to give these interesting documents to the pub- lic, Tue InIpuNE feels called upon to relatea Little secrc* history in connection with the sub- ject, which w1l eurprise not only the public in wenerzl, bat the police_in particular. This is to the effect that while the letter of Mr. Cleveland was fonnd by the Mikado to bo tighly instructive in its pature. _yex, m order to recure more details on tho eubject, he had al- ready sent in secret to Chicago THE TYCOOX OF YUNGHTSOOY, ono of the most important provinces of the Em- pire, = Jepanuse noble who, in addition to great natiral eagacity, possessed a Europeau cducation, Lzving spent ten yeaas of the eariier portion of tis life in Great Britain. The Tycoon of Yung- ly=oon arrived in Chicago about” the same timo 15 the Mikado's letter, but preserved during his wholo voyage lus “Iayborn,”—as they call an incognito_iu_Jupan,—and repainog with lus trunk and valise, which were of the very latest New York pattern, £o the Commercial Hotel, en- tered his name therein as plain *John_Smith," 2nd pave ont that he was a New Yorker in search of employment. How the Tyeoon managed to get 2 place on the police foree no one knows, or, perbaps, thoso who do know would not care to tell, but, it there &ro any who doubt the fact, the following almoet verbatim translation of his REPORT TO THE MIK4DO on his arrival home, on polico maiters bere can- not feil to be conclusive, Our_ correspondent’s trapslation reproduced in English tha foreign idioms, but these have been aliered, s thy ren- dered tho translated report in parts almost un- inteligible. ., Celestial Emperor! Prother of the Sun! My illuatrious Ruler, etc., ete., ete. The worm who crawls to thy terrible footstoo! would epeak of ‘'his mission to the land of the mighty eagle. As the Eervant of the Brother of the Sun, ho hes lived among, and borno the mystic star of, tho foreizu Kopp. Your servant, while ho woro the azure garments aud mystic star of the legion of Eopps (= dignified title applied to polico officers by asect called the *bohoiso,” of whom your gervant will epeak further on), had abundant op- portunity of observing tho inner workings of the department, the u}},z;mzuion of which he found 1o be os follows: The force is nominally under the control of a Daimio, whoee ofiicial title isthe Genernl Bapoerintendent; but, as this name is too long for overy-day use, he i iy e 'y use, he is more commonly "Tho daties of this ofheial wie 0 duties of this official, who recei equal to that of a Tycoon of n.m“o;fi.:::%:z’; provinces, are the issuing of orders to tho force and preferring of charges against them before the Board of Commissioners, which cousists of thireo Daimios, whose duties &re to koop n check upon tho Javereem, lest under his control the force shouid becomo too eficient. Tha Liead of this Board is an agedand &age politician, whose oflicial title 15 the Siyolemark. This offico x;mveu only 1o & mav of great craft, and the older is virtually tho chief of the Polico Department. —Tho other Commissionors Shops2ovR by the tilles Klokkithabsita, inci| y it e ing ilmP fomnn o e oo Eum:‘!!yll with ~ head-coverings, 0 ::;nb!n old lady, whose ofticial Hitle 1o the 3 no. This old lady has been chosen on account of the fi it sition: tather mfiuemu Herconess of her dispo- sesses of polics nffaj s the * i and causing to *walk off upon 5 " legion of newspaper roporters o, i:p:o‘;:h :fi: Bozrd's presence with a view of « ‘pumping * the z2stute Sivoldmark. Thero must be about 50,000 of theso reporters i the city of mighty confla. grations, as the most trifling incidont canmor pu. cur without & dozen or more of them approach. ing the epot end taking notes of the most ex. traordinary points. These are all men of _ MIGHTY INAGINATIVE POWERS, and their powerful deseription of facts which npaver existed lend a charm to life which is utter- Iv unknown in noy of the cities of Japan. This Board of Daimios isinvested with full power to charges, which is never taken under oath, a8 that might greatly alter the nature of the evidenco. As z political power, tho Boord is a_great suc- cess, and, in an clection, the sido which Lus tho vote of the mystic-star bearers i8 very certain of success. Tho officor noxt in rank to the Jay- creem is known a8 THE MYK-IRKI, . aman of profound political experience, and therefore a thorough policemnn. Myk-Ikki is sccond in craft only to the Daimio Slyole- mark, sod, s a recoveror of stolen "dis- monds, is without ou cqual. Noxt in Tl come thres Yaconnis, who aro Tero called Captain, or moro frequeutly, in sccordance with tho general tendency towards titular abbreviation, “C Under theso aro Jarge number of mior Yaconuis, who aroknown as Sergeante, and noxt to theso dro the ordinary oflicers whouo titlea aro_manifold, being known among tho bohoise as “ Kopps.” or **Bobbies,” or * Blue-Bottlea,” or * I'eelors.” The exact meaniug of theso words your servant could not discover, but they doubtless are terms of respect aud admiration. THL UNIFORM OF THE ‘‘xopr" i dark-bluo pants and cout, which is secured round thie waist by u leather bolt, in which rests a mighty truncheon, and on tho broast 18 pinned the mytic star, which your servant pelieves is a charm ivsuring the personal snfety of the wearer. The coat of the Kopp also bears a number which is of great servico in tracing mombers of the force who Lavo strayed aud potten Jost. Tho arms of the policemen are a revolver, the mighty truncheon, and an mstrument of torture kuown a8 the * come-alongs.” ‘Tho revoiveris carried in the rear pockes of the pants undorneati the cumbersome coat-tail, an excellent precaution, as this insures a delay of a counlo of minutes in drawing the weapon, aud thus in each year saves many fauocent lives. Theso rovolvérs aro of various patterns, and cost according to tho wealth of thio donor and tho valuo of the gervico rendered bim by the Kopp. The truncheon i made of hard end heavy wood, and most of thoso carried by tho Kopps bear evidence in lood-stains, brain-clinginga, skull-spliuters, and mutted bair of their efiicacy as preservors of the peace. THE COME-ALONG, howerer, ia the triumph of Amcrican invention. 1t is o thin steel chain, about 6 iuches in length, with a baodle at each eud, and it is twined round and tightened upon tho wrist of a prisouer who does not wish to *come along” aud Lo “run in It never fails to accomplish this object, and, if necossary, the wrist of the captive can bo broken with an extra twist or two. As an extractor of confes- sions from the unwitli t will prove invaluable in Japan, and is deserving of o trial. It is doubtful whether the Japavese Kopp will at once attain tha power of sleeping whilo stand- ing on a street corner, or of sitting for threo Lours ot a stretch on an oyster-box, of singling out for arzest the inuocent man from among a crowd of sinners, or tho thousand other littlo peculiaritics whick your servant discovered to bo cssential qualities of an experienced officer, but training ou these peints will doutless dovelop them in Japau as they have bzen developed elsowhere. In consection with tho police force is a prison known ag THE BRIDEWELL, which adds greatly to the political power of the chiet ofticer of the city, known as the Miti-bag- ijsmasher, whore principal duts is the eigning of pardous for such of tho prigoners as swoar to vote the rieht ticket next timo. Such an insti- taticn conld not fail in Japan to provean ex- ceilent mesns of obtaining poseession of the itzebues—Angiice, money—of such as might bo suspected of owning too greet & quantity of that commodity. With regard to the payment of tho force, your servaut would recommend that 2 bushel of rice per weck bo gravted the Kopp, other oflicors being paid accordiug to rank. 1t is to be regretted that there is no class in Ja- pan correspouding to THE BOWOISE,”" or % bummers,” as they are sometimes called, ol Chicago. 'They are & privileged and unemployed ciaga, who in carlier years spent their energics in performing a public duty known as ** running wid der mersheen,” a privilego which was solely accorded to wembers of tius brotherhood, but Which has passed away aud been replaced by an amusement known a8 * setting them up.” at which the *bobioise " ar singularly expert, and of which they seem never to get tired. Tho ex- tremo necessity of such 8 class in Japanis shown by thie fact that in Chicago the brother- hood of *‘bohoise™ has ropresentatives inal- most all the principal and minor ofices of the City Govornment, It may also bo remarked that, if Jopan does not promote _the formation of such s ecct, itis highly probablo that the polico force will languish for lack of occupstion. How well tne suggestions to the Mikado were acted upon, and the Leneficial results which fol- lowed, wil be learnad in & perusal of the follow- ing selections fromtha Yokohama paperof recent date: ORGANTZING THE FORCE. The followinz selection is tuken from the Yokohawmn Daily of the 20th Septeniber last, and is the first public allusion of any cousequenco to the new civic experiment : It is with much satisfaction that we apnounce thst tho Tycoon of Yunghysoon Las at list succeedod in the organization of tho Yokohama polieo forco on thy | eystemn which is at present working 80 well iu Chicego, The Oboshaka (Anglice, ** Great 1ioard ") 18 o bo pro— sided over by the Venerablo Drinki-drinki, who hus for =0 long a time had the respect of the * bolioise " of thio part of the town in which he lives. There 8 no doubt that in his_capacity of Sly-ole-mark he will be 3 great euccess, The posilion of Klokkithahatts has Leen swarded fo tho emergetic Young Talkoo- talkee, the umbreila - makcr. Much difenl- ty las been expericnced in finding old woman of such extraordinary ferocity as the Grani- reno of the aity of mighty contligrations, bat pouding an ofticfal eppomtment the dutles of the position will te performed by the aved Skoldu-an-Bhrachu, who, after railing four different hurbends to death, was under sentenco of decapitation for slaying ler grand- son Lecause o had accepted a poeition in a local fire- insuraico company. The position of Jaycreem of tho force will by taken by tho well known Rosi-Nosi, while 2u able Myk-Ikki, agsistant fo him in both political apa police matters, hos been se- cured in the person of Tukee-Krossce. Three Yaconins to commund the three divisions into which tha city has been divided bave been chocen, 10 assist when a full supply of Sergeants have been ap- pointed. Tho full complement of Kopps bas nut yet been secured, a8 not all of tho applicants can show that ihiey voted thie utraight ticket at tho Jast election. Due Tegard 1 being paid to secure strong koppe, but of coursy their political leanings must, in accordance with hy American system, Le firt_consfdered, The detective f.rce has been placed in the hands of men intimately acquaiuted with the thieves of the city, and it fs expected that inall robberics which ocour they will boabie tosccure squealers”—the American term for a thief who tells upon another thief—who will provide them with ho “dead open and Shut” or tho “dead givo wway,'— that ds, tell them all about it and secure tlio capture of the thicves and recavery of tho “swag,” o articles stolen. In the matter of the de- tectivo depactmont, however, the Japuneso foren will be an improvement, financially, over that of Chicago, in that, instesd of Paying salaries, 2 large vonus will 'Le charged the detectives, the observatious of the Tycoon of Yunghysoon abroad having watisfied him that pay- ing them salerlcs was worso than o work of superoge- tion. Police stations hiave boen built in tho most un- comfortable quarters of tho city, with underground cells which display a proper :mount of discomfort aud lack of veutilation, ond the Bridewell, which has beeu built to sccommodute 10.000 prisoners, 18 nearly completed. 1n n weck from to~day the Kopps will bo- gin their work in Japan. Woe then to the citizen of Yokohama who is brought by them beforethe recently- appoiuted Banyons of tho Pesce, who will Lave tho awarding of punislments in band. _ TESTING THE ARMS. The following, from tire same paper, appeared on the 22a of September: Several interesting experiments were made yester- day afternoon, in the court of tho Mikado's palace, with a view of testing the much-vannted powers and varled applicability of the polico weapons brought over from Chicago by tho Tscoon of Yunghysoon, fhe suc- cess of whose visits to the land. of the Mighty Eaglo will be assured to thone swho read tho following report. ‘The several experiments woro conductod in the pres- ence of the Mikado, and under tho diraction of the Tycoon. The first weapon tested wua. the truncheon, which is the favorite of tuc Kopp of foreign lands, who uses it with deadly effect upon the inofensive mem- bera of a demonstrative mob in order to inspire with fterror the breasts of thoso whose intents are really evil. About one hundred condemned prisoners, men, wonien, and boya (partof those arrested in tho recent rebellion at Arkansaku), were brought into tho court-yard, end huddled together. Two well-known wrestiers who havo Leen sdiitted $o tho force were then armed with the trunchcon and ordered to pro- cced. It took them but half an hour to kill the rebels, In aceordance with instructions from tho Tycoon of of Yunghysoon, who wisely insists upon following the American” s¥atem strictly, the wrestlers in tho be- giuniug of their onalaught showed their skilt by avoid- ang tho men, tnd contining their exertions fo the women and boys. An Ameriesn gentleman who stood by made the remark that he had not seen anything 5o natural or homelike sincs Lo had left Chicego, TLs experiments were made with the come-alongs in thie hands of the Tycoon Limself, who applicd them so dexterously to iL:a wrists of several | political offenders who had Litherto obstinately denied their guilt, that under the intense aguny produced they medo confes- sious of acls of which tiey had mever been suspected The last, and by all means the most interesting, of the experiments, were thoro made with the rovolver., Another batch of rebels was brought into the court, and the manner in which the Tycoon brought them down, at varfous distances, caused the most intcnse satisfaction to the Mikado, the execution accomnplished Dy tho little weapon fairly cstonishing him, = A still greater proof of tus perfection of the arm was in store for him. As Lo was uttering bis words of praise his eye fell upon old Mother Kalu-lulu standing upon her doorstep at & distance of abaut 400 fect. The Mikado asked the Tycoon if it were possible to strike » mark 0 for distant, and told him ot any mte to try. Tycoon brought the old lady down at tho frst fire, nud informed the Muado that be had not scen 0 extraordinary a shot since ke left Chicqo, where he had scen tho same feat performed under ulmost similar circomstances, Tho k] sppoint, discharge, or fine the members of the orce upon the hearing of tho testimony on Tesult of theso investigations cannot fail to prove that ‘when tio Yokobarma police forca is organized and pro- ‘vided With auch terrible weapous, the reorganization of tho clty will bo_accomplished in # remarkably shart space of time, and in 2 Very viZOrous mauncr. A GOOD SCND-OFF. The Yokohama UMaily of tha 25th Septem- ber contains the following send-off of tho now Jzpaness police forco: This morning, the Yokohams Topps begin thelr work of reorganizing tho city, Although of lute yeors it Lius secmed that (ho city w28 freo of troubles of all Kkinds, the Miksdo 1s of the opinion that this sceming trauquiliity may be morely the precursor of an outbreak agaiust the Imperial power, aud Lo elleves that the creation of ‘a power which will suporviso the actions of cach eitizen will tend greatly towards the safuty of the Stato. It is to bo Lioped that the citizeus of Yoko- hamia will hienceforward bo very circumspect in their actions, as any breaking of tho faws will Lo visited by thio Babyous ‘of the city with condign punishment. Tho police forco of the city numbers 660 nien, exclu- sive of oflicery, and it will Lo their fault if they do ot discover by to-morroy cveulng that Yokobaws is tho ‘most sinful city iu tho universe, THE FIRST DAY'S WORK. The energetic manuer in which tho Mongolian police-force traneacted their first day's business 18 attested by the following extract from tho Yokohamn Daily of the 26th Septomber : Nobody had any fdea thot the Gity of Yokohama was ¥0 utterly depraved until the fact was proved by tho enormous number of arrests mado by the new yolico yesterdsy. The total number of prisoners in- carcerated in tho station-Louso cells, which wers only mudo to accomuodate 1,000 prisoners, was 2,400, boing an averago of four for cach man. Cousiderablo troublo was experienced in zccommodatiug this large numLer of prisoners, but s they all came out alive it is pro- sumed that tho cell aocommodstion will Lo equal to all omergeucies. An nmusing incidont occurred at Sa- tiou No. 13, which hiad been paved with pateut asphal iu imitation of the latest Chicago station, on uccounf of tho pigtails of a largo number of tho prisoncrs have ing got csught in he sticky compound but & puir of Gcissors &oon el them ot thcir cage. It bocamo spparent to tho three Banyons of tho Peace that they could ot possibly in ono day eatisfactorily try 2}l tiie priconers according to the American system, 0 thoy wnet to- pother aud_decided that a thirts’ daya’ restin the TDridowoll was the proper punishuwent for all arrested, Tt is probuble that, inasmuch as many of the arrested are of high Tank, considerable revenuo will be derived on account of the releases of the incarcorsted, TIE BOARD OF COMMISSIONERS. The following_roport from ,tho Yokchama Daily ot the 3d October shows that tho Jup- aneso Bourd of Commissioners does not snud bebind that of Chicago in tho extreme wisdom of its decisions of cases brought before it. Tio Slyolemark, the Klokkithalatts, and the Granireno et at tlicir office yesterday to try charges against ofticors of the Yokohama police forve. "I'he first prisoner called was thie Kopp Striki-Strik, +wlo was chorged by the Jayereem with naving shame= fully malireated a citizen noined Tali-Tolu. The evi- Qeute in the casu showed that the Kopp was arrestiug 3 young girl for squinting, when tho oflicious ‘Tali~ Tolu ventured to enow that the girl bad dono so from ficr birth, and could not_help duing s0. Tho Xopp naturally resouted this interference, and imocked Tali- Tolu dows, shot him through tho thigh, aud then dragged Lim to the station-house, with tue assistauce of lus comealongs, Tho Slyolemark, in disposing the cose, said that be ' felt bound instances to support the dignity of tho polica force. It did not Tollow because a police- A was paid by tho eity, thut citizens should look up- on i a8 & bireling whomn they could oppross at will aud treat as they pleased. The police-oflicer was 3 representative of tho Mikado's grandenr, and it iil-be- came such offenders against tho peico b Tali-Tolu to endeavor to Lring disgrace uyon tho force. Tuo cliarges ngatust tha defendant should bo disinissed, and the prosecutor fned in 1,000 bushels of rice, It nced only be remarked that Tali-Tolu is only a palauquins Vearer, while SUrikl-Strild was cspecially Tecommendvd 283 G member of the foree by the 'I'ycoon of Twanld- te, to insurc a full appreciation of ilie wisiom of the decision, Tho next case was that of Chiecki-Cheexd, a Eoppwho gained bis admiseion to (ko force simply on account of personal morits. o was eharged with using im. pertient langnage towards 1li-tonf, & promment titizen of Yokobama. The evidence in tho cage ahowed thut Uii-toni, while golug omo yosterday night, afier spending tho evening at anaki-hotiso (Anglice—whisky- sbop) with his friend Nippi-Nippi, met wits the Kopp Checli-Chceli, and in " pleasant 'way told him to go to the Deo-vil, Tho Kopp intimated to i-toui that ko bad better go home quictly, when Hi-tout tried to re- Jieve bim of his truncheon, und strues bLimin the In tho scuffio which ¢nsued the Kopp got the advantage and conveyed the citizen to the Lok-up, The Siyolemark vus much exerciced when he heard the evidence, and ufter consulting with tho Klokiki- thabiats aud'the Granireno, who' coincidud with his views (an they always o in accordance with tld Chi- cago systew), by deliversd Lis opinion in the cake as foliows: 3 44 Cuoeki-Chioeb, it quits ainazes me that 3 min of ienco aliould not know botter than o act in ;ous 1 tnanner towards Buch a citizon as Ui toni, _Are you awaro that ko controls 400 vutes in the West, Division, and hos au interest ina beer-saloon on the Nord-Sito? I buve consulted with my able col- leagues, and wo are agreed that you deserve instant Gisinissal from the force. You will hand your uni form to the Juyereem, who will give it to Soma one more capable of distinguishing between wealth and poverty than you,” INCREASE OF CRIME. The Yokohama Daily of tho 5tk October hints as follows of an unoxpeeted werense of crime in tho clty: Why it should be no ono can fell, but within the past few days the number of crimes aguiust pesson and property have greatly incroasod. We Tegres to learn that several propistors of siki-houses have intro- duced the feature of female attendants, characterizing their places by the American name of * Pret-iwater- gal-saloone.” " Thees will give tho polico an excelient chance of sbowing tholr powers of suppression of ovil, : CAUSE AND EFFECT. The samo peper of tho Yth October con- teins au interesting item uuder the head of Citi-Hall News, as follows: The police force were paid off for the last fortnight sosterdar, tho total amount of rice required bLetug 10,000 bushels. The suki-houses fu the viciuity of the stitions did a very lurge business yesterday, but te number of persons in the cells Jiat might 'was very small indued. AORE CRIME. Tho same paper of the 10th October again roverts to the increass of erimo in Yokobams as follows : Tho number of burglaries committed within the past few days gives us reason once sgain to thunk the gods that wo Liave a poiice force on the Chicago ylan. Wiat would our condition Lo without the Kopps { Fivo citizens wore robued of all their ftzouues lasy night in the seki-house of Nikgeeri, and tho saki-house Djim-magari was tho Scene of & most _disagreeable “unpleassutness” (the American term for any crime 1 the vichity of murdor or mansliugiar) botween tho proprictor aud the notorious Buncko-my', the lat- for attempting to shoot tho former. Duncko-myx was arrested and focked up, but aa he Las of lato proved bhimself a valuablo adviser of the Doard of Commixsioners on police matters, ie was re- leased in a fow muutes, and it is uot prokablo that any punishmont will by meted out to him. It is doubtful, Liowever, tat the Mikedo will oppoint him Adviser- Generul of the Board, s& had -been confidently az- pected, until the unpléasantness has “ Llown over,” (An Amnerican turm oxpresying the obliviou granted to thoso high in ofiee, or of donsiderablo wealth or po- litical power.) Strange to say, somo of theso rob- Dorics, for which no srrests’ wero made, occurred right under the f tho olice, but a8 this is o tuing which happens elsowhere very frequently, thero 18 1o’ eauee of the complaints which it is hinted ‘oue of the parties robbed had the sudacity to make this moru- ing to the Ayk-Lickd. TIE POLICE VINDICATED. On. the 11th October the samo paper re- cords tho summary vindication of tho Yokohamn police of tho complaints referred toin-its pre- vious 1ssue, as follows: The citizen, Ak-wapes, who had, on the hearing of {hio Myk-Ikki, accuced the Yokohatna Kopps of gencral incapacity, was yeaterduy brought beforo the Board of Commissioners to answer. The evidenco of the Myk- Tkki showed that the accused bad, at the the station, on tho ovaniug thit Lo waa arested for Lelug robbed, used the following words: 4 I thiuk that the polico forco of Yokohamus s a sham and s fraud.” Tho ac- cused, who was permitied to make & statoment, said thut while being robbed by two wrestlers, who had rushed upon L from tho door of & salii-loune, he called for asfstanco to thess Kopps, who were dozing on tho door-step of tho Louse. Tho Kopps declinod 1o interfere until the robbery and escape of the thieves ad been consummated, snd then arrested lum on a charge of being drunk, which charge was untenable, inasinuch 28 the accised was Grand-Daimio of tho Yokoharoa Chapter of the Anti-Sukd Society of Japan, and mover drauk anyihing but water in bia life. Just hero tho Sizolemark broko in with nowonted impetuosity, and declined to hear 2ny more testimony in tho cage, He enid ho had his opinion of o man who stood unblushingly Lefore tho Court and acknowledged that he was 8 confirmed water-drinker. It was well known that a persistent abstinenco from those invigorating- bovérages whose stimulating powers boro evidence at once to the good- ness of the gods and tho ingenuity of man invariably resulted in tho lowering of the moral tono and tho weakenlng of the physical powers of tho sbstainer, It Tad long been matier of great concern to bim to gce that the secret goclety, of which the accused was oue of tho leaders, was becoming a mighty political power, whoso suppression he would henceforward try to se- cure, The evidence in the casd was clear, aud tho ac- cused must be sentenced to capital punlsbment, of course the Klokkithakatta and the Granirono cofu- cided with this opinion, and in five minutes tho lead of thie uccused was very neatly shced off by the civic executioner. We hope that tlis will bes warning to gamblers in tho future, . GRANIRENO. The following is from the same paper of tho 12th October: e regretto state that our Citi-Hall news of to-day 18 mot 0 full 25 {t would have been but for an unfor- tunate display of ferocity on the part of the Granireno, Our reporter, who Lad ‘fu the moruing spent soveral hours in a saki-houso and consequently was in 3 frame of mind whercin enterprise outweighed loquaci- ty, undertook to interviow tho old lady just 2 sho was explaining the evils of fire-insurauce fo & bystander. Incensed st the untimely interruption, the Granirouo Beized Lit-clfranki by tho throat, kuocked him down tho steps of the Citi-Hall, snd dinced upon his body fer the epsce of halfan Hour. The funeral will take place to-morrow, and 28 all the snki-scllers of _the cit; Bavo ecpresued’s determination to attend it, it wil probebly be one of the largest ever ecen in Yokohama, In the same paper of the 13th of October ap- peurs the following interesting item : There arrived in Yokohamn yesterdsy a Chicsgo Kopp named O'Kal-cgan, who hus been brought hero to join the Yokohama Eopps, iu the hopo that the power of his good exsmple may bring the rest of tho force up to tho Chicago standard. Mr. O'Ral-agan comes highly recommended by the Slyolemark - of Chicago, and enters at once upon his’ duties, His presence will, in a short time, set forever at rest the Tugly rumors ‘'which prevail concerning the incompe- tency of the forco, and ita alloged connivanco at misdecds of the ungodly, This ends the extracts from tho Yokohama papers. How well TAE O'KAL-AGAN y introduced the Chicazo system into Japan will appesr in tho following lotler reccived here o day or two ago by Oficer ——, au old chum of i 5 Yornusarsen, Oct. 23, 1674, FRESD JaMes: It's wishing I wes i Brigport T am with y0u 10 Loy, anid tho tow av s traading our beota Dy sitting down’fu Mickey’s saloon over a little Loor- Lon. What ort of a counthry do ye think this fxany.- way wheu the only dbrink u sowl éan procuro s stutl they call sakkl, 56 wake that it takes a quart to climo 1alf way up your neck even, aud nothing Iess than a gallon can got up 46 the head 2 SHtil o8 I'm makiug money I can’s complano, Ten thousand dollurs for iwo 1nonths' work and five thousand cash down 13 Lettor than §100 2 month snd a fine of threo days’ pay avery tine o mau gets a thrifle dirunk. Au tho eliow to turn oo honest penny Liero s a fiue one, Tam futhro- ducing tho_ ould Brigport system bere wid a vengluce. I'm shtandiug in wid il tho thaves an gatublors, an the way they come down it wud do your ould heart good to see. If 1dou't come home next year wid 8 hunderd thioussud dollars and run for Alderman at the next clection me natuo s not Okslognn, whiclt it is, and whats better wy fayher’s too, 1t would make ye die larfing James to see the pollee oNicesa here, Every ouo carries au umbrolla and s fan, aud the wolemn way they walk obout wud kill s plg. I have organized & dotective forco of tiu min, and o3 they whack up wid me on all thete capture I snticipat grato good from the orginisashun, X 1¢ll you thore is somo _things these Jappynees picks uy mighty nateral. Tuko them ou the bate, an see how one av them can pick out the softeat boord in the side- walk to spend an Lour or two sitting down ou it. An then the quite way one will shlip futo a saki-houso for his Little nip, yoursilf, James, cuddent do it sisicr or nater, An thicn Lo hear somo av thetn shwear forninat tho Banyous of the Payce, a8 they calls the Lolice Jus- tices here. Widout a sino ay o biush they tell the reateat Jea. I tell you they picks things up mighty slick. An 6 cecone of them falo to observoa fighs that ‘was going on tinder Liis nose—a blind man cud- deut weo levs thou b, There is grate prospicts fora policemau in this place, Eversinco the Ohitago sistem ‘was jutrojuiced the gambling-houses, the eaki-bousns, tho pretty-waitor-girl galoous, and Wworke have muro thau dubiled, and in a yero from now, James, the po- sishun of o Yokihnmmer policrnunn who understuids iz will be 38 good a thing a8 Deputty Scoprintindent ora mimber of the Boord. You must come over hear and take hould when I leov. This comes Lopping ye aroall well 80 no moar at preseut from you frond . O'CALLAGILAY. P. 8,—Adress your leter to * Yukinon O'Kul-agun, Advisir-General to the Yokibamtmer Bourd of Police Comuishuners,” tu 1t will react 0. K. e SCNG OF THE WORAN-SUFFRAGIST. I would not be a bird ; for then 1% bo obligod to £iug for i, I would 1ot Lo n star, you eet, Tor man toalway 1 would not bu a suramer-breezo ; For thea my breath would make inan noen (Bt wero 1, theru'd be porer ity Yo inake man cry out, in a minute), Twould not be un unital ; Tor ma wouid then vrovo caunibal, 1 would not be a pretly deer s Yor then I'd run from man, In fear. 1 would uot be—0 cuythitg That wonid pleace men, or pieasuro bring | But—I would bo 4 sliarp, shurp tlorn, “Fliat coutd will ease nake man forlurh. Or I w gallingg chaiu would be, o deprive man of liberty. Or 1 would be an avalznche, To causo man's choek with feas to blanch, 0r I would be a raging fire, To kindle man's funers 1 would be an arrow & “Yo cause man's lfe to tura adrift, Or 1 would be the stormy re. Thiat drowns man iu cterni: Or I would bo a haunting fear, 70 dray poor 1an ty desth aresr, Or—tcurse than uil, I'd Lo« wife # o worry out soume poor man's life. ————— HUAOR. Bouix, Before taking liborties with a strange dog, ob- servo his tail, and wait for the wag on. If a railroad train that is run into by znother is telescoped, a mun who is run iuto by s wild young ox must be stereoscoped. The report that o successful poultry dealer had st up o carriago, aroso from his etatement thas e had made hus coop pay, this seuson. A New Orleans_paper offers the sentiment thus: * Goorzo Waslington—First in war, first in peace, and last in getung a monument.” The boy who ran awny from school to “go fising all alone,” and caught himself in tho lip, says be's got enough of fishing on his own hook. We are pleased to note an editorial in the Gazelle on **The Uses of Greec Together with porsoverates it will a¢complish wounders.— Cinewnnat Times. Insurance mottoos Tor s fire company, Honesty is tho best polioy;” for a life com- puny, * Nevar say die; ” for & marine company, * Dou't give up the ship.” Silas Card was married the other day, aud backed on his_wedding uotice were tho words, **Xocards.,” But Lo docsn't know what might happeu.—Norristowen Uerald. «Mr, Smithers, how can you sleepso? The mon bas been up theso two houre.” “ Well, what if_ho has ?” eald Smithers. * Ha goes to bed at dark, while I'm up till after miduight.” The oxcitement created in & New England town by the report that & vein of copper had been dis- covered, subsided when it was ascertained that the ** vane of copper ” was an old weather-cock. «Nover too late to mend "—Respectable Mon —“Doarmo! L'm rorry tosee this, Muggles ! Theard you'd loft off drinking.” Disroputable Party—+ Sho I 'ave. Shir—(nid)—jesh 'lsh vory minute!” A houselolder complained fo s plumber be- cause bo bad vent & boy topus in & fancol instead of doing the work himself. ‘ho plumber ro- minded him of the legal maxim, *Qut faucat per alinm faucet per se.” A colored gentleman went to_consult one of the most high-toned lawyers in_Doaton, and, after stating his case, said: * Now, I knows you's A Jawyer, but 1 wish you would please, sar, jies tell me the trufl’ *bout dat mntter.” Scipio Africanus, all dressed up in his new clothes, yostordny called ot Hurris Brothers’ for a ‘“two-bit cigar, sah.” Would Le nave it ‘i gtrong or mild?" * Well, boss," uaid Scipio, **not too strong nor too mild—one dat's about pro rata I"— Virginia (Nev.) Enferprise. A gontloman 1n the cigar business sends his sanunl gem to the Detroit Free Press : *Tlg autunn, and the leaves are dry, ‘And rustle on the ground, Producing in’ards of cigars Ata trifling cost per pound, i Stranger, will you try o hand with us at poker 2 Thank you, gontlemen, but thercare soventcen reasons why I cannot accommodato sou just mow.” * Beventeen reasons for not Playing cards! Pray, what are they 2 ** Why, tho firct is, I baven't any money.” - Stop! that's enough; never mind the other sisteon.” An Irishman’s houso caught fire, and his wife, runping to the ncarest available water, caught up a kettle from the hob and was hurrying to the attic, whero the flimes weto alrendy at worl, when ehe was met on the stairs by Pat himeelf. “1x it a fool ye are,” ho cried, **trying to put out a fire with hot water?” One of the Bohemians of the Paris Bourse re~ cently gave o dinuer to some friends at Lis own house, and in the courso of the dessort, by dis- traction, put a spoon in his pocket, whereupou o oldest man prosent waid gravely: My friend, you forget that you are not at's restau- rant.” —The Oregon Legislaturo has passed & law providing that a person losing mouey at gaming shall have the right o recover by law twice tho amounnt of his loss. Under this law, the more a mau loses the more he wins, and such an op- portunity for tho breaking of faro-banks was never ofiered. Napoleon was one day searching for s book in the library at Malmaison, and at last discovered it ona shelf somewhet abovo his reach. Marshal Moncey, who was preseut—one of the tallest men in the srmy—stepped forward, saying, *Permit me, Bire; I am higher than your Majesty.” *‘Youare longer, Marshal,” said the Emparor, with o frown. * liow yon do, Sallie, how you do? I min't secd yon in gich 8 time. How is you no how!” Sullic, grasping the old darkey's corn-stealer and giving it & cordial shake, ** I'so- still a kicking, thauk you, Uncle Tom, but I ain't a kicking bigh. Tow yon Eauing on?” Uncle Tom, de- liberately, *“Well. Balie, I'm atill sticking to- gether—in spots.” A 12-year old boy, pretty well dressed, entercd an office on Jeficrson avenus the dsy before Thanksgiving and bogged for 20 centa. _* Want it to buy a Thanksgiving dinner with 7" asked the proprietor. **Yes," answered the boy. “ What'tl yon get—a chickon?” “No, sir,” re- gllcd the boy very honestly, ** Wo've got a tur- ey, and we want some oysters to stuff it with!” The gentleman pat his wallet back. ¢ Pa,” said Mrs. Spilkins, glancing up from a perusal of the thrilling pages of last year's speeches on the Credit Mobiler, * what does it mean to pui your mouey * where it will do tho most good?' " ¢ Ttilize, my dear, utilize,” re- plicd ber loving spouse, * that's what it means.” * I don't, neither!” scresmed Mrs. S., with tears of roge; "I never told omo in my life, you Heartless wrotch ! and 8Spilking just dodged in time to lst a volumeof * Congressional De- bates” grazo hig os frontis and pass through a front window pane. Mrs. Swisshelm on the Shoe, Question. : Cinderella Largely Responsible for Female Immorality The. Proposed Boarding-House and Indns- trial School for Working Women. Some Objections to the First- Named Project. The Misfortune of Looking Lilke o Married Man, Miscellaneous Items Relative to Fem- ininity. Al Avout Shoes.: To the Editor of T'he Chicayo Tribunc: Bin: Io his remarks bofore the Ladies’ Educa- tional Society tho Rov. Robert Qollyer illustrated gentcel pauperisin by an acecdnto of o decayed gontlewoman who necded alms, but refused a pair of stout ghoos, elthough sho was barofoot. This be used as an argument bgainst siding genteel paupers, espevially decayed gentlowomen. That there is a erying evil against .which be sims this blow, there can ba no doubt ; for often the inso- louce of the dependont portions of socioty is as trying tothe patisuce 88 the aggressions of its dangercus ¢lassos ; and the charity which builds palaces for prisoners and paupers, sud leaves tho hard-working members of thehuman family 1o dwell in hovels, ia & wenk imitation of gehuine benovolenca ; but that o decayed gentlewoman should refuso conrso or clumsy shoes 13 NOT BTIANGE, nor was the motive of hor decision sll vanity, or strictly feminino in its nature. In the summer of 1863, while on a general visit of inspection in o Washington Lospital, o nurse directed me to & man deerned rather dangerous ofapproach. Tomy ollfcrs of assistance ho roplied with sncers and insults. o kuew 2il ebout tho folks who were stealing sanisary stores under pretense of belping soldiers, aud was much too vld 4 bird to bo chught with any of my ehafl. I drew up o chair, sat loisuroly down, o that I could look straight into his eyes, ahd sternly 2slied bim how ho dared talk to me in that man- ner. Me doggedly maintainod thot he had a right to talk as ho pleased ; and I gave him such a lecturo a8 be had not had in a long while ; for 1o must be conquered, or he would probably die ot his wounds. After I hid exorcieed the evil apirit, T left bim in quite & good hamor, greatly tothe jby of the nurse. I saw him agaip, 2 month after, 80 far convalecent that he lsy on tho outside of the bod-caver, dressed; and, to my question if there was anytbhing I could do for him, ho very pleasantly asked for a pair of ehoes, explaining that army shoes and hoepi- tal slippers did not it him. I eaw tho trouble. Ho Lad beausiful feet, was & cavalryman, aud Lad been badly wounded in a charge es desporate 63 that of Dalak 3auy o day and oft he hiad ent on his steed, or galloped furiously into the enmemy’s ranks, glancing down, ever and anon, on those symmetricel feet . in their hand- somo boots, ‘Lo look at them now, in dowdy cloth-slippers, snnoyed him so much as to RETARD IS RECOVERY: beeides, tho elippers did not give to his muscles the customary support, aud ho needed that when be hobbled on his crutches. So I got the meas- ure of those handsome feet, walked a mile through the broilug sun, and brought him a pair of neat leathier-buskina. Thelr perfect fit, and the pleasurs thoy gave, wotld, I felt, insuro his return to the saddle a month earlier than without them. Now, how would it do to assume that =il caro of woundea soldiers is a wezkness, becausc that ono was cross as & bear, v2in s & Woman, b1ave 28 o lion, nnd wanted » pair of pretty sbocs instead of the stout article which Unclo Samuel provided ? Wko is responeible for this human vanity about shoes? Not to go further back into tho originof things, Iot me ask Mr. Collyerif ho over rerd Cluderells, and aided, in any way, In iis circulation? Did Le ever think of the infinenco it bias ou the destinies of hundreds of millions ? Dy it, children, from tha carlicst dawn of reason, are tanght to regard smzli shoes s the external manifestation of all the inward graces. By it, every baby-boy is taught that tho STANDARD OF FENALF, PERFECTION is small feet, or, ratber, the cbility toputon a small shoe. Each lad is fired with ambition to emulato tho Prince in chooing a ledy-lovo with the emallest poesible feet. Lach girl learns that dunty shoes are the fitlo to royal Lride- hood. 'To have large fect is to be cuvious, an- just, batoful, end an old maid; while a No. 1 elipper is the key which unlocke the treasures of the Eust and places its wearer on tho very pin- naclo of human greatuess, Of courae, the poor old gentlewoman who must nceds bave fino shoes was o fimpil of tho Cin- derella echool; and shall wo blame her severely if the golden dreams of her childhocd lingered am!d the 1ron realities of age and want ? Have not all Englieh-roading people been taught to do Lomage beforo that wonderful l bride whose charms wero sung by one of our oldest poets, becauso er feet Leneath ber petticont Tikolittle mice, peeped in and out? How ean Mr. Collyer, or any other man who has acquiesced in this system of education for wwomen, turn in Ecorn upou them for being what they ara? It is o recently that thev havo taken any part in tho creatioh of the literature which ‘molds their character, their influence in educa- tional matters is ro circumscribed to-day, that they caunot rightfully be beld acconntable for bo- ing what theyare. Tho poor Chinese women, who have next to no feet at_ all, are thus crippled to gratify the tastes of Chincso men.—not of tho common herd. but of the authors, philosoplers, and poets among them ; _and, by eimilar agency, our English and Amecrican women gro crippled &;r life, that they may be conformed to the task o THE IDIOT who wrote the romauce of the pnmpkin-shell. Moreover, this shoe-qnestion lies at the founda- tion of the destitution of tho women who are needing aid iv all our cities to-day. A good lenther-shoe, such as would protect & foot in this climate, and large encugh to clotho without crampiug it, will lags any woman of or- dinary habits from one to three years; while the shoes they wear, in imitation of Cinderolla, last ono month on an avernge, so that the money wasted on'shoes would clothe a woman comfort- ably and respectably ; whilothodeetitution caused by this waste is the spiritual death of thousaunds. I'doubt if 2ll the obscene literature published in this country does a8 mucb to fill brothels as that oue fairy tale diligently read in all our nurseries, while its evil influeuce on the health of our women is simply incalculable. s . Except the right to breathe, there is nothing that women so much need as the right to suf- ficient shoe-leather to clothe their feet, and the GOOD SENSE TO WEAR IT. To all the faulte men find with women indi- vidually, or collectively, I have this answer : Sirs, forso long time that tho momory of 'man runneth not back to_the contrary, the souls of women have been in the keeping of male priests, their bodies in that of malo physicians 3 2nd shall the ga:m say unto the clay, Why art thou thus made? JANE GREY BWISSHELAL. Fho Other Side. To the Editor'of The Chicago Trivune : Sin : It has often been shown that, in the his- tory of reform, great good has been done by those who least euspect it, and who have the least inclinetion for so doing. Anothor example of this is found in the much-condemned speaches of Robert Collyer and ML M. Parkhurst at the meeting of the Woman's Industrial Aid Society. That the views of - theso gentlemen were little, narrow-minded, and unworthy of the cloth, no one who heard them will for a moment doubt. DBut they have unconscionsly shown the benevolent ladies who Lave charge of the enterprise what small idens can be cantained in large bodies, and what kind of treatment the Woman's Home will roceive from the world at large. - In our city of 800,000, it would not be surprising if at least one-third the population would taks no differcat viow of | the matter than whatthese gentlemen entertain 80 there would be at loast 100,000 people williag and apxfous to take np the watchword that they havo uttored, and prolong their ory of * POOR-HOUBE." Will it be the best thing that can be done for the working women of this city to bring them to- gether to bo greoted with this ery ? But have the working women's ideas been generally exprossad in rogard to this mattor? 'Ihey wore not generally expressed at the mect~ ing on Thursday evoning; thoy will never bo obtained at's meoting of this kind. I am per- sonally acquainted with women working in half- a-dozen differont businezees in the city. While I beliavo that all of theze women would rejoice at tho cstablishment of an Industrial School, yot not ono out of fitty would be Indaced to ‘Doard at thé institution now . proposed. If there in any doubt about this view of the case, send an onterprising roporter around to the schools, the offices, tho workshops, and the stores, to interviow the working women thers employed, and get thoir viows on this subject. To bring the matter pearer home, would the ladies con- nected with tins schome bo willing to board aé such an institution? Had thoy not rather live under the shadow of their own vine and fig-tree, no matter Low bumble, than board in this 80,000 boarding-house ? And would not the world admire them for go doing? If sucha epirit is to bo applanded in the lawyer, the writer, would it not be well to encourage it in the shop-girl and the printor ? 1t 15 stated that these poor working girlslivo in Darrow streets, up two or three lights of stairs, m little rooms, with bare walls, butthe place, wherever it s, 18 TTOME To THEY, and the woman who supports herself, and makes ber home a little brighter thau thozo around Ler, is an example of tuo benciit of Jabor, and & migeionary to tho neighborbood in which she lives. Do not strivo to make the working woman any weaker than she is, by congiantly bolstering ~ her up. Edneato her till sho 18 strong and self-relinnt cnough to gtand along,—to live up two or three flights of stzirs, if need be, ard, at the same time, mnintain lter scli-respect, and, if needed, beabla to lend a helping binnd to the woman who lives & story above her, or mive s bit of en- couragement to tho girl who lives = story below. It must be borne in mind that not only the women of this, but the women of the next goveration, aro to be considored ; and what en- couragement will tho woman of the noxt genera- tisn Lave to learn a business, if tho woman of this works from early till Jato in order to pay her board in a place thaf the clergy of the city call o “poor-liouss " ? 'Foe individual who attempts o variety of busi- nosses usually feils in oll of tliom ; will not ap association that undertales o manage a board- ing-lionse, intelligence-ofiice, and industrial echiool, be equally unsuccessful 2 To show that, if tho bosrding-Louse part of the project is at tempted, TS IT (TLL NOT DE A SUCCESS, it is only neesssary to point to the Woman's Homo in this aity, only Lali-filled, 2nd to the palaco bonrding-houeo built by Stewart in New York. If it fails, will it not drag down with it the much-needed school ? The great problem of making labor respecta- blo is solved wheu labor is made to pay, If In- bor pays, it must be skilled Inbor. Ttis a pecu- liarity, not only of our sex, but of the other holf of humasity, that what is valued most is what costs tho most. To make woman value in- struction, sbo must pay for it. Then make this boarding-bousg, if thero is to be one, and the scl:ool, separate institations, go that each will stand or fall by its own merite. If such a school a8 pronosed were established, and competeut tenchiers engaged, it would, in & very short time, gain the ood-will of commmnity, and bo filled with prompt-raying pupila,—pupils willing to pay good prices for iustruction. It mughs bo ssid that somo girla wero anxious to leoru who could not pay tuition. Let, then. a committee be appointed to loan, not give, them money; and, when they get in business and able to doBo, let them pay it back. This would bes help that any woman could gccept . WITHOUT LOSING IIER SELF-RESPECT, which sbo would doif she were to receive charity from = public institution. A school of this kind coild be statted on less than a tenth of what it is now proposed to give for & building,—could Lo well eatablished on what it would take to furnish the present build- ing. Jon would Le wiilisg to take stock in an *enterprise that promised to be & good invest- ment from a worldly standpeint, when they would rot be willing to put money in a echeme from which they could bave no carthly hope of ever rogaining it. And such a school wouid be & credit to tho city, n_lasting benefit to the work- ing-women ; wonld do moro to elevato Iabor and taborors than any other one thing could do: would not bo a charitable inetitution, and never could, by any possibility, bo pointed at as & poor- housa. RoTH. The Misfortune oi Looking KLike a Married M. , Max Adeler has a friend pamed Slimmer, who deserves pity. Ho was going up to_ Reading not loug since, and, whon reaching tho depot, he hap- poned to look in the ladies’ room. A woman sat there with a lot of baggage and three children, and when sho gaw Shmmer she rushed toward bim, and, bofore ho could defecnd hlmeelf, she turow her arms about his neck, nestled ler head upon his breast, and burst into tears. Slimmer was amazed, indignant, confounded ; and, ere o could find utterance for Lia feelings, she ex- claimed : 0, Henry, dear Hoory! we are united at last. Are you weil? Is Aunt Marcha still alive? Haven't you longed to see your own Louie And sho looked into Slimmer's face and smiled through her tears. * Madam,” eaid he solemnly, *if Iam the person alluded to as Houry, permit me to say ibat you bave made a mistake. My name is Lemuel, I havono aunt Martts, and I don't own a solitary Louisa. Obligo me by lesting go my cont ; it excites remark.” Then she buried her botnet deeper into his wq‘:}stcamfi. and began to cry harder than ever, and sa0id : 5 0, Henry, how can yon tront moso ? How can you prefend that you sre not my busband 2" Madam,” screamed Slimmer. *¢if you don’t cease slopping my shirt bosom, and remove your nmbrella’ from my corn, Ishall be obliged to call the polico. Let me go, L say.” “Tho children aro here,” ehe persisted. “They recognize their dear father; don't you, children?*” *Yes, yes,” thoy exclaimed, *it’s pa; it's our own dear pa.” And tLen_they grabbed Slimmer by bis trou- sors-iegs and hung to bia coat-ail. “*Woman,” Le shrieked, *this is getting se- rions. Unhand me, I say.” > And he tried to_disengage himeelf from her embrace,—while all tho braiomen, 2nd the bag- gage-masters, and nowsboys, stood around, and said his condnct was infamous. In the midst of the struggle a stranger en- tered with a carpet-bne. He looked exactly like Slimmer—and when he saw hig wife in Slimmer's arms he became excited, and loored Slimmer with that carpet-bag, and sat on_him, end smote his noge. aud caromed on bis head, and asked him what he meant. Slimmer #as removed on & stretcher, and tho enemy went off with his wife and familyina cab. He caled next day to ajolo- gize. Iis wife had made the mistake because of Blimmer's likeness to him. And now Slimmer wishes be may soon_be kicked in tho face by o mule, 8o that ie will resemble no other human being in the world. Practical Joke on a Husband. From the Doston Gazetle. A very fine prectical jolie waa perpetrated on 8 citizon of the South Eud tho other evening, though, unfortunately, it was lacking in origi- nslity. Itsecms tlio handsome head of the house is given to lato bLours, and, nceordivg to Lis &pouse, neglectful of Lis fatlierly relations. So he was read s lesson by medame, which, be says, will Iast bim till—next time. Just as he was go- ing ont to tho club, Wednesday evening, the door-bell rang violently, and presently, no ono opening the door, tho gentlemsn went him- seif. and found in tboe vestibulo a G-weeks-old baby rolled up in an old shawl, and tucked into & besket. He admits that hiv bears sank at the sight, but Le carried the thing in, and anxionsly looked for the inovitablo pager. ' Vyife eppears on the scenc—great ludignation and excitement all round. ho brat must be taken to the station-house—instantlv. It is yours, vou know it is, you inbuman man!” sobs my lady. “It isn't!” asseverates the distrecied husband, though it docs bear a marked resemblanco to its “preserver.” Finally, after hysterics, promises abject and contrite, aud no club that evemug at least, the kitten is les ont of the bag, anditis clearly proven the * foundliug ™ is the legitimato eon and heir, who bas been * bLelping his mamma reform papa.” Miscellaneous Ecriinine Items, It is to bo “underall” instead of ‘*chemi- loon.” A, in his | one ~moon, calls his wifo his saint. B, ten years marri <, sadly echoes, his ain't. The editor ot the Cape Ann ddcertiser says that a clean shirt id one of woman's best gifta to man. A& Sowell's Point (Ma.) man's twonsy-seven dren have eighth marriag Philndelphia girl aro sometim, One of them saye sh anslasts, could kick ik Totta, 0 B BATed i\ Forty per cent of tho school-gi ara named Maria ; balf of oo S a Mariar, and the oilier balf Mari, n Tilinois family lived on pudds for two weeks and theroby maver yind Bilk plume for tho mother's winter hyr- ¥ % 8% 4 There is nothing to be so bj 3 soft, svaot voleo ta Toman. exlgehplgh'e’?zm“" it take in washiog when Liard times cons, LT (0 Mattio Smith, of Chesuncook, horaclf with a peu-kuife beeass Ly Sbbed would not wait for her at the front gaie "8 B4 His nzmo was Wrath, and why girl to marry him, ske gave hln:: l::u“ hed bls and the sofé answer turned away Wany, 25" Tho Now York Aail eays * Liz on aro not necessarily blandess o pded wom, blondes nocesearily light-beaded wompe 2 10 A ohild for adoption, to bo b adverused in & New York nowepapn. "R stated. Such enterpriso ** can go no ey, 2 “And now tell me why you I ) place? T il el o i, e, you have mo w] 1 youba o why you parted with your Tact A DMissourian offers 8150 and {} any giel who il ey . Darmes ot arises, What can any youn, o mules ? 72008 Wy o wils ten Tho papers aro talking abont the ¥n'r‘r'qr. “?’"fs::f d%ugfiliam Rarter, .':}’3., P ‘ndianapolis inel 4% editor's mi dndiaapets 'S miod negdy Whon ono learos that 205,800 pounds bair wero actually sold in Laris 1 bas yeus, Ly 2 5ad and sawdusty sort of Sabara ey does seem. ol A Milwankeo woman's bonnct costs, average, about $15 : bitt sho has the bl me ot for $30 or $40, in ordar to sow it to- gy woman next door. When a man dies andleaves & nice youy, widow with plenty of monoy, and you siepch walking out with tiie exceutor on Sundsy afian 500D, & change is imminent. Kaiser Billy won't let anybody Arnim except his mothor-in-low. Ho fattar himself that he has discovered Something worss than the rack or thumbsorew. + A man had better have s millstone tied to bis neck and be east into tho sea, than fo promisaty matty & girl and then refuze. Tho whols comn. try turns out to hunt him, and bo is genen] Ieft to grow up with tho trecs. ’ A widow who had jusi lost her weeping bitterly for tho dear dm'? fricnd tried to console her. *‘No, no," eaid the fair mourner, ‘‘lot mo have my cryout, Aftes thet I shan’t think anything Bbflatmg.” According to a Cincinnati paper, John' was recontly sued by Hesterpl’gim for mgfimfi promise. ** Jobn Thomas, come into conrt!* chouted the constable. **John Thomas nesdn's come into court me any more,” said Hester primly. Bome of our wealthiost people are feeling 1ard timee keenly, A 18dy gestordar dadinet to pay more than 2175 for & velvet cloak, on ground “ that thoro were o many poor laboring people out of employment and needing the necessaries of life.”—XNew York Mail. Poor, young thing. She fainted sway af wash-tub, nu§ her pretty nose went k:r.-,a'!op i;hk: the soapsuds. Some said it was over-work; others, however, whispercd that bet besy had peepad over the back fence and cslled ot s * Hullo, there Bridget, is Micg Alice st home?" They say now that, when young ladies describa o thing a8 * perfecily beautiful,” they merely imitato William Pitt, who once used the oxpresy sion in & dispatch. This attempt to depriva women of ali claim'to originslity is abominatle; they will say next thst Adam ate the first apla. An Tllinois farmer’s danghter just missed bev ing a beroine. Seeing her fthér's barn on she got a pail of water, ran toward the blaze, —fainted on the wsy. The barn was destrorel, znd her father, ratiog her intentiona by the low standard of her failure, warmed her shoulders with a strap. In ome of the Cape Cod towns, s yomg scholar, the first day ot school, was ‘asked ber name by the teacher, and roplied. Iier fithers name wae the next questiot:, and she did not know his first name. ~ ‘tho tocchor then asied bor, “What does your mocher call him#" “Yoa Jackass!” eaid the cluld. When the Duchess of Edinburg wanta to talk nicoy-nicey o hor boy-baby 21l she Eas tossy, * And was it its own muzzs's blosscd little Albert ‘Alexander Alfred Ernest ~William 2" And then that overburdened infant goes into convulsions that would twist tbe backbone rightoutofs plebeian baby.—Burlington Hakeye. Some men aro born great. A Treasury alork was marmuring gofily . his sleep tha other night : * Eate! Kate!” Eis wife, whose name is nsanneh, soon woka him up by a cross-esan- instion which would astonieh the_safe-burglars. Oh! nover mind, Susan,” he mildly exclalned. & "I'wasn't & woman, It was only the Syndicsie I was talking about.” . Among the guests zt 2 hotel dinnar-table in this city yesterdoy were 2 husbend cad wife froo Towa. ‘The husbing was & barly, big fellow, aud the wifo pate and slim. When a_waiter came to tao their order the man replied : * Ob, briog me mott anything, but my mife's health is rather poor, and i'd like it if yoa could bring hor some masted 'taters aud s biled aig!"—Delroit Kred Press. A man in Michigan procured & divorco from bis wife, uteading to marry angther woman. ‘The latter, however, got tired waiting and mare 1ied another man on the dsy the divorce was granted. Then the follow hesitated whotherer 50: to ¢y 0 make it up ith hia wifo agau, ad while hie was L ting bis wife marrie :nfl:-'l— er fellow. This is whac woald paturally ko calied Retting loft all round. An erring husband, who had cxhaasted llet- p'lnunuonsgfor Jate hosy, end had no ’ffl"“{ reedy, rocently slipped into the Louso baut o'clock secy sofsly, donuded bimeelf geutly Dbegan rucking ho cradie by tho bedsidoasil ¢ hiad been awakened out of a soutid sloapby i fautile crics, He had rocked awzy for o min- utes, whon 3lary Jane, who had silently ob the whole manueuvre, suid: *Como to ou fool! tho baby ain't thoro.” - AN OFFZRING. Just congratulated hin o ™ Tndizg, bemselvey o follossing linea wero suggested froma fhe dt crbnanon of Ui iad to whom hey,are dedicitel e ceiving, soon after tao déath of her mother, !.h- qfit}' o a lovely white Cross cuwreathed with besntifal ers.] B - 70 MRS, PIEDE K. STRATP, NTSKEOOS, I Ceaso thy sorrow, alster dearl 0 louk up and dry tiie tear] Tuine may holiest comfort La: Vicw the Croes that beams for thos= Ewblom of the Love Disites ‘Blooming beauties ‘round it twingy Brveotest solace to impart To thy wounded, bruken b Bister, stay the tide of woe! Hear, in whispers eoft and 1o, “ Tidne is nov o breken ez She has ohiy gouo on Ligh! Now no longer tempest-toseed; She lus joiued herloved and lost, Sufe zemoved from pain and ety 1o tholand eternal, fair. Sister, O Lehold the Cress| Jeaus kindly shares tly loss: Enow ¢ can thy sorzovs feel,— o who oniy wounds to eal. Closgly to His promise cling,— Tendcr heallug it will Lriug? Stricken soul, thy pangs of Allmay find » stire reiicf. Eister, thy fond mother, dear, Fain would wipe thy {{ung teard Cherisled o thy | l;;amux cbave, 1s ber warm, andying love; And, when drawa sieet Leiv'n aalgh “Thols may'st feel the gulden tla: Jloly comfort, make it thine, ‘Beaming through this gift divine. Cmaigo. P A STk e Eagy et A Remedy for Nouralzid ‘A remedy named *aqua pazctore” hs!,‘;‘l';'_‘ introduced In Frauce for the treatmont Of 70 ralgis. It may be describod oy n forcetl which can bo carried about and placed on o with a small flexible tube about 2 feeb &r.,- constructed aa to deliver a throed of Wt tber. its extremity with such force astopiered T, In operating on a patient afficted with D¢ e i tho piston is worked a few timnes to oxpt‘!l bl from the tube ; the point is thou held s%05 1y an inch fror the painful spot, the pump s ed, and the thread of w]atur plx::‘ c;nn Presently a white vesicle appe: of where t{m water strikes; and any pOmES puncturen may bo mod ot the discretion % 1o operator and in proportion to the exteat tes pein. At first the skin around the ¥eSiCl ey comes red ; but after a fow hours the YET and the redness disappear, loaving Galy :‘” v bleck point, which is the erust formcdbfm i ing of adrop of blocd in tho Sxmcmihl; celief operation is described as painful; but o el it produces is so great that patients dw‘c e for a repetition Whenover thoir ‘neuralgi return,