Chicago Daily Tribune Newspaper, February 22, 1874, Page 11

c—'——-——__ == POPPING THE QUESTION. f7hy the Privilege In Considered Man's Prerogative. he Results of the Que-Siled System— Fan Proposes, but Tieman Eisposes. An Argument for Equality. fThe mythical first man and first woman wers spared the usval preliminaries of matrimony. There was reither the difficulty of makinga wise choice mor the pain of arefusal for Mr. Adam and Mrs. Adam that was to be did not sit sivein Paradise, awaiting the *pop” with tremulons anxiety, nor was she compelled to lay herself out on claborste leaf-drapery to catch a husosnd. 8o, in the beginning of things, it peems, the marriage-contract was a more fair and equal sdjustinent than the ONE-SIDED BYSTEM gince sdopted. Ono woman, st least, had the odds on her side in this world; but, as eoon as esar there was sven a Hobson's choice for the sons of Adam, we find tho Leahs left out in the cold; and, to this day, many as besutiful and esd-eyed women' havo hidden & life-long beart- punger bepeath an indifferent. or cymical ex- torior, and_knelt humbly before some sbrino which held the image of one who passed them wmnoticed by, and whom they knew was their poul’s mate, but dared make no sign. In their purity snd noble intent they veiled themselves ; while other women *‘set their caps™ and caught thonoble sonl, who proved theroby wedlock & gmare and women sirens, 2nd boro his fate a8 \wantally a8 circamatances would atlow. The psramount rezson why man arrogates to himself the prerogative of * popping the ques- tion,” i8 'WHOLLY THE PECUNIARY ONE, We aro told that etiquetts requires that the money-quastion should be quietly kept in the background, notwithstanding it is con- tingally in the foreground of the mntual thonght. The right of manto *“pop the ques- tion™ falls to him by 7resson of the pecupiary responsibility to which he sob- jects humself by taking io himself a wifo. A woman may lawfully use all her arts and wiles, and employ all her cojuettish Jower, to bring about the *popping;” but she sy never “ pop” berself. This pecuniary rea- son is thus set down by people iu general as de- ciding the privilego, and forever. hushing the egitation of any questlonsable suggestions upon the justice of the mattor. Bat, in thews latter asys, when marriage i8 becoming an intricate maze, made up of exveriecces, and unmade by incompatibilities, it is the fachion of & few icon- T oclasts to poke their noses into this, 38 well as other gocial Tazes, or messes, we might more properly eay, and smell out what is the causo of the corruption that rises fonl to heavew, and ask, What is going to be done abont it?" The inequality of the sexes is stamped a8 erm- phatically in regard to * popping the question” ‘s in casting the vote; and the mouey-reason which is urged for this one-sidedness is the very subject which FIRST NEEDS THE ATTENXTION of the strong-minded noses. Women universally 110 beggars, although they may never beg the Band of an sdmired gentleman. 85 long as they eontinme to be begears, thoy must accept the Band of the first man, or the richest man, who never noeds to beg anything saves fawr band. When women become gelf-supporting and inde- pendent, and are free torefuse, if not to choose, there will be less business for divorce-manufac- turers. There is no alternative for tnese omen-beggars but marrisge, sud all surpins energy is devoted religionsly to securing s huu- Dband, by fair means or foul. Into the wiles the firat msn that is drawn is scized upon: there i danger in standing upon any ground of partica- larity. Be he s roue or a religionist matters but little; be ho rich AATTERS EVERYTHING. The rich man has about as nnsafe & prospect in this world as in kingdom-come. He can bardly enter Heavon with money-bags; be can hardly escape matrimony with them. Rich men, however, are thus speedily disposed of. They are the first game bagged. Thon come the rising yonng men; and mammas exert extraordinary maneavering tactics to decoy this class, eud they are soon done for. They have been **pop- ped,” in spite of their * popping " prerogative. Now, this is all very well for tho weaker half of humavity so far. ‘The odds would rather op- péar to be in their favor. They get husbands, 2rd moy-be get the ones they desiro; bu this is by no menns certain. At all events, the social jangle gezerally grows out of this sort of mar- Tiages. Tactitionary backers do not, however, rurronnd the majority of women. Proportion- ate effort is made individually sccording to the potency of the “‘ poppes; " but thereare many Women who cannot consent to ** set their caps,” and who * bide a wee ” in modest hope. BUT ALTOGETHER VAIN that merit will win against maveuvering, and their soul's mate go a-seeking its kindred Apirit, solong a8 it cannot go a-seeking him. Rarely, once or twice in & generation maybe, 8 woman s the money-power, and, like Browning's “Geneieve,” woos, and wins, and #', tho man the loves and prefers above all others. But the beagatly lot Aare mot do o untoward a thing. ‘What matters a broken heart or &0, provided con- ventional etiquette is preserved immaculate ? Men reason, women feel, is the assertion we bear continually made; aud the truth of this as- sertion is urged againet a woman’s ability to decide in matters that pertain to her welfare. As Love has mot yet been reduced to s ecience (ve confidently expect that the time is comin; when it will be, however) ; 88 it is an emotional qulity altogether,—why should not the feeling Luve the prodominance_ovor tho reasoning in this attor of marriage? If woman is intuitive, 4 vhyehould ehe not be ALLOWED TO ACT UPOX INTUITION ? Bhe often secs in men qualities peculiarly at- tractive to her. She feels that these qualities aro the very ones that would insure her Lappi- Dess. She studies character closcly. Such ‘Women are tha Jast ones in the world to over- #ep conventional custom. They may not care for Mrs. Grundy, but they do care for the man of their choico. and know men well enough foba assured that even the wise, good men they Tecopnize as mates would ecorn them aid they dare declare such recogaition. The best of men bold highly the privilege of ** popping the ques- . ton;""and the womanly woman withdraws into ber whell of reserve prescribed by custom, ushes feeling, accepts the hand of the man *h0 prefers hor, and gives him her hand, sod *hils her heart enehrines a blissfal dresm she Dot dare make a realization. Theery of Fon MARKIED, NOT MATED, i ringing to-dav through the length and bresdth of theland. Wkat if women sbould set about 00elng their matew, and 20 if things would b any’better? When domestic difficulties 1% brewed, who generally receives the blame? 418 yoo, 0'Woman, to whom t.e preacher zad tescher appesls to translate jaugliog into Belody, You must be more amiable ; you must mors thig, that, and the other, to make home ;guvam The din_of these -Fpem nearly ites her to dietraction. She exclaims, Here is ¢ Wother one-sided businees, only on the other sotlus time, She may or mey mot know just % Yhat's the matter that she cannot, do whst Ehe by beavenly music out of the married "8, Itmattersnot; musicis expected, and ¢i3t0 extract it. It proves s blurred score; ® keynote was sounded wrong, and the dis- ! oy onre continually recurring. If ll this mel- % H!':n;:zed depends upun the woman, then, in b 'e:i- s pame let her ot the right kosnoto to gin 'WOMAN DISPOSES, o ¢ Pmgh man propoass, On her does rest the i oimonyof fhe home. It may be, could she ® her mate, that there would be a con- e ping in her nest continually, albeit by o Crowded with fiecglings who depended on e mgemxa and denied her the delights of wiMede world, in placo of this continous Woqyo! Reanneis which Labydom _elicits. WL 1, 3 the dizposer in the houschold, after g T We must look to regulase this infe- iz lifg w‘_aea that is the reproach of domes- w24k proachers must take & now text from inculeate barmony. Cry aloud and to b FS® 20t {0 mothers to educate ‘their daugh- v g Betan gp (CAL BUSTNESS, bugpyn gy, cogquettish srts to catch Zakg o 10, 20 them to eelf-reliznce; to toblg g SEl-20pporting, and pive them such | nligags o that tiley can ve'l mait, and to Wait, for the cowdng of the lin- PacTI Piactiomg dred epirit,—filling their days with usefulness | and their portemonnaies with gre: backs, — bide the ndvent of tho trus mate.. A yorc sy thus be able to wed a good m though he bo poor (and tho name of thoso is legion); she may help bim buid the Bome-nest, and 50 make t Joyons home-place th; singng sball bo therein Toarg, 2" mothing but 'overty is never so bitter a curse as Keops & lover from Lis boloved, aud toamey i 2 bomeless worker in the weary, every-day :‘on'r!g;‘ g:l;rnnge 18 t0o often a mistake, but no- Sk ymn A JOCH WORSE oxz. t g women be taught to simplify the mothods of life, avd become =eu!:4up'pun- ing, and theroby save thousands of young men who cannot mow afford to marry from the migerablo domoralization ihat befalls almost inevitably tho *not-marry- ing man.” * Popping tho quostion™ is aesum- ing a more than usually serious phase in these days of claboration and reckloes oxtravagance. Men dare not take the responsibilities of mar. riage without & fortune, large or small ; and many womeu are to-daylosing the chanco of {nlfilling the high mission of wifo and mother through the folliea of the massor uneducated parssites who have mever been taught that to put their own shoulder to the wheel of fortuno 18 better than to hang a helpless burden upon a struggling man's shoulder. ~ Girls must be prop- erly edacated for » lLife-work, befors life can mean snccess, usefulness, and pleasnre to them. In the far-off good-time- :in!:x;:g ;a; wumnné wue'in she mLs secared otber ights she is now demanding, she ma; 58t tho right to bo = N i & A TRUE NELPMEET : the right to claim for her labor of love such money-compensation 18 will iusure to her the riviloge of being something more to the hus- and than sbo is Jto-day, co-worker, his counselor, his partner iu the business of home- life, his earnest helper, his best friend and com- panion. Perhaps, in that far-off time, she may possess the privilego of * popping the question.” She may proudiy ask the man she loves to unite his destinies with hers. If some wise, good man, poor perhaps, crosses her path, and shé Zeels, Hero is the man who Can make of life & gracions hentson, she may go frankly and unapashod to him and say, * I respect you, sir, and I admire you. My regard is based upon your mml{ characteristics and your_intellectual worth. Ilove you. Iam convinced Ican make you happy. WILL TOU LET ME TRY ? " A woman'a moral consciousness and integrity aro ber strongholds now, and are duly recog- nized. If shio commts 'herolf to & promise, she consciontiously performs that promise ; and the man who would scorn such a proposal as this from ber lips would be silly and uuwortny of the love she proffers. Better he sty yes, thankfully ; for he msy be sure she will mever give over the “trying.” The importanco of the sacred trust she Las assumed will never be lost sight of. All this one-sided inequality in the relative condition of the sexes is a wrong that the world is waking up to. It hes been walang up slowly for centuries. Time was when women must not sit ot tablo with men. Btep by step they climb into recognition of their rights, znd claim them. Never, in_the history of the world, was the clamor louder than to-day. Injustice is the cry : LET C8 BUT HAVE JUSTICE. We are ftired of gallantry; we want liberty. Wo are individuals; let oar individuslity be respocted. A woman has as much right to- say whom she shall love 13 to love at ll; has the same right to say, I love you, a8 she has to feel the influence of that great, comprohen- sive law. A man shonld have the same priv- ileges, on the other hand, 28 women posacss to~ dny,—those of making himself &s fair in my Indy's eyea ss ho will, and of saying No em- ‘phatically, if he does not return her love. On ! 1f candor did but rale, instead of cunning, in the marriage-contract, what on infinite amount of misery would be banished’ from ita conditions! Perfect equality alone will msure perfect freedom. Frankness should be the foundation of the structure that is reared for all time. Mutusl frankness and mutual fonds will rivet permanent partnerships. Put monay in thy purse, O Woman, and “ POP THE QUESTION” IF YOU WILL, and let us 800 what we shall sce. Royalty can do this now. A Queen_ may propose, and lose none of her digity. Here th balance of bene- fit is on tho side of the woman, and the invita- tion to the placo of high rank is ber prerogative. 1f a lover should sue for ber hand, ho'would be sccused of mercanary motives. Hasten tho time when all womon shall be Quecns truly, and the balance of benefit be 6o equally zdjusted that mercenary motives sball sink out of sight, and the ideal marrisge be the common rezlization. ° Murien. PR ——— HIBERNAL IMPATIENCE. 0 1aggard year, that Insts o long, When will thy leaden pinions riss, And thou break Iuto heaving skies, And bo a disimprisoned soag 7 0 burst into the heaving Spring And roll zway theso cold, dark days; Inspire Zolian notes of Praise, That long to thaw » frozen wing. Tnon, too, art part of Naturd's truth, And in by mystery thouart good ; Yot roll frem over field and fiood, And bring us Spring's eternal you 1 long for April's sweet sublime, When Earth recalls the bowers of Eve, And Angels in tho night shall weave Thr, daintiest filagree of Time. When all tho world shall answer God, In living greenuess to the ey, Beneath an intorflashing sky, And oer a daisy-quickened sod. When fragrant comes Creation’s breath, ‘Aud Nature is a chorsl muto; Life wekee—and pulses fiash and shoot— In Resurrection out of Death. . —Chambers’ Journal. _ Prosper Merimce’s ¢ Letters & Une Inconnue.’? _Paris Correspondence of the New York Herald. This is the scnsational book of the hour, and has all the interest of a first-rate novel and the importance of historical memoirs. Prosper Merimee was born in 1803, and died in 1870.- He became at an oarly age secretary to a Cabinet Munister, traveled much, learned much, achieved distinction ss anovelist and archologist, was elected to the Academie Francaiso in 1844, creat- ed an Imperial Senator in 1853, and passed the last seventeen vears of his life in the close intimacy of Napoleon II's Court. He was knowa by his writings to be a man of great talent; but his cold, polished manners and garcastio conversation led to the belief that Le was a cynic, and the publication of thess posthumous lesters, which reveal him as a man of warm heart and exquisite scnsibility, has there- fore created general surprise. The book com- prises a series of letters witten from the year 1836 down to the very day of Merimee's deatb— that is, during the period of thirty-four years— to » lady with whom Merimeo was in love. The ‘Inconnue’s” namo is not given, but she is known to bothe daughter of &n English Peer, and to bave been in her youth cxupmalg besutifal. Merimeo first met her in Paris an fell in love with her at first sight. Not beings “marrying man,” however, 53 he bimself ro peatedly tells s, his affection was not & sort which - tho *Inconnue” could accept ns a licn upon ber whole life. Itwas st tirst & polite flirtation, but gradually Merimee got wholly enthralled by the periections of the lady, and wouid have so far done violence to na- ture us to propose marriago to her had ehe not, unfortunately for aim, married fome one elie just & ho was makiug up his mind to take this desperalo leap. A strong sud pure platonic friendship then commenced between thom, and continned upabated till Merimoo's dosth. It wes 8 Triendship almost t0o perfect for these un- romantictimes. The pair sew little of esch other, but thoy kept up an unbroken correspond- ence, acd Merimee's lotters, dated from all paris of the Continont—Paris, Canbes, En- gland, Germany. Italy, Egypt—constitute the most wonderful literary homage _ ever paid by an adorer to the woman of his heart. They zre not love-letters—in the maudlin, Iacka- duisical senve of that term. They are records of everything Mermee said, did, and hwudoud Gesctiptions of travel, enecdutes of court, soci =candals, political impressions, literary chit- r.bac—;l’f these things abound in them; and the peries makes up a chronicle of the seczet history of France during tho past thirty yesrs such 83 may well be compared with the famous Ale- moira of St. Simon " in the last centary. Amoeri- fana who would wish to learn what soit of a man was Napoieon IL in the intimacy of private friend-hip, Liow the Empress Engenio tallied among ber friends, aud what sort of people truly were the duferent big_people of fhe Second Empirs will find informstion on I;u fhese points in this amusing book. Thkei I conmue " as Lecn freely blamed for makiog tho letters public, aod, consideriug what graphic pen shotehes Merimee has made of many personsges “ho are still aliv and how trathfully he axposes c e a fair look &E:;Ezg:é, it may be doubtc{l ;hfiéfi: ]:-’:;d;; Izixl; counae " would not have acte i publication for another ten years g:f::.nng:]l;eweu the book mught hove lost some of tho keen preseut intercat which it Las now. THE CHICAGO DAILY TRIBUNE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY ) 1 THE LABORER'S HIRE. Something More than Money-Payment Duo to the Zealons Worker. The Wages of Gratitude for the Gift of Endeavor. To the Editor of The Chleago Tribune: Sim: That the laborer is worthy of his hire in money, no one disputes. If you agree to give a man so much, snd he does the work for which you have contracted, you generally pay his bill without too much demur. Bat there is more than; the mere money-payment of which the laborer is worthy, and that is RECOGNITION OF HIS DESIRE TO DO WELL,— thanks for the good-will with which Lo has worked,—thoe wages of gratitude for the gift of endeavor. And theso are just the wagea which sre soldom, if ever, paid. Yot it is amaz- ing -what hesrt a little praise, bom of human kivdness, pnts into s men's work! 1tis like a soul to the body,—like life breathed into brute matter. It warms the work- er as nothing elss can, and makes heavy burdens light and thorny paths casy. Unfortunately, praise is not so frequentas blame. Peoplo will attack and abuse vigorously enongh, but they will not commend an effort ; 2and, whilo they let nothing pass that displeases them, live asif dead and dumb to all that ought to win regard. Every manifestation of virtne is to them only what wo have to expect from all men, and doing one's dutyis a matter of course, and not to be commended, because of course. Servico, though the most loving, is a thing bought end paid for; and when you, their servitor, have performed your part of the contract, thoy have met it with theirs. You have no more fo say. Any extia percentage of gratitude does not enter into their calculations ; and 1T WAS ONLY EI8 DUTT " itation to all they might be supposed to Now, I contend that all service done with zeal and heart ought to be repaid with gratitude and recognition, extra the money-wagzs; aud that D0 servico is too small, and no_server too mean, to be &0 repaid, given the conditions. ‘ho spirit in which o thing is donc enters into and trausforms the most nsignificant act; and the very shopman who measures off a yard of ribbon can make his obligatory work & personal kindnesa by the pains he takes to please, and tho wish he haa to treat you well. Another man, who just does what he ia obliged to do, and no more, is like one of those sinners who keop a_promise to the earand break it to the hope,—who abey tho letter of the Command- monts and disobsy the spirit of the Gospel. You have nothing to bring against him, but you know that his service is grudgingly rendered, and that he is only solicitous to tho least he may. Youeryquits with bim when you lay down your money, and you feel that you have paid him ALL YOU OWE,— your bargain having boen s material affair throughout,—a grudging one. Having found by experience that no extra en- deavor escures even 8o much as a fainy recog- nition, the man to whom praise is dear steols himself against what he has learnt to call the weaknoss of giving himself troublo for any- body, and henceforth resolves to give tho leasi and exact the most within his power. Wrong is always reflex, and no fault can be committed which has not ita offapring and exaggerated result. Recognition of endoavor is the most potent of all the influences which the superior can ex- erciso over the inferior. Desire of praise is stronger than dread of blame in healthy minds, and love isan _active and living _power, whers foars ure only negative and represaive. Children will do moro, and forbesr more, to be caressed and _spplauded for thieir good bobavior, thun they will' for fear they may bo punished and scolded for thoir bad. Tho spprobation. the love, the caresses, of the foreuts, ronse all that is bost in them; their carts are warmed, their consciences sctisfied, their ambition fulfilled : while constant reproof, if 1t does not break their spint, tonds to barden and make them rebellious and dofying,—Naturo giving the instinct of resistance a3 woll as the impulse of obedience. Of conrso there must bo reproof and punishment, too, at times; but & {roe use of GENEROUS RECOGNIIION, and a8 much caro taken that no eudesvor to do night sball pass unrewarded, ns that no wrong- doing ehall pass unzebuked, will do more to se- Careboth lisppiness and virtuo than any other means we know of. Hov well one can read the signs of & house- bold that is ruled by love, snd kept up to the mark by recognition and encouragement ! Thero is moral oxygen, epiritual sunshine, in the wholo atmosphero ; and souls nre stimulated, not re- pressed,—heartenod up, and not hoanded down. The cbildren are free and unconatrained, and do- void of that craven terror so painful to sce in tho weaker; tho sorvants movo easily, spesk naturally, and look as if they are at home,—that i, in & place where they aro loved, madomuchof, and the good that is in thom recognized. Thers ia no sense of ropression in such a house,—all of encouragement; and tho vice of fault-find- ing for its own sake is not known. _Every one Dbas room to grow, power to expand ; and this careful mixture of the good and tho noble of it- selt atrophiea evil tendencios, as the vigorous growth of forest-trees chokes out forever the ornicious weeds which in the beginning might L’lve choked them. Almost all the best things in lifo have been done by LOVE EXTBA TO LAW ; put it will bs n profitable roturn if we recsive no more f{han tho bare money-payment for the grace wo ourselves give beyond the strict covenant. Grant that we are but unprofitable servants at the best ; still, the endeavor to reduce the gross amount of any unprofitablencss counts ‘some- thing in our favor, and deserves to be scored to the good for us. Bat some poople aro mo_des- porately afraid of spoiling those wha work for them, they keep off all commendation 2sa weak- ness, a danger, if not o sin. They think that overy word of praise will be used against thom as & basis for exacting better terms; and, the lower they can beat you down in your own self-estcem, the more good thay imagino themselves to be. “They maintain that praiso makes people presumptuous and conceited, and they make no distinction between_injudicious flatiory—praise given whero there has been no effort, consequontly no merit—and that appro- bation which is the hearty recognition of a desire todo well. These people, therefare, GET ONLY WHAT THEY BABGAIN FOE; the strict letter of the law is kept, but no wide interpretation _given beyond; the stipu- el g done; - the hours sgreed on sre honestly employed; but of il those little extra touches which give that value which love alone can give to work, there is not one; and, if another half-hour wounld render perfect what is now only paseable, it is not ven. g‘wn; should they, tho workers, toil bevond their terms of tholr covenant,—they think,— whon no effort will bo recognized, and =il oxtra will be taken as 80 much due and in the bond? Human natare has nood of praise_and love, It mny be & weakness, andtho itern Roman prin plo of duty-doing for_duty's eake is a superior State of things; but it is not common. Per- haps it ought to be; but we have to deal with the warld a8 we find it, and make tho best of the malerial at hand ; and it strikes me that the severity which torbears to praise a man for doing his daty, or a trifle boyamf 18 'LESS WISE AND LESS HUMANE than the Christian grace which commends the profitable servant with effasion, and beatifies Tmore than ono pbase of well-doing. _ "The fact is, this question of praise or silence toward good-endeavor is one of tho thousand mavifestations of selfishness or unselfishnees, Seolfish folikk think you mnever do emough for them, whatever it may be ; it_is_only your duty uxdu:heix due ; do we thaak the baker, when we buy bus bread, because ho has beked it properly, or the shoeblack when he rubs our boots intoa shine? Why then you, thongh youm have put Sour heact into tho work, and wronght with zeal 3o well as with mora legal houesty? An! but this policy is » bad one! No man works so well under this kind of gradeing reserve as when he is met with 8 more generous nspreguuoq. and s very large percentsge indeed will give sn sbundance of extra endeavor if they are but warmed and stimulsted by the_ praise that is by recognition. And what is true in the mero out- sida life is eminently 8o of THE BOME. o %nst smount of happiness can bs givon and un- A st amout of applaces can b ghvn o undbrstandand scknowledge when endeavors are Tmede to please, to contest, to satisfy. To take everything for granted, and to give no_acknowl- edgoment becanse feeling mo oblization, when efforts are made to plesse, to content, to eatisfy; to take everything for granted, and to give no acknowledgment because feeling no_obligation, when efforts are made to render service flyon_& the law and set things square for our benefit, is o cut'off_one of the main sources of home-hap- piness. It is like shutting out thesun from the green-house, and then wondering why the plants do not flourish. AND IT COSTS 60 LITTLE! The kind word, the spproving smile, the gracious criticzsms, evideuce at least that things are not lost on tho attention. Love lightens the life 2a nothing elro can. z I believe that half of the households in our country mav be made smiling,remembering that work to please desorves to be paid with praire. HENRY BRUSKEVITZ. CLERKS AND EMPLOYERS. To the Editor of Tha Chicago Tribune . Bm: The relations sustained by clorks to their employers are a source of many troubles, and occasion uppleasant thoughts, and often- times result in mutual and reciprocal hatred. In many dopartmonts of busincss the compenaa- tion allowed to clerks is 80 emall that the sons of wealthy men have & MONOPOLY OF THE PLACES. which operates unfavorably in two ways: it drives awvsy a largo and meritorious class of yousg men, while it introduces another, who, from the very naturo of the case, cannot take 80 active an intercst as those whom want.and necossity urge forward. The influence of these rich clerks in situations where littlo or no compensation is allowed is very pernicious in induciog habits of extravagance, inattention to ‘business, and of substituting the swell manners and flash appearance of the rouo for the gentle- manly bearing and manly dignity of the good citizen. In branches of trade where a com- pensation is allowed, it i8 gencrally too smalt Tor the interests of both parties. ENLIGHTENED SELFISHNESS would seem to dictate a reform in this matter, We are proverbial forour thrift, aod have a char- acter for knowing what inveatments will produce the bost dividends; and I submit, whether an investment ip the shape of increased salaries would not exhibit aslarge returns as any stock known to the Boerd of Brokers. Let avy of our Chicago merchants roflact how 1arge a portion of tho_details of his busiucss is in the liands of clerks, and how powerful an sgency they exert in his affairs,—how often heis the victim of their negligence, incompetency, or dishonesty,—and be will perceive the great ne- cassity for care in the scloction ; and may wenot hope a careful investization of the subject will leaa him most cheerfully to pay AMPLE REMUNERATION for sorvices rendered ? For a poorly-paid, dis- pirited clerk is not 0 veluable as ona_who akes 2o active interest mn his employer's affairs, and goes to his business in caruest. A boy whose existenco is an experiment, show- ing the lowest point at which body and soul can bo prevented from dissolving their painful con- nection, is ag far from being the living intelli- ence hoe was created for, as aro the jaded and roken-spirited animals we seo carted about in caravaa-cages below their brethren of the bound- less forest. It will always be found the trueat policy to practice the inspired -precept, * The aboror i worthy of his hire." Thero s a etrange IWANT OF CONFIDENCE exhibited in the intercourse between merchants and their clerks. oo frequently their conver- sution resembles what may bo fermed cross- esamination. Confidence begets confidence. No merchant of our large city, who possesses the Ieast_spark of learniug and talent, is above learning many importaut points of intolligence, respecting both men and business, from his youngmen. Each of the parties movoina dif- Terent circle ; and the clerk, from the pature of his companions, Las meny opportunities of ob- taining valuable information equal to that which his master enjoys. What would be said of an officer or military commander, and what would be his success and fate, did bo not avail himself of nll the talent and diversity of chzracter in_his*subordinate officers? And should a merchant loge all the advantages to bo oltained from an active exer- ciss of all the taleats aud moans of information his clorks possess ? Anothor ovil, which is more provalent than tormerly, is TIE FALSE HOPES often held out to young men to induce a sacri- fice of present good upon the promise of future advaucement,—an advancement which is always future and- ideal. What greater crime can be committed against society than to coolly cal- culate how far one can speculate upon the ris- ingEoges of 8 young man, by basely bLoldin before Lim & delusion, which, when exposcd, wil send him forth to the world a disappointed man, the victim of gonorous ennfidence, of human cupidity, and the foulest wrongs. \What 18 life worth when houor is gono? _Aud who shall ro— pair the ruin to that mind, cheated of its fond- est prospects, snd allured to_sacrifice its time in vainly chasing & bubble, which bursts ere tho hand could grasp its emptiness? Let no young man for one moment imagine, howover, that, becauso his manhood i8 not acknowledged, and his better natmre and nobler impulses are not thus lp‘pcnlcd to, there is, on his part, soy relax- ation of tho IIGHEST MORAL OBLIGATION to do everything in his power to advance the in- terest of Lus employer. No neglect-or remiss- ness of the employer can obliterate lus claims to all the ability and force of charscter posecsaed by the young mag. ig duty is none the less plain because bis lifo and enjoyments form no portion of the thoughts, and cngago no atten- tion of the man who claims his timo and talents. Two wrongs wil not make one right. And the young man whose daily actions and every movement are rogulated by any such narrow and groveling standard fails in the duty he owea to another and to himself. Should nogligenco and beedlessness become a habit, the injury to the employer is_transient and temporary; while the evils of which thoy aro the prolific parents will follow their unforta- nate victim through life, and provo s curse, from whose withering influence he will never be dis- enthralled. The lessons of the past, and the united voicos of reason and revelation, urge the young man forward to lus duty in every relation of life. By the constant excrcise of fidelity, he will BISE SUPLRIOR TO TIE OSTACLES which geem to arrest his pm§reas; and, by serv- mg others, bo will confer Inating benefit upon himself. Enlightened self-interest will press him onward in the path which duty and obliga- tion mark out, and he will show the world, snd experienco himself, the wisdom which dictated to & son the wise counsel : Tothine own self be true; And it must follow, a6 the night the day, Thou canst ot then b false to any man. C.J.B. . ——— Some of Bismarck’s Maxims, Taken from Kis Parliamentary Speeches. When pushed to extremes, I prefer my shirt to my coat.—Jan. 22, 1864. A question of right can bo sottled only with il;;f:yonab in our European quarrels.—Jan. 22, Parties and castes are mutable—they perish, and new ones arise.—Jan. 22, 1864, The Eings of Prussia have never been pre- cminently the Kings of the rich.—Feb. 15, 1865. ‘Whoover makes the most promises is apt to carmy t}m ulec(;mn.fiune, 1, 1865. i clazses do a little smuggling, especi: e women.—June 1, 1865, o el A great country cannot be governed by parti- sans.—Jan. 15, 1857, Put Germany into the saddle and you will find that ehe knovwe how to ride.—23fareh 11, 1857. Governments are like womon—tho youngest please the most.—Dec. 9, 1868. Itis not possible to hasten the ripening of gns:;’t by holding & lamp underneath.—April 16, mc;;fiuflp lization is tyranny, more or less.—April ‘Whoever carries the money-bag is the le's ‘master.—April 26, 1869. iliad ik Every country knows that peace and security reat in the sword.—May 22, 1869, Liberty is & luxury which not every one can afford.—AMay 22, 1869, People are a great deal more lavish when they pay out of & common {reasury than when they pay out of their own pockets.—Jan. 2, 1871. Feeding at Washington Partics. Tashington Correspondence of the Independent, At 12 o'clock the doors of the supper-room are opened, and then the jam beg description. You msy take your choice, to bo pushed or to push, and in either case toses plates of oysters, salads, and creams, with threstening spoons snd forks, bristling through mid-air, glaucing by your nose, or swimming down your back. I was never suro that we were mot a_civilized people £ill T contemplated my compatriots in the Wash- ington supper room of s ‘festive occasion.” There I bave seen dignitaries whom the public believa to havo onough to eat at home puhiny toward a supper-table as & csnnibz] might to his feas:; and ladies ronowned as ** delicate,” with piled-up plates of pickles, salads, fruits, and creams, cramming at arate that would make _perfecily healthy woman sick abed fora week. A QUEEN'S ABVENTURE. Prom Lippincott's Hagasina, One rainy evening toward tho close of April, 1791, » ponderous old traveling coach toiled wearily up the hill the summit of which is crowned by the ancient town of Jougne, on tho 08d betweon Lons-les-Snalniers and Besancon, the capital of the Province of Francho-Comte. There wore two women in the vehiclo; one, tall, bandsome, and exceedingly elegant, occupied the seat facing the horses ; tho oiher, who sat op- ‘posite to her, was a young person of sprightly countenance, whoso simple costume and deferen- tisl manner at once announcod her to be either a waiting-maid or a dame de compagnie. From time to time one or the other of the two travelors would thruat her head out of the carriago window to urge on the postilion or look back down the road, apparently to ses WHETHER ANY ONE WERE FOLLOWING. Notwithstanding the ontreaties of the ladies, and his own best endeavors, Maitre Jacques, the postilion, failed miserably in his attempts to in- duce his two heavy Flemish horses to get into a trot, let alone » gallop. The road was so bad, the rain 8o blinding, the ruts so many, the mad 50 decp, that the beat the poor beasts could do in response to their master's oaths and loud cracka of tho whip was to give an occasional Jerk forward or a stumble, and then resume their Wonted funereal paco. e “ Heaven help us, Susanne! This dreadfal Journey will never end; we cannot possibly reach Besancon to-night," observed the lady who sat with her faco to tho horaes. * Mon Dien! how I wish we wers well over it and safe I” “ Madame is too nersous; that gentleman on horseback we have seon at tho last three sta- tions, and who has followed us, has frightened ber. Belicveme, I am sure heianospy; be ia too nice-looking for that. I am persuaded ho is only fascinated by madame's charms, and has not recognized her. Oh, he is no more a sins- culotte than I am."” ‘*It_matters vory little what you think abount him: I have my fears, and my reasons for having them. Put your head out onco more, and see it b be still in sight.” Sueanne did as sho was bid, and presently ghutting down the window as quick as she could, to prevent the rain from pouring in, gave her imistress tho reassuring news that not ouly had :’2::: obnoxious scranger disappeared, but also TIOE GATES OF JOUGNE were close at hand; **And, madame, through 2 break in the clouds I eaw the mouutains of Switzorland, 80 you see wo are approaching the frontier." “That is well. We will stop for supper here &t the Lion d'Or, and then hasten on to Bosan- con this very night,” said her mistress, In a few moments more the carriage rumbled through the narrow siroets of Jougne, and pres- ently stopped under the porle-cochersof tho hotel of the Golden Lion. “Will the ladies get down ?” eaid the jolly in keeper 28 ho stood with the balf-opened car- riage-door in one hand and_Lis cap in the other, bowing with extra civility to his two new guests, and amfihm at the prospect of their being do- tained all night under his roof, for travelers had become veryrare in those troubled times. “Will the ladies get down ? Supper will be ready at a moment’s notice.” “* Certainly, wo want it at once, and let it be a §00d, substautial meal, for, I can aasure you, we aro rarely hungry,” answered the tall lady, as eho jumped out, and, turning to the postilion, inquired i€ it were possible to reach See] before mduight. . PERFECTLY DMPOSSIDLE, MADAME ; the rouds are in a shocking state. We should only run the rikk of 2 breasdown half-way.” ““And that would boe intolerable. Al- lons! Busanue, get down and bring in with you all tho shawls, pillows, and night-bags you csn find, for, since we must elecp here, we may as well mako ourselves at home.” . Susaune, loaded with rugsand satchels, fol- lowed her mistress into the houss, and the two travolers, emerging from the suade of tho hall, entercd the brigltly-illuminated dining-room, A firo crackled chizorily on tho hearth, and tho large apartment, with its many little tables cov- ered mith snow-white cloths and shining glass, looked quite cosy. The ladies, taking oif thewr wraps, seatod themselves by the firo, and pres- eutly the landlady drew in front of them a table on which she placed two smoking bowls of ex- celleat broth, The bright light of the fire threw its cheerful glare on the conntenance of the tall lady, and showed bLer to possoss such raro snd stately beauty that the worthy landlady, on returning to the kitchen, preclaimed to her satellites that sho never before bad scen 80 queely a personage. “ C'est une ceritable reine g (SHL'S A PERFECT QUEEN), T'll warrant she’s some fino court Marchioness on hor way over the fronticr,” said sho; **and, poor soul! I would be the last to prevent her thight." fodesd, the Iady justified these en- comiums, Her figure was graceful and, commanding, her _ festures regular, her eyes bright and vivacions. Her hair, in' which still lingered traces of powder, was drawn bigh up over ber awple forehead, whilst one heavy curl hung down on her shouider. Her complex- ion was singularly brilliant, and, varying con- stantly on the least cmotion, gave tha lie to those of her enemies who declared she used paint. The oaly dofect that could be possibly foucd with thus otherwise perfect face was thst the lower lip, slightly too thick, protruded o Lttle boyond tho pper one, 2 ia froquently observed in por- traits of the Boveroigns of THE HOUSE OF AUSTRIA. ‘Her costume was sunple, consisting of a gray petticoat and a flowered clinty overskirt, niade in the fashion recently so populsr and styled “Dolly Varden.” Her attendant, whom she called Busanne, was & pretty and unpretending young woman belonging to the vivacious class ©of French serving-maidsimmortalized by Moliora and Beaumarchais as soubretles. The two travelers bad scarcely tasted their first spoonful of soup when the doors of the apartment were thrown open, aud & fonctionnaire of the Provisionary Government, wearing his tri- colored scarf, entered. Striding up to the table at which the twolsdies were soated, he drow from his pocket s letter, and fizing’ his eyes with avid intereston the tall lady, mado s mental comparison between her countenance &nd that of some one described in the documont he held in bis hand ‘ WHAT 13 YOUR NAME, CITOYENNE ?" asked ho suddenly in a tone of authority. “Mny I first ask, sir, who itis I shall have bad the honor of anawering when I do give my namo?” roturned _the lady, who, although she bad become exmedingli pale, retained her self- possession in & remarkable manser, for it was 1o joko for woman of position to fall into tho hands of fonctionnaires in those days. “I am the AMayor of Jougne.” #In that case, M. lo Maire, 1 AM MADAME DE PRYNE.” “ Have you no papers about¢ you—no pasi- port 7 ““Mon Dien! Yes—no; that is, of course I have, but in my trunk,” auswered the lady. **\Yo sre only going to Besancon. This is my maid Susanne ; we are two women traveling on business. 1 have an engagement at Besanco: and really, M. lo Mairo, I bad no 1des that pass- ports wera necessary whea traveling in France.” “You gaid that yon bad one in your box. Very woll, Madama de Pryne, allow me to sce this passport.” 5 “ Willingly! Call in your men, and lot them ?ring my largest trunk ; all my papers are in it The order was ix;en and the box opened. “1t is at the bottom of all.” said Madame de Pryne, xiamf 28 if to scarch for it herself. It is useless your troubling yourself, citoyonne. Bee? look at theso grand trains: theso alone suffico to prove that YOU EELONG TO THE COURT, and intend emigrating into Switzerland,” cried the Mayor, a8 he threw out of tho box on to the table several magnificent robes of velvet, one of which was lined with ermine. **And here—hera ‘my euspicions are more than confirmed. Ah! ah! Madame de Pryne!—that is your name, is it ?—and you wear a crown, do you?” ezclaimed the Mayor, 8 ho suddenly Tose from his inspec- tion of the box’s contents, brandishing triamph- antly in one hand s crown studded with large gews, snd in tho other s sceptro. “Ah! ah " Isnghied be exultingly, ““Madame de Pryno! Eo you were going over the frontier with the crown- Jewels of Erance? I know who you are.” #WWho 7" aeked Madamo de Prync, aa pale as & MARIX ANTOINETTE OF ATSTRIA, sometime Queen of France.” *Is ‘v’;‘e Queen expected to pass this way in her “8he is, and you know that beiter than anyone. Inthe name of France and. the law I arrest yon.” “TWithont any further proofs?” 4 Certainly : I do not require them.” " you mot at least look at my pass- rt Po"lhhl a borrowed paseporsi” aaid the Mayor [ in an impatient tone. “You had better give ourself up, madame, without any further ado. lieve me, it will be for the best.” “Then, ar,” the Iady answered, rising majes- tically from her seat and assuming an imperial attitade, 1 AY TIE QUERN " It would be difficalt to imagine a more noble figure than that of the unfortunate Princess as she spoke these four words. Sceiug that Su- sanne was impatiently about to interrupt ber, she silanced her by an imperative gesture, and then reseated beraelf with much digoity in her chair. 8o queenly did she appear at this cntical moment of her existence, that, staunch Rtepub- lican es he was, the Mayor of Jougne forgot all about egalile, bowed lowly beforo his fallen 80v- ereign and retired at once to give tho necessary ordors for Her Majesty's doteution and to an- nounco the news of hor captura to his follow- citizens. A few moments after his ext two gendarmes wers seat to mount gnard at the doors of the ealoon, and the unfortunate Queen, concludiog a fow worda of whispered conver- sation with Susanue, threw hersclf on ber knees and prayed earneady for Divine assistance, In less then an hour the Mayor returnod, accom- dozen orgo of the members of the They found the Queen calm, aud She acknowledged their defer- ential manner toward her with regal grace, and when informed that the upper floor of the hotel was placed at her servico until furthor instructions were received from Paris, followed them thuther with 8o quick and even gay a stop that several of them after- ‘ward remembered it 8s an instance of unusual self-command. Wken once tho Queen was safe and guards taced at her door, the Mavor of Jounge gava E.imsnu’ up to 8 transport of nrnlntion:a joy: {* He bad the Queen of France under I aud koy. On him, bofora threo days Wers ovar, would be fixed THE EYES OF ALL T WORLD, His name would descend to posterity, and live Torever in the aunals of of his country. Having nssembled his fellow-fanction- arics in the saloon of the inn, he made them a pstriotic speech, in which he invoked tho spirits of Brutus and Cato, and wound ng ‘I:Iy proposing that the *‘patriots of Jougue should form themsclves into a bat- talion of true republicans, and, placing Mario Antoinette of Austria in their centre, lead that arch-traitress bofore tho national tribuval. Pos- sesged 88 they wera of her crown, sceptre, globe, and royal mantle, they could carry these smblems of fallen despotism in their triumphal proces- sion, and offor them- a3 o holocaust on the altar of liberty.” An address to the National Assembly, stating their intention and giving tho most minute de- tails of the Queen’s arrest, was forthwith written out and signed by the entire conclave, and dis- patched immediately to the capital. To this iet- ter was added A PRIVATE ONE FROX THE QUEEN herselt, but 80 artfuily sealed that do what they conld it was impossible for any one of them to road a single word of its contouts. Having dis- ‘missed the council, the Mayor went once more to the Queen, to inform her of what had been determined. Beiog a kind-hearted mao, how- ever, he spared hor the Lknowladge of the man- ner in which he proposed to conduot her back to aris, Whilst he was conversing with Her Majesty, s gendarmo hurriedly entored tho chamber n astate of great excitement: “Al lo Maire! M. le Mlsire! wo have arrested POLIGNAC OR LAMBALLE!" 4 Ah,” exclaimed the Qucen, it is that yowug man.” “\¥hat young msn ?" inquired the Mayor. A gentleman who followed our coach, that in all,” auswered she, in somo confugion, seeing that sho had evidently committedan imprudence by this last observation. “ Lot hima be brought up_here immediately,” commsnded tho Masor ; and in a fov momeats » tall and remarkably handsome youog man was dragged into tho apartmont by two guards. His tatia wate dn'ppmgrwet, he bad fost his hat, and his soiled cloak dragged on the ground be- bind him. 41T 1S THE BAME,” whispered Susanpe, * porhaps s may help us.” *Please God !" murmured the Quecn. No soover was this young genilemsn dis- engaged from the hands of his captors than, throwing himself on his knces, he raised hor band to his lips: “Pardon me, madame. Had I but suspected it waa the Queen of Franco to whom I presumed to raiso my eyes, I would have died rather than have so far forgotten what was due to my sovereign, especially in hor Lour of trouble. "I am a gentleman by birth, the Count do Maillettes. Unaware of Your Majesty's truo rank, I followed yourcarriage, struck by yoursur- pussing beauty and enslaved by its power. hop- ing through persistouce to be favored with one glance of pity, if not of love. Now that I rocog- nize my error, es Your Majesty's most humblo sorvant and subject, my lifo is at your service, and I crave only vour gracious pardon.™ 4 Oh, you bave it Connt : I grant it willingly, and only sce in vour conduct,” answered the Queen smiling, but with an evident meaning, for she fixed her keon eyes on the kneeling gen- tleman in a manner that forbade Lis answoring —T seo, eir, in your conduct only & proof of your desire to serve AN UNFORTUNATE WOMAN AND A FALLESY QUEEN.” 1t ia well,” broke ia the Mavor. **Notwitl standing all appearances to the contrary, thia young man ovx'crq:nfly forms = part of your cor- tege, madame. Hoisarrested, and shall share your apartments. The chamber at the cnd of “the corridor, sir, is yours. You have, however, the right of free access to tho Queen whenever she dosires your presence. Mesdames, I wish you a very good-night! Citoyen, bon soir!” and bow- ing civilly the good Mayor withdrew for the night, ‘When the door was closed on the Mzyor the Count was about to withdraw also, but the Quecn prevented his doing s0, entreating him to re- main and partake of supper with her, which waa presently served. During thia meal the Quoen BECAME EXCEEDINGLY LIVELY, znd the morry lsughter of the imprisoned sov- ercign and her now friend being heard out- eide in the corridor, led the gumards when changed to announce to the pmblic ‘““tbat Her Jiajesty was_a singularly fearless woman, for, notwithstanding the dangor she was in, sho lanighed Tike a truo daughter of omus, nd as having n fine timo of it with the * Prince,’ who was evidently her lover.” 5o 1t is unnecessary to tell how tho imprisoned Queen passed her time in her confincment at the Lion d'0Or. We aro compelled, however, to re- cord that her intimacy with the Count beczme 50 great that once the guard at the door, spying through the keyholo, actually saw him E15S NEE before retiring for the night. . The sixth and last day of her captivity at length arrived. Tho answer from the National Assembly reached Jougne towsrd noon, and the Queen was at breakfast with the Count =nd Busanne when tho Msyor entered her presence, followed by the whole municipality and several guards. The rood Mayor was flushed with excitement, and in is hand he held the as yet unsealed document. Arranging all his colleagues according to their varions official grades in a semi-circle around him, ho addressed tho Queen, who roso to_hear Dim, with a stately and majostic air: °* Marie Antoipette of Anstria, wo have this morning re- ceived the following znswer from tha Govorn- ment of Paris, and hasten to communicste to you ita contents.” Hero the worthy Magistrate broke the meals and read * Citizen Mayor—Marie Antoinetto is still in Paris, and has nover left it. Let Made- moiselle Sainval, ACTDESS OF TRE THEATRE FRANCATS, pass on without hindrance to Besancon, whero sho bas an engagoment.” Had the earth opened at his feet the Mayor of Jougne conld not have looked more utterly dumbfounded. *So zou havo plsred us s trick, Baro sou, Mademoisolo Sainval” eried ho, furi- ously. 43y dear M. le Maire, allow me to remark,” answered the quondam Queen, ‘“‘that it is you who havo pleyed me s trick. 'Had you but ex- amined mv passport, a3"I told you, you woald have found that, slthough I havo been Queen of ‘Iyre, Bidonia, Greece, Jornsalem, Rome, and Mesopotamis, 1 have never, Tup to the resont time, laid claim to the throne of ’Z’nncs, even for & single night. You, however, bave forced me to play » part which does not belonz to mo for six days and nights in succes- sion, and AN I[ZESOXE ROLE ; ithsa proved. Confee, now, that it is notmy fanlt if you bave mistaken the crown and sceptre of Melpomene for tha: of Gsul. But, since I am freo to procced to Besancon, porkaps you will order my earriage to the door, for &4 goon 8 I have finished my_breskfast I iatend to be off. Don jour, meseiecrs 1" sdded she, bowing to the mortificd council a7 it withdrew. Sud- denly recollecting berself, she cried out, ““Eh, 2y the Connt g0 too 7" m“yTo the de\‘-:d it hn‘ liket; l““:]r::?d the nappishly as he slammed the 3 M;ryfnre;c&‘:m Bainval turned gracefully to the Count, and said, 8 a sweet smule illamined her chiarming face, ** And you, my dear Count, when yonhave donejasticotothat omelotto.perhaps sou T give me your azm and lead me down to tha sz ‘Ol How I wish that that poor Queen bad indeed left Paris whilst I was enacting ber part, which I did in the hope thst these people, bolioy- ing the paats to be s real dismond, would have lef the true jewel pass! Poor, poor Qneen ! Allons, Busanne! st ma zo, Cauot, you have gerved mo as sovereign of France; will you not 3iu cgminua to be my Squire as edy noen 2" The Count, bowiny; low, raised the fair actresa® band to s lips. Thisn, leaning on his arm, snd followed by ber faithful maid, Mademoisells Bainval swopt down the ataircase to the carTisge, in which the Count took his ses: opposite Susanne. R. DavExr TO ARNIE. 've got a poor heart, love, That Cupid's keen dart, Iove, 2 s, cruel, plerced right tarough and throtgh, Tho' wise ones may preach it, And learned onea teach it, Forever this poor heart the one thing will do: Going pitapat besting, Noting time fieeting, 1t has always the same love, my darling, for you. When, often and often, T'v3 efrove hard to softea The arrow that pianed me securely to thee, ‘You bother and tease me, Dewilder and please me, *Til the best of rcankind with thy fanlts would agroa. Nigh driven to madness "Twixt sadness and gladnoes, A slave to thy charms I ever will be. T'm bappy one moment ; Yet, ere love can foment, You radely and cruelly dish Hope to the grouad,— Not » whit cariog, With glances ensnaring, Aly heart in Love's fetters securely sou’va bound. 'And yon toy 2a you capture, "Til my soul, in 3 rapture, Btill yows thee s doarast and best i0 s found, g Cmcaco, Jaxrs Lavaioz, DA HUMOR. A hollo mockery—An echo. —Presaed for time—Egyptian mummies. —In tonts oxcitement—Panic in a circns. —A Iady in Washiogton was recently heard to observe, ‘on taking uo the morning paper: “I ° wonder i anybody has been bora that I kros.” —“T'm particularly nneasy on this point,” said the fly to the young gentleman who stuck #im ou the end of & pecdle. —This is highty colored: *The lilaca are bud- ding," says » Wisconamn editor. ‘Yon Lllsc Sa- tan,” l'cx!?onfl! one of his readers. *‘You violet the truth,” politely replies the editor, and both are given over to blue devils. —A sophomore says Lo cannot understand how any ono posscssing what is generally koown 2a & conscienco can counterfeit a five- cent piece, and put on the back of it, *‘In God wo trust.” —After saking your namein the Stato of Ar- kansas, the natives are in the habit of in- quiring, in a conddential tons, * Well, now, * what was yer nzme aforo yer moved to thess parts?" —Alluding to the doath of & citizon recently, the Danbury Netcs remarks : **With the single exception of twenty-throe years ago, whon he took a few lessons on a violin, his life hss been blamolesa” —Edith 0’Gorman is charged with being a charlatan in potticoats. How shoulda Charlotte An be draped ? —An Ohio woman riding on the cars with her boy eaid ho was 6, and when Billy spoke up and declared he waa 10, the good womea drew him over her knee and had eatisfaction for ths half- fare she was obliged to pay. —The cometory pend is the most popular in this vicinity. Here, of a clear night, and amid the solemn memorics which cluster about the spot, the ematour skater strikes on ths back of his head, and swears like a pirate.—Danbury ews. —4 clergyman boing invited to open a Legis- Iature with prayer, offered tho following ambig- uous petition : *ay corruption and sin of ov- ery form bo aa fax from every membor of this Legislature a3 Thou art.” cematery. * What's your pame?” Twaed,” blubbered tho boy. Ths frghtcned faimer dropped the boy and fled. —How to make a Iady stick out her littls finger. The best way of arcuriog this efect is toput on the finger in question a handsome dismond ring. —A Milwenleo dry goods clerk wears s shin gle under his shirt front to keep the wrinkles in subjection. —A jeweler Iabeled some diamonds in his win- dow 24 being aa sparkling as the tears of s young widosr, —Do you go to Sabbath-school, my Iad?” Lindly acked a city missiovary of & depraved littlo Dabuquo urchin. _* Narv,” answered the innocent child, *but I'vo got a_fightin’ cock that can wall over any bird in this town that wears gaffs.” —Gloomy and disaipated yonth (who has dia- covered that lifo is not worth Laving)—* I hopo 1 shen't be alive after 80!" Unsympathetic elderly party—* Is there any particular nccesaity that you sbould ba alive till 30 7" —First_swell — ““ Let’s seo — to-morrow's— What's t'day, byth'by ?”" Second swell—* Tnes- day, isn't—or Monday ?—w=3 yest'day Sunday? No''mind (vawns)—my man'l be hiero presontl pwecious saeewd fellow—'tell us liko & shot !”— Punch. —Young lady—* Did you know Btrouss was dead ?" Second ditto—*It is ouly the theo- logian, though.” —Baya the Ailwaukee Sentinel: “An old Mil- waukee bummer, when Loresd in yesterday'a Sentinel that tho women in Ohio aro emptying barrole of whisky iuto the guttors, patletically exolaimed, ¢ What Liappiness (o b an Obio gut- er.”” —TIt ia related that in & certain town in the northern part of Maine tho people wore holding & meoting, when tho pastor remarked that if any present Lid relatives or friends in diatant lands, prayers would bo offored in thoir behalf, No Booner was tho senteace complote than o simple~ | looking individual arose and "thus addresscd the astor: “Iwould like yon to pray for m, rotber, He wont away t7o weeks ago, and haven't heard from him since. I don’t know jest where he is, but you need mot pray below Bangor.” —The Baron de X—— was & miser to} the ex- tremity of meanness. Ho was at daggera drawn with his nephew, who was Lis heir, and more- overa spendthrift. Finding bis end approach- ing, tho Baron called fus valot. “ Here,” said ho, ** are ten s0us ; go snd buy me n shect of stamped paper, 1 wish to muko a will disnber- iting my nephaw.” ¢ But, Mousiour, stamped paperi8 now twelve sous a shoet.” “ Twelve sous! It is too dear. I had ratherlet my scoundrel of a nephow inherit."—L' Illustration. —Consus Oficer—* What age, madam, shall I put down?” Iadam (after mature reflection)— #What have you put down for the lady cver- head 7" —&imkina playfully remarked to his wife that he hsd four fools : beautifool, datifool, youth- fool, and delightfool. *‘Poor me!” said she. 1 bave but one.” PR —At = very successful seanco in Cincinaati, the other night, & man bur-t into tears whon the medium described very accurazoly a tall, blue- eved spirit stauding by him, with light side- whiskers and Lis bair parted in the middls. * Do you know him ?” inquired a man st bis side io & sympathetic whisper. * Know him? I guess I do.” repliod the unhappy man, wipiog his eves. #Ho was engaged to my wife. If he hadn't died he would have boen Ler husband instesd of me. Oh, George, Goorge!" he murmured, in» voic,e choked with emotion, * why did you peg out?” i —Yestorday the little son of onoof our citi~ zons, while playing with his eister, bright sweet child of 5 summers, got hold of his father’s gun, which had baen left carclessly standiog in the kitchon by the thoughtless parent, pointed tho gun at Lin playmate, snd, esying Jowingly, “T'Il kill vou!” puiled the trgger. What muat have been that boy’s feclings when he found that Bo had lied, that the gun was not loaded, and that his innoceat littlo aiater had knocked a por- tion of his noso off with s stick of wood.—dlis- souri Brunswicker. —_— Plaginrism. The Qawego Times has & good story to tell, in connection with tho literary viracy in which the students in onr colleges and academies induige. The late D. P. Fago, the firat Principal of the Albany State Normal School, remarks to the fol- fowing purport: He ssid that & few years previ- ous, while traveling in_Massachusetts, his wife, st » hotol, found an srticle in a magazine, which impressed her 80 favorably that she copled it into ber acrap-book. Ho rcad it at the time, and had not thonght of 1t since until the ovenin; before, when the same article had been hand: to him by ono of the students, for *correction,” 25 20 original composition. He sincerely regret- ted taat among young genilomen and lsdien, as- piring to the honorable on_of teachers, even ono should be found who would do so dis- honorable a tuing s to try to pazsof, a8 his or her own, tha productions of another, and his first impulse was to exposo tie fraud in open school. But he presumed 1t waa the fires of the kind that had occarred in that institution, aud as there might Ls sxten: § ciicamstavess, he Liad concluded t forgive the offender, premdsd that individaal should call at his room within three days, confess the faalt, and promiss mot torepeatit. In this iatcment Mr. Page gave D0 intimation as to the character of the “piecs," o the perpetuality of the pfender, 20d, before the expiration of the three days, more than two- thirds of the students had cslled upon him, ac- knowledged the offense, and apologized. ** and,” naid be, while relating the circumstances, the right one did mot como at all” Tha story needs no comments, and embodies itsa own: cane clasions, —A boy was caughs stealing chestonts neara