The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, June 11, 1931, Page 11

f \ A SCHWAB STORY Charles M. Schwab, steel magnate, does not claim to be much of an ora- tor. But he does tell some good stories. At a recent banquet, accord- ing to Editor and Publisher, Mr. Schwab told of a farmer who ap- proached him. “I've got a cow I want to sell to you, Charlie,” the neighbor said. “Yes, would she fit into my Guern- sey herd?” “No, I dunno as she would.” “Has she got anything to recom- mend her?” “Wall, I dunno as she has.” “Does she give lots of milk?" “No, I can’t say as she gives lots of milk, but, Charlie, I can tell you this: She's a kind, gentle, good-disposition- ed old cow and if she’s got any milk she'll give it to you..—The Path- finder. DIDN'T WANT A SAFETY “Ah wants a razzer, an’ ah wants It quick.” ‘They say Bolshevism is a reJegion, 8o don’t worry. It will peter out as oon as it gets prosperous. If only there was some way for the umpire to warm up his eyes before the game. About the only war slogan that Serves us well today is: “When do we eat?” One reason for lack of character is that you can’t get it by ordering ten easy lessons or buying an outline. Busy, successful people chanting, “Mellon is a wonder!”; bankrupt gamblers, success forgotten, whining, “Mellon is a no-good.”—Americanism. MODERN MOTHER'S ADVICE Let fashion be your foremost guide, Go slow in cigaretting, Be careful what you drink—anc¢, dear, Discriminate in petting.—Life. Daily Cross-word Puzzle across: 1. Stupid person 4. Orchestral di- rection not’ to play 9. Beverage 12. Young dog 13. Australian palm cocka- [A[OTOTRIE] 00 14. Uncooked 15. Make a mis- take 16. Act of leaving 18. Small sound Lor be 21, Sandy 24. Calyx leat 27, Note of the scale 28. Cuts length- wise is 30, Half: prefix 81, Ibsen char- 36. Keen enjoy- 45, On the ocean 59. Pigpen the planet D 38. mates “ Pherge fl nt COWN = sien Uiet pty ramatic Mos na orm Forget, musical 52. Even: ‘contr. 1, Copy 48. Knot of ribe work 54, Poem 2. Takes un- ‘bon 40. Symbol for 55. Martinique awares 49, Mountain in 4. Patk'in'the 56, Compass point % Zrolle 50. Addition to "a . ion to a ‘Rocky 57. Existed 4. Young trog building Mountains 58. Having bot- 43. Comes out in- toms, as to view shoes “Now go ahead and order anything you like—this is on me.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE. Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle [S[o[A[OMESTAlS|H] aisle Gao08 BEBO ONE SE@E08 THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, THURSDAY, JUNE 11, 1931 It's THE SAME OLD STORY = Ok THE CNANCE OF INVESTING WHEN | ‘To e Arh THIS FIFTY FIRTY WAY OF LIVING = STOCK = 1,000 IN OME NE RAVED = SAID | WAR CRAZY = WHAT SHE HAS BELONGS WHEN WE BOTH AGREE ON AND WHEN | MADE THE $250,000.% - IT WAS To HER- A SUBECT— WHAT I HAVE BELONGS Yo BOTH OF US= OH- WELL- YOU CAN'T WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH THEM = 1 HAVE MAY WAT = BUT WHEN WE DISAGREE SHE WHO SUGGESTED THAT } BUY THE STOCK— AND SHE INSISTS ON GETTING HALF — t GOTTA LAUGH — LLEY— AND THERE’S THE PLACE GASOLINE IT'S AWFULLN Sweet OF YOU, HONEY, BUT COME ON, PHYLLIS! "VE GOT A SURPRISE FOR NOU. | WAS SANING IT FOR NOUR ANNIVERSARY BUT | JUST CAN'T KEEP 'T ANN LONGER. THERE IT IS- TO BE ALL NOURS! A COTTAGE ON A BEAUTIFUL LAKE — ORINING DISTANCE FROM TOWN. OF COURSE IT NEEDS FIXING UP, a BUT CAN'T You VISUALIZE A WONDERFUL PLACE FOR THE SUMMER? NOT VET. AND NOU UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE A NUMBER OF i Tit WE TALK rT Over, THINGS THAT HAVE } f THERE MAN BE SOME TO BE CONE To J THINGS THAT EVEN j MOU HAVEN'T ACTUALLY BOUGHT IT NET, HAVE Nou, WALT? {T'S NOURS TOO, REMEMBER. JUST TOO SURPRISING PATHFINDER PHILS Many a man who used to be known for his deeds is now known by his mortgages. It would help traffic a lot if all road hogs were compelled to drive Austins. Spain has gotten over a very lengthy attack of the Bourbonic plague. Liquor may improve with age but Perpetual chatter about it does not. Gales of laughter are the best thing to blow away dark clouds. Writer's cramp usually affects the stomach more than it does the wrist. OF : Copyright. 1931. bs The Chieage Tribune 5 5% ¥) HENRY MCGOOSEY'S BOY! WELL, ILL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FOR HIM. i ——— WELL AF YOU WNSIST, (GUESS (SHOULDN'T INSULT YOU BY REFUSING TO ACCEPT, __—_—$——————————— ('M SORRY, MR. HECTOR BUT 1 CAN'T Bi WELL, ALL RIGHT-| | HERES THE FELLOW WHO HAD DISCOUNT MY BILL:-- YOU ASKED ME | MOST OF THE TROUBLE ANO ceaneainy 40 FIND YOUR RUBY AND SPARE | WHO FOUND THE RUBY , | FOR YOU. 1th ith i QUARTER FOR YOU=:*iT MIGHT NOT SEEM LIK MUCH, ° FIFTY-FIFTY Peck (protesting)—Am I never to have my way in anything? THAT Mrs. Peck—Why, certainly, Henry. z “a Hi When we agree you may have your way, but when we disagree I'l; have mine.—Boston Transcript. SOCIAL BELLWETHERS Newlywed—I wonder why it is we can't save anything? Mrs. Newlywed—It’s the neighbors, dear, they are always doing some- thing we can’t afford.—Tit-Bits. Correct this sentence: “And when people criticize our climate,” said the resort native, don’t take it as a personal insult.’ The man who makes quick decj- sions may get the big reward, but he also gets bumped a lot from the rear. The new-rich always buy the things they once yearned for in v: nd perhaps that explains America’s yen for swell baths. TU WANE TO DO SOMETHING ~ AND SNAPPY ! HERE IT IS, PAST, THE TENTA. OW WHY DIDNT 1 TELL CHICK THAT I LOST THE RENT AT BRIDGE --- WHAT (F THE LANDLORD CALLS CHICK AND ASKS Him FOR—~— TLL BET TWO COOKIES “THAT'S HIM Now? WNHAT SHALL & In some other lands, also, the wom- en cove? their faces in public, but the cover isn’t smeared on. ‘The average college man doesn’t make over $5,000 until his sixth year. It takes that long to locate a good spot for a lunch stand. 1 Aged 8. Biblical weeds 9% Musical ine strument 10. Organ of hear- ing 11, Religious fear 17. Golf mounds 19. Halt ems 21, Astound [Oo] 22. Fodder pit . Day's march 25. Entertainment 36. Covers the in- HEY, GU22, PRACTICE AWHILE — YOU NEED } 17! ¢'9 GOIN’ OVER To SEE HOW MR. » BackHome LIKED His TRIP ABROAD! WELL, TELL US SOMETHIN’ ABOUT IT; MR. BACKHOME — SOME OAY ( MIGHT TAKE A JAUNT OVER THERE — WECL, f Like ROME ANO PAREG, BUT THE BeEsT PART OF THE. WHOLE TRING. WAS THE TRIP OVER — DON'T tss THAT, WHATEVER You (& YOU GO TS EUROPEs stel reg Bersolates. 46. Pertaining - 5, 100 square 51. Perceive meters French 83. 6. Head covering shal mar- WLISSEN «WS! BIWEEN US CRAG oo 1 TW HE KNEW RE Was LicKeD! WE RWEW HE WAS GONNA GET HIS'N OW WHE «YM 0 sorry ! AN’ IT WAS AL MY FAULT, Too! BOOTS AND HER BUDDIES