The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 25, 1931, Page 10

T HE BISMARCK. TRIBUNE, MONDAY, MAY 25, 1981 “I don't really need a new hat, I'm just getting even with my hus- band for spending so much on golf lessons.” + Mince v $ OAT. OFF. 9.1931 ey nea scavice ine. 2) | NOW YOU TELL ONE ONE GOOD JOKE GRANDMA WAYBACK SAYS ‘These modern dainty bridge tunch- eons are easier on the eyes than on the indigestion. A modern home is one where the Bible gets as little wear and tear as the cook book. Some of those new house pajamas are so nifty that I can't help but ad-/ | mit they are an improvement over the Mother Hubbard. One thing the matter with folks to- day is that they are so busy sighing for what they haven't got that they can't enjoy what they have. A sure way to flatter any man is to tell him he is flatter-proof. ‘The heaviest tax life imposes is that on your patience. TOO MUCH RELIGION Mistress: I've asked Mr. and Mrs. Smith to dinner at seven, Mary, but — think we'll give them a quarter of on hour's grace. Mary: Well, ma’am, I'm religious , but I think that’s rather over- i.1—Tit-Bits, A ROUGH RECEPTION { #Was Edna’s father rough with you en you told him you had sccretly his daughter?” “Tll say. He nearly shook my arm pft.’—Pathfinder, NO FAULT OF HERS ‘Housewife: Jan, don’t let me catch you kissing that butcher’s boy again. Maid: Lor’, ma’am, I don’t mean to, but you bob around so.—Answers. ON THE OU'S Friend: Is the raido working? | Wife of Radio Announcer: No, I'm} afraid not. My husband and I are; not on speaking terms, and so he’s! taken away some of the works.—Pass- Stage Manager (hearing sudden outburst of laughter): Good Michael! Is the comedian actually putting a joke over? Scene-Shifter: No—it’s a bit o’ scenery fell on ‘is ‘ead!—London Opinion. NAME O’HOWLS Miss Irene Shapely won a beauty contest at Detroit. The graduation class at an East Parsonfield, Me., school is composed of two Weeks and two Days. Ferdinand Grip is the dancing partner of Edna Wallace Hopper. The Bratt control system i: Swe- den’s method of controlling drinking among juveniles. A. Longshore is a member of the coast guard along Florida's shore. Hawk vs. Pidgeon were involved in a damage suit at Muncie, Ind. Add marriages: Ella Lamb to Charles Shearer at Bridgeport, Ind., and a Mr. Cobb to a Miss Webb at Detroit. THIS IS TOO MUCH Bum: Spare a copper for a poor man out of work? Business Man: Here's a ha!f-dol- lar. Call at my office tomorrow and T'll find you work. “No, sir, the half-dollar will be enough—I'm not greedy."—Buen Hu- mor, Madrid. ing Show. aAcROSS Solution of Saturday's Puzzle 10. No lot ace 1. Strike with : tive in busi the open hens. hand + Fecal solo % 1 . Factory S Dealing ; Cronies 10, Inclined walle ft reeaase 14. Parent ; Jubilant state 15. Compositions of mind for one 28. Paces performer 7 Move on the 16, Silkworm pangs ane 17. Send out . Clothes-drier 18, Long narrow |. Acknowledge boards California 19. Money drawer Toc! 20. Wants . Small eels: 22, Radio an- slang tennas 5. Gave food 24, Dweller near ; Male child the Atlantic . Keep from seaboar : Woolen st 26. Hardly sum. thinner than rat. cient 29, Olden times: teen archaic 66. Restores after 42. Partial paral» 30. Fruits deleting ysis 34. Triturate: st. Army meal 44. City in Ger- abbr. 35. Title of monk 36, Make mourn- 31, At any time: contr. zerland and Looked slyly Italy 43. Gaelic form of 61. Fall John H 62. Persian fair: : comb. i rf . Sound of a 6; bullet in the form air 64. Singing voice Small fish 63. Labels many 1, Went rapidly 46. Soften in ripples temper . Writing fluid honeybee di 4. Long-suffer- ing 5. Equine ante mals §. Underpitiows ; Palmyra palm Wreath on = leat: var. knight's = helmet ond child- 56. Witticisms 0 57. Epte poem EXTRA! EXTRA!! ALL ABOUT THE GIGANTIC CON SOLIDATION — TOM CARR STOCK SOARS TO 25 TIMES PREVIOUS MARKET PRICE = POOL MANIPULATIONS BRING FORTUNES TO FEW WHO HAD - CONFIDENCE IN THEIR STock MOLDINGS — IF | BON THIS FOR MN WIFE FOR AN ANNIVERSARY PRESENT THE ROOF WILL HAVE TO BE PATCHED UP A BIT. REBOILT. YOU'RE GOING To JUMP OFF THIS BRIDGE ONTO THe ToP OF NY UANENT The NERVE, DONT NGDs sprte oF ove LANYER HONK'S PROMISES To FREE HIM CHICK 19 STILE IN THE JUG. BUT Hom Uas A SCHEME ON Foot To GET WM OUT AND IT's COMING ALONG EASt LOOK! WERE'S Bat INSIDE SHOT OF THE BLOTZ iHome HE'S THE NEIGHBOR WHO PUT CHICK FOR SWIPING WS MILK Che eo-~errr AND HER BUDDIES THAT ONE'S ABODT SUNK. YOU'D HAVE TO PUT ON ANEW ONE "oO SAN. ANID YOU'D NEED THE CHINBLEY WENRY, GET WE MILK OUT OF WWE FRONT WALL BND COME To BREAN TAS: af SOME SlLoW WIT— AND HERES MY CHANCE ( €€EL JUST LIKE PULLING A FAST ONE ON WITH OFFICER CLUBB/ 1 SEG BY THE PAPER THIS MORNING THAT YOU AND 1 ARE AMONG JHE LUCKY ONES TO WIN A FORTUNE — MANY CONGRATULATIONS — TOM= | STILL BELIEVE I'M LIVING IN A DREAM— HOW CAN 1? EVER THANK You ? JOB THAT WOULON'T LOOK LIKE THAT ONE IN| A COUPLE OF MEARS. As.THe Express comes SLICING UNDER THE | BRIDEE, FRECKLES HAS HIMSELF ALL PoIseD For THE DROP To THe ROOFS OF THE COACHES. THE GUMPS—EXTRA! EXTRA! MR. CLUBB, IF ‘OU SAW A GUY PLAYING THE HORSES, WoULO You ARREST HIM? YES- NENRIETTA- THE CONSOLIDATION WENT THROUGH AS PLANNED BY OUR BOARD OF DIRECTORS — ALL You HAVE ‘TO DO Now 1% TURN IN YOUR OLD CERTIFICATES, FOR THE NEW CONSOLIDATED STOCK WHICH THEN WILL WAVE A MARKET VALUE TO YOu OF 500,000, @ - CONGRATULATIONS TO You ALSO= SHED HAVE 7 GE ALL \ TRUED UP FIRST AN’ LATH AN! PLASTERED AN’ NEW FLOORS AN’ IM. DOORFRAMES AN’ TRI GAMBLIN'S AGIN TH’ LAW, AN’ YER OERN TOOTIN' wouLo/ Wr-1Ete GENT" 5 WO-MESACH | AM wees WALL 1-8 INA UTTLE WATER SNSTEM? TANK 400 MORE. GOT YOU OUGHT TO GET Reg. U.S. Pat, Of 5 Cos by The Chicago Tribur " TUATS WAT WILL HAPPEN iF I miss THIS Li tass gust tt es ONE BIG ENOUGH TO RUN Se WN JO AND HE SHOULDN' YOUNG FELLOW? BE THERE I’. GET nl) CoAT AND HAT - 4 ‘] @ j i \l@ cA || cle c 1 1 ‘ ae ee aes Pee ee 2 ee ae ee ee Pe a a a arene