The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 21, 1931, Page 10

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, THURSDAY, MAY 21, 1931 ° Soess } 's, but she seems real she from an old aristocratic family?” ni The boss of the household is the} one who gets to read the paper before | somebody messes it up. The Chicago cop who deposited $8,000 a day will be fired, of course, | and another man given a chance. | THE MAID'S OF GOOD QUALITY | Wife—I have written a tes for Mary. I have said she was im- pertinent, rude and lazy, but I don’t want to stand too much in her light so I want to say something was sat- tsfactory. Husband—Say she had an excellent eppetite—Pages Gaies, Yverdon. ‘There's one consolation. Those stupid enough to be led astray by a naughty picture are too dumb to see through it. BIG TRIFLES | "Can you give me any proof that fittle things are important?” demand- ed the teacher. “Yes'm,” piped Peter from the last row of seats, “Horse flies make a fhorse roll over in the pasture.”—Chi- cago News. ‘That Yale professor who says fear will keep you thin probably means fear of indigestion. The old boy who says he has driven 24,000 miles without a puncture is the | Same one who used to say the little} mare had stepped a mile without wet- ting a hair. Al Smith can afford to smile. His! great building is finished and Mr. Hoover is still working on his fences. How much simpler it would be if all the rogues were confined to the crim- inal class Home: Any place where a good woman holds out her arms OW YOU TELL ONE | i |got the mortgage and the bank's got ON DANGEROUS GROUND The traffic policeman signaled to the motorist to stop. “Well, and what's the idea?” asked the motorist. “Why have you stopped me?” “Dangerous driving,” the constable informed him. “Dangerous driving?” ist laughed hollowly. experienced driver.” “Maybe,” said the constable, equal to the occasion, “but what you don’t know would fill a hospital.”"—Chicago News. The motor- “Why I'm an The great problem of city manage- ment is whether to hire a new man who has a fortune to build %r keep an old grafter who may have almost enough. | Now they tell us that most old peo- ple die between midnight and 4 a. m. Isn't it rather rushing things to have} the funeral by the time the gamej starts? | | Ten nights in @ bar-room seemed awful to the oldtimers because it) wasn't a mere dining room after the | guests left. | The first step in a war on gang- sters, as in any other, is to make the People give a darn. COMPLETE INFORMATION “Who owns this house, little boy?” “Everybody, T guess.” “Everybody?” “Yes, sir. Grandpa paid the down payment, my daddy pays the taxes,! mother pays the ‘surance, my other gran'pa pays interest, Aunt Belle’s the deed."—Chicago News. i Bathing daily. brushing teeth, using | mouth washes to avoid germs; eating in restaurants with unwashed hands. —Americanism, ACROSS Mineral spring Solution of Yeste: 1 | Daily Cross-word Puzzle rday’s Puzzle 7. Place tn ane other setting 8. Female sheep 9. Oily sub- | stances 0. Vex: colloa, 1, Measure of surface Circuit of a race track ble tubers emptible rson Rub out | | Read metrt- cally inderstand alf score Has being | SALESMAN | Not So Good! WELL = SEE WHERE YOUR YOM CARR STOCK 1S TODAY — DOWN ANOTHER TEN POINTS — HELLO PUNCH! Nou'Re A cute LITTLE FELLA AN NOU LUKE ME, DON'T YOu? TWAT IT WAS a THE GUMPS—STILL THE BOSS AND | ‘TOLD YOU NEVER To INVEST A PENNY IN IT — NOT TO TAKE A CHANCE — \ HAD A TIP, GOING HERE PAL! LET GO! LEAVE PUNCH rreckies|E XTRA! AND HIS ACTING ON A FRIENDS | “sp From FRECKLES, DETECTIVE steeLe A New Devel- TRAP FARBAR'S opment! By Blosser | roxy rargar!! WHAT IF I DONT WANTA TELL, HUH? SAY, WHAT ABOUT THAT COFFEE THE OLD LADY FIXED FoR You... DIDN'T You DRINK MAKE HIM TELL WHERE FARBAR COULD Look AT YOU AND] A COMMON MIL - BOTTLE THiel WELL ‘WHAT 2 CANT IMAGINE (S-HOW ARE ‘fou GOING TO GET ME OUT OF THIS HOOSEGOW # F 2 ‘YOU WERE BURNIN’ THE MID— NIGHT OL. LAST NIGHT, WEREN'T ‘Ya, SAM? 1 SAW A FROM TH’ STREET WRITIN’ AT YOUR Cesk! SAM WRITIN JoKEs— 74 GONNA SECO ‘Em To THe Locat sean! (09 Tein My HAND AT Cc LAND IN Yo IF | WANT TO INVEST A LITTLE MONEY VA GOING TO INVEST [T= VM HOLDING THE REINS 1N THIS FAMILY= AND (MW GOING TO KEEP ON HOLDING THs’. Be PRETTY SOFT! IE THE En'Ter ts Go Busy T BUY MY Jokes AND Kicks ME OUT > THIS, FRESH THAT'S ALL RIGHT = IF YOU LIKE DRIVING $0 WELL - YOU CAN KEEP ON DING THE REINS — pur rn GOING YO KEEP ON SITTING ON THE ¥ AT BESIDE YOU AL3O~ OORACKING “THE WHIP = AND TELLING You WHICH WAY TO DRIVE — THE REINS — Reg US. Pat OF. Coryright, ty The Chung febete AREN'T NOU ASHAMED OF NOURSELF. WHY, PUNCH IS ONIN A Wy SHAME ON YOU PAL! You MUSTN'T BE JEALOUS LIKE THAT. SLEEPIN PowDER IN THE Corres !!" GEE, FLOYD.. WHAT DID YouR MOTHER ) FOLLOWED You, AN’ WHEN THAT } OLD LADY WASNT LOOKIN: I SLIPPED IN THE KITCHEN AN’ PUT ENOUGH SLEEPIN’ ¢ POWDER IN THE COFFEE To NHHY, WHY, SHE PUT IT IN DADS. THERNOS BOTTLE... GEE...DAD Witt ORINK IT WHILE \ HE'S DRIVING THE EXPRESS wt DO WITH THAT CoFFEE © ' Ou LEAVE THAT To ME! WEY CAN'T KEEP AN WNOCENT CLIENT OF MINE SET A TRAP AND NABBED Him WITH THE SWAG Wh HIS MITTS WIT'S AS PLAIN AS A TAL-LIGHT THAT HES ae? WELL THE ONLY TIME A LAWYER IS CALLED ON THESE PETTY THIEVERY CASES IS WHEN ITS a WUNDRED CHANCES To ONE THAT THE CLIENT 1S GUILTY .... WHAT A MESS! ER-EH-aHEC! O10 You || THEN ‘YA MUST BE A make. THESE ES WHOLE LOT OLDER uP YeRSEeLED THAN Ya Looks pies Z (sure / OID, SIR: ipa MR SMITA AGNIN | comEnOW 1 DONT a A a a. A i=q =— SZ ZT SS 5 YO GATVER US BAT AROUND BY MYSELF WOVEN. COULD HWE_COMLES MORE FON ETI, A MANS MINOA HANDY VANE AROUND WHEN YOURE ALL DLONE 1S A BNE PLACE LIKE THis 0 “*NGOSR KNOWS WHERE WILLE N@ ove OW WELL + HELLO! MR SMITH Pee, OKAY. L GWE OP _2 /Y r s4'4 ¥ er \ | J 4 | \ | ade FY ‘ A