The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 5, 1931, Page 10

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, TUESDAY, MAY 5, 1981 TRIBUNE’ “—And also lady, that book contains 50 uproarious practical jokes to play on your friends,” | NOW YOU TELL ONE A WOMAN AROUSED ONE POINT OF VIEW | Brown: How did you find the, ecoustic properties of the new} chureh? Jones: Great! If you sit well back you can’t hear a word of the sermon —Passing Show. | NOT A CHANCE | Lawyer: Now, doctor. suppose the parsons and the devil should have a| lawsuit, which do you think would) win? | Parson: Lawyer: why? “Because he would have all the} lawyers on his side.”—Pele Mele, Paris. The devil, unquestionably Ah! And will you tell us “Mrs. Boggs, I met your husband today and he was telling me how much he was in love with his work.” “Huh, I guess I'll have to drop in jon him at the office."—Pathfinder. NOT FOR MAN'S EYES He: I can't see what keeps you! women from freezing. She: You aren't supposed to, big boy.—Ohio Motorist. HE GOT THE BIRD SHE'S QUIT Now “John! Isn't this a duck of al “ I should think it’s a pelican by the size of the bill. "Answers. ‘AWFUL’ HAPPY “I have just heard an awful story| | about Mrs. Jones.” | “I thought you had. You lcok so | happy.” — Lustige Kolner Zeitung, | Cologne. | Jean: ployer. bim? Jane: So you married your em- How long did you work for THE REAL STUFF | Artist: This joke ought to| T've had it im my head for | Until I got him.—Answers. Comic A FINE TAKE-OFF |be good. “When you refused Joc my hand, | ten years. H did he go down on his knees?” | Heartless Editor: Sort ot aged in “Well, I didn’t notice where be lit.”| the wood, as it were-—Hummel, Ham- ~-Pathfinder. | burg. JUST FORGET IT Mother: Charlie, what did 1 say I vould do to you if I caught you steal- ng jam again? Son: Why, that's funny, mummy. You've forgotten, and I can’t remem- ber what it was, cither—Answers. HOW CAN HE KNOW? Boss: How is it you are never at| work on time in the morning and/ 1% often leave too early in the evening? | it Clerk: Well, sir, you told me not \o watch the clock, so I don't pay any attention to it.—Pathfinder. | Daily Cross-word Puzzle | ACROSS Le ea bronze Stripling . Small fish Be OG! Ingredient of tet P varnish w old 34. Uncanny 5. A king of Israel Bestowed . Wigwam Rise and fall Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle . Be situated . Spread Exclamation . Those who deduce loge of the sea il. Paradise . Perceive by the touch . Feminine name . Pierced with the horne . Anatomical passages . Worshipped 2. Goes furtively Enlarges a ole . Legendary tales . Insect ;; Diplomacy . Drunkards |. Made cloth Pertaining to punishment }. Distance be- tween _mov- ing parts . Foriner cape Stal of Burma . Math century 2. Person bear- playing card ing another's 4 Pee ork A cas ine openwor! nckets fone 52, Male child 53. Pen 5. Gone by 6. Marked with small de- pressions Plant grown from seed 3. Head cover- inj |. Meadow >. Silkworm . Murmur sweet nothings DOWN 1, Having wings 7. 2, Alleviated a * » Tar rrr acm allel S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND FEATURES THE GUMPS—WHY—O, WHY? WEEPING MULBERRY? THATS A WEEPING MULBERRY = DAPA = WHAT KIND OF A TREE 'S TNAT YOU PLANTED IN OUR FRONT NARD ? ANERN, WHAT ARE NOU PUTTING ON NOUR BRAKES FOR Zz WHY BO THEY CALL FT A WEEPING MULBERRY- WHY ? wey BO Twey CALL You CHESTER ® way 60 THEY CALL ME CHESTER - FATHER ? THEYRE MAKIN’ SUCH A GUSS ONER A RUBY S MIS THE BEST FORK THERE BRE ONLY “INO WE UNE SUGARS CT LOOKS |] WEMBERS OF “TUE FORK MORE LUKE A TRICK KIND | FAMILY Ihe OUR SILVER: OF CORKSCREIN, THAN A SEGNICE , HONEY~BUT. FOOD SPEAR LUNE IDEAS - MOM-N POP Vic ter THis CHING OUT To see (FITS ON THE a an UP AND UP — BZ Zc corn on CORA I! --r0v WORD «= VERE'S A WIRE FROM BOOTS AND HER , Boovs BROKER BX BUDDIES OH, YoU DONT UNDERSTAND.. THIS RUBY IS So OLD WELL, T_ WSU. SOME OF OUR RELATIVES aS ANOULD GET (DEA “TO GWE US A SALNER SKOWER ‘GWAN! Vio EVER HEARD ]} NO...BUT THIS RUBY, THAT WAS STOLEN MORE THAN SOMETHING NEW? A SECOND HAND AUTO BINT WORTH AS MUCH AS A NEW ONG, 1S 1TH! We WILL HONE 8 You LEANE THAT TO ME ... TOMORRON NIGHT, ree: <->)