The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, April 25, 1931, Page 16

THE NAMES OF POST OFFICES \ USTED IN THE POSTAL GUIDE vy) FOR EACH ONE OF THEM. TAKE MOUSIE, KENTUCKY, FOR, ON= | WISH YOU HAD BEEN WITH ME THIS AFTERNOON lo SEE BUETYNER'S NEW APARTMENT — 1 HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING $O BEAUTIFUL IN MY LIFE = Bm § WOULD JUST LIKE TO NAVE You SEE SOME OF THE FURNITURE “THEN HAVE — THE SAME MAN NAMED THAT AS NAMED RAT, MINNESOTA, INSTANCE, SKEEZIX. “Glad you liked the ride, Millie—just wait'll next week, when I start delivering for that flower store.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE : ALREADY QUALIFIED “Got any references?” asked the plumber. “Yes,” replied the applicant for the fssistant’'s position, “but I left ‘em at tome.” “Never mind, you'll do.”—Tit-Bits. Her bitter-half arrived home at 2 B. m., and at 2:30, after she had fin- ished her lecture, she said: “Well, twhat have you to say?” “I sure am glad that I’m not King | Solomon,” he mumbled, crawling in- to bed.—Pathfinder. TOODLE-DO Two bus drivers were held up in the traffic of a busy street. One of them, Josing his temper, yelled: “Why don't you look where you're going, you pie- eyed blankety blank?” The other replied politely: “You're nice looking, too.”—Tit-Bits. Johnny—Aw, Ma, I know where I\day of the eleventh month, and I came from now. Mother— Why, Johnny, what dojon the door, and I backed the you mean? - Jhonny — Well, my name's Ross, fsn’t it—and I just passed a high building with the sign on it, “Ross Manufacturing Co.” “Mildred’s father played a mean trick on her. You know that young Robert she was going with? “Yes, did the old man kick him out?” “No, he invited him to breakfast One. morning without his dauzhter's knowledge. and now Robert has stopped going to see her.” Art Critic—I was just noticing the brush marks on this Rembrandt Mrs. Newrich — Would it cost very much to have them removed?—The Pathfinder. ‘The women of Turkey are different; their emancipation has not setiled in| bandits told me that if I didn't shut their trigger finger. A TRUE VERDICT | i Client: I don’t like these pictur They don’t do me justice. ij Photographer: Justice? Lady. what you want is mercy.—Answers. STICKING TO IT “The most amazing coincidence I ever remember was on the eicventh lived in a house with number eleven eleventh horse in a race.” “and the horse won, I suppose?” “Nothing of the kind. The beastly animal came in eleventh.”—Answers. Scribbler — How do you like O. Henry? Scratcher—I can’t stand it. The | peanuts stick in my teeth. Rhymer—What’s the difference be- tween guitar and catarrh? Punner—One makes music and the other me sick. “Some say love is a chemical reac- tion.” “Well, we can all conduct our own laboratory experiments.” Hoboken—Did you yell for help when you were held up? Shamokin—TI started to but the! It's All Over! up they'd call the police. | Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS @ Cease; nautl- 3; cal 6. Deputy 1. Irrigates 3. Shal And: French } faire 13% Eitebtooa ot « (AIMIEIE/R] * plant len, Genus ot the er. Fizing tors 129. Roll of tobacco 30. gs: Myseit ysel |s6. Fish 39; Veretsblacte relvet-blacl 54. Devoured mineral we. pela 55. Cutting ma- - Marry 56. 443: Ponder 81. Thin 44. Negative 58. Grew white 46. The legal pro- 39 Sttempt fession 47. A placing side DOWN by side L Religious fear [ATL JAl Tie Mam] [rfelR) [s{t{TlojR} JAJO[RITIA] is: 20. Droop I 2 Heaven, AIGIEIS| 25. Titles init InISTE| a Bueree meee: 35. Spanish nero SAM 45. Drive down 46. Feathered at. vessel 3 Praposition of 48, American 4 Mexican shawls 5. Decorate 6. Sandarac tree 1. Pertaining to Above: poet. @ genus 53. Negative vote BUDDIES YES...1F THEY FIND FINGER PRINTS ON IT, RUBY WAS NO CRIPPLE... WE'LL TAKE THE CRUTCH IN HERE AND HAVE 1T EXAMINED !! SALESMAN AND HER MoM'N Pop! Come HERE QUICK $ Ha, Ha, Gu22// KMEW / COULD BeatTcHa ! HEADS, / WIN! You GoTT™ ANSWER TH’ PHONES PLE W KID ~ HOW YA FEELIN’? CHOOSE MOUSIE FOR A NAME BE CONPARATIVELY WAL WA! CHICK, HONEST You'LL DIE LAUGHING. INOIN! DO KOU KNOW WHAT B DID? WAIT “HLL TWAT CROOK , SWIVEL, FINDS OUT THE GUMPS—ANTIQUES 1 HAVE NEVER SEEN ANNTHING SO gee YOU SHOULD SEE TH! ANTIQUE & FROM EUROPE - THEY HANE ONE SET THAT GOR® BACK ‘TO JHE PERIOD OF Louis THE FOURTEENTH- Van 0 tg Va. SURE THEN'RE J THE ONLY THING OF THEIR KIND — LIKE CANDLEWAX, VIRGINIA. ‘OR GANG, MISSOURI. MANY STATES PICKED CHESTER Z, ves, “Y AN’ PLATTER, OKLAHOMA. Y NoT BE GOING BACK ae AS LOUIS THE FOURTEENTH — BUT THEY'RE GOING BACK = ON THE FIRST OF THE MONTH — GOING BARK TO THE INSTALLMEN’ RE Heese You BOUGHT THEM, FROM — HOUs NOW 1S GETTING NOUR ARITHMETIC, LIEUT. STEELE Is THE NAME... I'D LIKE You T LOO THIS CRUTCH OVER, YEAH:.LD JUST LIKE To KNOW wHo THe Gasar isi. STUPE-MY, SIGNATURE-CAN'T You SEE 2 I foRGoT AND So ISNT LEGAL — (4 GIVING THE TWINS A BATH, MR.GU22LEM— BEFORE THE WaTer GETS <oL0, SEND SAM over WITH SOME CASTILE SoAP — Looxltor ONCE (T PND TOBE A SIGNED GLADYS FINNEGAN ALL L CAN FIND IS PRINTS OF YouRS AND’ THE BOYS....UMM.. HOLD ON If WHATS THIS HERE.ON THaTs WHAT / sAiDT SHE WANTS CASTILE Soap/ WHO EVER HEARD OF SOAP MADE OUT OF CAST STEEL/