The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, April 18, 1931, Page 16

AEG. U. 9. PAT. OFF. © 1931 BY NEA SERVICE. INC. “Oh, nonsense, mamma! In the first place we couldn't afford a divorce— Now where was I1.— Ruth struck out—” NOW YOU TELL ONE PUBLICITY AGENTS “Are you in favor of women taking Part in public affairs?” “It's all right if you really want the affairs made public.”—Tit-Bits. A PROMISE Bobby: fades away, mummy. Is that true? Mother: Yes, darling. “Then why doesn’t nurse fade? ‘Daddy often tells her she's a beauty.” “She'll fade away tomorrow, dear.” —Tit-Bits. UNSELFISH NEGLECT Teacher: Unselfishness is volun- tarily doing things we need. Give a living example. Jimmy: Pa. He goes without a bath when he needs it.—Pathfinder. FORGIVEN As the rector was leaving » tem- perance meeting, he encountered one of his flock considerably the worse for drink. “Oh, William!” he exclaimed. “1 regret to find you in this state. I'm sorry! I'm sorry—very sor “Well,” muttered the ‘a you're really sorry, I forgive you."— Tit-Bits. YOU CAN’T WIN Jake—I hear Dick is in the hospital. Pete—Yep. Caught in the rain and tried to economize by not taking a taxicab. Now he’s got pneumonia. Jake—And Tom's in the hospital, too? Pete—Yep, he took a taxicah.—Life. There's nothing to distinguish the classes in America except money and the jury's verdict. All either party needs to achieve} victory next time is to find scimebody the voters aren't mad at. Teacher said that beauty | | fit. jserve as sparring partner. PROGRESSIVE Archie: Why do you call me “Pil- jgrim?” Mabel: Well, every time you call you make a little progress. — Path- finder. GRANDPA WAYBACK SAYS Maybe the reason Cupid makes so many wild shots is because he aims at their hearts while looking st their hoisery. The country used to be full of ten- der consciences and calloused hands; now it is full of calloused consciences and tender hands. It's not a good idea to trust the fel- low who says he is boss in his own home; he'll lie about other things, too. The newspaper's uses are many. One of them is to hide behind when |you don’t want to look your wife in the eye. | A sure way to locate a missing rela- j tive is to have it rumored that you |have inherited a million dollars. | No woman ever gets so fat that she can’t run up a bill, Demanding better roads, better ;Schools and better police service; then demanding lower taxes.—Amer- | icanism. | {| People should love the church. It's | the only institution that never has a “no parking” sign out in front. America’s navy should be the most No other has a rum {leet to | Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS 1. Undeveloped lower « Delighttul regions Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle 1. Negative . Force air noisily through the nore % Flying mammal 12. Guido’s high- est note 13. Inert gaseous element of the air 14. Yale 15. Signified 17. Pertaining to the heaviest known sub- [on] sjeje {0} 44, Adherent of the Crown - Take heed of 46. Genus of the at ©; 48. Pertaining to war 1. Ventilate or growl igh mountala lece ce 35. Rina of fuel i Concernin | Age . Thing 56. Anxious ie dl Beet ie | P IATL rie lAlsie} eve S005 OGEou 9. Laments . Title of Mohammed . Twitching . Fairy tale monster . Cozy . Passageway |. Unoecupied Piece of rock - Binding fabrics 25. Rub,.out . European country 31. Makes a sue- cessicn of slight sounde One who goes in . King of Beaste 38, Diplomacy ; Delineate 43. Heavens ; Demolish . Swiss river . Contend 48. Drinking vessel . Southern constellation . Statute : Cooled lavas Hawalian ied ee elviels: . Carpenter's toot DOWN |. River bottom . Mexican rubber tree |. Mother of Perseus . Reaches - Act . Finish WELL = IT'S A GREAT RELIEF To KNOW THAT HENRIETTA AND 1 HAVE MADE UP AT. LAtT= THE WORLD SEEMS FULL OF ROSES AGAIN= NO MATTER WHAT You SAY ABOUT HENRIETTA = You'ut NAVE TO ADMIT YHAY SHE'S TRUE BLUE - ONE GIRL IN A MILUON = AND WHEN SHE TELLS YOU THERE 13 NO OTHER PERSON IN THE WORLD Bur you~ SHE MEANS IY - ARE You FRECKLES sodineell FRECKLES AND HIS AND WANING A SOUABBLE WT “THE OWNER, CHK AND GLADYS INSPECT “THE fe APARTMENT THAT THE GIRL FRIEND Nice Neigh- bors! UNINITTINGLY SIGNED A AW AUNTIE BLO: THE ALLEY RANGERS DON'T CARRY MBRELLAS, sissy! . MAYBE WE CAN Bear THE TRAIN INTO ELKUART, Ritey 2 THE GUMPS—EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT AND THIS ‘Yom CARR-- HUH! MJ WHAT A FOOL | WAS Yo BE JEALOUS OF A LITTLE UPSTART LIKE HIM= WHY~ HE'S JUST A FRIEND OF NERS = THAT'S ALL =~ AN’ ANNWAN T ISNT RAINING Sage ALONG HERE 1S WHERE ZL USUALLY PASS THE CENTURY... THERE'S THE RAILROAD, RIeuT THROUGH THE FRONT ENTRANCE AND HOW DO vou DISPOSE OF WE GARBAGE 2 Th’ HEcK WITH GOIN’ T TH' STORE ON A AICE SPRING MORNING LIKE THIS! 1’ GONNA RENEW MY ACQUAINTANCE witH nNeaTuRE! WELL» 1 SPOSE IT coup WORSE 5 ’ AH, STUNNING, BIG-— HEARTED OAK, (© You COULD SPEAK WHAT WouLo ‘rou “Tece + 7 MMs LESSEE ~-- WERES MY ROCKET GUN ~~ | N'CASTEEN ---- GWELL ! )’GANDWICHES ~ FRIENB=. . JD We'LL BE A FRIEND. To 81M ToO~, Like A CAT y WOULD BE To TWO OR THREE Lire MOTHERLES ‘Reg U.5. Pat O83 Covytigh NGERS GO INTO A HUDDLE - THERE'S ELICHART, NOW." @ I CAN cee THE RAILROAD | suops!” JA WELLZTHEY CAN SUST “TAKE -BAKK THEIR: OLD LEDGE . THEY TRICKED ME_ INTO SIGNING wl ! OW CHICK, \NHAT ARE WE GONG To -]) v0 > / HEY, Ya NUT! (‘tL TELL YA wHaT HE'D Ws SAN, NHATs REMINDS ME ! L6H IL 1. CERTAINLY WiLL 1 WAS. FORGETTIN’ SOMETHIN’ NEES “THESE PASAMAG-~- i] PROMISED BABE WD SPEND TH’ ee i NIGHT WITH HER - ViNeRT te