The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, April 8, 1931, Page 10

“If you want them to keep you company, lady, I'd say these hya- cinths would be easier to get along with.” f : NOW YOU TELL ONE ANILE AND SENILE Ninety-six New York laws that fought to be repeated have been picked out by a committee of the City club. They are described as both “anile and senile.” They include: A law prohibiting the purchase of Jand from Indians. A law against injuring the Onon- @aga Salt works. A law against wearing the in- signia of social or military organiza- tions. A law against Easter parades. Any many others. It would be a very good thing to Tepeal these foolish statutes and thousands more in other states. As long as they stand on the books, how can anybody seriously contend that there is any majesty in the law or that the test of a good citizen is that the should observe the law?—Judge. Thank goodness’ groceries aren't prohibited, so our friends don't call to get theirs free. GENTLE TOUCH 1 You know you always say it’s| money that talks. Hubby—Yes, why? Wifey—Well, I think you'd leavera little here to talk to me through the day. I get so lonesome. — Chicago News. That fellow in the fable who blew both hot and cold would have been a darned poor sax player. If she exchanges her golden band wedding ring for a modern circle of platinum, he gets his own breakfast. Don't weep about losing your shirt. ‘Think how a similar tragedy woula affect Gandhi. A FREE LESSON N OF AT THE THEATRE LAST NIGNT= Tom CARR - AGAIN TOLD HER OF THE SUCCESS HAS THE $10,000.92 THAT SHE TOM CARR STOCK IN VALUE — BUT SHE FINDS HERSELF MADLY IN WITH TOM = COMBINATIONS! THAT 1S SKEEZIXS LATEST CONTRIBUTION TO POSTMARK COLLECTING. THE ALLEN RANGERS ARE GOING “THROUGH “THE LIST ATLAS AND ARE GETTING SOME WIERD GROUPINGS. NEXT, TO GET THE FOuU'RE AT THE FACTORY — ——— OT ONLY INVESTED IN INCREASED Love —— WELL ~ TOM= i ny MAN = Nov DON'T KN Tv YET — BUT woo dee = IF 1 CAN ONLY FROM i ial ANO KEEP U APPEARANCES — WHAT A HUSBAND HE WILL MAKE + A NEW UST TO GET. POST OFFICES IN THE Ses SNS POPE, MISSISSIPPI — CARDINAL, VIRGINIA— BIGHOP, CALIFORNIA — PRIEST, TENNESSEE AN’ NUNN, UTAH. Pablo KEEP WELL = THERE'S ONE THING "LL CONFIDE YO THE WORLD — AS MOST GIRLS DO WHEN PURSUING 4 MAN — NOT ~ HENRIETTA = LL MAKE A Bi@ STRONG STEEL CAGE To PuT HIM IN~ AND KEEP HIM THERE WHEN } DO GET HIM ~ SKEEZIX, I'VE GOT JON, 4) ILLINOIS. NOW | WANT HAPPY, KENTUCKY — H JOLLY, TEXAS — SMILE, KENTUCKN AND GLEE, PENNSYLVANIA. BALL, ANY CHAIN PENNSYLVANIA . YM NOT GOING TO &PEND ALL OF MY TIME MAKING A NET TO CATCH HIM IN= EVENING SHADE ARKANSAS-\ COCO, WEST VIRGINIA— NUTT MIDNIGHT, MISSISSIPPI] AN’ GOODNIGHT, OKLAHOMA. MELLO — TOM -DEAR- Do YoU KNOW THAT Nou FORGOT ONE OF YOUR GLOVES LAST NIGHT ? ) HAVE IT FOR YOU IF YOU'LL STOP ON THE WAY HOME THIS EVENING = CAROLINA— HEADS, MISSISSIPPI — THESE TUL TRADE YOU FOR ‘EM. AS NOODLE, TEXAS — PATES, NORTH = =) ABOUT . GOOD INTENT, the bashful admirer. tionate?” “Is Ne affectionate?” replied the good-looking girl. “Indeed he is. Here, Fido! Come, doggie, and show Jack how to kiss me.”—Hummel, Hamburg. “Is he affec- RIGHT AT THE START “You are here to give evidence about the quarrel—were you there at the beginning of the hostility?” “Yes, I was a witness at the wed- ding.”—Die Muskete, Vienna. WEARING EXPERIENCE A man accompanied by his wife visited a tailor to pick out a suit. The wife disagreed with his selection. “Oh, well,” she said, after a lengthy argument, “please yourself. I sup- pose you are the one who will wear the clothes.” “Well,” observed the husband meekly, I didn’t suppose you'd want to wear the coat and vest.” — Tit- Bits. NO MORE STEW “Did you rescue your poor friend who was captured by cannibals?” “Unfortunately, when I arrived he had already been scratched cff the menu.”"—Hummel, Hamburg. Southern Democrats seem willing to bury the hatchet if they can reach Raskob's neck. | Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle 14. Binas with 1. Specimens fabric again & arms, mana . Iridescent gem fact 3 . Officeholders 46. Church dign! We sim 16. Running mele nye a le passage Pemue. . Type square . 14. Jowisn month : Conse” 29. ot 8 Wite of 20. Pronoun Grech letter 21. Nautical hail . Dwelling place ing call Perched 23, Searches . Former ruler thorough! . Emphatic type 25. Luzon savage Light one- 36. Hil; So. forse ear- riage 37. Part of . Give forth rt 28. Fall in drope eNO stor? 29. Butts up var. 31, Professional |. Make ready 34, Sea eagio 60. Fath ‘Theatri he fee sie 35, Lease again §9- Father cent ety 51. One whe de pies a ie Meety a 64. Toward the . . . Towar 37. Labels 6 Becteve state & Public store left side of 38,.Keep com- 65. Near houses & vessel are $6. Sum and aver- 7. A serration 67. Small sting- or Ges- ‘age of 8. 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Bone ae 7 apr i AS lid ial FRECKLES) TToe5 up FRIENDS ME TRAIL OF Tue THIEF K\NHO STOLE OLD MAN HecTor's Prize Well, of All Things: By Blosser MOM’N POP SALESMAN SAM STEELE WAS GROUND LEAD FROM A WINDOW IN HECToR'S House TOWARD THE RAILROAD STATION wow DARLING APARTMENT / PLACE, BUT, iF WE CAN'T] AFFORD IT, WELL HANE To) SCOUT AROUND FOR SOME-| DH WORK -YOU GO SEE WHAT] > IT'S UKE 1TS For vou, sam! 1S THE ABANDON Hope HosPITAL f (T'S THE NICEST ; PLACE I'NE SEEN, EXCEPT ONE ON STREET, OF COURSE, THAT « 1S MORE EXPENSIVE GRoor La] i 407 (UA fia “i Wid 0'% LZ, _ BOY! THINeS ARE GETTIN HOT How AN’ ID HATE To MISS | WITH HIME Say GIBYE TH NON. TN IN AN AWFUL, THIS 1S GOOD VAWE AND, (F You ARE REALLY INTERESTED, I'D ADVISE You TO MAKE A, DEPOSIT ON IT. THERE 1S ANOTHER PARTY L DONT THINK T COULD FIND ANYTHING BETTER FOR “THE “MONEY AND, AS LONG AS THE, GROOM STREET DLACE 1S OUT, 1D BETTER € THIS a OY { H a ‘ WINGS ARE SLOW--. AND, ATER ALL, ID BETTER TAKE A REDUCTION “THAN WANE 4 ANACANCY ON MY HINDS@: ° TILL CALL THAT YOUNG. COUPLE UP .-.GUNN «= GUNN = HERE ITS , MIGOSH, WHAT _DO THEY WANT OF ME? I NEVER, FEL BETTER wemy cieet ‘eau, THs 1s WELL, CIS (S DocTOR SPLEEN = sam Howor! ONE OF OUR PATIENTS, WILLY NICLY, WOULD LIKE To HAVE ‘You CALL TS see HIM AND SAY “CHEERIO” TO HIM. "1 TOLOIA So, WILLY! (& You'DA TAKEN My apvice Ya WouLON'T BE Here! ‘AN APPLE A Day KEEPS TH' DocToR away!” | Ty UAHA Pal py nip ( : LY