The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, March 10, 1931, Page 8

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, TUESDAY, MARCH 10, 1931 “Pll bet he won't forget me this time.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE ONE GOOD POINT Angry Client: The first time T wore this coat it split down the back. Tailor: Ah, that shows you how ‘well we sew our buttons on.—Pass- ing Show. SURE TO BE Motorist’s Wife: What lovely fleecy clouds. I'd just love to be up there sitting on one of them. Motorist: All right. You drive the car.—Tit-Bits. BARGAINING Tommy: Nurse, did you say you ‘woud kiss me if I were good all day? Handsome Nurse: Yes, dear, and wo I will now. Tommy: No, nurse. I have sold the kiss to my big brother for half a dollar.—Die Muskete, Vienna. MAKING IT PLAUSIBLE Judge—So you broke into the store Just to get a dime cigar? Then what were you doing at the safe? Defendant—I was just putting in the dime, your honor.— Capper's Weekly. There are two kinds of drivers— brakers and dodgers. You can tell the kind of by the location of the} dents. IN ADVANCE Bille; Say, mother, how much'm 1 worth? Mother: Why, you're million to me, my dear boy. Billie: Well, then, could you ad- vance me a quarter?—Pathfinder. worth a WAITING And now that Bishop Cannon and Gen. Butler have escaped retributive action the world will settle back and wait for them to get in trouble again. Charlotte News. Progress: Developing a car that ‘will do 245 miles an hour, thus neces- sitating the development of a motor- cycle that will do 275. THE REASON “How is Sillwell?” “Flat on his back.” “Why, I saw him dancing with a dizzy blonde last night.” “So did his wife!”—Pathfinder. It is estimated that imported pests cost America over $3,000,000 a year— |not counting bipeds. Free men are those who do as they please, except that they tip too much to avoid being cussed. A sophisticate is one who can say, “I'm sorry,” and make it sound like: “Go to the devil.” QUALIFIED This book is not badly written, but I only take work from authors who are well known. Author: Fine! My name's Smith. —Klods Hans, Copenhagen. Editor: MEASURE OF SUCCESS ‘Whoever is governor general of the Phillipines must be making good; his name never appears in the papers.— Los Angeles Evehing Express. Americanism: Offering great re- wards for slain bank robbers; doing almost nothing about 6,000 bank fail- ures in ten years. Daily Cross-word Puzzle . ACROSS -L Conficts 5 Good-by }® Sandwich ‘12. On the ocean 1%. Heated com- partment re GEO BO ROBE ee be 15. Close /16. Likeness of 0 ‘ag PETE, ind of apple Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzle iR| [om Talr| 4. Falls torwaré 6. Shuns 1. Coat with an alloy of tin an@ lead Insect ). Principal . Dry |. Entangles . Flowers . Journals Grate Feminine name tL LATS IT] removing skins 7 {85. Old form of 41. Membership \ thr paym jent 50. Hotel £ |36. Past 187. Behind a ves- 51 Native of wests ern Russia 2 |39. Japanese coin 62. Therefore (40. Fish sauce 53. Consumed 3. Come into view \43. Rugged moun- 54. God of war i tain crests 55. Inert gas of “ 148. Refashions the air fe (R[A[SIE} Take umbrage custody 5. Cylindrical 38. Diminisb to- Pale and sickly ‘ looking Peer Gynt's mother 42. Ancient slave 44. First gard again 46. Wi Hindy wom- 8. Self ‘an's carment : Male offspring TELL ME You DID-WHEN You DIDNT, wikt YoU? WELL YELL NouRSELE THAT YOU'RE NOT GETTINGA WHIPPING FOR IT SEE NOW IT SOUND: THAT'S ONCE NOU GOT CAUGHT) ¢ ee INA NICE BIG g SKEEZIX, WILL YOU NAME THE PRINCIPAL CITIES OF WISCONSIN. Beem WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT HE APPRECIATES THE KINDNESS OF HIS MANY FRIENDS WHO HAVE SENT HIM POSTMARKS FOR HIS COLLECTION. HE IS ADDING TO IT EVERY DAY. SOME OF THE MOST . UNUSUAL WILL BE REPRODUCED N THIS SPACE FROM TIME TO “TIME. THERE ARE OTHER NIFTY ONES BESIDES SANTA CLAUS, WNOIANA. KISSIMMEE, FLORIDA. AND DUSTY, WASHINGTON. WHERE DO You SuP POSE LITTLE GASOLINE ALLEY—STARTED YOUR COLLECTION MADISON, STRUM, TOMAH, ¥ POPPLE, WAUPOM, MOU THE MOTHT BIG FOOT, PRAM f IMPORTANT POTHT MARK IN THE UNITED THTATETH. IS ALL RIGHT AGAIN. FRECKLES) “2 House? Ger Him x AINTCHA Mom 2 OUT OF HERE pl AT once !! WELL, IT MAY BE O-KEW FOR GLADYS TO SIT ON CHICK’S LAP AND NECK HIM AND THROW KISSES AT HIM WHEN HE LEAVES, BUT, WHEN A WOMAN wouR AGE TRIES IT, IT'S A LAUGH. WOU DON'T SEE ME MAKING A SAP OF MYSELF. TACT my AGE! GOSH, “TH! WIFE CERTAINLY THREW TH’ HooKs INTa (AEG AT BREAkeasT! NOW THE ONLY War 1 CAN GET SQUARE IS To PICK THE IDEA OF BRINGING HIM IN THE House !! BY HAVIN’ A NICE Cave FoR You, \IITH CANDLES ON IT, LINDY ff HIM.- WHY DON'T You BAKE A Nice CAKE FOR HIM, WUE \NHY DONToHA, DO 1? sex, rm ONE OF “THE SAZZIEST TWO-STEPPERS THAT EVER SLID A SHOE OVER THE WAKI! HAVE Ya GIVEN “TH' GOLO FISH FRESH “‘HONEN'T. WATER , SAM © UN aS = = She tl THKEETHIX, | GOT THE SAME PLACE BIG FOLKS GO- 1 SUPPOSE = TELL HER THERE'S MORE COME FROM NEW NORK THAN ANNWHERE ELSE. REG. U. S. PAT. OFF. ©1931 BY NEA SERVICE, we: “Cex oui FINISHED Gi ER | Gave’ “esterday Ver! THEN -- Nor \T MATTERS,