The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, March 9, 1931, Page 9

“We're just out for the air, James, ‘But remember, this is the town car, so be careful to stay within the city limits.” pein eneneusten : NOW YOU TELL ONE JUST LIKE A MAN 1 SEE BY THE PAPERS “Beginning tomorrow the Daily Lewds will publish the astounding life story of Lottie Zeelch, Cleveland de- partment store clerk, who was just sentenced to prison for five days for creating a disturbance. In her story to, appear in daily installments, Mill Zeelch unashamedly reveals how drink and petting parties led to her downfall. The Daily Lewds believes that Lottie’s frank confession will serve as an object lesson to youth.”— Judge. DEAR COMPANIONSHIP ‘Wife—John, is it true that money talks? Husband— That's what’ they say, my dear. ‘Wife—Well, I wish you'd have a little here to talk to me during the day. I get so lonely.—Prairie Farmer. Fifty thousand years of mental de- velopment, resulting at last in the discovery that people should expose their hides to the sun as savages do. The ant, however, got his reputa- tion for industry in a land where the walks never got covered with snow. France makes debtors pay her in gold francs, worth about 20 cents and pays the English with paper francs, worth about ,4 cents, so she really doesn’t expect another row witii Ger- many. The most effective law is the un- written one everybody agrees on. Note how unfailingly the late comer takes his place at the tail end of the line. Urging people to have an pple may help the jobless. Eve got oid Adam a job of work that way. “Your husband is always complain- ing that he leads a dog's life.” “Yes, he comes home with muddy feet, makes himself comfortable on the hearth rug, waits until he is fed and often growls.”"—Lustige Kolner Zel- tung, Cologne. UNBECOMING Constable (having pulled up fair motorist “for speeding) —Forty at least, I said to myself as soon as you turned the corner. Indignant Driver—Nothing of the kind! It’s my hat makes me look old!—Passing Show. Why not send Wales to India? He is a good hand at bringing orders out of chaos. NO LEFT-HAND TURNS Airplane Passenger—How do you know your way back? a Pilot—I just notice the shape of the clouds and then it is easy.—I Travaso, Rome. Millions spent for education to de- velop thousands whose chief ambition is to get a hole in one. Laughs Last! Daily Cross-word Puzzle | ACROSS Solution of Saturday's Puzzle 11. Competition & Zalon 12 One's own ompact share 16, 160 suuare roa MESTO|LTO[SMMTIATPT REM is. Formery 14. Flower . Convened 15. Gum resin 20. Size of stot 16. Bellow le] 2. Minute blood 12, Abashea by vessel. consciousness [S| . Maiden of wrong 26, Head coverings 19. Protects an . Fortified invention (P| places 21 Amphibious Arouna rodent [A] . Suffering 22. Worship IN| 23, Make lace 24. Clear gain 25, Makes: Scotch 26. Pronoun 21. Olly substances 29. Smoking de- ice 30, Refuse 33. Japanese sash 34 Hindu wom- ‘en's garment 35. Disagreeable 49. Twitching to the t. e taste 60. Marry 36, Artificial Ian- £9" Nomerous 30. Prudent Dogma City In France . Elocutioniate . Fronts of buildings . Manual digit Ancient gove DOWN ernor of Judea |. Crust tacean Be defeated 49. Thrice: prefiz IM| le] [oj | le| [Al [e| [o | pre age 3. Kingdom in —_—50. Source of water a1, Silence 53. Make tardy West Africa 51. Silkworm $9. Negative 56. Soon 4. Makes cloth «2. State of the 40, Soup dish 58, Marcher 5. Prophet - Unton: abbr, 42, Mar 59, Italian coins = 6. Aged 63. Large bundle 43, Nourished 60. Calyx leat 7. The: French 64. Portable shele 44, Precipitous 62. Decades 8. Aduiterated ter 45. Truth 63. Endure 9. Circular ind!- . 58. Gaello 46. Head 64. Obliterate cators 57. Allow 41. Exist 65, Medieval Ital- 10. 100 square 58. Dance step 48. Mud fan house meters 61; Parent FRECKLES AND HIS FRIENDS Their Part! By Blosser ARY GOLD I$ NOW BUT A MEMORY — pedis ie ath ee SIMPLY ROLLS IN= THERE SEEMS NO END promise PROSPERTY HAS COME To HIM HE 1% RICH NOW— FAME AND FORTUNE! ARE SITTING ON MIS DOOR STEP — mee NE AND THE WIDOW ZANDER ARE SEEN TOGETHER CONSTANTLY — nnennanns + TOM IS ALWAYS SAD-| HE NEVER FORGETS LITTLE MARY = AND HENRIETTA NEVER NEGLECTS AN OPPORTUNITY TO BE WITH HIM= JO CHEER HIS LONELY HOURS — YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT THE BURGLAR? FINE! ‘LL BE DOWN AND DO ALL THE IDENTIFYING 1 CAN. wow! KNOWS HER OWN SEX— LISTEN TO THIS-"AT THE FIRST KISS A WOMAN'S MIND LEAPS TO THE ALTAR-A MAN TAKES IT AS AN ADVENT- URE-TO THE HUSBAND IT'S A EEN, KID, WHAT ER XA DOIN’ N' ON TH CURB? DOUBLE = ‘TRIPLE THEIR MONEY = ALL THAT 1 HAVE — TNE ONLY PIECE OF VEWELRY THAT 1S LEFT— ALL THAT STANDS BETWEEN ME AND STARVATION — 1 SHOULD BE ABLE TO IT'S WOMTANCE = MLL DO tT— DO You KNOW - MENRIETTA= 1 CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES- THE WAY BUSINESS 1S GROWING — THE MONEY Yo IT — AND WITH THE FOREIGN ORDERS Sake ARE COMING IN-- WE ARE COMPELLED To BUILD FACTORIES IN ALL THE FOREIGN COUNTRIES+ AND WHEN WE DO THIS = THE STOCK, 1% GOING UP BY LEAPS AND ROUNDS — ANYONE WHO INVESTS IN TOM CARR: $ToCk NOW WILL DOWBLE — TRIPLE THEIR MONEY IN A MONTH = GASOLINE ALLEY—A SLIM CHANCE Sena SS NOW JUST GNE ME A CHANCE TO IDENTIFY THAT TWENTY-TWO BUCKS HE TOOK OUT OF MY THOSE ARE CERTAINLY, PHYLLIS’ AMBER BEADS! SHE'LL BE TICKLED ABOUT HE'S ABOUT THE RIGHT SIZE BUT OF COURSE HE FLASHED A UGHT IN) MN FACE AND | CAN'T SAY DEFINITELY. LOOK LUKE “| RECOGNIZE ‘EM. AN' TLL SHOVEL BILL,FoR FIXIN’ LINDY'S ¢ Sow OFF WALKS LEG WAS TWENTY- SEVEN DOLLARS AN’ FRECKLES PAID IT HIMSELF.. Do YoU KNow WHAT WE OUGHT IT... DOESNT LINDY GIVE ANENT MUCH US LOTS OF RIDES AN’ = —AND GET AN EARFUL OF THIS—'A FORCED LANDING \S THE ONE & MAN MAKES, WHEN HE STARTS OUT FOR HAR! HAR! WOW?! Boy! SWE CRACKS THE OLD NAIL RIGHT ON HERE'S ‘A WOMAN WHO THE REST OF IT! THIS 1S Goop !! ‘OU READ ALL. OF IT? LISTEN SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD MAKE HER HAPPY—USUALLY ABOUT AND EVENING CHORE’- SIX MONTHS AFTER SHE HAS Restin’, Tass att! V'D BE UP ON MY THES SELLIN' DIS GUM LE 1 HAD} AROUND -ALL DAY WalTIN' ANY cusTOmERs! X FER HIS SHIP TA come Int Tite Yi < =| y y} ¢ id DEN (© (T DOES come Ie 1 IN, HE WON'T KNOW HES.NO SAILOR! How Tea RUN (Th WOW ABOUT LENDING ME A MILUION TWA NEXT WEEK, Boorse 2