The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 22, 1931, Page 16

a ee eee eee THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, THURSDAY, JANUARY 22,-1981 , SIDE GLANCES - ‘Oh, Tm planning the most wonderful trip; six evening dresses, T sport outfits, four two new coats—” | NOW YOU TELL ON: ALL THERE BUT— American Legion Monthly: A new watchman had been employed to sit up nights by the road construction job and see that no one made away with the red lanterns or other para- phernalia. When he was due to be relieved after his first night on the job, the foreman approached him and asked him if everything was all right. “Well, ," said the new hand modestly. “I don't want to brag about myself, but I don’t think I've done so bad for a beginner. I checked up on everything just before you came, an’ there's only one thing miss- ing—the steam roller.” So all that’s needed to prevent un- employment is to find a market for advice, Then there are the men who can't pay the grocer but know just how a widow should invest her insurance money. Animals are queer. You never sce a herd of hungry deer gazing at a field of grass wherein one full deer worries about his surplus. A BENEFACTOR Capper's Weekly: Willie—Did Mr. Edison make the first talking ma- chine, pa? Pa—No, my son. God made the first. talking machine, but Edison made the first one that could be shut off. Kings must be superior. They are the only men in public life who aren't blamed for anything. GOT HIM ON THE LIST Chicago Journal of Commerce: Our mail convinces us that not a single sucker list was lost in the great market collapse in the latter part of 1929, Other nations fear that talkies will make all the world speak English. Not the talkies we've heard. BELIEVE IT OR NOT Capper's Weekly: A Hebrew and a Scotchman had a collision. They both got out of their cars and for a few moments the argument taxed hot. Then the Jew said: “Can't we fix this thing up? Here, take a drink,” and he handed the Scotchman a flask. The Scotchman |drank a second and a third. When |the liquor was all consumed, the Jew- lish person called a policeman. “Here, officer,” he cried, “this fellow smash- jed into me. He's drunk, just smell |his breath.” i 3 ! “Girls whose chief interest is dress are more popular with men than oth- ers.” What others? A great naturalist says there is a growing tendency to do less for the same wage. This isn’t true, however, of the wages of sin. Scientists who think friction always causes heat, should observe that be- tween tenants and the janitor. , Poor prophet! Before the event | nobody will believe him, and after it | happens he is but one of a milion I- | ere guys. DAD KNOWS ’EM | Chicago News: Son—What's a co- | incidence, dad? Dad—-Well, a good example is when ithe road happens to turn the same |way as a woman motorist. A democracy is a land in which it lis impudent to disagree with a man | who makes more money than you do. | another need of the times 1s some way to slow up the lawmakers until the jail-builders catch up. | Correct this sentence: “I'm not in- | fallible myself,” said the man, “so I |mever think another dumb just be- |cause he doesn't agree with me.” | Daily Cross-word Puzzle Solution of Yesterday's Puzzie 9 foo 80 ters 10. Kind of free» stone a ©: ft vis Gesate ATTTSTTY agate ro lia SIOILIOMMS|IIMIOINI lin Take ont (J RIAIL. iP: 16. Macs ipaa 5 EINMBAIL TIE] [T 12, Observed 20. Bottom of the toot £1. Type measures 22, B80 feet 23. Syllable of hes- Station 24. Old masical note or If 49. Salt of oleic acid 61, Form of ine flores [rit OlATL} AMD DORE EIRIAIS| 2 [DIE INITISM—SIEINIT) 35 5m 40. Mort DUWN ing sot 1, Hobbies 41, Speck a Atrican arrow 43. nae to and a iver ip Egypt 48. Above 4. So may It be 44. Aeld trait 5. Old exclamas .S i XK Yt RIBUNE’S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND FEATURES | FRECKLES AND HIS FRIENDS Now for Some Fun! By Blosser MOM’N POP Mother— THEGUMPS—PALS :) SHE IS SWERT.— THOUGHTFUL! NAS THE CLASS AND POISE OF A QUEEN — AND DRESSES AND WEARS NER CLOTHES LIKE ONE = ETHINK SNE 18 SINCERE = HER MANNERS ARE CHARMING = SHE I$ SO SYMPATHETIC — SHE'S A GREAT PAL HENRIETTA CERTAINLY LOOKED STUNNING TONIGHT— Yve NEVER SEEN A MORE BEAUTIFULLY GOWNED WOMAN ~ : “TLE MARY GOLD = poate Ne LIKE MER = ‘MERE WAS ONLY MAR’ TN ” + au = BUT THEY CANNOT CHEAT ME oe Het Saureul THOUGHTS | HAVE Cdl " SHOSE HOURS WE SPmNT TOGETHER FROM ME = Sur ay EMORY OF WER IS A PARADISE IN WHICH I WILL ALWAYS, Wark ee AND BVEN FATE AS CRUEL AS I 1 WAS BLANIN’ 1 WAS A GROWN SKEEZIX, WHAT HAS BECOME OF THE BATTERIES IN THIS ‘EM FORA FLASHLIGHT? I'VE GOT | TELEPHONE, TO_GO OUT TO TH SAY, TAG...00 YOU KNOW NHERE THAT OLD SLED OF MING 1S.-.THE ONE I HAD LAST WINTERS. I Gor AN ipeal! I'VE BEEN PLAYING: VERY MUCH, CHICK, BUT 1 ROPE “OU AREN'T THINK- ING SERIOUSLY OF MARX j. MKOUR MEssIR — OUR PRICES START FROM —DO,RA, ME, FAYSO,LA, TI, Do! Now “THs one PLANING (S @ GRAND OOWN RIGHT: Eatse—| rsa GRAND PLedtn PLANS? ; TAS ON IT! 6, ME AROUND SKTY BucKs ! QT I S'POSED I WAS TH’ BY NEA SER, HE xe on