The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 6, 1931, Page 10

OA ae ee nes a er s+ Be estima sere +. «+ THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, TUESDAY, JANUARY 6, 1931 you're exhausted.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE | FRIENDS Chicago News: Saunders, the fa- mous chain-grocery man who has made and lost huge fortunes several times, was speaking on the element of personal contact in the business. “It's a funny thing,” he stated, but @ person can buy provisions from a man for ten years and the man still remains that impersonal institution known as “the grocer.” “But ask him for an empty packing ‘box and he becomes your personal friend.” The modern youth may do more kissing, but he doesn't know the de- light of kissing a girl and tasting nothing but girl. The objection to giving your wife ‘an allowance is that you can't enjoy feeling generous every day when she asks for two bits. Tim —I borrowed my roommate's on mine. Bachelor Uncle—Baby six weeks eld. you say. Talk yet? Proud Father—Oh, no; not yet. Bachelor Uncle—Boy, eh? Delmonte—Sleep well in the coun-| try? Melachrino—First night I couldn't sleep at all. After that I hired a farmer boy to sit in my auto and blow: the horn all night. Then I got along fine. “Pop, did the cavemen have to milk the dinosaurs?” “I don't know. Why? “Well, if they didn’t have canned milk in those days what did they put in their coffee?” Funk—I learned today that our tattooed sailor friend Joe has sued Bonebraker the osteopath. Bunk—What for; did you hear? Funk—He claims the osteo threw all of his pictures out of focus. | Mama—But, Johnnie, if your ear- ache is better, why do you keep on crying? Johnnie—I'm waiting for D-daddy to c-come home. He's never s-seen me with a earache, Helen — All extremely bright men are conceited, anyway. | __Howe—Oh, I don’t know; I'm not.— The Pathfinder. Wifey—John, there's a burglar at j the silver and another in the pantry jeating my pies. Get up and call for | help. | Hubby (at window)—Police! | Doc- | tor!—The Pathfinder. | | Sherlock Holmes—TI perceive that ‘you are in a very despondent mood. |In fact, you don’t care what happens | to you. Client—How on earth did’ you de- | duce that? | Sherlock ‘Holmes—You came here jin an automobile, and you let your wife drive it. | “You should have weighed your words,” said a friend to a defeated candidate at the last election. }.,. Yes.” chimed in another friend, “and you should also have given short measure.” Miss Ouri--You never go out at |night with your husband any more. Mrs. Ippi—No. The only thing that old relic takes out at night now is ‘his teeth.—The Pathfinder. | Divorcee—Won't you permit your ‘daughter to marry my son? Bjones—No, but she can be a sis- ‘ter to him, if you wish. Divorcee—Oh, dear Mr. Bjones! | This is so sudden.—-The Pathfinder. | patrick—And whose funeral. is | that? | Michael—O'Reilly's. | Patrick— What? You don’t mean | to say that O'Reilly is dead? Michael—You don’t suppose they're just practicing on him, do you?—The | Pathfinder. | Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzle 10. Sharpshooter © Regions. is Boom St oom O 11 Enumerate IRJEJE] “* inmentation 1 Along EIU] is: Cony 1s. Coston or S|S|A] 21. ‘The Law ot 0) HIN) oses 47, Danger TTILIN] 24, Not strarent 1% Knock R 26. Note of the Make fleshy nN seale 2. Hebrew letter 23, Plerce with a 28. Uncomman)- cative ointed weapon 25, Fish-eating diving bird 6 Side of aw tri jovered with a thick binck Ngaid 4 31. Catnip 33, Southern Southern con- im] x Olm|z| stellation enckoo $4, Stammer 88, Eats awa; 5. Legal claim b4, Symbol for cn neatom 7, a Sire it of a race track 4%. Metal Marks of blows 60. Finished L DOWN 40. Newly married 1. Crescent- woman she, haped aaa u : mimi i | OWS WEHeOE WW OM Mba . Applied use- SALESMAN WHAT I'LL GET OF I'LL — TRIBUNE'S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND FEATURES = __|‘[’ THE GUMPS— A SURE CURE 1 KNOW = BUT EXERCISE 1S THE SECRET — IF YOU WANT YO REDUCE ~ EXERCISE I$ THE ONLY THING THAT WILL bo iT — ONE KIND = AND THIS WILL BO THE auc AT YOUR MEALS = SIT YOURSELF YHE TABLE = PUT BOTH NANDS ON THE TABLE = TAKE A GOOD HOLD sovE Batiaece is FAR AWAY FROM POSSIBLE — hepEar THIS THREE TIMES A DAY = MORNING = NOON AND NIGHT = ON DEAR - ON DEAR — HE WOLIDAYS WERE TOO MUCH FOR ME — QUST STUFF - STUFF - STUFF - 1. MUST HAVE GAINED EIGHT POUNDS — VE GOT To GET RID OF IT SOME HOW — WHAT SHALL | DO ? EXERCISE — “THAT SOUNDS EASY ENOUGN — BUY THERE'S A LOY OF WORK CONNECTED WITH <7 a " = H AE eee Y ves Bur we B 5S EE BUILT FT TO MAKE ie MONEN ON FOR THE RANGERS. OURSELVES WHEN WE HANENIT ANN CASH CUSTOMERS. THATS FING..WHAr WAVE You BEEN DOING % No... IVE BEEN TAKING IT EASY, MOM... DON'T Worry ABOUT ME " 1S THAT You, SON? I HOPE You HAVENT BEEN oveRDOING THINGS...You Now You ARENT QUITE BACK TS NORMAL. j BUT BELIEVE ME, I'm NOT GONNA OVER, DO TLL IM SURE IM AS STRONG AS HOPPED A RIDE ON A Bos. SLED, SKATED FoR A WHILE AN’ HAD A HOT GANE } OF SHINNY..... Taking It Easy! By Blosser M&S. BORING 15. SO WORRIED. HER MOTHER IS VISITING WwW SPAIN AND TLL BETCHA, IF LINDY WAS KING OF SPAIN, ALL THE! PEOPLE WOULD BE CHEERING FOR HIM SUPPOSED TO ELY FROM MADRID TO PARIS LAST RANE IN THE PLANE WITH HIM WHEN HE FLEW ACROSS A UTTLE GIRL . AND COLUMBUS DISCOVERED AMERICA, Pat: TLL GET “OU LIKES TALK ABOUT HIM DON'T CALL ME A GYOPER, Ya . 1S MAN Sars “ou HIT Burl 5otIts TH CARE AN’ THATS ALMA _ON TTHE Gay OU HIT TT HUT HIN ON THe NASAL ORGAN OF A HORSE ATTACHED THERETO! “HERETO sow! war ROMP inst PM. cost ME WET FGE.76 ~- LEvS SEE ---E ap. ce FROM THAT +--+ \EANES ME B28, 75" LESS THAN NOTHIN’ vive on Yor as | 1, Sheet Boots wns elenr WOMEN Sit AND HER] Sine wichas. wm \kee ae ee BUDDIES | wears PLENTY