The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, December 18, 1930, Page 8

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1980 VWE BEEN LOOKING YHE TOWN | OVER FOR A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR MY WIFE = AND FOR THE LIFE OF ME = | CAN'T THINK WHAT TO GET = CAN YOu TELL ME WHERE 1 MIGHT FIND SOMETHING 7 PERHAPS You CAN EASE HER WOW LONGr HAVE You BEEN a MARRIED ¢ . We WE'VE BEEN MARRIES OVER TWENTY YEARS = GREAT GUNS! OM WELL— RIGHT DOWN IN THE BASEMENT THEN Tae BARGAIN COUNTER Yo YouR LEFT— How ON EARTH OID YOU EVER CET THAT OUT O MV NARD WHEN (T WOULONT GO THROUGH THE GATE? OVER NOW, “Tl bet if we could borrow that c! ‘himney he'd notice our stockings.” . NOW YOU TELL ONE “Mrs. Fake—My dear, that gown is perfectly stunning! Does your hus- band know you've bought it? Mrs. Bosch—Well, he stayed out all night. He knows I've bought some- thing! Yerxa—Beever claims he curdd his cold in 24 hours by some secret scheme of his own. -How do you im- agine he did it? Pisheye—I know his secret. He got everybody to tell him how to cure it —and then he did just the opposite. Gumm—Do you know any reliable rule for estimating the cost of living? Boyle—Yes. Take your income— whatever that may be—and add 10 per cent. Roach—You certainly have a won- derful vocabulary, old man. Bugg—Yes, I wish I were single again so I could use it. Nowthen—Onetrack never gives up. | He spent ten years looking for a needle in a hay-stack, but he finally found it. Afterall — Yeah, and now he can’t thread it! Parkavenue—That's not the mother of those children, it's the nurse. Centralpark—How do you know? Parkavenue—She knows them by their names. Rubb—It's all right to claim we still got prosperity, but the drug store business “looks awful, I tell you, on the face of things. Itinn—Yeah, that’s where it looks the worst. Doctor—Have you been tiring this patient out with a lot of needless conversation? Nifty Nurse—Oh, no, I've done every bit of the talking myself. Kitty—Poor Alicia is 30 years old. JACK BE NIMBLE a fi “Jack dear, why are some women called Amazons?” “Well, my dear, I remember learn- ing that the Amazon river has the largest mouth——.”—Answers. Bim—What's the idea of all the luggage. Going away on a long trip? Bam—No, the church is holding a rummage sale and I’m taking my things over to the office until it’s over, Mr. Asker—How much for travel- er's insurance from New York to San Francisco? Ticket Agent—Two dollars by the way of New Orleans, and one hun- dred and fifty by the way of Chicago. Diamond—Does your wife take as- sistance from you with her bridge game? Spades—Only monetary assistance. Mother-in-law-elect—Well, well, so you are to be my son-in-law? Victim— Great Caesar, I hadn't thought of that! “How is Lazy Lemuel getting on since his accident?” “Oh, he's lots better now since the doctor told him he'd never be able to work again.” Hutsinpiller—But why did you buy a dachshund for the children? Haasenpfeffer—So that they can all pet him at once. Asker—Well, what did the Novem- ber elections prove? Catty—Yes, and it seems only a few years ago that she was 29! Teller— That the fellow with the most votes gets, elected, that’s all. Daily Cross-word Puzzle AUBOSS Solution of Yest 1, Northern ame ie NIAIP] AMON 6 [WiAINIE| Mfelwis| 4%, Pace 1% Threes prefix 18, Vocal solo 14, Odds Scotch 46. Totalt 1. Deposited 38, Genus of the 28. Esters ab Bi im eret emit $1. Unkuits 8% Go 86 Biblical bigh lest iso] [Al CIAININIABBO/T|TIEIR| Regged moun- IIE/S/T (C11 INIGMMEIN|! [SIL IE} iR]t [TE] erday’s Puzzle (SIL UTTESTTTARIE MESIATP] [ERSTIEIR: IN] angel AQOS BOSE [Al [slo 3 Outat a 4. Ancient capt. *% Author of tal 4 “The Bubal- AND HIS SALESMAN SAM BOUTS AND HER BUDDIES L wwe AB Y WORKING , SURPRISE FOR / WORKING WIS OLD You , UNCLE = CHICK GUNN UM SUST TRYING ON MY cHReT MAS PRESENT FROM You —THIs (WOMAN, ARE ou BABY Lame coprT— $i500 | RILEY'S Comin’ FLvIN” LIKE A MAD FOOL... SOMETHING MUSTA HAPPENED! wu te MAN, 6S USUAL, T SUPPOSE - “Wet . BOT we MAS & SoB wots AN ADVERTISING AGENCY. WHAT! eicosu, IN YOUR RIGHT THsts 3uST WOBAD — "ror WE ADVERTISING WOTTA BREAK FoR TH’ FRANS, wien YOU sHowto uP --- An’ $1500! Gosu, How | WISH Some BRAINLESS SAP HAD PROPOSED To “ou BEFORE WE WERE marrieo! LUFT IT OVER? Se: Une ay a §| § 5 :( WS TEMPERATURE Is, UIGW AND UIs Puce ABOVE NoRMaL, GUT THANK UEANEN Tue GUN SHOT IS ONLY A NWOUND... SOON'S UE Bae nc LEY MAKES ‘A SAFE LANDING AND UNCLECLEM IMMEDIATELY TAKES CHARGE OF FRECKLES, WHO STILL IS RUNNING A FEVER, AS A RESULT OF ‘A WOUND THAT WE 6ETS Home IN THE SECRET |: TUNNEL... = JUST “WE SAME “They are PAMING WIM $40 A WEEK and ZT WONDERED IF You'D do ME A FINOR — LET CrIck COME ONGR WERE “Wis ENENING- ea TERRIBLY Y NOT SEEING HIM t THars SUPPOSED TO BE A smart REMARK— TU STAY TILL t KNOW UES ALL QiGUT=THEN TUL UIE MYSELF OFF To ‘THE wis. 1 CANT STAND LUNN INSIDE f GeTS GeTTer Tu see NES, AND 1F THAT YOUNG SCAMP SETS WS FOOT ty “TWWS WOUSE, WE'LL QUT LT HAPPENS THAT ONE O10! O10, EH? Wel, t WISH HE HAD’ | maRRIEd sou! Wey, tS FROM gop! He sae FoR ME TO COME HOME AT ONCE wo GOSH!!! WONDER WOT WE WANTS 27222