The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 18, 1928, Page 4

} PAGE FOUR THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE § RIDAY, MAY 18, 1928 $102,000 on his behalf in the California presi- dential primary campaign. George Creel, Kathleen Nor Blanche Bates and other good folks who backed Senator Walsh's campaign, have not been heard from. William Randolph Hearst, always a prince of spenders, probably did well by Senator Reed, i 2% ae aa [ The Bismarck Tribune An lIadependent Newspaper THE STATE'S OLDEST NEWSPAPER (Established 1873) Published by the Bismerck Tribune C-mpany, Bis-| ‘marck, N. D., and entered at the postoffice at Bis- George D. Mann ccrsteessse-Prowident and Publisher! Although in the argot of a popular indoor Ceorge D. Mann r ‘ 7 pastime, it appears there was no advantage in Subscription Rates Payable in Ad ithe draw. E Daily by carrier, per year .......+... One of the interesting things about the pass- Daily by mail, per year, (in Bismarck) . Daily by mail, per year, (in state outside Bismarck) Daily by mail, vutside of North Dakota jing of the political hat is the salesmanship that «. 6u0| attends it + 6.90 The tactics vary from a frank shakedown, rr often effective, to a sort of weird incantation, 230, 0Y a simple twist of the wrist and turn of the jhand. It is all in the game. 189; Somebody is always trying to save somebody | from something, everywhere—at a price. Often |the actual saving accomplished is nothing like in proportion to the budgeted price. But there is one fine thing about the system. There is nothing compulsory about it. Zeal is often as valuable a campaign contribution as |money. A combination of the two is well-nigh invincible. Yet it is usually well to keep both eyes on | your pocketbook when the political hat is being | passed. ‘Weekly by mail, in state, per year 2 state, three years for . itside of North Dako a, Member Audit Bure Member of The Associated Press The Associated Press is exclusively entitled to the use for republication of all news uispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in this newspaper, and also the local news of spontaneous origin published herein. All rights of republication of all other mat- ter herein are also reserved. Foreign Representatives G. LOGAN PAYNE COMPANY NEW YORK - - - Fifth Ave. Bidg. CHICAGO DETPOIT Tower Bldg. Kresge Bldg. When the Red Gods Call (Official City. State and County Newspaper) | Balmy sunshine this week bathes the A False Alarm | Missouri slope. It is calling forth bud and blos- The world got a nasty wallop below the belt | Siecourt ae Le HAVE TEER DENY can in the morning issue of the Pardo they sing a glorious symphony to the miracle of 2a the dawn. But it’s a good old world and a good old) “aj life is in the vernal renaissance. There is te ee sly thee only dil aktect’ waa |” something in the air that amounts to an urge fact Mate lag a ee pie Bin esnle i 4 0 get out into the good, big, wide, clean, open } ey earth s¢ a) imorous peop ad N90 spaces of the prairie. i ‘ iste for their cakes. cle ; i If you are tired of the strife of business, of For the Forum’s display news story of first|the cross-currents of human ambition, of the ‘ magnitude informed the world: “Branch Banks | work-a-day worries; if you would enjoy that Mean Ruin, Shafer Says. - : moment of introspection for which all of us are gael coateour nak Aen oa OF ejonisie better, zo down to the Missouri morning or eve- § nil is $ that the Forum had taken Mr. Shafer’s address te lathes ‘a Ale Sneae Bane the river, | ea bankers ea ne sone eet \in the spring dress of the poplar and the willow, : ih oe fie. Be he Mi e, the Johnstown in the song of the birds, in the good fresh air, in i out, tates: the Forum didn't Fortunate. Ne whit ae sled Mates eae ee tat , se the Fo lidn’t. | - | Nort akota’s twilights are gorgeous. ey : ee eee ee seas ele pu eat you and stir you and you will be the n 2 KRow ee: S| better for it. } Sale and, like every good newspaper, ane sunshine is glorious, of course, but the e Succeeding paragraphs of the headline dis- BORNE TRIMER aTCUnAle ae ea po st ‘ as world har “League Plan | natural vantage spots along the river where you Wyieckaye Governmental Machinery Paralysis alae ae ited ae oy peta el if ase nery,.. ara ysis (come back rested, inspired, refreshed. Foreseen. Then this was boldly delivered full)" t¢ you cannot enjoy this there is something and fair upon the ear of the world: “Also Death |the matter with you. You need it and you to Outside Credit. ; should make the small effort it requires. No one in North Dakota will There are whole states where sunshine is omrnon@e Awe caomreraens ena. Ae take this |. Seriously. North Dakotans know the facts. Yet |capitalized. They place a definite value upon : if it were accepted at face value it is precisely | it in every transaction. But none of them have 1 the kind of publicity in our own newspapers! any more glorious sunshine than ours. Few t from our own people which in the past has done | of them have the elbow room that is ours and pees State touch injury. none of them have any more glorious season { Branch banking in North Dakota upon a state! than that we are now approaching. | , basis would be impossible without the sanction; Make the most of it. You owe it to yourself. { Of the people. The people here have learned t the ways of the politicians in 10 or more years! 4 of spectacular political strife. North Dakota ., A H is in no danger of branch state banking. i Editorial Comment There is some business wreckage in this By Bruce Catton . H state, but when one political faction lays it at } the door of the other it is like the pot calling ' the kettle black. Mr. Shafer and his friends should stop shout- j ing “Ruin,” “Bankruptcy,” and talking about ; the death of outside credit. The Railroads’ Job The railroads of this country are doing a pretty good job. They are giving very efficient transportation service at a cost which, all things considered, is quite reasonable. We have a If they do not the time is not far distant] right to be proud of them. when they will find themselves about as popu-: Yet when a railroad publicity clip-sheet com- » lar and as discredited as the fellow who rings; plains that “fio other private business is so fully , the fire bell at midnight and turns his neighbors|under the jurisdiction of the Washington out to find there is no fire. bureaucracy as is the railroad business,” it The facts of the situation are plain as of |would pay us to remember a hard fact or two. today. Chief of these is the fact that the railroads * Mr. Shafer has addressed the bankers. All| brought government regulation on themselves. ’ of the banks are still open. Business is good and there is no fluctuation in the interest rate.!century preceding the establishment of the In- terstate Commerce Commission and_ you'll agree. The roads should not be strangled in red The Margin Gambler Declaration by a stock exchange official that ‘unless some people who trade on margin lost their money the exchange could not exist” comes near to deciding that old debate whether “playing” the markets on margin is gambling Business and Politics or something more respectable. The United States Chamber of Commerce If stock exchanges live on the losses of their}has done well in passing a resolution re- ‘patrons, then there is very little difference be-; pudiating ‘“‘all those who indulge in commercial j m them and the gambling casino and the|and political corruption.” “race track bookmaker. Everyone with any zense, of course, knows Limited finances do not license one to trade | full well that the standard of ethics among big ‘on margin. The speculator with sufficient| business men is as high as in any other class money to maintain his margin may eventually|of Americans. Yet the various ramifications win, just as the poker player may some time get | of the Teapot Dome case have heen unpleasant ahead of the game if he has the resources to;and disturbing. For a time it looked as if the atick it out until his lucky streak comes. leaders of business were going to let the public Trading on margin is only one form of|assume that Sinclair, Stewart and the rest were bling and is no different from many other! fair representatives of the business world. is. While the temptation of quick and easy} Now they have spoken, and spoken in a way ‘money is greater for the poor than the rich,| to give small comfort to Messrs. Sinclair and the person of moderate means has the least/Stewart. The chamber is to be commended for chance to win and his losses make it possible|its attitude. |; for the rich man to get richer. i _. These things are not unknown to the specula- /} tive public and yet the number of margin traders who can not afford to indulge in this ‘costly and precarious form of gambling grows ') steadily, just as the army of race track betters and buyers of worthless stocks is ever adding H ‘new recruits. The gambler refuses to be pro- } tected from himself. ii) Passing the Political Hat | The season of passing the political hat has '} arrived. Everybody is doing it. It takes money ito negotiate a political campaign. The widow's i 4 { { earnestly before doing away with all regulation whatever. t Evidences of Wedlock A dancer, called as a witness in a divorce suit at New York, testified that she always had supposed that a man and woman appearing on the vaudeville bill with her were married. Why did she suppose so? Had they called one another endearing names and seemed devoted to each other? Well, it was partly that; but the thing that convinced her was the fact that they foughi continually, that the man frequently beat the woman and that the two were forever having some kind of a “scene.” There, if you please, is a lovely comment on our modern life. If we have reached the point where marriage can be recognized by the dis- cord it produces, we are indeed in a bad way. Prominence which they still main-,the record of Rin-Tin-Tin! And Rin- At the Movies _j|tain. e |Tin-Tin is coming to the Capitol @|_ No motion picture player enjoys | theatre tonight for a run of two ELTINGE THEATRE @ greater number of personal:days. This time he is in a desert ‘Thomas Meighan is featured at|friends than Thomas Meighan. He/jpicture, and doing more daring Eltinge for today and Saturday |i8 ® looking, agreeable, charm-'stunts than even Rin-Tin-Tin has . es A Srmpeiieve tloe ete done before. ing as John Phelan, a/W! there is always a glad hand.| Lost when a pup, and grown from determined to clean|He bears the distinction of being the| waif of the event tor fierce ty which is in the grip of |first motion picture actor chosen as bristling wolf-dog, he finds again, ld rule. {Shepherd of the Lambs Club, an ithe friends of his childhood, just of time he has appeared Organization of men connected with: after they have struck gold, and Thomas han’s | the theatre. lare in danger from some bade men. only by that of| He has two hobbies—golf and| What does Rinty do? See him! Fairbanks |swimming. Seeing is believing. You'll throw your ie first APITO! hat in the You'll yell! “ero of the Big Show” The| Helen Ferguson, Baby Mary Louise lero 4 een felen son, lary ise Ni .” “Fhe “Clash of the) Miller, Robert Perry, Jack Curtis Wolves”, “Hills of Kentucky” and! end Conners. Ray Enright many other pictures that you a!l directed for Warner Bros. Rinty! jhave cheered to the echo! That is|Rinty! Rah! Rah! Rah! mite is as acceptable as the corporation's beneficence. _ Al Smith’s friends own to expenditures of Read the history of the country for the half a tape, of course; but we should think long and| the WASHINGTO LETTER By RODNEY DUTCHER NEA Service Writer Washington, May 18.—Senator J. Boomboom McWhorter's triumphal appearance before the Senate cam- paign funds investigating committee proved to be one of the most ignificant developments of the po- litical season. It was triumphal because the com- mittee almost overlooked him, and significant because it was an admis- sion that McWhorter was actually a candidate—something previously admitted by McWhorter alone. Other senators benefited similarly, but McWhorter’s victory was most glorious because he was not among those originally called and won a lace in the witness chair only by iterful strategy. rst, the senator surreptitious- ly tacked up a few “McWhorter for esident” signs in the corridors leading to the committee room. When this got no results he went in person and took a conspicuous seat. Finally, in a culminating brilliant stroke, he sneaked a note into a mes- senger boy’s hand and sent him to the chairman. The note was signed simply “A Friend” and said: “McWhorter is planning to feed poison to the other candidates.” A great buzzing was observed at the committee table and soon after- ward Senator MeWhorter was asked to step forward. He did, with a proud wink at the crowd as he sat down. The quizzing began: SENATOR SOUR: What were you doing buying arsenic the other ht? ‘SENATOR McWHORTER: I didn’t buy no arsenic. SENATOR SOUR: What was it ? SE NATOR MecWHORTER: Mouthwash. SENATOR SOUR: Do you expect to buy any arsenic? SENATOR McWHORTER: No! SENATOR SOUR: Very well, you're excused. SENATOR McWHORTER: Can't you think of some more question SENATOR GOOSEGREASE: Sure, you aren’t a candidate, are ? "SENATOR McWHORTER: Yield- ing to the earnest entreaties of my many friends, modestly sensitive to the rising tide of popular insist- ence, realizing as I do my unwor- thiness for that great office, has persuaded of the crying need of a strong, brave helmsman to guide the {ship of state and imbued— S EN ATOR GOOSEGREASE: Yes, yes; don’t go on. You're sure about that arsenic, are vou? SENATOR McWHORTER: That vile slander has been circulated by mine enemies, desperately con- vinced that only prison bars can stop me now. SENATOR GOOSEGREASE: Who are your backers?" SENATOR McWHORTER: What? Oh, yes, backers! Ahem— well, let’s see. Oh, lots of them. SENATOR HOOTCHHOUND: Whose itty bitty stalking horse are you? SENATOR McWHORTER: Everybody’s—that is, I mean, the peop "s. SENATOR SOUR: What would you do if somebody offered you $500 for a cabinet job after your elec- tion? SENATOR McWHORTER: My tad career answers that question, sir: SENATOR GOOSEGREASE: Sure, and how would you spend the 500 SENATOR McWHORTER: I dun- no. I never had that much, SENATOR SOUR: Which gets the most delegates, promises or money? SENATOR McWHORTER: Stop kidding. You know ’em as well as I do. SENATOR HOOTCHHOUND: What would you say if the con- vention didn’t give you any votes? SENATOR McWHORTER: 1 would rather be right than presi- dent. SENA Ser BOC OUND: Do you play the-piccolo? SENATOR McWHORTER: Well, what of it? SENATOR HOOTCHHOUND: Where do you stand on companion- ate marriage? SENATE McWHORTER: mM try anything once! a the committee ad- journed and Senator McWhorter ‘went out to see if all the photog- raphers had been present. Darling Mom: I’m still too much provoked with Alan to let him read your letter, be- cause even if you can find excuses for his conduct I’m not so ready to forgive him. If he thinks he can get into the habit of letting his business come before consideration for me and get away with it I don't see what I can expect in the future. Anyway he’s always telling me that you think as much of him as you do of me, so whenever you take his part it just makes it that much harder for me to handle him. It would spoil him utterly to read all the nice things you say about him. So he doesn’t get to see your last letter. | You certaitly are a wonderful ; mother-in-law. Alan thinks the world of you. I wish you'd scold him once in a while, for a change; for if he isn’t to take too seriously that part of the wedding ceremony that made him promise to cherish me, then he ought to forget about the “obey” part, too. Alan abso- lutely forbade—can you grasp it?— absolutely forbade me to come down to the office. He said I treated his stenograph- er as though she were poison ivy when she was here at the apartment. Of course I didn’t do anything of the kind, but what did he want me todo? Serve her tea and ask her to stay to dinner? I would have liked to ask her where she got the permanent wave but I wouldn’t give her that much satisfaction. For if she couldn’t see that Alan and I were having a slight difference of opinion for the moment she must be dumber than she looks. And I dare say she guessed what caused it. I didn’t say a word, but when Alan said, “Oh, that’s much too heavy for you, Miss Peters,” I must have made some kind of funny sound because both she and Alan turned and looked at me. Well, of course, I don’t care whether I go to his office or not and I've got a lot of things to do | OUR BOARDING HOUSE By Ahern| 9 You MIND “THE “Time I WAS YouR FistTic “MANAGER 2 ~ HAW-W.. wMUCH HAS “TAKEN, PLACE Siice “THEN! > aT HAVE COME WTO GREAT WEALTH “WRU “THE SETTLING OF OUR OLD ANCESTRAL ESTATE IN A WELL HATS 7 GREAT! ~< IN OUR PoRK AN’ BEAN DAYS, Le REMEMBER HOW A DIME LOOKED AS BIG “To Vou AS A MAN: HOLE |: COVER! ~ I've Dust COME BACK FROM AUSTRALIA,v TM A MAIA EVENT NOW fo * FOUGHT MY WAY UP DEVONSHIRE f+ UM-A. REMEMBER Him 2 =-THAT! “BAD NEWS BURKE’ TH’ Z PUNCH-GOOrY PUG, THAT | TH’ MASOR USED “To . f MANAGE! HE'S # “TAKEN so MANY onl td’ CHIA, TH’ ONLY WAY You CAN GET HIM UP IN TH! MORNING, F \S-fo HAVE A GUY : NoLD \ FACE, Wit A FEW HEALTH BRINGS BEAUTY Many people consider themselves as being “unfortunately” not beau- tiful. Have they ever considered the fact that many of them would be much easier on the eyes if they had Teceived the best dietetic and cul- tural care when they were chil- dren? Any disease if long continued! will result in ugliness. Any case of long malnutrition, improperly bal- anced feeding, or gluttony will destroy the proportions of our fig- ures that are supposed to be modeled after the image of God. é If one were describing the symp- toms of ugliness, he would be describing disease symptoms as well. It would be impossible to imagine | be crooked, Hercules afflicted with tuberculosis, Diana with gout, Apollo with biliousness, or Juno with mucous colitis. Just imagine Robin Hood running off with his fair maid Marion if she had weighed two hun- dred and sixty-five pounds! The alterations produced by dis- ease are 80 pronounced that any competent diagnostician can dis- tinguish a healthy person from a sick one simply by the general ap- pearance. In many cases it is even possible to recognize the principle disease with just a general inspec- tion. I know that many of the condi- tions under which we live are not conducive to beauty. One who sits at a desk all day certainly has some disadvantage physically compared with the legendary golden age when all that was necessary was play- ing leap frog under the trees from which luscious and __ nourishing fruits fell just when one was ready to_eat them. I believe that our civilization is an improvement over any past age within history. I would rather have an automobile and a radio, a home with hot and cold water, electric lights and convenient sewage dis- posal than to live in a palace with the filth and ignorance of the middle ages. We have not reached perfection, and we can always look forward to better things. One of the drawbacks of a civilized cgmmunity is that it tends | to specialization. An _ individual! must be able to do something un- commonly well or he is very likely to be dragged into the mire of fail- ure. This specializing permits us to use some muscles but neglects others. We may be compelled to oceupy a limited number of positions during many hours. This interferes with our health and beauty unless we take special care of our ex- ercise and play. Each person should develop a hob- by that will correct his one-sided work. If he will also eat a correct- ly balanced diet, such as I outline in my weekly newspaper articles, he may preserve his health and figure for many years longer than the average. If you wish to avoid physical and mental decay, you should make your- self a specialist in health produc- ing habits. I am sometimes astounded to ob serve the remarkable changes that patients undergo while following the right diet, exercise and hygienic Dr. McCoy will gladly answer Personal questions on health and diet, addressed to him, care of the Tribune. Enclose a stamped addressed envelope for reply. Many of them blossom out into astounding beauties, even in cases that looked exceedingly hopeless in the beginning. A smail thorax will enlarge to normal if one practices deep breathing sev- eral times daily. Though your back you can improve it by the right kind of exerclics, 4 Don’t think this is hopeless with yourself, Everyone is capable of improvement unless he is at death’s door. So throw out your chest and pull your head back and resolve to day by day become better and better. The time to start is NOW! methods. QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS Question: J. K. writes: “I have what the doctors call a gastric stomach. Was all right till two months ago. Was told to eat soft ‘oods. Have been doing that but fill suffer from the gas which comes up about two hours after eat- ing. No pain, except that it both- ers my heart. The gas will move up and down, and I have to sip hot water to get relief.” Answer: The word “gastric” means stomach, so you were appar- ently mistaken about what the doc- tor said. He doubtless said you were suffering from gastritis which means inflammation of the stomach, as your systems seem to indicate that this is your trouble. Nothing could be worse for you than to take the “soft foods.” The irrita- tion in your stomach is not ppe- duced by foods which are too coarse, but rather by an_ over amount of hydrochloric acid in the gastric juice. The “soft” diet given for gastritis actually produces more trouble and is exactly the wrong diet for you to take, Leave out sugars and starches and balance your meals properly if you wish to get rid of excessive ras and stomach irritation. Drink a large amount of water between meals to keep the digestive fluids diluted until they naturally reduce in quantity because of your change to a correct diet. Question: Mrs. John B. asks: “Will you please explain through the health column what is meant by ‘dextrinized’ foods?” Answer: Dextrinized food is that. which has been thoroughly toasted or browned all the way through, thus changing any starch that par- ticular food may have into what is called dextrin. In this form the digestive organs are saved much work, as the dextrinizing process prepares the food for immediate as- similation. When the starch itself is eaten, it must be converted into a substance similar to dextrin before it can be assimilated. but now I'll have to take time off and go. Who would let a husband get away with that forbid stuff? So if you want to advise some- body who could use a little advice, write to Alan. Fondest love, MARYE. NEXT: Mom wants Marye to forget Norman. Pp ERE AER OO ["INNEW YorK | New York, May 18.—Passing through the Times Square belt the other day I noticed a sign inform- ing the world that a practitioner stood ready to remove tattoo designs for $5 per square inch. The opera- tion is performed by means of a new electric process, I was told. And business is flourishing. Although the lower Bowery still has its tattooing establishments for sailors, the industry is in general de- cline. Time was when tattooing was looked upon as an art of no mean proportions. The cost of having a truly artistic design indelibly placed mn one’s fie 100 up. fo sailor was a true sailor until he had an anchor, a couple of hearts or something unmentionable upon ‘is wrist, his arm and his chest. Frequently, after a few drinks, an entire season’s pay went into an elaborate pattern that all but cov- for a nickel or a dime and were “guaranteed to have all the words and music.” Today they bring from two to five dollars, bound in fancy cloth, eee Which reminds me that one of the most popular features of a certain night resort is a fellow who sings those banal old ballads with illus- trated slides. And “Ten Nights in a Barroom” has been revived with some success in a Broadway pro- duction. One of the big hits of the season is Mae West’s “Diamond Lil,” which revives Bowery scenes in the “days when” and pictures a femme with one of those perfect 62 waists so popular in grandpa’s day. Here the girlies drink beer at the bar and the boys wear bowlers and trick trousers. And these sophisti- cated young moderns fairly eat it up. GILBERT SWAN. [ BARBS ‘ ——_ American engineers are studying a $500,000,000 Argentina-Chile canal project. Just as if the marines weren’t busy enough pow. oe Students of the English class at Yale, asked to autograph a sect of Shakespeare to be given to Gene Tunney, signed such names as John- ny Applesauce, Jack Dempsey, the ered a manly bosom. {Duke of Muldoon. The younger gen- Those days, I am told, have gone cration simply hasn’t any reverence forever. A sign in the Chinatown say more—even for a prize fighter. belt still carries the information that ese “tattooing is done here.” But trac: A meteorologist the other day ex- has fallen off. Nor does one often pressed the theory that radio waves see that other grand old placard in-!may be causing some of the bad viting one to enter his barber shop| weather. Maybe the radio sopranos and “have your, black eye painted.” |are taking the wrong kind of ether. The “ribbon sign” is the latest vogue of the bright lights belt. Six have appeared within the past few weeks. spay grote those ae tric displays that a running story tothens who run as they read. If some such news event as the ar- rival of the re Ged + to be the tall: ie town, lights will tell yOu all about it. Add- ing, of course, a few lines concern- ing the merits of Unpolished Silver or Saltless Ham. Reales There are periodic relapses of the sophisticated pose in which mortals crave to return to the “days when.’ They want the old songs and the old dances, the old music and the old Jays and the old characters. Man-, ttan has been passing through riod. Recently a big pub- ved Paul Dressers song book has been ly Pious Friends and Drunken Companion,” in which you will find “Frankie and Johnnie” and all the rest of the old timers. At'the present writing old minstrel songs such as “Susanna, Don’t You Cry” or “Go. Way Back; and Sit Down,” are being revived in a book, “Gentlemen, Be Seated!” When I was a lad, these grand old anthems were peddled about the theater aisles in booklets that sold/ . If you don’t think lots and lots of the delegates to political conven- tions are uninstructed, wait until you hear their ‘speeches. . A newspaper item tells us that the price of giraffes has doubled since the war. Darn the war, any- way! eee A hole-in-one is luck, of course, but, after all, you’ll have to admit, according to the player, that he was shooting right for the pin. _—_———_————— In What Month Is Your Birthday? On your Birthday send your Mother Flowers Hoskins-Meyer Home of KFYR