The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, April 2, 1926, Page 8

_PAGE EIGHT The Bismarck Tribune An Independent Newspaper THE STATE'S OLDEST NEWSPAPER (Established 1873) ‘ Published by the Bismarck Tribune Company; | Bismarck,.N. D., and entered at the pdstoffice at | Bismarck, as second class mail matter. George D. Mann.. President arid Publisher Subseription Rates Payable in Advance Daily by carrier, per year......s0+900+ Daily by mail, per year, (in Pisinarck): Daily by mail, per year, (in state outside Bismarck). . 5.00 Daily by mail, outside of North Dakota. - 6.06; Member Audit Burean of Circulation H 20 720! Member of The Associated Press Associated Press is exclusively entitled io the for republication of al news dispatches credited or not otherwise credited in this paper, and also | the local news of spontaneous origin published here- { All pene of republication of all other matter G. LOGAN PAYNE COMPANY CHICAGO DETROIT. Tower Bldg. Kresge Bldg. PAYNE, BURNS AND SMITil NEW YORK é . Fifth Ave. Bldg. cial City, State and County Newspaper) | ciety For Everything | Will Rogers, the humorist, in his Bismarck ap-} pearance, poked some fun at the increasing iium- ber of clubs. “It is getting so now,” he said, “that! “When two men get together, one has a gavel and calls the other to order.” i The daily mail of a newspaper confirms this very | There seems to be a society to cover any} le emergency. Recently from a Congrega- | out a string of liquor dives stretched about the unt- versity town, Gov. Pinchot of Pennsylvania sends Secretazy Mellon lista of dry. law. violators in Philadelphia. Righty-one, permitiee aicohol minufacturers and 10 distilléts are named. | These are a few encouraging reports from the? | field of prohibition enforcement. y i Twenty-two years ago “Little Miss Dillon” was a j clerk jn the Coney Island branch of the Brooklyn ; Bors Gas Co. The other day she became President Mary B. Dillon, head of that. $5,000,000 corporation. | Did someone say once that women were out of place | in offices? Page Volstead of Siedley. Butler Florida promatets are secking to create in that: state an American Riviera. An agent waxing en- | THE BisMARCK TRIBUNE thusiastie over the ideal climate during the months * of December, January and February continues: “Plorida, of all places in America, is blessed with an unlimited supply of ‘au- thentic’ wines, champagnes, liquors and beer, thanks to the proximity of British possessions, notably Bimini.” “Authentic” wines certainly should he preferred over California’s “synthetic” liquor. | Florida is not overlooking a single bet in its quest for the tourist dollar. Plenty of Time H Spring-like weather in North Dakota may tempt | many to rush seeding operations. However, the | farmer who is Dakota wise will not be in any hurry to plant until the danger of a severe frost is over. The “sooner” really gains but little and often runs | a real danger of losing his labor and seed should | = <tional pulpit, Luther Burbank gave his philosophy! winter “hack-up” as it sometimes does in this Rec-,| = organization which discussed the burning issue } politicians will not have to worry about this spring. of life. Immediately some one clique dubbed him! an atheist. Within ten days, The Tribune was in| receipt of a brochure from some kind of an uplift! whether Burbank was an atheist or not. Prebably every daily newspaper in the country received the same pamphlet from the same society of defender$ thought or personal liberty. de from any of the is: volved, every pub- lisher is impressed with the wanton waste of money for useless pro and it was a light mail from the “prep came a fine poster on “Eat and Be Healthy”. The next letter turned up was an invitation to enclose twenty-five cents in a neat coin card—said “two-bits” to be used for the pre- vention ef Following the appeal for funds to; fight wars, came a skillfully disguised advertise- ment from a “drivurself” association. Taking the bread out of the publisher’s mouth is one of the} great indoor sports of the publicity expert. There were appeals also for better homes from a ¥ <9 promote that national ideal. Then was vered a large legal envelope from the National ‘ederation containing some sort of an appeal to save the nation, These few appeals from societies represent but 2 small portion of the day’s deluge. Postage, perfect- ly good paper and much labor absolutely wasted. I the nation were relieved of many organizations, the monetary saving would diminish the national deb‘ to a most surprising degree. Today for inst: New Problems to Solve “Our roads have to be rebuilt, our street8 reconstructed, cur whole traffic problem reorganized.”-—Herbert Hoover, This is what Seeretary Hoover told the delegates to the safety convention in Washington. Automo- hiles have increased, so fast that the average munici- pality has been unable to provide the proper regula- tion. Cities. were planned before automobiles were thought of, so the streets of every city are support- ing a traffic which overtaxes capacity. Ultimately the problem is as Secretary Hoover indicates—one cf complete reconstruction. In the meantime, speed limits must be established and traf- fie rules rigidly enforced, The Chicago Tribune puts the problem graphically in these words: “We have twenty million locomotives on our highways and every street is a grade crossing. The marvel is that there are as few accidents as there are.” Great expenditures must be made to insure safety on city streets and public highways. Automobiles of the nation represent an investment of many mil- s, a few millions must be spent to proteet human 7 The Lollypop Crisis ‘The debt France owes to the United States is wor- = Tying her a lot just now. So is the alarming col- ~ apse of the franc, which the other day dropped to a new low level.. So is the blanket effort by the Socialists to block whatever tax plans the admin- istration puts forward. These are weighty problems, but there is one that is weightier. During the same hours that the coin of the realm was tumbling down the other day, the Chamber of Deputies reached a crisis in the lollypop situation. It was a time ‘when statesmen are made. A de- liberate proposal to prohibit the sale of all-day suck- ers hdli been hurled into the solemn midst, of that august chamber that guides France’s destinies. In that hectic hour, with the ,Chamber rocking in the storm like a reed in Kansas, a hero arose. The stalwart was Deputy Guefin. The fact thet he was _@ druggist could have had no possible connection = with his interest in the lollypop situation. It was the children of which he was thinking, the children He spoke and spoke and spoke. He spoke so long = that oven the radical deputies sickened and called Eee seen a time, So ) J on to. : fe wonder what J. P, Morgen & Co., who | pal automobile club road manager. tion of the globe, North Dakota's lynching record is something the | There has not been one in the last ten years. | One of the safest harbingers of spring is the “swat the fly” editorials. ’ Harvard will demand a picture of every applicant for admission. It might be interesting to ‘know what kind of p face will wet by the board of cen- sors, [ Raditorial Comment |) Scrapping Martial Songs (Kansas City Post) Edward W. Bok believes we should get rid of such songs as “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “Onward, Christian Soldiers,” because they breathe the opposite of the spirit of peace which w are striving to implant in the public mind. It is interesting when a man like Mr. Bok advo- cates a thing of this kind and it causes wonder as tc just how seriously such suggestions should be re- }garded and how far this disposition to get rid of “war talk” would carry. us. History is full of it, muchvof the finest literature abounds in it and many monuments and memorials are reminders. It would require an enormous amount of labor to hide the glamor of war from a ing generation bent upon investigation. The Chapman Case (Valley City Times-Recofd) Gerald Chapman, a convicted thief, sent to the Federal prison at Atlanta, escaped. While a fugi- tive he lived by theft. He committed a murder ih Connecticut and was captured in Indiana, brought back for trial and convicted. Every effort was made to make a hero of this jailbird. He was pictured as 2 super-criminal, a “master mind.” We wrote poetry and delved into philoscphy and a maudlin press and people seemed to hold him in veneration and adoration. The stety was carefully spread that he taught his lawyers things about the law they never knew before. Three reprieves have been granted him, and finally thé Supreme Court refused to review the case, and thia tawdry “hero” of the underworld seems to be ap- proaching the end he so richly deserves. The,Robin and the Auto Thief ; (Minot News) Auto thieves are the real signs of spring, says an Pleasant days in- spire the would-be joy-rider to go forth and lay. hands on a parked machine belonging ts someone else. This observer says about half the stclen card are recovered, but aré in térrible cafidition.,. “Théy:, run them till the oil is gone and the bearings burnt | ou usd The professicnal thief is always with us, and needs‘ to be guarded against as a matter of routine. the spring thief is a lad with spti him to be some place where he know how tc treat a car; nor if he did, would he cate’ about the car of the other fellow. ; Cars should be doubly locked wherever they are’ parked, and if possible ‘thé should be parked in full sight of passers-by. ‘The Unlocked car parked in a dark or lonely place. is nuts for the thief. Pre- vention is better than, recovery—especially if recov- ery is going to mean a hig repair bill, Where the Tarif? Helps (James Sun, Livesay Brothets of horn liens for the year ending Detomber 1. They found that their eggs, which sold for an avetage of 45 cents a dozen, codt them 15 cents to produce, total receipts for thelr flock Were $7.98 pet hen; and thé cost was only $2.80-each. The flock average was 212.5 eggs per hen. Z . The Livesays buy their chicks ready hatched, and théy sell ho eggs for atelindg ey rim an éxclo- sive egg-producing plant, They propose to in- Grease thelr fléck to hens, which at the raté of u t flock we Id make’ theirs the most fam- ge farm in Amefica, ave tot asked fof new laws, remissio nof Band, Oredbi made a net Fi profit of $1450.40 on thejr flotk of 280 White Leg: |’ aj HER-OWN WAY | FATE ANTERVENES “I wonder what you would do, Julie, if someone had taken you on n airplane and rushed you up, up nto the clouds from which you could through rosy splendor all. the kingdoms @f the earth, and then sud- denly flung you out of the plane? “That is what happened to m “Tortentio said I could make the Metropolitan Opera House in five years and then told me that his price alone would be sevent, a week, i and G Sons, and the money I would have io ive to my mother, would mean two hun- dred dollars a week on close caleula- tion, U “I went back to Madame Seria, down in the depths. { had struck the carth and was perfectly flattened out. ““Don't_you worry, Mamie,’ said as she ‘put her hands on* my shoulders. ‘My dear, you'll find the money somehow.’ ‘That afternoon Lola Lawrence led for Paris and the next morn- Tremaine called up Madame and asked: Vhat’s the name of that girl that sings?’ “*E told him to come ove me this afternoon,’ she ad : Clive nonin BARTON “I know soniebody who needs spring cleaning very much indeed,” said the March Hare to the Twins when Marky Muskrat was out of the way at last. “Who?” said Nancy and Nick to- gether. “Billy Beaver,” Hare. “Hi: ‘Why, he lives in the water,” said Nick. “How could he need to be spring cleaned?” “Just like Marky Muskrat,” said the March Hare. “He gets full of mud, and besides after living in his underground house all winter, he is all tangled ap. Yes, Billy Beaver certainly needs to be spring-cleaned. Come on. Let’s get him.” Soff went the three of them to the place on Ripple Creek where Billy and his relations had made a dam of mud and logs across the water, caus- {he ee ereek to back up into a sort nd there on the edge of the bank sat. Billy himself. “Hellot” he called. “Are you com- ing to see me? Mom and Pop aren’t home, They've gone on a trip into the. woods to hunt some new birch trees. I’m just playing a game with my friends the Gazookumses.” For the first time the visitors no- tieed three very tiny little. boys with long sharp cars, sitting on the bank beside Billy Beaver. The March Hare frowned and looked very much upset, for everyone knows that. wherever » Gazookumses are, there is trouble also. The worst thing ubout Gazookumses is, you never know what they are going to dg next. The next worst thing ix that they always go_nbout inthrees fee it is very hard to get ahead of lem. When Billy mentioned them, the ‘three Gazookumses: got right up and tipned their hats and bowed very po- Jitely saying, “We are very much leased and délighted and obliged to iget_ you, we're sure.” pan, At. What everyone did know af that they meant, “We are cross fgs three bears at you for. coming iré just now. Because we were ust playing a trick on Billy Beaver jf you hadn't meddled, it would ve heen ner, by this time and Billy yanid-bo ‘otfrs.” on * All the March Hare did when the azeokumses made their long spec ch as to. ny, “What doen all this Ba? "iit Do your mother and ny in their absence?” hate looked worried now. hey asked me tp. y i “I don't a i nk piee game T thought it would she} 11 “‘ToMORROW: Sacrifice. _ éy’re Still Thanking {don't want you when he comes. di | place | my around the Go on home, ir, and come back tomorrow.’ ‘Of course you know, Julie, T could tot go home. I went out to the park and literally walked miles. T couldn't even sit still five minutes of the time on a park bench, In the late afternoon I went home nd found that my mother had been telephoning me for hours. “My brother Tom ha ing married a tittle girl he h up in a dan 1] with the flu. You will never know, Julie, how I upbraided elf for spending all that money on my voice when it was needed so much in o home. Mother wag nearly in hyster- ics. She was wringing her hand and crying und talking incoherently most of the time to herself. “Of course, Tom could not give Mother any of his wages. He would need all of his money for his young wife. The district nurse had ordered Sisto the hospital, saying that a ease of the flu was contagious and poor mother had just three dollars to Seen) things going until my salary was} paid next week. It was certainly up ta me to do something.” (Copyright, 1926, NEA Sarvice, Inc.) asked the March Hare e little Gazookumses said Billy. “Then tney put their hands behind their backs, and then they take a pink stone and pass it along from one to the other. Then I guess who has the stone. If {1 guess right 1 win and if 1 guess | ! wrong I lose.” “Lsee,” said the March Hare, look- ing at the Twins as much as to gay, “These is crooked work here. We will see this thing out.” Then he turned to Billy. “I sup- Pose you haven’t won much yet, have said Billy. “I’ve been los- ve lost my ears and my tail.” (To Be Continued) (Copyright, 1926, NEA Service, Inc.) ing. But’ everyone knew they didn't] - yu to keep such com- | , »“I never saw. them Ne at wan itt” auked the Mareh | Ling Myatt ‘Jumble,| ff the bumble?” said |. y it with stones,” anne ectncctincnte instrament Mtn wy venniless, accepts an invitation to & amirt Neto Year's party from. "| nyaterious Nan Adams, a chance ac- Aub TOM SIMS| A woman may have trouble-with her heart, but the greatest trouble she has with her head is washing her hair. The honeymoon ends when_ he finds a chew of tobacco makes him mol comfortable than her respect. Hunt the bright side. Wouldn't things be awful if it was dark in the daytime and light at night? We heard about a man who got 20 miles out of 4 gallon and six months out of a.quart. All the good don’t die young. The} good auto dodgers live a long time. Almost time for the spring poet to see his shadow. Stay away from bad company and you won’t know enough cuss words to call your auto when it won't start. The hard thing about. making money last is making it first. * A_wooden- leg isn’t as great a handicap as a wooden head. -—————————_——_—_——? | A THOUGHT o-——_—_— 4 It is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasting; for that is the of all men: and the li his heart.—Eecl.; 7:2. oat The true way to:‘mourn the dead is to take care-of the living who ‘ belong to them.—Burke. Joseph Cartier, Biddeford, Me., has not missed a Democratic caucus in his ‘ward for 48 ye: gz will lay it to; | c aaeortae sink acnrye eT eee aie ee | iuainiances, She 4¢ eager for any relief, no i natter hi temporary, from the | rinding ache of @ friendless ez! jince. She has no kith or kin—and i “her doarding iholise and the four weeks’ overdue >| d0ar@ bill and arrives in the midst jing blizzard at the swagger iene ‘ban town where her hostest jlived. " | She has fest one dime—ané cold, wet and reckless—she grimly re- ‘signs herself to fate. | Now go on with’ the story. / _— Her. throat, aflame with the first | 2mipous symptoms of a cold, was {oaying the price for her rash foot march through the suburban snow. Yet she had to talk. Chatter is jome way of paying for @ dinner. |T00 ofted thé only way, she |thought, her mind reverting to the jlonély dime in her bag. | Rot.. The dime would have {bought her dowghhuts and coffes, |That menu comported With née. ¢e-| Bar! ‘tate, Sh@ gldticed at hér place {card and found that they were at j:hé pifitade aux ttuffes én medsil- ‘on. Truffes. Fragrant parasites seloved of gourmets, They say shat they're gathered by pigs, who {toot them out with their snouts. She felt like a truMfe, “Who's the old chap with the |oig eyebrows talking=to Bissis Adabs?” she asked Pétrie. “He jlust looked ad be and I felt Itke— |ike——” ; “Like what?’ “Truffies!” “Eh?” He was startled. ; “Well, thed, I feel as it he had hired the hubad race to—breed be.” | “Don't be too sure he didn't,” said Petrie. “He's done something like that in the case of everybody at thig table, including your Mr. Petrie.” “Why do you lower your voice? {Are you afraid your biddle aged god with the bald spot will biast you with his lightning?” Mr. Petrie grimaced his disrelish, but accepted the impeachment. “We're all a bit afraid of J. B. Hardimin’s lightning. He pays us to liké him a bit—and fear him a lot, He pays well—if that’s what you want to know.” ° that. seemed to lurk in his words. ‘He can’t hire addybody who doesn’t want a job,” she returned with some asperity and another choked sneeze, Petrié stood guaré—the mate thé change behind thé curtains. Thé glory of perfect arynese. “Can't and Hardiman don’t mix.” He mixed himself his umph glassful of whisky from the decén- ter which, ‘though it had started out as the communal privilege of the dozen diners at the filtering board, hdd come to ® définité halt] trie’s plate, ike the roulette le which has found its num- .She choked a sneeze. She won: dered how long she could keep this up. The protracted dinner was only at the salad. She longed to blow hier nose. 4 She had a vision of herself stum- bling through. the snow on her way to this party, her précious frock gathered under her armpits. Last soldier of thé regimented array on the hafgers.in her clothes closet. and 9 vel at that—it had seem- ed infinitely precious two hot since, when sie had made h protected body, for the 4: an offering storm, ‘ “Stop kicking me,” she requeateg without indignation, ‘Not guilty,” avowed Petrie, ‘Then"—Barbgra squirmed straightened in her chair—"th fom hing terrible..inder the ta- ee es “Not I tied m: thé door," ‘But there 4s’ thed on my y pink snake out- she insisted. “It to would OTHER you marry ieee else? . ry" MeBlimbo: * Not ‘toni Title. Sy: elas’ t. She flushed to the , impfication| ¢n, s|for @ Hari tl hike Weather | in the A stir above: the board trough! Gus oit of brown Study, Néau’s teet - moted abd her vole flosted down to him, “It St. Geo dragon we'll go tor’coffee,” He reacted a lohg arm for thé conveniént Pekingesé and acram-. . died: upright with the critter held firmly by the scruff of its hated “What do we do with this giant’ flew?” he demanded. Nike 4 bananas frit. di The bli betw a the 4 e has slain the Into the othér room in to Hardinan—“others. $ Stie snatchéd the glaut fea from Gus’ grip_and, volubly consoling y. for indignities, l¢d her fom those two, who, dissimilar remsons, to Be eft behind. rted to-rise, tently til 1 come back Wwith.some aspi He grabbed an immense squat of handkerchief from his pocket and tossed it to her. When he returned her tedrs were flowing fast upon the damask. “Here. Aspirin.” His-voice was husky. “1 do'd wad Asbirid!” she wailed. “IT wad"—blub-blub—"“cyadide of potassiub! b The brute had his arms around her shoulders and was dragging her the floor. She found hersélt before the curtain hanging closed at one of the windows of the din-’ . pair of curved hue called nude. “Stop sniffiiag. Put ’em on.” He gtood guard. First on one foot, then on the other, she made the change behind the curtains. The glory of perfect dryness! Was there anywhere in the world of poets a kiss to match the sweet contact of this warm silk upon her cold and grateful fies! Dry eyed, dry legged, Barbara, queen of herself again, stepped forth from her, hidin; ce and, on the arm of dour Gus, swept toward «« drawing room to face the mob. isk io Quéstions,” he whis- ered. Segied “I yon’t,” she promised. “Bud + its adser addy you bay wad to ask 2. “And tell the truth?" he chal: ° lenged. Be “Cross by heart!” “Then”—he had the earnest air of one about to question an oracle —“tell me—whefe've you been keéping yourself all these years? “You are the only sniffing you'll be irtes: .” He changed the subject abruptly. “I had a chat with J. B. awhile ago.” ~ . BY” ““Mr. Hardiman.” He palised. She’ turned to him inquiringiy. “Did you warn him?” she ban- tered. ¥ x Me in congratulated him,” said Pe- rie. you stop ible.” were fixed on Barbara’ it. Ne ther heard her as she asked, the Benen Dresséd against her ‘Does she step into mhows— POR ip into my es e¢ e¢ ¢ @ Of 3. 8, Hardiman it had been Over his shouldér he caught 2 glimpse of Petrie and. Barbara in that attitude of communion which ployment in ‘the Antipodes: He mentally vi: “pepe det bed route Iman concession tar er aay the potas mouth corners in @ face that wab bee ee ot her bate teeth. © a anh was shocked by tl soft alabaster ith thie pean dpe of nt it r 5 C ; n the