Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, December 8, 1922, Page 12

PAGE TWELVE USE THE E ELBUWS '_rhm People Have a Natural .-+ Defensive Weapon. Providéd by Nature. as Against the Aggressions of the Plump, According to Helen. She was what you might 2all sylph- llke. Or:If you prefer the less poetic and ‘more modern term she possessed the popular pencil silhguette. Those ‘of her friends bullt on more generous lines openly cannstled her against the dangers of - frail constitutions and men- tioned the lurking evils of tubercu- losts, indigestion dnd . pervous prostra- tion, says a New York. Sun writer. Secretly in .thelr ‘heart of hearts they - admitted . they would willingly have endured-all three to be able to wear a tweed suit with the smartness that was bers. It _wis Mabel, she of the generous curves and placid digposition, that finally drew fire: “Helen,” sald Mabel as she dipped into the chocolate ¢reams and then dropped & juicy morsel back with a hungry sigh, “I think you ought to put on more weight. It really is sinful for a girl to go around causing as mach envy In the hearts of others as you do. Now, when I was up in Boston I got a menu from a hotel that tells what you should eat to get fat and what you should eat to get thin. You can have the ‘how to get fat' column If you want it.”’ ‘The sylphlike one sighed a mourn- ful sigh. “Mabel,” she confessed, “you might a3 well know the mAth I positively gofge on such fattening things as cream; butter sauce, bananas, pota- toes and bacon. . I natdrally prefer string _beaps, sour salad dressings, lemongde and water fces. But 1 pass them all up. Because 1 long ago got over any desire to be. thin.” Shé afosé and began-to pace up and down the room n the restless manner. peculiar to thin people. Her voice rose to a tremulous pitch. “Do you know,” she demanded, In- dignantly, “what thin people have to suffer? Do you?’ Mabel, who had sticcumbed to the temptation of the chocolates, shook her head blankly. “Just take the subway trains and trolley cars that have those little seats buflt for two' persons—two medium- size people., If a little person -like me is sitting In one of them, what hap- [ pens? At the next corner a woman i} or man who could qualify for Dump- i ling Dora in the circus gets on. And, i of course, makes for the seat next to 1 the little thin person. You find your- £ self simply squashed by the weight of the person next to. you. A fat per- son, I have noticed, Jlooks eagerly around for a vacant seat beside a thin | person, because they know it's the only way-they can ride with any éom- fort. I have seen them stand rather than take a séat next to an average § person or one who - rivals their & welght.” £ “Must remember that,” said Mabel, temporarily ceasing to- munch her chocolate drop. “Never thought of it before.” . “Well, if you try it let me warn you that the poor little stringbean per- | son may tdke protective measures,” ¢ satd the slender Heleri, and ‘there boE was fire in'her ¢yes ag she spoke. “That so?" quéried the plump one,"| and her tone hé¢ld polite scorn and doubt. “You- bet it Iu . strate.” The slender one sat down on.the couch beside her friend. “Now, when ! any of these gemerously proportioned sopls plant themselves down beside " me in the traln and appropriate tMelr half of the seat and threequarters ot nine T simply mapage, to_fold my | arms. That makes my efbows stick | out. “And all thin people have sharp | elbows. They need 'em. They are the only weapon of, offense and de- fense the poor things have. “And most plump people love com- fort. So after they have had the el- bows of our little thin:helpless crea- ture boring into thelr tender ribs for a few minutes they decfde td- occupy only their own half of the seat or else find a more comfortable one.” Let me demon- “Business First)” His Motto. Pratection | | like that is pretty near “as bad-ay : some folks. { Doe, has got anything beat a dog %.\w-;mxmx«:»mwz? ! g'ASome Dogs ani % % Some Folks By C. B. WHITFORD :" B R PRI EEX (@. 1922, Western Néwspaper Union.) “I wish you would give me some- thing for what ails e, Doc,” said the bandsome pointer as he. walked into the doctor’s office. “All right, Ponto, that's what I'm here for, just to give out dope for all manner of complaints. But what's | the matter with you."” *Do I look all right?” “Never saw you looking better. Your coat is sleek, your eyes are bright and ycur pulse beats pretty | well.” “Thét may all be true, still I aint right. 1 wish you would tell me what the trouble is and then give me some- | thing for it.” “That's about the easiest job we fel- lows have. And it's one of the most profitable, because when we get hold | of patients that ain't sick, we just give | them a little dope that will give them | & few cramps and take their appetite away. Then we give them something to tone them up, and thete you are.” “Say, Doc, dogs are a good deal like | | tolks, but they ain’t that bad. I've known dogs that were there with a lit- tie ‘con,’ all right. They would sidle up to another dog, wag thelr tail ‘and H smile as though they were tickled nearly to death to see the stranger, and then just as they had ‘got 'his confidence they would pounce on 'him and give him a good, licking. befom the confldiag dog woke up to the fact that he hnd been conned. A dog But that bunk of yours would do. Getting down to business, | Wwhat can you do for me? I'm a Wise @og and won't stand for any game 1 of con.” ‘You're wise are you, Ponto? Now you are just my kind. You may not know it, but It's the réal wise ones’ that take the salve in largé doses I don't want anything easier’ than & wise man or woman _who thinks they are sick when théy are weil.” One me the ot_her day. B b “‘Doctor} she sald, ‘I'm" all out ot gorts. I wish you'd see what you can do for me.’ "Thsre was nothing the mnue\' wlfh A small Fraoklin boy obtaifed a route for the News and ’au this was ' his first work he felf the responsi- bility of it more than his parents real- ized. When the day for collecting on his route came around there was a big picnic on hand, and the family was wondering what John was going to. do about it. . However, before they had’ time:to make his plans for hlm, he announced to them: “You know, mother, today's the picnic, and it’s pretty fough on a fel- low that's .got a business and always says, ‘Business first’ WBut that's what you've got to do when you're in busl- ' ness,” and he started out proudly to call on his subscribers.—Indianapoits News. fl | Ended First Love Affair. When T was n the fourth grade a boy whom I admired very much used to.come and call for my brother, also hoping to see me. He usually did. One Saturday when returning from & rabbit hunt he stopped in front to talk to my brother, but I failed to ap- pear.. Then he exclaimed: “Wateh | me bring her out!” He fired the gun and did “bring ber out,” but the “her” | was my mother;: and the "bnwlnw out” he got ended my first love lt- fair—Exchange. | affected” Well to make a long story SUBSCRIBE FOk “HE PIONEEB‘ P'her except that she hac moneéy and things were ¢ easy for het. Sheé was fat and ‘cars, rled a gloom around with her like a man who was ebout to be sent to prison. I looked at her, put the light out of my face and llowly shook my:| head. ““‘Is It snything serious? ghe ex-{ ciaimed. T “Well; I sald very slowly, ‘It 18 a7} puzzling kind of a case. You really ook " well E l ““That's what every one tells m Dactor,’ she said. i “*But you ain't well. You have been galning flesh.- That's a bad sign.! Tlie T shook my head some myore and fel her pulse. Worry! Worry! Tronblel You baver't got neuresthenia.’ “‘My,’ she exclaimed with .a start. * !Still, your wholé nervous system is short when I got through looking: different kinds. of looks at her and had | given various sorts of head. shakes, ' she would have looked In the giass and | been sure she was In a. fair way to bes | come a nervous wreck. Of course, you understand, she was a very wise ! woman, and what is more. she bed lenty of money, while I was just a. tlé short. I didn’t hurt her, but IS acared her some, made her sick, made her well agaln aud got.the .money."” "I know for a Yact that something’s ' fine looking pointer dog trying to live | of thosé ‘wise women came In' to see | “I've seen g _hungry dog scheme METNADRAMA STIIFF arotind to”stenl a bone, but you can't blame a hungry dog much for lying to_get something to eat. I xnow some folks -that have got us beat at this game. I guess I had better be golng. You are too slick for me, Doc.” “That's all right, Ponto. I wouldn’t con a poor dog any more than I woull poor folks. Ve fellows are just. likeé' you dogs. . Ve have got- to live and we must get the rooney from the rich and help the poor.” “Can you reaily 'tell’ what ails me? wrong with me. No bunk, Doc.” “You're all right and you ain't all right. You're like: some folks. You're in wrong. Here jou are a great by ghe - life of a gnodtor-nntblng yus dog. You're itching.all over to’ g0 tu work at your owm job of huatiog birds. Youre a fuilure at the 3ob you have, just as a lot of folk¥ get the wrong' job, Mamy a doctor who ¥aws people’s bones ought to be sawing wood, iind many a poor wood suwer would make a good doctor. Folks get | the wrong job and fret and never ' amount to anything. They are rals | fits. Now if you could find a new:| home and get a chance to hunt birds yowd be all right. would get wet and cold and come home | covered ‘wffh 'mud. Perbaps bring a ravemous appetite with \'0‘1‘ and not find mnything to satisfy it. Then you might have to sfeep in al wogdshed, but] yowd be more con-| tented than you are mow, lving on! the fat of the land and sleeping on & soft cushion ‘mext to the radiator. Every man to phis graft, Ponto, and the same for every dog. Lots of folks have money they don't know how to use, It just imakes them miserable.” “Phat sounfis good to me, Doc. I hate to give Wp my soft warm bed and g0od enting, but what's the use? Some- thing's eating me and I guess it's as you Kere, . I'll hunt a new home] . So long. Doc. L Enough. Tbere; one - taxicab driver in \New. York who has!an Inotdinate feur of h!j‘_hwnymén. gpecially when ‘he’s a bridge, says the Sun, of that e ‘takes Jngenlous precnlltwnl v tofl holdup men. a d%ncn recently Of coursé you | f T otght to get into my class néh entered ® taxicav. Tliey were about to drive over a lonely stretch of Wash- ington bridge when the cab was sud- denly. drawn tip to the cu i¢ driver sprang from his seat The girl clutched her éscoft’s’ arm,” both gap- fng nervously }}' the driver, expeetluz to be thrust at’thiel ‘w2 hield up. on thl . the driver gaspi t it to happen, ngln I it. I'm tellin’ you 1o “and I don’t help tiow’ thnt all T've got is 8885 an’ imitation gold .watéh and this hére plioney diamond ring GWE HARNESS BEST OF CARE Ilnilll:d Grease [s Conveniently Re- moved by. ater, o or: white toils stand }hrnms shiould be washed and ' olled when ) tremely dry.>For- washing, use tepid| g :With Knife— pecomes dirty or ex- v, such as castile np. and a sponge or { fairly stift- brush.’ Hardened grease: ! is very. colivenfently. removed by scrap- ing with-a duil knife.. Rinse in clean, epid. water, and allow the harness tol in a warm place until it is no longer ‘wet but “still. damp. Then oil, 1t'and leave it i & warm place for 24! houfs before belng used. smma be olled or:greased. while still ; othérwise, it:may take up so mdcn grease: that it will_pull out of | shape or take up‘sand and grit, which .will fnjure it, as well as spoil its ap- pearance. “Harness should never. look So, spéech, w: 1b) hody' The hefirt, the Bex The stock of G. A. Seman has béen "iold to the Northern Sales™ Co., of Stpérior, Wi 4 western Jobbers Credit Bureau. The stock Groceries, ‘Hardwiité, Clothing, and - FIXTURES—2 Dayton Scales, T National Cash ;Kez@ki, Cases, 1 Champion Accountint, 1.Safé, T'Rell Top. Desk, 1 Sherer Counter, I Logging Qutfit. ' Nonmtim»suts €0, “orféel greasy: P e SU “Acute Stomach Trouble” Not Fatal, nearly every week we see in the paper: thit. the Hon. Mr. So and while mlklns an after-dinner vith “acute stom: his’ hotel organ of hll probaflly hiy oe T8 braln.- n’ Rmd’book of by~ 'the No#th-" comsists of i 10 Show. l‘u)lb, Minn. “FHE BIG THREE VACUUM Harness | WASHING mcmm: wnh cloibes clean, . It lell: $100 cuh. Mlulnll'a Electric then wash in from four to ellht minutes, % pnce 3155 00 mh AN ELECTRIC IRON WILL PLEASE HER Electric irons have been the imom to the users of irons for a long (ime, yet lots of women are using the old time killing stove heated irons and others are getting on with the old lectric iron: that does not heat at the toe, or has a rough face. Electnc irons such as the AMERICAN BEAUTY have an excess of heat at the toe. Nickle plated face and an electric clemen: lh-fl will years. Price $8.50. They are the cheapest iron yecu can b Royal Rochester of. HOT POINT Electric I:ons give wonderful satisfaction. Price $6.50 each. ; ‘ UNIVERSAL or ROUND OAK " RANGE Many women are getting on with an old worn out range or cook stove—an implement a man would re- fuse to use at all. Think of the: pleasure they. would get from a UNIVERSAL OR ROUND OAK RANGE. These ranges are worth $95.00 and more each, and . are sold at cash discounit or on the payment plan. Get her a range fo CHfilSTMAS Tibbets for this great hutmg plant. 316-318 " MINNESOTA AVE. ., mdtluy can ufford to spend four or fm undred . dollars to get a good heating plant. You can get a GALORIC HEATING. PLANT FOR $175.00 or $200.00, and we wnnl you to know that for the average one or two story house of ‘modern plan; thun is no heatmg plan! as good or better than the CALORIC HPELEss FURNACE. " S O r home heats with very httle fuel a day, My furmtute does.niot creak, or break at the joints, The GALORIC is.ideal.” E. H. Denu, ‘1207 Minnesota avenue has récently installed a GALORIC. He was predjudlced against a pipeless furnace, but admits that'the GALORIC is heatmg his house in fine shape and does it with less fuel than was used in stoves. We have many:other users in this locality and every one is a booster for the GALOR[C If you are interested, just ask the man who owns one. Users are our best advertisers. We can install your CALORIC in one day: and we know you will be a: uhlfled booster “Do Your CHRISTMAS SHOPPING in >Bemidji and buyit in a - hardware store. “You will firid ours loaded with thousands of S “GIF TS OF UTILITY.” Given Hardware Company do the heating for 10 or ‘more wy. Some ffillu think !lle m\nt wait It evaporates a’ g-allvfl of water BEMIDJI, MINNESOTA