Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, January 31, 1922, Page 6

“The First Hundred Years, Ete. *.Taday is the. first anniversary off the founding of the Twentieth Cent- ury column, and we have-been, in- formed that some people haven’t found it yet.- ‘A year ago we thought it would be a snap to conduet such u column as this. Today we feel doubly certain that it would be a snap if we ddn’t have to do this every day. But we are encouraged by the old adage that “the first hundred years are the worst.” Ninety-eight ~years from now, if we get real tired by that time, we can fool the people by running last year’s gags. Then during the time usually cohsumed in writing up this stuff, we can devote our attention to something more profitable—some- thing which may tend to keep the wolf from gnawing the welcome sign off the door mat. . —Read 'Em And Weep— A Crude Joke. In face of; the imvestigations be- infg carried on into almost everything of account, one fellow of our ac- quaintance says that the price of re- fined oil is. still cruge.,. —A. Smooth Subject—" Optimism Unrefined: An optimist is a fellow who is grateful for all small favors. For! example, theres the fellow who ad- mits that a cold in the head is a lot| better than nothing at all. —Did It Ever Occur To You?— Mufflers? “The modern girl muffles:and hides her ears in her hair,” says Uncle Jed,” but from my. observations she still contrives to hear when a man proposes; to. her.”? i —Ain’t 1t A Fact?— But Mother Doesn’t Believe It. Mother sometimes tells the children a fairy story after she puts them to bed for the night and then sometimes father tells 'a fairy story to mother after she puts him to.bed for the rest of the morning. The hard part of it for father is that it takes a bet- ter story to put mother to sleep than it did for mother to put the kids to sleep. —If That’s Possible— World’s Champion. Daredevil: The St. Louis. Pioneer Press de- clared once that no war hero had the same degree of absolute and unques- tioned courage as the man who lived with two wives in the same apart- ment. What does the Pioncer Press man know ahout either? —He Didn’t Tell That— Daily Song Service “In life: we're: handed wmany whacks, The thnrrh.-sl: oneis the income ax.” .o —Mostly: Whack Up— Buy Her a Raincoat. A milkman' was once: brought be- fore the court on a charge of having. adulterated milk and selling it to his customers. When asked by the judge if he had anything to say in his own defense, he replied: “Well, your honor,” - replied the milkman, “the night before it was raining hard, ahd the only cause T can give is that the cow must have got wet through.” Personally, we think that the first }vnlr,q he said was ‘“‘saying a mouth- ul —The Milkman Was Soaked Too— BRITAIN'S KING OPENS NEW PARLIAMENT TODAY (Continued from' Page 1) the king and queen proceeded to the robing room where they donned their state robes and crowns. A stately procession was then formed, including: all the high court dignitaries, kings- of-arms ‘and heralds in gorgeous Plan- tagenet tabards, plumed and ribboned’ Gentlemen-at-Arms, ete., and proceed- ed to the legislative chamber. Here the peers and peeresses were assem- bld in full vobes and coromets, while the galleries were packed with distin- guished spectators. The ambassador's box was well filled, its occupants in- cluding the United States Ambass: dor, Col. Harvey; the Brazilian, Jap- anese, French, Spanish and Italian ambns:yxgiors, and Argentine and Chil- ean ministers. . Mounting the steps of the throne, the king gave three elaborate hows, firnt-tu-the‘ right, second to the cen- tre, and thivd to the left; afterwards requesting “My Lords and Ladies, pray. be seated.” Princess Mary . oc- cupied the Prince of Wales gilt chair on the right of the throme, The Commons having assembled at the Bar of .the House, Lord Chancellor Birk- enhead, an imposing figure: in"biack al gpld striped robe, advanced, and kneeling on the steps of the throne. presented the parchment copy of the kmg’_s speechi; . With the sword of state and the imperial crown borne by noblemen of his right hand, King George donned his uniform ¢ap and read his speech from the throne in-a toud clear voice. " ADDITIONAL WANT ADS FOR RENT—One modern, furnish- 1 000,000 more | If ‘she_did, MARKETS e A POTATO MARKET Chicago, Jan. 31:—Potatoes dull; receipts 65 cars, total U. S. ship- ment 518; on track 178. Wisconsin round white, $1.85 to $2.00; Minne- sota, ‘sacked, $1.75 to $1.85; Red River Ohios, sacked, $2.00. —_— SAYS GERMANY CANNOT SETTLE ALLIED DEMAND (Continued From Page 1) magnificent mineral resources of Al- sace-Lorraine. LI “TPhere is only. one way by which Germany can. pay an.indemnity and that is by exporting. She has to| turn pre-war excess of imports into. a gigantic excess of exports. 2 i | ships, minus most of her foreign in- vestments. { © “How, then, is this smaller, pno‘r—! ‘er cotintry to flood the world with| goods on a scale never dreamed of | when she was a larger and richer| country? “Think of what the dimensions of | the flood of German exports would have to be. 1 “In 1912' German exports were| 440,000,000 pounds. In 1913 they, rose to 496,000,000 sterling. Neg-“. lecting the great change in valuesw we have to add for indemnity pay-| ments, for losses of shipping. and for| loss of domestic materials. The min-} imum indomnitg payments (i. e. ex- ports) are 150,000,000 pounds a| year and the maximum 400,000,000 pounds a year. So that Germany’s| exports, unless ~ her imports would| have ta' be increased to, taking the minimum . indemnity, = 766,000,000 pounds. This is arrived at by tak- ing the pre-war German export fig- ure of 496,000,000 and adding an in-| crease in exports of 120,000,000 to.| atone- for loss of shipping and ma-! terials under the treaty and of 150,-; exports, to pay the minimum indemnity. 1 “This sum, - which neglects the| rise in values, would have to-be in-| creased ~ 1,016,000,000° pounds to| meet the maximum indefnnity. “How are these figures to be met when the bulk of the German people are so poor? “The copsumption of the average German can be reduced by taxation to’increase exports, but even in 1913 the' German average income per head of population was less: than 12 shiltings a week aiid the corréspond- ing figure today, reckoning in gold :md not paper marks, is very much less, world at large that Germany cannat pour out’' German goods ‘at 800" to 1,000 million pounds sterling-a year. the greater industrial' countries would encounter such a de- gree of unemployment that millions ! of their people would be plunged inCo| misery. Already British miners and shipworkers- are heavily unemployed because of the Germen ' indemmity payments in coal and ships: “It is a matter of world 'interest to reduce the indemnity to figures: first, which Germany cah pay and, secondly, which. would mean the ex- port by Germany of such a moderate stream of goods as the world’s mar- kete "coulll “absorb without disloca~ T6 BE HELD IN ST, PAUL (Continued from Page 1) modations for tourists will be orie of the principal subjects discussed. Senator P. H. McGarry of Walker, president and general manager of the ‘Ten ' Thousand Lakes . of' Minnesota | association will preside over the meetings. i Y At noon,” February 9th ‘and’ 10th, those attending the confercnce wilkbe the guests at open forum juncheons of the Minneapolis Civie and 'Com- merce association and the Saiut Paut association. ~Harry N. Burhans, ex- ecutive secretary, Denver.Tourist bu- reau, Denyer, Colorddo, will speak on the value of tourist- business. <, s “So rapid has been the growth of travel in. Minnesota,” said Senator McGarry *‘since the advertising of our recreational resources was first begun, that we are now confronted with the problem of how te take care of | our ever-increasing influx of visitors. With the program of road building be- |ing carried on throughout ‘the state this travel will grow each year and we should start now to devise ways jand means to meet this condition. By talking this matter over with repre- sentatives from every section of'the state we can prepare to take care of room. Inquire = at 621 Bemidji Ave. 221 [ R T ¥ *® man, who drives for the McKinnon Co., ran away last Tuesday, getting | hunlg | & Internationai tracks. able’ damage. was done to Mr. Hoff- man’s sled ‘and goods. monthly business meeting night. y ous in two games played with the two: community teams. } team and basketball I'Lake will go to Northern to ‘spell and play their teams. - the intermediate room is‘one of -the| best movements that was ever inau-| gurated at Carr Lake. man’ or woman who faces the world with a good. vocabulary and high ideals in_language much easier to travel than he or she who has not. these. assets. the friendly way me-travel together| to achieve the best things for coun-| “But Germany is now an impov-| try life” One of these best things erished - country, minus Alsace-Lor- | is good ymmar and proper spcech. raine, minus the Saare coal, minus Mrs. John Spper has been ill for several days at her home. “Apd how fortunate it is for ‘the| % BEMIDJI TOWNSHIP * FREX KKK R ERRRKKES The team belonging to Mr. Huff- on a stump near the Minnesota Consider- The Athletic association held- its Saturday The school team was victori- the spelling! On Friday evening team of Carri The Good Language campaign in The young finds ‘the trail “Along Knew Him Well. One summer I visited in a fashiona- ble little town in the West. I went to a tea one afternoon;, and while there met; a woman who said she. knew; some one who lived in the town in which I also lived. She asked wme if I happened to know a certain man. I said: {Yes, I know who he is.f Aud I vemember that at one time he tovk a lariat rope and tried to lariat a well-educated and charming school teacher becpuse bhe wanted her to| p. marry his son. She did not seem will- ing, 5o he used these measures to| force her to do s0.” 1 After this explanation of the knowl- edge I possessed of the man she added: . “Well, my dear, he is my brother.” 2 . I.sought another part of the garden. —Chicago Tribun Literary Tidbits. From a British Bpok—“She was a good cook, af cooks’ go—and as cooks go she went.”” One noticeable thing: about our fic- tion . characters is that they don't spend much time earning a living. . No, Roger, “The Triumph of the Egg,” though it is a story, does not relate low the egg reached its pe- cuniary eminence. 2 From Princess Bibesco's book, “I Have Only Myself to Blame,” we call {his literary flower: “When he was with her now he stammered. He didn’t know that a stammer i the divine eloquence of love.” 2 = Book.ke'e'pergFalh Heir _One hundred and twenty-fifth an- niversary of the birth of Franz Schu- bert, the: world’s: greatest song writ- er. Nathan Straus, New York philan-| thropist and one of the most eminent | representatives ‘'of American Jewry, enters upcn his 75th year today. Portugal observes today as Mem- orial”Day, in celebration of the anni- versary-of the first’ attempt<to es- tablish a republie, in- 1891, Today is expected to-see the final conipletion of all arrangements pre- liminary to the great papal- eonclave -in' Rome. The comprehensive plan of the Port of New York authorities for'the development' of’ the ~ Port of New York will be the subject of a legisla- tive: hearing ‘at' Albany today: ‘A" special’ election will ‘be held in Missouri today to choose delegates to the proposed: —State Constitutional convention. A number = of women are among -the ‘candidates. Conventions Today . Philadelphia_— National Associa- tion of Merchant Tailors. Altcona, Pa.—Pennsylvania Elec- tric association. Greensboro, N. :€G.—North. Caro- lina Hospital association. In The Day’s News Cardinal Merry del Val, whose chances of suceeeding to! the pontifi- cal throne are. considered excellent in the remote: ‘possibility that the ‘choice should . fall: upon a foreign Cardinal, is a native of Spain, though his family on the paternal side is of rish origin. ~His mother was Eng- lish and he:'was educated at Stoney- hurst. cellege, ‘the 'famous Jesuit in- stitution - near-hondon. Merry del Val is d former papal secretary of state, but it was in the diplomatic sérvice -that heimade his greatest reputation. His first imflortant dip- lommatic. missioni was when he: was sent to Canada some years ago to inquire into the ‘controvérsy over the Manitoba school.question. Later he served as the special ambassador of the Pope at thé: coronation of King ‘Edward 'VHI. Besides his two na- tive languages and Latin, the Cardi- nal speaks, German, French and Italian fluently. One Year Ago Teday United States Pacific -flect reach- ed_ Valparaiso, Chili. President Harding refused to par- don Eugene V. Debs. Today’s :Birthdays Irvine L. Lenroot, United States senator from Wisconsin, born at Su- perior, Wis., 53 years ago_ today. Rear Admiral Henry A. Wiley, U. S. N.,_the new commandant of the Charlestown Navy' Yard and the First | Naval District, born in' Alabama, 56 | years ago today. Nathan Straus, eminent New York merchant” and philanthropist, born to Fortune “Upon the death of an-uncle, I in- herited $50,000. I gave up my posi- tion 'and intended enjoying myself when .1 was stricken with a severe case of stomach trouble and colic at- tacks.” Two of these attacks made me lose consciousness. After treat- ing with our hest doctors with little benefit, I decided to try Mayr’s Won- derful Remedy, and it helped me at once. T have been' entirely well for past year.” i 1t is a-simple, harmless preparation that removes the catarrhal mucus from' the intestinal tract and allays the inflammation which causes prac- tically all stomach; liver and intesti nal ailments, including appendicitis One dose will convince or money re-, funded.—At All Druggists.—Adv. A LIFETIME CHANCE FOR BEMiIDJI MAN! A BUSI- NESS GQOD FOR $6,000 TO $12,000 A YEAR! Have you courage to strike out for yourself? 'An insurance man in_South Carolina, a farmer in Wisconsin, a hutcher in Iowa, gtli~: ers all over the U. S.—these: wanted a rcal money-making ness. Electrik Maid Bake Shops gave them their chance: ~Today they and many others own their owns prospercus Electrik " Maid Bake_ Shops. - These men knew nothing’ about the bakery busi- ness. We supplied full equip- ment and information. You ‘have the same big opportunity in Be- midji. A _cash business; no charges; 1o deliveries; your prof- its in the till ‘'every night." Good 365 days in a year. Exclusive ter- - ritory. Goad Minnesota: towns tapidly being taken up. Quick ac- tion needed. - WRITE OR WIRE TODAY! For full particulars, * Act now for exclugive rights in Bemidji. LECTRIK MAID BAKE SHOPS 321 Cedar St. St. Paul, Mian. Fin SAUM RLE S E R in Bavaria 74 years ago today. Frederick L. Lehlbach, representa- tive in congress of the Tenth New York district, born in New York City 46 years. ago today. Henry F. Lawrence, Tepresenta- tive in congress the Third Mis- souri district, born in Decatur coun- ty, Ind., 54 years ago O,pdgy. Naturally Indignant. 3 Melvin failed- to receive much ben-* efit .from: his Sunday school lesson. His two older: brothers took him to Sunday sehool, and after it was over neglected to look for him. He was dis- covered crying by a neighbor and taken home. When he arrived home: his in- dignation toward his:brothers was ter- rible to witness., ‘He stamped his foot and said, “You took-we down there and losed me!” ) PR R ] x , x HEEREEEX One of the: two/Institutes held in Beltrami® couhty. -was held at the Saum " school ‘house Saturday, Jan- ory 28. - Ehree speakers were pres- ate, 0. M: Olson and ohr county*agent, D. C. Dvorcaek. Quite a » inumber: were: present, inejuding. & number of ladies. The community play is coming assembling of the | d: | . AID 1O AN, " BECUL SWE GANT NENER FIND A THING WHERE GWE WANS 1T\ Among those who have been ' ab- sent this week are: “Hulda Carlson, Edith - Carlson, Vernice Rust, Alvin Wolden, Agnes Olson, Elmer Carl- son and Ella Boness. e The eighth grade grammar class have been taking up clauses. . The examinations, both school and state; are now past, and school-is back to. its general routine-with. the exception of some new gubjects, along fine.. It is expected it will be given about Lincoln’s birthday.: BEv- erybody looks forward to it as being one of the best plays ever given here. All are anxiously waiting for. it to be given. % -t "A _girl ‘was born to"Mr. and Mrs. Jerome Sprague Wednesday, Janu- ary 25. 5 Jasper Garland of Kelliher visited at the hgme of Ole Wolden over Sunday. was reported to be fine. The visitors present were: < Mrs. Tony Johnson, Mrs. Ole’ Startraen, Jr., and Selma Dakken. - The-high school_room, to their regret, couldinet see. it. Mrs. Ole Stantraen, Jr., and Sel- ma Dakken visited the high- school reom Friday: afternoon. " . The English IL class are now tak- }?g up poems - out of Idols of .the ing. School News - ‘Quite a number of pupils have been absent from school lately on ‘account “of illness. -Sore throat and hegdache seems to be the prevailing sickness.. . Noamo and Floyd Misner were lit- tle visitors at the Saum school Fri- B. W, Lakin, Pres. BEMIDII LUMBER & FUEL CO. Opposite Great Northern Depot ay. 2 The program in Mrs. Allén’s room e | Building Material and Fusl WE BUY ANDVSEI.L TELEPHONE 100 New’ and ‘Second-Hand : FURNITURE | STOVES, RANGES, BEDS, etc. z COMPLETE STOCK PROMPT DELIVERIES Hard and Soft Cofl-—Briqget_;ts{—Blgcksmith Coal SOFT COAL A.D,VANCED» 50¢ FEBRUARY 15T T CRITICAL DINERS have found this restaurant ' ‘an ideal place: at which to eat. Service and surround- ings are perfect and you have only to taste our viands to know -they are exquisite. Stop in and have dinner with us and judge for ‘yeurself. EATHER exposiire ‘and hard work ‘bring pains and aches in - muscles and’ “joints, Have a bottle of Sloan’s Liniment handy and apply freely. Penetrates without rubbing. ou will find at once a com(mfifi T T T sense of warmth which will be followed by a ‘relief from the soreness and stiffness of aching joints. Y Also relieves rheumatism, sciatica, meuralgia, sprainsand strains. 3 For forty years pain’s enemy. Ask your neighbor. At all druggists—35c,:70c;:$1,40. -9 T ETUTTCUTI AT G T AT EEELL TR T oL [T T T [T THE UNIVERSAL CAR. (F. O. B, DETROIT) The new FORD Touring, Roadster, Coupe, Sedan, Trucks. Just got in| a carload. All models on display in our show room. : 1922 will be the biggest Ford year in histery. * Sinee the recent drop in FORD prices t;ge, demand has jumped way beyond production. ; Plaéeiiy nr order now for spring delivery. It isn't a day too éarl);:**’We nmust place opr order f_ ¥ cars w§th the Ford Motor Company a morgih in ad-vince, so please let us have your order now. We will hold your car until you want it, spring ‘or summer, and spring’ will soon be here. Remember—Fords are down in price and they will be” _hard to ‘get. ; &2 il IR _—— 1922 will mean. nothing to the untrain- ed man who does not prepare him- gelf to “bécome skilled “in some trade or profession. . THE BAR- BER TRADE offers splendid op- portunities.. High salaries or start in"business for yourself with small capital. Now is the time to act. Our enlarged location offers latest equ:pment and methods of instruc< tion. - Write for FREE illustrated catalog today. SR TWIN CIT¥ BARBER COLLEGE 204 Hennepin Ave. ° Minneapolis Minn. < SEE THE NEW MODELS ON DISPLAY [T FORD SALES AND SERVICE BEMIDJI, MINN. 418-22 Beltrami ;\ve. Telephone 970-971. b TR our visitors next summer,” | +