Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, June 26, 1913, Page 2

OLLIKINS Dear: So you ‘want :to. know how I spent the Glorious Fourth? Was I sane and sedate, comport- ing myself in a manner be fitting a brand-new college graduate, or did I run oft and romp with Brother forgetting all my recently acquired dignity? Alas, my dear! I must confess that my Fourth was far, far from sane, and that instead of recoverng my sanity Tve—But there, my studies in prose style should teach me better than to jump at the conclusion of my story iike that! I'll begin at the beginning. It was Independence day. The sun was shining in newly awakened splen- dor, when the casual observer might have discerned a solitary female form gracefully scaling the stone wall be- tween the luxuriant back gardens of the Hendersons and the ditto ditto of the Bartletts—Tom and-his family are staying with her mother, you know, ' mext door. This feat accomplished, our heroine (that’s me!) proceeded up the Bart- lett lawn, collecting dewdrops on her trailing cheesecloth draperies and, in- cidentally, getting her new white shoes deplorably damp. Her slender form was draped also in a large American flag, and her raven curls were surmounted by a fillet of silver stars. was the result of a promise to “dress up” for the two adoring and adorable nmephews, Bert and Bob. Arrived be- neath the window of the room: usu- elly occupied by the nephews, the Goddess of Liberty proceeds to the time-honored ceremony of saluting them; this she does by setting off ten packs of small firecrackers, followed by a “sock dolager” of a big one. No Jjoyful acclamations follow. Aunt Peggy is frankly puzzled; clearly, the boys are oversleeping, and she bursts into song, rendering the “Star-span- gled Banner” with dramatic effect, marred only by a breathless squeak Gracefully Scaling the Stone Wall. on the final “Land of the free.” Still no Bob and Bert. Our heroine shiee & bit of turf at the window, with & command, “Wake up, lazybones!” and as the window sash begins to creak responsively she begins to caro “Shouting the Battle Cry of I'reedom” at the top of her very healthy lungs for Aunt Peggy has no foolish dig nity when it's a question of amusing ‘the kiddies. 'At last the window opens wide and, looking up, she sees— Polly, what do you: think? Instead o two, little white nighties = and twe tousled curly heads, there was a man! A strange young man, my dear; blonde, blue-eyed, immaculate -in g beautiful duck suit and: gazing at me _to be mild horror, to ‘but it 4} sounded ‘like perfect " non- Tom’s kiddies, as usual, | This Goddess of Liberty effect | ocouldn’t imagine who he could be. However, it seemed to be up to me ta do something, 80 I drew mywelf to my ocommanding height of five feet four inches and begged his pardon for dis- turbing. him, explaining that my Httle nephews usually’ occupied tb',gt room, and that they were expecting me. over lebrate. the: Fourth with them— sense. - Just then, to my mingled relief -and-annoyance, Tom appeared st the ‘window, too, with a flendish grin, as he sized up the situation and my cos tume. “Been serenading you, has she, Archie?” ‘he asked affably, while ‘1 ‘boiled with helpless rage. “You mustn’t mind it, old man; it's the day we cele brate, .you know, and our patriotism still runs so high that even the girls seek out peaceable English visitors and taunt them with our independence. Quite the usual thing.” Then, at “Archie” and I preserved a helpless silence, Tom sobered down and intro duced us in proper style, and as soon as I heard the name I remembered ‘Sheridan’s Double Marriage. It was'in 1857 that the Gretna Greea marriages were made illegal. A glance at its registers may yet inspire the novelist of the future. One entry will be sure to-puzzle.: Twice within a few days occurs the record of the marriage of Richard Brinsley Sheridan to Miss Grant.. There was only one R. B. 8., only one bride for the same gentleman. The double entries are not the result of any ‘blunder on the part of the Rev. Mr.. Vulcan.: ‘The parties were really twice married at Gretna‘'Green. Arriv- ing on a Sunday they were duly wed- ded and sped away to Edinburgh. There, however, Sheridan chanced to glance at a-newspaper in which ap- peared the lucubrations of a lawyer. In these plainly stated was the fact that no contract executed on a Sunday | is binding. Clearly, then, their wed- ding was not.legal. Back to Gretna Green they scurried, to be remarried on a week day and leave the dual rec- ord to perplex later generations.—St. James. Gazette. that Archie Vane was Tom’s chum in London, when he was over there set ting up some machinery. He had just landed and Tom, running across him in New York the night before, had in sisted on his coming home with him to spend the Fourth—all natural enough when Tom explained it. 8o there I'd been bearding the British lion in his den with militant American .noises on the anniversary of a day ig- nored by all good Englishmen; and here was the British lion looking ai me with his ingenuous blue eyes as 11 he was trying to decide whether I'd bite or not. “l warn you,” Tom added, in his tactful little way, “that Peggy is a rabidly patriotic person, so I wouldn't advise you to start any discussions on International issues. This Columbis getup is quite in character, so be ware!” Alice and the boys came oul on the porch just then and wanted m¢ to stay to breakfast; but of course | declined with dignity and went home— via the front gate, however, instead o the garden wall. When I turned t¢ latch it that Englishman was still look ing at me in a dazed sort of way. The plot thickens. After breakfas my beloved kiddies rushed over to beg me“to go with them on the usual fam ily picnic to the pine grove, and ! hadn’t the heart to disappoint them. | wore my most sensible clothes, and ! tried hard to be haughty and distan to Mr. Vane; but hé& kept developing such nice qualities that somehow | couldn’t keep it up, especially as he ig nored my crazy performance of the morning so ‘successfully. He was 1 1.1 4 b ol i Tom Appeared at the Window, Too. positive genius when it came to chas- ing cows, fixing hammocks, unpacking luncheon and all the ‘regular picnio stunts. The boys adored him, and he was simply angelic to the old folks; and by the time we went home 1 couldn’t scare up a resentful feeling. Yes, Polly, I know; you needn’t re- mind me of all the hateful things I've said about Englishmen and the' times I've vowed I couldn’t, and wouldn’t care for one, not if he asked me on his bended 'knees. Yes, and I've demon- strated often that no one but an American man was a fit companion for an American girl. I've said heaps of perfectly ferocious things, and I sup- |- pose I meant every one of them. But that was before Archie— Polly, dear, do you know, he says it was all over with him from the first moment he saw me—and in that circus-parade rig! Isn’t it absurd—and lovely? And, just think, it's only a week since we met, though we both agree that it seems like years. And you should see my ring—a quaint, old, old one, that be- | longed to his great-great-grandmother! And his people live in a lovely old Elizabethan house, in a regular Cran- || H ' GREAT’CLO'SING OUT SALE | ford town; and his mother’s a dear little old-fashioned soul with side curls, and idolizes him. Please don’t remind me of anything I ever said about effete tradition, will' you, Polly? I'm not going to England yet awhile, though, for Archie’s here indefinitely, to learn American business methods, in Tom’s Hne .of work. I really. have a little spark of American pride, I guess, for I am glad he's only a younger son, with | no title within reach, though I ‘don’t suppose I'd mind that, or anything else. Because, Polly dear, I'm not shouting the battle cry of Ireedom nowadays. Somehow. it. gets -all mixed up with “Rule Britannia.”, Do come up with me soon and discuss the new Anglo-’ ‘Sazon alllance with your' bewildered but blissful PEGGY. © ' Can’t Keeplt Secret. | The splendid work of Chamber- lain’s Tablets is daily. becoming more 1 widely Knpwn. No such grand rem: |/ edy. for mgch' ‘and liver troubles| has n known. . For. sale by Barker’s Drug Store.—Adv. Take Plenty of Time to Eat. There is a saying that “rapid eat- ing is slow suicide.” If you have formed the habit of eating too rapidly you are most likely suffering from in- digestion or constipation, which will result eventually in serious illness unless corrected. Digestion begins in the mouth. Food should be thorough- ly masticated and insalivated. Then when you have a fullness of the stom- ach or feel dull and stupid after eat- ing, take one of Chamberlain’s Tab- lets. Many severe cases of stomach trouble and constipation have been cured by the use of these tablets. They are easy to take and most agree- able in effect. Sold by Barker’s Drug Store.—Adv. - < ‘f p— - DAILY (reg'u’]arly selling at $12) SEERIICEEEE € 14 ‘promptly on the distribution days. Great| Book Bargain Five Big§ Volumes, $1.98w Regularly [ Selling at LEEEEECECCTECESCESEESEE q, .. 'Yl 5 . 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