Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, August 12, 1907, Page 2

THE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER PUBLISHED SVERY AFTNANOON, OFFICIAL PAPER---CITY:OF BEMIDJI BEMIDJI PIONEER PUBLISHING CO. LYDE . PRYOR | ' A d. RUTLERGR Entered in the postofice at Bemidji. Minn., s second class master. SUBSCRIPTION---$5.00 PER ANNUM “BOOSTS” FOR BEMIDJ\. Grand Rapids Independent: Be- midji has captured the next state convention of Elks, and the Elks who attend next year may be assured of treatment fit for kings. Let Bemidji get proper auditorium room, and it will keep the twins and Duluth humping to keep the con- ventions away from the town with the funny name. Akeley Independent: The State Association of FElks convened at Stillwater this week where the most successful meeting of the asso- ciation was held. Bemidji Lodge No. 1052 B. P. O. E. was accorded the pleasure and honor of entertaining the Elks in 1908 and they can rest assured that that thriving and enterprising bunch of the “Best people on Earth” will give them a live time. (OBSERVATIONS. Self-confessed ignorance often indicates wisdom. And it is betterto be a has-been than a never-was. Most people who are stuck upare nothing but sticks. It takes a mighty good Christian to pray for the ice man. If it wasn’t for the unexpected life would be awfully monotonous. Loan sharks are anxious to meet people who want to borrow trouble. Some people refuse to put their best foot forward more than an inch. The early bird catches the worm —if the early fisherman does’nt beat him to it. A man likes to be told that he is in his prime, buta woman always thinks it a reflection on her age. | Figure This Out For Yourself. Calculations offer a great many in- teresting propositions for the studlous- 1y inclined. J. Dunk of Baltimore has compiled a rather remarkable arrange- ment of the title of a song from “Mile. Modiste"—“I Want What I Want When I Want It.” In the following twenty-five squares the words are so arranged that by beginning in the up- per left hand corner and rending across aor down, not up, the sentence can be read In 18,421 different ways, accord- ing to the arranger. There I8 no time this week to verify the count, but any one may do so who has lelsure. Here 1 the arrangement: A sentence which could be read for- ward or backward, such as “Raw was X ere I saw war,” if it had nine sylla- bles, could be written in the same ar- rangement of squares and -could be read In 86,842 different ways, or dou- ble the above Illustration, as it could be read down from the upper left hand corner or up from the lower right hand oorner.—Baltimore News. 8orry He Spoke. The conductor was Inclined to seek for sympathy, “Do you see that wo- man on the left hand side of the car, up near the front?” he asked the thin man on the back platform, “Yes, I see her.” *The one with the dizzy hat?’ “Yea.” “Well, I think she's tryln’ to beat me out of a fare. When I went in to col- lect she never looked around, an' I ain't quite sure that she didn’t pay me before, although I'm almost positive About it. 8he looks to me like a wo- man ‘'who'd be glad to stir up a fuss. I can pick 'em out as far as I can see Jem. You never spot a woman with 8 face like that who len't ready to bluft her way anywhere. I wish to thunder I knew whether she had paid Der fare or not.” » “1 wouldn't worry about it any more,” sald the thin man. “I paid the Jady’s fare some time ago. She's my pnle."—hgoum Present Troubles. “Ah, pretty lady,” sald the fortune teller, “you wish to be told about your future husband?” “Not much,” replied Mrs, Galley. “T've come to: learn where my present husband is when he’s absent.”—Phila- . Gelphia Press. Evolution, “Father,” sald little Rollo, “what s evolution?”’ “Bvolution, my sen, s a sort of apol oy which man has Invented for dis- playing g0 many of the! traits of the lower animals.”—Washington Star. ‘When a perfectly strange woman came for the solled clothes the mis- tress of the house came to the conclu- sion that her own laundress had sim- ply employed a new messenger and, made no. comment on the circum- stances, But when two weeks had gone by and still the old laundress, known as Susan, no last name having been men- tioned, did not appear the mistress of the house felt that she would be lack- ing in her duty if she did not make some inqulry about her. “Where is Susan?’ she asked the tall and bony structure who came for the clothes. “She has gone to Pennsylvania to live, yessum,” returned this person, with composure. ‘She went to Penn- sylvania some time ago, an’ she lef’ goodby fer yuh, but &' long es yuh dldn't seem tuh notls I didu't say ouffin’.” “But why didn’t she come and tell me and allow me to make some ar- rangements about my laundry?” asked Susan’s ex-mistress. “Well, she lef’ yo' clothes tuh meh. She made a will an’ lef’ dem clothes tuh meb. Wese allus been good frien’s, and so w'en she lef’ she say I may wash yo' clothes long ez I wush tuh, an’ dere wuz no use worryin’ yuh ‘bout it, now was dere?” To which moderate and sensible ques- tion the mistress of the house could only remain speechless. — Baltimore News. Satisfied Her Curlosity. " A certain south side lady bas come to the conclusion that curiosity can no longer be indulged in with any degree of safety. One night she entertained a group of friends and at the moment of departure, when conversation al- ways lags a trifle, her eye fell idly on a package carried by one of the men. “What is it you have there?’ she asked, with hardly .a thought of what she was saying. “Well,” said another guest, springing forward, with mock indignation, “if he’s going to be searched, I feel that all of us should be subjected to the same indignity.” “Oh, 1,” commenced the hostess, her face flushing—“I give you my word that”— “I can prove the ownership of this watch,” cried one man. “This was my mother’s ring” ex- plained another. And so it went down the line until the laugh came just in time to save the life of the hostess. Hereafter one of her guests can walk off with the grand piano and be free from remark.—Kansas City In- dependent. ‘Worth the Difference. A big jobber sent an aspiring young man on the road to open up a new ter- ritory where a new railroad was going through. All the towns being new, there were no hotel accommodations, and It was necessary for the salesman to secure meals and lodging at restau- rants, etc., where the price was 25 cents per meal. On looking over the expense account the manager noticed all meals charged at 50 cents. “Look here, Charlie; I see you have charged us 50 cents per meal on your trip, and I am rellably informed that 1t is impossible to get a meal for more than 25 cents in your entire territory. How about It?” “Well,” sald the salesman, “you are right. It did cost me but 25 cents per meal, but I tell you, sir, it’s worth the other 25 to eat those meals.”—New York Times. How Tin Foll Is Made. Tin foll, which is extenstvely used for wrapping tobacco, certain food prod- ucts and other articles of commerce, Is & combination of lead with a thin coat- ing of tin on each slde. -First a tin pipe is made of a thickness proportion- ate to Its dlameter, proportion not giv- en. This pipe is then filled with molten lead and rolled or beaten to the ex- treme thinness required. In this proc- ess the tin coating spreads simultane- ously with the spreading of the lead icore and continuously maintalns a thin, even coating of tin on each side of the center sheet of lead, even though It may be reduced to a thickness of +001 inches or less.—American Inventor, s Her Disease. One day Marjorie, aged three, wanted to play doctor with her sister. Marjo- rle was to be the “doctor” and she came; to make a call on her sister, who madg believe she was sick. “Do you want to know what you've got?’ the doctoi asked after a.critical examina- tlon. “Yes,” falntly assented the sick woman. “You've got dirty hands,” sald Marjorle, dropping in disgust the wrist on which she had been feeling the pulse—Buffalo Commercial. He Knew the Kind. ‘A small boy In Boston was rebuked by his father for swearing. “Who told you that I swore?” asked the bad little boy. “Oh, a little bird told me,” gald the father. The boy stood and looked out of the window at some sparrows which were chattéring. “I know who told you,” he sald. “It was one of those damn sparrows.” Her Mind. H Hilton—My wife is a matter of fact woman. She only speaks her mind. Chilton—8o does mine, but she changes ber mind 80 often that it keeps her talking all the time.—Chicago News. A Clever Manager. The Groom (very wealthy)—Why did you ever marry an ordinary chap like me? The Bride—I haven’t the slightest ldea. Mamma managed the whole af- falr. Amsterdam s the nearest Buropean capital to London, being only 189 miles distant. 8 i — # " . Raising Babies by Chart. We let machines in the form of nurses and governesses ralse our chil- dren under printed directions tacked upon the walls, And some mothers are proud of the completeness of their thraldom . to - these charts—actually proud because their babies are “sched- ule” youngsters. One day I was shown such a chart— : businesslike, austere product of pseudo sclentist’s brain and printers’ ink, - “Isw't it complete?” sald the.near mother. “Read it” - I read;: “Aerated milk. 9 a m. Bcraped quarter orange, 9:30 a. m. Pasteurized milk, 10 a. m, Slice of bealth toast, 1-16 ounce, 10:15 a. m. Modified milk, 8 ounces, 10:45 a. m. ‘Walk elghteen steps, 11 a. m, Two teaspoonfuls distilled water, 11:15a.m,” The rest of the chart was similar to this. “It 1s complete,” sald I, “but I should like to edit the next oue they| get out.” She opened her eyes and raised her brows. (You know the way superlor people, especially the recently superior kind, do it—so's you get a taste In your mouth right away as if she had handed you a grapefrult to eat with- out sugar.) “By putting in « line right here,” I sald, refusing to be frozen by her manner, “Twelve thirty to 1 o’clock, love baby a little.” She didn’t even thank me for the suggestion—actually, she didn’t. Wo- men are pecullar propositions. What? —Bohemian, Interviewing a Chinaman. I remember one distinguished Chi- nese who gave the newspaper men a big surprise. We knew that he was a high officer and that he had come to this country on a misslon of impor- tance, but not one of us dreamed of getting from him more than a per- functory Interview through one of his Interpreters. Through a secretary we conveyed to the big man our desire for an interview. Ie talked with his sec- retary in Chinese for a few moments, and then the secretary in halting Eng- lish invited us to accompany him and the chief to the officer’s suit. We filed In, dropped into the seats to which we were bowed by the statesman and walited for somebody to begin. As we hesitated a peculiar smile lit the big man’s face. Lying back in his chair, he cocked one leg over the other, lighted a cigar and dropped a bomb by saying: “Fire away, boys; I'm ready. But before you begin who won the boat race?”’—San Francisco Call. ~ Are Metals Alive? “Metals have life,” sald a metallur- gist irmly—“not much life, but a lt- tle. And metals can be stimulated, depressed, poisoned. “Platinum wire, immersed in water, gives off an electric current that may easlly be measured. If you put bi- carbonate of soda In the water, the stimulated wire gives off a stronger current. Put in bromide of potassium, and the depressed wire gives off a ‘weaker current. Finally, put in oxalic acld, and the poisoned wire gives off no current at all. It will never again glve off any current. It is dead. “Now, I leave it to you. If you can depress a metal,” exhilarate it and finally administer to it a fatal dose of poison, have you not a right to say that the metal has life?” A Mollified Subject. Nollekens, the sculptor, was a man of pretty wit and of neat resource in compliment. He had at one time for a sitter a woman of great beauty, but of an extremely nervous and impatient temperament. During her sittings she ‘would constantly change her position, and with each shift of posture her ex- pression changed. At last the sculptor’s patience gave way. . “Madam,” he cried, “of what avail i8 your beauty if you will not sit still till I have reflected it in my model?” The sitter smiled with gratified vani- ty and was as motionless as a lay fig- ure during the remainder of her sit- tings.—St. Louis Republic. ¥ “Strong Even In Death.” There is a characteristic story of an American woman formerly well known in London that will bear re- peating, says a writer in London Truth, The lady s said to have writ- ten the following letter to a royal personage: “Sir—My medical attendants have Jjust informed me that I am in a hope- less condition. I should die happy did I know that you would be represented at my funeral. I inclose a check for £1,000 to cover all expenses.” When He Got Sense. Husband—Have you still the letters 1 wrote you before we were married? Wife—Yes. Why? Husband — Bring them here. I want to burn them. I am just making my will, and I am afrald that if any of my relations see those letters after I am dead they will think I was of unsound mind.—Lustige Blatter. i __Easy, but Heavy. “I suppose it wis hard work to fol- low my argument?’ said the lawyer. “No,” answered the judge; “it was easy to follow it, but it was difficult to keep awake until the destination was reached.” ) Disappointed. “Tommy, you've got a new little brother. - Aren’t you glad?” “A brother? - I thought it would be a horse. Papa promised me one for such a long time.”—Loulsville Courler- Journal. A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin:| of little minds, adored by little states- men 'and philosophers and divines.— Bimerson. 7 Folding a Coat. Here 15 the way to fold a man’s coat when you want to pack it in a box or a trunk. Lay the coat out per- fectly flat, right side ‘up. Spread the sleeves out smoothly, then fold them back to the elbow until the bot- toms of the cuffs are even with the collar, Fold the revers back and dou- ble the coat over, folding it on the center seam. Smooth out all wrinkles and lay it on a level surface in the trunk. Fifteen Dollars In Her inside Pocket. Madge—What did Molly mean. by, saying' that joining the Audubon so- clety was a good business proposition? Marjorie—The dues are only $5, while & hat with feathers on it costs at least $20.—Harper's Weekly. His Promotion., ;| ““So_Jack's been made secretary and Areasurer of the company, has he?” “Yes. He has to copy all the letters: and take all the its to-the bank, and, oh, Mary, I'm 8o proud of him{": ~—Harper’s Bazar. Right overstrained turns to wrong NIGHTS OF UNREST No Sleep, No Rest, No Peace for the Sufferer from Kidney i Troubles. No peace for the kidney sufferer— Pain and- distress from morn to night, Get up with a lame back, Twinges of backache bother you all day, - Dull aching breaks your rest at night. - 5 Get at the cause—cure the kid- neys. 3 Doan’s Kidney Pills will work the cure, They’re for the kidneys only— L. H. Desentell, carpenter, em- ployed at the Pillsbury mill and liv- ing at 905 Twenty-first avenue S., Minneapolis, Minn., says: “In the fall of 1899, after using Doan’s Kid- ney Pills, procured at a drug store I felt warranted in recommending this remedy ‘to sufferers from kidney trouble and backache. I had kidney complaint for years, and the irregularity of the kidney secretions often caused me to loose my night’s rest. I tried a number of different remedies withoutfeffect, but when I began using Doan’s Kidney Pills I-felt better from the beginning and a few boxes com- pletely rid me of all symptoms of my trouble. This lead meto give a testimonial endorsing Doan’s Kid- ney Pills and I -have been recom- mending them ever since.” For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, New York, sole agents for the United States. Remember the name—Doans— and take no other. The Ruling Passion. A celebrated musical critic was mar- ried-in church some years ago, and after the ceremony, as the_ wedding procession marched down the aisle, the organist played the wedding march from “Lohengrin.” Ihen near the door, the bridegroom stopped in the march and addressed the wondering assembly thus: “I know I am committing a breach of etiquette as well as propriety in doing this, but I am not to blame. It is my mental organization which has become ineffably sensitive by reason of the critical nature of my duties.” Then he drew from the pocket df his dress coat a well thumbed copy of the score of “Lohengrin.”” Opening it_at the march, he went over to the organist and said: | 4 “What offended-my-ear was the fact that in the seventeenth bar of the da capo passage you flatted very badly, and in the andante movement you slurred the appogglatura. Now,” put- ting his finger upon the passage, “let us try that again.” Once more the organ pealed forth, and this time the player, conscious that the great critic was listening to him, accomplished his duty with credit to himself and to the great satisfac- tlon of the critic.—London Standard. Live and Die on the River. “The river population of Manila is a class by Itself,” said a traveler. “Not to be outdone by Canton, she has her sampans, known as cascoes and lorchas, supporting 15,000 people with- In the city limits, where thousands of children are born, grow, live and die on these floating cargo cairlers. They never dream of any other world than that which floats about them. These boats are small;-but accommodate a family of five to seven. They have a fire pot, a platform and a rice kettle. The cabin or covered portion Is very small—in fact, I don’t see how they live—and it is a wonder to me that the children don’t fall overboard and drown. You will often see a woman sltting at the end of the boat, rowing, with a child strapped on her back, looking for all the world like a little monkey.” Seized the Opportunity. There were bold thieves and bold methods in the earlier days in Holborn. Here Is an example: Said a stout, asthmatic old gentleman to a well dressed stranger who was passing: “A rascal has stolen my hat. I.trled to overtake him, but—I'm so out of breath—I can’t stir another inch.” The stranger surveyed the other with critical eye. The victim was puffing and panting as for dear life. In the pleasantest tone'in the-world the stran- ger sald, “Then Il be banged, old boy, If 1 don’t have your wig!” Sp eaying, He snatched that article from-the.suf- ferer’s head and departed like the: wind, leaving him with head as bare .as & babe’s.—St. James’ Gazette. ¥ Antiquity of the Census. . I The idea of the census is almost as- old as history itself.. King Amasls of,| Egypt.took a census of his ‘people 500 years before Christ. The Athenlan pose of facllitating taxation. We learn. that about 443 B. O. Servius Julius took a census of Rome. During the chaos of the dark ages the census drop- ped into oblivion, but was. revived agaln about the beginning of the eight- eenth century. The New Judge's Notes. Jusy rfo, Mr. Justice Britton tice Riddell, a ne were sitting together as a'col and Mr. i Wwere present, the presentation-of ment on behalt of one of the cllents' ‘was rather_prollx and not very muchi Lh‘the point, to put it mildly, Mr. Jus- tice Riddell, who, by the way, was not Chilef’ Justice Falconbridgs of Onta-|| y appolnted Judge, | in To- ronto. According to some, legalists who | argu- |/ one of them. a slip of paper, on which presumably were written some notes on the case, Tmmedlately the “notes” ‘were read, however, by his colleagues there was a subdued suggestion of mirth apparent on thelr part. It turn- ed out that the “notes” read after this fashion: 4 THH. “NOTES.” (With apologles to Mr. Rudyard Kipling,) *'0o s it makes that bloomin’ nolse?" | Asked Files-on-Parade. “It's counsel's openin' argument,” ‘The color sergeant said. “’00 "as to ‘ear the bally stuft?" Asked Files-on-Parade, “The chief and his two hired men,” ‘The color sergeant sald. “For he doesn’t know his law, he mis- represents the facts; His loglc 18 go rotten you can see through all the cracks, And he's pretty sure to get it where the chicken got the ax, ‘When the court delivers judgment in the morning.” —Oleveland Leader. A Boomerang Contract. The author of “A“Temperance Town” and “A Texas Steer” spent much of hig time In his country home, but one day he appeared unexpectedly in New York at the Lambs’ club. Golng straight to the cafe, he made one large, inclusive gesture, which brought every man pres- ent about him. “It's on me,” sald Mr. Hoyt. Then-he told his story. o It was before the days of electric and gasoline motors, and he had bought a little steam yacht. He engaged as his engineer one of his Yankee neighbors and offered him liberal wages, with the provision that the engineer should find his own coal. It was a long way to the nearest coal yard, and Mr. Hoyt had all the trouble he was looking for to keep his own furnace fed. “But where shall I get the coal?” the new engineer asked. “I don’t care,” sald the foremost of American stage humorists, = “Steal it.” So the bargain was struck. All went well until in the early autumn Mr. Hoyt went into his cellar to see how much more coal he would have to purchase for the winter. Of sev- eral tons on hand in the spring only two or three scuttlefuls remained. The theft was speedily traced to the engl- neer.TSuturday Evening Post. The Sun and the Telescope. The popular notion is that the as- tronomer points his telescope dlrectly at the sun and fires his vision point blank across the chasm of millions of miles. Instead, says a writer in the Ohio Magazine, the errant sun rays are lassoed by a coelestate—a great circular mirror driven by clockwork in such & manner that it throws its light into another mirror above, and this in turn sends the long, concen- trated beam far Into the interior of the telescope house. The two mir- rors move in automatic adjustment to each other, so that the solar beams|] may be shot Into the building, no mat- ter in what portion of the sky the sun may be situated. At the farther end of the building the reflected sunbeam strikes a concave mirror which catch- es the light and, flashing it back- to- ward the opening whence it first en- thio form Jeohol ince May, 1908, Ayer’s Sarsaparilia bas been ’ entirely free from alcohol. If you are in poor| r ee r Om health, weak, pale, nervous, ask your doctor, about taking this non-alcoholic tonic and altera- “tive. It he has a better ‘medicine, take his. Get the best, always. Thi Yo have no secets! We % of all our preparations. tered, tocuses. it into a perfect image of the sun. Female Diamonds, The jeweler held a magnifying glass to a superb white diamond. “Do you see those little diamonds on the farther edge?” he sald. “They are Invisible to the naked eye, but the glass shows . them quite plalnly, doesn’t 1t? Well, they are the proof that this diamond 18 a female;-hence we say that there are male and fe- male diamonds, the males, of course, being those that don’t produce these growths. “Female dlamonds are always the finest. . In fact; néarly ‘all the dia- monds of wide world fame are fe- males.”—New York Press. Soclety of the Cincinnati. The Soclety of the Cincinnati-was an order established by the officers of the Revolutionary army in 1788 to perpetuate their friendship and to raise funds for the relief of the wid- ows and orphans of those who had fallen during the war. It was 80 named because it Included - patriots headed by Washington, between whom and the old Roman farmer- general, Cinclnnatus, there were sup- posed to be many resemblances. “The reason you don't sympathize with me 1s that you have never been disappointed In love yourself.” “I haven’t, eh? That's all you know. ‘Why, I once advertised for a wife with a million dollars, and I never got a sin- gle reply,”~Philadelphia Press. ‘The-Nature of the Creature. “Your cook”— “Oh, she i3 so careless that I don’t believe she could drop a remark with- out breaking her word.”—Smart Set. Those who are rash and precipitate seldom enjoy the favor of the gods.— Herodotus. Bemidji. choice building Now Is The Time To purchase a building site in We have a number of o lots which may be purchased on reasanable terms { For further particulars write or call Bemidji Townsite and Im- provement Company. H. A. SIMONS, Agent. Swedback Block, Bemid}i. solon established a census for the pur- |l _to_the same extent inured agalnst the 88 of the proceedings as were o to_paes)|- Daily Pioneer For News That the Pioneer Gets and Prints the News Is Appre- reciated Outside of Bemidji. Tribune, published at Akeley, says: The Bemidji ' Daily Pioneer Started the week in a brand new dress of type. The:Pioneer is giving excellent news services. The increased advertising pat= ronage and - circulation is: evi- dence that the paper is appre- ciated by the public. / . Pays for the Daily Read what the Akeley [4 5