The Washington Bee Newspaper, September 28, 1895, Page 7

A Wey. A Se \ . THE WASH man or woman who depends on semeuts and entertainments for the nate being and a slave tothe accidents and incidents of life. Personal happiness that is worth hav- ing must be based on right feeling, right doing and generous impulses, thoughtfulness of others and forgetful- ness of one’s self. A work in the line that one enjoys is like rowing with the the tide or sowing with the grain. Talk can be made to order as fast as the tongue can run, hence girls should not believe all that a man says and think him too interesting to live with- out. Girls are too quick to accept of a man’s attention because of his position or looks. They should first find out whether or not he is married, his char- acter and disposition. A married man posing as single deserves more abuses than he gets; but girls should look at the matter seriously before accepting his company, so as to avoid trouble. I do not approve of love at first sight ; a girl should first play a man to find out whether he amounts to any- thing, and if he becomes impatient and goes away you may feel thankful that you are rid of a knave. A person that dreads to be corrected or criticized never has a manner of ele- gance or an expression of charm. Great men nor women are not those who despise the days of small doings, but those who improve them the most carefully. Ella.—Loud perfumes are vulgar, but delicate choice ones denote refinement. When care and conscience, adapti- bility, and an amiable temper are shown in a woman, she is very apt to make a gentle, faithful wife for a kind and protecting husband. A girl who is refined in taste and quick in perception, demands her rights and sees that she gets them, would make a considerate wife fora kind husband. Don’t be guilty of making a special effort after effect, but be ambitious, hopeful and merry in all your methods and thereby be a pleasing study. An impetuous or impulsive person is very apt to look too far ahead of him- self, and by so doing pass by nearer objects which would be of great serv- ice to him. A well-bred man raises his hat toa woman though he may have never seen her hefore, if he meets her in any place or manner or circumstances where they cannot help seeing each other; for in- stance, in a country foot-path so nar- tow that one has to make way for the Other, or on a flight of stairs. A bright home makes a merry heart and a quarrelsome woman make an un- happy home. Persons desizous to be thought ladies should not converse screamingly, ap- parently for the purpose of attracting attention. Some women succeed in drawing at- tention by being loud and uncouth, but the attention they elicit is not of a com- plimentary nature. There is magnetism in a kind, loving woman whose voice is usually of a m lodious sound, which is almost irresis ible and is apt to catch the most stern- est heart. A sad spectacle is a home in which the mother is a drudge, while the daughters recline at their ease, never dreaming of their responsibitities. B. C.—As you are very stout, have all your waists made the half fitting or three-quarter length coat, since it con- ceals rather than reveals your too prominent outlines. One of the com- monest mistakes of the fat woman is to suppose that the short, perky basque is her only choice. It is good for a woman to dress well, as she is then able to devote her mind to other things without hindrance, as it is the shabby woman who cannot for a moment forget what she has on. A good husband keeps his wife in the wholesome ignorance of unneces- Sary secrets. A FREE TRIP TO ATLANTA EX- POSITION And return (from the home of the send- €r), is offered by the publishers of the Ladies’ Every Saturday, of 36 South Seventh Street, Philadelphia, to the first person able to make seventy small English words by using the letters con- tained in E-V-E-R-Y S-A-T-U-R- D-A-Y, and no letter to occur more times in any one word than it is con- tained in “‘ Every Saturday.” : st-Class Pneumatic Tire Bicycle (for either boy or girl) is offered to the first person sending list of sixty words as above. A Lady’s Elegant Gold Watch to first person sending list of fifty words as above, and one hundred other arti- cles of value for first lists in order of merit as received. Twelve two-cent stamps must be sent for trial subscription (four numbers of that beautiful thirty-two page illustra trated Newspaper for Women), con- taining full partéculars and rules of the Leisure Hour Circle Word Building Exercises for bright people; also s and address of the 103 success- (“ins in last Educational Contest, , _ UNO«\aat publication. If interest- ‘¥ -._¢. promptly, and address La- Saturday, Department -, * THE EIGHT-PAGE BEE. PUBLISHED. newsiest and best journal published by an Afro-American in this country. The BEE contains more news than any two weeklies published anywhere in the United States. Here is what our exchanges say: ““BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.” [From the Texas Freeman.] We are just a trifle late in saying so, but the Washington Bee has made me- chanical changes that improve its ap- pearance and reflect credit on the man- agement. [From the Appeal.] The Washington Bee recently made considerable improvement in its ap- pearance and enlarged its size to a quarto. Since his late little unpleas- antness Chase seems to be ‘stronger than ever.” [From Newspaperdom.] The Washington (D. C.) BEE has been enlarged and substantially im- proved. The general tone and char- acter of the Bee sustain the place and name it has made for itself under the editorial management of William Cal- vin Chase. [From the Fourth Estate.] THE BEE BustER THAN EVER. The Washington (D. C.) BEE has been enlarged and substantially im- proved. It is now an eight-page pa- per. The general tone and character of the Bee sustain the place and name it has made for itself under the edito- tial management of William Calvin Chase. [From the Southern Forge.] The Washington BEE comes to us this week in great shape. It hasanew head and twice the size. Brother Chase is going ahead. And if you bother the Bee you’ll get ‘‘stinged.”” {From the Alexandria Leader.] The Washington BEE has purchased an entire new outfit. The Bee will be issued as eight-page paper. May suc- cess attend the Bee. [From the Evening Star.] ENLARGED TO EIGHT PaGEs. The Washington BEE appeared Sat- urday, enlarged and substantially im- proved, as an eight-page paper. also presented many illustrated fea- tures, including portraits of Major Moore, Commissioner Ross and other Districtofficials and prominent citizens. The general tone and character of the Bee sustain the place and name it has made for itself under the editorial management of William Calvin Chase. The leading editorial Saturday pledges support to Gov. McKinley’s candidacy for President. [From the Western Optic.] The Washington, D. C., BEE is out in a new dress of type, and with its improved make-up now ranks with the foremost Negro newspapers in Amer- ica. May the Bee improve each shin- ing hour. [From the Athens Clipper.] The last issue of the Washington BEE presents a very pleasant appear- ance to the public. It has eight pages itor Chase has lost nong/of his old time vigor in wielding the pen. The Clipper congratulates the Bee and hopes it and its editor may live many years to sting the enemies of the race. {From the Baltimore Standard.] The Washington BEE comes to us this week in an eight-page form, and much improved every way. Editor Chase is to be Eonprataisieds [From the Chicago A. M. E. Record.] The Washington BEE came out last week, considerably improved. It is now a six-column quarto, and has the appearance of property stamped upon all of its departments. STATE oF Onto, City oF ToLEDo, Lucas County. Frank J. CHENEY makes oath that he is the senior partner of the firm of F.J. CHENEY & Go., doing business in the city of Toledo, County and State aforesaid, and that said firm ‘will pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by the use of HALL’s CaTARRH CURE. FRANK J. CHENEY. Sworn to before me and subscribed in my pres- his 6th day of December, A. D. 1886. {[sEAL.] A. W. GLEASON, Notary Public. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally and acts THE NEWSIEST AND BEST JOURNAL The Washington Bex is no doubt the It} abounding in rich reading matter. Ed-| LINCOLW’S HAND. An Embarrassing and Painful Inci?--+ That Refell Edwin Booth. Gia ‘With the winter Bayard Taylor ca.uc on from his home in Kennett and took an apartment in East Twelfth street, and once a week Mrs. Taylor and he receiv- ed all their friends there, with a simple and charming hospitality. There was another house which was much resorted to—the house of James Lorrimer Gra- ham, afterward Consul-General at Flor- ence, where he died. I had made his ac- quaintance at Venice three years before, and I came in for my share of that love for literary men which all their perversi- ties could not extinguish in him. It was a veritable passion, which I used to think he could not have felt if he had been a literary man himself. There were delightful dinners at his house, where the wit of the Stoddards shone, and Taylor beamed with good-fellowship and over- flowed with invention; and Huntington, long Paris correspondent of the Tribune, humorously tried to talk himself into the resolution of spending the rest of his life in his own country. There was one even- ing when C. P. Cranch, always of a most pensive presence and aspect, sang the most killingly comic songs; and there was another evening when, after we all went into the Hbrary, something tragical happened. Edwin Booth was one of our number, a gentle, rather silent person in company, or with at least little social initiative, who, as his fate would, went up to the cast of a huge hand that lay upon one f the shelves. ‘Whose hand is this, Lor:?" he asked our host, as he took it up and turned it over in both of his hands Graham feigned not to hear, and Booth asked again, ‘Whose hand is this?” ‘nen there was nothing for Gra- ham but to say, “It’s Lincoln’s hand,” and the man for whom it meant such un- speakable things put it softly down with- out a word.—W. D. Howells, in Har- per’s. Anecdotes of Napoleon. “There is one unpleasant feature about dying,” said Talleyrand; ‘‘one cannot read one’s obituaries. I uld like very much to read my obitua: “So should I,” returned Bonaparte, dryly; “hurry up and die, will you?” “I think I shall wrlte my autobiogra- phy,” said Fouche one morning to the Emperor. “T wouldn't if I were you,” said Napo- leon; “you know yourself too well, and if you told the truth it would ruin your reputation.” Napoleon was superstitious, and used to enjoy telling his fortune with the cards. At one time he drew three cards from the pack; two of them were two- spots and one of them was a king. “Humph!” he said. ‘‘I seem to be rais- ing the deuce, rather than a dynasty, by two to one.” | At St. Helena Napoleon was asked what he would have done had he defeated Wellington at Waterloo. “I should have smuied,” fallen Emperor. A stout little boy having been present- ed to the Emperor, Napoleon took him on his knee. “Well, children,” said he, “what are your names?” Paul,” said the boy. “And the other?” “I have no other,” said the boy. “What? Only one name for both of you?” asked Napoleon. “I'm only one boy,” returned the lad. : “Why, you surprise me,” said the Em- peror, with a laugh. ‘You are so heavy I thought you were twins.” “IT really never loved but one woman,” said Bonaparte. “What?” sald Bourrienne, doubtful smile. “At one time,” replied the Emperor, “Prussia shall never wear your collar,” cried the Prussian King. “It will feel my cuffs, however,” retort- ed Bonaparte, “and, what will be more ridiculous, it will get them in the neck.” “What is the matter, Bourrienne?” asked Napoleon of his secretary one morning; ‘you look blue.” “TI am blue, sire,” return. sourrienne; “I've written you ts, and, as far as you've gone, you wont make more than one volume. The public likes its biogra- phies in two volumes.” “We'll fix that,” said the Emperor, quickly; “I'll invade Russia. That will provide you with two more chszpters, anyhow.” And he did. replied the with a A Highwayman’s Tracks. “Big Foot Andrews was the hardest man I ever saw to track,” said an up- country sheriff recently. ‘He left tracks enough, for he had a foot 14 inches long, but he had a way of mixing up his tracks so that we never could tell which way he was going. “Nobody but the stage drivers and passengers on the coaches ever saw Big INGTON BEE. DR. PARKHURST’S EARLY TRAINING. The Home He Chastised In. If I speak confidently and feeling; upon this point it is because I know k much I owe personally to the fact of be- ing brought up in a home where I was taught to appreciate the greatness 0° righteous authority, the vastness of its meaning, the advantage of submittin. to it, and the serious risk of resisting writes the Rev. Charles H. Parkhurst, D. D., in the September Ladies’ Home Journal. No anarchist could ever ha ve graduated from the home I was born loved and chastised in. Such experi- ence makes me pity the children who know no discipline but that of caresses and sweetmeats, and makes me mcre than pity the parents who have neither the discernment in their mental consti- tution nor the iron in their moral con- stitution to perceive that nothing wh a child can know or can win can begin to take the place of sense of superior authority, and of the holy right of that authority to be respected, revered and obeyed. The moral strength of a man is measured pretty accurately by cordial reverence with which he regards whatsoever has the right to call its his master. Estimated by this criter. jon the average American boy is a dis- couraging type of humanity, and is a severe reflection upon the crude at- tempts at manhood manufacture evin- ced by the typical American home. [7 our homes cannot turn out children that will respect authority, there will be no authority in a great while either at home, in the State or anywhere else, that will be worth their respecting. The Childrea’s Re pabl'c. While the grown folks are talking 0” the tariff and free silver and all of the many things that go to make a govern- ment, our young readers will be interest- ed in hearing about a republic where boys and girls make their own laws and have their own officers to see that they are obeyed. About five years ago a number of good men and women in New York city thought of a plan by which they might give the poor boys and girls who roam the streets of that city a pleasant summer outing, and that, at the same time, would help to make good men and women ef these poor children. About fifty acres of land was bought near Itha- 2a and the name of Freeville was given to it. Here, each summer, are sent the boys and girls of the streets. This sum- mer the plan of forming a republic, and letting the children govern themselves, was tried. The name of the Young America Republic was given to the samp. All the departments of a regular | sovernment were formed on a small scale. There was a Congress, with its Senate and House of Representatives. Policemen were appointed and courts were formed and judges elected. An army was formed, with real guns, drums anda flag. Money was issued in red, yel- low, and blue paper—of six denomina- tions, 1, 5, 10, 25 and 50 cents and one dol- lar. At the close of the season, all moneys Were redeemed with fruits, vegetables and clothing. Some of the more thrifty boys had three barrels of potatoes to take home. Taxes were levied and there was a oank, a post office and a hotel. Everything was on a paying basis. ach boy and girl spent the morning of cach day at work, the boys in carpentry and farming, and the girls in cooking, ! sewing and millinery work, for whi_h they were paid regular wages. Public officers received good salaries. The price of unskilled labor was fifty ents a day, and the highest pay ninety ents. With this money they paid for their ooard and lodging and other expenses. Sach meal cost ten cents, and lodging vas also ten cents. Representatives were elected every | week in the republic, and Senators every :wo weeks. There was woman suffrage, too, the sirls voting as well as the boys. There vas a girl Senator and two of the judges | were girls. Of course, at first every boy wanted to »@ a policeman, so a law was passed re- | suiring every candidate to pas a civil service examination. Another difficuliy came when a bright sut smallsized ‘cop’? was obliged to ar- ‘est two offenders, older and larger. He vas greatly afraid of being “punched,” out when he found he would be fined ind lose his office if he didn’t do his duty, Foot, and then he was always behind a Winchester. As soon as we would receive word that a stage had been held up we would strike out for the scene of the rob- bery, and there we would find the big tracks that told us who the perpetrator was, but the tracks would not indicate the direction he took. We always found his trails accurately retraced step by step, and by the time we would get directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. Send for testimonials, free. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, 0. SF Sold by Druggists, 75c. H. J. EUROPE, REAL ESTATE AGENT, 426 Fifth Street N.W. Room 5—Up Stairs. WASHINGTON, D. C. Realestate pie sold or exchanged. Houses rented, rents collected, insurance placed, loans negotiated. LIME. SODA. IRON. The troly wonderra effect produced dy Dr. Ale. jer B, Wilbor 8 Compound of Pure Cod-Liver 0: J’ Phosphates renders it beyond doudt the mos' fect p-eparation of itskind known to day. consumption, conghs, colds, asthma, debility.wast : diseases and all scrcfulous humcrs disappe: ?its influence. It isalmostas palatab:cascren’ nan be taken with pleasure by deticate persons a ldren, who, after using it, become very foud of i th the food, increases the tlesh any 4. = mendations. | Re sure. as you 4 get the genuine. Manniac Wib0n, Chemist BS Seventh Street, Phila- by Da ALexanpge B, a _ © at this office. fae Advertise in the BEE. things straightene’ cut he would be out of the country. “Every officer in the northern part of the State was on the lookout for the rob- ber, and every man with big feet was under suspicion, but no one could get so much as a glimpse of him. Finally I hired two Wylackie Indian trailers, who zould follow a cat track over the wildest country, but they could make nothing of Big Foot’s trail. They would run awhile in one direction, then try the track the other way awhile, and finally gave it up in disgust. “Like all criminals, however, he came to grief. Notwithstanding all of his cun- ning, he was finally captured. One day 1 saw a natty little stranger of effemi- nate manners and appearance drop the wrapper from a roll of silver. I mechan- ically picked it up, and immediately iden- tified it as having been on the coin taken from the express bo~ at the last robbery. I immediately sized up the stranger’s feet, but he wore a No. 5 lady’s button shoe. 1 asked him where he got the sil- ver, and he became so confused that I took him in custody. When I searched his trunk at the hotel I found a Win- chester rifle, mask, slouch hat, and a pair of No. 12 boots with heels on each end. The mystery of Big Foot’s tracks was cleared up then.”—San Francisco Post. Se eee A Man of His Word. Long Lane (recklessly)—Let’s go in bathin’. Dry Wedder—No. W’en I wuza little kid I promised me dyin’ mudder never ter go tear de water. Dat promise is sacred ter me am’ I allers has an’ J al- lers will keep it —Harlc-n Life. ie did it. Two policemen were at one ind lose his office if he didn’t do his duty, ind the other for receiving bribes. There was no resistance offered, for shat meant a heavy fine. The wealthy men could enjoy @ great nany luxuries. One of these was life at he “Hotel Waldorf’’—the loft of a barn. All the “hotels here the boys slept were at first in possession of the govern- Was Born, Loved and : HUMAN NATURE. Sardou, the great French playwright, writes a hand so fine that one almost re- quires a magnifying glass to read it. Abram S. Hewitt, the well-known New York reformer, was professor of mathe- matics at Columbia College 50 years ago: William Earl Cooke, of Portsmouth, R. I., who is 96 years of age, has been a Mason for 76 years, and is still im good standing. Arthur Nikish, formerly of Boston, who is to be the new director of the fa- mous Gewanghaus concerts in Leipsic, will receive a salary of 20,000 marks, about $5,000 a year. Senator Nelson, of Minnesota, has a fine farm of nearly 400 acres, under ‘the best system of cultivation. He has lived on it since 1871. This year he has large crops for sale. Gen. Nelson A. Miles, the possible suc- cessor of Gen. Schofield as commander- in-chief of the army, was once a clerk in @ crockery store in Boston. He had his first military instruction from a French- man, , When the Princess of Wales was mar- ried the King of the Belgians gave her lace of the value of $50,000. From that time the Princess has gone on collecting, | collection is worth some- ‘ and now he: thing like $250,000. Ambassador Bayard’s family have been holding office continually under the United States Government for 100 years. James Bayard, the Ambassador’s grand- father, having been elected a delegate to the Federal Congress in 1796. George Brown, colored, a native of Vir- ginia, has a certificate from his former master setting forth that he was born in 1764. Brown lives in New Orleans. | He says that he blacked George Wash- ington’s boots and lighted his cigars. Speaker Gully, of the English House of Commons, has a pet bulldog by which he lays great store. The dog has had several misadventures in London streets and badly frightened nervous people— but the Speaker declines to give him up. Frederick Howard Hovey, the new ten- nis champion of America, is a graduate of Brown University in the class of 1890. He lives at Newton Centre, Mass., where his father, the Rev. Dr. Alvan Hovey, is president of the Newton Theological In- stitution. Verdi's first composition obtained for him a thrashing. He struck a chord. It Pleased him. He attempted to strike it again and failed. Thereupon he lost his temper and began thumping upon the Piano. Verdi’s father promptly punish- ed him with a whipping. ! James Payn and Andrew Lang have both taken to giving lists of books they have “stuck in” and couldn’t get through without an effort. Among them are “Gil Blas,” “Don Quixote,” “Marcella,” ‘““Rob- ert Elsmere,” “Dombey and Son” and “The Light That Failed.” t The Rev. C. F. Gates, of Chicago, who has been elected president of the Eu- phrates College, at Harpoot, in Turkey, is about 45 years of age. He Is a fine- looking man, with regular features and wearing a mustache. He hag been a missionary for 15 years. Mrs, William K. Vanderbilt has the reputation of being one of the most ex- travagamt women New York has ever known. As an instance of this, it is said that she had an entire floor of a well- known hotel in Paris refurnished gor- geously at her expense for a stay of six weeks. . As the Colonel of the Royal Horse Guards Lord Wolseley enjoys the title of “gold stick in waiting.” This title was’ first conferred by Charles II., and means that his Lordship must on state occasions carry a gold-headed ebony staff and be especially responsible for the personal safety of his sovereign. David Christie Murray predicts that Rudyard Kipling will write the Ameri- can homogeneous novel, by which he means a book embracing all sections, classes and conditions, considering them socially, morally, politically, religiously, showing their inter-relations; @ novel, not of any particular locality, but of all America. The proprietor of the Hamden Junc- tion (O.) American is the owner of the only livery stable in the town. He is also a regular practicing physician. In his | Spare time he does fine needle work and outline embroidery. He leads the choir | at the Methodist church, and is the town ; treasurer and president of the Board of Education, The summer home of Prof. Bell, the telephone inventor and millionaire, is on an estate of 15,000 acres in Cape Breton, on the Bras D’Or. The professor seems to have all the instincts of the true fisher- man. On one of the neighboring lakes he has a houseboat propelled by a steam launch, with a trap door cut in the floor of his dining room, so that he can fish, if the fancy strikes, while at table. | MANNERS OF GREAT MEN. Count de Lesseps was the type of the French gentleman. Monroe was, even in his own time, called “‘a gentleman of the old school.” nent, but this one building was leased o the highest bidder. It was estimated hatitcost$4adaytorun it, and one pro- vrietor, who leased it at $5.50, could not aeet his Nabilities and failed. A later oroprietor paid $9.50 a day and made noney. By that time the “hotel” had veen partitioned off into private and ex- vensive apartments, costing from fifty to seventy-five cents a day. The most elab- erate of these had beautiful chromos up- n their white muslin partitions. This sroprietor increased the number of his «partments, and charged his patrons five ‘ents each time they used a writing ta- sle he provided, and ten cents for lying n bed in the day time. Mr. William R. George is the origina- or and chief mover in this work among he poorest children of New York. He iad twenty unpaid assistants this sum- ner, and support was given by different stant religious bodies of Central New York. A regular organization for -he Young America Republic is to be formed immediately with many philan- shropic men as officers. A Dance A!phabet. A dance alphabet hag recently been in- vented by a Russian professor, who has devoted 52 years of his life in teaching iancing in the Russian Imperiul College. iis Invention consists of minute figures which represent every conceivable posl- tion the human legs can assume. pleased. He was always courteous ladies. - Garrick was generallv so quiet that he often created the impression of diffidence. Bancroft was rather reserved than otherwise with most persons whom he met. Henry Clay was said to make the most engaging bow of any gentleman of his time. Mitton was quiet and reserved in con- versation, but thoroughly refined and well-bred. Dante was solitary in his hebtts and by his austerity chilled most of those whom he met. Mahommed inculcated politeness in the Koran. He himself was one of the most courteous of men. Pius IX., both before and after his ele- vation to the pontifical chalr, Was a model of studied politeness. Beethoven was rude and gruff, and seemed to be in @ perpetual bad humor with himself and every one else. Robesplerre was urbane in manner and courteous, though brief, to those who epproached him on business. Talleyrand owed his success in life to no small extent to the uniform courtesy with which he treated every one. Byron was affable to his equals and to those whom he wished to please, but haughty and distant to most others. The Duke of Marlborough sald that he owed his success as much to his elegant deportment as to his talents, Andrew Jackson was reugh in Ais manners, bat coals Se ene - FOR DLB MOMENTS. “Why don't you marry that girl? She is a real pearl.” “Ah, yes, but I don’t like the mother of pearl.”—Fliegende Blatter. Mollis—Do you like trolley parties? Dollie—I just love ’em. You know I’n engaged to one; he’s a motorman.—Yom kers Statesman. “Couldn’t your husband be induced ty try the faith cure?” “I think he coulé He’s tried dozens of things he didn’t be lieve in.”—Vogue. Dora—Mr._Spooner says he always feels lke a fish out of water when he y with me. Cora—Then you've hooked him, have you?—Harper’s Bazar. ‘Van Jay—Miss Meeks called me a fool Do I bok like a fool? Millicent—No, you do not. I don’t think she judged you by your looks.—Brooklyn Eagie. Jack Potts—Making love is a good deal like playing cards. Miss Pipkin—How s0? Jack Potts—There’s a lot in know- ing what a hand is worth.—Life. “Emma, I just saw the Hewtenant kise ing you. Don’t let me see that again.* “Certainly, mamma. We shall be mors cautious hereafter.”—Lustige Blatter. First Wisp Fiend et a Hotel—He’s s . Mean cuss; didn’t give meacent. Second Wisp Fiend—That fool I was brushin' gave me a quarter.—Boston Transcript. Bookkeeper—I see by the paper that our customer, Scudskins, is married Fashionable Tailor—Indeed! I shall be sorry to lose him.—Clothier and Furnish- er. Uncle—You only write me once every month, when you want money. Nephew (a student)—I beg your pardon, uncle; last month I had to write twice.—Lustige Blatter. “You say he is a promoter? What is his line, do you know?” “I coulfin’t say Positively, but I have a suspicion that he deals mostly in filling pneumatic tires.”— Indianapolis Journal. Cholly—Thought you were going te marry Miss Kostique? Gussie—Going to awsk her to-night. My chawnces are about even. “How so, deah boy?” “She must say either ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ *—Philadel- phia Record. “Jack writes that the steamers were so crowded that some of New York’s swell set had to come over just as their grand- fathers did." “How does he mean—ip sailing vessels?” “No; in the steerage.” —Brooklyn Life. Miss Innersent—You say you object te Charles because he is too much in the swim? Her Father—Most decidedly. Miss Innersent—But, papa, I am sure he would give up bathing altogether if he knew.—Boston Courier. Dozber—Do you think that constantly wearing a hat has a tendency to make a man bald? Janlin—No; but when a man is bald I’ve noticed that # has @ ten- dency to make him constantly wear a hat.—Roxbury Gazette. “I don’t see any use in getting blue over it, old man. She isn’t the only girl in the world.” “That’s just what I'm blue about. Think of the chances I have of making the same kind of a fool of my- self again.”—Brooklyn Life. Grocer (to new boy)—See, now, if you can Mft this 60-pound bag of flour. New Boy—No, sir, I can’t. Grocer—Thought you sald you could carry 60 pounds? New Boy—But this wasn’t weighed on your scales!—Chicago Record. Mrs. Zabbe—I met with one of the strangest experiences of my life to-day. Mr. Zabbs—¥ou did! What was it? Mrs. Zabbs—Just this: I was getting on an open oar and the man on the end seat moved tn and let me have it.—Roxbury Gazette. The grammar dlass was on the floor. “In the sentence ‘I love you,’ what is the mood of the verb?” asked the teacher. “Sentimental mood,” replied one of the larger girls, who had spent most of the summer at the sea shore. — Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. “For the life of me I cannot see why people think it so comical a thing for a man to get married,” complained the young man who was on his bridal tour. “Nor me, neither,” remarked the passen- ger with the white whiskers. “An’ I may state furder that I been marrit 12 years.”—Cincinnati Enquirer. Doctor—I would advise you, dear mad- am, to take frequent baths, plenty of fresh air, and dress in cool gowns. Hus- band (an hour later)—What did the doo- tor say? Wife—He said I ought to go to @ watering place, and afterwards to the mountains, and to get some new light gowns at once.—Fliegende Blatter. AROUND THE WORLD, It fs said that bicycles have seriously injured the sale of planos in England. It is said that a church in Topeka has employed a woman whistler to whistle sacred music every Sunday. A French journal thus itemizes the in- gredients of French coffee: “Roasted horse liver, roasted black walnut saw- dust, and caramel, or burned sugar.” A small electric lamp is being used in- stead of a bell in some telephone ex- changes in England. The call for con- nection lights the lamp. Richard and John McGriff, twins, of Geneva, Ind., are said to be the oldest twins in the world. They recently cele- brated their ninety-first birthday. The Egyptians believed that the soul lived only as long as the body endured, hence their reason for embalming the body to make it last as long as possible. It is estimated that altogether there are 400,000,000 mummies in Egypt. In European countries, under the old systems of government, rowdies and toughs are not half so much in evidence as they are under our tvo lenient popular rule. Even in the-French republic the authorities cannot be trifled with by row- dies. Canada hes « forest in the Hudson Bay and Labrador region 1,000 by 1,700 miles in extent, while that of the Amazon basin is calculated to be about 2,100 by 1,300 miles. Central Africa has @ fores: region of 3,000 miles from north to south, of an unknown depth; and the vaat pine, larch and cedar forests of Siberia are 3,000 miles from east to west, and 1,000 miles from north to sovth. The natives: call them “places whe. :he wind is lost.” Holland disfranch: the proper authority continue to be regs. 1 as @ oftizen. Great Britain does nc: so easily give up her claim to the loyalcy of her subjects. A Man may count upon her protection on the ground that his grandfather was by Birth and allegiance an Englishman, even though he and his father were both born and have alwa- on foreign soil, but without b-:. 72d.