The Washington Bee Newspaper, May 26, 1894, Page 4

TIME TO GO AHEAD. CRANKY GUESTS, Experience of Hotel Clerks in Deaiing With Some vf Them, “T cannot sleep ia that room,” said a guest at the Hotel Denechaud last evening as he walked to the desk ia the office and threw the key upon it. Signs That Told an Observant Girl That She Was Betrothed. They happened to meet in a State street stu.e the other day and they had a conversation which sent one of with fioods of light illu- them away : key ups minating her soul. She was one of “What is the matter with i asked ‘those girls who are adored by old | Mr. Justin Denechaud, who was be- ladies, and constantly invited to tea | hind the desk at the time. “There is nothing the matter with it except that the bed is in the wrong place,” the guest replied. “For more than twenty years I have slept in a bed with the head towards the north, and it has become such a habit with me that it would be actually impossi- ble for me to sleep in a bed with the head in any other direction.” “It will be impossible for me to give and ever by them to meet bachelor sons, who can count all the beaux they had on the fingers of one hand. The other—well, differen’ she was one of tho: i tures who are always mysteriously sup- plied with roses and bonbons and es corted to the theatre on first night in spite of the fact peas 1 the “the girls sre agreed that ssil i lutely nothing in her.” latter | you a room containing a bed in that young woman was meditating over | position,” said the clerk, as he ran his silks when the other greeted her. | eye over the list of rooms. ‘The hotel some “I suppose you are trying to decide [is well filled to-night, and I have only between the old rose and the pale |two vacant rooms, but I will have the bed turned for you,” and calling the replied the other girl | porter Mr. Denechaud instructed him e, I am getting iny |to turn the bed in the gentleman's room so that the head would be to the st followed the porter upstai nothing further was heard of him it is presumed that he retired and slept the sleep of the blessed. “There is no accounting for tastes,” said Mr. Denechaud, turning to the re- porter, “and the funny experiences we have in the hotel business would fill a volume. You noticed that gentleman just now wko demanded that his bed be the head towards the , and I think I'll have both.” Then she looked down to blush and bora up to see the effect of her woi Ys. it possible? I’—— es, dear, and you can’t imagine how nervous I am only hope you”— “Will be happy? Of course I shall; why, I can always make him do just what I choose The other girl pursed up her lips and looked virtuous. “Oh, I shouldn't like | changed with 0 that at all. The man I marry must {north. Before the night is over we be one that I can obec may have calls for beds with their point of the are obliged I remem- ance like this several years slightly under the heads turned to every “Not at all, my dear. It is all very nice to talk that way to the men—they like it and it sounds pretty, b doing no harm until you arc ing to marry one of them, wh 3 want your own wW: just like any otber sensible woman. “Well, do tell me how he”’—— began the other girl dreamily. “Proposed? Oh, but he hasn't done it yet.” “But I thought that you”— ber an ins ago. A gentleman, influence of liquor, came into the hotel one night and, producing a pocket compass, said that he wished a room where the head of the bed should be placed to the northeast. We sent two boys with the man and they placed the bed as requested. The joke about it “Were selecting a trou So I} was that the compass was furnished am, goosie. You see it is just this way: | with a little stop, which held the indt He will call at § this evening, and by | cator in a certain position, and it so at latest we will be formally en- | happened that the gentleman’s bed, gaged.” which had been fully placed di- “But how do you know?” helplessly | rectly northeast, according to the com- pass, was in-reality so placed that the asked the other girl. ‘Simply by precedent. When a man | head was directly to the south. The you in an anxious tone if you : gentleman discovered his mistake the ght to give up | uext morning, and I presume was think a married man ous know that his in- nd when he fol- s later by asking his dub you m cured of the fad.”—New Orleans Times. tentions are serious lows it up a few d: you if you don’t think man has a right to smoke all over his own house it is high time to decide whether the wedding shall be at home or in church.” goodness! ‘S, Dut that wa _The Best He Could Do, The seedy individual, blear-eyed and unkempt, slipped into a cheap restau- rant near the Michigan Central Depot the other morning and sat down at a table in the corner, where the waiter discovered him. “How much is a cup of coffee?” he sked. sn’t what convinced “Oh, do tell me about it. “No, it w I met him on the street , and he was reading a paper so intently that he didn’t even see me until I spoke. Then he. blushed violently and in gr con- fusion thrust his paper into his over- coat pocket. Well, he went home with mie and—now you must never tell this “Potatoes?” ‘ive cents.” ‘Bread and butter?” ive cents.” Do you charge anything extra for knife and fork and plate?’ “Oh, no.” Then he ran his hand down into his pocket. “Well, bring me them,” he said, shak- T, neve , Low curious to see what he. had been reading that confused him eo, that T made an excuse to slip out lato the hall where his coat was hang- lug and e the paper out of his pock- | ing his d. “I guess I can’t do any et, and what do you think it was?” better this morning than go through ‘Detroit Free Pri n't imagine.” the motions.” was a household paper, = cle that he had been r F4 conclusively one, which proved that | “John.” s ee two people could live a great “al What my dear more cheaply than one. Now. do 4 that ,women talk a great see why I am commencing to select they my trousseau?’ she asked trium- “I betieve they do.” iy “And they also think it proper to I do,” meekly replied the other make jokes about her alleged difficulty ing up her mind.” Chicago Daily Tribune. “Yes. “John?” “Well, dear?” “Are there any women in Congress?” Dr. Hale on the Crash of 1893. In 1884 Dr. rd Everett Hale's Mere] of “The § etnies of Rachel” was ast published. The novel runs to the “And yet, just look at it.” end of the century, and, in the ir 1900, Tom Poore, at Washington, re- = views the last twenty y of the She Tried to Help. nineteenth century. He says in this |, He (devoted but bashful) — There’s review: “The shares rose again siead- |¢e2 an awful lot in the papers lately ly for five years, when I sold agaiz tbout political combines and rings and The crash of 1893 came, and eyery- | SUCH things. sxe She (determined to help him out)— I Yes, I’ve noticed. Do women ever get mixed up with them? He—Certainly not. that? She (with a “now will you tumble?” emphasis)—Because I feel as if I would like 2 get into a ring of some kind m: : No presents.—Buffalo Courier. iSeries Why He Was Dropped. Ethel—Why didn’t Henrietta have thing to do with that noted young ter when he came? She said she body supposed manufacturing w: an end. At the lowest depression bought Stocking shares again. * * * When the company wound up two years ago (in 1898) the yielded $6,050, and here it i We reprint the passage from the novel, which is ot so well konwn as it should be, for the benefit of investors in “the crash f 1893 Boston Commonwealth. Uncle Zeb’s Suspicion, “Uncle Zeb,” said the m: “this is the third time you h Why do you ask strate, ve been | wy, art's d this month.” was going to. “Yessir.” i : pete Maude—Y but durtng their first low do you explain it? talk he said he had never met a pretty “Well, ss woman who had any brains. rietta So Hen- dropped him, considering it a insult. amiably)—Why, which does T “dunno, sah; on’y it sutny hez | she think she has, seemed ter me dat may be kinder Bs RT ESTOS EES asin’ me ter p ice on.” pod Advice. SS eee Yet He Meant Well. The young clergyman had consented ut the last moment to act as sub: ute for the venerable man who w accustomed to go to the bridewell y morning and preac carded me,” wailed the T have half a notion to young man. shoot myself.” Wi hen ou entertain such ‘an eplied the sz ing your affection.” mean over nating 2” i may be overestimating its but not its quantity. Just yeu wait a while and you will find you have Jove enough left for half a dozen anapolis Journal. idea “you are in h to the prison- the embarr * said 3 and fac he rose up assembled toughs and vy. His Principle. Brown—Is k a man of principle? Decided!y, Whenever he y whiske sends Jack 5 8 principles would t the | at allow him to be seen in a liquor | shop.—Roston Ti seript. They were the | Johnny had spok- Of Adult Size. said the little boy, ake mie a lot of bis ve us for bres time. : Tommy—Pa, why do they y that d. Are “a note matures” when it f: due. os ) Pa (worrying over his debts)—Be- a Jn my cause it’s ally so blame big, I igton Star. suppose. cord. Unselfish Love. os loved me you would mar- am_ poor. Chops for One. Johnnie (with an ax)—Papa. what is a chophow justice. _Ilove you Papa—It is a house wher they have your precious health chops. - y cooking. Wait until you Johnny (plainti Is it anything bp servants.—Life, like a wood ee am udtund to ke . = aeRO RY CS Ne EE EE TC A on HE HAD NOTHING TO SAY. Though He was Father of the Baby, He Did Not Count, The father thought he should have something to say in regard to the name the child should bear, and when his wife proposed George Augustus he ac- cepted the first part, but rejected the last—that is, tried to reject it. “Make it George William,”. he said. “William is a better name than Augus- tus, and then it will please Uncle Bill.” es, and every one will call him Bill,” she protested. “I don’t like the name. Augustus is better.”* “You won't make the change?” “T don’t see why I should.” “Very well,” he said, as he started for his hat and coat; “I’m going to the office.” The next morning, as he was putting on his coat, he asked: “How about that name?” “Why, we'll call him George Augus- tus,” she returned in surprise. +ood-day,” he said, as he went out ond mmed the door. When he came home that night he asked: “Is it still Gussie?” “Augustus,” she corrected. After supper he ‘emarked, sneer- ingly: “Gussie! Gussie! That's a nice kind of a name, isn’t it?” “Augustus is a very nice name,” she replied, calmly. Before going to church fer the bap- tism the following morning he asked, sarcasticaily: “Do you still stick to Gussie?” “George Augustus,’ she said, sweet- He shut himself in his room for a few minutes and wrote plainly on a sheet of paper, “George William.” Then he put it and a $10 Dill in an envelope and joined the baptismal party. Once at the church he slipped off to one side and handed the clergy- an envelope. ut I already have the name. Nour wife gave it to me.” tought you might make a mistake suggested the father. “Oh, no. ‘George Aug The father struggle, but he now by informing his wife's presence that the name wu us. hed and gave up the getting his revenge admiring friends in baby’s No Room to Explain, The tramp with a new gag uae ed the man with money | in his pock te “Please, Mahmeme “Ww i Ss for Man- not-afraid- -dime.” That all right, but I never heard of Mahmemosic before.” ‘The tramp assumed a look of amaze- ment. “What,” he exclaimed; of Mahmemo never did.” ‘Did you ever hear of Abraham Lin- coin?” “Lincoln? Lincoln?” queried the gen- tleman, catching a cue. “Who's he,” The tramp ignored the question. “Perhaps you’ye heard of Gen. Gran “Can't say I ever did.” “You've certainly heard of Washing- ton?” “Washington? Washington?’ and the gentleman rubbed his chin thought- fully. “Let me see; what was his first name?” “George, “No; I was he?” The tramp took a long look at his proposed benefactor. “Well.” he said, “he was a man who never done what you are doin’ now in “never heard sir—George Washington.” never heard of him. Who great shape,” and the tramp had the gentleman in a hole he couldn't get out of without paying a dime and cut- ting short further explanation.—Detroit Free Press. An Important Point. “Oh, say, Mamie,” exclaimed Maud, “you just ought to see Harry since he joined the National Guard. He looks perfectly lo “He mus turously. “I do so hope there won’t be any war!” rejoined Mamie, rap- “It would be dreadful if Harry were to get killed.” “I wasn't thinking of that. people go to war without getting killed. 3ut he'd be ju clothes.”—Washington Star. A Regular Thing. The Hostess (apologetically at lunch- eon)—This being Friday, Mr. Castle- ton, we don’t have as much as on other day Neither do I, as a rule. —Why, de you Castleton— The Hoste do so Castleton (going)—Oh, no. I'm broke.—New York Herald. Econom Wool—Hicks promis for cigars. Van Pelt—How does it work? Wool—First r: cigar.—Truth. An Egotist. Miss Gussie Rive I would ever marr man. was an evel Dudely ¢ Miss Gu hope.—Te: e. as Siftings. Accounted for at Last. First Urehin—What so long? ’em.—Chicago Tribune. A Fine Team. age? Richley—No; I do not. Penelope—Why, you make money it. What a team we'd make!—Life. A Distinction. ‘Do you enjoy going esked the youth's uncle. " that I don’t like.”—Washington Star. Jed EES a ER | blood. }and had y | tinue of servants when the party was nk you for the fee,” said the | It is written very plainly Lots of it certain to spoil bis fast on Friday because you think it right to Because od to give his wife ten cents for every ten he spent whenever we meet he buys me a drink and I buy him a ide—I don’t think ‘y a very handsome I'd be so jealous if my husband Sanesucker—Don’t “say that, You wob me of my last d’ye reckon’s the reason Bufflo Bill wears his hair Second Urchin—He wants to let them Injuns of his know he ain’t afraid of Penelope—Don’t you see the advant- ' know how to and I know how to spend to school?” “Yes, sir; I enjoy goin’ all right. It’s sittin’ still in school after I get there A HORSE IN THE WHITE HOUSE. He Eats and Sleeps Under the Roof That Shelters the President. A horse has his home in the White © Hous This is a literal fact which visitors never discover and which few Washington people know. The horse which shares the Executive Mansion with the President isn’t a thorough- | bred. He has neither pedigree nor record. He is just a plain, every-day horse, with a white star in his fore- head, a faithful companion to Edgar | R. Beckley. And who is Edgar R. Beckley? The man who, for twenty-five years, has carried to and from the White House all of the interesting and valuable mail received and sent, and who has never been found remiss in his duty, the Globe-Democrat. There are me who seem bound to become monuments of fidelity to routine trusts. Beckley is one of them. Rain or shine, in all seasons, he makes the hourly trips be- tween the White House and the city Post-Office. He is the White House mail-carrier. his home in the White House carries Beckley. The part of the mansion set apart for the borse is one corner of the con- servatory. A thin partition is all that separates the roomy stall from the or- chids. There is just room enough for the stall and a temporary supply of feed, and the horse eats and sleeps under the same roof with the President of the United States. Their Slave Was a Princess. “An African princess was owned be. fore the war by a family in Scott County, Va.” said E. L. Dement to the corridor man at the Southern. “She lived to a great age, and never lost sight of the fact that she was of royal She was the daughter of one of the most powerful kings in Africa, ndered away with a re- captured by a slave-trader, Her fine physique caused her to bring a high price, and she could only be trained to work by teaching the other slaves to | do deference to her, which they read- ly did, realizing instinctively that she was born to command. A grown wo- man when captured, she had lived with the same family for over seventy years at the time her freedom was de- clared, and she continued to reside on the plantation in a cabin set apart for her eighteen or twenty years after the war closed, making her considerably over a hundred years of age. She was Known almost throughout the State as the African princess, and in her later years she was a sort of queen over the negroes in the region where she lived, being waited on in her little cabin by a royal retinue of servants whenever she wanted them to do her bidding.” St. Louis Exchange. All He Wanted. “What do you want?’ she asked of the tramp who had made his way around to the kitchen door. ‘ “Nothin’ much, ma’am,” he replied, with a politeness that awakened her ici “Money, I suppose. We don't give tramps money.” “No'm. I don’t want no money.’ “Well, we have uo victuals, Sect for dinner, and they ain’t done yet.” “I don’t even ask for none of yer dinner, ma’am. All I want is some dry bread; jes’ dry bread.” he was touched. Poor man!” she exclaimed. “Here, au nl give you _a piece of pie, anyhow.” No'm. I druther hev the dry bread.” “Do you like it?’ { “No, but yer see me an’ the rest of the boys hez hustled aroun’ till we've got a turkey, an’ some celery, an’ some cranberry sauce an’ some plum pud- din’, an’ all we wart now is jes’ the dry bread ter make the stuffin’ of. H Quite Right. A funny incident, accompanicd by a witty retort, was enjoyed the other day as the crowd was surging out of | F one of the Indianapolis theatres. In front of a party of gentlemen was a man with his collar turned up about his ears. “Why, there is B—,’ said one of the party. “He do seem to see us; I guess I'll wake him up.” At the same time, and without stopping to think, he stepped forward and hit the bundled-up individual a terrific slap on the bac The ious gentleman the face of } a total stranger. He hesitated a mo- ment before the calm and inquiring of the man in front, and then, ping forward, said: “I beg your pardon, sir; but, to tell the truth, I took you for another man.” “IT am,” /was the quiet reply. of the hi The Impossible. The prisoner at the bar had won the favor of the Chicago Judge, and that dispenser of justice wanted to help him. “You have restored the money you stole,” he said, “and now, if I let you off, what will you do?” “T’ll lead an honest life, your Honor; indeed, I will,” pleaded the prisoner. “Where will you go?” ‘ “Tl stay right here in Chicago, your Honor, where I was born and raised.” The Judge shook his head. “I guess you'll find it easier at the workhouse,” he said, coldly. “Six months.”—Detroit Free Press. His Advantage. mates at a fashionable female college, and had often discussed the future, or matrimony, which thing, over a box of bonbons when they were supposed to be in bed. And now Valeria was about to become a wife and Gertrude had just been let into the secret. “But,” said Gertrude; with an air of | deep disappointment, “he seems to be as far as possible from your ideal.” ‘Yes, that’s just the point,” replied Valeria, speaking as one whose mind is at rest; “he won’t be constantly re- {minding me of it, don’t you see?’ A Biblical Note. St. Peter—There seems to be a strange bond of sympathy between Victor Hugo and Elijah. Gabriel-N» wonder. Both knew what it was to be translated.—Vogue. It Dies Out. Mand—Is kissing before marriage | proper? Fi Marie—It~is not so proper before marriage as after, but it is o Rood deal more frequent ~New Y~" CHEAP BEE Ph ifty Cents Per Week oy commal: And the horse that has ; At tbe “BEE” Offi 1109 L Street, auch wWiere yon cap PROGRAM CIRCULARS. BUsiNESs VISITING RECEPTION CARDS, WEDDING INVITATIONS, BILL-HEAD», LETTEEADS STAT: MENTS, CONSTITUTIONS, | Waproved airead v paid DRAFs BOOKS, CHECK BROOKS Eve. 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