The evening world. Newspaper, December 14, 1922, Page 28

INvening By Bide Dudley (New York Evening World Publishing Company Too bad Bill isn’t here to-day Oh, cruel. cruel Fate! OBSERVATIONS. is a very important member It can turn a turkey “yn” of the alphabet fato a turnkey We talked with eleven people yes terday who expressed a desire to get fate the bootlegging business. Ono of them said; “It is proteeted by the Constitution better than any other business 1 kuow of.” Pusheart men are opposing the losing of wn open air market in the Bronx. These pushers should de velowa pull The report is out that Chicago is as wide open as Paris. More work for the press agents of the steam. ship lines! A British Lord, coming to America to live, says he will be just plain —Mr.” He may not know it, but that's all he’s ever been. A Shrewd Suitor. Phere once was a fellow named Jim, Tn love with a girl very trim, Jim blew his whole ri * And he gave her some coal, Bhe turned down six rich men for him TELEPHONE LOVE. Mary Dingle, tay quits her Job as a and Kos ntral’® It was rather unusual, even in Hollywood, to two young Women perched in a tree, 60 a large crowd collected “Oh, look at the limbs!” they yelled, meaning the limbs of the Mary Dingle wished to geend, so she asked the lezger to get an and chop down the tree “Axe me nice Thus did the see de- boot axe said he bootlegger joke with our Mury. He was in a happy mod, but all bootleggers are happy these day i sweet Abba Dabba thought it Might put the crowd thoughtful frame of imnd Do not say that, Abba.” ary thus instructed her muid not to say such a thing At that point Alphonse Perel yal Fish, the Hollywood Man, arrived, Chinese gal,” said in a junk and was rouvdly @heered by the crowd. KR: soy fog his hat he said: “Friends, we are gathered here to-day to express our love for one who has passed on. I, @> au American citizen, do not want to see our country broiled in an intrigue.” Mary slid down the ¢rew ber lipstick You may all go to the devil!” em tree and she said ‘The junkman was astounded Ro knew Hollywood was a live town, but he did not reckor on thls. Where could Will Hays be? ‘The crowd burst into song, and as “Give Us a Drink, Bar tender” Qoated over the hills a squirrel looked on hungrily “IT wish T could locate thi guy Dudley,” said the squirrel } It all secsned so ab \ (To be continued.) THIS AND THAT, Phin is a story of (he big heart of Panta Claus In an apartment on Dpper Highth Avenue lived a little girl of six. Two weeks he be fame i! and bei parents called in fhe Pest doctor they could afford Be did his ut t to cure r, but Pually bad to qnore than heen centering all hopes on Parte Claus had written the aid fellow to bring ber a gle doll, ay slic could not live a week child bad her the te 16 1% Laugh & iekateeneaiccdaas | LOOKED LIKE “AFTER TAKING" | HE Mishop of a certain district | When William Shakespeare wrote Dae kee Se oe “Ah: hi pl was waiting for a train at an is plays . ; out-of-the-way station. Seeing | They didn’t make a dime ree | a stranger eyeing He saw some lean and hungry ; him curiously he| days, now to him! And passed along in time hake ffoo bad poor William had t ana blt figh de he might be As all we mortals must tales an wre Tt seems we almost hear a sigh looked acquain Come trom the Shakespeare dust me ° said the For | making others tel to the He's Broadway's greatest pel ; but To play his roles all actors itch Rie Dick URa FIN: supa! Producers squirm and fret probably," answered the | Until they stage a Shakespeare | bisnes play Kon 1 ask," inquired the stranger, The plans now call for cight using nearery “What you was cured JOHNNY'S PREFERENCE. HE Sunday School lesson dealt} “Trvith well-known Now, Johnny,” parable, said the tea would you rather be— = the | er, “whic wheat or the tares? * answered Johnny, y, ['m surprised sald the} teacher, ‘Don't you realize that the | Wheat represents the good and the} tures the bad?’’ i} “Yes, | know that,’’ was the reply, “but the wheat gets thrashed and the tares don’t.'’—Boston Transcript. UNDER ADVISEMENT. NEWLY elected squ in Wis- ‘ a Western ‘was much elated by | lawyer, his honors, but was not sure that he could carry them gracefully, 80 he haunted the Court House to gathor stray crumbs of wis- dom from higher courts which sat there. “One day he sat in judgment on his first case, and when the “come MARY MAKE j 5 No. You RE Ta a testimony was all Your. BED AND os ——--—--| WHY DIDNT You LATA ~four 2! \ Wit, Mary tn and tho argument made, he an-| |/, EAH A CEN re cae | ISAT 262 hacnuan pS ALL MADE - ( | EARN THAT nounced: A Your © eal, ¢ ) 2 2 “The Court takes this caso under ROME. pieces | HATO EARN SAV tou WANTED MY : | SO SE advisement until Wednesday morning \ a cf >> ees. NNVUM — next, when it will render a verdict in eee eer ( \ Ear MILK AA st ,— jy |tHe scone Tsnay favor of the plaintiff.” ''—Philadelphia | > J KHow WHe®e | . CieAR OUT IHL es BARTHES: Ledger | | lean cet a fe SQunTee Houle 5) MAKING BEDS Brie | Doc For dotin | ine & eae 5 DRYING Distes : A Playful Bride. is = : ERRanDs.ero LF aS A little bride t eeken. rca On hubby's head Manis FACED, Poured coal oil ax aN KICKING ON He slept in bed. Aa | cmeanas ie, Bhe lighted it NW VEINS SASSY And laughed in glec AGE WSs “1 s'poxe you think (oe SS Saree You're smart,” said he. a Ail dy LEFT-HANDED COMPLIMENT. eg / [cearuues | NCLE BEN, how do I look?" ( J aiked «prove Virgtaloa as Not Even Enough for the Waiter ! he showed his new suit of ; SSeS esses clothes to his favorite servant (6 | hs \ Y . Su “Why, yo" looks 2 (preety edad | AND ME | HAVE oNLY THREE DOLLARS | ‘Gi GGEST ANC Ya splendid, - master, Sy WHEE BUCKS | Witt. You PARUON Me, 2 IN MX POET — oe How WHAT Do YoU? | —z RESTAURANT | j splendid. Why, Oe iC, Ww MY POCKET TEDDY , WHILE. | USE. —= ™ as | yo! look as bold ay i THE PHONE ?'* | a hon!" : ent ONE 25 i “What do you = 45 so about De ) Sune You never “Why, yes, did, master; ye \; often seed a lon, often! “Where, Uncle Ben?" “Why, down on Master Johnson's plantation they've got a Hon, und yo" seed him, too; I kmow yo’ has.’ “Why, you old goose, you, that is not a lon; it 1s a juckass, and they lave called him Lion,'’ “Well, I don't care about dat luok jes’ Ike him.''—Judge. es eee NECESSARY PRELIMINARY. HE young wife had found house- keeping very simple until the cook fell i In her distress she ratefully engaged a colored girl ap- parently not far advanced in her ens. That evening a tall, lank, black inan vppeared at the door, “I come fur my vife," he replied when asked what he wanted Very positively the young wife ex- ained that ho hi mistaken the young girl was helping until the cook returned But just then Miranda came grinning ut on the back porch Missie, that's he That child us ben ma 1 hope r,"' he sald. ed a year.”* you are good tu her,"* housewife ‘she is fur ald; * loo young™o be married “Yas, Missie, I shore is good to her ain't nuvver whipped her but onct a the idea of ou are # brute oS ——————— es KATINKA Lana erie | World Comics THURSDAY, DECEMBER 14, 1922 k Reg, U. 8. Pat. Ort. A RA Arne ¥ | Now Jo& , bo “TRY To KEEP Mm (REMEMBER AIN'T TH Firs st ones HEE — if You sTurip — Ticrerore ae ove awrc: Geen aes oe as ae FINE NIGHT = CY Mapas. ‘ pay 1S JINKS - WHAT'S Yours LET Tue DON'T WANT “HEM “To “THINK. You Larraat 4 °| | Wat's Te BUTLER WERE RAISED eY A BARTENDER! (hadi tall " Au Those. FEELWIG sony 4 { FoR JOE witt FOLLOWING BE TWe FIRST OF a 5 : ALONE Y NEEDNT WORRY — tsa SEVERAL REELS : RAISE “THeu Sey eich WATCH YouR OWN STEP! is Rint HAND | TAKE. OUR HERO te vat AND His SPOUSE REEL WILL: oy To WE BE SHOWN be MANSION Of “TOMORROW | THe WEALTHY RUBBER KING O.G, SHRIVVEL WHERE THey HAVE BEEN BIDDEN To DINE! ‘ THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY ‘Trade Mark Heg, U. 8, Pat, Off YIGAY — TH 16° ' TeeS WELL “THIS 16 “S' FUNNY To. Gat aintinis co 9 cr adteD ae ONE XMAS HAT — aH wife, DIDN ‘wou DONT Go! Flam ue wits | “H' FLOOR SPACE O' EVEN PUT L* Hock = HON come! ) HH NEE - 1 TOLD ee THis ACY ee Gree guess ToLe GAL aes | \ THERED UF WE Ger ove > vee \ eee OF USELESS GAW “TY COMMON Resear she \ PRESENT THAT KNOCKS SENSE OF MY, baat dd Rad ~ ) FLAT? ARGUMENT ! case BR eee, ‘ Trade Mark Reg, U. 8, Pat, Off. SSeS She’s a “Quick Change” Artist! ia ke HANG YouR | THINGS UP For \ You, Boss’ , {{ JUST Sit Coun AW REST YOURSELF > _ Tbe GET YOUR SMOKING £ % SAckeT FoR OU! ee ean = an Dial 7a - | Oh WHERE Have 3 You BEEN , DEAR ( MIGHTY a CuristHas {OF you! r ek = HORNS 2s | } { DON'T & EXERT YOURSELF LET ME HELP you ON WITH your SUPPERS * TiMEs ARE Too BAD T've DECIDED To Noy! OUT ALL CHRISTMAS PRESENTS 2 THis vYear!! THANKS ) — your w exclaimed the horri-? 1y ; “Wel ered the man imper tturtnibly, “you see, Missle, bit’s thi Iready named A 1 the] her father if Samta could nut be in J joyfully on a tiny Christmas| earlier thi the « de-[ecpt that last Monday the ttle girs] tong his toys, long exough ty bow] ants in an uptown apartment ihn mo 4 i : 1 a by pe her dy d lo muah i: a ala H to thes decoruted with tinse Gane linht un 1 , : ly | went : ale D, Bayer 10 avn with head that a fc I building are threatening to have up and prolonged her lite, When it}home. Tearfully they decided Santa}ules, and seated at the foot of the| fighting back the t ie mother] Amanda clasped to ber breas ; was plain sho would never sec an-| should come. A few mornings ago,|tree was Amanda, Jt was explained| placed the doll in the child’s arms.| And away up in the polar regions| AND NOW PERMIT US | ‘¥ !snulord arrested for keep other Christmas, her mother asked|when tho Ittle sick girl awoke, she|that Santa had been induced to come|'That’s all there {i to the story, ex-Jold Santa hesitated, as he worked To inform you that the ten- § ing the house too warm