The evening world. Newspaper, December 13, 1922, Page 32

Meee ‘ \ ‘INE years ago, when we were new on the staff of this news- paper, we found in our mail = card bearing a poem by John E. Mabel!” The poem appealed to Us,/ 1927 campaign most profitable in his- and we made the acquaintance of the} +..y of Kleptomaniac party. guilty one. The other day Mr. Haz- having risen to afMiuence, de- things weren't so terrible, after all, and we suggested he write a sequel to his rhyme. Last night, in Dis dressing room at the Shubert ‘Theatre, where he ts acting in “The Greenwich Village Follies,” he tol- lowed our suggestion, calling the Rew poem “It Ain't So Awful, Mabel.” We immediately obtained all rights to the ruj;me. Look: Dear Mabel, well, I’m in again; In my fair hand I take my pen. To gad of business, I've a “yen,” © It ain't so awful, Mabel. 1 @nit the chorus long ago (To my chauffeur that was a blow); Pm playing parts and getting dough, Bo it ain't s0 awful, Mabel. OBSERVATIONS. Bulb, that man-killing police horse, a little Western handling. » page Will Rogers! Another head the newspapers ight as well keep standing is ‘Broker Goes to Jail.” Where Ideas Flow. Mark Twain used to lic flat on his stomach when writing. -He found ideas came more readily that way. We find ideas happen along most frequently when we are in our bath. Yesterday as we reclined in our tub we had an {dea for a great piay. The imspiration brought us joy and we kicked in glee. One toe, alas! with- ‘out attracting our attention, caught the chain and out came the waste plug. When we suddenly discovered the water had all gone, consternation made us forget the plot of the play. And then you should have seen us— the picture of despair. e day we intend to hop in that| k's. dln stay there until we get the idea for the Great American’ play. ‘we were If it is a financial success, we'll go} YOU think of bichloride tablets, but back to our original Saturday night] CO™Promise on radio tormentor. sehedule and stick to it. named Olile “I wonder,” said Mary, as the two girls strolled along the _ boulevard, “why that horse doc- } tor did not have a horse?” | “Thee has me, kid!” replied the Chinese girl. Mary was astounded. Never before had Abba Dabba used slang in conversing with her. But the matter passed off as a little blond thing came along. It was easy to see she was a film w actress, so the visiting girls waited and watched. “Good morning, ladies!" The film actress had spoken. Mary and Abba Dabba were en- tranced. Mary kicked Abba and the latter spoke. “Vell, how iss der vorld treat- ing you?” asked the Chinese girl. At that point a bootlegger was 4, seen approaching. The little * pim star screamed. Abba Dabba . Grew her bowie knife. Mary saw * something had to be done. “Well, I declare!” she said in @ low, musical tone. “Hat” said the bootlegger, waving a bottle. _ The little film star was very much perturbed. “Do not approach,” she said to the man. But he did approach. Mary climbed a tree and Abba Dabba jumped a fence. “IT am Mary Pickaxe!” screamed the little film star. And as the golden sun sank behind yonder hills a tumble- bug cooed to its mate. All na- ture was at rest. (To be continued.) comesery THIS AND THAT. Bash, O., has written us some start- ling mews from that town. Really, we can't believe it. Read this letter and let us know what you think of it: “Dear Sir: | think you're too good a writer to be bunked by Jets thig correspondent of ning World Comics! a ~ JOE’S CAR ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. BuT we CAN'T BACK OUT OF IT Now — ar TER BLOWIN’ ALL aT DOUGH IN: WE GoTTA SEE 'T “WiROUGH “76 “H' BITTER END! 1 FEEL ROTTEN oOpAY — ft wish 1 (DIDN'T HARTA Go “1 Tar DINNER, TONIGHT — I DON'T FEEL LIKE SITTIN’ UP IN My “TRICK CLOTHES 7 AN' ACTING PLEASANT “To A LoT RICH FAT HEADS! WEY MIKE. - see iF YOU CAN GET A FEW SQUEAKS OUTA This Copyright, 1922 (New York Evening World), Publi ITH last Monday of December looming up, Christmas vot- ers are making whirlwind tour of shopping precincts to insure heavy poll of charge accounts. Shoplifters posse of credit experts are loose, weeding out repeaters from strictly Minority party of instal- ment citizens are casting ballots in form of $1 down, with monthly re- counts and excuses. eyeballs of non-partisan bystander, this is busiest Xmas raffle since 1921, with positively no exceptions. 1922, will be same old Citizens will hang up stockings. Department stores will hang up new records. Trust will hang up unsold turkeys for another year of cold storage. one is always taking the joy out of Christmas shopping. the guy that wri Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. You, Look LIKE SOMETHING THE CAT DRAGGED IN-<WHY THE “SMITH BROS "MAKE UP~ GONNA PLAY SANTA CLAUS * ~1I'M RAISIN’ A A BEARD FoR SET OF GRoGANs WHY THEY DONT BECome Sou ATALL Gift problem snaps at our bankroll ‘That is one item Ford What to slip your is conundrum that leaps up like frightened cockroach to plague insolvent swain. correct swag to your eutie’s popper is thick enough puzzle, without regard But exploring for some- thing that’s shiny but cheap brings gray streaks to Sir Galahad's greased gal’s relations If you gave the old boy what he needs, you'd ease him price of first class haircut. Procedure at Xmastide decrees some- thing ornate, but positively useless. Silver ple fork would fill out those only popper gargles mince and squash with a knife. are strategy and keen thinking baffled, Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. fou MEAN —"YoU Dott GET WHAT Yeu DREAM You RE GOoNnN& CET - ? THEN I BET You Dot CIMME ANICE WHITE DOG - ee peop DREAM ~ 1 DREAMED Ou CAve ME & PRETTY WHiTe Doc WiTHouT MY FACNIN THE Modey, of. fod DiQ-Did you 2 WELL , You KNOW DREAMS ALWAYS Go Br ConTRARIES. Clattering down list of Yuletide es- we halt at trinkets for Sweetie’s mommer, brother and sister. You give till it hurts your credit rat- ing in grabbing tokens for Mom and Anything simple for Maw will do, like mink ulster or noose of per- fectly matched opals, Xmas line plunging is now practi- cally over except trifling ornament for In pre-season signal prac- she cooed for tice on parlor sofa, something inexpensive and neat. BOYS, don't fall for that gag—“IT’S JUST WHAT | WANTED.” sweet-and-pretty got what she wanted for Christmas, she'd have hawser of twined around her ermine shawl tossed over shoulder blades, and sundry other protections from pneumonia like platinum pump buckles and peacock fan, GoSH !1 WONDER WHY THAT KID HANGS AROUND HERE! | WANT Yo SEE FRITZ) ALONE ------ =---- WHY DONT YoU RUN AWAY AND PLAY, MY LITTLE CHAP 2 WWE. GOT A DATE WITH FRITZI HERE, \ SUPPOSE. SHE'S LATE AS USUAL | ELL ,HERES A QUARTER , GO AND BUY YOURSELF SOME CANDY NAW! \D RUTHER STAY AND WATCH, YOU GET UP OFF That ‘neat and inexpensive” stuff is out! It 1s up to you to act like per- fect gent. Buy her something she will be proud to take to jeweller’s to find out how much it cost. Buy her some- thing elegant and luxurious. thing she will never part with, sot Something to be proud of in sickness, in health and hock. any little thing that weighs from 3/2 BUY HER—oh, After all, Christmas comes but once a year. That's fifty-two times per year less than instalment hounds show Be brave when you do your sirlie’s Christmas shopping. heart, like cheap jewelry, never won And “something inexpen- I WANTA GIVE You A Litt Tie MIKE — DON'T EVER GET MIXED DP IN ANY DINNER PARTIES WITH MILLIONAIRES! : STEER CLEAR OF THAT CRowb ——]/| You SAID (1! (TS MORE TROUBLE “THAN IT'S You DON'T WORTH — TAKE \T FROM GET ME MIXED I'M _GOIN' Theu trl} (N ANY OF THAT STUFF - NIX I T OVER HEARD “TH WIFE SAY SHE'S GONNA Give ME A “Nie” FoR xmas $ Beppe Coun/HAN-+ Maybe It’s Black and White ! ; T Bet He s ‘ > A NICE BLACK doc]: WiLL MARY GET THAT Doe OR WONT sHE PAID FoR WIA Dishes, Mavi DED ERRANDS, wre — \7< Docwen FoR KitKinie oN! Sons To 3€0, MAKING Facey Being sassy Late To Sedoa ere YO ResuT 23e NM DEBT_ scout NOED j OMoRROW —THE MAN JUST PAINTED \T THIS MORNINGY WHY NOT FAKE A TALK OVER THE PHONE To AGIRL Gee, 0 Like BOSS TO Give ME A WRIST WATCH FoR“) ISHUS, BUT L Don'T|| FRIEND WHILE KNow HoW To THROW HELLO SUSIE, How) ARE You P— ~ WHAT! YOUR Boss Is GIVING You A WRIST WATCH FoR CRISMUS ? GOLLY, You'RE LUCKY! TH WHAT 1 Need! y - FeRDIE is A MARVEL AT IDEAS! 4. HOLD DOWN THE HOOlx, AN’ MAKE Believe LM CALLING UP sive and simple’ never meant what it Nou MEAN )| oveR THE, PHONE KATINKA IS}] AN (T'S BEEN OUT ferson Shrewsbury Nutt. He has used your name and a card bear- ing your name to mooch booze, crash into film shows and get in- troductions to beautiful women, He has got credit on the strength of an alleged debt of $11 you owe him, and he claims him and his wife wrote a song called ‘Send Dudley to the Chair,’ getting tired of him and would ride this Lion-Tamer out of town il if rails for fuel wasn't Last week he wore wife's shoes two days while own were getting hal we said in the army, this is for your information, Mr. Dudley.” YOUR Boss |S We cannot believe Mr, Nutt is such a man as the foregoing paints bim. Possibly the answer for it lies In a note from him, just in, WHY, SHE'S TALKIN’ Take THe AIR WITH YouR IDEAS }- Solon Tecumseh Propps of Bo- | and the wife are getting up a minstrel show hore for the Old Folks’ home gets 5 per cent. of the prof- How about buying a couple of tickets for $11? The wife in- tended to sing ‘Send Dudley to the Chair,’ but she's got a hollow tooth that whistles, Solon Te- MAN OF HIS WORD. ORRY to mention it, old man,” cumseh Propps went into a candy store yesterday and told a girl he wanted some kisses. but haven't succeeded.” Brown, AND NOW PERMIT US To inform you that Charles Money has the contract to erect the new bank building at Forest bill would do as well.”’ “No,” responded Johnson, shaking|see that you get it, for I'm not th his head. “I'm a man of my word.|man to go back on my promise, n I said I'd return that bill to you,| sir.""—Boston Transcript. “That bill was series F, No. borrowed | 672,945, issue of 1910. I made a note then spent the money. then I've been trying to getty | it, but he didn’t know it. M Much excitement, but could learn that $6 of me and you promised faith fully to retura it in six weeks," ' te nt , old friend, and I meant “But,"* sald Brown, “any other $5] Just 38 soon as I come across 15, series F, issue of 1910,