The evening world. Newspaper, November 7, 1922, Page 20

By BIDE Perhaps you think your luck is bad; Perhaps you're very blue, You're _ possibly friend, And wonder what to do. Don't go around as thou, were The driver of a hearse; Be glad you're not a candidate, You sce, things might be discouraged worse. he candidate in politics Is called a rogue, a thief, They. tell you he’s been taking graft; Oh, he’s a bandit chief He may have been-an honest man, But on him Tow’s a curse; Tot? . Your see, things might be worse. just put that smile back on your face, Get busy—buckle in! {You'll find your luck will change i around, a And soon you're bound to win “Go to it” is a motto, friend, As sturdy as it’s terse; Be glad you're not a candidate, , You see, things might be worse. OBSERVATIONS. William Allen White goes to trial Nov. 22. We predict we'll see Will- jam Allen Whitewashed, Dominique won the Equity Handi- cap at Pimlico yesterday. Let he didn’t carry any Fidelity money. A Bronxville man clainis his wife beat him with a sboe, Before we make further®comment we want ‘io find out if there was a foot in the shoe. y That Bronx landlord who fiddled while his furnace fires went out has sliscovered that music hath no charms to soothe the savage tenant. _. ICE-CREAM ARTHUR'S LOVE. F Mary Louise Mud-On-Tho-Car- pet, the Indian girl, was very beautiful, but all she would say to the proposals of men was “Ugh!” To Arthur Wow, how- ever, she did condescend to re- mark “Waugbt* ‘Twas on «@ + summer's day. Arthur, of course, was greatly ‘encouraged, but he had failed to reckon on the wrath of Anna Crackerjacki. She had brought him to the Hole-in-the-Wall country to seek the widow's gold, not to flirt with Indian women, and Anna packed a punch iv either hand. She did not love Wow, but she was a WOMAN. So! The day was beautiful. It was Teally Republican weather when _,Arthur came ulong the trail smoking a cigaret. His idea was to marry Mary Louise and in- stal her in a Harlem flat with a phonograph and everything. “Good morning, Mary Louise.” Arthur said it sweetly. “Waugh!” (See, we told you she would say “Waugh” to Ar- thur.) Arthur was delighted. It looked Tike smooth sailing for him. Good Evening! 1} entrie ae why should you deplore your} ~ jtown “yesterday from Bogash, and ‘Theatrical News and Gossip | DUDLEY {Poems OF PREFERENCE. | Our announcement yesterday that the mucilage sundae, the prize in this coutest, would be awarded Sat urday, bas brought us many new Among those who sent in rhymes to-day is Hooley Squinter of Tuckahoe, This is the sort-of a girl Who he may be Jerseyite or c’en neville flapper n, maiden fair to see il think of no one else but me Brooklyn But she must have a heart so large 'Twould fill a coal gcow or a barge. When she fun? is found, won't ave have Her daddy will annex a son, “pnts,” pajamas.” But Anna stepped from behind a rock. (Ab, ha, Arthur, look out!) “Wait!” Anna hissed it “You shall not marry Miss Mud-On-The-Carpet.” Arthur quailed before her at- tack. In his nervousness he saw a wild flower and reached for it. ‘Then Arthur pulled a bloomer, (To be continued.) he sald, “is the cat's What About This? Comes B. Solo with a poser. Says he: “A match, when it is out, gives no light, but look at the light the moon gives when it is but NUTT’S DOPE. Jefferson spectal Shrewsbury Nutt, correspondent, arrived our in wilf report the election for this col- umn. Late last night a messenger boy brought us a note from Jeff, It follows Dear Dud: | and the wife got to town this morning to cover the election for you. The wife thinks Copeland will be the next Mayor, Mil but I'm betting on Al both sorry you time, as it would of been a walk-away for you. We could of organized communi- ty sings everywhere end they would of gang ‘Send Dudley to the Chair’ with the wife moan- ing high soprano. You know, singing has a great effgst on peo} The wife would of got the people singing and ended up by making them all promise to vote for you. She uses singing where | use hooch. By the way, don't worry about the up-State vote. It's solid for Health Com- missioner Calder. The fatmers know he ordered the Hall-Mills investigation to be brought to a fracas and they'll be for him to a man. Say, while | think of it, you better send me $11 in’ the morning. ! want to bet it on Cohalan for Governor, The wife and I went to see the ‘49ers at the Punching Judy Theatre to- night. Who the h—I has been writing the plays for that Algon- quin Lunch Club, anyway? Much excitement but could learn nothing-—Jeff.” AND NOW PERMIT US To say to tho four-year-old daughter of the new German "Empress: You're right about the ex-Kaiser looking like Santa Claus, but he'll never have an other reign, dear.” TLBERT MILLER Gepted a new play by Sa Field entitled ‘Zander Great” Company wil) produce ‘t in the future. the and the Charles Frohman near WELL, MEBBE! trent Cast! appear ul a special midn ow ntral Theatre to-night. Rather Tree to be up, ien't it? will t the tor “THE APPLICANT. irving 6. Strouse and Lorenz M Hart, who produced “The Pirst Fitty Years," havo tel a play by Minette Hirst called “The Appll- cant” and will stage it soon. It is a mystery play and should fill a long- VIRTUE" DUE SOON. Tbe Empire Play Company wiii the dag ano Pauline Armitage, Arneld,” Ploy Murray, Marian Hatohins, George McQuarrie, Ben Hendricks, Henry J. Sell, Arttur ason;-Ciarence Hundysides and Williams, | MAX 18 A DADDY. "Max A. Meyer, treasurer at the _. Blew ‘Thearte, is the proud duady of t a new drama entitied “Vir- ae the Bayes Theatre on Nov nm, born a x ts giving all his r 80 ago, is 25-cent THE NEW EQUITY CAST. Tho cast of ‘Hospitality, the s ond Equity Players’ pr Louise ( Juction will Hale, Tom Povah, HarrletWood ar, Margaret Brough NEW KEITH HOUSE OPENED. Cleveland comes ®, Keith F 1d the to be the mc world, was open ht brilliant butlt under the n of E. F. Albee, the opening und em ens of New b was run from New York by the ith inter ests. Governors irom ten States and Mayors « y cities y present at the dedicat ust 1 The thanks State of Ohi Albe of tt were extended ptiful } seldom seen in theatr GOSSIP. Lucie Chalfant has chances to rent her dr the Shubert. It is on comedy row Rugolph Valentino and Winifred Hudout will sco “The Lust Warning” sing room at JOE’S * ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. oft : Joe Is Growing Suspicious! anne 5 . y = ' 6 — rcame in Took Yur cars ovER =) Here's OUR NEWEST FOUR CYLINDER MopEL = Now! Take OUR DEMONSTRATOR ‘ MY WIFE WANTS ME “fo HUY ONE = LOOK AT HER LINES ~ LOOK AT: “THAT SNAPEY: QuT AND PUT IT THRouGH ANY vy A . | ‘LRERSONALLY THINK “Tiey'RE TiN canst PAINT Job — LooK AT “Hose. EXTRAS —— EST You CAN “Tink OF ~ THEN ~ SAY. ARE Y' TRYING op eee IN SHOW ME. ANOTHER @AR I (T'S T'SeLL ME ONE ?2 Evy Cae Has U's KNOCKER! PRICE CLASS “To EQUAL IT AND {Lt GIVE YOU ONE FREE !! { 1 HAD ‘T' PROMISE | “Th wiFe. UD KooK at ‘em! rade Sark Neg. U. 8. Pat, off SPEAKING OF THAT DEER Gov SHOT Nonice Sou MoDIEY ITS SIZE “TO GouR VARIOUS LIS ners! J / f \j Honest ! THEY WERE i) sHAT LONG ! : WEOSA,KURLY — | AN HIS"ANTLERS } ne WERE THAT LONG { More THAN THINK ~He'LL TT ‘(VNMRAETETTE eNe — fh Sains 9 € & eT “Rete ee a eee LITTLE MARY MIXUP —) y 4) p | Khe = rN wi mY MA Bosae Ss PA wont | ee ‘ eis Dont d LET HIS MA sPaAnK = | 2 4 | eee, Gas | WANTS “Te YER M& DASS'T HIM se Dont RAL | im this PA A ee | Sfat YA, Span Me Ppa Sebo WOULR "BE Vc. eer: i - a ; AWFUL MAD aie SOME Good? ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THIS BEING A POLICEWOMAN — THE UNIFORM 1S DONT BE SWLY! YOU THINK FOR A MOMENT) THAT ID WALK IN THE RITZMORE with MyS HAR LIKE THIS 2 gy wy E WELL , BEAT [T UP To THE RITZMORE — THEYVE CAUGHT Cuey Laoy ARE You A cop 24 te TARR WHITTINCTON | Aided by the Enemy! AN HE MARKED), ~ KATINKA NOW, DON'T FORGET To) HARK YouR BALLOT CAREFULLY ! IT'S A LONG SHEET FilteD GEE, THAT WAS [Not A BIT, F Quick! HAVE ANY | MET THE NICEST MAN ) TROUBLE DOPING _ || WITH WHITE SPATS AN OUT THE BALLOT ?| (HIGH HAT IN THERE —, MY CHANCE FOR CONGRESSMAN ee ee —— at to-morrow night. They want to meet] gustus 4 1 ." at] gogua 4 34 West 116th om Vienna to visit her & expected to go I atic FOOLISHMENT Mike he Hotel Ast 1 Street, N 1 Viennese and the-couple } at least thie i girl owt in Kalamazou “The Taming of the Shrew" will t George M. Cohar eyitte} ‘Phe | Short Tack Sais W s To three young men trie in the repertoire of Cecile Sorel at ihe| Nellie Kelly ‘next | ‘Abie's Lrish Rose’ ic in Vienna PUT IT IN THE ACT i ited AItMAILAA Ct oh: pith treet Theatre next wee Monday evening Mrs. Long Tack Sam, wifo of t . auty skin deo STN The Friars will give & di r| ‘Tho Institutional 1 w Chinese ooinedian and juggler xt t! A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. n why, don’t you skin that git] On the poor Tittle dunce, Judge Landiz, Will MW. Hays aud Au-lsent “On the Veranda” at tue Sy Hippodrome, has arrived in New Yok , normally, Republican by, two] of yourg?’? ~L, b, bAnd now the whale tela ie thiguyh bs