The evening world. Newspaper, November 6, 1922, Page 32

Good E By BIDE When mother wants to buy a gown And needs a little cash, To bluntly break the awful news To father would be rash She calls him to the dining room, And feeds him food he loves She gets the gown and probably A nice new pair of gloves. When sister needs a new fall hat, She bakes an apple pie And after father’s eaten it, And heaved a joyous sigh, She throws her arms around his neck He lets her have the price And ev’rything at home that night, Is very, very nice. Now, mother says they're all alike, That food will make them sweet, With stomach full, she says, Is certain life’s complete. As long as father's appetite _ Is working, we're all right, But should dyspepsia knock it out, Oh, boy! Likewise,,good night! a man, OBSERVATIONS, Crime Less, Says Banton.—Head- line. And yet New York isn’t crime- less. Strange centenarian out in Mich- igan! Didn't dance the fox trot on her one hundredth birthday. Family in Monticello, Ind. has grandfather's clock one hundred years old. High old time, as it were! Girls in cornbelt still partial to short skirt. Cornfed legs always were good looking. Brooklyn team releases Catcher Miller, ‘Another evidence it’s a hard- luck year for the Millers. Elizabeth, N. J., honors Mickey Walker with parade and he wears crown, S'all right just so long as some other fighter doesn’t crown him, ICE-CREAM ARTHUR'S LOVE. (Oh, why should the spirits of mortals be banned?—Hotts.) The Hole-in-the-Wall country had a sweet Indian girl within its confines. She was Mary Louise Mud-on-the-Carpet, a daughter of old Chief Growl-at- an-Oyster, of the Whatchagimme Tribe of blanket ballot Indians. All the men, including cowboys, bandits and gentlemen bootleg- gers, were in love with her, but } her heart was still whole and fancy Freeport. Howaéver, fate | had something in store for Mary. Love was to come and Cupid, with his bow and arrow, ‘was to let daylight through her Beart. ‘Twas on a summer day. Isn't that a pretty Indian maiden?” i The words were spoken by Anna Crackerjacki to Arthur ‘Wow, who had accompanied her into the wilds to seek the wid- i : ow’'s gold. } “Yes,” said Arthur, stroking About Plays NEW play called “The End of iA the World” has been. accepted by the Messrs, Shubert for im- mediate productiono. It is by Ed- ‘ward Delaney Dunn and is based on @ play by Ernest Klein, So far the cast includes Alexandra Carlisle, Vin- cent Serrano, William Morris, Al- phonz Ethier and Emmett Shackel- ford. George Henry Trader will stage the play. "TWAS EVER THUS. Six months ago Dan Kusell sub- mitted a comedy drama to a Broad- way manager, who turned it down, saying he could not afford to produce a play by an unknown author. Then Dan wrote and produced “The Ging- ham Girl.” A few days ago the man- ager called him up and usked if the comedy drama was still available. “No,” came the reply, “It is to be produced soon.” “By whom?" “Me!” And then Dan Kusell chuckled in satisfaction. * A “BKIRT’ NUMBER, “The Long and Short of It,’’ a song travesty on the skirt-length contro- versy, will be added to ‘The Passing Show of 1922" to-morrow night. Ten girls in long skirts and ten in short Will argne the question with rhymed rnetoric and limber legs. A BAD GUARANTEE. @ules Hart, glove man, went to a show at the Selywn Theatre the other night and was recognized by a woman. Bhe said: “Mr. Hart, do you remember those gloves I got from you three months ago?” “Xea,"’ he replied. “What about eatrical News and Gossip] vening! DUDLEY POEMS OF PREFERENC! The noiseiess cornet, the prize in this contest, will be awarded next Saturday. The judges are Jefferson Shrewsbury Nutt, Editor Elisha Q. Pertle of the Wellsville Optic and Senator McQuaid of Ping, Me. To: day's entry in the race is Bramwell Bunn of Siwash. His bid for a wife follows: Oh, lady fair, where are you at? And what can be your name? Please listen while I tell you that True love to you has came. You may be fat, you may be lean, I hope yow're deaf and dumb. Appear! I'll wed you sight unseen, And I guess that's going some! his mustache. “She is a.pippin, but I understand 85 per cent. of her tribe is drunk all the time.” Mary was in a tree picking Marischino cherries. Old Chief Growl-at-an-Oyster has asked for a cocktail. “Hullo, Girl!” Thus called Anna. “Hullo ugh!” replied Mary Arthur thought her voite very musical and he wished he had brought his saxophone. “Nice day!" This was his salutation. “Sure!” said Mary. “Who won the auto in the ‘What didja See’ contest to-day?” ‘Twas a strange question. Anna was frightened. Turning she smashed Arthur in the nose. Arthur Wow was sorely tried, but there was little to be sald. (To be continued.) A DOOLITTLE GEM. Ellabelle Mae Doolittle, the tal- ented Delhi poetess, heard a little Negro boy singing “Frankie” the other day and was charmed. The adventures of Frankie and her gen- tleman friend, Albert, interested Miss Doolittle greatly, because of the utter nativity of the song. Hurry- ing home she wrote a poem on American music. The poem: American music isn't grand opera, It is the Negro tune, And yet it is at the top era, As sweet as the hydrangea in June. The song about Frankie is delicate, And her calling Albert's bluff, Yet I presume some would bellyache About it and call it cheap stuf. My sister's child, Teeney Ricketts, Cut off her grandfather's beard. Never do such a thing again, my child. He looks so awfully absurd. But, getting back to American music, “Frankie” is charming to me. I must stop now, for P. Bilas Petti- bone Is coming in this evening for tea. AND NOW PERMIT US to inform you that Will Rogers says Henry Ford would make a fine Prseident if he wasn't so darned competent. and Players told me they would last two years, and I lost them inside of a week.” THE BUGS DID IT. Raymond Crane, after seeing “The World We Live In" the other after- noon, dropped in the offices of Henry W. Savage, Inc. “Just saw the insect show,'’ he said “Know anything asked Zelda Sears, “A whole lot. “I'm looking for a man to play @ lug Professor in ‘The Clinging Vine." “Get out the contracts," sald he. And Raymond Crane was engaged then and there, or else Ann Grosve- nor Ayres has spoofed us, about bugs?" POP CROPPER OVERJOYED. Roy Cropper was singing in ‘Blos- som Time'' Saturday afternoon when @ woman appeared in the stage en- trance of the Century with a baby. “Hear papa singing, baby?" said the woman, The stage manager began to edge the woman out. Cropper appeared. “It's all right,” he said, He put one finger in the baby's mouth and danced @ fig of joy “Louse has got a tooth. Whee!" And then the Cropper nurse took the baby home. Mother Cropper had merely hit upon an unusual way to convey the news to dad. Gossip, Lieut. Col. C. T. Davis will act with Elsie Ferguson in “The Wheel of Life.” The ‘‘Kempy’’ folks will have a go- ing awey party on the Belmont stage a JOE’S CAR | ry MONDAY, NOV EMBER 6, 1922 | The Evening NoTHin' Don) — “THE ONE Car ON TH! MARKET That L DON'T LiKE — They're A BUNCH OF. JUNK = 1 WOULDN'T Give. Two CENTS FoR & DOZEN OF 'EM WELL, MRS. Hick UKES HERS.— Ay di) 4 THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY YOU PICK OUT MRS. WHAT WON'T CATCH LiL' Jo FALLING FOR ANY “TIN Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. weit, tut OVER , AND HICK! 4 Lot & care. | | 2 AN'T BEAT OL' ED MRS. HICK LIKES ~ You WHEN IT Comes To Havin! ALL HE.LATEST DOPE ON “WE AUTCMOTIVE “TRADE -~ (M Nis wise! . “RELLIK" eosin !tHe case WAS PRECISELY SIMILAR To Sours AND THAT WAS WHAT We SIMPLY = AW! ir wae LOVELY OPERATION t x d AN’ THAT PATIENT= } pe PATIENT Doc - ter me ) a =DID HE 5 see! / RECOVER CA oN oveR quick # WORRIES GONHA GET A NICKEL FOR DRYING Distes- DT iF de | BeeaKs, One He Does Nt GET ANY Nickel - on HOMER HAVE YOU HEARD — FRITZ) HAS JOINED “THE “POLICEWOMAN'S $ COMMUNITY FORCE KATINKA A WHEN BoBRie Gets Te Nicker J We tL MAKE y ] 1m BUY SOMETHIN’ Yes 17S Quit! THE THING P Ol ‘ The Consultation ! | a BAILA # 1000 ee me Four CYLINDER |. : "RELLIK" forld Comics | - TELL YU — We LooweD 'EM Aut lE. 1 WAS GONNA BUY ME A CAR chass —\'D Buy “hat — > ~~ A Small Detail! SHELP ME HANNAH — I Force! c a We ot WAIT Richt HERE Yiu. He GETS Tdat Nicten SENSE? I won? Ger You Ga ANY NicKer 3 ! WELL 1M GLAD OF THAT \] BECAUSE IF \T HAS NO OTHER INFLUENCE ON HER \T WILL, AT LEAST FORCE HER To DRESS SENSIBLY THE REGULATION UNIFORM, BELIEVE, 1S 2 A GOOD FULL SKIRT ANKLE LENGIH-A ) NIKE ROOMY COAT AND A SENSIBLE J HAT— VERY MODEST , VERY (Con PA! Gwe us 7 A Look t AINTCHA GOT. ANY } > BREAK & | Plate Far % wHaT D AND LARRY WHITTINGTON The Ti “We WHOLE SECRET OF 'SUCESS 1S CONFIDENCE ! IEA PERSON TaiKs {TINTo MWASELF THAT HE'LL ISUCCEED HE'S BOUND To! WHY Saturday night. Sunday. Louis F. Werba will launch his new comedy, ‘Barnum Was Right," at the Apollo, Atlantic City, to-night. Thomas Hunt and Bert Angelis have joined the cast of ‘A Fantas- ‘They go to Chicago RICHTO! THATS Be ELECTeD! Trl So CONFIDEN -t EVEN MYSE! . “CONGRESSMAN ALL READY ! (A SHALL Roos WITH BATH Witt DO! SIGN AY NAME HERE ? — ene rE Tit GONNA ALL LE tic Fricassee"’ lage Theatre The Sisters Arnold Orchestra has been engaged to play at the Hippo- drome during intermissions. Norval Keedwell of “Why Men Leave Home" ts the daddy of a new at the Greenwich Vil- WE'RE PROWD TS BE HONORED BY YEP! WEONLY CATER) SNCH A DISTINSUISHED PERSON! Tote Best Iconcressnay WE WANT YLT ACCEPT THE PecPLe! A { a ae BesT SuITe INTHE HOUSE AND stay) CONGRESSMAN __} | THAT SUy LAIMBRAIN SusT | REGISTERED 5 3 HERE ! 3 AS OUR GUEST! -— / Je \CAND DATE \He oFFIce (THAN KSI ) girl. Mother and child indeed well; Norval Keedwell Charles Dillingham and R. i Burnside are consulting the internal revenue people with the end in view claim is made that the big theatre is an educational institutior A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY, And neither does m time It seems to us that the is ripe The town is nice, I of having the war tax on tickets de-| for somebody to wiite and produce clared off at the Hippodrome, The] mystery play. But gosh, we can'tl LHE'LL BE FOOLISHMENT I do not live in Babylon tle Sure Got Ferdie Some “Pull”! FoR] AN’ PUT IT IN THE ACT, "If I take this Job do I get a change y Cousin John,| 9 "8 alder “You bet you do! You rise at 6 A M. every day," ive everyu ‘ BRD,