The evening world. Newspaper, September 15, 1922, Page 36

Good Evening DUDLEY "Give us back the good old days, She sang there on the stage; (Though she was sixty-two years old She didn't show age She sang it o'er and o'er again And made a good-sized hit But out in front sat Toper Joe, And he just had a fit. her Since things went “dry” Joe had been sore, His nose was still quite red; He'd vowed if booze were kept from him He'd quit the country dead Joe ‘rose and said, “You've got it right, In forty diffrent ways They ought to pass a law to g gi ve Us back the. good.old daze.” OBSERVATIONS, While mountains of coal are no longer seen in Pennsylvania, coul mining will reach its peak there s00n. Ford finds it possible now to keep his plants gotng. The same cannot always be said of all of their output Mary E. Campbell, the prize beau { POEMS OF PREFERENCE | Jessie W., who says she “rattles 4 writewagon” for a Wall broker, is making today’s bid for the lefthanded cranberry pie, offered » the prize in this contest. Her idea of the rigit sort of a man to marr follow Street T want a man who's straight and tall Who'll never drink or gamble, Who, till we wed, will nightly call, Down Lovers’ Lane to ramble. If want a man who'll call me “Dears ind tell me that I'm pretty. That man I cannot sind, I fear, Iu all of New York City. Our City,"" which had ‘been taught them by the Postmaster A riot seemed imminent At that point a dark form ap peared around the trough “Cuckoo!” Toady Allen had was greeting Tessie. She picked up a handful of mud and suc ceeded in rubbing it in bis hair Two dogs began to fight aud the watering trough began to leak. Tt all seemed so absurd (To be continued.) arrived aud To Make a Splash. ty, shouldn't take her honors too at teeshG PeAL a:médern sever seriously. Fifteen carloads of} room house; must have bathtub Peaches aro being received here] Wellsville Optic daily. Major General Sir George Tom , THIS AND THAT. Molesworth Bridges, K. C. M.G., C.]_ Do you \kmow what “runaway B., D. S. O., has been appointed Gov-] money” is? “It is money people leave ernor of South Australia, Evidently {®t box offices, change booths, ete., he is a man of letters. TAXICAB TESSIE. "T love you, déar,” the maiden sang, But Hector didn't ge a dang Pinklespenre Tt was at the dedication of Jimtown's new watering trough for horses that Tessie found her ) realself, Social functions of this nature were few and far between in the Skootch County town, so she attended, thinking some day she might own a horse. As she stood at the edge of Bellyfull Park, 'n which the trough had een erected, the pretty school teacher sighed. “T am reminded of Civic Vir- tue,” she said. “How's that?” A masculine voice, containing @ tear, had asked the question. “Shakespeare never repeats Her reply was a poser for 0. Oscar Mcintyre, the town’s un- dertaker, who bad thus attacked her. “You should never have sald jit," he snapped. } “Oh, go nai! your coffins!” | “You're a smart thing!” The undertaker had made a faux pas. Soon it was seen he had offended the school children j who loved their teacher. ; They refused to sing “All Hail H NEW comedy by Abby Mer- A chant, entitled “The Ever Green Lady," will open an engagement at the Punch and Judy “Theatre on Oct. 9. Beryl Mercer will have the title role and J. M. Kerrigan will direct the production in addition to acting a principal role. ‘Miss Merchant has written a number of plays and once conducted a thea- tre ut Galesburg, Ii. She is making her debut as a Broadway author with “The Ever Green Lady." David Wallace, heretofore known as an able and ambidexterous press agent, is the producer involved. ANENT “MALVALOCA,” “Malyaloca,"’ the first production ef the Equity Players, will play a sweek's engagement at the Auditorium ‘Theatre, Baltimore, before coming to ithe 48th Street here on Oct. 2. Jane Cowl will be seen ih this play as will tbe Loutse Closser Hale. | “YOUTH” IN STAMFORD, The Messrs. Shubert will present their latest musical piece, ‘Spring- time of Youth," to-night and to-mor- row in Stamford. In the cast are George MacFarlane, Olga Steck, Harry ©. Morton, Zella Russell, Har- wy Kelly, Eleanor Griffith, Charles Brown, J. Harold Murray, Walter J Presten, Marie Pettes, Grace Hamil- ton and Harry, McKee. t GWARTZ DECIDES, | Maurice Swarts bas decided to L¢ in their hurry to get away. About Plays and Players And you'd be surprised to know how much it amounts to all over Greater New York daily. Incidentally, we run across a money changer in the subway, now and then, who doesn't mind aiding people to overlook a part of their cash before him and he will push ont five nickels, but one will be left a few inches inside the window, of twenty people will overloox this Put a quarter One oat nickel and it becomes “runaway money, which goes, we presume, into the pocket of the changer. There is a persistent newsboy whu operates near the Grand Central Terminal. Yesterday he offered us his wares. We declined them but be wouldnt let us off. Walking alongside of us he offered to curry a package we had. We declined again but he wouldn't quit. This time he suggested that we let him call a tax leab for us. On being turned down again, he dropped his papers and said: “Want me to turn a handspring tor you, Mister?” We bought a paper. AND NOW PERMIT US To inform you that we saw half a dozen boys in a vacant lot with some empty whiskey bottles playing drug store yesterday. open his season at the Yiddish Art Theatre with a matinee on Sept. 23 The play will be ‘Andersh,’? by H Leivick. HOLLYWOOD JOKES OUT, FB. F. Albee has issued a statement ndiice venpavilia cartormieea ta aiiin inate from their acts all jokes aimed at Hollywood. He thinks they are in bad taste, A BIG SHOW SUNDAY, The Young Folks’ League, which aids Hebrew infants, will have an en tertainment at the Hotel McAlpin Sunday afternoon. Arthur Rosenfeld, r known as tho company pre guests, and these musical comed folk will figure prominently in the fun. Mr. Rosenfeld himself pi ° to do a clog dance, assisted by poser Frank H. Grey. J. Osborne Clemson, the company manager, will recite “The Race Horse and the Boob,’ written by Jack Walium GOSSIP, Jill Middleton is in the "Delly Jor dan'’ company. Ethel Shutta has been added to the cast of “The Passing Show of 1922 Milton ©. Herman has been ap pointed stage manager of ‘'Thir Ice." Gus Hill will swing the clubs at the E. E. Rice Benefit, Apollo Theatre Sunday night The management of ‘Hunky Dory’ | wishes it known that the play in Scotch dialect A stray black kitten, which recently adopted the Hippodrome, has been placed on the payroll, The new burlesque revue at the Pas wae gayed twice yesterday be-~ 8 not The Evening World Comics , JOK’S CAR ee \e THAT DETECTIVE CAN JUST CATCH Ty' BIRD THAT SOLD Me Th’ car 1M WILLING To Lose THE DOUGH 1 PuT Joe ts Gan MAPPY ~ THe FAY DETECTIVE WHO INFORMED HIM .. “THAT HE HAD BOUGHT A STOLEN CAR(S GOING “To “TAKE “THe. CASE IN HAND AND GUARANTEES HE WILL BRING THE CROOK WHO SOLD JOE The CAR ‘To Justice! THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY LITTLE MARY MIXUP ) come BACK Heme - ] Now. “Dont ca | “way Tit T cer THROUGH “TALKING \ IN (T= Au wee \ WA: iT 1s : REVANGE ON Yi! “SFUNNY HE DON'T Cone. BACK WITH “THE CAR — H& WAS JUST GONNA RUN OVER AN' REPORT “To His CHIEF = HE'S A QUEER DucK! ‘Trade Mark Reg. U weve HAn AmouT ENovett } oF THIS- AMD 1 Dont WANT 1 TO HARDEN AEAIM -| UMDERSTAND % Not ONCE MoReE ! 1s NOW THIS 1s THE LAST TIME I'M GOING TS SPEAK TS YOU A@BouT iT ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. off, ¥!) YES MADAM! 1 | New, BE SURE GUESS IT WILL BE : Come AT } SAFE To LEAVE @ SHARP! MY CELLO HERE! eee Wak THE Missus 15 GIVINTA ic) SWELL PARTY To-NIGHT | (LE SHE EVEN HIRED A GREAT SIAN FoR THE OCCASION —)} TUAY: Wherein the Fat One Works Fast! 1GoT Him! HERE HE (3 8 come AN’ Look HIM OVER I! Joe (3 GETTING “HE ACTION HE CRAVED — (T DEGINS T Look ASIF THE MYSTERY WILL BE AT Last CLEARED UP ANOTHER AMAZING CHAPTER. ' “ToMoRROW, on. MINE OUGHTA BEEN AN Arnel 8 Pat. ort. ee — y IM somey Lm —~ LATE To ee AGAIN. BuT MY Mom WAS GIVIN' & Me A AWFUL 4 ) ABOUT BEING A TAUKING To what Ansour 2 hs fardasrsiuns iti Some SQUE AKY { HE LEFT IT INSIDE \A U'L TUNE FoR HE! SNEAK IN Aw’ PLAY [1 CANT GET THe ) | DARN THING UNDER} It'll Be Jail—If He Regains Consciousness! sure! ie BABS FATHER | DECIDED YVONNE, DOG WAS A NUISANCE AND | dT RID OF ry BUT IN THE DOG = POP LOCATED IT- HE SAYS A FAMIIN DOWN THE STREET FOUND iT AND WILL RETU! WAS OVERCOME WITH GRIEF AND, POP, RATHER THAN, LOSE ANYMORE MONEY ONE AFFAIR ON | fore invited audiences of soldiers and/of the national beauly contest at At- “Bally, Inst might and they do say she made a speech from the a PPisadeth Mack will direct sailors. Helen Gahagan of Bale” 1s» Brooklyn girl, Mary Katherine Campbell, winner lantla City, for | Mury’’ naw “Dreama MONEY HELOST = BEEN SAVING fT FOR MONTHS FOR! “TA POKER PARTY NEXT WEEK! L GOT RID OF THAT PESKY DOG I MISSED S50 -NOW HE DARN DOG \S COMING BACK AND TM OUT THE MONEY, BESIDES production of the ‘Strolling Player Irene and| which will be made late In October. FOOLISHMENT, e firet | 4 etty gtrl, Rosa McK oe, HERE'S THAT $50 YOU'VE BEEN WORRYING ABOUT. TTOOK t To GET YOU A BIRTHDAY PRESENT Pd [we or may 7e | |SAYS You We BOWS | | HAVE. DIS SCROOT AURRAY| TAE DOG, PoP | OWNOU LITTLE DEAR — POP, GIVE WE BOY HAT $50 A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. | Said she: “Farmer Otis, This ts the day for abandoning the You've Roney, I notice, otraw hat, In other words, the lid That means you are keeping 4 dee."| 15 of. PUT IT IN THE ACT, “The Ladies’ Aid Soctety gave a turkey dinner last might.’* “That so? What did the turtags eat?”’ —B. D. Once went to a farm by the sea, \, ca