The evening world. Newspaper, September 8, 1922, Page 28

‘ ie TOON 1 cannot sing the old-time songs For which my soul so often longs; I almost fear to try, For when | raise my baritone The neighbors start to scoff and groan And I can't tell you why One man, who is an awful chump, An old piano starts to thump To try While Jinks the way to drown my voice, who lives just o'er Has many pointed things to say, In language tar from ch@ice. Nellie Gray” voice will If 1 begin with Some fool in roaring pray And then, perhaps Somebody else will imitate he'll cuss. A lonesome cat; another skate Will yell, “Hey, stop that fuss!” And so it goes! Oh To save my lile What ails that doleful bunch; I fear my voice does not appeal woe is me! I cannot see To those who pray and swear and squeal But that is just a hunch OBSERVATIONS. Dempsey Jack needs the jack Sylva had Jack other words, We knew Marguerite lost a toe, but which toe? pply of false Just thought you might Italy's run short like to know Appropriate, isn't it, that the Prince Regent of about to embark on the rimony, should be given a W. 5. Hart is the father of a new boy. If Bill wants to hold his pop ularity with the film fans he'd bet- ter go home and give the little feller @ daddy TAXICAB TESSIE. re nad sunshine tn her heart Tessie leaped on the limbur- ger cheese and tried to subdue it. It had been delivered at her furnished room in Jimtown by mistake and she felt she had been imposed upon. A win- dow was open and, after a struggle, the girl succeeded in throwing the cheese out. It landed on the head of Rev. Bilas Jonas Pettibone, the town’s most prominent preacher. It all seemed so absurd “What's this?” Dr. Pettibone had He suspicioned that @egd was in his vicinity “Cukoo, Doctor!” Tessie yelled it. She stood looking out the window smil- ing. It seemed the only way No man—not even a preacher— ean get very mad if a pretty girl is smiling at him, “Cukoo, Doctor!” Again Tessie had yelled. “Gukoo, yourself!” snapped the preacher. The cheese had almost ruined his wig and, to Japan, who is spoken. something Good Evening ! By BIDE DUDLEY OOO NOTAG LOL NO NOON) needs money, In teeth has { POEMS OF PREFERENCE | Pansy, the Pippin, who lives on th Street, is out after the raid proof pocket flask offered as the prize in this contest. Incidentally, she thinks it might be nice if she could acquire a*husband at the same time. Here's her rhyme: T want a man who will not flirt Or try to do me any dirt He must be tall and slender, too, And be a Yankee doodte doo. On Saturdays he'll have to say: “My darting, here's your sweetie's pay.” My heart will then be his alone Untess he plays the saxophone. make things worse, his wife was approaching bent on kiss- ing him a fond “Hello, Papa!” At that point Mayor Alonzo Pruett drove up in his automo- bile. “Something must he said. be wrong,” Out of the car's tonnean leaped a dark form. It was Toady Allen, the bandsome yeRg. Tessie picked up the cusptdor and hurled it at Toady. Tt struck him In the back “Cheese it!” he yelled Mayor Pruett, showing his badge, arrested Toady on a charge of suspicion of perjury But Tessie loved him (To be continued.) He’d Better Hurry. Found — A from Canada by applying at this office if he gets -Bogash, bottle of good stuff Owner may have it here before we weaken. ©.) Pantagraph PHILLIPS AS A POET. Harvey M. Phillips, Treasurer of the Times Square Theatre, attended a funeral recently, accompanied by another box office man. As they stood beside the coffin they had a little discussion about a future life. Next day Harvey wrote the following rhyme on the subject: “We stood by the body of Ernie one day, as you likely recall. 1 asked you if death wae the finish and was there no heaven at all? You answered that, in your opinion, all had our heaven right here and, that are humat funeral bier—that we liv glory reflected lik some other big tree, but as for a life in the future, there wasn't a chance it could be. Now that, my friend, set me to thinking how sad your belief must make one, for no ‘one can tell just what moment grim death may declare our life done. I'd hate to believe that my mother and loved ones, who've already gone, would never be able to meet me in some other life that might dawn. So I'll just continue believing that God and His Heav. n't nil. If you're right you never will know it; if I'm right about ih ve) ule AND NOW PERMIT US To offer you a bet that if W. G. McAdoo gets the Democratic nomination for President in 1924 he'll get it over Senator Jim Reed's dead body. HOPKINS playing Richard Ill, vented. Following 11” and ‘*Redemption.”’ Incidentally, Mr. Hopkins an nounces also that, when he Ethel Barrymore in “Rose Bernd’ at the ‘Theatre, Sept. 26, the cast will in elude Dudley Diggs, Doris Rankin. “BANCO” SEPT. 20. William Harris jr he will present Visher and Alfred Lunt featured, the Ritz Theatre, Sept MISS DRUCKER SAILING. Morria Gest is senaps fival there of the Moséow Art The atre Company main with the company as Mr. G Agpresentative until it comes America late in December BCHWARTZ'S DILEMMA, Maurice Schwartz, director of the has three new ready for decide whieb one should be used to open bis, season, He sayy he Vewtsh Art Theatre, plays all rehearsed and presentation and he cannot organization's About Plays and Players RTHUR announces A John Barrymore's return to the stage in November as Hamlet. Mr. Barrymore was contemplating ap- pearing in this role when he was but illness pre- “Hamlet” the actor will be seen again in “Richard presents Hauptman's Longacre MeKay Morris, William B. Mack, Charles Francis and announces that “Banco,"" with Lole at Rebecca Drucker to Berlin to gwait the ar- Miss Drucker will re- could choose by flipping a coin if he only had one, CURZON GETS “THE FOOL.” Frank Curzon, who made the Lon- don production of Channing Pollock's “The Sign on the Door,” has ac- anired the English rights to Mr. Pol- lock's new play, ‘The Fool," which the Selwyns will produce in New York next month ALLAN’S NOT ENGLISH. In an account of the burning of the Selwyn theatrical workshop and this newspaper lan Dinehart as “an hails storehouse yesterday, referred to English acto Allan really from the Far West, Montana, we be- lieve, and the reference bothered him . Httle, But he lost his goat entirely vhen some of his fellow commuters I., among them Donald Meek and Bob Hyman, met ain with “Ow's hold and other such at Floral Park, L. him at the Hengland, Jibes, allan?” if you don't believe it, And then Allan whistled Doodle,” thinking it was Spangled Banner GOSSIP Emunett Corrigan will succeed Wil- Monster” ton Lackaye in ‘The Sept. 18 bridesmaids in "are sporting new gowns. Sam am not English,” replied Allan, “Tam a native-born American, and just listen!"* “Yankee “The Star “Abie's Irish Harris will produce soon have been en for “Dreams a play called Vesier and May Edington Yestervay WE LEFT Jor. IN MIKE ‘S GARAGE ~ JOE HAD Syst INSTRUCTED “THe. MECHANIC As “7% WHAT HE WISHED DONE TO “The. CAR WHEN A MYSTERIOUS SHOT RANG our, STARTLING The, Two HALF our OF THEIR SHOE S m—___» ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8, Pat. Off. Joe’s Nerves Are Wrecked! ae DONCHA KNowW A BLOWOUT BY It'S ‘voIce ? — GosH —'T 1S, yen AIN'T 1T — Patt T THOUGHT Some BODY CUT Loose AT SuMP'N wih A. Gun ~ MIKE! STay HERe ! DON'T Go ouT “HERE |"! TH’ BLACK HAND GANG (S TRYIN “TO STEAL THAT 1 } CAR —~--!— STAY HERE je ~2 MY Anvice (Ss “Awe “Tat BoILee AN’ Leave. \T ON SOME CoRNER | ONE “THING SURE. You \ AIN'T GONNA LEAVE IT) DON'T Go ouT mike! e"| opr. 1922 (IN. Y. Eve. World) By/ Press Pub. Co. ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off oN Y essinl POPPER ——— / TA" WIFE AN’ TH ; a [ee eS Set Bete a Demouer SIXTEENTH ! 7 eis Gee | Me A DUBB) AFTER \ A MEAN Ni “TW GAME Te PLAYED of GOLF THIS oe iN FOUR ! ie Four WHAT: wee eet caer aie Q Hours ? eA Haw -dAw? WHADDA YA THINK “THAT & TEA AND WAST DIET IN HER “EAT-AND- KEEP-THIN” Book, BUT I WONDER IF HE'S ON THE LEVEL’ WITH ME. TLL TS SEE NOW-T GOTTA BUST IN ON HE WEDDING AN’ SAY "HERE'S AN IMPORTANT CALL FOR DOC = THAT OUGHT TO GET HIM OUT ty ALL RIGHT! “Sccre Arthur Hopkins has ap) Justus Mayer as his O'Brien will help ow Nannette Flack of " by Rudolph pointed Ed Perry in the ¢ back, - Pree agent M ton and Zella Rosell danpers, h been FOOLISHMENT. : y aaetee PUT IT IN THE ACT. jeuged for featured roles any Support e Phere was @ youl woman named % Helen Gahagan| in “Springtime of Youth TES Panne anew oc (eee ee Bae A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY 1 owe a lot of money fo my by W, A. Brady] Rehearsals will begin Monday for Black, iHinrtre Joe Pinkston, son of the Wellsville | make ‘ tae 2 The Love Child,” which will be pro » Dowlhng, author and star of | Who walked on the d rack truekn is @ song writer His} “Can't even say your sole is} 4Good Times" | duced by A. H. Weeds wid Charles | “Sully, Irene and Mary,” has signed] She wondered where she'd latest ditty is called, “He's Fatter injown, eh?" S&S Peg ounia PB epee had of Her Turry Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. " Ho? do® Bons ’s MA 1% So STINGY SHE Wood NT GIVE HIM & PENNY FOR & LOLLY PoP ¢ } 1 Just Feud Bosse Iwas Gian MY MoM WASNT A STINGY OLD i] THING LIKE WELL SHE & s El Ke | Haw -Haw Yeor ma? (ay MUsT BE SAM! TSAY! RUSH DOWN To THE » Ly \ 1 S'Pose KATINKA TELEPHONE [RFRENCH RESTAURANT: UT 35% | For Feroie LAMEBRAIN ! Katinka Made Up for Lost Time! if SAM —SHE'S A SWELL JANE. CALL HER UP AN’ TRY To TAKE HER To DINNER! IF SHE AccEPTS. TUL Foot THE BILL— HERE'S Ten DOLLARS! TM Just akixious To @ WANE i Me BY THE THROAT tt PEOPLE ARE SO DUMB THEY THINK THE WESTERN || UNION is A COWBOY MARRIAGE | BY RAY CowLe 700 W43R0 PL | WS ANGELES, ; -{ BUT poc's A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE AN’ 1 GOTTA RUN \N HERE AN’ HELP Him OUT OF THIS MESS, OH, GROOMS ARE ALL THAT WAY THE (FIRST COUPLE OF BORING ~COME ON ANY TAKE A WALK write other musical] Catch the train to Laclede. the Shubert She caught it right square in Middie Than He Is on F the | End.” Wagner. with Sidney istine Nor Blackmar, | a contract to » and Fr pieces for the Messrs yoster at her home at L. L, who signs himself