The evening world. Newspaper, August 25, 1922, Page 18

ee NWT LO INO LIOAINO LG Ie the kid that’s dependent on 5 old dranken Jake, * What hits me a punch where | - live— The small, helpless baby whose health is at stake— Who needs all the care one can give; Bdon't pity Jake as he staggers along, Unsteady from whiskey’s effect, Bet old drunken Jake is inflicting a wrong On one whose wee life may be wrecked. The dollar he puts in the bootleg- ger’s hand, For booze that the bootlegger brings, Makes Jake, of good-fellows, the vd king of the land, His praise the bunch willingly sings, But there i; a home where that dollar would be A godsend to some little elf, Who's toddling around a despair- ing wife’s knee— A kid thar can’t fight for him- self. Hve guzzled my beer with the rest of the boys, I’ve tapped the old bottle of rve, I've seen all the evils of booze— and its joys, E’en now I am far froma “dry,” , But there is a course that a fellow can take, In which common sense plays a part, I's the kid that’s dependent on old drunken Jake, | '* That wallops me square in the ! heart. OBSERVATIONS. Th is always well to serve a slice of : fled tomato on a flat cake of Ham- a Wurger steak. Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd Bertaud, who were married in an aeroplane, will @ome down to earth again soon. A noted English physician says girls need more play. However, he @oesn't mean on the piano. According to a London weather ex- gert, the world is growing warmer. Maybe, but it might be just as well to| - get that coal now !f you can. * Jack Dempsey sighs, we hear, be- @ause there are no more world’s for Rim to conquer. He forgets that he @en't count this one conquered until } Re licks Africa. TAXICAB TESSIE. Php story of « loveless marriage, a mort gage and « broken heart.) Tessie shuddered to think of the murder. Before killing the man the assassin bad bobbed his hair and this seemed so unnecessary. The pa- Pers had hinted that the murder was the outcome of a dispute over the @wnership of a beeswax mine out ‘West, dut this was merely a surmise. Tessie went to the phone. “Give me ob, ob, six oh, Green- point, party J,” sne sald. | “Number, please!" came from Cen- ‘ ‘tral. ‘Tessie hung up the receiver. “The Wrong person was murdered,” she i mused. Toady Allen, the handsome yess, had been in the kitchen frying an Good Evening ! By BIDE DUDLEY it the Howitzer Brothers’ Restaurant. say that It was the Eglinger Brothers’ je Wie ees | POEMS OF PREFERENCE a Florrie of New York—that’s the only identification mark she has so far as we know—wants a nice bus- band as her pride and joy: Having a desire also to win the olive-tinted bean bag she has written the follow- ing rhyme: ONTO T want a fellow, a veritable Sheik, Who will beat me up about once a week. J want to be spanked whenever I'm naughty; Put across his knee if I'm too haughty. Will it be too hard to find such a boy? T hope not, for he'll be my pride and joy. egg. He appeared at that juncture with both hands full of lard, “What'll I do with this?” he asked. It seemed too bad. Tae young man's hands were full of lard, but he did not know what to do with it. “Way not put it In the coffee pot?” asked Tessie, thinking of the murder. Slim Marshall, a cowboy from the Busthead Bar Z ranch, stepped through the door. He was worrled. He had his smoke-wagon in ais hand. “Shall I kill this guy?” he asked of Tessie. “Of course not!” she replied firm- ly. “Don't you see his hands are full of lard?” A bird on the window-sill cheeped; the cat “ily arose and yawned; the sun was sinking. Realizing the beauty of the scene Tessie went to the cupboard and took a big swig of apple-jack. “Now,” she sald, “I can handle tals lard question.” “Bam!” An aeroplane had fallen on the roof of the building and was simply ruining the shingles. * (To Be Continued.) The Eglingers. Our old friend Bill Sill printed in the Morning Telegraph recently an account of the visit years ago of the Weber and Fields troupe to Atcht- won, Kan. The feature of the tale was the steaks the members of the company ate at a little restaurant near the Union Depot. Mr. Sill calls Just to set him right, permit us to Restaurant and that the two brothers the Night and the Day Eglinger— are still conducting the eating place, They are both philosopaers. One day we heard a man telling Tom (the Night Eglinger) that something was all wrong. Tom agreed with him. A few minutes later another fellow told Tom the same something was all right. Again Tom agreed. We asked Tom after a while why he had agreed both ways. “Well,” he replied with a grin, “I gotto sell these sandwiches, ain't I?” POOR PHOEBE! (By a Commuter.) Miss Phoebe Snow Does often go, Arrayed in tohite. To Buffalo, But since the strike, Oh, holy Mike! A cullud girl She's looking like to inform you that we met a man on Broadway to-day who actually did not know where to get a drink, ARIE TEMPEST'S return to the American stage, last night at the Little Theatre, where fhe was seen in “A Serpent's footh,” brought her a flood of con- gratulatory telegrams. Among those who wired her were David Warfield, Douglas Fairbanks, Frances Starr, @lanche Bates, William Farnum, ' Augustus Thomas, Billie Burke, | % Crane, Norma Talmadge, F* cas Bacon, Leo Ditrichstein, John I get Mary Pickford, Henry Miller, Marj- erie Rambeau, Elsie Janis, I » Craven, William Faversham, Leno: Ulric, Julia Sanderson and William $ Hart. COLLISON’S PLANS. , Wilson Collison, Inc., announces a few producing firm to be known as Mercury Productions. Its first offer- will be a comedy b; r. Collison “Sweet Petunia,” in whic Silvernai! and Enid Markey “pe the featured players. Other acquired by this firm are: ‘Put tt Red,"" a comedy by Dion kit ays “The Window,’ ‘ama ty Mr. Collison, and a new comedy ty I G. Osborn. | Sally, and Players ROYCE ABOUT READY. Edward Royce's first production, “Orange Blossoms,’ will have its initial hearing at the Garrick The- atre, Philadelphia, Labor Day night. It will come to the Fulton Theatre here on Sept. 19 NEXT AT THE CASINO. The Messrs, Shubert will present their latest musical production, Irene and Mary," at the Casino on Monday evening, Sept. 4 4 serine’? will leave that theatre morrow night and go to Boston. The Casino will be dark for a week, FRENCH DANCER ENGAGED. Mile. Alcorn, a Paris dancer, known the war as “the Jeanne d’Arc " will come to New York to ap- pear in “The Passing Show of 1922." GOSSIP. drome will open six box y morning show Times,” beg Macdonald Wa “Hunky Dory,” is the first His comedy is to be seen at the Klaw Theatre soon KiYbourn Gordon wil! sai! Sept. 2 { aiflce Sept. 2 or of ew York for time The new'| « wc a -1 Gory JOE, wHar an etye § Teu me Te REST OF IT 4 [i Gauatra ¥'Meant ! —_MysTEeRyY QO 7») OB ETHAT WATER Looké “TEMP TIN' — Guess Tit HIRE AN OUTFIT AN’ Go In, AN' HAVE A BATH = Sinaty? ors , “RAININ’ AN We RE FoRTY MILLION Blocks FROM Home ! THIS CAR 1 starr “i 1 HEAR uu say tts J Go / PATHING : PITS “I MEAN Jus WHAT 1 SAY — 1 BUY it's LOCMED AN’ No KEY — GET MIKE To PICK IT AN' A FOOTSTEP — “| T KNOW _I'M_AN ASTRONOMY WELL — WOT Are “ou WAITIN’ FoR STUPID P NEXT THING STUDENT ! Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. oft. NEW = But KNow — WHO SocKeD you | The Evening World Comics WHAT T WANTA AND WHY —??? HAVENT X GIVEN You “TH BATHIN’ eee Ss THE BABY CARRIAGE. Bur WHERE ‘S MARY 2 Whi Pat. Off, UPSTAIRS To HOLD OPEN THe JOB You TILL YOUR CONTRACT IS UP. HANKS FOR THE NEWS. ABOUT YOUR PARTY, Miss BAB = TLL INTERVIEW SOME OF THE BOYS sw A [LONG As You CAN'T GET YOURSELF FIRED FROM THis PLACE, WHY DON'T You GO AN’ ASK THAT LADY Wor! THOSE WILL NEVER SHE OFFERED Were ? SURELY WAIT i/ Miss SCRIBE, THE ART ALS CS REPORTER JUST THE BOYS -SHE DON'T KNOW WHAT A FRESH LOT ‘THEY ARE CCOMODATE IT'S ONLY Got 3 MORE WEEKS To RUN- SHE'LL AuUL ene 1) “LONGER FOR ME ! LEFT TO cay ( DOES MRS. CRAIPFROOT) LIVE ON THIS -—— Floor, Miss ? {( YES, AND IF —— = ITS A SOB FHAT Y Y'WANT T'SEE HER | ABOUT - DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. | SHE JUST HIRED WOse CHEAP SWATES WOULDN'T GIVE AWAY ANY- THING -EVEN AN INTERVIEW!) on Noy, 1 Three sets of twins will een in oMulligan’s Follies.” a Shubert vau deville unit featuring De Haven, Nice and Joe Towle Joe Santley of “Ths Music Box Revue” 1s preparing a playlet to be presented by, radiophone, He de-]| playing the Proctor Cireult of vaude scribes it as an “ear play.”? ville theatres = Sergei Soudeihine, the Russian] 4, H. Woe Rrouan painter, Wilkarrive here to-day to re-]| suez” at A oaidas ives re join the staff of the Century Roof “Chauve-Souris” on lantic week thereatter “The Letter Writer,” a sketch by 8. Eltinge here Jay Kaufman ana City BUT ABOUT 30 MINUTES AFTER MISS SCRIBE LEFT Mary Knows Enough Foo. ! a's tH’ MYSTERY Il! 5 CaN ‘You Guess WHAT JOE WILL DO’ ABouT It ? WHAT WOULD Tou 30 = TOMORROW OUGHT -To “TAROW A BEAM OF LIGHT ON , “THE CASE « d\s ASA Wad The Laugh Was Short-Lived! KRAZY ¥RaX | ASEtor DUMBBELLS For To Days FRAK To GRAMM CAD SPRING | + 4 re Bore PEOPLE ARE SO DUMB THEY THINK A 'HOGSHEAD lis A Pic's DOME ~IT WORKED GREAT! T SHAVED OFF MY MOUSTACHE AN’ SHE NEVER. ra S : RECOGNIZED ME IN ay 1s en Ming == ke to-Be Interviewed The Boys Sure Li ‘dwin Burke Au It comes to Sept. ept. 18. » unother theatre A Peoria, The Selwyns will present “The Ex- citers,” @ new play by M the Times Square Theatre, “Sue, Dear,” A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY, mM, artin Brown will be moved preacher has just FOOLISHMENT. suid Miss Jessie Sweet, can walk —the bought a bank. Evidently he's been saving somethigg besides souls: 1 wonder “How on yu have PUT IT IN THE ACT “The hotel was so full f had to sleep on the billlard table “What did they charge you" “Sixty cents an hour,” replicd: “You hush, my dear, Ov I will run you out of here.” Herne [