The evening world. Newspaper, July 8, 1922, Page 12

Sh elemeee | | | j i | Good Evening! By BIDE DUDLEY My sister Arabella swims; Oh, she’s a bathing beauty; And in the ballroom she’s a dream, A reg'lar dancing cutie. At tennis she’s a champion, My, how her racquet swishes! But ev'ry morning sister sleeps While mother washes dishes. My sister Arabella reads The very latest fiction; She’s taking elocution too To help her voice and diction: Oh, she’s a stylish girl, all right; It's class that sister wishes, 1 guess that’s why she sleeps each day While mother washes dishes. OBSERVATIONS. A Sussex, N. J., hen thinks she ts the mother of four kittens. It's Probably the heat. The ex-Kaiser has become weather prognosticator. So far he hasn't been able to predict another reign for himself. Prohibition Commissioner Haynes says it will take twenty-five years for the United States to dry up com pletely. What we want to know I+ how long it will take the Prohibition orators to dry up. LAUGHING LENA. (The pliiloeopher of Squash, N. J., once sale ‘no 2 detective had ‘real love in heart, but he was wrong. Read (hia Ginating story of crime and a womi affections). When Laughing Lena entered the Hoskins store nobody knew her. She wore a monocile and had been eating onions. Slipping up to the storekeeper, she gave him a dig in the ribs. “I am the detective,” she whis- pered. “Gwan! Yer not!"he replied, Biggling. “If you are, tell me who kicked me?” Lena stepped to the door and looked up and down the street. ‘Turning, she strode to the pickle barrel. Mrs. Hod Barnstable, the soci- ety leader, approached her, gentlewoman,” she said, smiling. “Yes,” said Lena, disguising her voice so that it sounded very foreign. At that moment Percival Lef- fingwell, a New York man of wealth, entered the door. He was a handsome fellow and sin- gle. Stepping up to Lena, he bowed. “Aw 1 in the right place?” he asked. Lena eyed him closely, She did not know but what he was a crook. So many New York men are. His smile reassured her, however, and it was then that love entered her heart. Clearing “You are in the right place.” Mrs. Barnstable fainted. She thought Leffingwell must be the About Plays Ca W. LEDERER has re signed as an officer and director of Broadway Productions, Inc., and will produce next season solely on bis own account. His first venture will be a production of ‘The Straw berry Blonde,” « musical novelty from & foreign source, udapted by’ Harry B. and Robert B, Smith, with music by Maximilian Steiner of Vienna. Other plays proposes doing are “The Bullyhoo,”” « comedy by C. F. Nirdlinger; ‘The Scrap Heup,” a pluy by Juy Holly, and ‘“The Big Town," 4 review written by Mr, Lederer him- welf after the manner of the pieces he popularized yeurs ago when he was the tenant at the Casino. TO REWRITE FARCE. P. Dodd Ackerman, who produced Paul Potter's farce, “Under Your Hat," at a dress rehearsal at the Longacre Theatre Thursday night, in tends to have it rewritten and will re stage it in the fall. A farce must be pluyed over and over again ‘before it is right, ana Mr. Ackerman intends to have this one right. In its present form tt proved enjoyable to = housef! of invited onlookers, The Equity sup- plied the cast for this experiment. SHUBERT “VODE" NEWS. EB Thomas Beatty has engage‘ Bobby Barry and Dick Lancaster for @ Shubert unit, Eddie Nelson has signed up Virgini» Anno, an English singer, for hix “Echoes of Broadway" rev Lew Fields will have the sition in his own unit, whi “The Ritz Girl of 19 and 22." ‘Tbe Barr Twins, just from London, SATURDAY, JULY 8, 1922 ~ You Simpy DO SOMETHING about “Tat MONEY FOR Our Cate — YOU KNOW TWAS THE ONE WHO SoLD IT To THAT |) MAN AND LOOKA HERE , GETTUM — You GOTTA GET THAT DOUGH FoR MY CART MY Wife's MAKIN’ (THOT FOR ME — i'm AFRAIh T'Go HOME AT NIGHT —4- “THis 1S AN AWFUL Mess ot man! OM MR j ae GeTTUM “THATS ALe RIGHT MADAM — = DON'T WORRY = Mle Fix (7 UP SO YOUR HUSBAND with THInk V's AU HIS Fat! 1 FEEL RESPONSIBLE, x =AN' TLL Se To tT WAT You APPEAR To BE BlAme1ess L_ ~~ A LAWYER IS A LEAVE IT TO ME ~- WONDERFut “Tine Hoskins. (To Be Continued.) tc It’s Brew, She Says. Alice C. of New York writes to assure us that the smell that creeps into our boudoir each morning {8 from a brewing plant. She thinks It a shame that none of our neighbors has invited us to liquor up on home- made stuff and makes us a nice promise along this line. Oh, Alice, where art thou? POEMS OF PREFERENCE. Ethelynd T. has entered the con- test for the velvet-lined oyster open- er. She wants it to give to her mother who is very fond of oysters but always has trouble opening them gently. Ethelynd'’s rhyme follows: Now 1 prefer a handsome man, Whose heart is always true. Whose eyes are beaming love at me From pupils sweetly blue. Oh, auch a man as I describe Would set my heart agog Rut one thing more—if he loves me He's got to love my dog. Fine $m WH Fins ON JH BEACH -YESSA! \F TM GoNNA MaKe aur TH’ DAMES AW Heres A Poot" —sust ING a raat ‘ . Who'll Volunteer? Undertaker Hopper received his new auto hearse Tuesday and ts eager to try it.—Wardsville (0. News. JUST A LITTLE STORY. He was a sickly looking young Negro, possibly eighteen years old. As he sat in an east side subway train a woman with a fretting baby entered. Plenty of men occupied seats, but it was the little Negro who got up and gave the woman his place. She sat down and he took hold of 2 handle to stand a few feet away. 4 rough-looking young white man be- DAW-W-? fore whom the Negro stood frowned. > A BES “Get away from me, coon!” he said STUNG ME The Negro was surprised and did not move, Next the irritable man Oe gave hima push, At that point a bis 3 man who had been standing in the vestibule went to the Negro's side. Shoving the irritable man’s head back with a stiff push, he said: “That'll be about all for you!" “Yes, sir,” replied the other, meekly. On bis way back to the vestibuie the big man stopped before the woman with the baby. “Hello, Katie!” he said, the little feller?” “Not 80 well, John,” she replied, As he leaned over to pat the baby's head his coat blew back, displaying a Central Office star. RADIUM ITE REE = HEY True? | WHICH “BEE | } WAS IT ® T'ur JusT SMASH Hi SO HE WonT ens MIXUPS STING You AGAIN ~ $ . \ DONT Worry ABour Your STOCKINGS - Wait ON YouR KNEBs ALL You WANT TO “LAURENCE : wi SOY a (* JPN Take DIG WES. C444 STONE . ) ) DRooKivd “How's 7 a KET YouR Dow DRoP- WE CAN GET YOu ANOTHER Bewice wasseeT SEND MERRY MIXUP “Ss MARY MinUP. NY EVENING WORLD, SSRAIEAS SH AU UY Capt, 1982 (N.Y, Eve World) By Pram Pu, Gomer Couldn’t Cuss. A horse stepped on Gomer Dinkton's foot in front of the M. E. Chure3 Mon- day, Just services were beginning. Gomer was handicapped terrible.—Hep- worth (N. J.) Globe. DONT BE FOOLISH, KATINKA ~ 1 WOULDN'T LET you DO SUCH HEAVY WAS LOOKING UP WORK FoR ME ! ome —* WHAT'S ALL How Dib I KNOW von) THE YELLING AND NOW PERMIT US To inform you that a Wells- ville boy who lost two fingers in handling a big firecracker on the Fourth intends to become a shorthand writer. and Players have signed to appear in “Just for Laughs,” a Shubert unit, Stan Stanley and company have been engaged by Henry Dixon as an aided feature for his ‘Broadway Celebrities" revue, Anna Chandler, Blanche Rin, 5 ie and Charles Winninger will be starred in the unit known as “As You Were."* Cope, 1082 (IN, Y. Rive, World) By Prose Pub. Co Ken Kline —- will be but five performances a week. Monday evening, after the show at Murray's, William Collier and 100 other Fylars will give a party for THAT TINNEY CIRCUS, Arthur Hammerstein, all dressed up In his Sunday clothes, will lead the Frank Tinney Circus parade at Long Beach to-morrow, Mr, Ham- nerstein will bow to his friends along the line in response to the cheers, The circus will be held to-morrow nfght for the benefit of a hospital propo- sition. Fred Stone, Gilda Grey, Will Rogers and the Kelth Roys’ Band will participate. Mr, Tinney will be ring- master, animal trainer and other things like that. It 1s expected Long Beach will give up the long green, GOSSIP, George Broadhurst has engaged Douglas Wood tor “Wild Oats coe Lou Tellegen will be at the Palace next week In a sketch called “Blind Love." “The Cat and the Canary” will reach tts 175th performance at the National to-night. Glen Anders, recently of Dem!-Virgin,” is to play the Preser Circuit in a new sketch, “The Lageer| Writer.” Jacques Plerre has engaged William Nurress, Lew Kelly and George Bar- num for Julian Eltinge's company in "The Vanishing Lady, During the three weeks’ run of play- lets at the Threshold Playhouse there 4 Tyler Brooks. The way to do “That Flapper Dance” will be explained by a good- looking bunch of girls in “Sue, Dear,” when that musical comedy opens at the Times Square Theatre Monday night. Frank Reicher, as the bank cashier tn “Morn to’ Midnight."* Is using Ger- man marks as “prop” money. Each night he embezzles an armful or so, A preliminary in the “Select Your Dance” contest will be held at the Terrace Garden Dance Palace to- morrow afternoon, Others will be held Tuesday and Thursday evenings. A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. The troubles you anticipate seldon) materialize with the force you ple tured would be behind them. FOOLISHMENT. There was a youny man from Cabool, Who tickled the heel of a mule, The mule kicked with vim, Teaching something to him They never had taught him in sehool, PUT IT IN THE acT. “Where do you get that humor? “From my sixth se “What sense is that Nonsense." ~—B. D. (ad It’s a Snappy Serial Story Featuring “B A B” An Up-to-Date “Flapper” Who'll Keep You Laughing and Guessing Begins on this Page Monday, July 10 PROOF POSITIVE. ‘HERE recently entered the office of uw railway claim agent an old darkey who presented a request for compensation for the alleged loss of 4 mule, which was said to have been killed by one of the trains. “You are sure,” remarked the agent, after hearing the story, “that it was our Atlanta express that killed your mule? Why are you so positive on that point?" | “Why, boss," sald the Negro, as if surprised at the question, ‘dat mule done licked every other train on yo roud !'"—Harper’s Mugazine. ———_— HIBERNIAN HYPERBOLE. N one of our New Englund summer resorts lives, during the summer. a family having four small ehil- dren of assorted sizes, and severai dogs. In the employ of the househoi’ is an irish maid whose duties include keeping the living rooms of the house in order, Eurly in the season the streets of the village are treated to 4 coat of tar & proceeding attended hy much track- ing ubout of the sticky concoction by the childrea and the dog. Nora's dis tress of mind after one of these ex- periences is great, for she is a clean- ly soul who has the appearance of her jomain much at heart. When the untidiness was at its worst one day she went in seargh of her mistress and complained “IT give you me wor-rd, Mrs, Brow, that for ivery wanst the boys ued thim dogs has gone out of this house this day, they've come lr twrinty tim, times!"'—Harper’s Magazine, t pie des, \ REAL GRATITUDE. F°.. some time Mrs. Carraway hae been endeavoring to instil tate the heart of her Noungs#y Tommy, aged ten, the sentiment o4 generosity, which, tt seemed to her, was not naturally present. In this relation she had been especially caro- ful to commend to Tommy's consid- eration the son of a poor family in the neiglborhood, One day Tommy came home radi ant. “Well,"’ he said to his mother, ‘) gave that poor boy half of the box of candy you bought for me," The mother also beamed. ‘You are a dear little man," she said. ‘Wa the poor boy grateful?" ib “Yes, ma‘am," said Tommy; “ty was grateful, all right, He 1 round to the school yard and let r lick him where everybody was loo’ ing on.''—Harper's Magazine, ‘ ent