The evening world. Newspaper, May 18, 1921, Page 25

More Adventures O¥+ wens pod ae Stor in film version By Courtesyof Stanton&VanVlietCo. Covrrtahte by Joseph B. Howler, 1904, 1905, 900: bs Thomson and Thowea, VOT. 1008; by W.'G. Chapman. 1008, The Bad Boy Writes the Old Groceryman About’ Ocean Voyages BOARD THE L INIA, MID- OCE Dear Old Gee Fes his travels abroad feaving New York to write you, bunch of ‘roses ‘cause the bout, after three days out, en and was has got settled down go it runs le aver atiy te end I can write without wrapping my but, Sees around the table legs to hold me | When th own, I have tried a dozen times to Ard. (he po write, but the sea was so rough that. and dad saw part of the time the table was on top @f me and part of the time I was on IK ben voyage. top, and I was so sick I seem to have started in to make be true to the what seasickne " se ye ole At seasickness is, ‘cause you told Wherever vortane Me once about crossing Lake Michi- and €an on a peach be but lake sick- Sv far away they ¢ hess is easy compared with the ocean “M4 then lie cam: Smads. said: “Henge I could enjoy common seasickness father on the eve to ret suit water sickness takes the cake, . lasting lesson t because he holds you that the est I do, and he is so slow am held by our pe @bout giving up meals that he has pone to you, and y aid for that | q onger to le. th sour paid for that it takes him longer to and dad sald commune with nature, and he groans ¢ it Was fu o and swears some. I don't see how @ person can swear when he is sea- for of inte that he will ever see land again and @ good prospect of going to the bot- emoked halibut waiting around for Bis sh of your corps whales lowing syphons of water and kick- pei ing because they are so big that they : ean't get at you to chew cuds of Buman gum, and porpoises combing your damp hair with their fine tooth comb fins, and swordfish and saw- Wis iy tooth 1 carpenters sawing “Ol, why don't t mule before She w Gee, but it makes me erawl! A man told me that if you smoke cigarcts driver and get fish will smell of you and turn up the their noses and go away and leave Week your remains, so I tried @ cigat- Miss Doolittle ette, and, gosh! but 1 had rather was a man she be et by fish than smoke another on Spiving asking her an ocean mer, It only added to fairs. W ness, und T had enoush be- pet a hen I went to bed, but 1 ex- her, and yet ted some of the crew would stab aiong the lin me before morning. [ prayed some “Op, you shut when the toat stood on its head and ghe had finally d piled us all up in the front end, but pty ° ated with nickoteen, ick Me on the place Where “Ding, ding! nmons hit Corbett and Ked ‘The ear 1 ut of me, and when the the niu dout stood on her butt end and well Did some on slid’ back the whole length of the cabin, it rock we run 4nd [ Wrought up under the plano, 1 the driver tried to sing a hymn, such as lused Miss Doolittle: a to in the 'Pscopul choir before my —— Voie inged, but the passengers eve alive yelled for to choke me, and t didn't s auore Dad was in the staterc rolling back and we and betwee came out to eate 1 1 1 rolling habit, t match wit her and was perl! man |wi took dad by t aust keep his othe so put on beside had, and they v # sofa, and how tt came next morning dad's eve was blacked and the fellow wh he wus her husband hid bis teeth knock ‘ and the them d had to thy God am a jeal THE EVENING WORLD, WEDNESDAY, MAY 18, 1921. ranenea ; CARD [LL |) FIND Our / IF THEY ARE | oO THE Door ( resentative of his beloved country in He LUOR and that he would tal friends, and dad thourht I take the first opportunity since all for him,and he reached { jerked away from him gangplank wa undkerchiefs and laughing a best my mind, over the rail, with the ing his fellow countrymen for ) IF THEYARE \ Goon IDeA ! HERE THEY Lb PICK IT UP. well J Hine WE CAVE © GONE} LETS Ger AWAY FROM x \THE™, MUST Be HOME — (LETS KEEP i aN RING SINGS THEN | WENT TO BED, BUT | EXPECTED SOME OF THE CREW WOULD STAB ME BEFORE MORNING. other things supposed to be inside of ing to see him off s me. O, old man, you think you know them that he would prove g when the Promptu — dethonstr and think it was a picnic, but this from his mative land, vught to ; \\ WHAT | MOVED THE » CARD sick on the ocean, with no sure thing READ To. maanew s By Sophi > Loeb Your Wife’s Advice © PG ISIIIS ALLEN ES MAL you must not ur Daddy ¢ an old crank, sister's. child, could he But getting bach to pulileness Do You Know— THE TEN COMMAND niquity of the fat dren un the thi to a si n dance tration of them ¢ with dad is tha t thinks And showing mer the think in them that ve crowd fb anetr on for commandr him, W ° umer lett New 3 ‘thou shalt no York there were hundreds of people sa on the dock to see friends off, and the Lord thy Gad amateurs in nearby territory is they had flowers to present to the Lord will not hold bim guiltless th vw R AND NOW HERE'S THE RADIO NURSEMAID been # ted t and the Schen hs porambulat ur teleph My rece — = The Pree Pubilaking Co. (The New York Brening World). reproduced RY AND GET IT * BY NEAL R. OHARA « You Can Get Your Money Back on a Porous P!a-!>: or a Liver Pad, but—Well, Read and Weep---or, if You've Wept, Read and Smile! COMmTIEN, 1921, By ‘The Presa Mubitel Co, (The New York Brening Wort: ID you ever desire your money back on an article guaranteed by ighteen adjectives? Try and get it! Did you ever file a claim against the parcel post or your favorite express company? Try aud get it! Did you ever want your nicke! back from a pay station out of order? ‘Try and get that, too. ake the pink label on Aunt Lucy's Cough Cure: “Satisfaction guaran- teed or your money cheerfully re- funded.” You tear off the following petition: “Dear Aunt Lucy—After trying six bottles of your cough cure I have improved sufficiently to have pneumonia, Will you send me back the money you so cheerfully refund By return mail: “Dear Mr. Dumb- Bell--If you will fill out the en- closed questionnaire and have it sub- seribed to by a fancy-priced notary, we will refund your money not only cheerfully, but gracefully, Hoping your penumonia is getting along well, bell LUCY. The questionnaire: “On what dates e me, lovingly yours, AUNT did you purchase our cough cure from your druggist?...-,.Have you ever been arrested?....Why not?.+. DID YOU EVER WANT YOUR Who discovered the South Pole?..... NICKEL BACK FROM A PAY Name thirty-five citizens who can STATION OUT OF ORDER? : oharacter....+. Is Meta he bch cm You said it. Fill out Form 186165, giving your name, address and pre sss++ vious condition of servitude, Mail to Which trade had he better stick to? the Postmaster General—and you'd “Are you church member?..... better have it insured. Now wait tiaw eBttart two years. Then fill out Form 186165-B, taking care to use the same number of semi-colons as there were under false pretenses, if you do?---- jn Form 186165. Mail this to the Thomas Edison more famous as an electrician or an educator .Do you fully realize the heinousness of obtaining money Name Dante's six best sellers.-.-+- Postmaster General, taking care not .° Who controls the Island of Guam? to insure it this time, You now have nothing to worry about except get- ting your money back Seventh inning, Did you ever have photograph together with (c) YOUr 4 package granulated In transmission Bertillon measurements. (d) You py the express company's jugglers? Will then get your money back. (e) All you do {s file a claim with the Maybe. company claim agent. That is what hy return mail: “Dear Mr, Dumb- ho ts for—to file claims with. But as Beil—Our board of directors, In con- for paying ‘em—ah, well, this ts vention assembled, finds your case lovely spring weather we're having. hardly worthy of recognition. By @ Remember, Rome wasn't built in a vote of § to % however, the board day, That's a claim agent's motto, voted to recommend to you Aunt and he'll stick to it. Ella's Pneumonia Specific. atisfac- Epilogue. Scene — ‘Telephons tion guaranteed or your money booth, ‘Time—Plenty of it Cus- cheerfully refunded, Love, ete., THE tomer reads: “Before trying to get Lucy co." Central drop a nickel in the logical Chapter Hl. Ever have an insured #10t." Drops nickel in slot indicated . cont lost in the Asbestos curtain ts lowered to In- ietlath hls nda interesting! dicate lapse of weeks, days hours mais? Hat Sunt and minutes—many of ‘em, Still no answer—very stil. Central Is asleep Are you sure it’s an island? (a) Sign here and (b) affix a good mands phone company give him back «but | would 4/8 nickel on a reverse charge. Com- °* ars! pany promises to do so, with reverse. ish Po had,” Racy, English. Company also promises to Sood thing if women do tmprove service for coin box cus- Jvantnge in law. They Set tomers, Hereafter, when you drop a ey ee ead Mr. lckel In the slot the receiver will at of it wl! render “Good Bye Forever.” no use - HAT $3.9 Pres Publishing Ox "New York ‘Breniaa World) { the figures around od Mr, durr, “for here I've QUESTIONS. 1 fifty-one dollars when 1, Where is Lake Titicaca? A titteunt’* 2. What are the groups into which Ve il right" aad MN) aftronomers have divided the fixed if you stare called? from 3. What was the full name of Gate much? fing, inventor of the Gatling gun? 4, Who was the author of “Treas+ ure Island?” you “i have 6, What is the State flower of to pay eians called? meting ext’ 6 What is the State ffower of Florida? 7. Into what body of water does the River Jordan *mpty? 8. What is a Russian peasant called? 9. What historic fortress is at Old Point Comfort, Va 10, What old name was once given +, to the letter “2?” 1 fifty ANSWERS, 1, Itober 5, Norsemen; 6 THE KH RR I FAMILY~ Hae ce, oy hil stop spending all the money cnt then — won't have to said Mrs, Jarre. “Any- 1 mistake In that bill ty, owed Dunning & cogent GETTING A LINE ON HIM. LAs fn Nd . tS Styles 1 have been down to flow » wt ‘ , ve didn't 4 re n, « asked if 1 had 1 t } your back and headache? nt Well tat in thunder, then, did he s BK Oey 4 Yonkers Stateama { Me Garde wat SUPERFUL OUS HAIR i 1) would 4 rent hy be by the patnlens —_— errr DC ee