The evening world. Newspaper, January 22, 1921, Page 11

Hey, Congress! Housewives _ Are Hot on Your Trail! THEY DEMAND EIGHT-HOUR DAY From Their “Headquarters by the Cookstove and the Cradle, With the Wash. tub Nearby,” They Pro- mulgate Stirring Appeal. By Margu Copyrient HAT with the short skirt, the W 1931, by The Press Publishing Co, erite Dean, (The New York Bvening World.) crime wave, the unemployment prob- lem and one thing and another, some of us were in danger of for- getting that this country must be put on an eight-hour basis. Not long ago, to be sure, Thomas Al never would be put on it And the Pennsylvania Railroad has just of- fered its emplo: a five-di week, which most of them are accepting, but with somevhin ess than wild applause. They merely decided that the arrangement is preterable to a Ro-day working week for 20 per cent. of their number. ‘The eight-hour day, however, @till a living issue. In proof of whi The Evening World has just rece! @ somewhat amazing document. The top of the first neatly printed page is inscribed as follows: HEADQUARTERS by the COOKSTOVE AND THE CRADLE. vit with THE WASH-TUB The document is signed “Wives and Mothers of Induatris Workers — Americans First.” “Wives and Mothers" apologize Rot putting down their names; “the reasons for this omission,” they point out, in a postscript—feminine foiblet —"will be self-evident to all familiar with the inside workings of industrial e@rganization. We fear a visit from an ‘Entertainment Committee.’ In the form of a conventional credo. the document submits twenty-nine “pellefa" to the attention of Congress, having made in the opening para- graph the somewhat rash assumption that “legislative heads should be used for eome other purpose than to sup- is ch port hats “We believe that Congress 8) order that in these | : children shall netther require nor r ceive care, feeding or nursing, more than eight out of every twenty-four hours: “We believe that Congress should order that in these United Statea, wives shall not perform housework of any character for a period exceed ing forty-four hours in any one week, "We believe Congress should order that, in these United tes, births That’ occur on public holidays, legal holidays or Jewish holidays should be strictly according to wnlon ries Le, twins during the first eight tours and triplets after eight he “We believe that Con 5 should order that, in these United States, births should occur only during the daylight hours, A “We Nelieve that Congress should realize that our w arners are too much under our hamper ,our housework | = teet, and have too much idle time. “We believe that Coni that we canno bear children, raise tamilles, homes, purchase household plies, do housework on any vight- see day or forty-four-hour week ress should simply realize cannot, fe Congress should realiz r work day and work week of indus t consistently jit with the sixteen-hour work day the one - hundred - and - twelve - Work Week of the average housew! "We believe Congress should 1 ize that legislation should be less and less yn favor of tho industria worker and more and more to alley wie and improve the condition of the overworked, underpaid, dish-wash ing housewife." : ‘Truly, the worm-whose-place-is- in-the-home not only has turned, Yut is standing up on ead and doing ® fox-trot over the prostrate forms of the rest of us! If one of dhe resulta of the fret year of na nal Woman Suffrage, what does future not hold for poor, dear nt And even if this start ' 4s not the war-cry vod woman) s my Nand on my heart Tthink if seven if it) wa hy mewbat heavy-}i 4 satiriet With a purse long enough to pay printing bills--the point is well taken that the Worst sweated trade on earth in that of the wife and m $1 the home of the laboring man who is never tired of asking for more pay and less work for HIM SELF. Wn does work the sixteen va Edison rose to remark that he dressing, the preparing of food, the Supervision of naps and outings, the answering of innumerable questions, all the trillion details of caring for the most helpless objects on earth— immature human beings, And If, af- ter ian evening devoted to the endless Mending and making of small gar- ments, this woman can turn out the at 10 P.M. she is lucky, and the end of her perfect sixteen-hour day has come. A litle over a year ago, when life was just one strike after another, a correspondent of The Byening World Suggested the formation of a Wives’ Union, Local No. 1, and another wom. an, in @ mood of desperation, sug- sested that a mothers’ strike ‘might be 4 good thing. Wifehood and Motherhood must re- main an unorganized industry, if only out of consideration for the “inhowent publte’—composed, in this nstance, of innocent children, This vbvieus fact is given satirical em- phasis in the “beliefs” ostensibly drawn up by the “Wives and Mothers of Industrial Workers,"* Nevertheless, while society is right- @ the labor wrongs of American era, 1 think these fathers might Just consider the possibility of giv- \og to American mothers ‘such ele- y justice as a fair working day, a financial return not limited to board and clothes, an annual vaca- ton and at least one afternoon off 4 week. Then motherhood would bo sn occupation somewhat less ox ploited than at present —— M-AXIMS OF” A MODERN MAID ARGUERITE MOOERS MARS/ALL HEN a man says that he en- joys a woman to whom he can talk “sensibly,” he means that he likes a victim who Will listen like a charmed bind while he makes a stump speech on poli- ties, golf, business, the Bolshevik movement, or women as jurors, The modern evening gown may be, as some assert, a menace to mo- rality, but at least, unlike its ances- tors, it Is never an incentive to pro- fanity—since no man can be asked to button it up the back! The unkindest cut of all im that which a devoted bride &ives the loyal old friehd of whom her husband al- ways has been the least bit jealous. AS every Freud fan knows, the easiest way of not calling a sex spade by its name is to call it a complex Every man } ves @ woman's faith in his rity Will be bound- less, if he just looks deeply into her eyes and murmurs, “Of course I've never talked to any woman like this, but you"—pause—“UNDERSTAND!" Now that woman's dress has been vote] “inore modest and sane than it ever s."" fashion doubtless will try to bring back the tong skirt and choker collat next season One's secret rejoicings over the misfortunes of a friend—-first noted by La Rochefoueauld--are so often saddened by news of the success of * another friend! When a man truth and: she tells his wife doesn't believe it the he NOBoDY USES THIS / - MY DEAR: Skating T ee & The ols Copynian with bas, [ suppose, inspired t) A Th pow {1 by the Pree Py Now Work Lei My Dear: Jack Frost having h i 1 ty na wome have ¢ dress more serious will note some smart skat ean console himself by remembering — | thinit the most " past Hes with which he did get away. t have seen at a ri are few m Widows, like pira sall unde eye a) Gurk: heiced miners ga uspond the law lenag in ie H war. belt marking the th wis “WESLEY Barney AY Te wares. W_ALTISON Sn6* PANG) td at ive SOMEBODY, HERE ONCE) Ji — ERE IS ) A VERY (ax Betsy lhe ce S ——S Attent THAT \ BELONGS) 64, TO TRS Bitt Cet. ral LOANED j \ A} | ees L VLUTAKE IT | WON'T HAVE To RETURNIT | LOANED (r To ARs BILL ogs Are ion of Sport Occupying ne Enthusiasts What Color Socks Will You Wear? Tassels Are Spreading Their Dominion ; mats he ng ite (ire much of It a arf 1 ay sweate o t : Iw Bay AWeALER 19 J 010 one could attach @ frame part 4 i ting atid mien ut ba eons vy round wire, with kes New York ©" Ve n ) Fam of Shanter wire, then cover with retty thie: iweok rance. A patterned Jace, and tf desired aew thetic recently had its Sparkding beads here and there over ! ‘ ie such fabme ae the #urface or in a olowe line around inclined of Lit was covered {he edge. MILDRED LODEWICK toward as 2 ft sweater eS = n winter won Siting y te 1 meet ae Eon hi ah eet ty the Pree 4 oe Fe Ls - bet rm (The New York Preotog ’ : eS eleeg amr lagi teat ‘cs HY. look at thin!” remake! - Mae ne he ith who a Mra, Jarre she pointed iM 48 Sia fa We Ww to an urticle in the newa- Ronen , tf Rati loty japer she wan reading, "The Stewart ven taken 4 ther if the proper spirit ia Stonghams are divorced!" tter of : ntalned “Poor olf Stew! sald Mr. Jarr, » WE ity itis a tues i onnace fret rmal to Alwaym in one or with one But r mae irene, 1 wally , 4 he and his wife remarry, f thought A : Se they worn divorced two yeara ago?" vie 4 . i \ sie ‘Oh, that was not from ow other,” J which mirht explained Mra. Jarre" “He got ad f ent ERC’ voree from bis first wit), who bad ad \ ; (ight been divorced rom her first husband fie, W \ sort on who divorced his fiost wife to marry DOSTIN BARN Ane Fiveras’ corvman ineaswean snmsuercns | Movie ‘Stars at Play Prove They Also. Shine at 1-Making Fur “TAR, JARR FAMILY > WHS cook Just Because the Police Are Omitted From the Phohe Book Is No Reason Their Best Customers Should Be Locked Out of the ‘Who's Who” Index —So Here Are the ‘‘ Missing Links.” Coprriatt. 921, by The Pres Publishing Ca (The Now York Preuing World) AME is transitory, as the guy said when the cops overlooked ‘hil F fingerprints, To-day you're known from coast to coast. “Te! morrow only the credit men are wise to you. Sic semper 'yrannis—and the same thing goes for display type, Some chaps are born great, some achieve greatness and some are invited to join the Elks, Those are the three brands of greatness. All other candidates for fame are exempt from flat feet, flat heads or some other good, insufficient reason. But even some of the greatest guys can't place their classtfied ads, in “Who's Who.” It may be due to the paper shortage, but a lok of stalwart names are missing, Which is an outrage. Just because the police are omitted from the telephone book {s no reason their best customers should be locked out of the “Who's Who" index. It is only in the interests of justice we run these omitted names, And, having run them, let justice take its course! Gentlemen, the missing links in the plot of “Who's Who": . ELI MINK—Born in Bear Guleh, Okla, April 1, 1860. Educated at Tulsa Dancing Academy, Yale, Leavenworth and Canfield’s, In vented the five-ace poker deck, the bull'’seye cuspidor and the carbolid acid chaser, Clubs—Blackjack, Lead Pipe, Sandbag and Saturday’ Night Hoyle Associates. SNEDLEY FRIPP—Born tn Toothbrush County, Ark., on Ladies! Night, 1892, Author of “Dull Finished Finger Nails I Have Mani. cured;" “Perfume: Its Meaning and Mission in Life,” and “Confes, sions of a Cream Puff Hater.” Educated at home, the Dressmakers’ Institute of Arkansas and the Chorus Men's School of Design and Frolic, Clubs—Huyler’s, Mary Elizabeth and W. C. T. U. ‘ JAMES J. GRABB—Born on the Arctic Ocean, Feb. 6, 1875. Baw cated at the Kalamazoo Reform School, Governor's Island Military Academy and Atlanta Federal College. Director of the Perhaps Oil Corporation, the Seldom Gold Mining Company, the International Counterfeiting Corporation and the Shearing Company, Unlimited, Official career—Pardoned by the Governor in 1916. Clubs—Ban® Messengers’ Walking Club, the Fingerprint Assoctates and the Tappa Sucker Dry Fraternity. 7 s LUCIUS LUSH—Born In Kentucky. Attended night school, 7 P.M. to 4 A. M, Admitted to the bar 1899, Admitted to family. entrance 1803. Disbarred 1909 and thrown out of the family entrance, same year. Invented the triplicate prescription, the gallon hip pocket and the artificial snakebite. Served in Governor's Council, 1909-11. Served anywhere after that, Clubs—Soda, Canadian, Lamb and Stews Honorary degrees—D.T., A.W.O.L., X.X.X., Litt. Up and 0.F.C. NELLIR SWINK—Born Jan. 4, year optional. Educated at Squibbs’s Quick Lunch, Mra, Grimble's Boarding House, the Cafeteria Schoo! of Self-Help and the Vassar Cleaning and Pressing Shop. Posed for such celebrated pictures as “Before and After Using Bink’s Tonic for Torpid Livers,” ‘The Daisy Garter Girl” and “One of Our Satis- fied Customers for Dandruff Cure.” Author of “How I Made $6 a Week Selling Aluminum in My Spare Time,” “Why I Wouldn't Be Without Beevo Hair Nets” and “How Spifferino Cured My Husband of Beating Me.” Clubs—Larkin Soap and the Qut-Rate Theatre Ticket Social Circle, DANIEL X. BLAH—Born, undoubtedly. schools and public dumps. Nominated as public nuisance 1908 and elected the same year, Has been in office consecutively since, Ram for Congress 1912-14-16-18-20, Will run in 1922-24-26 and so on, In. chisive. Ortginator of the eight-hour speech, the convertible anecdote and the Fourth of July oration, Author of “Why My Friends Insist ‘That I Should Run for This Office," now im {ta seventh edition, Translated the universal chop suey menu, 1915, and the Sears-Roe- buck catalogue, 1918. Honorary degrees—A.B, C.D. ELF. GH Cluds-—Indlun. Edueated in the pubtie BY Roy ly — CY CaRDELy friends, don't assem :to hor. Then he went buck to his first Witness our stay cured.” who lind gota divorce from ber ond Rupnnid’ G ew he: “It is all part of the social unres gasory 1 husband and married F the word Ie going througt,” saad aire “Gee, jt has my head in a whirl!” Jarre, exclaimed Mr Jarr. “It would take an auditor to keep cases on the all- mony. But how about the second wife old Stew married? Was she a marital merry-xo-rounder, too" “Lehould say she was? “Well, here ts one couple, you and 1, that are not stirred by the @ocial up- mat. You soem @ happy and con- tented wife," observed Mr, Jarr, “Don't be too eure of that and pre replied Mrs, sume upon it!" said Mrs. Jarr coldly Jarr. “Khe divorced her frat hus And while Mr, Jarr was taking the band to marry Stewart Stoneham, count, she asked him for thirty dollars ind the paper says the case haa many ahe needed to pay her dresemake slemenia of divorce, becduas—now and got it before he had recovered ni divorce from hit poise im time to bold on to bis will now memey, ried Stewart Some men and their money are wife after Stewart parted ne easily as some men and their wives ™ asked the duaed i oneham's first wife,’ re ont GOING DOWN! "mal Moe FAR READER: The “als RLomares Bake other day 1 went into a ( Thuericd nan’ offiee and found KOT Wer divorce, and now bin him doubled up in his chair HI iuirry the divorced hus He told me that he had eaten ihe cate I acaba two sraliops that were BAT). 1 declare it's got 1 asked him what he w ( f mayed in his oftice Wh i ha nam Always NY ALWA SMITH. ae cee we erm ns + enn