The evening world. Newspaper, February 14, 1920, Page 9

Rn | \@ Comic Valentines Our Ancestors Sent Were Far More Deadly Than Those Received To-Day. Covrtte , 1990, by The Press Publishing Co. (The New York Evening World # HE comic valentine t8-day is under « cloud. A few domypnratively mild and tame specimens may be sent and received on this four- teenth of February, but there ‘s not the spicy “pep,” the salty sting of other times. In Civil War days, for example, and even as late as twenty years ago, the new woman, the military slacker, the boy in uniform’ and the man for whom war wis simply a chance to get rich quickly, were | pierced, on Valentine's Day, with satiric shafts far sharper than the darts . of Cupid. Cruel pictures accompanied the rhymed recriminations, and the :! result must have been anything but flattering’ to the feelings of the { recipient, Believing that re are just as} many persons alive to-day who DE- | SBRVL comic valentines and just as; many who would take the sweet and} qecret revenge of sending comic val- eatines, The Evening World reprints | 4 quartet of the pictorial assaults | committed in the name of good St. grammar, but the kick is all there and all jn the beer, too! ‘To the doughboy, whose family and fiancee ulways think of him as a hero, either a mischievous little sister or the girl he left behind him might to-day send the gently joshing sketch pub. lished with this article, which depicts him looking boldly into the cannon's Valentine when joking was, 4 bit/ Mouth. And not a word is or need bo More rough than in the super-con- | hanged in the sixty-year-old mhyme: Pa THE MILITARY HERO. The nt, gory son of | love you ‘ If you want me, the Stripes and Stars jefend, and then go in and win. The slacker should be first on the list to receivé a comic valentine, Our ancestors drew him, long hair and all if you know him, ‘send him his pje- | ture to-day, and these lines: | THE SLACKER. |Your horn-rimmed glasses, flowing ", | fools in times of peaca; afraid to 0 | Shut off your talk And cease! In Civil War da: " ~ >. tractor received a particntariy” vitrk olic valentine, and, of course, his modern descendant, the profitec:, should not be neglected to-day. His | picture is printed in this article, and | the poetry of the past needed but lit- \ tle revamping: | MAbrate society of the present. With | the pictures, which are practically | Wadanged, The Evening World also | prints rhymes—“posies,” in the good oa. Valentine formula—which have brought up to date just slightly, though the sense and sentiment re- unaltered. YEake, for example, the picture| peta of the new woman. Even} tit feminist female herself must ad- myt that the artist of 1897 who thus pattured her charms had-a prophetic With a ballot in her hand, a -o’-shanter on her head, a cigar- otte. weaving smoke rings, and the atest Parisian thing in skirts, the editors of Life would have not the slightest difficulty in recognizing the perfect product of the Foderal Suf- frage Amendment. And here is her THE PROFITEER. stanse, in the revised edition of 1920:/ For whiskey you sell wood acieil THE NEW WOMAN. toddy, A jokeamith twenty years ago jAnd pasteboard shoes and overcoats you would be this holy show! |)... shoddy. kitts, bobbed ‘hair and. cig: | {t's not after glory that you pant— Artrevtis It's only the dollars and cents you , You’ see, he didn’t miss a bet!, fo awaits | Every male manifestation of the! 4,8 Be Tone Ute sieeting where you 4 * military epirit was satirized aptly on| ™<** Wil do the most good! The J i { e Jarr Family j By Roy L. McCardell Coprrishy 920, Uy The ress Mubiishing Co. (ius New York Evening World.) ‘ Geren Extra! Death of John Barleycorn Followed : by a Crisis in Kisses and Smoking! > R. JARR was just about to take things were on my mind.” e his car, or, rather, the street] “Important things?" queried Mrs. j railway recelver’s eas, down-| Jarr, as though astonished. j town, when he stopped short. He re-| | “Nothing as important ag kissing f membered he had forgotten some-|¥OU svo@by, of course,” he hurried to thing VRY important. Just what it] fice, tos ‘euunoe, I formok othes was he bNd forgotten and remem-| cigars wit me. While 1 have some i bered he had forgotten he could not|4n that box there's nu use of my buy- } recollect at frst. ‘Then, as he men-|'PES2Y downtown” = o tally reviewed the incidents of bis|the mantelpitee, opened it and put departure from home, it occurred to Pad aah ire eoeere Pwo aee oats : him that he had forgotten to kiss | lly 4 | the Valentine Days o? the Civil War] Mrs, Jarr goodby, ma” set oe lant be Seas “put Yeried and immediately after He remembered now that Mrs.| that's alway the way. A woman | Que valentine which has come down! Jarr’s parting Jook had been most|Sives her whgle life to the nfan she te we—and which is NOT reproduced| searching. She had remembered he Bumvieel Ae een oe ora ne im The Evening World, because it is| had forgotten and she was not likely | he does for an old rag or an old broom tbo eadly reminiscent of the Yays that| to furget it either. on an CIE Al pit E aon Roe ited bie sri at Shale gle So Mr. Jarr hastened back. fe eGiation. “At least, he doesn't topping up a mammoth seidel, waich| ““!t seemed so’ strange to be getting { . |away to the office in plenty of time and not having to rush for it,” he | started to explain to Mrs, Jarr on re- 2 |entering the house, “that in the ex- citement I forgot to kiss you goodby.” “So I, noticed,” said Mrs, Jarr, coldly. [ Played love—-and “Why didn’t you remind me of it?” \@ ked Mr, Jarr. “Why didn’t you gay, | ‘Haven't you forgotten something? or Aren't you going to Kiss me?” “IL hope I haye more pride than that,” said Mrs. Jarr, teily. “If you regard my kisses lightly, or if the fact that you are up a little earlier makes you forget them so easily I'm sure I'm not going to re- mind you." A Part at Kissin; “But don't you see, my dear,” said Mr. Jarr, “I remembered it when I was down the street and came back. I wouldn't have had to come back if 80 @an't cost him a penny over five! only you had reminded me.” cents, And epnveyed to him in verse: A RECRUITING OFFICER, Gentility, neatness and courage In a warrior | hold to be dear, this 1s the gentle hint “If it is a matter of so much re- “gret to you that you came back, I'm sure it's no compliment that you did return,” remarked Mrs. Jarr, 80 below Byt a uniform don’t make the soldier, | ro: " Ner a coward get courage from beer, “I've been remiss, I know,” Mr. Jarr hors way be something lacking in perseyered, “but @ lot of important Valentine v ¢s New Ye Co, orld.) care for her as much as he does for an old cigar. For he will come back for a cigar, but he will w right past his wife without giving her a thought, without saying goodby!" The Cigars Do Not Draw. 1 came pack, you see, I came explained the flustered Mr. Jarr, “And that’s just what I have been saying: If you remembered I hadn't kissed you by, why didn't you call me back “Ld never do tbat!" sobbed Mrs. Jarr into her handkerchief. “Never! “Oh, well, I am sorry,” said Mr Jarr. “I knew you'd feel bad about it, and ax I had plenty of time, I rushed back." “Kor tho old cigars!” sniffed Mrs. Jarr. “Not at all, not at all!” replied Mr. Jarr heartily. And he crushed her to his husbandly bosom--then a throb of aniuish knit his brow. “Holy John Barleycorn and Lady Nicotine he cried. “Now I've busted my las cigars—and they were Tony Kelly's forty centers!" The next thing he knew he felt himeelf thrust out in the hallway and the door slammed on him. For Mrs, Jarr remembered, as Kip- ling said, A woman jg only a woman, but a good cigar costs forty cent these days!"—or something like tha the brut “Bu back,’ ' A Modern Maid’s Valentine By Marguerite Mooers Marshall Copyright, 1920, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New ‘York Evening World) © ALL the Nice Men with whom I have laughed, called it a day! — When the bubbling wine of Romance is quaffed I throw the used Cups away! — To the very first Man that Made me Cry; (I wonder—what WAS his name?) The Soulful Cynic, with verdigris eye, The Heroes of football fame; To the Dancing Man, the Man with a Car, The Pride of the Shore Resort; To The Corsican, who talked of his Star—- Till the day he sold Too Short— To the Boy in Khaki, the Boy in Blue; I wrote to them both, you see; And one wed Jeanne, or I might have been true— ‘The other one chose Marie! I send to the Nice Man That Was, That Is, To the Man That Will Be mine . For a fortnight or two—as I am His— A kiss for Valentine! The Man Who Disappoints By Sophie Irene Loeb 20, by The Press I'ublishing Co, (The New York Evening World.) Cops riaht, 6 es wernt The Big Man Is Always One Who Can Make a | Firm, Definite and Immediate Decision. ¢ x reader to write something wbout the man who disap- foints—who does not keep his engage- ments. He ways: “I haye known @ young mau for flye yours, and after being a friend of his for this period he has continuously licd te me and has gone out with others when he has brokea an,engagement with me. “What hurts me is that when the night ‘of’ appointment arrives comes to my house and very po! gtates he cannot go, giving some founded excuse. I have lost all my confidence and respect for tis young man for this reason. “If you write something about tt, able to keep an appointment, for some | good reason und only on rare oc- | caxions, | Such @ one, being considerate, will always make every effort to notify you in time, in order that you ma: be able to do something else, or will otherwise endeivor to make amends | tor his shortcoming, | ‘There are occasions when the best of people, with the best of intentions, aré compelled to break thélr word, | but you ure fully cognizant of this. "| The thing that hurts and causes | distrust and misgiving is when the! offense is repented in a careless man- her and with indifference as ¢0 one's feelings. | In line with this is the person who | fails to meet an issue.” H) hides and | \. busy and cannot see you when you try to get him Ho is the fellow that ts always “in a conference” when you call him on REQUEST has come from & Valentine, as We Understand It, Was the Patron Saint of, Valentines * Sentiment Like St. Vitus Is the Patron Saint of the Shimmy. For a Dollar a Guy.Can Send One to a-~ Girl to Let Her Know He Loves Her. , He Could» Say the Same Thing Over the Phone for a Jitney, Only a Val Is Much Speedier, — By Neal R. O'Hara Copyright, 1920, by ‘The Press Publishing Co. (The New Yord Bren'ng World.) ‘DAY is Valentine's Day. You should etting your Valentings the a middle of next week. The valentines may be first class but the mail H service never is, Which is why Valentine's Day should be a week, # Idea of sending valentines was first dis¢overed by St, Valoatine i: and first discouraged by Burleson, When it comes to being on time, _ Bs tho female of the species has got it all over the malls, Bat Barleson’s 2 got an extra day to get ‘em to us this year. Which will hi i aa of us. « ¥ Oe History's been changed quite a bit on both sides of the water.—wet amd dry, you understand—but as w2 understand it Valentine was ihe patrom.. | saint of sentiment Uke St. Vitus is the patron saint of the shimm; | sending valentines is an old custom that’s as hard to shake as St. dance. poetry. P her. He could tell her the same thing over the phone for a nicke!—omly, Of all the saints Valentine is the only one that has « day set aside for him, except of course, St. Pateick. St. Patrick not has a day «© but a night and a night before, It’s that other Valenting. Jimmy, tht ie has a night set asido for HIM. Jimmy Valentine ix the patrow saipt of the safe blowers, And the safe breakers could mever get along without thelr jimmy. " A valentine is five ounces of fancy paper and four lines of fancy) ( For a dollar a guy can send one to a girl to let her know be loves... oe VALESTINE a valentine js 40 much speedier. A val means 4 whole lot to & girl without } her reading it. ‘The more she reads it the less it megny. its Uke Sir_ Oliver Lodge's spirits—the wrapping may give the right address but mem 6 mecsage sounds foolish unless you have faith. The 1920 valentides have plenty of lace the some as the latest 5 Ungerie. In either case the lace means nothing Wat expense. Big idea ‘ of these paper tokens Is to make 'em ay orpete as possible, The verse ix the only thing stmple about ‘em. “ A Flertine is the old days proved a guy was crazy about a girl, 28 only proves he’s crazy now. The 1920 dame would rather have you remem", Sie ber her on Christmas than on St. Valentine's Day, She'd rather have & = a ring of platinum than a ream of platitudes. fe you toverher, sey bt Wate. f jewelry, not with junk. oe i Tes all right for a married gay to send one to by, wile and eM wrong to get one from anybody but tho wife, A vei never means much till the old girl finds it in your inyile pocke: Then it theaus wuythiag from delirium to divorce in the second degree, ‘A lot of old maids that don’t believe in Santa Claus fa)! hard for thé 7 rhymes on a valentine. But the sentiment that sounds #9 love'y because % it came from “Him” was written by a bald-headed guy ai the wsual space, ‘a rates—2 cents a word and nothing for commas. The bald-headed poets ,, were rhyming “please be mine” with “valentine” for this year’s crop slong in the fall of 1919 when eggs were 90 cents a dozen and rooms were 380 a pair with bath. i Still, let the valentines have thelr day, They're first alds to love, like a wink or a smile. When Cupid ran out of arrows he used to send valentines, and the only difference between atrows and valentines was that a valentine never had a point. But to the old dames it makes mo difference now if Cupid rans out of arrows so lope as he's well supplied with beaus. However-—a thought for to-day heart won't send het a valentine, Hearts and flowers always #0 logether in song as well as A yny that loves a girl with alt bie He'll send her $40 worth of orchids three of ‘em. a in lov i acon What to Do Until the Doctor Comes By Charlotte C. West, M. D. Coppright, 1920,, by The Prete Publisbing Co. (The NAF York Brening W ' ms teria renew their vigor un4 under Influenza or Flu. favorable conditions again spread < FEW weeks ago I had faliee: themselves over the earth with gremt t thing to way on hi gyeoegies virulency. In ancient days smalfle the “Flu,” and ea! , up ‘ccau-| 20% tyPhua fever und similar dise readers to use every pr cases decimated whole countries} tion in preventing the spread of at- tacks simulating this disease, which ty probably nothing more or leys than la grippe in perhaps a virulent form. Since then the malady has made the telephone it would surely enlighten this fellow] ‘nity hackneyed phrase “in a can- and others as to what a friend] ferenge’ has become such a poor| means.” excuse for an unwikingnem to meet I have always believed that the] {the matter at hand as ake mer man who disappoints and does {| dopbt the stability and actor of continually js certainly one to be| the man who uses it ivoided, To me there ta nothing so]. The big man sets « time and neets his tasue, squarely ‘ine yes or no, fairly and ; appointments breaking them usable as the person who maker und has a habit of i e first requisite of a man and ajand keep ,ou hanging fire. Hoe de gentleman ty to * his “word as| cides, He docs not “duck” or “pass food as his bond.” When he fails to | the buck.” He keeps faith, and keeping faith ts the greatest asset in the human game, keep an engagement he has broken | his ward, As f general thing he ix not to be trusted. He has lied, and perhaps will steal, Already he has stolen |Your time and attention, There is | no excuse for him. Usually he ts a smooth, happy-Ro- lucky individual, who ‘makes his | | promises lightly,’ and very often in {his heart of hearts does not intend |to keep them at the time he makes them. | TL would be very wary and mistrust- |ful of anybody who does not keep his agreements, who makes excuses, instead of making good. The sooner AT Doveu Know?) Covrright, 1020, ty The Prem Publishing Co, | | | (The New York Evening World) 1. In what State are most locomo- tives manufactured? | 2, Who was fed by the ravens? | 3. Of what country was Cleopatra one lets a friend like that go, the| once ruler? | |hetter. You will save yourself later| 4, Who wrote the “Vicar of Wake- | trouble with him. field?” In connection with this, and still more unpardonable, is the mam who makes an engagement with a woman | ind does not keep it. He has lost all | isand | claim to gentleness and chivalry, to| 7, Who ts Secretary of the Ameri-| | say nothing of manhood. can Federation of Labor? Certainly in ull of the foregoing T| %, Who invented the miner's safety am net speaking of the friend who, | la from geome untureseen cause ly un- %, What is the name of tho Kaglian | h 5, By whom was the picture on the | ceiling of the Sistine Chapel painted? 6, Who composed “Pe!leas and Mel- RN nsiderable headway in our vicinity, casew breaking out in all sorts and conditions of people. Blate and mu- nicipal health bureaus are mobilizing lan thelr forces to combat what they now recoxmae a8 a practical opi- demic of influenza, It is some thirty- He does not “beat about the bush” | one yeurs since this coyntry was first) sited by an epidemic of this dis- n virulent form, One peculiarity about bacteria is that they become attenuated and lose much of their vitality after an extensive epldemte such as the memorable one referred to above, which came out of Russia in 1889. uent outbreaks are ‘usually much lighter in form, as has been the case In this disease With the p ssing years the bac which will sail in t races? the nam ng house of & nous Italian in- ternational 10, What famous ban 1, What f once lived on Staten Island? patriot 12, Who Goyernor of New Jersey? ANSWERS is the To YESTERDAY'S QUESTIONS, ni 1, Mexico; 2, Sherm Angel; 4, Washington ibralta 6, WA. Burt; 7, tin; 8, Richard; Saracens; 10, oxalic; 11, James Whit- comb Riley; 12, 3 3, Bright jbat the impending geon General Blve tas issued a speclat > i) the fact - in modern times typhoid fever ang) dysentery proved, and indted still are. @ matter of s¢rious concern to medigal staffs, where large aggtegations of people ure gathered, such as army 4nd like; any highly rontagious disease auch ax the “@u’* or ge“ ppe spreyds by contact. In the early winter when it first appeared, the theory Wag advanced that only those who were vety much run down in health as a consequence: of poor food, nutritional disorder _} and 40 on, Were in danger of con- } tracting this disease; but this theory cannot be botne oyt by the facts. ‘The immediate danger in influensa is pneumonia, and the possible dap~ ger heart failure. If taken in hand at once both are negligible. It ts ad~ viseh that upon the first indieations of a “cold.” the patient be put to bed and given vigorous (rhatment (0 come sidition, Sur- barracks anggoment rtasee (9 imme. patent, disins * from the spiratory | treets with im. « vd use similar ules, and wash t hands immeuiately after suok contact } Hecavae of the tendency to bfeme cho-pneumenia, cases must be tremt« ed in large, well-ventilated rooms, Let me emphasize that immediate rest ‘in bed with vigorous treatment Be employed at the first signs of a anit. fling, sneezing cold, as thi s through neglect, develop inlo an. tuck of indlugaza,