The evening world. Newspaper, February 11, 1920, Page 25

«BBR & a WEDNESDAY, FE BRUARY 11 To Practise Auricular Fatigue Says John Philip Sousa. ' By Marguerite Mooers Marshall ‘Copyright, 1920, by The Pree Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World.) ‘Vi you married man’s auricular fatigue? - Tt is the latest method of procuring painless matrimony. or 5 Derbaps it is only a new name—John Philip Sousa's name—for an life. In the first while his wife is ancient disease more widespread than the “flu.” “The Transit of Venus,” the last of a series of widely ‘popular novels which America’s greatest band con- ductor dashes off in the odd moments when he is not composing or leading patriotic melodies, Mr. Sousa diagnoses married, man's auricular fatigue aod ex- Plains its advuhtages, "Tt is,” he says, “a common ailment with married men after the first, fifth and tenth years of married In stage the tusband’s ear grows weary talking. Then that symptom disap- pears and he loses his ability to hear his wife. Such expressions common to her, as ‘Brute!’ ‘I won't stand for it!" "Why did I ever marry you?’ make a fainter and fainter impression "pon the tympanum and finally become quite inaudible. Knowing what to from the resources of an Yocabulary, the matried man doesn’t emphatic but comparatively limited allow his mind to concentrate on his ears while his wife is talking, just as the boilér-maker becomes oblivious to the sound of his riveter and the comes to ignore it. “Of course I believe in marriage! fwarmly exclaims Mr. Sousa, with a @winkle in his shrewd Little eyes and @ Gecisive nod of the head set #0 Squarely on his broad shoulders. “I believe in carly marriages—I dalieve fm ‘em so much that I was married when I was twenty-three and my wife was a school girl, and I've been exceedingly happy. Yet is there any- @ing which smooths out life more far ote average’ Wiyband Or Wife) than a well-developed dase ‘of auricu- Jar fatigue? “Most people talk too much, you know. Parents tatk too much at their children, and the youngsters in self-defense cultivate thelr auricular fatigue before they're grown. Poll- ticlans talk too much, and so do up- lifters and anybody with a bee in his silk hat or her bonnet. The only de- ftenee of the listenerg—I'm one of the Dest little listeners in the world, by the way—is amiable, tolerant, calm auricular fatigue, “The first time a man and his wife have a little difficulty, and she ex- claims, ‘Why did I ever marry you? I can't stand jt another moment— the man gets excited and nervous and fighting mad himself. But do you think he fs affected in the same way the tenth time he bears those words? Of course not--and it's lucky ne isn't. His nerves could never stand the strain. “Self-preservation also demands that he should cultivate auricular fa- rds expendi- vigue as. re certain tures. When he has heard ‘just 80 often the request for a new car, or for a place on Long Island, he learns to concentrate on something e des his cars, while his wife ‘on these topics.” hon you mustu't. think,” I inter: mipted Mr. Sousa at this point, “that all the aurioular fatigued of me mony is monopolized by men. There # no other refuge, T <= = by The Press Publishius Co. Copyright, 19° {The New York Evening World.) 1. In a six horse team, what are the ‘horges next to the wagon called? 2 What large African animal has @ horn growing from its nos 3. What is yeast is used? irman of the Demo. & With what banking i Henry P. Davison connected? € On what planet can canals be eeen which are taken as evidence of haltdtation? titution is Lack of concentration is the ani all the noises of the world—including a nagging wot bread called when no|* dweller next to an elevated railroad lc which eliminates the woman whose husband makes a Dusiness of censoring ter dress, of warning her, conscientiously, when ber skirt is too short or her evening be 4) too Cope “Man,” Mr. use agreed with re- freshing candor, “are such bypocrites im these matters. Any man with red biood tn hia veins likes to see a trim ankle under a short skirt. Yet the very get-up he will admire on @ woman he passes in the street will be criticised by him if he goes home and finds his wife wearing a similar “Also,” I painted out, “every wife gets a strongly developed case of auricular fatigue when her husband attempts to tell her how much better \ho could mannge the servants if he Were running things.” Again Mr, Sousa grinned—and con- Mee “a led that omce,” he said “It Waa in the case of a mmid wino never had breakfast on time. ‘You talk to her too much,’ I told my wife. ‘What she needs is a brief but firm ulti- matum.’ “Try it,’ my wife answered. So the next morning I came down- stairs to find breakfast late again, and I satd, "Mary, either you will have breakfast ready to serve at 8 or the next time it isn't ready you vill leave, you don't lil Tay leave now. seca “‘T will leave now,’ she @atd, ‘if you'll ‘give me my money.’ We owed her only a few dollars, but when I put my hand in my pocket I found nothing smaler than a twenty-dollar “Take that out and get it : anged,’ I bee ay that's the last ever saw the Dill or 1 Sol stopped telling my wife Fenty treat the servmate.. “No man.", Mr. Sousa answered an- other question which the numerous opigrams in his book had suggested to me, “ie in his heart of hearts a cynic avout women. Or elve the most crit- ical and savage divorced man is a regular glutton for punishment, for he invariabiy marries agnin. As my heroine observes, fur from being a woman-hater, he must have an un- Umited reservoir of love in his maki up and a faith in womanking over- whelming in its simplicity.” 1920 | The Cure for the Nagging Wife | Or the “‘Lordful’’ Husband Is | EXcUSe WY 1GNORANCE 7AM < FOR MY By Roy L: Copyright, been down to that okt office of yours and all I see being done in the way of work 1s the rattling of typewriters and passing of papers to Le signed, and pinning other papers to these papers and that awful man Jenkins, who looks tke a fiyh, and who has a wife that has always u new dress overy tigie 1 see her’—— “But you only see h a yeur,” ventured Mr. “That's oftener than I want to see her,” replied Mra. Jarr, “and that has nothing to do with what I have been trying to exptain to yo r about once if Mans. Jenking only . every two years I'd be we the sume dress.” “But if you see her onze a year @ sees You once # year,” remarked Mr. Jatr “Not if I wee her first Jarr. “I saw her the o! tinware department of 4 department store und 1 dodged rigit behind replied Mr day in the a whole lot of ash cans and they fel h 8 over with the awfulest ry % What are the Japanese carts|liko the rest of all those n @alled which are drawn by men? women. Wants you to carry her & What ts the body of water be-| packages and then expecis you to tween Lower ifornia and mainiand of Mexico called? 9, What term does a moving @rector use when he wants the to stop? Joture action the| her to a matinee. ever do for you | |came out and see us gome ¢ "You were And all to say, You must od Mr. 10. From what kind of wood are} Ju patiently as he paused at che moth proof chests made? door UL Who wrote the music of the] i a Aedie a song "From the Land of the dky| “I was saying that man Jenkin Bive Water?” | down at your office looks like a fis 12, What heavy weigit is known| And as for that Johnson, the cashier, as the “plaste 1 hate the way he smirks at me and ANSWERS TO YESTERDAY'S | gays: ‘An, good morning, Mis. Jarr. QUESTIONS. |Down to keop an eye on ust" No 1, Big-top 48 degr "1 would be a good thing for you all if Wiley: 4, Mount Vernon; 6, Cr you really iad some work to do,” Youtgfana Purchuee; ‘11, “We do @ lot of work, all right, all 3 1%, Sweety right,” replied Mr. Jarz. 4 The Jarr Family 1990, by The Preas Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World.) they | McCardell | By Sophie | sie yNeeiahe-tteteaeeeaanamor eee eT Mrs. Jarr Proves the Analogy Between Warm 7 Feet and a Warm Heart. oy the Best Parts of WN ae I must hop atong,”| “I never euw anything done there | gy sald Mr, Jarr “The fall of| except the Suturday you asked me to} FEW days ago, in discussing . foreign exohange hasn't | stop in and we'd como uptown to a J the meat industry with the barter bd our business.” | matinee,” remarked Mrs. Jarr. heads of the Packers’ Organ- ‘Tiuh! sniffed Mrs. Jarr, “I've| “What work was belug done that/ ization, many, interesting matters | met witb your approval upon this oc- | casion?” asked Mr. Jarr. For he togk |4t to heart that his wife should con- | sider him an idler during business | hours downtown. | “Why, that woman who was dust- ing and the other woman who was | sweeping," replied Mrs, Jarr. “The |édea of having two grown women to| came in for discussion. One of them that gives siderable food for thought 1s the suggestion of J. President of Ar- 4 mour & Co. |do work in an office where there is , Mr Armour | Ro cooking and the laundry goes out, ’ impressed me as jone might say. And yet the woman| ona who has dusting thought consid- erably on the human side of things For example, he would rather havo the smile of recognition, the human touch with the policeman or the man street, than many of his close t huif do it, and the woman sweeping never lifted # rug at th 3, and you know if you don't | awk the edges of a rug when | you are sweeping or cleaning hard-| | wood floors, and why women will| in the | Work in offices and not in people's | associates, homes"——— | He has some very good ideas on “I'm sorry don't work to your | subject of “growing.” And cor- Jair, “even| no one can talk more under- | weeping, Of| standingly on this topic, since he you must not mention 1h: stopjad into his father’s shoes and his peagy Hoe MERHOD Lis Ut! business has kept pace wita tho trade, because our dustings | trend of the times. the muanket and our sweeping| He s ost people want to despair of our grow, They would like to advance Peta gical edle ire gf axa Jin their work, earn more, have greater jSerubbings, I am sorry to say, are] influence, do bigger things. | Yet dull this season, but we hope strange to say, the world is full of }pick up, und ‘if so we are prepared to! peoble who do’ not ‘grow up.’ They Bictatee anainee Ania have lost the secret of their youthful ane Deere Sentere, me | days, They come to a halt in self~le- What nonsease are you witking?! velopment, and folks say they are cried Mrs. Jarr. "L presume you are trying to anake fun of me so I'M feel | | bad | getting ‘old.’ “But @ person te never old until he quits growing; and he need not quit é growing until the end of his yeurs. ; YoU ure mistaken,” Mr.| ‘The most conspicuous fact ‘about xeth ut ng Sarr rted. “Honest, you are” | great men—men who do big things, | am not,” replied Mrs. Jarr tear-/| and keep on doing them--is that they | But L wanted fo tell you] never cease growing. They are por- ing d now I've coreopien | perually young. t not to forget my overshoes | ing, he hus but three things to do- et you lave same money?"| “iret, he must be a LEARNET [an nis 1 I do not mean from u guess?" re- | books only, Almowt any one ean learn | plied Jarr, “But you know, 1! from books. Many have attained the don: want you to ha’ ld fect, knack of learning from things, by ob- | And to prove he hadn't cold feet,| servation, Few have acquired all Mr. Jarr put on bis overshoes and| there is to the art of learning trom then Danded her $10. other peopl 5 min sets hix heart upon grow- ow did y |Are Youa Human Question Mark: Ogdon Arnour,| Irene Loeb Copyright, 1920, by The Prem Publishing Co. (The New York Bvening World.) pennant “The Bumps You Will Get, the Discouragements You Will Encounter, Will Be Among Your Education.”’ | “Yet almost every one you mew hag something important to teach you, tell | you or show you, if you know how to |Qek Intelligent questions, and if you jare genuinely\interested in learning. | Some will give you Information, aome will teach you wisdom, some will show you the right manner of delivering @ huinile or handshake. ‘The man ‘who would grow must be a Auman interro- | vation point.” | And “there is the whole thing summed up in a nutsbell—eing un- afraid to ask, ask about everything, |To show an interest in all that goe on, whether it pertains particulurly to one’s own business or not, makes ‘one pick up knowledge without being cognimnt of it, go that at the end of la certain period people often surprise themselves with the knowledgs they have thus gleaned, As a wise woul has suid: “Know!- ledge iy power.” | For every protiem that you at- |tack, some idva that you have got sunewhere, at some other time nds one in good stead to a sur- prising degree. That js one of the things that has made many a suc- esstul man veraatile—to do a num- | ber of things equally well, bring to their work ull that they hi jlcarned, whioh aids them to cope with the task at hand, \""Mr. Armour also places stress on {the ability of one to think tmrd. Aw | he says, “Many people have never |put @ load om their bruins, and their |brains, Like an unattached locomvutive, jalways run ‘ight.’ | By making deductions from things |, & Tan gels @ gure | he | use And, finally, Armour inainte |that to complete the attribute of suc- \cess, one must be a “doer.” Some peuple think a lot, little, Ag he wisely mys: “When you have |the courage to tackle the difficult thing which tests your utmost ability then you are down to theghusiness of growing in al} Sis fine pofnts, “The bumps you will get, the dis- covuragements you will encounter, and even the inigtakes you will make in being sealous in your doing, will be among the best parts of your educa- tion” but do By Maurice Ketten | WEDNESDAY, T howpital at the age of seventy-five, OORING stayed on the trains and often the as far ag Omaha the daring of the high- ‘Where once lone whole dozen men sing! stages, though, quent, and as @ last resort a special treasure coach waa built. hold-up on tiie route Five armed toen, Under charge of Bullock, acted as guard. The coach bud made several trips without molestation and carried out hundreds of thousands in dust mhen ite first attack cume, They had pulled in at Cold Springs, a stage station, to water the horses, when suxdtien|; tage stable si a of swept the coach. oorrte aan Oe ES cial rm, pic} ding | Hill, one the guards, just Chauncey looked Edited by Bide Dudley | Become a Butler. a) cause of the prews of other busi-|wno are you?” he called, the back of a diving horwy, I was a| ,Qhaunecy’s head ee way, Lillie. ences. Wel, I didn't cover the as-|_ 1 sues they wont away as I didn’t and my pep began to return. ‘The on the seaffold ready for the dive and started out to look for a job. On the la fatality. 4 butler, Mrs. J. Montgomery Glee Mr. Jefferson Shrewsbury Nutt, a|the house was sur by a maid, agreed that nothing tbat bespens to|intce uns For Mrs, B; Part. “Hxcellont!" she eid. “I know of The man stepped beck and my “Om, yen,” I replied. jand went down into the water $008 | nrougts ae tanklan penseetuitt ae |aaid. “'Y me. from flirting with the maid.” a never appeal to me, espoctally in to ask for their money back? Are evauanibure enn eee Sa The Life of Jeff Nutt e Lule 0 é Copyright, 1920, wy the Pram Publishiag Oo, (The Mew York Evening World.) Our Hero Abandons His Newspaper Career to | CROME tine ago, when I had to quit)! waited. S writing the story of my lite be-|“II06h Sewn reat any clothes om, hi ness, I left myself at @ park near! “I'm the fellow without any clothes oh ol on ied. Cleveland waiting to ride a po; Mnsustern head ‘di es reporter and had been assigned to take|"Tere are violets to be picked |the vide and then write my experi-| around hore.” hear anything more of them. An hour Mancoent, later I dressed. My ctothes were dry | ‘The owner of the horwe had us up first thing [ did wae to resign from decided to introduce me to the crowd | the Rewapaper Lag Py oa [that stood below hoping to witness) way into town I found a newspaper and in it I saw an advertisement for i “Ladies Lag hasta nt etes ST urted ons. Pon Glniten ktael oka T take great plonwure in introducing |g: Mra, J. Ete.'s door, ‘The lady of moned daring newspaper man, wo will ride} “I want a butler," ghe sald, “Where White Beauty into the water. He has|!d you last work? ington Wallula, in New York,” 1 re- him ain't going to be held agatnat| pied. hn him tuck," me J.9eh Bin Be Mrs, Wallua, She is one of the 400, ien't ahe?” knees began to shake, Suddenly tt} “She organized happened. I sli off the scaffold|st and selected the figures.” yes Laas vy “My husband knows Mr, Wallula |first. Aw I crawled out on the bank, You tay consider youretit an the man came down and rushed up to| gaged. I shall ask that you refrain ‘What's the matter with you?’ he| 1 took one look at the maid. growied. “Do you want these people| D6Ver flirt, madame, Pad Maids ‘omes where the family is bleused you drunk? with beauty.” Jot exactly,” I replied, “but { feel] She liked that, What woman ike an old oak.” woudn't—I ask you? “Kindly refrain You see, I was still witty, 1 never|from indulging in levity,” she sald, injat a chance to joke if physical! “I never touch a drop,” 1 replied, I danger isn't lurking near, had overlooked that levity word some- yell, come on and show your grit." |how in my sohool days. She thought think I'd prefer to hit the grit,”|[ was joking. came from me Another witticism,| “Enough!” she sald, * you will observe, tow you to your room With that I lit out and kept going} Annie came forward. “This way, until I reached a clump of trees on a|she said, ‘3 bank. There I took off my| 1 followed her to the thini floor, hes and wrung them out. Then! ‘Phore's your stall," she said. “Now I hung them up on bushes to dry ead|jemme ask you--where did you get lay down to walt for the sun % get! that beauty etuff? You know beauty’s FEBRUARY 11, 192 Readers of Ten-Cent “Thrillers” Mourn Hero Who Guarded the _ Bullion in Stage Coach Days Conrright, 1050, by The Prem Publishing Co, (The New York Bveming World.) death of “Deadwood Diqk” Bullock, famous plainsman and guard the Deadwood treasure coach in the days of the Black Hills gold — rush, whose authentic adventures made him the hero of thousands of thrillthg stories, the well-beloved dime novels of decades ago, was af- nounced in dewpatohes yesterday. “Deadwood Dick” died in a Los Angeles adventures that inspired these stories, and stigsled veteran was perhaps the best story of them all. pina arsenal teaser ~ AEE: t i Hi eee the treasure at the railroad amd wea on the return trip when attacked. The later traced were tu Towa and captured, Lat ‘ed as loss dust, Dick's” treasaren tis Monrovia, Cal, long -barret| Con Fovobwer of ‘he vintage of 1845, which he still and It was his boast that th; old One of “Deadwood at the little tent in where he pamet lead into some Fedakins along the mountain It qwas with this gun de three men in stage, carrying up “Deadwood Dick,” last the far days of the wild Were ttt hero of adventure and dead. But his name has Dassed history and tradition as embod: the fine spirit of an \ : tional tife. bait de th: of Optimism ; Copyright, 1929, by The Pree Pwhlishing Co, (Toe New York Bvening World.) Before You Leap, HEY were conveniently located, near water, and: could have camped comfortably for @be night; but as they swept their onward and upward they saw that they were upproaching a part cf the country which for gorgoous, sceni effects was unaprulleled. Far away in the hazy distance the lan revealed itself in a brilliant maze of bdlue and gold and green and red. Tail trees stretched their vowering branches heavenward till like further spires they seemed to kiss the clouds which lolied lazily by and intemnit- tently obscured the sun's rays whicl blazed down from @ ball of fire. The trees were there; the branched whot skyward; the sun blazed away as brillianUy 4s before, But the road was just as rocky, the air just we wandy, they themselves just as hot and just as tired; the sun's merciless rays beat down just as bilsteringly and water was nowhere about. Once more they lifted their eyes and again far away in the hazy distance the landscape revealed itself ag a brilliant maze of Dive and gold and green It ie the same through life, Com- monplaceness and intimacy duil our appreciation of our bi jin its work. I Waa eomfortarée now! only drug store deep” and cropped off to sleep. Suddenly J| “You're rigit,” I said, “And by the was awakened by a feminine voice, | way, I oan direct you to a pretty “Oh, look, Chauncey,’ jwood drug store down the street." “Vhore'a the wild man rh Aasle stuck out her tongue amd I managed™to grab my shirt trom|beat | Aueneee epread it ovey me. Then (To be gomtinued) u rackte ae ie quently impel our thoughts to tures i ~