The evening world. Newspaper, September 2, 1919, Page 20

*'all was thrown. Abit Plays By BIDE BATRICAL news in New York,/in sympathy with the striking actors from |@fter a month of one-nighters.” other than that ¢ the strike situation, is as scarce as bigh-balls at a church social. It! we had a birthday last week and it therefore, behooves the writer of this} was fraught full of pleasure We column to turn to fiction to retain] were much gifted by our whole fam: | the interest of his readers. Huving| ‘ly. Our wife gave us a new pair of once been assured by Bob Davis, the| pair being quite holey, both toe and magazine editor, that, as a short|heel. We shall appear in the new) story writer we were a wonderful pool|Ones next Sabbath. The other gifts player, we feel sure you will enjoy the tale that is to follow. It is called| put two pennies and a battered dime, Let's go!| but we hope our subscribers will find | “@lugger Mike's Chan‘ Glugger Mike was a barber, but he wanted to be a baseball player. One day John McGraw got imto his chair for 15 cents’ worth of hirsute celief. Slugger Mike thought the man was MoGraw but wasn't sure. He decided to fmd out. “Cincinnati!” he yelled. ‘The man in the chair leaped three feet straight up. And Slugger Mike knew be was McGraw. “Mr. McGraw,” be said, “I am a barber, but I can bat .500 per cent. I want to join the Giants and help them win the pennant.” “T'm surprised,” said the man in the chair, “Good!” said Mike, “I will be at the ball park to-morrow.” oeeee Tt was the next day, The great cnt Pages DUDLEY ¥ — "i THE EDITOR'S BIRTHDAY. which was timely, our other were quite as debonaire. Incidentally | we find our money drawer to-day has out our condition and reswell our) pile unless some of them want us to sue them, the tight-wads. Is it you?— ‘Paw Paw (Mo.) Bazoo, WHEN Si 16 HUNGRY. There's iota of folke with lots ¢) tastes | Concernin’ things to eat, | Most ev'ryone has got a dish | He thinks just can't be beat. Now in yer Uncle Bi's idee The recipe ain't ‘writ To deat plain chicken gravy, friend, With bread for soppin’ it. Tee had my share of angel food, Ice cream, banners, too, Tve even took on oysters at A half a plunk @ stow, That catin's fine, but if you'd please game was on. The press box was full of travelling men and cigar clerks. The game was a tough one. The Lome boys were behind. “What shall I do?” moaned @ man. He was McGraw. “We need a batter.” A young man appeared. He was Slugger Mike. “I can win for you. ‘Let me knock @ home run.” “Go to the club house and get imto & suit. I tried you as a barber; y surely have strong arms.” Five minutes later Stugger Mike stepped up to the plate, He had a bat in his hand. Two men were on bases. A home run would win, The “Swing!” yelled MoGraw. Glugger Mike swung, He hit him- self in the head and dropped. oy t a hig beg Ni Mi were a it see No. 10 come in. Girls were there to fiirt with drummers. Undertaker Hum- mers new auto hearse chugged up. No, 10 came in and stopped. A long pine box was transferred from th: was speaking. “Yes, hy * owes me four bits for sheart ‘is dor.” Veterinary Blooer had replied. me chi hearse. roger ‘Too bad! * STRIKE NOTES. Taking advantage of Labor Day. the Managers’ press agent had a day jt a There wis another new ramor in the theatrical district yesterday. It vaid the strike was all over—town. Fred pebetee has two dogs, named Equity wuectity, and the little 1 the time. the was inside, 2 i, “8 t theatres that are dark turned ‘em away yesterday at matinee time Tt takes a card to get in A. EK, A. yNeadquarters in West 45th street now. Tom Deen saet it with an ace of spades yesterday. There's a report out that Rube Marquard tried to join the Fidelity and failed. They said be had cau Loo mney. strikes. Od4 MoIntyre was heard yeaterday waying he could see the end of the trouble, But he didn’t say which end. PRETTY FAIR, 816! ‘Tho sister of an actor, who says) she is not a striking girl, but pretty e lad he . ei, | ther él to be working again, but a fine new hearse Blimp st bought.” ‘because of the retirement of Charles ised | And he was a terrible jester, Yer Uncle Si a bit, Just dish me chicken gravy, friend, With bread for soppin' tt. Gossip. William Roek and Francis White have dissolved partnership and will appear as “singles.” Miss White has been engaged for the next “Nine | o’'Clock Revue" and “The Midnight Frolic.” Lionel Hein will direct a tour of the Marine Band of the Thirteenth Regi- ment which recently returned from | France. Concerts will be given in New York, Washington, Philadelphia and Boston. The Equity will give a ball at St, Nicholas Rink Monday evening with Mrs, De Wolf Hopper as hostess. On Thursday evening, Sept. 11, it will have another dancing affair at the Audubon Ball Room with Louise Huff in charge. “Happy Days" reopened at the ‘Hippodrome ‘yesterday, two perform- ances being given. The whole troupe there was a note of rogret back stage Dillingham as director of the big playhouse. It is reported that Leon De Costa, composer of “Fifty-Fifty, Ltd.” the new musical comedy soon to be pro- duced by, Scibilia Theatrical Enter- prises, has agreed to let his whiskers ‘until the strike is declared off. je thinks @ week will see the finish. And Leon is fond of soup , too, ANSWERG TO INQUIRIES. “i Y, M. C.—Writé some film publica- jon, K, Ll, M.—Garah Bernhardt is stil! living. A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. After working on @ puzzle twelve hours a day for six months a Wells- ville man has -solved it. His wife takes in washing. FOOLISHMENT. There was a young fellow named Hester, Hach day he was well A joke he would tell— That is if he thought it were best ter, FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE. 5068. — pa a = sent us the following jolly thought: “Perhaps President Wilson will be “When 1 was elght years old I was left an orphan.” “What did you do with itt” IT DIDN'T SUIT FATHER! 667 TTHE store ty - one years old to-day, dad, We're out of shor? pants.” “Or- diately, son, N That's no way to Sem et EM run a store."— leated foods, I shall attach the end of this stout cord to a convenient projec- tion, light a candle and enter, crawl- ing carefully among the stalactites and stalagmites, paying out the cord as I go, and”—— “Great Heavens! Mr, Gloom,” ejac- ulated an acquaintance, “Are you contemplating exploring some vast and dismal cavery?" “Yes. 1 am going into our Kansas City Post Office for the purpose of having weighed, purchasing stamps COMIC PAGE TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1919 "Wonder How She'd Estimate Ice Cream? \ come on BROTHER ee ‘ua, Go NEXT ‘L DooR AND TRY “Merk GCum=DROPS (1 AIKe “To “Ry ONE oF Tour, LOLLY POPS TM sorry BUT IT DOES NT FiT HiS-- MouTH So She Could FATHEAD “To HER — — (FT “TELL HER “TO Do ONE “TING SHE'LL , Do StS “TH, oprepre ! MY WoRD DoNT MEAN TNO MORE'N A RaBenTs! LISTENING "TS HEAR WHAT You PRomiseD! JOE’S CAR eve (il Pom Penman HY twee Wks I SPENT “wo davs GETTIN’ “Tu'car READY FOR “TH' TRIP — T wish THAD A CAR, JOE! PRETTY SOFT FOR You— WITH A CAR “To TAKE YoU ON YOUR VACATION! —~ —Two DAYS GETTIN’ cr = & sau: i DAYS READY FoR “TH! RUN AN oO MORE FIXIN’ (T UP AFTER WE rea | Got Back!!! Tata “NOBODY " HE REMEMBERS HS OLD FRIENDS AFTER WHERITING A WAD OF DOUGH! HER. REMINISCENCES OF THE EARLY PYONEER. DAYS WERE WONDER- FOL! FOLKS SIMPLY AN _MARVELEO YES, BUT SHE FORGOT To SEW BUTTONS ON HER AMUSBANOS SHIRTS! ) 10TA WAS A WOMAN WITH A REMARKABLE Memory! AGE OF WINETY- £16HY SHE COULD CLEARLY REMEMBER: TRIVIAL INCIDENCES OF HER. CHILDHOOD DAYS! COMLILED A MISTORY OF ST UTUS COONTY THAT WAS COMPLETE tas EVERY CETAI. HER VIVID MEMORY NEVER. FAILEO HER! THAT Guy WHEN HE HA ONT A CEWT! for and mailing this parcel post pack- Louisville Courier-Journal, > JUSTIFIABLE INDIGNATION. ILLIAM HUGGINS was angry have some justification for wrath. “Liza,” he expostulated, “don't I age.”—Kansas City Star. MET HIS MATCH. TRUCK by the notice, “Iron S Sinks,” in a shop window, a wag went inside and said that |ne was perfectly aware of the fact always tell you I won't ‘ave the kids|that “iron sank.” bringin’ in the coals from ‘the shed in my best ‘at? It ain't nice, Liza.” “Just listen to reason, If you please, Alive to the occasion the smart shopkeeper retaliated: “Yes, and time files, but wine vaults, Bill,” sald bis wife coldly, “You|sulphur springs, jam rolls, grass have spoilt the shape of that hat) slopes, music stands, Niagara Falls, with your funny head, and, as you're | moonlight walks, sheep run, Kent ® working in coal all day at the wharf, what can a little extra coal dust in ,your hat matter?” “You don't see the point, hops and holiday trips, scandal spreads, standard weighs, India rub- Liza,” |er tires, the organ stops, the world said’ Willams with dignity. “I only | 80e8 round, trade returns and”-— wear that ‘at in the heven while I'm hout I takes it horf my head it leaves a black band round my forehead. the consequence Why, I gits accused o' washin’ face with my on, And it a mice, Liza."—London Opinion, ce dle KNEW HIS POST OFFICE. 66] HAVE placea my will in my safety deposit box,” said J. 7 Fuller Gloom. “My pockets are filled with condensed and desic- Serine it is. One bot! Killed Worms. Sold sien tae. pad bottle, z ae VOOMMILID, ‘Be Die Ballas Was ‘8, an’ if But the visitor had bolted, After ollecting his thoughts he returned owing his head at the doorway, d; “Yes, I know, and marble Irish World. na i. w IN THE ROUGH! ‘“ RAGG lea B boasted English literature Sin ,his library.” “Then I'll bet they're uncut gems,” — Balti- more American, FROM Hoge Ratzel SL Wan Se. Ry. city: DOROTHY THATS NOT SERIOUS WHATS THE MAT TER? A MAN GoT ARRESTED HE TOOK A FIANDFUL. OF /PEANUTS OM VES" 13; THATS WHAT You CALL ACTING LIKE A POLICE MAN