The evening world. Newspaper, May 17, 1919, Page 14

a SEC ii By BIDE PLAY, believed by its pro- ducer, A. H. Woods, to be the most novel ever staged, wil: open in Atlantic Clty Monday, It ts “Look and Listen,” written by Ralph Dyar of Spokane, Wash. The play ig @ melodrama, and coniains several stage tricks said to be entirely new Mr. Dyar is in New York and will go to Atlantic City to attend the opening. He is connected with the Spokane Spokesman-Review and is a native of Washington State. Mr, Dyar has been Om Broadway evenings several times Qnd he says, blame it, he's beginning to believe he'd like to live in New York. So many young fellows from the West get that way. TO STAGE RETHY'S PLAY. Arthur Maitland, director of the Little Theatre in San Francisco, an- Bounces he will produce this fall goveph Bernard Rethy's, comedy ‘After the Hereafter.” The action ta this play takes place in a tomb which reminds us, for some reason or other, that EK. M. Balmer {s an undertaker dut In Fort Collins, Col. MY SLUGGISH MIND. Pre things I foil to think of when Pin needing bright replies Have always been a irce to me of deep, repretful sighs; Ita ever been that when it seemed I might have been a wit My mind has lagged and lagged until too lat to make a hit. Bill Smith will say: “Your brain is Bike @ sheep's brain—on the dead,” Now | should answer “Bah!” at‘him; T dow't at all; instead, I make some commonplace reply that has no point at all, For something always seems to cause ‘my thought machine to stall. And 40 it goes; I'm worried, too. Suppose the King of Spain Should say: “Why, kid, you're look- ing fine.” It drives me near insane £6 think that I would hem and haw ‘end answer: “So are you,” Or something on that order; gosh! I don't know what to do. A NEW POET'S WORK. C, Lonsdale of West 19th Street has \Fecently become afflicted with an am- to write + The frst |adjoining the Dance Palace, has been * * "CAN ' Thyme, which reached ‘occast REDUCING" WALK OF V'CANT WALK! DEAR, ' Rene Suh naledy ak hs Craay- tnt" He norm ‘Ganci ldn YOURS BEFORE DARK! || | THOUGHT Y'WAS GONNA IM SORRY, REALLY FROM WALKING i his digestion, ENJOY REDUCIN'! SORRY FoR YA! amokes Ma clay pipe in the |=" , +HOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. parlor, Ola Sam Swerver of Wellsville He is smoking it night and day, | startled the boys in Githooley’s place He swears it's the finest todacco, But it feels to me like salt hay. My deay used to emoke clear Havana, But that was in bygone days, Tor he has taken a tip from daddy, And now he is emoking his‘ clay. They strike matches on the piano, Throw ashes on every seat; It once was a French polished piano, Alas! Now it looks like a camou- fage ship. RB. Smith, bearing music and vainging at his neighbor's house, “ ydeeided be would drop in and see bow they were. Mr, Jones welcomed him and ush- ered him into the parlor, where his daughter was playing the plano and his son singing. Mr, Smi{th begged them to continue, ‘They consented. The first song they selected was “Mother.” They sang this very feelingly and then father joined in on the chorus. This was followed by “Mother Machree” and others of Uke sentiment. ‘Then they stopped for a while and Mr, Jones commented on the songs about mother—how true they were, how dear and how they loved to sing| “Yes, sir; before the race,” them. “Finger nails clipped? | ‘Then, as Mrs. Jones hadn't ap-| AM inspection showed that nothing eared yet: Mr, Smith inquired about her state of health. “Oh,” said Mr. Jones, “she's well enovgh Sheu in the kitchen doing M6 dishes, but after she has finished and Yas taken in the wood she'll Join us.” —Judge, MAYBE HE WAS COMING BACK, HE distinguished and well- beloved Bishop of @ certajn Southern State ts so absent- ‘minded that his family ts always op- prehensive for his welfare when be s away from them. Not long ago, while making a jour- ney by rail, the Bishop was unable to find his ticket when the conductor | asked for it, “Never mind, Bishop,” baid the conductor, who knew him well. “I'll get it on thy second round.” However, when the eonduc- CULL VUUT UL About Plays and Players | Vary "LITTLE MARY MIXUP aay (one CEXT More t Bo DUDLEY [sen cers FoR “THe SODA AND one \ SBNT For war TAL? x Soe, FoR, WAR TAX, T atways Buy “TACKS $ aT The taSn° HARDWARE SToan wen, 4c. Do want WERE 1s THe SoDa- | HARTER’S EASY MONEY. When Jack Harter, stage carpenter at the Hudson Theatre, Is working he looks it. He wears old besmeared overalls and never cares how much dirt adorns his face. In addition to all this he is short and fat. While in Washington with “Dark Horses” recently Jack rolled Into a fine drug store and asked for a banana split The clerk looked him over and de- cided he'd better humor him. After eating the split Jack skinned @ ten off his roll and sald: “Bite into it for the price of the goodies, kid.” It flustered the clerk so he handed Jack change for a twenty, When the carpenter found all that addi- tional cash in his jeana he went back to the store each half hour and ute a banana split. But he never got another darn cent. i Ct Ncdainaiitii, DIPPY DOODLEUMS. | (Ry Little Mary Imace, of Patbass) — | “Oh, mother, what have you done, with my other roller skate?” “Don't worry, little dinkydums, | |Mother hears a knock at the door. | | Maybe it's Kate. My land, my land!) How mother will joke now and then! Well, the theatrical season has just closed, Mother must take in some plays.” | “Oh, plays don't, Mommelums.” | “There! Just for that Momsie will never again let Pinsky Winsky shoot paper wads at to sober him up. Now go in ai ike a chord on the plano, Mother wants to locate A fat.” | THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY 'N: I CANT OLeeP A_WINK= ANT AINT Gor No Morne GG SUCH TERRIBLE PAINS ALL OvER MY BODY AN" 4 BUT STHERWISZE YOUKE FEELIN’ QuiTe Gossip. | “Our Pleasant Sins” closes at the Belmont Theatre to-night, It will go on tour in August. | The Hippodrome’s show, “Pvery- thing,” finishes a long and highly| successful season to-night. | Fay Bainter has been invited to visit the aviation field at Mineola. | She may take an air trip. | ‘The Adolf Philipp Film Corporation | has opened offices and will soon get busy making a film star of Adolf. 1 Myron Selznick announces he has Closed a contract whereby Ralph Ince will produce for the Selznick Corpo- ration. Next week will be Jubilee Week at the B. & Moss Jefferson Theatre. Arthur McHugh says it will be just fine. Will Morrissey had @ Jazz band strike up between the acts of “Toot Sweet” at the Nora Bayes Theatre last night. He said It would obviate any possibility of the previous act be- ing panned. Lew Fields, who has been rehears- ing his new show, “The Lonely Romeo.” at Terrace Garden, in a room te es eT ae ——— 7 COME ON! LE'S GET A MOVE ON IF WE'RE JGONNA FINISH “THIS Y'won't LEMME GET : L HATE see y'ceT ACAR — AN YET ‘say Be WRINKLES ON YOUR FACE OH~ GO AHEAD AND GET a cart mvt my! & ALL IN ALREADY? Wednesday night by announcing he was going to lecture on “Do Gaiters Cover a Multitude of Shins?” “—"_ FOOLISHMENT, Whlle riding one day in a blimp, Miss Goofus proceeded to primp. When told she should stop, Bhe said; “If we drop, The corpse mustn't look jike a simp.” FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE, “Buccess comes in cans.” “And faiture in can'ts. 19, Frey Fup Co find that ticket. I want to know Y Bve World « ° 1 Whaen Twa polupn’—-Yoath'e Cscopa ? NOBORY fon, GRANDFATHER. HE NEVER. WE WAS WE ALWAYS HE'S THE LANDLORD WHO REDUCES YOUR RENT. CAVE HER. SOP7E. Send a*Nobody* to “Grindstone George’ L077LE GFT, Sou TOKEN OF Love 70 FORGOT GRANQ- CVOTHER'S BIRTA- DAY OR, THE/R. WEDOING ANMIVER SAR Y WLVER, SO BUSY O07 THAT H& 7OOK, THE Tia TO OOSLRVE THOSE ~_WAPPY DAYS, sa FELONGEO To THE OL SCHOOL, HE WAS A AN OF SEM TIENT AND FEELING PARING HIM DOWN. FTER five unsuccessful years of running horses, the owner had At last triumphed, but surely | there was never such bad luck, He Se Me YER had won his first! vAUse TEE wnt wo ONE 13 LOOKING! race all right, but} Va the jockey was | overweight. | The owner was| Bloomy. The jockey | was gloomy, ‘nd aspect was decid- edly gloomy, but it | cleared somewhat | when the owner widled up to the; Jockey and said: “Can't you think of | something to lessen your weight?” “Don't think A “Have you shaved?" | was to be hoped for there, and the owner's face resumed its look of | gloom, until suddenly another idea! WAT rane Nee ONS, ° | TOOK HIM AND HE JUMPED INTO THE occurred to him. “Here,” he said, rot - BB OOWN TO THE LAKE TO MEET A buck “give me your false teeth when no- LAKE FOR A WALK HE K body is jooking.”—Judge | eieaiuieiiine wo | TOO COSTLY. | 66 ANT I sell you a nice, stylish | Gi suit of clothes to-day, Mr.| Johnson?" insinuated the proprietor of an emporium at Tum linville, “No, I reckon not,” replied Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “I never buy a new mult except when 1| am going to be converted at the re- vival, and only get converted when 1 jhave @ new suit, The way times is, | alm to postpone both for @ year or | two."—Kanmas City Star, | —_— ONE OF MAN’S TRIBULATIONS. | tor passed through the car again, the ticket was still mi “On, Virtue ts Its own reward of course, | Bishop, it will be all_right-if yo Sabine. fether, dineouraping thing| meveryfind 11," ¢ mt © live In atriet accord ens he condyptor' assured ance with the dictates of cunacience Ls jim. "No, it won't, my sriend,” con- PPPiciea the Bishop, “T’'ve got to that all you get credit for its pig- bendednems—Obio State Journal,