The evening world. Newspaper, May 16, 1919, Page 26

CULV eS CCl: The Biorld. : ESTARLISHED BY JOSEPH PuLtTZEe. ‘ y, Non. en ey ae OT ee hee tee jon. 63 ta 4, ateres AODAHER OF THK ASROCIATED FHIBS, | cred’ iS" the paper nd"Sing "local sews ‘pla Friday, Ce a ORIAL PAGE May 16, 10919 fy Fsgeaead +o wae tlatereh aa a ee THE “AIRGONAUTS.” y | greater warmth and enthusiasm than those of a more E inventions and discoveries ultimately proving least | “teeta character.” ‘ iW Pity he couldu’t come back to life for a few days in 1919— beneficial to mankind have generally been received with © the stodgy, mid-Victorian chronicler who thus recalled with superior goutempt the popular excitement that had grected the first European ‘experiments with aircraft in the preceding century. “Balloons occupy senators, philosophers, ladies, everybody,” wrote “Herace Walpole toward the end of 1783. But even the progressive ‘end engaging Horace took care not to appear overimpressed by what ‘he chose to call the “Airgonauts” : “If the project be ever brought to perfection, though 1 apprehend it will be addled, like the ship that was to live under ‘water, and never came up again bd ° on It will be seen that Horace’s scepticism here led him doubly astray on what were to be the two most important developments of vuman discovery and invention in a later périod. fi ag a Horatian fancy play with a popular topic. In 1784, after Blanchard "| ‘atade his first ascent from Paris in a hydrogen balloon to which he | hed attached wings and a rudder, and when England was agog over 4 i the aerial exploits of Lunardi, De Moret, Tytler and other sensational sféllowers of the Montgolfiers, Walpole writes to a friend: “T’other night I diverted myself with a sort of meditation on future Girgonation, supposing it will not only be perfectod, but will depose navigation. * * * I chiefly amused myself with ideas of the change that would be made in the ‘world by the substitution of balloons for ships. I supposed our to become deserted villages; and Salisbury Plain, New- market Heath and all downs arising into dockyards for aerial vessels, . . . m “Then to come to my ship newe: “"The good balloon, Daedalus, Capt. Wingate, will fly in a few days for China; he will stop at the Monument to take in “‘Arrived on Brand-Sands, the Vulture, Capt. Nabob; the Snow, from Lapland; the Dreadnought, from Mount . Hamfiton commander; the Tympany, Montgolfler. in @ burricane, the Bird of Paradise from Mount the Bubble, Sheldon, took fire and was burnt to her and the Phoenix is to be cut down to a second . ad a . “There will be fights in the air with wind guns and bows and arrows, and there will be prodigious increase of land for tillage, especially in France, by breaking up al) public roads H as useless.” : All this does credit to the sprightly Walpole imagination. Never- _, theless the eyes of this sophisticated Georgian would have narrowed | & polite ineredulousness if anybody had tried to tell him that in less than a century and a half, in all seriousness, Englishmen and their} American descendants would be starting eastward through the atmoe-| phere to croas the Atlantic in craft the most of which would be far} ‘heavier instead of lighter than the air that bore them. . “Titis enormous capital (London),” says Horace airily, “that must have some occupation, is most innocently amused with those} | philosophic playthings, air balloons. Little he knew the terrible nights, the tragic losses, the ghastly @angers London wes to undergo because of those same “philosophic playthings.” As giant seaplanes and naval dirigibles, developed yet further toward perfection in the experience of war, set out on the well- _ eharted course of their first transatlantic flight, driven by powerful / Sempact engines that aro among the foremost of Twentieth Century its, guided and helped by mechanism and instruments the |} most marvellous that science has produced, it is interesting to look " to a time when the best informed Englishman alive regarded ith half-contemptuous amusement the “airgonauts,” one of whom, he heard, “bought three or four thousand pounds in the stocks by exhibiting his person, his balloon, and his dog and cat, at the *Pantheon’ for a shilling each visitor.” Aa) a a an 6 So now the Republican Senators know: The only certain way they can assure the retirement of Woodrow Wilson to Private life is {o vote for the League of Nations. We shall see what we shall see. The Nation as a whole has ceased to be greatly interested in the petty partisan motives and dilemmas of the Republican Senatorial group. An overwhelming majority of Americans have taken the measure of these obstructionists and are now solely concerned with the ultimate result—that the United States shall stand by the best that has been gotten out of this war for the future safeguarding of peace. Let these i ‘anti-Wileon Senators vote on the League and Treaty from any | motives they choose, so long as they vote with, not against, | the will of the country. ——————- + Noboily ever agreed with everybedy else about deccrations, The Victory Arch and the other Fifth Avenue embe!lishments | may not please the fastidious, but they unquestionably con- veyed the spirit that prompted them. Permanent war memorials are another matter, It is better to wrangle in advance over designs and plans than to regret later and longer over unchangeable marble, ae Letters from the People TWANKS EVENING WORLD FOR| Avenue, so that the ITS STAND ON PROHIBITION, | children could wee the seats for recro- | "Pe the Bator of The Evening Worid: |ation in the afternoons and capeciatly } gl take the Uberty to try and|'¢ evenings during the coming bot| Ine ening World for the) *¥mmer months, support it has given and| Every one will agree with me that Pm sure will still give to the people, !t !8 up to the City of New York to| to Prohibition? sive every aid and comfort to its He splendid interest it gives us| ¢!t!zens as much as possible and, with ge to fight this outrage which| the continuation of these stands, I thrust upon the people by a|®™ sure the citizens will appreciate ignorant, bigoted hypocrites. the privilege given them, Evening World should be in| 0t believe that any man, work! child will abuse the privileg Most of our boys have rr | the city did its part 20m | | them, and let's continue the patriotic FIFTH AVENUE. | feeling and, give the citizens and their Béitor of The Lvening Wotd: |families the use of the stands tor that the aim of youg paper recreation this sumer, lays to serve the people of this} Hoping you wil! agree with me in, rer} ible, 1. think | my »: ition and knowing that you ys ready to serve the people itizens end thelr) Nevertheless he was willing enough to let the well-known | | —— 4 os capers SESH Sa reek By Helen Rowland Copyright, 1919, by the Press Publishing Co. (The New York Evening World). No, [x.—The Cyclone His Wife Lives ihe Life of a Fireman—but She Never Finds it Lull AVE you a little TNT in your home? f Are you by chance married to the Human Cyclone, the Typhoon, the domestic Vesuvius? You know him! He is a good” husband—a kind, efficient, money- making, money-spending, “peppy” husband, . A hustler downtown and a fire alarm around .the © house! If you are his wife, you live in a state of perpetual xpectancy—eternal vigliance, continual preparedn With your “harness” always on and your clothes hanging ready for you to drop into, like a fireman's} You are ready for an alarm at any moment! Your nerves are all insulated and wrapped In cotton batting—they HAVE to be! It is @ case of becoming either. a lump of protoplasm or an inmate of Matteawan! } Your table is a quick-lunch-ready-to-serve affair, 1 Your house is a cross between # hotel and an emergency hospital, with the spare room bed made up and waiting for any chazice guest be may bring home unexpectedly between noon and midnight. At any moment from 5.30 to 8.30 P. M. the Cyclone bursts violently through the front door like a Kansas tornado. “H'lo!” he cries chéerily. “Dinner ready? Well, speed up! Speed up! Speed up! “Got tickets for a show! Hurry and jump into something—any old thing. And hustle out my evening clothes—there's a dear! “Couldn't telephone—just thought of it at the last minute. “Great show, Smith says! Well? Well? WELL? When do we eat? Where's the soup? Is this a funeral? “Where's my new vest? Those trousers come back from the tallor to-day? “Anybody seen my studs and cuff-links? “Good Lord! We'll miss the first act. An’ say, 1 engaged a table at Partridge’s and invited the Browns for supper. “What? Headache? Oh nonsense! Do you good. Put pep into you, “fell John to have the car ‘round in fifteen minutes, Well? Well? L? WHEN do we get any dessert? Ouch! That coffee’s hot! Ready? Where's my hat? Where's my muffler? Where're my gloves? C'm on! C’m on! Never mind the frills! You look sweet enough to kiss, anyhow! (You see, he 1S a nice husband!) “Great scott We're late. See if we can make it in twenty minutes!” And after you bave torn around in his wake from theatre to restau- rant and from supper to cabaret and on and on until you are whirled back home in the wee small houfs—JUST as you sink exhausted onto your pillow, You heat his alarm clock go off! And there he is—UP! And whistling like a little skylark, full of pep, cheery, chirpy, radiant! Hey there, Dearie! Turn on the shower, will you? “Tel! Angelina to hustle on the breakfast! Gotta date for 930, ? S'more cream quick! (Gulp, guip, sputter!) Where's my light coat? Where's the newspaper? Bye-bye!” (Peck on the cheek.) “Where's my ha Speed up! Speed up! Speed up! Bang goes the front coor. Whe-ew! Heavenly rest—he's gone! Oh yes, he’s a good husband—a nice, jovial, loving, generous husband, And if you like that kind of lite—and don't weaken—it's great! But you could get the same sensation by living on the crater of a volcano or in the earthquake zone of California or the Kansas cyclone belt. The Jarr Family By Roy L. McCardell by the Preas Publishing Co, “hy (The New York Brening World), ous ID you ever see the way that you ask why your wives aren't up to young girls dress and fix date and dressing that way or fixing themselves up these dave?" | their hair that way.” asked Mrs, Jarr, as she displayed to Mr. Jarr’s gaze a page full of plo- The Perfect Ladies’ Journal that 5 labelled “1919's Rosebud Garden of Girls, Fashion Portraits of | | “What's wrong with the chickens? | askod Mr. Jarr. “They look good to me.” “Chickena!” repeated Mrs, Jerr. don't like the phrase! And, “ further. ( more, some of these debutantes don't look like chickens to me. I think it’s the way they dress their hair that makes them look #0 mature, Whea I was a young girl, I dressed my hair \.ike @ young gir!” “You look like a young girl just the same to me now,” sald Mr. Jarr, who was jaying pipes to make a getaway, “I hope not; at least not like some of the young girls of these days,” re- plied Mrs, Jarr, but she did not say it with any asperity, “But as { was saying,” she went on, “I don't see why young girls want. to look old. They paint and powder"—- “Women do that to look young, I thought,” said Mr, Jarr, “Old women may paint and powder to look young, but young wome to look old,” replied Mrs. Jarr, can afford to be patient, 1 think, turity comes all too quickly, with crow's-foet around the eyes aad nay- ging chin.” “Don't you said Edward Jorr, diplomat. “Those things have nothing on you. You jook jike a kid.” Mrs, Jarr was not scholared in slany or she would have asked him if he were saying that for one, She took his words as well intended and patted her hair down over her ears, o “Do you like the new style of wear- ing the hair?” she asked. To explain what she meant, she po!nted an indicative finger at the picture of ene of the debutantes who most conspicuously had her hair mat- ted down over her auricular ap- pendages. “Is that Jar “That's the ver the latest?” asked Mr, Was the agcertain!” cried Mrs, Jarr, reply. “Don't you think It's pretty?" “4 do not,” replied Mr, Jarr, “That's the way with you men,” said Mra, Jarr. “You always object to {what's In style-when it first comes! “That's the I'd never fuss because you didn’t wear your hair over your ears like a Hottentot belle,” said Mr. Jarr. “Oh, yes you would!” was the reply. “Just let the style come in that way and you'll insist that I fix my hair that way too, Don't you remember you asked me yourself to wear a rib- bon filet around my hair?’ “Weil, why don't you?" asked Mr. Jarr, ‘Because it's gone out of style,” was the reply. "The latest thing 4n filets is pearis or an open band of gold or silver braid, But the very newest thing--one was brought over from Paris for Clara Mudridge- Smith—is a Turkish turban of rich Sapevensanicat onamined green, at /- ing the real Orienth! effevt. You'll see those turbans wil] be ad the rage! “You sure do get hep to all the styles in advance!” said Mr. Jarr, with @ note of admiration in his voice. “Yes, it's too bad that I can fore- tell what's to be the style and then can't afford to wear it when It's in,’ she said with a sigh, ‘This was dangerous ground and Mr. | Jarr hedged. ." he sald, “but it's not atone that you can tell what ts coming IN; you can also tell what's going OUT, Why, remember you told me when petticoats were going out!” Mrs, Jarr sat bolt upright “I never told you anything of the kind!" she said shrity, “Lt is true they have gone out—have ween: out some years, But I didn't tell you. What I want to know |s, WHO did? Answer me that, Edward Jarr! What lady is on such confident.al with you to. impart such matters?” + dei intimate jo!" erled the bewtldered Mr, Jurr, “you DID tell me. Honest, you did! Don't you remember?" “T certainly Aid not,” said Mrs, Jarr firmly. “And 1 do want to know who dit" “Doggone it! Who else do I discuss such things with? asked the be- wiidered Mr, Jarr, “That's what I am endeavoring to “Who was it? 1 never remomber discussing the matter with you, that's sure, One day Mrs, Stryver was here and men- toned it"—— iknow I beard atin terms | \ Delhi held a ramble and bunt along Gooseneck Creek Saturday afternoon. The club Is composed to a large cxtent of members of the Women’s Betterment League, and while they hunt for four-leaf clovers they talk over various plans affect- ing the other organization, Prompt- ress Pertie of the League was elected leader of the hunt Saturday, and she | took the ladies along at a lively pace. | But to get to the story proper: | | In the party, as an honored guest, was none other than Miss Ellabelle Mae Doolittle, the noted poetess. Ordinarily Miss Doolittle would not have been out bunting four-leaf clo- vers, as she is decidedly averse to} |plucking themt from their stems and ‘thus. murdering innocent clovers. Murder /s a strong word, but she put |it that way one day when asked to pick a dundelion, | The ladies had passed the city dump and had gone up Scrabble Hol- | low when Mrs. Cutey Boggs, who was in the lead, stopped and held up one band. “Ladies—halt!" think"— “Just a moment, | Promptress F | she called, “l Cutey,” snapped le. “What right have you tw give orders? Am I not the | leader? Can't you see?” | “Yes, I can see,” replied Mra, Boggs | |very uppishly, “but it's what I can |see that made me give the order.” | “And,” said Mra, Pertle, supercili- Jousty, “will you kindly inform us what you see that is of so much im- portance “L see a big blacksnak: came the lieally there Is no other word to express It, Bing! The ladies turned and began to scramble in all directions except toward the snake. Miss Doolittle was astounded, She knew that Dlacksnakes are not poisonous, but perhaps Cutey had mistaken the brand of snake. Who could tell? Not a soul, so Ellabelle Mae Doolittle, the noted poetess—the young woman who sent tho poem en- titled “Whoopla!” to Vice. President Marshaliskinned up a@ tree and| climbed out on a limb, Ah me! |said Mr, Jarr, with al! tho earnest- ness at his commaad. Mrs. Jatr looked puzzled a moment, i but finaliy gave him the benefit of | [Ellabelle Mae Doolittle By Bide Dudley abt, 1018, by the Press Publishing Co. ‘Copyright, . The Ladies! Blessings on Their Heads—and Turbans!|Noted Lelhi Poeiess Reads an “Advice” Poem (The New York Brening World). From the Limb of a Tree. HE Four-Leaf Clover Club of Famous people are often so ridic- | ulously impulsive! The rest of the ladies had found points of safety. Most of them had climbed into an old wagon—a pic- turesque old vine-covered abandoned ash wagon—and there they stood crowded and cranky, It was at that point that the genius of Miss Doo- little came to the fore, From her pocket she pulled a poem, “Ladies,” she said, “while we are thus awaiting rescue, 1 wil, read you an original rhyme entitled, ‘Never Let Danger Scare You,’" “Go anead, Ellie,” said Promptress Fertile, standing on a barrel ten feet away from the wagon, “We might as well get literary.” Miss Doolittle then read the towing: Never let danger scare you, It is only @ big biug, It cannot bite you or tear you, So be brave—ah, that's the stuf! Life may be dark and very dreary, But why be afraid of gloom, Didn't Caesar get killed when weary, And is he not in the tomb? fol- | My sister's child, Tecney Ricketts, Jumped out of bed onto our cat, The cat spit and scratched and youwled, Now what do you think of that? But, speaking of danger—how foolish! Always keep your nerve, I pray, A certain member's husband came _ home last night And found the parlor full travelling men, The last two lnes caused the crowd to forget the snake, ‘They leaped to the ground and began an investigation, Miss Doolittle was forced to repeat the poem. The laties applauded with great gusto. All were pleased, Ae ES WAS HE THINKING HE WOULD HAVE TO FEED THEM? ICKEY was brought up on an isolated Texas ranch and his only playmates were rabbits, a dog, a cat and some pet pigeons. His mother, planning a visit to her relatives in the No ih, sald to him: “When we go, you'll have some little cousins te play with, You'll like that, won't you, Dicky?” “I'm not sure,” answered the little fellow. of How to Bea Better Salesman and Earn Bigger Pay i Coprrivht, 1919, Stabilizing the Truck Business. HE motor truck business ts one an of the most important of the more recently. developed in- dustries, As is usual with new indus- try, the truck business does not seem to be pro, wi. land woot @ pelle ing standpoint. 1 have before me a letter from E. J. F., a salesman of motor trucks. Let me quote from it: “Competition {s very keen in the truck business; much of it, [ believe, is unfair, For instance, you are sell- ing, or attempting to sell, a truck of a type of which there are several on the market, All these other trucks have practically the same Standard ‘specifications, Your truck sells tor ; (3% ton) $4,150; another sells for "$3,900, You will have to have some pretty convincing arguments ag to why your truck is worth the differ- jence, because the average buyer uf motor trucks to-day is a price buyer. “Another diMiculty arises where the sale hinges on the amount allowed the buyer on a used truck which re trades in on the new one, You may | will offer $800 and another perhaps $1,000. And the buyer usually takes the truck from the firm which al- | lows him the most for his used truck. “Then there comes the difficulty of | time payments. One house allows ten months’ time, another twelve months, another fifteen months and |soine eighteen months or two years, | Some demand a third down ag first | payment, others one-fourth down and some less than that. “You may say a great dead depends upon the service rendered, This Is a matter of vital Importance to the buyer, He uses a truck to help him make @ living and make money, so that if his truck is laid up for repairs very often, or if he does not get eer- vice, he is the one who suffers, “Drivers of trucks are another diffi- Jculty, They may give @ truck saiea- man a lead or @ prospect, and if the sale is made and the driver does not get a sufficiently large commission from the salesman he is apt to ‘knock’ that particular truck from By Roy Gnftith 7 the Prov Publishing Co. (The New York Evening World) offer the buyer $600, one competitor | * the salesman’s entire commission.” E. J. F.’s letter brings out soine in- teresting points. Motor trucks to-day are pretty well standardized as to spe- cifications and performance. This be- ing true, it would seem as though truck manufacturers would now turn their attention to standardizing their selling methods. In every big ‘com- petitive industry almost there is some ‘sort of selling agreement. I do mot mean to say that there should be any- thing remotely resembling a “combi- nation in restraint of trade,” but as long 49 competitors in a sales game are playing against each other, in fair competition, there should be laid down a few rules at If another com- petitor wants to come in let Ajm do so, but explain the rules, Foy instance, trucks of the same standard specifications could) tt would weom, be sold at the same price, All the firms give good service, so there would be no particular ad- vantage there. A scale of allowances for used trucks could be worked out. so as not to give any one firm an undue advantage. A schedule of standard time payments could be ar- ranged, Commissions to truck drivers ould absolutely eliminated. Truck buyers should co-operate tm the stamping out, of this practlee, Suppose I am buying @ truck, How do I know that the truck which one of my drivers recommended is the one I want to buy-the one that will give me the particular kind of service I want? He gives hie indorsement to the truck from whose salesman he will recetve the largest commission— and [ have to pay the commission in the end, Frank discussion between manu- facturers in the same lino, a deter- mining of what ts a fair profit nd what are honest competitive selling methods benefits both manufacturer and consumer. If one manufacturer succeeds in lowering his production cost, there are two courses open— either he will make more money as a result of his efforts at lowering the cost or else all the other manufactu- rers can make the same savings and, the price of all trucks lowered, ig, one manufacturer gives better servies he is entitled to, and will get, more business than bis competitors, Let the competition be on the question \