The evening world. Newspaper, December 23, 1918, Page 14

tS ‘ak a Lg 23 AERTSE _ cs ye COMIC PAGE Monday, December 23, 1918 | RY MIXUP ~ LITTLE MA Uncle Ezra Will Have to Wait All Winter for a Thrill! Y tien ONCLE EZRA \ WE CANT Even HEAR é T THUNDER, About Plays and Players By BIDE DUDLEY ATURDAY our wite called us to) nickel” 1 said. “That'll make it a er and sald: “Sweebeart, we) TOUS te sowing-unsket day, My ust go to the meee bd wife ‘finally bought a bag that cost our Christmas abopping. your] more than you'd suspect to look at it, Poxetbook full of money and follow] and we dived ahead to get Sister Eather ’ @ present my a I broke open the baby's bank | | We'll go to the silk hose counter," cobble ton dy | said my wife. and we started out. | “Fine!” 1 replied. “Do they have nad ploughed through | models over there to show one how the After we had ploug zh | models over ther 28,000 women in one big store my wife | stockings look?” gilnc Mada said they had nothing thore that Wel ee do not,” she replied. , could use . | “How about a chair?" I asked | “For whom-—sister or Cousin Jona- than?” “Neither,” You must secak LOUDER — PooR UNCLE EZRA 1S GETTING UNCLE EZRA You'Re Not MISSING ANY THIAc My wife elbowed three other women | one side so I could pass, On my way! over I saw another male victim. He, also, was following a young line- 1f|#masher around, looking doletul. 1 | put_on a jittle pep and gained his sid ND I don’t get a chance to #it dOWD) ) oered him my hand and he too | \ on I'm going to collaps Our grip was pof sympathy. J tte 70 ie tometer,” ond | few Sncmente later? nw bic battered | | mt i ion Jup against 4 post by a little blond ( said, “We haven't started yet.’ | yy oustin AILS I replied. “For me. {woman pent on getting a pen-wiper And, oh, boy, we hadn't. ™ for a school teacher friend. ‘At Greetem & Sweetem's store we | There really is no reason to extend hevete 000 nen who bad| this narrative unduly. I followed my A ~ sae thalde. to fight, rather than | wife through erowds of exactiy 4000-| THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY The Real “Blow” Would Fall on Luke, and She Has a Heavy Hand! vhich were al- | 000 women and finally we flopped into| block the sidewalks, whic & taxicab with our arms full of all) “S TOUGH FoR TH’ WIFE TO BE SICK ABED -BUT OH! Boy! IT SuRE HAVE ENDCYED y block | Sorts of things. I stretched out in the Beall we get mother a bag?” asked) cay and went to sleep. Last night the doctor came. ! “You're threatened with Influenza,” he said. “I'd rather have it than go shopping OH! SHES GETTIN’ ON FINE = SES TELL HER NoT TO WORRY ABOUT HER DEAFNESS AS \TS MERELY AN’ INDICATION my wife mpare, * Treplied. “Get her a nice| @riped one to put rags in.” O94 Press Pus Co (Oy Eve Wert) _WELL- Hows MY WIFF” “TO-DAY -ER- WOULD ‘You MIND TELLIN’ HER A rag-bag for mother! Horrors! | again ‘Doo, I replied, “Just then my TH OLE HOME ~SE® Doin’ “poe? OF ADVANCIN' ‘YEARS ¢ SOURSELF * Dod’ ? What an idiot you are,” said my wife? wife came in. AS I PLEASED ? “Has he influenza, Doctor?’ she, wutting an elderly fat woman aside. | asked, aded bag with © micr| "No" replied Doc. “He's suffering! dt € bin ka in.” | with @ severe case of shopperitis,” y and toilet th Ray ‘I'd never take . y gor” 1| And os he left he said ell, why didn't you say 80 He isn't strong | “Here we've lost at least five Hon dae again | minutes because we dint yrax.| I know a certain doctor bill that’s cr « hanabae, My dear, you're | 69ing to be paid without delay, 1 do, | ere occ a bit angry, but wel BY WAY OF DIVERSION. | ploughed ahead and finally came | Old Peter plays an organ in the owcase filled with bugs. My wife/street before my bome. Its music's | worse than that we nade as children | thie?” she asked. [on acomb. The neighbors kick «: | The Jady in the pencil behind the) time he starts and order him awa: counter gave a giggle, as though to| He used to make me cranky, too, tl say in giggle language, “Watch mo just the other day. Last week I saw | Ee a CTO no this anxious-looking gink With /a little girl out there by Peter's side. | her.” nghe suid: One hand was in his horny paw, her | ~! “Pifty-nine dollal 's marked! eyes were open wide. “Oh. Daddy, , down from se | ie) 1 heard her say. “Ia Santy soon?” A tear appeared on Pe-| reek AS he ground out his tune. I'd seen enough; I passed the hat, ex- plaining why I did, and soon @ jot of |Shiny coins we gave the little kid, Old dea 3 . comin’ a til never get | ter's cl family, no matter I was mad, “What'd you mark it down for?” I said anywhere in our r how far down you chalk | Then 1 pushed four or {ive strug- gling women out of the way and got 4 clear verbal passago to my Ww “Listen, dear!” 1 said. iu nk | we'd better get your mother a sewing | basket with a lovely lot of steel necdles and a thimbie just oozing out of it.” “How silly!" ehe replied. “Mother feldom sews. “But if we gave her @ basket sho might so plumb crazy over sewing. Honestly, I bet she'd sit up nights and sew. I saw a peach of 4 sewing | nt over there where you { lady gouging the other woma on it was $2. . “Do you 1! give «nother anything that cost only ay EXPERT ADVICE. 66] ONCE engaged board and lodg- | ing at the house of a retired | New England sea captain,” | ays a New York | artist, “and trom | him I received eal some sincere ad- vice. “One day, while Twas busy paint- ing, 1 beca’ @were that the captain was @tanding behind me, gazing at the ganvas Over my whoulder, *"How do you like it? I asked. | “Now, it chanced that the captain's | rouse had been without an artlet Woarder for several years and that I ‘Was the first follower of the impres- wionist school it had ever harbored. “The old seadog gazed thoughtfully et the lower right hand corner of the qenvas, where I had thrown a mnass of parti-colored splashes and eploches. “*You're kinder young,’ seid the captain, kindly. “This is your first summer outdoors at it? °"Yes.’ “Well, now, see here,’ resumed the captain. “There's two or three old palettes up in our shed-chamber. You © get one of those and try out your paints on that instead of on your picture, You'll have to lose that whole corner of your canvas, I'll bet you, and it'll make your picture con- siderable smaller, I wouldn't do that again if | was you.’ "—Harper’s Mug- acine. ! — SURE GURE. | EDTON was always complaining} B of his wife's memory, | “She can never remember any- thing,” said he. “It’s awful!” | “My wife was just as bad,” said} a “tll I found @ capital re- Why,” said Clinker, “whenever there's anything particular 1 want the| M™ussus to remember I write it on a ap of er and gum it on the look-| ig glass.”"—London Answers. NEEDED MORE MEAT. 3 two actresses in ¢ mine," #aid oth very beau but leading actress was She quarreled one day tifa, thin. the Aurea! with the other iad paded ho quarrel Bie oe meme] Peter smiled a then I heard him sa: Santy’s comin’ soon. on my way. lvery sternly, grateful smile and “You bet old And I went A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. | A faint heart has often been won| by a fair lady.—Grigsby. FOOLISHMENT. eked for her carfare, Mra. Hocking “Well, 1 declare—tlue ls mocning or | caunot pay, toa Tm sorry a Her money wan all {a her bureas drawer at home FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE. | “Whalebone is now a very valuable by reel | “Corset is.” When Said haughtily, ‘Remember, please, that [ tho ‘star.’ ‘Yes, 1 know you're the other retorted, eyeing with’ an| amused smile the leading actress’, Jong, slim figure, “but you'd look bet-| —————__ HER Loss, Tushed into the manager's office. | er has fled with the jewels I'm to, wear to-night.” | star,’ tho| ter, my dear, if you were a little! meteor!'"—London Tit-Bits. HE great mystery play was just about to start, when the herot “What shall 1 do?” she cried. “Somoe- thing awful has happened! My dress- “What's gone?” asked the manager, “Oh,” cried the heroine distressediy, | “the diamond tiara, the ruby necklace. | and all the diamond rings and gold | bracelets!" | ‘The manager frowned and pondered. | “You must pay for this!" hie said. | “You were responsible for the jews! chest. I shall deduct two-and-nine ce from your week’ lary,"— Rondon ‘Tit-Bits, ae >. A PROBLEM OF THE FUTURE, 66 (7V OOD morning, children,” sasq the arithmetic teacher, “How, Many of you have prepared | an original problem in multiplicat\ as I requested?" Only one han up. “Well, William, you m problem and the may solve it.” “If my baby sister iy a year old now and weighs twenty pounds, und keeps on gaining two ounces a day until she is sixteen years old, and it the price of living doubles again in the next ten years, how much wil! my sister's graduation ” your rest « class outfit cost? Mother says she would like to Know."~Minneapolis Journal, HERE SHE GOES, THERE SHE GOES. RANK C, DAIL ttorne @ true tale An Indianapolis business man of mature years received @ lett his secretary, and after t vain to read the written w: the secretary to wend it Wayne, whence it came form the sender he had to write, “But, sir, this ts a letter and sent to It. Wayne,” tary replied. from to and to “Well, send it back and tell them to learn to read,” thundered the boss,— 0 he JOE’S CAR | Cnerright, AN Pree PMtERNg Ca OM. Y. Rvening World) There’s a Fly in Joe’s Xmas Ointment! S WHY =--Yeu HEVER L \ Ld ME You'd SOLD | OuR ob car! — a ial 3 (you'p NEVER GUESS IN | | A MILLION YEARS — / Jus’ come an’ SEE! SOE! You darLine THING" OH, You DEAR Boy —-! ; How Lovely!) COME ON Y LIL RaSscaL! COME AN’ SEE YoUR XMAS PRESENT LIL’ Joe GOT FOR YOU! GET YouR Coat ay Gosh — L, \ \1 HAVEN'T \ SOLD IT! Deny a6 WHAT Sort 0’ CHARUE AIN'T TH'SORT 0’ OH SEE WHAT 1 YA CAN SEE Waar CUSAION WOULD GUY TS BOTHER ABour HAROLO'S Gort SOMEGODY's Gonna YA EXPECT TOOTSIE FANCY CUSHIONS! ITS A FANCY FRILL GET FOR A PRESENT AHO WooTsiz To JUST SLAPS AN OLD CUSHION! BETCHA FROM DAISY! IT'S A Have! IT's Gora PILLOW ONDER HIS NUT Some GIRL MAGE CUSHION MADE our Gosn! PawS Ger Holo OF AIS OLD WILLIE, FINDS A CUSHION FAITAFOL AEA\ ORES PLANS iste BAKES A DANDY YA LOO! IT'S SHEDDIN’ ITS FEATAERS PUNCHAIN’ GAG! LIKE A CAHICIKEN MOULTIN’! OW, SLUSH! Wr act A FOOLISH IDEA ‘To PUT RIDICOCLOUS Morrore enue, YA_MIGHT Ex PECT PRS HORS Foe rarer ANO THERE TARE! IT FoR. HIM ~ A CIGAR RIBBONS ri _ = y “I To at POSARO GETCHA ir's Gor AN TRUCK LiKE | Gos! iTS comin'ra| | STOR SHAtIN' IT, \ Parrtehones. \ Siron-r° : lia) PERFUME ONT; THAT! wren You | PlECES!GuEss YA | ) CA 11074 CUSHIONS! AE SouLontved. Teol, THINK WAoMAcE | BETTER TTC IT Mae cae Fis EM UP with} BEE A rit G : WE GoT A r Girt! TA Geter! STOoL-MEMBee mM! | QD CARPET CovERED \ COSWION “Tm KICKED ? ROUND TH FLooR MELANCHOLY Mmavoe cS) Jl 7 ay OM mcs} George Is Like the Rest of Us After All! ‘| “Tlobody ee } Vend a Nobody’ te Grivdutere 6 se | He warts untsl Christmas te open the package GRINI one Fars Pub, |ON eve Wente) A