The evening world. Newspaper, September 9, 1918, Page 14

i ee a ae ae eee About Plays] land Players By BIDE DUDLEY_} well AMES G. DAY, a lawyer, J known in Broadway and the- atrical circles, was passing & couple of men at Fifth Avenue and Mth Strect the other day when be heard one say: “We'll knock h—li out of the United Btates.” “That's what we will,” responded the other. | Mr. Day stepped up. “Tm a part of the United States,” he said. “Sup- pose you begin right now.” With that be hit one man in the Jaw and knocked him out. A blow to the eye put the other down. An/ Irish policeman came running Up. “What's going on here?” he de- manded roughly. “These men,” replied Mr. Day with & smile, “said the United States would get h—ll knocked out of it, and T've just been showing them where they're wrong.” “Huh!” came from the cop. “Do yez need me club?” “Doesn't look like it," said the lawyer, still grinning. ‘After the officer had revived the defeated pair and marched them away, Mr. Day said to a friend: “I have heart trouble and they won't take me in the army, So I have te do my fighting here.” BY WAY OF DIVERSION. I went to a show—twas a musical zhow. I had a nice seat in the very first row. They said tt was funny; 1 hoped they were right, for I felt tho need of amusement that night. The jexter appeared and the crowd clapped ite hands. His humor, they sald, was of various brands. His jokes were all new and in each was a grin, my had informed me before I came in. He looked us all over and then he began: “My wife used my razor to open a can.” The crowd ‘whooped it up; they were crazy with gies, although I had heard it tn '73. And then (se related the fowl episode —the one of the chicken that crouses the road. My neighbor leaned over and eaid: “Ain't he great? His stuff is darn good and it's right up to date.” Next night I went out to the home of a friend. I merely dropped iu thirty minutes to spend. I told him the tale of the razor and can. He frowned and replied: “What's got into you, man? That story was brought to this land by the Dutch. It’s almost as funny as somebody's crutch.” But when I explained where the joke could be heard, he laughed and replied: “Say, that fellow's a HE'D LOST IT. wn Eade ned = Leaps tet gets dome @uck com: @ little nephew named Billy Beymour. The other day Billy came running into the house and confronted WIM. Billy was cry- ing. “What's the matter?” Will shouted up to him. “1—I lost #¢," howled Bily. “Lost what? “My ant. I caught it and put ¢t tn m ket. Now it’s gone.” ell, don’t cry,” said Will patting the lad’s knees affectionately. ‘“To- morrow Unkey will bring Dilly home a io" It did the work. Bifty bushed. PLAYWRIGHTS ELECT. ‘The Playwrights’ Club has elected officers as follows: President, Rohert Btodart; Firat Vice-President, Gustav Bium; Second Vice President, Tade- ma Buaslere; Secretary and’ Treas- urer, L<o Seidman; Recording Secre- tary, E. ¥. Hague; Publicity Man- ager, Robert L.«Beecher. ‘The Ad- visory Committees is composed of Richard A. Purdy, Bdward Clark, Matthew White jr, Rita Welman, J.| B. Larric and Percival Wilde. Met: | ings will be held in the rooms of the Society of American Dramatists and | Composers, | OBSERVATIONS. | & New York preacher .begs people to pray for victory. It's good advice, providing you buy War Savings Stamps between prayers. | It has been discovered that a bag of sand, tied to a mule's tall, will keep him from braying. But unleas you're from the mule country, you'd better Jet bim bray. A STRONG MAN. “Is he a strong man morally!" asked Tom Gill, Dictator of the Round Table contingent at the Friars, refer- ring to an actor, | “{ should say he is,” replied Dr. J Lewengood. “He can rosist anything ‘but temptation.” GossiP. ‘The new Shubert theatre, the Cen- tral, will open to-night with “Forever “After,” with Alice Brady featured. — | Charles Dillingham has found tt necessary to engage two additional 1 Hippodrome. | by Roi Cooper Megrue, Will be installed in Maxine | Piliott's Theatre by Selwyn & Co.,| Sept. 19 | Harry J, Padden, assistant booking | manager for B. 8. Moss, has gone to an army camp at Syracuse G. H. Dodson, son of J, . Dodson the actor, was kill: an action in France on Aug. 8 Canadians. ‘There will be a complimentary per- formance of Oliver D. ley’s play, “Over There,” at the F for soldiers and sail opening will take night. » was with the n to-night ‘The regular to-morrow A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. Violet De Lancey Worthington of jaw which wil nd to take his permit a hus name FOOLISHMENT. mely girl always has one « rw mre that te : ell be & pretty old one if she tives long enough.” . i T Dont want F co ovER 16 AUNT EDNAS — BUT MISTER YINKS, AY TANK VE BETTER NOT TAKE DAS CAR OUT “TODAY, BECAUSE —- 5 s SAY! HAVE 1 ASKED You FOR ANY ADvice? “BE CARILL RUN, Re DO THIS 16 YY" FIRST “RIP, 1 A SWELL DONT HUH T HICKEY “2 WELL How e oR INA, HAM EH ¥ ise A ri OVER TH SE {SF -Oxcuer.-, don THEY START 4 wo THE TEACHERS RIGHT IN AT SCHOOL, ND LITTLE OANNIE Prings TeAchERs tre! ward GRINDSTONE GEORGE "Orn HK Pree Pons ox | (Ts A GRAND DAY, AINT (T DEAR? 1o WONDER THEY RE ae! FIGHT! [AMES CAME BACI< 15 YEAR IN LONG ANTS — O04 ‘YOU FirsT PUT‘EM ON? co MIC PAGE Monday, September 9, 1918 Au RIGHT The Go OVER To NoT MANY CARS OUT -FoR SUCH FINE WEATHER ¢ EMBER WHEN 1 Hoo... PROUDY CAT: HOt? Back aca? I thovent I cave You A NICKEL TS STAY OVER AY AUNT DNAS thous LITTLE FANNIE ri) Lin’?S GoTTA BE GOA*EO To © Eee Ww VZ (Err LEAVE (\T PAYS “TS NUSIANCE = More NICKE STAYIN: AWA’ FOLKS THAN GOIN'TS SEB JOE \ wis pecause WE'RE USING UP GAS on SUNDAY ti! S FONNY BLANCHE — EVRYBODY RUBBERS AT US AS WE Go By! No. SAMES !!! ABouT IT IVE NEVER “TASTED OF ONE OF “THEM “THINGS IN ME LIFE ¢ DAWGON(T—DO “RAT WAITER! Now That School Has Opened Home Will Be a Quiet Place! EAR OLD NAME TEN ANIMALS THAT INAABIT THE mon’ Perrers! ERALD'S GoTTA AUS ANO THEY-cHALC ITN Sid QwaLiel” GEPA wO w <SVES GEKA ACHETe!, OH, BoYs An} POLAR REGIONS? WELL-JAmEst Book GI Rist Eaca Pup. ISA Jusr TAEN.. ine Wea 57ND \\ He passes Non: Essentiat Inoustries CAR OUT “TODAY. THEY CAN'T BO ANYTHING OurTwolncn SHELF LOOME LIMERIci¢— Sap A TEACHER WHO “ TALGHT INASCHOOL JooL A PEA oO HOOTER N THE BEAN HIT TAG “Nobody” Sard n'Nebedy’ te Grnditode George” paint 39@n without testing ifs veracity, IT BE A I eer LS FoR } ‘v FROM 8vl Ole Ive Gort & wet