The evening world. Newspaper, August 13, 1918, Page 10

TUESDAY, Our Two DozenAlderwomen New York’s Latest Order For Something Really New ‘As Officials They’re Purely Unofficial, and They Cost Nothing to Support. Why We Have ’Em Is Sim- ply This: As Each District Already Has Its “Father,’’ Why Not a “Mother” Too? The AUGU ST 13, 191 Question Has Twenty-Four Answers. By Marguerite Mooers Marshall Copyright, 1018, by The Pass Publishing Co, (The New Youk Rrening World) Alderwoman? HAT is an W She is the newest thing {n New York. Ghe is « purely anoff | cial official. She has no salary, not even a dollar a year. She | fs not trying to “work” City Hall, or to uplift it, or to do anything except co-operate with it simply and honestly. For herself she simply wants a new job—that of district mother. The Alderwoman—or, rather, the Alderwomen, for already twenty-four of them are at large—ie the inter- esting creation of New York's most truly representa- tive and powerful group of women, the Women's City Club, which has a membership of over 3,000, Of course the Alderwoman has no political or official standing, And neither she nor her sponsors AUGUST 13, 1918 Longfellow, Paraphrased, Shows Reason for Kaiser's Naming Him Favorite Poet His Preference for Works of American Bard Easily Understood When One Realizes How Aptly Wil- helm by the Simple Substitution of a Word Here and There Could Make Poet’s Lines Seemingly Apply to Himself—And Just to Show How This Might Have Been Done Here Are Some Concrete Examples. N Barracks SPoRTS DRAWN FOR THE EVENING WORLD BY LANCE CORPORAL E. KIRK, CARTOONIST FOR “TREAT *EM ROUGH,” OFFICIAL TANK CORPS PAPER, CAMP COLT, GETTYSBURG, PA. TE ORAFT BLEW SOME FUNNY THINGS INTO Mis Mans Army! Comin Feers! OuT SIDE! SNAR-OUT OF (T! We GOT A LITTLE DIGGIN’ Ter Dol! DYA KNOW Home Sweet HOME ? By Will B. Johnstone Copyright, 1918, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Erening Worl.) HE Kaiser speaks English with but the slightest accent. Mark ‘Twain was one of his favorite American authors and Leng- fellow his choice of American poets.” ‘So writes Dr. Arthur Davis in The Morning World. (Davis the Kai- ser’s dentist for fourteen years and to think he never let the drill elip with all that target entirely composed of nerve.) Poor Twain and Lorkfellow! Hark from the tomb thetr doleful pro- , tests at the above indorsement. The Kaiser won't let the dead rest tn peace. We can understand anybody with the Kaiser's keen eenge of humor and incorruptibility appreciating the author of “The Man Whe Corrupted Haddleysburg,” but why should he pick on the gentlest spirit in American HEY ‘CorP waen YER wi 3 GET'ER TUNED ‘ ! UP. PLAY US “Both they and we will have at heart the best interests of our respective * districts.” For the Woman's City Club is simply following the plan of the City Government, which divides Greater woe enon Alder New York into Aldermanic districta— | manic {27 tm the Borough of Manhattan, uM hin the Borough of Brooklyn, § in the) Tithice Borough ef Bronx, 5 in the Borough | our mombers to get in touch with of Quesme end % in the Borough of | cach other and with the club activi: Mra. John Blair, Field Secretary of talk with her Alderman and find out the Women's City Club, when T| wnat he is doing, talk with citizens talked with her at the néw club! as to the needs of the district. house, No. 23 Park Avenue “What is she going to do for her district?” For I reflected that ber title being | view of a baby? Would a little girl of but a brevet affair, she could not|eight like to grow up in this district? pass ‘the silliest ordinance, could not diapense the tiniest shred of honest) disrict all that it ought to be?" graft, could not even attend an offi- gial banquet! A line of Rupert Brooke's flashed into my head—"An ‘ “ i ti . {ate wind blew eround qn empty amplified, “she will talk to repre throne.” But I had changed my mind after Mre. Blair had explained to me what) ov eround, the milk station, the it it 's going to mean in New York to |, be an Alderwoman, “Just as the Alderman is the por- eon in a district to whom men £0 cept co-operation from the representa- when they want some improvement | tives of his women fellow citizens.” or development, so there will be a chance for the woman Aldermanic Peatresan $0. pork. for. the children | Mere nalatnor, who tries with modern and women of her district. ‘There is| have the remotest idea of trying to teach the Aldermen their jobs, “We hope they will teach and help as,” an Alderwomen told me humbly yesterday afternoon. gulde us, and we want to co-operate in everyeway with them. fe ‘ing to our working plan, airman will call a meeting early in the autumn of the City Club members who live in her particular Thia arrangement will help ties of their choice, making for real Richmond. The City Club's Chair-| man each borough democracy and pulling together, But Pern ree ie cranes | Soa acer inincrsies © romene shortly will ¢ an Alderw or in the City Aldermanic Chairman—for each dis- trict represented in City Hall 6y an Alderman. “why is an Alderwoman?” I asked | tailed survey of her district, fhe each district to serve as a workin nucleus for all the women in the dis trict who are loyal to it and tmter- ested in its welfare.” And one of the first jobs whtch the Alderwoman has to tackle is a de- Club'e phrase, an must walk through it, ride through it, ‘The ideal Alderwoman is going to say to herself, “Is this district every thing it should be from the point of ‘Are the young women happy and contented? Does mother find this “When the Aldermanic Chairman has found what she considers the chiof need of her district,” Mre. Blair sentatives of city departments, of public and private social organiza- tions, and to citizens, as to the best way of obtaining for her district the Yl CANT A FELLA SLEEP 'ROUN’ HERE ATAUL? I'M GONNA TELL TH’ CAPN ON You “SHORTY — JES’ wait Titt YOU-ETC. ved housing or Whatever the need may be. Of course the district Alder- man can be of great help in obtain- ing this improvement, if he will ac- “Then really,” I said, “an Alder- woman is an awfully good and efi- machinery to help out the women and children living in her vicinity, just as the good soul In the littl I do not | PUTTING THE DAMPER ON A “GREEN” CORPORAL you SHOULDN'T BOTHER TH’ NIGHT MEN LIKI THAT SHORTY i} Wit dda ty SHORTY!!! THATS REALLY CRUEL OF YOU IM SPRiseD!! GEE WHIZ THAT GUY RUNS INTO EVERY JHING! letters? Oh, Henry! might give the clue to Wilhelm’s blighting approval. To wit: or did the senior member of the firm of Gott & Co, figure that Gaga about, | press notice? Certainly he couldn't O. K. this line from “Nuremberg,” slightly more accent than he speaks it, and gives an autocratic rathe¢ than free interpretation to our favorite quotations as follows: or Letter still or betterest still— and And how about—— old marplot, but knowing his great love for babies and his policy of “Buffer | itttre children, for such is the Kingdom of Prussia,” the bloodthirsty old ! monoter undoubtedly feliow’s cold, unsympathetic, original kiddie stuff with this effect: ‘mproved by a Kultured German mind, | Kaiser must be reading some of Henry literally, without any of his own tm- provements. Mostly, “Mfles Standish,” most popular of Longfellow’s roughneck characters, “Reading the marvellous words and achievements of Jultus Caesar, After a while he exclaimed, as he smote with his hand, paim dewnward, Heavily on the page: ‘A wonderful man was this Caesar!’ ” “lam the god Thor! I am the war god; Iam the thunderer!” a persona! “Not thy councils, not thy Kaisers win for thee the world's regard.” r The secret must be that the Smear Kaiser translates English with “I shot a gas shell into the air, It fell to earth, the —— I care where.” “Build me U boats, worthy Tirpits, Sneaky, vile, ungodly vessels, ‘That shall laugh at all disaster, And with Red Cross transports wrestle.” “The shades of night were failing fast As through a Reigian village passed A youth® who bore, o’er hearts of ice, A banner with the strange device, ‘Gott Mitt Uns." © (meaning, probably, the Crown Prince), “In the market place of Bruges stands the belfry old and brown, Thrice consumed and thrice rebuilded, once more yet I'll etrafe tt dowar “Lives of Kaisers oft remind us ‘We can make our lives a slime, And, departing, leave behind us Goose-steps on the sands of Time.” The above, translated with bis short arm, undoubtedly appealed to the put a punch of his own infinite tenderness into Long “Come to me, O ye children, For I hear you at your play. And der question dot perplexes me ‘s how to maim you all some day, yet.” Longfellow’s full of childish, milk and water sentiment that could be Vot yess? However, of late the “My life is cold and dark and dreary” no politics in thin thing. even know whic! by the City Ch which Republicans, The woman, as you call her, will be a sort | of district mother, just as the Alder- nan is @ district father. We hope h women appointed ub are Democrats, | Alder- 1 cl town use try th r be st recipes’ t's it, itizen.” Bo place the Alderwoman—there surely is @ place for her in New York that the Aldermen will help and | life. she smiled, tj o be @ good neighbor and a gooa f aes “Oh, father, I hear the sound of guns, e will On, say, what may it be?” country and i é ; to help by taking care of | “My thoughts stin cling to the mouldering Past, ; pie chilaren Ad HY Serpe ‘And the hopes of youth fal! thick and fast. {And as the chip of der old blocizhead rushes in looking like the wreck of the | Hesperus from the Marne, the line \ ‘has epecial significance. fifty-seven castles, reciting & of the Prince’s knees together mi papa could reply with his specialty, a monologue. N. Y. Woman Brings Back Word To Mothers From Wounded Sons V/7 terror do just! McCullough in technique. and offer him a great chance for “Speak, speak, thou fearful guest, Who, with thy hollow breast Still in rude armor drest, Comes to daunt me. (Business with his medals.) Wrapt not in eastern balms, But with thy fleshless palms Stretched, as if asking alme, Why dost thou haunt me?” “pusiness.” (Green light, Professor.) THE DECORATING COMMITTEE PULLS ONE OFF AND “SHORTY” ARRIVES JUST IN TIME TO GRAB THE HONORS Right now Bill must be playing the circuit of hix ‘ems from “The Haunted House.” ‘The knooking ht éasily be mistaken for clapping, and He could with unassumed ice to the “Skeleton in Armor,” overtopping the ravings of ‘At present this should be his greatest favorite oy those parts of “Hiawatha” running, Taxing Banana Floobles ‘This Christmas the Kaiser will enjc “on, the long and dre: to say that if Longfellow ary winter, Oh, the cold and cruel winter!” It's safe were alive he'd rewrite his most exquistte verse 10 Feedicate i to his royal admirer, old General Know-tt-all, thusty: MISS ROBERTS GIVING A GROUP OF MOTHERS THE MESSAGES SENT BY THEIR WOUNDED SONS. venirs of all kinds, that they nh (hee you come to my home, | No. 23 Pi enue, to. | to send to their folks at hom pe Park Avenue, t0-} now that I ain back in New morrow afternoon, and let} am having little ‘at homes’ for these me give you a message from your|mothers. It is a real pleasure to be ” able to bring them the cheery news boy at the front K y y er of their boys, who are being well This is the unusual invitation) taken care of by the Red Cross. 1 which many New Y« ssure them that if the boys were ill receiving from Miss M at home they could not re more aturned fre ee where {expert or more tender care seoently returned tr ¥ Miss Roberts praised the immediate jean Ked Cross ney calla. It seemed as if the ambulances she went as buyer large New York department stores Copyrfeht, 1918, by The Prews Publishing Company (‘The New York Rventne World). ANNUNZIO’S stunt of bombarding Vienna with Allied pamphlets may lead to reprisals by the enemy. What made the Vienna loafers #0 sore was that Gabriele peppered ‘em with cook books. And they ain't got anything to cook, Clown Prince is lable to get up on his hind wheels and plaster a yard of Eskimo villages with a boat: load of Simperial proclamations, Retaliation is the keynote of the war. If this ®usiness of tossing literature out of the Milky Way con- tinues, there won't be any way of dodging the book agents, You used to be safe on the roof. When you lamped old Gus Agent rumbling the old front bell, you could scamper up to the attic and ‘bivouae behind the chimney. But if you try to conceal your ears on the roof nowadays, the book jopber hires a Zepp and pours the Ency- As These Frapped Atrocities Come Under the Head of Horrors .of War, It Wouldn’t Make Anybody Feel Bad to Tax ’Em Some More, and It’s Too Bad They Can Only Be Fined-and Not Imprisoned—But Smearing a Tax on Floobles Can’t Be Counted as Legitimate War Reprisal Until the Kaiser Is Compelled to Carry One Under His Belt All the Time. BY ARTHUR (“BUGS”) BAER. A Banana Flooble 1s a very delicate plece of trapped mechanism. ‘The soda water chauffeur puts everything in vut his second citizen ship papers, And the more he puts in the less there fs in the glass. It is made by scalping a lame bafana, tossi.g in @ complete set of whiskbrooms, two editions of sawdust and then scrambling the result with the contents of four pages of a mail osder catalogue, The only thing lacking is a reason, etwten |! It makes a fine drink if you don’t drink it. ' If Uncle Sam can't keep the atrocities confined to the wrong side of the Atlantic, at least he can tax the atrocities, And by tossing @ tax on Floobles we can place one of the horrors of war beyond the reach of the working man with a moderate income and an immoderate thirst, Splinter Frappes and Blister Patooties will also be assessed 10 per cent. on the preferred stock. It's tough on the charlotte russe hounds, but they might as well accept the nomination, Smearing a fine on Floobles isn't a reprisal, We admit that Floobles didn’t start this war, But that wasn't their fault, The Kaiser beat ‘em to ft, Belgium was protected from Floobles by about HEN Edward Mandell House $,000 miles of salt water, while nothing was ‘between ‘em and the Kalser but @ scrap of parchment. One swallow doesn't make a sum: mer, but one swallow of Floobles will finish the best summer ever made, They're great stuff. Tax ‘em some more. But it seems a shame that a Banana Flooble can only be punished with a fine instead of Yea, bo! Still, the Inds who framed the Constitution in ‘76 couldn't be expected to foresee crimes committed in "18. Robert ha found nique See ce bik ba medium be ta ‘Up from the air,” she | clopaedia Britannica down your neck. tween homesick boys in the hosp Pg AD we wd ‘Things are changing quicker than a grasshopper’s address, Even and anxious mothers at home sad Grunt | fee cream sodas have lost their pacifist complexion and will contribute #It wasn't altogether my own idea,’ ’ : he pelabhoracod @ tax to help the Allies smear the Kaiser, This ts the first time that Miss Roberts waid. “The boys really | ty of the subway disaster when | gnything came up through # soda water straw with a kick in 1 There originated the pln Paris, heeding the siren's warning: will be @ battle tax on, chocolate sodas and fancy nut sundaes, Razs- “'Oh, you are @oing back to New ried to one ine the ay ay ene berry Delights, Banqna Floobles, Walnut Cerises, Quince Pom-Poms, York? they would say. ‘I wish you} ring: mangled in eee cre | Asparagus Tweet-Tweets, Cabbage Frappes, Onion Lalapooloozas and could see my mother and tell her|crowd had not dispersed when a Red Garbage Whoozuses will all help to knock the Billzolerns for a goal. seme things for me.’ Cross ambulance with a doctor and ve -) é mae I bought a whole lot of writing |# nurse were on the scene. They took | However, instead of ue the Benne Tay es bed & mt the ‘ 4 1 took down all of the lit- care of the two bodies, dressed them Kaiser, more damage couk done w the Flooble instead, If we imprisonment, pads an for burial and even saw that the; could swindle Billhelm into packing one Flooble under his belt the te messages. I@illed my bag also] |\ttle while coffins were covered with % wuttons from ,thelr coats, sou va,” ri f war would be cured. ) Praga NE i «Negba wine ira sterstulnii cinder s-onemenrsnnn als ai ot lin m, . Lad snidianabundnalias on ai senisittenll ~ “THB DAY (DER TAG) IS DONE.” “and the night shall be filled with mvisic, 1 And the Boche that infest the day ° Shall fold their tents like Arabs, ‘And as silently steal away.” Mark Twain please write. Brig ht Boys Col. House Began Life to the Sound of a Whisper, and Has Kept Quiet Ever Since |sienificance of this simple sibilant and in after life “Sh-h-h!" becam« |the watchword of Edward Mandell ‘adventure of his|House's conduct, In very recent being Houston,| years a New York novelist heard tTex.—some of his|of this incident and its ‘remarkable older brothers| effect upon the infant's after life and and sisters were|he named his latest fiction product sliding down the|'’The House of Whispers.” 1858—the scene of this firs banisters and| Eddie House took naturally to making a racket, | moccasins—called “pussy-foots” in ‘gh-h-h!” said| the Texas country—in his very early the doctor, who| childhood, He had the reputation happened to be| among the Houston lads of the trying in the house, | days of Reconstruction of passing @ “gh-heh!" cau-|URion soldier guard in broad day- tioned the nurse, | !isht without being heard, that quiet who likewise|0n his fect was he ba s happened to be in| Of course all the boys were Demo- en ~~ the House man-|¢rats, being Texas boys, but in tho scant biographical notes on Col. sion that day, ‘Therefore this important admori- tion was the first word Edward known as & “Rubber-foot D " Mandell House heard. His preco- | And'that was conceded to be the most cious infant mind grasped the deep! deadly Democrat what is. House it is note@ somewhere that among his playfellows he became