The evening world. Newspaper, May 16, 1918, Page 18

SURERRARASRASSAGSnancemeeeee wide THURSDAY, MAY 16, 1918 ‘Cave Men Best Husbands; = — slits Are Easiest to Manage Major Gen. March’: hree Daughters All War Brides And Tamed Like Bears ' Save WHEN MISS JOSEPHINE MARCH, YOUNGEST DAUGHTER OF THE CHIEF OF STAFF OF THE Vi UL! h, ld Erie Ce 1, Dwarfed “ Sliilstertee Pest te Nox trem of Wacane Pen | U. 8. ARMY, IS MARRIED THIS MONTH, ALL THREE GIRLS WILL HAVE MARRIED Total Mileage of 446 Miles and 57 Concrete SOLDIERS WITHIN :§ Locks, Each 328 Feet Long. | ‘ - . en | | | CU \\S i SK j <— THURSDAY, x ~~ MAY 16, 1918 N. Y. State Barge Canal, | Which Cost $155,000,000, Greatest War Achievement A Kindergarten Task to Domesticate Him--Just Feed Him Flattery--But Even in Love-Making His Method Is Ob- | solete and He Belongs in Only One Place--the Museum of Natural History. ; By Nixola Greeley-Smith ‘ HE husband of a New York clubwoman who has gone West to seck f | 4 divorce declares that if he had been a Cave Man instead of an My eager collaborator in his wife's ambitions and career he would ; |not be cafled upon now to face domestic bankruptcy. | Reading this announcement, I coud not help think- ing of an afternoon years ago, when the present divorce seeker complained to me that the New York papers did not take women’s clubs seriously enough. “I think I will name a committee,” she sald, “to go down to see all your editors and ask them to take us more seriously.” The husband who now regrets he 1s not @ Cave Man By Robert Welles Ritchie HE State Bar anal was opened raffic yesterday, Behind this! I simple statement of a fact accomplished, an achievement com- | pleted, the average man in the street sees no great aignificance. For years ho has glimpsed headlines in the papers about the Barge Canal Deing in this and that process of Legisiative discussion or engineering tansition; but be has passed these headlines by, Stories about the State | Barge Canal came to be old stuff with him. Listen, Mr. Man-in-the ‘This State Barge Canal fs your canal, | Tt was built with your money. It will bring money to your pocket, ind!- rectly but surely. More than all that, this State Barge Canal {s the great- est war achievement any single State in the Union has brought to a suc- Geasful conclusion since Uncle Sam rolled up his sleeves and got into the trouble over yonder. et @ Through {t a flood of coal wil - meee interposed: “The papers will take you seriously when- come fromy the We coal which | Canal project through the Legislature, | ever you do something serious. Why don't you try it?” was held up on clogged railroads|® 1d work actually commenced tp My own secret thoughts echoed him; but even then, While you shivered in your arctic|1817. The doughty old Governor| { I trembled for his future. What woman would not choose a Cave Man's @pariments Jast winter. Through {t/!!ved to see his pet completed tn 4 rantings and exactions rather than cool, detached criticism? wheat and other grains for our-| 1! Tt was nowhere more than Women do prefer Cave Men, to, —————— — Selves and the boys in France and|four feet deep and forty-two feet ‘ be sure, because Cave Men make by| “Let her gad about madly at every the Allies will come by an all-water | wide, but {t was considered a marvel | Va 4 far the best husbands. For one bps or BONG eo route from the Middle West, Inj of engineering |: ere “ thing, they are so easy to manage.| (Yes, certainly. short, u tremendous burden will be] ‘Tien, after « few years of tay | g Consider the Cave Man characters | SMM che AALS AACR lifted off the shoulders of the over-|'raMc on the canal, the railroads 4 istics, What are they? wURet Worked rallroads by the completion | 9egan to be built, and before aa A childiike desire for mastery and| “What then?” cf this ribbon of water from Buffalo| other quarter century had passed , ~ an egregious vanity, i “And Bs wife will listen to thelr to the Hhdson River. they put the old Erle out of buat Jb ff The woman who wants to do-| fine speeches? Just what fs the Barge Canal? hess except for the most desultory | Us / \ | mesticate a Cave Man, who would| “Exactly! It is an inland waterway system | fretehting. The canal fell*more and ey \ set Samson happily to grinding) “And you will look on at these of four branches which, Ike any | ore into disuse. My \ |corn for her, faces only a kinder-| 84llant visitors with a show of in- well regulated railroad system, taps| In 1903 by referendum vote the 4 ~\ | garten task. She has merely to con-| difference?” centres of production and centres of| State of New York decided to en- ‘cede his superiority and put him to} “Of course.” distribution and does the work of a|!arge and modernize the old Erte, | Stel Son! {work, If she tells him every little} 1 do not know of any modern play carrier. These are the four|and the people authorized an ex- . at ire | while how big and brave and strong | !n which a husband's attitude of tol branches: The old Erie Canal,| Penditure of $101,000,000 for this \ safety ine fs and how she marvels that he|€Tance and confidence is so well {l- widened and remodelled and running | Purpo! From that date amend-! > \ hyo |lustrated as in this classic comedy bd 1 AV Py hol hel {ever found anything to interest him | across the State from Waterford, on| ments to the original scheme of am) ‘ witet) ! lt her puny little self, she can sit f the seventeenth century. the Hudson River, to Tonawanda, | I{fication and improvements all| ; | SO Koes : |{m a corner and sew a fine seam for; And, in the play at least, only where the Niagara River is entered | long the ine have jacked the total ee brad | the rest of her da: good results follow its application. and followed to Lake Erie and|°ost of completing the Barge Canal : If you have ever seen a trained| Certainly more wives are held by thence by a short run to Buffalo; | UP to close onto $155,000,000. \ M . " " a policy of indulgence than by Cave LH filets | N \ . PAUL RUSSELL FRANK, bear vaudeville act you have mar-|® P the Champlain branch running| There have been legislative inqut-) { \ ‘ second daughter of Major Gen. velled at the willingness of the lit-| Man methods. northward along the State's eastern | ‘es and professional yells from poll-| : Ve \ March. Her husband is a Caps tle bears to climb up on the kegs| ‘The hour of the Cave Man {8 so boundary from Waterford to White-|tIclans and charges and counter-| . SENN \f tain in the United States Army, | they have Just been rolling, face the| brief. Who can take a bald Cave hall on the southern end of Lake| charges, but the work has been car-| /° ' | Jeg| Man seriously? Who can even pre- |.4 audience and drink out of bottles Champlain; the Oswego branch from |ted through willy-nilly, until to-| -; MRS. JOHN MILLIKEN, nee until their trainer tells them to get| tend to be impressed by a Cave Man the old Erte Canal north of Syra-|day the Empire State has the finest | | Mildred March, eldest daughter aseh with a gold tooth? cuse and carrying to Oswego on|system of waterways of any in| | hile ela eh, ive] The reason the bears hold the| It 1s seldom that the man who Lake Ontarto, and the Cayuga-Sen-| America, and second only to thove | Heed Keuws Cast, Milltcen ta | pose so well {s that each bottle con- | !0oks the part will consent to play eca Canal leaving the Erle west of|of Great Britain and China, reluc-| | with the American Expedition- Mie tl eaing a small quantity of mo; |® Cave Man role. His sense of Oswego junction and travelling /tant as we may be to concede to the! { ary Forces, i { tis. | lwhich trickles into thelr mouths|humor preserves him from it. And southward to the two large lakes| Chinese any superiority, ve ‘ livaee slowly, and the bears do not/4$ a rule, the man who likes him- which give it a name, A oycle in the method of makin y hey Ris get down until the syrup is all|self in the role of primordial brute The Erie, or main atem of the| Waterways has been completed with hr HEL ona would be rejected for army service, mew system, is 339 miles long; the| this finished work. i: r Substituting flattery for syrup,| Some women really Mke him for Champlain branch, 61; the Oswego| How far does the Barge Canal ad-| | i od the method of training Cave Men is| himself as well as because he 1s @ivision, 23, and the Cayuga-Seneca | Vance us in winning the war? i pie . {dentical with that of training bears, | easy to manage. Those who are offshoot alse 23 miles. The total] The canal will accommodate! ' Sees MISS JOSEPHINE MARCH, mileage of this waterway system ‘s 446 miles. In dimensions the canal Varies according to locality. At all Places it has a minimum depth of 12 feet. In earth sections of its terri tory it has a maximum width of 125 feet, which narrows to 94 feet In ©uts through rock. In the beds and Jakes through which it passes its @redged channel! ts 200 feet wide. Fifty-seven locks, all of concrete and operated by electricity, are dis- Persed through its devious ramifica- tions, The lock gates are massive stee] doors, swinging on pivots and Weighing 5 high as 200,000 pounds each. The Barge Canal locks are none less than 328 feet long and 45 barges of 1,000 to 2,000 tons, opera: ting under thelr own power—no towing as in the case of the old Erle, The canal system h. designed to accommodate a sei traffic of 10,000,000 tons. The season will be nine months, instead of seven, a8 of yore. Ice breakers will keep navigation open {n all winter months except the most gaevere, Consider 10,000,000 tons of care riers lifting that much work off the shoulders of the ratiroads and you will see how the new Barge Canal will speed us up in the complex Problem of war traffic. And the aren to be affected embraces most of the northeastern quarter of the United Ongme.-~” - She is to be married some time this month to Major Joseph M. Swing, aide to Gen. March. There is no woman so dull that she cannot tame the wildest Cave Man, It does not make any dif- ‘ference whether she spends her life | being taught to swim or having the “© |war explained to her, though of ‘Shall Polysyllabic Birds Rule the Earth? It’s a Tough Question, but the Answer Is Buy Thrift Stamps—Lash Yourself to a Raft of Them, for If You Don’t, You One-Syllable Smiths, Browns and Greens Will Have No More Show Against the von Hindenburgs, Goofen- heimmers and Mackensenzapps Than a Cream Puff Has Against a Pas- try Hound—Buy ’Em Now, for It’s No Use Whistling for a Dead Dog. course if she chooses a Cave Man who holds his classes out of doors she will get more fresh air and have a better complexion, I have seen just three perfect | Cave Men in twenty years. As long |ago as 1661, when Moliere produced “The School for Husbands,” the Cave Man type was ridiculed and an ideal described who bears a striking likeness to the American husband of 1917. |mentally and physically lazy pre- |fer to have everything decided for |them to think second-hand thoughts !and hold hand-me-down opinions, | Others possessed by the devil of ‘contradiction enjoy the sport of |balting a poor, hard-working Cave Man, Still others lke him, because he needs neither reason nor right to alter his mind, but merely flat- tery. | But I do not believe there is any | woman who has not in her secret | heart a contempt for the Cave Man. Even in love-making, Cave Man }methods are obsolete, The first time I ever saw or heard of them was at the age of seven, when I was feet wide. They will lift simultane-| States. Seventy-five per cent. of the i : e “If you marry her she may de> | taken to see ann cana in pee ously six barges from one water|State's population live beside {ts BY ARTHUR (“BUGS”) BAER pronged names, You can’t horn into that close corporation in Berlin |mand the samo freedom she en-| Taming of the & nrew yen then Jeve! to another Waterways and will be affected di-| Coperight, 1018, by the Press Pubiishing Co, (The New York Evening Wor | ss YOU are tagged to an elastic name that sounds Ilke @ hoftrau | joveq as a girl,” says the Cave Man|! remember inking eee my The most notable of these locks| rectly by the operation of our new | HE nut who banged himself on the skullplece with a er be breaking on a Amburger reef. of the piece must ie _ ODF " aes fatale are a. Waterford, near Troy. There| Water lane from the lakes to the Cuuse it felt wo good when he stopped hasn't ang m anos of What chance will the Jemiths and KJones have !f we don’t smear “Certainly,” replies Ariste, the from the be minalag. ta pe taken tm & combined lift of 169 feet constl-| sea absorbing the Nobel peace han the lady who sews & 18 Mat outfit fatter than an anacmic potato fritter? What chance will | model husband of 1661. by Petruchio's bully ng swagger, tutes the greatest series of locks seaaeaiie ones on her husvand's socks, » bir inks his concrete-filled brogans the Zbrowns and the Bgreens have if the Kaiser gets @ chanco to dish “You will let her have patches : In the butte: fon of to-day the in the worldaride from those of| Be D at the mouth of the alsle channe! ka up the rest of the summer out the plunder? No more chance than a cream pul. has against @ | ang ribbons?” |Cave Man belongs in only one place the Panama Canal. Each lock was| 28 enver Organ car seats 18 an end seat hog and ble to tar and feat pastry ho You have got to have four syllables in your name to “Doubtless!” }—the Museum of Natural History ed at an expense of who thinks Hiawatha is still a popular air, The zar Jaaz a with that bunch of long distance telephone warriors, a ne aeamaeed installed at an expense of a quarter a Wi | fe) h i of a million dollars. The lock at hole Orchestra.| that ciotn top shoes and elght-belted coats are metropol It's the one-syllable birds against the multiple syllable yeggs. It's d b “ D ” Little Falls exceeds tn Mft any of | Orr of the greatest pipe organs! much of @ goof as the sapp who pushes @ revolving door a tough question, But the answer ts @ Thrift Stamp. Beauty of Jewels Restore Vv Gem loctors Panar Yana Fo! a n the country has Just bee rain, nena LS — nthe ( ; me ana haf an i . sf and al insta’ In the Sty re “i £ Te tae alae see . ] S | l . k MEN fortunate enough to pos-| bath in sea water often bad the same eet separate its levels. _ e t takes all kinds of things to make or and we ¢ A A A a “ ould | effect me years ago it was re- One of the un prinavine AF & oont to the city Of $85,000.) nar. wis a at nated its ¢ cc coe ol ae ena Trolleys Gale pine Pea § on eee tn’ eer an Ss I; yrted that the pearls in a celebrated ot th ‘ enginee combines the qu F vith our pleasure, as the monkey sald when he } the | “ wear th gems fred ) he peatis brated i jes of a cathe ecklace of hile features of the canal system—them: | drai organ and a aymphony orcheatra,| PIN The kewple who spends his career trying to tigur which ts | Italian Front and not permit them to de eckiace of Mme. Thiers in the selves a triumph tn the craft of hy-| The largest of its pipes ta two atories| the front end of a ferryboat is Just as ble a k tan through long disuse, according to jew-| Louvre were shrinking tn alze and drostatics..are the movable dame Meh, forty | 4 square and we @ parcel by the string, They ar armune OUNTAIN lines are best defend- stage being by motor to the lower sta- | ask ally | turning k. A sapph which, tt fch retain th t 2 the “ti 1,250 pound Piya is , Seine ® BUY who sos tho ed by guns on the heights com-| tion of q teloferica, At the upper end too | was once belleved, would change to a which retain the waters of the Mo See mallest wel wrong levor in @ telephone t 1 turns on the , manding the main passes, dut| is a mule-power, narrow-gauge It has also bea deep violet tint tf the lady wearing hawk River and can be raised and | Malt an oy nd has the ¢ Phare ace lata Ke other w parr: ial so GANlarion. This. tee plenesd he |WANL Which ln collnmes nee alneetten [iad Bate Dh Bae Oe. Mee ie bad not bean trunte barioven aie lowered to govern the depth of |“, stra Rasp eB var Mechanics.) and other sorrows, such vo-foot yardstick ffes y eau {llery mounted on higher elevatic of telefericas and a dog-sled journey |#?0"P ine + the old superstition|the South Kensington Museum in water in that portion of the river Ain ag | and gents who haven't collectod a full crew of Thritt , So the struggle along tho Austro-| before the peak ts reached. These ca-| Teel Bane Coe ON , | London. which forms part of the canal Sie ca A Thrift Stamp !s a p 6 published Italian front has been to reach the| bles sway dangerously in a high wing, | at gene Mion wile There are many stories of rubies _What fs the history of the Barg he ceiling {s the} Out of thie twin hemisphere of ¢ stepping and W ¢ | Yoty Ousriine: She lonmnineh: pehae and | Posie! bringing two passing care) oliet that thoy foretell disaster, | wi y changing c Cana) and what has it cost ae four ects of | you haven't lashed yourselt ¢ waft of Mhrith tho Italians have done, thereby | tox F with @ crash. Their beauty is said to have been/death of some one ne There you are going back tnto the 4 : ‘ereryree ; , 8 t @ record for Alpine warfare| In tho fall of 1916 @ body of Itatiang| Te! 4 when worn by & pere|the wearer, and red ¢ 7 e stead of the| yoursel nd the man who bilks himself ts the ace of £ } fan cata ay cae ane tea ihe em [often restored h > oy c r n 1 , 4 Fei a . 4 never before approached. By me st ly at work on a gun em-| dinipt Ae pie MA ule bistory of the Gtate and of @ young petru ‘s| Thrift Stampe while you have the chance now se of [of the “telefertew,” an aerial trolley in| placoment far up a mountainalde,|son in good health, which accounts | sunpoael prow Pea whan ths y 1 jot Le b puta tio me persons have | ow as about to t rious! apace as ae vty. Pequiring) whistling for a dead dog. Buy Thrift Stamps now, D t which small cars are suspended from Suddenly they were interrupted by alfor the reputation some Persona have olny wis abour super “tH ie When De Witt Clinton, an astute HO oi Ot] war ts cured. The only way to cure the war is tog > 5 ables, men, SUNS, aMmunition and| storm of bullets, The Austrians bad|{gained as successful “doctors” of sick | ne ae p fous feet Politicians of the Revolutionary pertod 38 Attached to! sin. 3 dosan't matter whether you buy ‘em wholcsale < . on mules have been carried to po- | dragged a machine gun to the summit} gems. : a F and a man of wide vision, was mey be jowered| 7 Everybody who buy jams in 44 A sitions 10,000 to 18,000 foet above sea} of a splintered pinnacle, 3,000 feet] Turquoises quickly snared *) A thorough cleaning a sew Y ‘ when not in use| 9 “ ‘ are gta q | | abo he: °) > 4 ee ‘en the wearer is in bad phyei- (setting will rov Governor of New York he advocated inatrumbot la eam has both Liberty bonds and Thrift Stamps ts entitioa r a j@bove them, The situation was crit-|ness wh ee he ea ele the bullding of what his eneoring ‘ © eQuipped 4 Citizen, Ln rays ath The telofertca which climbs to the/{cal, for the work must go on, Antcal co on, and one Ly 5 joy Their color b enemies denominated “the big Vgatted addrepasd to George . T It you « L. B. | s,o00-foot summit of the Paaublo in| officer recalled that at one point on|has built up a ' sainess by reste jsimminishes according t i eR Gr his wan 74 caste tran bas been employed! on your shingle, take @ post graduate course in patriot! ‘tho |retween three and four miles long, the teleterica the car camo in sight| their lustre, her patrons believing | which they are shown, and they may “ . 2 I aa Re ad hoon hour concerta| 7, 8, degree to your title, writes Lewis R. Freeman in Popular|of the enemy’s position. A machine|that she possesses somo pecullar/be affected by acids, but ther 7 Lake Erie to the Hudson River, Re ig Fh gr Rae lage Rass Have you almud an eye at the mechantam of the 1 A Mechanics, probably the longest on|/@Un was mounted in the swaying|quality which redoubles the beauty!no dow some 7 e: roads jay, besides which the on Ul bs , ate | pte . member, there were no rallroads In eee mean will be} oe gorillas? There ten't a eyllable bird : t {the Itallan front. Motor and pack | basket, camouflaged with @ tarpaulin,| ¢ these stones |auality ¢ Ae those days, and canals had long been Weed with rr er cee SOOre Se t into that Potsdam firm unloss you have a ‘ that ]animals carry supplies as far as roads 4nd sent away, At the proper point! Jewellers say that pearis may be/and de , precioun stones Gemonstrated the most practicable oo oe the hy yey P bo wry rire IR] ou coulén’s Sold up te 18 Would go under the Brook » Bridge cree * Joan be made; then tho air line must | the Cable was stopped, the Austrians! afrected by the dye in the lining of a| From — form of transportation. ot the tnatru 2 " *w4y8 | be followed. The journey to the gia- | W'POd out, and before they could do] jive) case, if shut up too long, but! doct ' ment, ite volume can be reduced ‘There te von Hindenburg, Gootenhetmmer, Wazzenbulloof, \\ &'*! more damage the big gun was in|J time Gov, Clinton jammed his Erie eccompany a single ee) mae to app, Dingioni&er, Ballocsaicc’, W cet F wengen cler at the summit of the Adamello} position to shower the pinnacle with| that their beauty will return if worn|to time ' a e ce wenn, slegiser, Sar eenywureter and a mill ther four. [1s over « remarkable route, the erat | Bian explosive, [for ® Uae peat to the body, A lomg| mous Jewels q