The evening world. Newspaper, May 26, 1917, Page 12

ee eee eee aoe ‘ er 6s, | COMIC PAGE and Players Bante ee el OME day that boy Bob Davis ts going to write a play that will make ‘em sit up and take no- tice. Wo base this prediction on the fact that he refuses to quit shooting @t the mark. So far his atrempts at Play writing haven't been able to Bold an audience, but that was main- Wy tho fault of the theatre managers. ‘They nover lock their patrons fn, you tmow. But just you wait, folks! Bob fs still at it, The latest stage crime fm which ho Is involved ts a playlet @alled “EMciency,” in the writing of ‘which he had Periey Poore Sheehan €s collaborator, despite that name. It fe to be produced in Londoa by Lyn Harding. Mr. Harding, now tn New York, sails in the near future, which fact urges us to predict that “EM- @lency” is bound to get over—the Pcean, anyway. A BIG BENEFIT. Gov. Whitman, Charles ©. Hughes, Mayor Mitchel and Mercus M. Marks will be the principal speakers at a big benefit entertainment to be held to- might by the high school choral or- ganizations of Greater New York at the City College Stadium. The pro- €eeds will go to the Woman's Service @nd American Red Cross, Victor Herbert, Amato, Albert Spalding and Alice Veriet will help entercain, BY WAY OF DIVERSION, Sister Mary thinks she’ trying to reduce. For candy, milk and such she has no further use, one forty-two, but says she. She thinks ould be about one twenty-three, When Sister Mary's @iet slips she never blames herself, Ghe'll seo some tempting cakes ar- Fayed upon the pantry shelf, She'll seat a cake and right away the cook's he shouldn’t make says. “She'd have me If Willie drops a lolly- p she'll eat it sure as fate and lame him, saying make her gain some weight. She'll down town and eat ice cream and she'll tell the man he had no business tempting her and “put him on the pan.” We haven't had dessert at home for weeks because of her. She'd eat a lot and blame us all. Oh, things aren't as they were, We're Roping Mary drops her plan of trying to get thin. At home the joy’s all go- beg out with nothing coming tn. HANDICA D. Mre Mark A. Luescher has a negro @aid named Sadie in her employ. Re- ently Mrs. Luescher and the maid attended @ revival meeting, and when the exhorter asked those who wanted be saved to stand up, Sadie arose, irs, Luescher, UAaking her over- emotional, pulled her back into her weat, The revivalist came down the @islc and stopped near them. “Don’t you want to go to heaven?” he asked of Sadie, ton.” his plan to “Yas sah, Ah does,” replied the maid, “but dis heah lady won't let me.” McINTYRE FARMING. Frank (Plumpte) McIntyre, the wide comedian, 1s out near Ann Arbor, Mich., planting war potatoes, He postaicards us to the effect that he ‘will soon be prepared to exchange a k of spuds for an automobile or a use and lot, Central Park district preferred. His potato patch is near a fake. When the plants need water he dives in’and the splash does the rest, ANOTHER DRAMA HOUSE. Broadway hears the theatre to be Dullt on Broadway between Forty- ninth end Fiftleth Streets will not be icture house, after all. The report says a prominent producer of legitl- mate drama has taken over the propo- sition. Our guess Is A. H. Woods, A WARNING, PERHAPS. “Yes,” said Paul Gulick, as he stood at the Broadway entrance of the Mecca Building yesterday, “my musi- eal stock company will clear five thousand dol"-— At that point a window washer six stories up dropped an implement that | . aften, recover- ing from’ his sca’ Glear $500 this w Gossip, Btuart Sage is to be in a musical piece next season. Bud Fisher has formed the Bud Fisher Films Corporation and is now hundling his “Mutt and Jeff” pictures Bimselt. John B.C mer and Harry O. Hoyt have leased an entire building in amount. Good WAGER SPOILED. ‘“ ALLOA! Are you Baty's, the "Yes." Weill, this is Mrs, Brown's rv dence. Will you please send me a} large, thick steak by 12 o'clock?” “Well, you bet your sweet life I wii" “Do you know, sir, to whom you are in that cas oe = GOOD FOR HIS AGE. varmint! inen imo {itne, Paying taught 29 lemons, Book Ime mas Original (arleteneens Bohoot, 41 W, La6m ot. Tel, Moruingside ei, | ing. | poetry, didn't he ¥ company will | | FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE. |is overdrawn $40. S tiounive:s | men Shot four men, hey? Well, I allus ald that boy would do us proud some ¢ Jenny, Mrs, | young man, | » Mrs. Brown » det off."—Tit- | York office “S)MATTER, POP?” “PIN DROP, MY Maw Séz ~__Y'WENT ‘To MY FAMILY DOCTOR" AN’ N'GAY HES A FATHEAD HoH ? —_ West Fortieth Street and have opened @ scenario factory. Minerva Coverdale, who is in a De Courville Company tn London, 1s| “doing her bit" by dancing and sing- ing for wounded soldiers. She'll re- turn to America this summer, A DANGEROUS TITLE. L. Wolfe Gilbert and Carey Morgan wrote a song called "Some Day Some- body's Gonna Get You" tho other night. That same night each captured by the police for auto spe: A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. | Sure Waite was crazy. He wrote| FOOLISHMENT, When I was only six years old 1 used profanity, I'm told; 1 thay son reer wild, Mor Twas one bright ohid, Bank Cashier—Madam, your account | Falr Patron—Oh, I'm so sorry! I'll just give you my check for the dent of the Rumpus Ridge neighbor: hood, in Arkansas, “He ain't worth -'Fvening World Daily | WHEN ouR BABY 18 “PLAYIN You WHY DAWGONTY OLE Doc? Goof US 1% ONE OF TH’ Besr UL DOCTORS IN “THO NECK O' Woods —You SES Do AG HE “TELLS YUH AN’ You'll. BE OK. tds ,FOLLER HIG, ADVICE “To AY” DINNY! ‘TOM, ('M SELLING "LIBERTY LOAN BoNDs’= HOW MANY WILE YOU “TAKE ? | OH SHUCKS - ''Mqoin' To HANG ON TO MY blow him the devil! °lt he's been stealin’ t I'll frail the ede off'n him, the powder ‘twquid 7 v y nd got Into a fight and shot tour] day! Four of 'em—and, say, Slack he was only sixteen yoars old last Jannerwerry sas City Star | DUBIOUS ENCOURAGEMENT, MILLIONAIRE railroad man and a tuunitions contractor said to # reporter in his New “Scandal, even when proved false, does immense harm. They who are maligned get small comfort when you tell them the scandal is false, Does this news, which they Know already nuke Koud the hu they have suf the remark of t *'Oh, how LT adore that sald to t beautiful ating never succeed in winning he: “‘Rot!" safd the mutual f ‘Lota of oth have suc Why shouldn't you?’ Was Star FOLLER WIS Apuice ME EXE~ Godt DID'NY x TRY “0 - BUT tT CANT WHY He GAYS “S'NUTHIN’ BERIOUS -SES A LIL’ GATHERIN’ ON “TH! BACK OF ME NECK ~See? Coprrtgh'. 1017, Press Puenening Ca «5 + HIMSELF! _ Office Force By Bide Dudley Copyright, 1917, by the Press Publishing Oo. (The New York SEE by the papers, How can you do auch ¢ came from the Private Be have always been @ great admirer of Mr, “I thought Spooner was your fair- Dumbell, the Australian Minis- ter who was canned by this country, has been appointed to the House of | {ttle man!” came from going too far, Kind- ly avoid mixing my name with that i'm single and Intend to “Was his name Dumbell?” asked Miss Primm, Private Secretary to the, “I thought it was Indian Club,” said Bobbie, the OMfce Boy. "Gee whis, Kid!" said Miss Tillie, the Blonde Stenographer. “Can't you @ of humor of vours? man's name was Dumba and an Austrian, not an Australian, v ho was hore be was the goat for others higher up. “I guess that's why they gave him the can,” suggested Bobbie. “You make me sick,” Miss Primm was furious, She ad- hay know,” she said, marry you if you were the last mar ‘Now, Miss Primm,” began Spooner, 4 the wrong construc- tion on my statement, We @."—— Mr, Snooks, the Boss, came Noticing the frown ow Primm’s face he asked: “What's ap?” “Lovers’ quarrel,” sald Bobble, “Which two are the kc vers?” “Peek out your door aad see which neck when you're rim two jump on my Want me to go down to the river . } and get you a dock?” “Oh, let's forget the funny part," “lL see where a fre! | gave battle to a U What was in it? es to the old as well as to | the young and they all battle. v ntered his private moment of silence “Did he say ‘bottle’ or asked the boy. “I don't get you.” | “Didn't you say @ freighter gave a bottle to a U boat?” said Miss Tillie, “the freighter Popple could ; thought the bottle would stop ‘er.” “I think the conversation Is golng ,from bad to worse,” the Bookkeeper, HELLO a8 ---- SAY LISTEN ~- (VE CHANGED MY MIND! \'LLTAKE. SOME OF “hart “LIBERTY LOAN’ sald Spooner, “I noticed in the paper to-day that a small boy was jarrested for sleeping baby. “Maybe he was just rocking the cradie,” came from Bobbie, “I don't think that is a subject wo anapped Miss Keep Baby Healthy! Clothes washed with guess you're jest about right," n and will not irrie “I'm not addressing you as ‘Mister,’ | I'm telling you to cali Mr. Popple by | the name he deserves. “Ob, I wouldn't dare, “"Whaddye mean?’ demanded Pop- | | ple. “Why, I thought Mise Primm Jone night @x> "Im “sp & sours.