The evening world. Newspaper, April 10, 1916, Page 12

a The Evening World Daily Magazine, Monday, April 1 Che EANIng sorld. . 63 Park Row, a® Second Class M and and the Continent and Countries in the International Postal Uniom FOR PROMPT RESULTS. HE eighty-cent gas bill, which, if passed, will give Brooklyn a uniform eighty-cent gas rate, comes before the Agsembly this week Speaker Thaddeus Sweet has declared himself strongly in favor of giving gas consumers relief without unnecessary delay. The bill should pass without a dissenting vote. In the Senate the vote lacked but three of being unanimous. This large vote was cast in spite of the fact that the general policy of the Senate has been to pass no mandatory rate legislation since the Public Service Commission was formed. In view of the glaring facte of this notorious case pending before the Public Service Commission for ¢ix years, which were loudly criticised in the Senate as “amounting to a public scandal,” the relief asked for was eolidly agreed upon. Members of the Senate roundly scored the Public Service Com- mission for urging this legislation. From the point of view of prompt and direct results, however, it must be admitted that this particular stand of the new Public Service Commission was in the interest of the public, It is ten years since the last mandatory gas rate was passed, This included Manhattan and Brooklyn, excepting the Thirtieth and} Thirty-first Wards. These wards were excluded because they were at) that time less populated. But in ten years no section of the city) has developed so enormously. The plea of residents of these sections for an eighty-cent gas rate such as their neighbors enjoy has been dragged out through endless i.varings, delays and court procedure based on technicalities. Public Service Commissioners, have come and gone since the case he- gan. There is now an entirely new commission. They urge this legislation for at least one good reason—to save delay. The commissioners, being all new, would have to go over volumes| of testimony, hold further hearings, with the possible chance of more court reviews before the people could finally get the long-sought-for rate, Therefore, they ask the Legislature to make this rate, and then move amendments to the Public Service Jaw that will simplify the process of court procedure. In the eighty-cent gas movement what the public is impatient to wee is eighty-cent gas. That the newly constituted Public Service Commission picks the quickest way to results as the best way is at least a point to its credit. : a United States troops went into Merico to get Villa. We are not aware that they have tried to do anything else. Yet by TMen W rn SS S ~e, wo 8 = . eer eens * ee their presence they irritate Mexican nerves. Do so many Mex- jcans, then, find themselves more at ease with a murderer than with the police? Sn INDUSTRY’S DEATH ROLL. HIRTY-FIVE THOUSAND PERSONS are killed and 1,590,900 7 wounded each year in the peaceful industries of the United States. These amazing figures represent casualties for a twelvemonth in the great etruggle of workers to win an honest wage amid the perilous grind and whirl of millions of tons of machinery. Thirty-five thousand lost! Enough, as President Williams of the American Museum of Safety points out, to constitute an entire divi- sion of the army or “the whole National Guard of New York State with every unit recruited to war strength.” “In two years {t would more than equal all of the Unton soldiers killed in battle during the Civil! War. The number of workmen injured annually, nearly 1,600,000, 1s still more ap- palling, for this number of cripples, if left whole and sound, would constitute a force sufficlent to render the United States free from invasion vy any nation In the world.” The safety movement in this country has accomplished a great work in safeguarding the lives of many who work in mills and at close quarters with destructive forces. But how much is still to be done! Peace shudders at war’s ineensate slaughter. Yet her own Vets of — By Bide Copyright, 19) 66] SEE by the papers,” said Pop- ple, the shipping clerk, as he adjusted his eye-shade, “that Yellowstone, the bandit, ts causing @ lot of trouble out in Wyoming.” “Why do they call him Yellow- stone?” asked the blond stenographe: “Because he held up twelve stages in Yellowstone Park.” “Regular suspender salesman, 6b?” me from Bobbie, the office boy. Vhat do you mean?” asked Popple. “A hold-up man.” ‘ “If you please, Bobbie,” eald Miss Primm, private secretary to the boss, “you will kindly refrain from boring us with your silly jokes this morning. Please, now!" “Or ‘he might be called @ papor- hanger,” said Spooner, the book- keeper. “Why? asked Bobble, needlessly killed and maimed are never ending. a Germany {s reported to have a new type of submarine that can see without a periscope, Germany's ideal submarine will be one that steers without human eye, launches torpedoes with- out human hand and sinks a merchant ship with every soul on board without human responsibility. Hits From Sharp Wits himself is otherwise A man who is stuck likely to become likew stuck, The bill collectors may not be All that the church requires, But they indorse the Bible man Who said: “All men are Mars.” —Memphis Commercial Appeal, see eee Have you noticed that poor people never have diseases with large and imposing names’—Albany Journal . Don't you admire a man who can a8 k about himself with childlike ‘There is a difference between tak-| candor? ing time by the forelock and snatch: | o 8 ing it baldheaded—Philadelphia Tel-| some women r clean house; egraph. some women clean house every spring . . ° no matter whether the house needa it Miladi says tho truth is not really|or not, and some women clean the “bitter” until somebody tells it on us. house twice a day.—Pittsburgh Bun Dollars and Sense TVS we By H. J. Barrett use the mail? said a ten that the prospect i sold, But dealer in house furnishings | Whether or not we are asked to call, in response to the Interview. | ™¢ solicitor makes a personal cans vass. If practicable, he first sees the er’s question. ‘I should say we did, Any time we can call upon a pros- | pective customer at the expense of a nickel we do so, And that's what direct mail advertising means, “Every day we receive a list of the bullding permits issued for this city and vicinity, These names are segre- gated in our office according to the character of the structure planned, A form letter designed to meet the needs of is then mailed. For a residence, for instance, we mail architect and peruses the plans bo- fore calling. Thus he ts thoroughly posted on conditions and can discuss the owner's needs intelligently. “About three months later the cand turns up again in our files. This ts the signal for another letter; this time featuring our interior decoration service and facilities, The offer of free consultation servios with our ex- perts bringy good returns. But in case no reply 4s received, a man from department calle in person. {ter an interval a letter 1s matled ing the house furnishings, rugs, each case “Weill, 1 presume he is what ts com- monly known 4a @ stick-up man.” Miss Primm, who liked Spooner, laughed immoderately, —“Goodne me, Mr. Spooner fhe. said, “That f genuine joke. I'll have to remem- ber that one and tell it to the folks at home to-night.” “Ain't you going to tell the folks mine?” asked Bobble. “Yes, some day when I want to be real mean to them,” “Now, now!" said Spooner, “Let's be pleasant, Bobbie's joke was all right. Possibly it did not have the polish that mine had, but"—— “Yours WAS a shine, old man,” sang out Bobbie, Miss Primm gave him a@ glare, “That's absolute rudeness,” ehe said. “Imagine a boy of twelve calling @ man of forty-five ‘old man!'" “Ahem!" ‘came from Spooner, “if ou please, Miss Primm, I'll be thirty eight on my next birthday, I was dorn in seventy-seven. “Well, what of It in a low tone, “This much of tt, young man, Te- “I re- asked Bobbie plied Spooner, slightly miffed, fuse to ha seven years tacked on my age, 's drop the matter, em! 1 understand we're to have a ‘swat the fly’ campaign in this city soon.” That's swat,” said the blond sten- ographer. “Miss Tillle'’s crazy, too,” snapped Miss Primm, Then to Spooner: “I think it's the mosquito that ts to be swatted,” “Just a minute!" said the blonde, with a show of temper, "I'll have you know I'm not crazy, I'm as sano a8 you are." “Then 1 guess Miss Primm was right," said Bobbie. “That's an insult to both of us,” returned the private secretary, “This Uttle whippersnapper tnsinuates that we're both crazy, I intend to complain to Mr, Snooks just as soon as he | comes tn.” “I've seon lots of fish like you two,” said Bobbie. Curlosity got the better of Miss Primm after a moment of silence. riey and furniture, And once & letter dealing with the advantages | more 4 solicitor supports the letter. maroc Bula tatrigeratore ext | “AS @ result of this system which, | considering the business it ylelds, 1s we pu ieltor on t r If @] very inexpensive, our establishment Feply is received from the, letter, ex-| often furnishes a new hovge com- Berience proves in seven gases out of! plete from garret to cellar,” ( ‘ nih 1 “And, pray, what do you mean by that, little Mr. Wisenhetmer?” shoe asked. “The fish were in seine, Get me? im t fay if ¢ aN i “rll bluff the boss that I'm going to leave. The Office Force by The Pres Publishing Oo, (The New York Brening World), ho Fail «eth. Perhaps Dudley —— — By Roy L. Coprright, 18) as ig you are gojpg to hold that umbrella over me, do 6 please,” said Mra, Jarr sharply, as she walked to the car with her husband during one of the recent showers. “I'm holding 1t over you, am I not?” asked Mr. Jarr. “You are holding it over yourself and it's dripping on my hat, and this coat spots terribly,” satd Mrs, Jarr, peevishly. “There, now, is that better?” asked Mr, Jarr, as he shifted the umbrella a bit. “Yes, it is, 1f you'll only keep it ke that,” said Mrs. Jarr, “I don't see how it is, but after a man ts married he never seems to care how he holds an umbrella! When we room at that functure, Miss Primm determined to’ make her complaint. “Mr. Snooks," she sald, “can't you order Bobbie to refrain from ingult- ing Miss Tulle and me?” “What did he do?” asked the boss. He said we were both crazy.” Bobbie,” eald Mr. Snooks sternly, “don't you ever say that again.” The boss re-entered his private room. Turning, he stuck his head out the door, “One is enough,” he concluded, Then he closed the door, Miss Primm was astounded. She glanced at the faces of Popple, Spoo- ner and Miss Tillie, but found only wonder, “Mr, Snooks didn't mean it that|° way,” sho snapped. “Squish!” replied Bobbie, “and a couple of tutts.” “Close your mouth!" said the pri- vate secretary, Then she got upand shed out of the room, Reflections of A Bachelor Girl By Helen Rowland Copyright, 1918, by The Prem Publishing Oo, (The New York Drening World), A MAN Is 80 apt to mistake his love of experiment for love af # woman that half the time he doesn't know which is which, Of course, every man fancies he is yearning for the “volcanic” sort of love of which he reads in novels; but even @ volcano must be quiet and unresponsive, eometimes, in onder to be effective, Dearie, You can't always judge by appearances. For instance, not every woman who dresses and acta like @ show girl is a society matron. Some of them are show girls. At sixteen a woman eppeals to a man’s eye, at twenty to his senses, at thirty to his heart, and after that to his vanity. Funny, how @ little thing Iike a new engagement ring will fill the average girl's heart with euch @ deep, sweet, uncontrollable pity for all the other women in the world that she becomes almost unbearable, After the second ibottle of wine almost any man can fancy himself in toxicated with @ woman's beauty. Propinquity {s @ form of sentimental homeopathy. Its primary effect is to cause love—its secondary effect, to cure it, Alas! it ts «0 diMoult for a girl to know what to do! If she doesn’t respond to a man’s sentiment she bores him to death, and if she does she frightens him to death. Many 4 woman marries for gold—and then has to coax and scheme in order to get hold of enough of it to pay her carfare, ‘That tired look on a man’s face is not eo often the result of brain: fag from worrying over hia wife's opinion of him as of ear-fag from listen: You sce, the fishermen were’—— Mr, Gnooks, the boss, entered the tng to dt, By J. H. Cassel nd The Jarr Family | | he'll raise me.” | McCardell by The Prem Publishing Co, (The New York Brening World) were keeping company you could take me out in a hard shower and neither one of us would get a drop on us. Ab," here sho sighed, “you used to keep close to me in those days!" “I keep close to you now, too,” sald Mr. Jarr, “but the trouble !s you're getting stout." “What!” exclaimed Mrs. Jarr. “Stout? Why, I don't welgh any more than I ever did. I wear the same size corset, and this dress, well, I'd hate to say how old tt 1s; and look how loose it {s.”* “It must have stretched, then,” satd Mr: Jarr, “You are getting stout,| and that's all there ts to it." “This weather is bad enough—there you go, letting the drippings on my| hat again—now you are crushing tt— without your trying to say disagree- able things to me,” said Mrs. Jarr petulantly, “I am not stout!” “It's stopped raining,” said Mr, Jarr, eager to change the subject, “I'll tako the umbrella.” “No, you wont,” replied Mrs, Jarr, “You lose every single umbrella I let you have, And this is my best silk one, You go to your office and I'll attend to my shopping, and I'll take cage of the umbrella, too, I heard Mrs. Kittingly say it was a bad sign if a man didn't forget his umbrella, though,” continued Mrs, Jarr. “She said it shows he’s been in the com- pany of women, because they always remind a man when he 1s going that he brought an umbrella with him, But when he’s with men he forgets it and so do they.” “Better malo an acid test of it, then," said Mr. Jarr, “and let me have the umbrella, You'll have @ lot of Parcels to carry, and it isn’t going to rain any more, Better let me take care of It.” “And have you teave it in a saloon,” remarked Mrs, Jarr, “I'm not going to any saloon,” sald Mr. Jarr, “A person would think, to hear you talk, that I don't do any- thing else." “And a person would think, to hear you talk, that I welghed three hun- dred pounds and had @ double ebin,” remarked Mrs, Jarr, “Can't I say a thing without you thinking I'm trying to hurt your feelings?" asked Mr, Jarr. “Not when you twit me with getting | fat, I'm not getting fat," said Mra, Jarr, and so they parted. When Mr. Jarr came home Mrs. Jarr had just got in from shopping, “And did you bring home the um- brella?" asked Mr, Jarr, "Ob," eaid Mra. Jerr, awkwardly, | | | them by putting them Into his mouth, The delicious taste went to his brain. | ably find some excuse, 0, 1916 The Stories Of Stories Plots of Immortal Fiction Masterpieces Albert Payson Terhune Copyright, 1916, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Brening World), ROAST PIG. By Charles Lamb. O-TI, the Chinese swineherd, went to the nearby city of Pekin’ on business one cold morning, leaving his son, Bo-bo, to look after his cottage and litter of nine young pigs in a sty. The boy kindled a fire on the hearth. Some of the sparks fle into the roof thatch, and presently the whole cottage Was ablaze. It burned to the ground. So did the pigsty. The nine little pigs were roasted. Bo-bo barely escaped alive. A wonderful fragrance filled the air, The boy sniffed it enjoyingly. Then he tried to pull one of the roast pigs out of the embers to see if any Ife was left in the animal, The hot flesh burned his fingers. He put his fingers in his mouth to cool them. And at once the mystery of fragrance was made clear to him. It arose from the roast pigs. Thi taste on his fingers, too, was most unbellevably delicious. Bo-bo sat dowd in the ashes and began to devour the pig. Now, all this happened many thousand years ago, when people atill ate their food raw, and when cooking was an unknown art. Thus Bo-bo was the first person on earth to eat cooked meat, While he was still devouring the pig, his father came back from town, and stared in horror Oar at his son, He thought the boy had gone crazy—to eat burned food. But, before he could speak, Bo-bo thrust & portion of the roast flesh into Ho-tl's hands, babbling: Kat! Eat the burned pig, father! Only taste!" Ho-ti, in disgust and horror, flung the hot morsel to the ground, It burned his fingers and—as Bo-bo had done—he sought to coc! ae He and hs son sat down together in the ashes and ate until they could eat no more. After this their cottage used to burn down as often as it was rebuilt Whenever a new lot of pigs arrived there was certain to be a fire, Th neighbors wondered at these wholesale conflagrations in the home of Ho-ta And they spied on the swineherd and his son. At last the two were caught eating a roast pig, The scandalized neighbors dragged t to court at Peking, ‘The testimony against Ho-ti and Bo-bo was damning. They were proven to have committed a crime against sacred custom and precedent by devours ing burned food, The jury was convinced of their guilt. ‘Then one of the roist pigs was brought into court as evidence, It was handed tnto the Jur; box and passed from man to man, The flesh burned the jurors’ fingers. The? put their fingers into thetr mouths, Then, without leaving the box, the, brought in a verdict of “Not guilty! The Judge was a shrewd old chap, He pondered long and carefully over this iniquitous verdict. Then his house burned down. Jurors’ houses ail burned down. One after another the houses of people who had been at the trial burned down, Nearly all Peking burned down, As fast as houses were burned they were rebuilt; only to burn again, as soon as Onn? new piss could be bought. A Genius Houses became fiimster and filmster until only shacke he the mat were built. The price of pigs and of building material darren? waxed almost prohibitive. No one confessed to eating roast “burned pig,” as it was called. But every one did it And the only means they knew for gratifying this new taste wus to buy a houseful of live pigs and then set fire to the house. Finally, a sublime genius came forward with an invention that rescued architecture and the pig market from utter destruction. He showed the world how a pig might be cooked without destroying a huuse, and all the owner's other p: In nort, he invented a fireplace and a gridiron, It is better to be undorn than untaught, for ignorance is the root of misfortune,—PLATO. When a Man’s Married — By Dale Drummond — 5 6. by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World), OHAPTER XXXII. hot talk about it any longer, tf you Please, I'm tired of the place and ‘ARION LAWRE every one in it.” D cided to have @ pienic in the) “Mo included?” Robert asked, try- woods about a mile distant{ing to spenk Mghtly but inwardly from the village. Jane and Robert wondering what had changed Jane were at breakfast when the invita- tion came. “T suppose because T said I was g0- ing to give some picnigs this sum- mer and had not done 80 because YOU won't allow me to keep @ mad, she 19 going to show me that she can entertain any way he pleases! If I had her money I'd w her!" ono Mhall we go?” Robert asked, fgnor- ing Jane's remarks. “Eyiurre perfectly willing to go to Marion Lawrence's parties, Tee. I ’ of my friends you'é Sbiy find eon No, I shall not You can do as you pleas Well, a8 You give me no reason for not accepting Marion's invitation, and as she is an old friend and the affair 1s to be on Saturday afternoon, and will not interfere with business !n any way, I shall go. I wish you would reconsider and go, too, I'm sure you would enjoy It, and a day tn the woods will do us both £00 *T phall not change my mind. You can make my excuses, I'm sure they will be accepted.” “Very well, Jane, But I am dis- appointed. I'm sorry you refuse to be friends with Marion, She's @ good sort and you would be happier with such a woman for a friend, I know she fecls badly because you are so de- termined to dislike her.” wouldn't be if you a sing! me happy.” “I do éry, Jane, Sometimes I wone der just why I don’t succee “If you call it trying, I don’t! Live ing in a stupid iittle place like this, no place to go, no money to buy clothes with, no servant! I'd like te know what there is you do to make me happy?” “Will you write to Marton?” Robe ert sald, as he laid the invitation to the pienic back on the table, "I don't think that necessary. You can telephone your acceptance, an at the same time make my excuses, Jane replied. “Very well, I'll do so," and Robert left the house, an angry red coloring his cheeks, Left alone, Inne sat long before the disordered breakfast table. & thought which for days had been whirling tn her brain was insistently protruding itself. Subconsciously for {days she had been turning {t over and over, but as yet had not realized, she was thinking of {t seriously, Instinct or Intuition had warned Jane to say nothing more just then to her husband of the difference that had taken place in her mental attle tude, It was her affair, and hers only. That Robert would be shocked, perhaps hurt, was to be expected, But 1f he could do nothing for her, “That's all you know about it!” she|he shouldn't make @ fuss if she did mapped; then more quietly, “we'lll for herself! —_—_———_—— For the Easter Shopper EWFLR’ een a fa-| The Paster season marks the ade n Moana pitied Lich be-| vent of popular priced jewelry, Eare vorite oF do rings in Bukst effects are being of~ cause the displays of spring @N4/ fered at from 50 cents to $1, With summer jewelry are espectally | the revival of 1830 aiyita the drop od- | earring is being favored and !n the: attractiveand the prices withi® mol [the Bukst influence ls very ovident, erate means, Tho predictio id Tho popular settings are rhinestones, 1916 season are that the use of Jewelry | sapphires, emeralds and rubies, In will be unprecedented, and #0 a gift/the stud earrings pearly are still fa~ of this kind will prove @ satisfactory | yored, but coral bids fair to supe: investment. sede these. Ashes of roses shades In the Ballet Russe, which {8 scor- | are prominent in earrings as well ag ing such a success here, the name of| in pendants, brooches, &¢. Bakst figures prominently, for it is In necklaces the pearl ranks first, he who has designed the wonderfull if tho string is sinall the pearls are costuming. This explains the pres-| uniform in size, Longer strings of ent rage of Bakst Jewelry, which] pearls as well as beads are gradu- means settings tn brilliant clear tones|ated, If you decide upon a. fancy of blue, green, pink and yellow, auch | bead necklace, select onc of ashes of as are now scen tn brooches, brace- lets, earrings, rings, &e. roses 4 cor: 5 & guard chains are again in vogue, those in antique finish being prominent, “T left the umbrotia tn the atreet car. | gif? dy ance’ Here Is a large diver No, maybo it was at the ribbon coun-! novelty brooches are ter at the first store. Now, don't you | styles A) Aetea of re : c y be had at 50 cents. Rird effects { start to say anything. It's the first | Posimat “oolorines are pee umbrolla I ever lost and maybe if you | Owls and parrots with eyes In atone go to the street car offices we may|settings are mounted on gilt silver find that {t was an honest conductor | {nd sell at $2 me! blue butter- and he turned it tn, although most | flies on gilt metal are 75 conte, 5 well known Pertod hroochea men think umbrellas are common property.” among present offerines, ‘These are suppose you left it as Mr. J s settings can Painted on ivory or china and wet attractive gold frames. One from thot | Nanoleonte era is marked $10. Tha fancy pins In silver finished” In ‘thon neh ray or dull green sold git Mrs, Jarr sadly. store with red, white and bine stoned gee of won: I never saw a wo shown In an unusually laree vert Who was honest about an umbrella—!or wanes “and dorlony wae (2 it wae & @ood one. well and are only Bn in the