The evening world. Newspaper, March 6, 1916, Page 14

| ' D SR a The Eve orld Daily World. ning W BSTABLIGHED BY JOBMV PF isheé Dally Rx t lay by the Press P - iy Rsownt Santer. N7 ithe Kew Fe RALPH PULITZPR, President. 63 J. ANGUS SHAW, Treasurer. 0% JOSBPH PULITZER, Jr, Becretary, & nt at the Pou-Oft ee at Now York aw Secon! tion ee to The Evening) For |> and the ‘World for the United States AN Countries in the Inter ' and Canada, Postal Union. Qne Yoar..... vee + $8.60) One Year... ’ . $9 ® Month. sessseseeee » £0! One Month... sf VOLUME 566.. TOO MUCH TO ASK? HIS WEEK the House of Re miis ample of the Senate and put itse means to leave the President witarny foreign affairs. The country shows no ten on record w ves, On the contrary its instinct is to trust tuer Nevertheless g ity of Ame ve , ion is facing u situation whici demands more s thoug i judgment and sir risis which has arise tion than a hey feel, @ince they, at yes, not only fixed upon their Government, caloulating ‘ ing Ste weaknesses. They 1 ' months the conduct of n ‘ United States t t for must stand History will weigh and judge. With the consciousness of such responsibility most Aimericans in private life would strive to sink their projudices, curb their t and leave on record only such few words and acts as mig! undivided devotion to their country. Should they, can they ask leas of @ssembled ? nen A CITY THAT GROWS ANY OLD WAY. MOVEMENT is afoot, backed by prominent merchants, bunks, clubs and hotels, to save the city from the effects of furt building of factories in shopping and residential districts Having pushed the retai] stores nort! Ytion, the cloak, suit and petticoat manufacturers, inst and loft buildings in the heart of the new retail section. ‘The result is unevenes: niost depopulated, while another is overcrowded with au unsightly vard, of filling: ia areas abandoned to them, follow with fresh incursions ¢ ugliness, chaos. Qne section is left al- conglomeration of shops, lofts, manufacturing establishments and empty prixate dwellings. Real estate values are thrown into hopeless confusion. Tax assessments are inconsistent and unjust. If anybody wants proof of the random way Manhattan grows, let bim take a walk through the old shopping distriat of Twenty-third Bireet and Sixth Avenue. Empty buildings, stating windows and padlocked doors make this once prosperous quarter look as if the plague had struck it. Yet instead of moving into this sec ion, manufacturing jumps, ta and avenues north of Thirtieth clean over it and crowds into st Street. Magazine, Mon “| guess the Boss wont fire me if | smeak a day off now and then.” | March 6. 1916 The Stories Of Stories Plots of Immortal Fiction Masterpieces By Albert Payson Terhune | Oopyrtght, 1016, hy The Press Publishing Oo, (The New York Eveatng World) day, | 7 | THE THIEF; By Herodotus. i Sjee in “4, B.S more than 2.009 yearn Before letective stories yen fay deal, detective tory) ety ay eens i georat ip Bee 8g “series of my A each of them an he went al HE King of Egypt ordered a huge treasure vault hewn {n the stone foundations of hfs palace, Three sides of the vault were of sheer rock, with a single tunnel entrance, guarded by a heavy fron door The fourth side was of granite blocks and formed one of the Palace's outer walls. The architect privately arranged that one of these blocks of granite should be swung on a pivot, ao that any one who knew the secret could get into the vault and loot the treasure, But before the architect himself had a chance to protit by this trick he died. On his deathbed be told the seeret to his two sons. sons night to the palace wail, found the movable blocit and was full of the royal treasure, and they came o lide gems. They returned, night after night, for more Ly 8 pile of treasure Was growing smaller, and ine sore perplexed, He aione had a key to the Vault's one door, aud there no other visible way to get in, So he set a half dozen traps. SOON Next night the brot ine for a new load of gold, One of them enter vad of the other, was i WeLlae tught in the atecl Jaws of a trap that slowly crushe : ut his life, Hig brother could not free him. So he out unlucky man's head and carried it m recognizing t visit ho fo: 1 not guess how it li But he vowed to solve » highway outside the h it and to report y pas © headless ne ther © mystery palace and he rby showed ur or how th order @ squad usual grief at s! ‘The surviving ti 1 no mind to let his brot 4, 60 he soll very drunk. W , n cut down To add to the insult, he shaved off tho left beard ack, was all the n a ‘ing the thief to just » ot Kk into his powe 1 was sent forth to nise to «ive his only « er as wife to the suctor who would ry of the cleverr ie he d ever com mitted. To insur wooer's safety from ar: was to Te uvet appli tsi room, #0 that n en eur recognition But the . t inecess to selze and who should tell of loo ¢ royal treasury. Ho also hid a the adjoin ‘ ‘ 1 room with orders to r n wit Ghte at the princess's finet ers Phat Ruse Tho thief heard the procl d, Rut a or 1 hig wits once more 7 ewly-slain criminal and ew dark room where the pr: t ing. Oe: me i ever committed,” he told “was to rob tho 6 princess ed out to her guards and at the same time asized the thief by the arm. But whon the soldiers came running in they found her sping the hand and severed arm of the executed criminal, king was so {mpressed by thie bit of genius on the part of the man who had robbed him that he offered free pardon and great wealth to him. The thief tock advantage of the royal offer. He came forward and con- fossed his crime. The king not only granted him pardon, but the Princess's and tn marriage as well, saying: “The Egyptians are the clevereat men on earth, but you are tho clever- est man in Egypt When a Man’s Married A dozen of the biggest retail establishments in Manhattan give) [~~ notice that after Feb. 1, 1917, they “wiil give the preference in their purchases of clothing, furs, ete., to fir’ uve located outside a zone bounded 1 s whose manufacturing plants in plants The Office Force | the upper side of Thirty-thiré , ra ih : a —-By Bide Dudley — Street, Fifty-ninth Street and Third and Seventh Avenu ® ne World Dress Publishing Oo, (The New York E at time for New York to get itself in hand and fir Isn't it a way to exert its municipal authority before it becomes a worse hodg aS - : eg i ; pay nis " RABEAce LAR SIRHS RSA podge than it is? What has been done with the plan to fix industrial | glasse her a thi WIN erratic roe vee taleh youl | eer ee Eere [Drisefighter, Jop Wilson, hall from Sooner or later,” sald Mig Primm, | \ city that has celebrated its two hundred and fiftict ROSY AMM te ee ne luni Gaal onyn coe bia atuaareeit | Cught to have civie sense enough to see that order and sightline: covelopr annot be forever ignored by a metropo! priv sumed an air ‘L pre m Kansi © town," said Spooner, secretary to { su- Jep| Mr. Sno lied, | Juncture here," e kind I beat up.” arrived at this its} Miss prima emanly little fellow to ial 8 that bids f ks, the boss, He nodded the country and the world. a ee | Willard 1 belie » he's That's an GREATER IRELAND. | ne Hi Irish who gathered at a hotel in this city last Sa God Ireland other thing to ose a strange moment for the performance of omething | he said, st wants me to thank y t package to her y y. It contained her watch, which 1 had repaired for a DU are the Nicest, most little fellow shi r met. Miss Primm hesitaied and then re plied meekly an awfully nic boy, Mr, Snooks. "Good!" said ‘It's nice | for an employer to know the people! s oitlea are so in accord with, uu all are “Mrs, for bringin: terd demanded Miss ‘day bless and do th Eng tuts ancient Did the ¥ country think thus to onor the quarter of ion of th ir fo courage and heroic figh men now enlisted in the dritish army, of whose loyalty, ing qualities inspiring accounts have I guess se Bob- | speak for the million and a half Irish-born in think t , or for the millions more din his 7 Hover the ttle assem- , Bobble could stand It hank you, kind friend,” lood? ate office y will find out their mist 1 rond, upon Great Britain's entrance into the 8 longer war, deelar wld. \ and have Ir could take every soldier out of Tre $0 und Miss Primm turned on him like @ rage ; tigress, That's the first real lle I new for the Empire, he sounded a note which Irish hea all over ever told In my life," she snapped, —— By Roy L. © Onprright, 1016, by The Press Publidhing Co. (The New York Eveniug World) nd . deerme will take you in, Jai Heim theses Bail y ae ace ¥ t she should wear. Thon as'Emma announced, before Jane ! ce WENTY-VIVE DOLLA! joarr. They are both artists and are in waned sbe fretted for|tMe to recognize the other guests auitered Mr. Jurr, as he/a ted by refined people, Then, “wouldn't get home in time, ,424 Mr, Harding, will you take Mr ized at the sporting news!too, nobody knows what that dear jLawrence?) I know You are old in the even brows, "Tw you the coun for sure!” “Excuse yourself, please,” eald Mrs. r quietly, slang in front And, besides, [ didn't ask you for twenty- five dollars, I only wanted elght or ten. And, e to think of it, I adn’t even spoken of that!" w M Jarr had n been do. mind reading, His remarks con ning twenty-tve dollars in con- nection with fa! guys” had been consciously extorted from him upon his reading fiatic news that ide seaty to the forthcoming ard-Moran bout would be five dollars each, aper with knit y-five dollars! I y's full of fail guys, any ce vonty- Mr. Jarr did not care to explain, #0 he simply remarked that his comment bh been caused by reading in the paper that people were paying as high ay twenty-five dollars for seats at the opera when Farrar and Caruso sang. “And why not?” remarked Mrs the world took up and held. That note vas not ceased ringing, nor can it be dr wae S 1 a few yells and curses from old-fashioned Fenianis mabe i thc See 1 aaa 0 ¢ a | Copyright 1918. by The Prese Publishing Oo. (The New Yor Evening World) Hits From Sharp Wits bright mid the Mond ateroge | No. 9 Joking. | ‘The office boy joke also goos back raphor " | to olden time Backward and for- + dher-livah tant rhing resw Wha ronle pazeats nee Wie he kes neve N a brigh day in the year] ward and from side to side this morsel dacly ft rent m to Go| mistakes “are th Over ae Le Prin saned B. C, 60,000, a fattish youth,| is dished out to us week aft. Tt , . v d 1 1 week @ fellow muct anything usefu In t 4 Where did you think wearing 4 fig leaf and a foolish hes if f ne When these old, ba * 1% he key nites we alin his way ™ wumilar words, “Me grandmudder is A book wale call once and| Solicitously expressed sympathy ja} “I Was under the impre nile, was making his way through | sick," stare us in the faco, we laugh eell @ ten-dollar order. Then he will y always ¢ ded by a desir “ h mountain valley, Suddenly he paused. | jecause we've done it all our lives. call fifty tines Ing to collect the|to know ull ubout the trouble as On the face of a nearby rock some| Jokers are divided into three classes ten dollars.—Albany Journal, bany Jow tel) | Wibal artist had ru: chiseled the | real, peer aad practical, The first eb srcieted 8 eer 3 i ai ese Se : Ret, tyes oung|"@ 4 blessing; the second we Doll ae . Rriiod | foatur of viling se me zune endure; but the third! We shall yet wuse |inan gaged 1 dea slowl¥| find a way to deal with them, ars an ense By H. J. Barrett f its way into his skull] Ai nations had what they consid- 66(ERTAIN traffic experts earn ay “ln case of cate lwoking about him he suatched up @| ered humor in thelr writings, but it Mvelihood by Inspecting their | tra an im 4 vit of charred k and added a] V9 often mighty raw atuff, Up to 4 ea Ny thelr Reo Ute nt come ine rails 1G : dded 4} the eighteenth century it ran to horse- clients’ freight records from of tha noon iy Pt c C : pointed mustiche and noauy trimmed] pay and language that couldn't go! time to time and accepting fur thelr) freight s) Roe Deenacne in the out lobbte Dyke tu the countenance of the] through the mails. wervices @ certain percentage of all | autiorizin, py tey f- ae! us lady, le looked at what] A line was drawn between wit and Wad doge and burst vurre ndev Oo & rour of e team they can obtain from the ratlroads| te shipment to for accidental overcharges,” ster, This order marked @ business man recently. Matement of the “My traffic department saves meal “We pay our great deal directly in the shape of After we have checked the bills. On 1 allowed claims for shortages in buth|OUtWard shipments, an ttemized no- | s ig an important date in the! : Uistory of human progress, for here Primm, | we the birth of humor, This 1s qssion that | the oldest Known attempt to do some- aha | thing funny and tt has had its count- articles freight bills week, outward and inward shipments, su-| tice, covering weights, routing. clans: EO | Spooner, | lesa miluons of Imitators, ‘The samo pervision of shipping thus insuring! fication, car n &e., is tnade Ms yrhing? The sun | thing 18 done to-day to the posters Ju @oonomical classifications, &c, But) triplicate, Cne goes to the ra are playing—| our subway, it is even more valuable in improv. | road, another t ustomer and tha a igh a Next in order of ancient lineage is tmg my delivery service to my cus-| third remains ur filox, In : Hiss : rimm | th jarling of the paid jJokesmithas, tomers. ‘ Gluim of shortage by the pur npaya: Kin in @ low] the mother-in-law wheeze, It prob- ‘The department's duties can be| our | ized re from t wou know, sou | dates back to the tune when the roughly divided as follows: Super-, ¢! vision of (a) inward bound freight, (b) outward bound freight. “When the purchasing agent places » and wlodge nates #1) ‘A traffic ce tive, But be Saves lawsuits r mother were the (ay well as the the home. ‘The husband nerely anong those present, So actual) humor, Wit was the pink tea stuff, ‘This was the guff those oid boys got off who “recited” instead of talking— ihe kind we read obout who made those long winded speeches, brineing tn the stars, spring and all that rot when they n a lady. ad of a smile, they say tho yawp only brings a tear to © of & native of Ceylon, Mavbe the right stuff hasn't been tried on ‘em. We Americans are a playful and Joking lot. The umptre may consider our humor @ trifle broad when the pop bottles begin to skid off his dome, hut the mafority kes tt. But there's nother side, Take, for instance, Mark ‘Ywain's intelligent flea which, had it an order he promptly notifies the tramMc ent as to thé probable time of Ie miy. | when @ couple of men got a night out ut i dae | they'd roast the mother-in-law, just ppose Miss Os the members of the office force What will cuss the boss to-day, pedites shipini ment for 4 concern support one.” nominate Mr oner to ¢ [Primm in @ gay match. grown to the size of a man with its ingelligence increased in proportion, 1d surely have gone to the White House. | The Jarr Family — By Dale Drummond — Qopyright, 1016, ty The Pree Publishing Oo, (The New York Dventng World), CHAPTER XVI ber, He was terribly annoyed with ge LUVEJOY had sent them |J@ne and resented her accusation, McCardell Hone for a formal dinner |,,y mediately they entored the draw - was announced, 9 Jane had fussed all day she greeted him. friends and will have plenty to talk made no answer, but applied |® she the businesa of dressing. |Geraldine Farrar will do n she} plays Carmen, Sometimes she slaps) |Caruso and sometimes sho hands him | Pimsel! to. he a rose, The first night she sang Car-| Jane of the tim men this season she nearly killed a| that she put on chorus girl, pulled ber hair and threw ety her al! about the stage—some pooplo | Leni thought it was because Miss Farrar Jane? had been playing in moving pictures | f and some thought !t was because ahe hud just been married.” “I vote for the last named ticket,” \remarked Mr, Jarr, “but how did she come to think the chorus girl was her husband?” “[ don’t care to discuss the opera, | and wrtists whom I admire, in the jvernacular of the gutter,” remarked Mrs. Jarr severely. “I have also this to say, and that {a that I do not care to have euch expressions used in the do home. You may speak that way in |places where you hear euch language used. Of abl your friends, there is only one who has any choice of dic- tion, and that one i» Mr, Michael Angelo Dinkston, the vagabond poet, “Do by Rober laguna face fushed gPentiy ee her puelnena ef arenes nd was paired off with Marton ‘ aay muggosting | PAY Fence. Suppose he HAD known bes alely jher before they were married, {t ee. something | W2%2't Very nice of Emma to call’at- Hoo Oar, Ronee tention to it, or to imply that they Kr goa” nearly (28d #8 much ‘to talk about, Just wait Swat wiih be intent ate until she got home, she'd tell Robert We will be late, ;What she thought! That Mrs, Law rence Was the best dressed woman at How do I/tho dinner dl y (aes tery BL) did not add to Jane's com. ft through the dinner Jane tried as ach } | to overhear something of the conver- ore gal Wee ane you wait | sation between her husband and the he first thing I Koow you/ handsome widow, but as they were : jsome distance away, on} “You're not going out in those! scraps floated to her, Several ite things!’ Robert pointed to Jane's fect.| they both laughed he: It was storming, a thin, fine snow-| heard she became mene ee sane storm, and was also cold. Jane bad) distratt, George Lovejoy, far trom on @ pair of white satin slippers suspecting the cause, was unoasy be. “T certainly I don't see any-| cause of her manner, and sald to her » matter with them, if you! “Robert seams to be enjoying him. nm on, I hate to be the last | self,” drawing Jane's attention to her ; we 1a, ana] Mugband , Jane, it's freezing cold, and| “Yes, Jane answered gh: n you are going out in those, thought to heraelt. “If 7 St dene 7 jas she can, perhaps Robert fl y she returned and found|me more attractive.” Then turned to a pair of rubbers, Philip Macon, the man on her left. Emma's guests vere all assernbled | and talked and laughed excitedly when they arrived, Jane whispered through the remainder of th, and that i# the only thing about him | foi as they were taking off their| She would show Rohert that cine to be admired!" wraps: admired her if he did not well, I think that even poor oid | "I knew you Rohe eine ena” acieaees Dink, who ie the heavyweight cham- | fussing about thowe subheral are thought to himself, “T'm giad Jane ts Hess » | Te Dee Taina welre hare now. Robs lantoning Remcien pion of the English language, would | | “Nover min’, were nem ton toms tre Bec call a boob a boob and a simp a simp, , ; if ne saw them paying $25 to mee an|~..~«.~Sts*=“~*é‘ié‘~«~ a pita ie tacos ° Making a Hit opera sung in a foreign language, with nothing interesting in it except Coperight, 1010, by The Prew PuAittaning Oo. (The New York Brwing World perhaps the prima donna landing « At a Shopping Lunch. Seen Gan |i few good short-arm jabs, And they} (oo. sant af © leege Gepertment | ViCw the rema tell me that the second time she went | ster uve, 4 Sradly glans iar ¢ see that you like? on in the. shar RAE TE SAFI ¢ was Mra. A (with enthustasm)—tT nee nothing but shadow boxing. Not a they have pie knuckles wey cette “It's very warm,” “There! I'm all ready! look?” Jane exclatr clock struck seven. thing tt Do c would make us late! ntinued,) By Alma Woodward any one wishing to &o, ‘Well, what do you The rest acters) Two bosom frignds, roach & table, Many amall packages Lede” arma, ) real blow, not a géod wallop was RS, A (scanning the #ea Of! «Kraut, If that dish ls cooked Pro landed during the entire opera,” tabieclothe)—Shall we take) erly, T love it, D “For the last time I am going to this one? lage we * pi obulehratly)—Welt, you \ ask you not to use slang in my hear- Mrs. B (looking pusthen) sow ouiaaly the hoof-and-mouth af 0. reat at ‘ Re you like one near the window yth ear the he ing!" said Mrs, Jarr. ou doubtless | ¥ Ne ie (oractically)—-What'a_ the Any ning near the hoof. And near the window? | « Be Baer ae e window?) knuckle? And sauerkraut! ninth floor—you can't) know they used to thi a that Was good for the Hver, but tt ts: It's killed more people with acute i digestion than anything else @ hoof than the think you are very funny In speaking) yy" Ss Situing | of grand opera, which fe @ treat for| You're on the cultured people, in the terms of prio |look out ‘ lighting. If you are trying to mako partes net a iced walticent the "bus me angry 80 you may bounce out of Suild frm “the wext table help Sho "the floor as they fae! Mrs, A (wanly)—Yes, 1 + the house, you need not, 1f you wish mer ts reetored,) ies (cntenlag <f i 1 dare may to discuss art and literature and the rs, A (fine-combing the menu)—| take chicken fricassee only I don't ni ‘a in such Vulgar phrases, ploase| What are you going to havet the way thoy thicken the. grovyik® gta? ( | Mrs. B (ingeringly)—I don't know. | restaurants, And steak avy in isn’ good, I don't see much elect avn except lobster, do you? A go out to your cronies ut that resort | jm pretty hungry. on the corner and talk that way to| Mrs, A (keenly)—I'm hungry my~- rl \gcif., ‘There's one thing I won't have,|" Mrs, A (acarchine vo ; them! a aia |§ust tor spite—lobster salad and tce}t do not. I suppose then bard)—No ‘ And Mr, Jarr did, He went to| dream. All men seem to think that| lobster, and. the mayenwen, canned Gus'a and informed Mr. Rangle and|all women have that for lunch every|made from very geaq unalse | isn't Rafferty, the builder, whom hej time they Ko ov willing to take a chance. B (sympathetically) Ik Yon, Indes found there, that he hoped Willard|y,™ (sympathetically) know| Mra, B—Yen, indeed. Waitress. dessert? Mrs. A (tndignantiy)—Of ec will, Till take a iittle chocolate ang strawberry ice cream, mixed. Mrs, B (smiling h 4M. mine pistache and Taspberny ian ne would be In good voice and Moran . naturally tired Will you ladies have any would not sing off the key when they | day's shopping, and I met in fistic grand opera a few weeks|at the dinner table hence, “For,” Mr. Jarr added, “I am|imuch to say, George says, Very sar- going to try hard to raise twentysfive| castically: “I don't wonder you feel Ducks to be among those present!" punk, If 1 ate lobster salad and ice trom a long n kind of tired nd don't have