The evening world. Newspaper, January 24, 1916, Page 12

Ah! a ‘ABLIGHDD BY JOSEPH PULITZER. ‘Published Daily Broept Oapeay by Po Re Fydlicniog Company, Nos. $3 to sont PULA SoBe STE how Becond-Class Matter. r., Becretary, York ¥ othe Hivening, For England and the Continent and t tos All Countries in the International _, a (World for the United States “os ~~ i; VOLUME 56... THE TOTAL THAT TELLS. RANGLES over what may or may not go into an expense account which somebody else settles were common under the Pharaohs, In ordinary business the employer who has to foot the expense Dill sums up results as well and deals with the spender accordingly. Spending taxpayers’ money is different, Those who “guard” the treasury are only employees themselves. Piling up a maximum of incidental charges for a minimum of public work is easy. The habit isancient. Precedent has almost made it honorable. e That members of the Thompson Legislative Committee have been no more careful than members of other committecs in letting theatre tickets, restaurant checks and taxicab charges roll into free and easy totals for the State to pay proves no more than that the sys- tem of checking sucli expenditures is lax and needs overhauling. The custom of pro-rating expense bills encourages extravagance. unjust to individuals. It ought to be abolished. Rightly used, the Thompson Committee bills can be of the great- est help in correcting slovenly methods of State auditing that make such dribbling waste of public money possible. The Thompson Committee expense account is one thing. The Thompson Committee’s record of solid, substantial work is another. The public, like any other employer, chooses to give each its proper _ Weight. hs t } important tasks ever performed for the people of the State. 5 It has turned inside out a Public Service Commission which the * public service corporations had converted into a snug pocket of pro- _ tection for themselves, In spite of difficulties and discouragemente last spring, it re- t Williams resigned, until Wood was exposed. defined its members as “men owing no allegiance to any special in- terest, unembarrassed by either financial or political obligation, who will devote themselves with a single purpose to the protection of the rights of the people.” y There is more the Thompson Committee can do. It can help » ovat the corporations from ante-rooms of the Public Service Commis. gion where the public has had only the right to sit and wait. The t Fommittee has proved that it can produce results—big results. It ’ should have every chance to go on. a it has Jone so far means millions of dollars saved to the © public in the securing of just treatment and square deals from public _ utility companie Whether supported by corpor + Vagislature, by Tammany vengeance or by all three, an attempt to Thoke the Thompson Committee into inaction with a handful of hotel _j bills will be viewed by the people of New York with the anger and . suspicion it deserve: —_———-4 MEDDLING WITH MAIL DELIVERIES. PLAN now under consideration at Washington to cut down the number of mail deliveries in the business districts of this city calls forth strong protest from the New York Board » pt Trade and Transportation. * . Ten and one-half per cent. of the total revenues of, tho Past ‘Office Department from the entire country for the year 1914, it is . pointed out, came from the New York Post Office, The revenues of © this one office for that year totalled $29,488,518.02, while. its expenses _ emounted to $10,686,996.28. During the twelve months in question, » therefore, the New York Post Office turned in a net’ profit of 816,801,521.74 to the United States Government. It is obviously wnf.ir that business in this city should suffer from any skimping of fta mail service, by Furthermore, fewer deliveries mean a greater accumulation ~ ‘mail and necessitate the employment of more carriers to deliver (Where is the saving? Before Assistant Postmaster General Roper and the House of ‘Representatives Committee on Post Offices devote any more time to & scheme to curtail New York’s posjal facilities they should hear what merchants, manufacturers and business houses in other sections : of it. It is} | This commitice has toiled long and hard at one of the most! turned to the job and stuck to it until McCall was removed, until By its work it las opened to the State the way to a new Public t Service Commission of the sort Gov. Hughes had in mind when he tion influence, by hostility in the) E { | | | | The Office Force By Bide Y the way,” said Popple, the shipping clerk, as he hung up “B his coat, “I just realized to- day that this is Leap Year, We handsome young men will have to look out or the girls will capture us, ° Miss Primm, private secretary to the bom, frowned. “Oh, that's all bosh,” she sald, “Girls don’t have to Propows .o men, The men are glad enough to pop the question, “How do you know?” asked Bobbie, the office boy, in an insinuating tone, “I presume you mean to infer that Lhave never had & proposal!” snapped Miss Primm, ‘Well, that's all you know about it,” “My aunt,” said Bobbie, “wus mar- ried three times, All her husbands died and she had 'em cremated. I told her she had husbands to burn and it made her mad, “Oh, piffle!” said Popple, “That was an old joke when I was a boy. My father told it to me. He was a dancing teacher; taught all the old- time steps,” step-father, eh?" came from the blond stenographer, “No—iny own father,” Pay no attention to her, Mr. Pop- said Miss Primm. "Mias Tillie fo“cnother one of our would-be funny * have to say about a change that would delay their day to day dealings with customers, sources of supply and shipping agents in this city. Any Post Office economy that hampers business in New York Hampers business throughout the country, Hits From Sharp Wits Probably in every community there] Sometimes it is hard to are those who fear the grand jury jeven what we want to Ralleee ee may overwork itself. | 8 Hor husband may not be tri with fur, but, no doubt, he rece trimmed just the same. oon News. To some men the ideal mince pie te one that would have to be bootlegged in dry territory.-Toledo Blade. Dollars and Sense r * HOUBE ORGAN Issued by a By H. J. Barrett all things, Not to give overweight or underweight. Not to handle stock i concern which through a sales force of over 800 sells a spe- carelessly, Not to forget to ma proper records of cash sales, goods wold on credit, money paid on account ‘4nd money paid out. Show them how to properly wrap parce! stock without waste. Show your clerks the value of sug- ®evting goods to customers, ~ Show the o how to arrange goods on shelves, counters and tables wo they will make the best display. Give each clerk @ certain section of the store to trim and make him re. sponsible for the way goods are dis. played and kept. Many times your business is judged by the conduct of your clerks, Show them how their actions outside of as well as in the store affect your business, their positions and futures. Many a good clerk has been ruined by getting into bad company and de- and handle isty more customers, make fewer m: takes and belp increase trade and profi tas t \ The best way to train clerks is to r hold @ school, Make your meetings informa( vite clerks to eiicie anything per- to the business, Get them to suggestions. your clerks to be careful of appearances, Clean faces, clean “hands and fingernails, clean ae i o ss'se well kept hair, linen and shoes are more im- than good clothes, to your clerks about manners, 7 the vel of politeness. impress on them that courteous, pos lite clerks attract trade. Se aes ae friends, She and Bolte ought to put on an act in vaudeville called ‘Ancient Mumor for the benefit of the old people.” ould you come and see asked Bobbi: “Pardon me!” said Spooner, por, “Let's be pleasant, anybody here seen the ne ‘A Woman of the Plains’ Its ‘A Plain Woma Miss Primm, * it isn’t,” said the blonde, “I say it is,” anapped the private secretary. “Do I make myself plain?” ‘Weil, somebody does,” said Tillie, ‘Now, said Spooner, gently. “Let's change the subject, I'm mo o-day. As I left home the trans. n were carrying out a couple my paintings.” “Moving pictures, eh?" was Bob- us?” the Has play called replied Miss Primm. "You seize upon every old joke you hear, You're like a} © was & crackel Was the blonde's “Pine, comment. “I wish I could,” said Popple, “I'm Boing to suggest that hereafter we discuss subjects of an educational na- ture. How about ancient history?” “Old stuff!” said Bobbie. Miss Primm was furious, “Look here, young man!” she said. “If you don't stop insulting us with your old Bobbie cheap, alleged humor I'll tell Mr, Snooks. He bates an old joke like ison."” “S-h-h!" came from Poppie. ‘The bows entered the room a mo- ment later and began to remove his fur overcoat. “How are you, folks!" he said, veloping babits his salary could afford, id ” Show your clerks how to wait on customers. Tell them how customers Merchants offer prizes t lost by inattention. Accommo-|clerks for the highest total of sales \, Gitiee clerks mean much to the suc-jand the greatest number of custom. any business. ers waited upon. This makes cli your clerks to be careful to 2 “ne more attentive and ambitious, “Peach Py A hy aay “Just had some fun with a crabbed old friend of mine. He hates good xtra! c 4 . 1018, by The Prim Publishing Co, (The New York Krentog Workt), Tt Dudley —— all fagged out,’ I repliéd. at do you mean?’ asked he. “Why, it’s tired,’ T said. The boss indulged in a hearty laugh in which hb was joined by Mins, Primm. “ile was mad at me for! springing it and it was entirely orig- rie. 1916, Ths met m ets renin Wortd,) ®t M By J. H. Cassel The Jarr Family — By Roy L. McCardell — Copyright, 1916, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Frening World). R, AND MRS. JARR were pay- ing a cail on some suburban friends last Sunday afternoon, a sweet place you have aid Mrs, Jarr, her t “How do you lots, covered with snow and mort- Bages. ‘ow, isn't t pth chat-'tered the host heat “What at tough luck!" mut- The gin’s all gone, your | #0 we can't have a Martini inal,” said Mr. Snooks as he di; Ph eke ; Mr. Snooks as he dis- There’ appeared in his private office. lene eta ‘Where's the “Mr. Snooks is so funny,” said Miss said the b 4 whis ey, Mary? Primm when the bos2" door had! me make you a cocktail, old] “The girl had a toothache last night closed, an," ‘said the host, affably. “Youland I gave her the last ot it,” said ; “Ahem! ys 2 from Bobbie, “He]know the property is so restricted |the hostess, hates an old joke like polson.” 2 7 loons,| “Oh, it doesn't matter; i Miss Primm. awung around in her|2round here that we have no saloons, sn't matter; I. really chair facing the boy and just glared and glared, Copyright, 191 H eth by accident. no stores, no nothing Sayings of Mrs. Solomon By Helen Rowland. by The Vrms Publiebing OW doth a man marry, oh, my daughter? Behold, he marryeth blindly! go into matrimony, could he SEK whither he was going. rey didn’t want a drink, lying in his teeth, “We'll have a smoke anyway,” said the host. “Have you any cigars with you? I'm all out,” “Sure,” said Mr. Jart, digging down into his pocket for his special pet ex- pensive cigars that he gave out only |to those whom he loved dearly and {then not over one at a time. “You ought to buy out here,” said For, verily, verily, no man weuld! the host enthusiastically, “Land val- He marry-| ues double here every five years. and when we get the new car line they'll double again.” sald Mr. Jarr, “So I see," said Mrs, Jarr, looking Yo, (The New York Fvening World), out over the dreary expanse of vacant The Stories Of Stories Plots of Immortal Fiction Masterpieces By Albert Payson Terhune Copyright, 1916, by The Prem Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World), MR. THOMPSON’S PRODIGAL. By Bret Harte. LD MAN THOMPSON'S search for his son was the joke of all Sam Francisco. Thompson had been a domestic tyrant. He had bullied his broken-sptrited wife into her grave, and had scared his twelve-year-old son Charles into running away to sea. Fif- teen years later, rich, repentant and lonely, the old man had “gotten re- ‘ ligion,” and had at once set out to find his missing son, To San Francisco he drifted. Then he invested his wealth and built ‘a big house, But over he continued his hunt for Charles, One night, as he was plodding homeward through the fog, a footpad ‘faced him with levelled pistol. Thompson sprang at his assailant. They jgrappled, and presently the robber lay helpless with the powerful old i | man’s knee on his chest. The victor peered down through the fog into the | face of bis fallen foe. Then he asked: { Young man, what might be your name?” Thompson,” faltered the thief. “Charles Thompson,” ordered the father, “come with ‘me.” Just what passed between the two men during the next few hours no one ever knew. But next morning Thompson announced to the neighbors that his long-lost son had been restored to him. The returned Prodigal haved in a most exemplary way, He readily fell into the dull routine of the Old Man's daily life, conducting himself $ “ toward Thompson as a dutiful, affectionate son, wholly The Tramp's } Arrival. reforming, giving the father every reason to be proud of his new-found heir } amnoornrnonns And thus a year passed. On the anniversary of the © Prodigal's return, Old Man Thompson gave a party in his honor, In the midst of the festivities an unbidden guest slouched inte tho drawing room through the open veranda door. ‘The newcomer was a particularly ugly and disreputable tramp, Also, le was excessively drunk. He had been attracted by the bright lights he reeled past the Thompson home, and had wandered aimlessly in, Now. he stood blinking dazedly around him uutil he caught sight of Charies, Then with a whoop of joyful recognition he flung himself right lovingly upon the amazed Prodi Old Man Thompson strode through the group of excited guests, seized the tramp by the collar and started to throw him bodily out of the house, But the Prodigal cried out in quick anguish, beg- ging him not to. Who is this man?” roared Thompson; and choked whisper: “Your son!" The guests left in confusion. ad the Prodigal replied in a Day was breaking. The tramp lay eno’ ing on a sofa. Old Man Thompson, withered and ghastly, crouched facing the Prodigal. The latter was saying: “God knows, I did not set out to deceive. The name I gave that night ‘ Was the first that came into my thought—the name of one whom I thought was dead—a dissolute companion. And when you questioned further, 1 used the knowledge I had gained from bim to touch your heart, to set me free. Only, I swear, for that. But then I saw the opening of another life before me. Oh, sir, if L was hungry, homeless and reckless when I would have robbed you of your gold, | was heartsore, heipless and desperate when 1 would have robbed you of your love! I had no father I could claim, I never knew a home but this, I was tempted.” He paused. The Old Man did not speak. The tramp enored peacefully. The Prodigal went on, sadly: “Do not fear that I shall come between your son and hia inheritance. To-day I leave this place, never to return. ‘Thanks to your kindness, sir, . , L_now see the way by which an bonest livelihood is The Passing § Sained. Goodby, You will not take my hand? Well— of the Prodigal. § S°Uby- B Nah edd yall ao je was gone. Too late, the Old Man shook off the trance of horror and ren to the door to stop him Onis the noise of the waking city answered bis trembling call—the city that had forever swallowed up all trace of the Prodigal. Everyday Perplexities. By Andre Dupont pyright, 1916, br The Pruss Publishing Co, | Ten Social Don'ts. WENT to a dinner party ast night, The hostess was a very pretty woman and the host an affable man, The food was well chosen and well served. |The table was beautifully decorated (The New York Freing Warit), “Don't, if you are a man, drag out your would-be humorous ‘stories to such a length that your hearers feel like rising trom their seats and push- ing you along. Tell your yarn with @ snap and get quickly to the point. It is twice as funny that way. Don't ask to be helped twice Anything. If a second helpin, - with flowers and the ladies were dec- lforeq you, take fit won ane tS of orated with the smartest of frocks.|if you will not unne sssarily delay the other diners by doing #0, but But talk was extremely uninter- pa ip Brg a don't ask foi esting and so the affalr dragged. If ever | give a big dinner I should rd your conversation with slang. A little well chogen slang like to send out with the invitations |{s often amusing. It is like a dash a little list of ten “Don'ts” about the }Of pepper in the soup, but too much 4 |things that make for weariness and | Pepper spoils any dis). boredom in any social gathering. Of | » 1 can't to this, but tt would |do a great deai of good if I could, The first would be: Don't be late and keep other people waiting just because you w too lazy to get ready in time. Don't talk about your children oven ff you are a fond parent, Other peo- ple's children are not intensely inter- esting to you, and why should yours be to them? Don't, pray, don't (if you keep house and have trouble in doing so) talk about your servants and their sins of omission and commission, Don't interrupt, Give the other person time to finish what he is try- Ing to say befere you cran. your Views down his throat Don't forget that you never should use a knife or a spoon where a fork will suffice, Jellies, if served with meat, are eaten with a fork. Peas require a fork; and ice cream when frozen hard, is often served with a fork, And there is another “don't,” the eleventh, which comes after the din- ner party: Don't forget to call on your hostess within two weeks after the festivity, Mollie of the Movies — By Alma Woodward —— Copyright, 1916, ty The Pras Publishing Co, (The New York c ng World), Yea, ho falleth in love, even us ore that felloth off @ trolley car; he stumbleth into wedlock, as one that etumbleth tnte the waters of the ice-pond. As a somnambullet suddenly aroused from hts dream, so doth he awaken with SURPRISE to find h’mself a Marriei Men! WHY doth a man marry, oh, my daughter? Behold, he marryeth “just because!” Because he hath become entangled in a flirtation from which there is no escape. Because his family have selected a damse! of whom they approve— or because he hath met a damsel to whom they are opposed. Because, in a moment of wine-in-the-head, or of lonoliness, or of mental aberration, he hath proposed to the most interesting woman at hand. meee he yearneth for a New Thrill, and can think of nothing else under tHe sun which he hath not tried. Because it is Spring. WHEN doth a man marry, oh, my daughte: Behold, he marryeth when he LEAST expecteth to marry. He marry- eth, not when he is fn love, but when he is in the marrying mood, Not when he loseth ‘his heart, tut when he loseth his head, his equilibrium and his self-control, Not in a moment of inspiration, but in a moment of des- peration WHOM doth a nan marry, oh, ny daughter? Behold, he marryeth the woman who chanceth to be most CONVEN- IENT at the psychological moment, He marryeth the damsel who hap- peneth to WANT him, when he is feeling lonely. He marryeth, not the woman with whom he knoweth he could endure life, but the woman without whom lhe fancieth he cannot endure life, Not the woman who could make him happy forever, but the woman who can temporarily make him miserable. Not the woman who stimulateth him, but the woman who lulleth his fears to sleep; not the woman who giveth him inspiration, but the woman who giveth him an opiate. Not the woman who holdeth his heart, but the woman who hath his love- letters. Not the woman who hath bound tim to her soul, but @e woman who hath tied him to her shoe-strings And, behold, when he awakeneth, ery ing: “Marriage is a Failure!” jokes and I'm very fond of them. Woe were coming downtown in his auto when one of the wheels began to creak, He asked me what I thought ‘was Wrong with it, eimai. ee He blameth Fate! He blameth Matrimony! He blameth the Woman! But, under no cireumstances, and under no conditions, and by no chance, hath be ever thought to blame HIMSELI! Selah! ,the host. DON'T suppose persons are ever sctisfied with their walk In life. Nobody I have ever met but squeals about “If I had it to do over rain.” The hairdresser wished she'd gotten somebody to set her up in a swell dressmaking establishment; and the dressmaker is sorry sho wasn't a trained nurse, The doctor says he's a slave and would get more out of life if he'd a real estate agent; and the real estate agent says “Well, I wouldn't like to go to all the trouble of building,” said Mr. Jarr. “Buy a house already buil “You are foolish— with a family living in the ‘city. wouldn't part with my little home in the country for twice what I paid for it” “Where could I get a house already built?” asked Mr, Jarr, A great change came over the sub- been urban host; he laid his hand on Mr.| that out of six million people they Jarr’s knee and said: “I'll sell you| choose him to pick on; and he wishes this one! It's a bargain, I'll give it] he'd been an undertaker, because to you for five hundred less than Ij that's the only kind of real estate paid for it.” ‘We'll see about it," said Mr, evasively. “You're going to stay to dinner, of course?” remarked the hostess to Mrs. Jarr in a tone that meant “I hope you're not!" “Oh, no; we couldn't do that,” said that pays. Going down in the car, in the morn- ing, I see the trig, tailored girls go- tug to business—-maybe only stenog- raphers—but they've got their fingers on the pulse of business affairs ju the same, And I used to envy them so-—-but nevermore! Jarr ment” Then she added: “There's eat 2 a been a terrible lot of divorces out here, has there not?” Mrs, Jarr. “Oh, come, come!” said the host.| “Ob, yes." said the lady of the house. “They are all right now ex- cept for heavy colds, but they did have scarlet fever and chicken por. I wonder how you can raise children in those overheated city flats, What! Must you really go’ ‘We mustn't talk scandal, you know! Besides, it injures real estate values!" Scandal would have been about all that would have interested Mrs. Jarr, as she patted her hands, which were blue with cold, and asked if she could have a drink of water, ow, don’t be in a hurry,” ex- ‘The hostess left the room and was| claimed the host. “Here's a time gone quite a while. Finally she re-| table. If you run you can catch the trolley and that will make the 6.21 If you miss that there's no train til 8,67."" On the way back to town Mrs. Jarr said give her New York or give her death! turned with a glass and said: “You mustn't mind the taste, Mrs. Jar the pipes froze last week and we’ had to melt snow. I do hope we can get a plumber soon.” “The children keep healthy?” avhed floor of the Exchange where 1, as the stunner, rush up onto the platform, knock the chalk out of the hand of the guy who's writing quotations on the board and turn the mob on its ear, he director said: “We gotta make this scene a knockout, because it's the blegest thing in the picture, Any ‘extras* we'd get for the bunch of speculators, weuld act like a free-for-all on Ninth Avenue on Saturday night, ine stead of collar-and-cuff stuff on Wall Street. I'm going to make a stab at ting the real thing. We can piece film for your stunt on the plate form and when it comes to carrying off on their shoulders—well, L 8 a bunch of brokers wouldn't so hard at carrying a swell ike you, Mollie, We want vealism when we can get it,” So they pulled it off. I watched the beginning from the gallery and it made me dlazy. Gi when we Were taking the big battle scene from “Bunker Hill Betty” there wasn't as much noise. But SOME boys to look at! Claas, to the cigarette case, Dis~ nction, to the dip! I be; forward to my scene. bb Pitis Then It came, ‘ow, boys," shouted the e through a megaphone, ‘Nero's your chance to show what flossy movi: picture actors you'd make, Don't you want to receive mash notes from moviettes by the ton? Don't you want to be voted just the handsomest creature in the Ladies’ Hearthstone | Happiness popularity contest? If so, lo your durndest, Put jacane. They're oft! | PoP into this | Well, ail T have to say is that a gang of bloodthirsty strikers trying to Kill a squad of strikebreakers: would resemble the Bryan-Ford Peace Commission (starting out) by comparison, T never thought a busic ness'man could be so rough. Why, when they got through with me I looked like I'd been having tea with @ buneh of shrapnel! So I've lost my taste for a business career, Me for the movies, forever, 4 A,