The evening world. Newspaper, January 3, 1916, Page 18

ome, Mit erLos cei WHAT STATE CAPITAL 18 THIS? Arrange Rogethee, the indicated | fractions of the words the pictures ithe Gapial sity ek city. mathe city in taet Thured was DOVER, Ca) of third ef’ *bed™ Die ” 0; one-fourth 4 of “miner,” name of to-day’ nether ‘sa A be printed What He Wanted. 6 HAT man wants bis photo- graph to look as natural as possible,” whispered the as- @istant to the proprietor of the studio, “Then make it as handsome as you ly. fully ugly, and t to flatter him at all.’ “He won't think it flatters pol galery knowingly. sure that at last some on to catch him looking FACT A re advice “Stop, look and listen,” sometimes should be reversed to “Hiaten, look and STOP.” LIFE LYRICS. | His heart on January First wae rive | with high resolve. Said he: “The faults | deem my worst by quitting I'l! absolve!” But Old Grim Fate looked down on him from somewhere in the skies And guffawed loud with hearty vim till tears came to his eyes, Then spoke th and asked, “Why all this mirth? Is it @ joke when men repent, down there upen the earth?” Whereat Grim Fate wiped both his eyes and said “You've rung the bell! You're merely hopeful! am wise; | know this fellow well. vows. And worked the same old New Year's bluff for curtain calls and bows, year before that too— For everybody plays that game when every year is new. it's a joke sublime When all th humans down on earth swear off at New Year's time. 1 know | merely have to wait a week —a month at most To see their earnestness abate—to see their will a ghost. And one by one the things they st ‘swore they'd never do again, 1 see them doing ae of yore with all Home and ;| “*S*MATTER, POP?” By Hazen Conklin Coveright, 1916, by the Press Publishing Oo, (The New York Evening World), | much a question of who shall be the “star player” aa which shall be “um- pire.” { vice” not governed by a “bureau of accuracy and fair play.” no farther back than the wrist, | bombshell exploded under him by the mortar of necessity. (Continued) Sewwz22B . OH Geewi22! a urReess FROM FoRD an’ HE SAYS — “[ APPOINT YOU “To BE SECRETARY HO MY QHIEF ADVISOR , SAID ADVISOR, WILL BE APPOINTED IN MY NEXT mMessaee’ SIR! Yessir! FICTI MIXED PICKLES. In the marriage game it isn’t so! Gossip is @ neighborhood “news ser- | Many a hearty handshake extends | | Many a man owes his rise to a| PEOPLE WE MEET. | U. R. Right, Betty Did. | Nora Sponse. | (To be continued) | BRAIN FOOD. | Light-weight minds are never in- | Comic Page {T 1S THAT of THE EVENING WORLD, Monday. January 3, 1916 we “ we we . @& we Bi PPrre Hh I SHALL AT ONCE PROCEED To SHOW THIS TO AXEL AND Kote «TS EFFECT ON iM! HIS GoaT'LL LET OUT ONE. LONG WAIL OF AGONY An’ @RoAK!t Were Other raw We. Pree LIKE TH ‘FLooD’! you've READ ABOUT TH FLOOD-AN HOW TH ARK LANDED MOUNT ARARAT AIN’ vat! ListeN To MINE FiesT! b—— YUN VIRELESS FRom FORD NOT SAYS — we we cs “ay VISH You TH B& MY CHIEF ADVISOR + AY HAVE. APPOINTED hy * Qopyne. 1918, Prom Publishing Ca (MY Ghening Wort! WHY War Ignorance. | EN, CARROLL DEVOL, at a din-| ner in Washington, was drawn into @ war argument by & young lady. The young tady, having conquered | the general, as she thought, paused | and smiled triumphantly; but he, with | smile of a different kind, sald: “My young friend, It 1s hard to ar gue with you, because your ignorance of war 1s very complete. It is plain, from your remarks, that you don't know the difference between a howit- zer and a mortar, and I.believe you think that shrapnel, grape and canis- ter could all be shot indiscriminately out of a shotgun. fact, you remind me of old Cal- day, I see by the papers, Cal, that the enemy has beon driven back.’ “Driven back?” old Cal’ grunted, ‘Driven back.’ Dri ‘oe made ‘em Why the Delay. A GENTLEMAN farmer tolls of a city lad who once worked for him. ‘The lad was called one winter morn- I AINT SEEN A ‘NEWSPAPER FoR THREE Days # | you must i *| be moving on, god of Good Intent, | coat of experience, vited to etep into the ring with| heavy-weight responsibilities, Conclusions are the buttons on the | The last laugh sometimes is a bit ing before dawn and told to harness the mule to the Dearborn. ‘Phe lad was too lazy to light a lan- tern, and tn the dark he didn’t notice that one of the cows Was in the stable} with the mule. The farmer, impatient Last year he pulled the same old | stuff and made the same old | The year before he did the same; the | And | am always meved to mirth, for | ter one BRIGHT THINGS THAT EVERY BABY SAYS. Da-da! Ah-goooo! Glub! Us! WHY I8 IT? That every time the telephone rings after we have gone to bed it's | some one calling the wrong number? | AFTER-THOUGHTS, Those of us who banked the fires of our energy over the holidays will now find it bard to get steam up again, Wonder how many of those who wished us a “Happy New Yeur" really meant it? Now we'll all begin to save money maybe! P. 8. Don't forget to put the Xmas THIS IS THE COVER Of a Fourteen Page Book Describing the Thrilling Adventures of a “Rag Doll” Who, Sep- arated From Her Toyland Lover, Found Him Again After Facing Many Perils. This Is a Story for Boys as Well as for Girls, MAKE A BOOK OF THE PAGES WHICH WILL BE PRINTED THREE DAYS EACH WEEK IN THE EVENING WORLD it the long delay, shouted from the | house: “Billy! Billy! What are you doin “T can't get the collar over mule's head,” yelled back the boy |“His ears’ are frozen."—Collters | Weekly. sala Selec | oasis | As Judge Saw Them. | NE dsy while walking with O friend in San Francisco @ pro- | fessor and his companion be- | came involved in an argument as to which was the handsomer man of the two. Not being able to arrive at a set- | tlement of the question, they agreed, in a spirit of fun, to leave it to the decision of a Chinaman who was seen approaching them, The matter being laid before him, the Oriental consid- | ered long and carefully; then he an- nounced in @ tone of finality, “Both are worse,”-—-Chicago News, a Ll The Only One. PARTY of New Yorkers recent- A ly came back from a fishing By C. M. Payne . TTT) TMs Desjardins? ‘No.’ The guide seemed mystified, but questioned no further. It should be remembered that in French-Canadian villages there is oe hotel, and that 1s the headquarters of the community life. On the last night of the trip the guide came to us after supper. You know Adolphe ‘You not Adolphe, Desjardins? ‘No.’ ‘Mon 5 val ee is the cook ‘ladelpnia Bla. On the Spot. YOUNGSTER went into a mer- chant's busy office and not get- ting immediate attention ap- Proacbed the boss and said: “Exouse it I want a job and I'm in “You do, eb,” said the mer- “And why are you in s a “Got to hurry,” re) hurry?” youngster. “Left school yesterday and haven't struck anything yet. me waste time, and if you ray i i The onl, stop long is where they “A ere J “When can you come?” asked the prised boss. “Don't have to come,” was the quick reply. “I'm z and would have been to work this i¢ you'd sald 80."—Boston Tyan- script. , Appreciating a Philosopher. HACKERAY'S discomforts, dur- ‘ng his stay in the United States, on which*he dwells t# his letters to Mrs, B8Ookfield, were allley- jated by somé amusing incidents, After his return he told Car! on one of his Journ yeaa stopped at Concord, Thackeray, “one of t! Yankees opposite me sa: |, ‘Mr. Emer- son, I hear, lives in this ‘awa $,' was the drawling ge. ‘and I understand that, in jueer notions, be {9 @ man t ‘Loséon ———— Highly Educated. HE new budget made economy necessary In some direction, and at length the’mnot long wedded pair decided that #he garrulous char- lady must be the victim of alroum. stances. Still they were tender-heart- ed, naturally, and broached the aub- ject, gently, They were relieved at “Oh, bo, mui u trouble," exclaimed By eed trip in the Province of Quebec, nad wh was delicately asked if she vould dint another place, “Missuses there's children won't have 3 spoken women about, teachin’ ‘em to Tl speak wrong. With ta jobs easy, my education I iN*axiverpool ‘Boat’ ***=maR