The evening world. Newspaper, December 28, 1915, Page 14

} | Home and Comic Page ——_—_____.nwseeee;s| *?S MATTER, POP?” Picture Puzzles ; Coomans UA, y,aytame uasse OS WHAT CAPITAL CITY 18 THIS? ONE THIRD OF fe) wee — || ONE HALF Arrange together fractions of the indicated words the pictures | Fepresent until the letters spell the fame of the capital city. rhe ety in reat renee ari wee capital of jaine. Fwo-fifths of “auger,” AU; two: Irde of “gun,” GU; o two-fifths of able,” TA. jhe Wn 7 Aang Makes Cold Storage Wail. 6ECRAY boss, 1 worked off some of that cold. storage butter to- day,” said the new clerk, with air of one who expected a’ com- iment. ‘Indeed! Well, that's good! Who @rew the prize?” said the pleased r, for it was, getting to be a Eircult thing to ad “Why I sent it to Mre. Hash, egound on Board Btreet.” "Oh, thundering guns!" exclaimed grocer, his tone changed and his drawn ina pucker. “Why, you idiot, I board at that woman's “—Lippincott's. of wan FOR CHRISTMUSS, SEEGARS, Bit. THESE \ 1S Dandies! THE FELLERS AT YOUR OFFICE MusTA KNowEep YR TH wan THOSE TWO MEN PROP ASHES ROUND YouR FLAT- ONE RESOLUTION FR (GI 1S NO MORE SMoicin' “RIGT Ta A DOG FIGHT ! Gee-Tve GOTTA GET RID oF \T Sometiow! AW! x Ger IT! THE EVENING WORLD, we dle's SMorin one uv THA CENT CIGARS we Gor HIM FOR +15 CHRISTMAS MR wit LOUDER. Do ALL OH! DOWN It *FIFL” HAS Gone AN RUINED j — DVOGOHOS ‘ AN By Hazen Conklin 006m) . Copyright, 1015, by the Press Publishing Co, (The New York Prening World) © Your Xmae Xohanging Early! LIFE LYRICS, ad a Bhe’s quite a shark at auction bridge id knows the game by rote; Bhe's learned by heart the arguments why women ought to vote; leave her rivals sad for dancing, ehe's the one whe firet began the fad! And to grow up Because she's not had time to learn the way to raise her child! IFS, If every one was paid all they be- thelr wervices are worth there ‘Wouldn't be money enough In the world to meet the payroll, It every one always told us the truth sometimes we'd be mighty un- comfortable, If you and I were known to possess wnfailing memory we'd have to give up our jobs in order to mail all the fetters that would be entrusted to us, LETTERS WE'D LIKE TO WRITE. Dear Sir: I note with surprise that Johnny Jones, who has applied to you for a job as office boy, claims to have worked in my office aly z.onths. Buch is not the case. He was merely employed b7 me. There is much I can say in the wvy's favor, There can be no dull mhonotony where he is on the pay roll. He will prove a constant source of wonder and surprise. He never will have the same excuse for being late, nor the same reason for making mis- takes, He invariably will do the un- expected—never that which is ox- pected of him. He is of a@ retiring disposition, al- Ways retiring beyond cal! or view when there »# @ grospect of work t be dont, He is fairly democratic and will treat you with all the respect due an inferior, He if accomplished, be- ing able to whistle a repertoire of ail the latest popular melodies, with er without variations, passing from| Me tune to another without pause. ‘Bo van ue oD always to OSOOUOK ite adept at giving teas that| did. Very truly yours, Bhe has a little daughter who is left) momber eludes our thought processes id— That our children say and do all! those bright things only whon there's | |no company to exhibit thelr precocity to? FOLKS WE MEET, (Continued.) Howe I Wish, Mary Christmas, Bill Rendered (To be continued.) LIFE LYRICS. : CcCTIoO keep telephone clients in their place ‘by replying to them curtly, and will dnvariably ald you in knowing their names before you talk to them by giving you any name except the one ¢iven him for transmission. mothers, although nine of them de- ceased while he was in my employ, their death being due to over-excite- ment prior to the outcome of games which the home team was about to play on the home ball grounds. Hig mental activity is so great that he can forget more things than most Doys can remember, Of cleanly hab- ite, he so abhors dust and dirt that he will let it accumulate in the office rather than come in contact with it for the purpose of removing it. IT might have discovered other traits but my patience gave out before his WHY 18 IT ‘That the name we're trying to ro- only to pop into our minds, hours Hater, when we're not thinking about it at all? That every time we come across a word now to our vocabulary, !t con- fronts us at unexpected turns there- after with astonishing frequency? — | Hie job is good, he earns good pay: | of sense he hasn't any; He frivols every cont away and never saves a penny, A day of reckoning will come—on | one of life's “to-morrows:" He has a wife and child at home— they live on what he BORROW! WHY, HONEY | DIDN'T KNow YOU COULD COOK é ~. “ MR. NEWLYMARRIED WOULD DELIGHT IN WIFIES BISCUITS IF HE WASN'T FORCED TO EAT THEM, Tuesday; December 28; 1915 COIR, ONS Prem Punmaing Co. Ot. T. Sreatas Wee) 1am wie Alartso Have Te HIS By Thornton Fisher By C. M. Payne TWonper IP TH 1S ANYTHING dat here MAN Wounrdn'T Do To ASB THaM ere Youne SHOCT ME A COUPLE MORE , PA-THISN (5 WELL NEVER MIND Dear —r'Lt GET You ANGTHER SvET uke | His Method. HE editor 6f a newspaper pub- lished in Central Pennsylvania | tells of articles that he fre. | |quently receives from a certain citl- | |zen, They are always pertinent and worthy of publication, but they are punctuated in @ most peculiar way. Mecting his correspondent one jevening at @ friend’s house, the edi- jtor said: “That was an excellent let- | jter I got from you this morning and 'T am going to print it Saturday, But ell me, what rule do you follow for | punctuation?” “Why,” said the man, “the same rule that I learned when I was a boy. I put a semicolon every twelve words | and two commas between each pair) of semicolons.”—Youth's Companion, Dark Threats. | 66. JIGGHR,” warned one, “don't mess with me, ‘cause when, you do you sure is fllrtin’ wid (80 he pro- ‘Head up, chest a’ hearse.” “Don't peaticate wid me, nigger,” ‘replied the other, shaking his fist, “don't fo'ce me t’ press dis upon yo", ‘cause if 1 does I'll hit yo’ so ha'd I'll separate yo' ideas from yo' habits; Vill Jos knock yo’ fum amazin’ grace to a floatin’ opportunity.” “It you mess wid me, migger,” oon- tinued the other, "I'll jes make one pass an’ dere'll be a man pattin’ yo’ In de face wid a spade to-morrow mornin’,"——National Monthly, ——————— Democratic Army. | B. GRESHAM, the British H consul of Cleveland, said the * other day: “In the British volunteer army a democratic spirit prevails, Yeu, this spirit prevails among the most @riatocratia regiments, “Tt ie ald that @ company of the sportsmen's regiment waa being drill- 4 In New Forest. The sergeant, an elderly stableman, said to one of tho! young recruits, who happened to be. the brother of an earl: “‘Hoad up, Monta! nounced the name), out, shoulders back!" “'My name tan't Montaig—t's Monta-gue,’ said the young man, “Very f00d, Monta-gue,’ sald the sergeant, ‘For speaking up like that you oan just do four days’ fa-tigue,’”’ —Cleveland Leader, Wanted a Bigger Welcome. HEY tell @ story about a Fifth I Avenue food king who, bluster- ing into the houi in the morning, growled: “Holo! Where's all tho servants?” “It you please, sir,” the butler an- nounced respectfully, “when it came 8 colook J thought you were apendins it 4 o'clock D HOTS) > THE DAY’S GOOD STORIES : (he night out and ventured to send most of the footmen off to bed, str.” H growled the food king. ‘em off to bed, eh? noe! Suppose I'd friend home—then © been you seven to m Everybody's Mag- —— Another Matter. OMMY was writing a long letter | to his father at the front when a Visitor was room by his aunt, In his haste to clear the table, Tommy upset the ink all over the brand-new plush tablecloth. Immedi- ately he began to sob. “Cheer up!" sald the visitor kindly, “Remember, it's no use crying over spilt milk," But Tommy replied amid his sobs: “Course it ain't, But when you spill milk you've got to call the cat, and she'll lick tt up for you. But this ain't milk, and mother will do the licking.”"—Pittsburgh Chroniole ‘Telegraph, Made a Difference. ITTLE Willie became slightly ine dispoved, and when the family doctor was called he-presoribed ome medicine in powder form, “Come, Willie," said the fond mother, preparing one of the powders 8 soon 48 the medicine arrived the drug store, “you must take this right away #o that you will be well.” “No, I don't want to take It,” whined Wille, backing away from the dose, “L don’t need no medicine,” 1 tos Ma the Jet us in!" azine. brought into the “Why, Willie," pleaded mather, gently drawing the boy toward “you never heard me complain abet @ little powder, did you? "No, an’ neithor would L” wage startling rejoinder of Pas could just put {ton my face do, but I have to swallow s—oPhite Adelphia Telograph. Hard to Fill, ‘“ ISTHR JHDGH," sata the ela M colored oftizen whe came into the justice's court Jead~ ing & small negro by the coat collar, "Mister Jodge, wish you'd please, sub, give this boy ten years whar de Htate’ll furnish de vittles for him” “What do you mean?” asked astonished justice, according te Pittsburgh Chronicle, "What has been doing?” “Harin’ me out or house en heme, was the reply, "wid. dat tite or his. Why, Jodge, de a) er de whale dat swallowed fer couldn't hol’ a candle to dat’ bey's eating arrangements. Fer de Lawd's sake, jedge, let de State feed him awhile so's de yuther chilun kim plolg up on ited" oracle