The evening world. Newspaper, August 30, 1915, Page 12

THE COLONEL ROARS ON. ME country may be enjoying the exhibition less than the Colonel,/out that does not interfere with his growing delight fie his “act.” The spectacle of an ox-Preaident stamping epennd and daring the present Administration to come out and settle #8 & Bet an inspiring one. Remember, however, it is « long time dings the Colonel got anybody to ge to the mat with him on any fobust pretext and even the bare chance is too good to be lost. Secretary Garrison has shown himself « cool hand, and the Ad is wot in the slightest danger of finding itself in an un-| geemly brew! Following Mr. Roosevelt's unpardonably {li-sdvised tteck upon the foreign policy of the Government while speaking in @ military camp conducted by army officers of this nation, the Becre- tary of War informed Major-General Wood that nothing of « similar Sature must occur again in that or any other camp. Gen, Wood Feplied, like « soldier, thet the order would be obeyed. Therefore, | as Becretary Garrison says, “The case is closed and the verdict must etand/” Tt wppears, however, that Mr. Roosevelt hae only begun, He Proposes to wrestle the Secretary of War over Mexioo, Hayti, hyphen- jem, gunnery and any allied problema, national or international, that may suggest themselves. ‘ The Colonel prides himself on his military experience. One thing it never taught him. If it had he would see that, #0 far as the Platteburg affair is concerned, there is nothing left but to salute and be silent, _ New York is tired of meeting treasure trains full of gold teketed for Wall Street. Let us know when General Pros | Derity is aboard. He'll go home with all of us, _ CAN IT LAST? | ‘ HE section of the Walsh commission report which asserts that : the wage earner is not getting a fair share of the wealth he ; produces ought to be popular just now in Bridgeport, where work and profit have struck such « lively pace that they quarrel from cheer high spirits. ' Munition workers in the Connecticut city have had « great sea- @on. ~All the work they could ask for, with extra high pay for over- % time, has given them the chance of their lives to make money. New “> planta are being built. Workers of all types are in domand, Bridge- ©» port ia enjoying the biggest boom in its history, a World investigator “© Feports, and strikes are merely part of the excitement. = Work hours have been shortened, wages increased, workmen travel ~ to their jobs in their own autos or in jitneys, and the union leaders al loudly declare that these happy conditions have come to otay and that _ the workingman will never yield a jot of them. ppose peace wins back the world. Suppose war orders , atop. Can the munition factories afford to 60 on paying top-notch \. wages? And if the workers will accept nothing less, what can the factories do but shut down? High wages, enduring or otherwise, become a habit hard to re-| nounce. Labor leaders tell the men to stick to their terms and stay | » idle rathor than take less and work. But when it comes to allotting the fruits of production what wealth does a closed plant produce for Anybody to share? ———__+4. Peaches are only twenty-five of lethons seems little affected. UNGUARDED AUTOS. A CITY like New York, whose streets are playgrounds for thou- | of children, an automobile left standing by the curb with only the touch of a lever needed to start it is a grave menace to public safety. Two children were killed last week by motor vehicles left un- guarded where youngsters could easily climb aboard and meddle with the controlling apparatus. The wonder is there have not been more accidents of this sort. Aldermen and Legislature should take notice ofthe danger. As Col. Cornell of the National Highways Protective Association points out: The motorman of a trolley car does not leave his Post with. out taking his controller, and the same should be true of the driver of any other machine which may be started merely by turning a switch. When it was necessary to crank a car to start it there was less tipk in leaving it. Up to date self-starting devices have added a new auto peril. Legislation must promptly take steps to minimize it. _—_—— Hits From Sharp Wits The same man who takes weeks to cents a peck, but the delivery —$_———. to ridicule another ith a sport » @onaider the purchase of a piece of | shiri.—Nashvi phar, © Peal estate about which he can quick- to wire Jy obtain all necessary information| yor of amil may hastily buy a hundred shares of _ @teck of a corporation of which he knows nothing, simply because some one tells him that the price is going Up--Albany Journal. & ‘There is nothing easier than grind- fag an axe if you can get somebod) te turn the grindstone,-Philadelphi) ‘Telegraph. are wasted during telephone conv: tions, Nearly always the: is one person in & street car who talks loud.—To- Bae blade » loud. —To. . ee The more you talk about you oudies the more you magnify them. . ee When « man say: is prepare Mice worst he usually gets It. ahi ville Banner. he eae Much that has been gained ts often atin peeching out for more.—-Albany urnal, . prays one way and ‘Is onother usually goes the way ne pulla—-Philadelphia Tolegraph. . The man who human nature for a@ fello i transparent Palm Beach eu: Seakes Lid . Vy Wo the matter of The Dresing World: of the same sort id in as large x I have lately asked no less than | Mra, Cutting, when Mr, J: By Roy L. RS, JARR bustied in, looking cool in, what Mr. Jarr would have described as a neat muslin dress, though doub*- jews it was something else again. Mr. Jarr did not look elther or eool, fer he wasn't, ‘Put on your collar and necktie and your coat quick!" eried Mrs. “the Cuttings are coming!" “The Cuttings are coming, heigho, heigho!" murmured Mr, Jarr, lense don't try to be funny,” said Mre. Jarr, “The Cuttings are people we should know, They are both Modernists and both are Intellectual) I mot them at the Stryvers. very rich and have no enil- | dren, and havea ).cht and motor care and a beautiful country place, and they may invite us, and we would have a grand time, You do not like intellectual people, but I do.” “There they are now, I suppose, and loud. “Their pushing at the belli has a cynical Modernist ring to tc They must expect to find nobody home.’ " But Mrs. Jarr did pot answer, She had @own to meet the Modernists, “Charmed to meet you,” drawled rv was in- troduced, “Why do you say you are charmed,” said Mr. Cutting, “do you think Mr, Jarr is of the snake species?" Mr, Cutting was one of those tall, hook-nosed men with very short, near-butier sidewhiskers. He wore @ stock and old-fashioned black cravat at all seasons, Also, to wit: A pair of the heaviest, largest tortoise shell eye-glasses with broad, neavy silk eye-gliass ribbon, He also wore cloth top gaiters, and was creased in all directions, and never removed his gloves, When you see 4h animal @o marked, aith low and shoot to kill, for it is the deadly sativiot, “A dreadful street you live on, my dear,” said Mrs. Cutting to Mrs. Jars, and glanced around her through a aingle glass lorgnette, Such a lorg- nette is the hall mark of the femalo satirist, There le po closed season for these, Shoot at any time. “Yes,” Mra. Cutting went on, “as |ot*the in England? If so, are they | (comparatively) quantities as rica? What kinds are there and 'y of them poisonous? This in- tion ought to be of interest, I four Englishmen: “Are there any! A™ in England?” and every one forma‘ ur men has thought think. Please understand, then said: “I don't the foregoing questions are Iam asking the question purely for information, CRS Rn CE oy ed answers a: jons of England. at humor, be we passed up the street bai pollo! stared at us 90." wouldn't be stared at,” remarked Mr, Cutting in @ harsh, dry voles. Mra Cutting, “I might retort that { inherit my personal appearance from The Jarr Family said Mr. Jarr, as the bell rang long) “If you didn’t look weird, you “As @ student of heredity,” replied eh aly, OOD Sosy Segoe a Wat ** ra) McCardell Copyright, 1915, by the Pres Publishing Co. (The New York Evening World.) my father. He was a rugged man, but an honest one.” Ae Mr. Cutting’s father had died in jail, while serving @ sentence for wholesale swindling, t wifely re- tort went home. But as a satirist Mr, Cutting did not falter, “I beg you not to lose your tem- Jarr, per, Penclope,” he remarked. “There's epilepsy in your family, you know.” “You shoyld have exhibited at the Bazaar. of Bad Taste, Roderick,'s aaid Mrs, Cutting, with acidulated em- “Simply maki a fow re- would have gained you all the Reflections “T The praise of a friend may be ment. one. stant man is to keep her promise to A Bachelor Girl By Helen Rov lind Ouprright, 1915, by the Prem Publishing Co, (The New York Brening World,) Canning Time. HE frost 1s on the punkin"—or so runs the poet's lay. It’s time for every girl to pack he: It's time for every thrifty wife to can the autumn frult— And time for every summer sport to can his breach-cloth suit! It’s time to can the peaches—and the parasol and fan, The panama and sport shirt (if you're that kind of a man)— To can your lighter sentiments and fluffy “con"versation; But can—oh, can you—CAN you can your summertime flirtation? Mr. Jarr Meets Two Whatever a And ao, for an hour or more, the married satirists satirized all over the place, fortunately occupying thelr | ~~ full powers of satirization on sach other. After they had gone, Mr. Jarr breathed a sigh of relief. “I was wrong;" he sald, “those dear people did not come here or do not 0 anywhere to sell anything. They only snarl thelr way through the vorld, giving each other away.” “And yet,” said Mrs. Jarr with a sigh, “those people have money and lelsure and everything to live for.” “I suppose so,” sald Mr. Jarr, “and We are poor and are hard worked and nothing to live for—except to speak kindly to each other.” And they did so for all the rest of the day. of “summer furs” away; Jealousy 1s the deadly torpedo that lurks in the sea of matrimony. It {8 almost as hard to induce a bachelor to talk about his flirtations as it is to make 8 married man keep quiet about his, The man who follows all @ girl's wishes hasn't a chance tn the world beside the man who is agile enough to anticipate just one of them. pur to ambition, but the sneer of an enemy {s the whip which drives may # man on to successful accomplish- ‘The reason why @ man is more inclined to vartety in his love affairs than @ woman ts because all men are alike, but all women are diff finds his variety in many, but s woman must find what variety she can in Sometimes the cruelest revenge that a woman can inflict on an incon- love him forever, you are distant, Keeps continually transplanting it In matters of sentiment most men are nearsighted. Oh, yes, dearte, “distance lends enchantment”—to the woman who happens to be near when ‘The heart is like a rose bush; no man can expect it to blossom if he “Modernists,” “Modernist” May Be | Such is the good Influence of a bad example. How to Make a Hit. By Alma Woodward. ome MU, Madr WN On a Friend's Motor Boat, | Buea he tells you the name of the boat (before you have seen {t) ask bim why he didn't give it a pretty name—iike Undine or Aphrodite—or something femininely marine. Tell him that you don't think “Prickly Heat” is # pretty name. He'll tell you that it's sporty aud humorous and just fits the blamed Uttle whizzer. And when you eee it, jat the dock, you tell hin. that he's |Tight, but that you'd have named it | "Smallpox" or “The Pip.” | Second—In the course of conversa- | ton it develops that it's a “used boat,” Some fellow was crazy about | It, but “business conditions forced him to dispose," etc, It mottled appear- | ance is thus accounted for. e'll eay he didn’t think it worth while to spend money on repainting THIS year, and the engine ts the most im- portant part ef the craft anyway. When he's gotten thig desiccated bro- mide off his chest, it's up to you to step in and murmur, ‘ell, show me!" That puts him on bis mettle, as it were, Third—Now it's time to start th gine. In his immaculate white yacht- | ing sult he bends from the waist and ie the flywheel @ saucy flip. You incline your ear for the answering snort, Silence prevails. When he has done this five or six times, red in the face, black in the white in the temper—and ail prevails, you must say mildly: thing seems to be the matter doesn't there?” Fourth—Presuming that during the day he does get her started and you plough into midauream, ask him, as @ great favor, whether he will let you steer. Indulgently he con- sents, You take the wheel, confident that you know your right band from your left, just as be begins firing strictly scientific terms at you (he's sta,ed up nights to master them), like this: “Port your helm!" “Star. board ‘er, you poor simp!” And you, anxious to comply, run into a ferry- boat. Fifth—As the afternoon progresses you can complain of the gasoline odor, saying you think the mixture must be too rich--this is a eafe remark— with it, aboard and tell him about any little interesting motor boat disasters of which you've read, Sixth—When at 7 o'clock you've when it's getting dark and when the stops. All methods knqwn to science avail, You look at the leaky tratler dangling at the end of a frayed rope and decide that rather than stay in midstream all night, @ target for anything from a mi to @ sub- marine, you'll risk it. The owner, es do all gallant oo: refuses ask him if he has life preservers! gone further than you expected to, | locality is ultra-strange, the engine! and other things are applied, to no| Cn TT EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK. By Marguerite Movers Marshall. HE recognition, both by public opinion and in such legis 66 | ation ae may be enacted, of the principle thet women j should receive the came compensation as men for the same service” i¢ one of the most eensible recommendations to be ,found in the published report of the United States Commission on Industrial Relations The pet argument put forward by the opponents of equal pay for equal work i# that “just as soon as @ woman becomes of any value to her employer ¢he marries and leaves him.” There are facts and figures that do not bear out this so frequently repeated state. jment. They have been gathered by the careful workers of the Bus. well Sage Foundation Through the study of women's trades in cities of the Uni | States with @ populetion of over 60,000 it has been found that 58 | per cent. of women teachers, 61 per cent. of women dresemakers, 40 per cent. of laundresses and 39 per cent. of saleswomen are between the ages of twenty-five and forty-four. These women obviously have worked for many years after emerging from the stage of untrained, inexperienced effort. Why |should they be paid as if they were economic transients? | Mrs. Alice Barrows Fernandes, formerly one of the investigut- |ors for the Russell Sage Foundation, sums up succinctly the case of the woman employee: “There aro just as many women working be- tween the ages of twenty-five and forty-four as there are between sixteen and twenty-five. So that woman’s prime in the working world is just the same as man’s prime, and this talk about women being economic inconstants is all bosh!” The Stories Of Stories; Plots of Immortal Fiction Masterpieces a ahaha * By Albert Payson Terhu Covrriaht, 1018, by the Prem Publishing Co, (The New York Hveniog World.) No. 45.—THE MIRACULOUS TURTLE. By Pierre Mille. HN FEATHERCOCK was doing remarkably well in his mission to Damascus, and Stefanos, his Greek rival, was doing corre- spondingly ill. Wherefore, Stefanos waxed vengefully angry, and John Feathercock was sleeker and more self-satisfied every day. Now, at Damasous, dwelt one Mohammed-s!-Koualdia, a Syrian whose j Teputation was none of the best. Clever was he, and reported by eome to ‘be @ magician. Yet be was a hasheesh-eater and altogether disreputable. The more respectable natives shunned him. John Feathercock had been mildly flattered when Mofammed-si- Koualdia scraped acquaintance with him. The Syrian’s queer stories amused him. The fellow’s simple faith in miracles made him laugh @loud. Thies laughter was annoying to Mohammed. One day, as he and Feath- ercock sat at lunch in the open air, the Syrian exclaimed: “By calling on the names of Allah and his Prophet, I myself can per- form miracles. Look! There is @ turtle at my feet. I shall make it grow larger and larger each day until it ts bigger than any house.” Feathercock chuckled disdainfully. Mohammed snatched up the turtle from the grass and set It on the table with a slice of melon in front of it. “O turtle,” he intoned, “eat of this melon, and then this night—by Allah’ Jeave—grow an inch larger. To-morrow and every day eat more and m: of the melons that thie Englishman ehall feed to you, and grow daily larger— eer, by Allah's leave—until you are as huge as the Great ; The Promise Mosque, I hall come back to-morrow,” he added to of a Miracle. Featheroock, “to measure tbe turtle.” ~ “It will be no larger than to-day,” ecoffed the Eng: lehman. But it was, Next day, by actual measurement, the turtle had grown whole inch. Feathercock marvelied. But he marvelled more and more as the days went on. The turtle had originally been the size of @ soap dish. Inch dy inch it grew daily, until in @ few weeks it wee larewr Mau « meat . i etill it grew. PO saener began to be scared. He decided it was the melon dict that made the turtle grow, @o he ordered his native servant, Hakem, to feed it No more melons but instead to give It herbs to eat. Mohammed-ai Kaualdia fous at this, we have broken the charm!” he declared. “Now, on herb diet—by Allah's leave—the turtle shall shrink each day until it vantahes.” And his bonst came true. Each day Hakem brought herbs to the turtle. Bach day the turtle was an inch emalier than the day before. At last it wae no bigger than a woman's watch. Then one morning it wae invisible. Now all thie magic had caused vast excitement throughout Damascus. Every one was talking about the Miraculous Turtle. And the tales did John Feathercock no good. People—especially in the East—have scant faith in the integrity of a man who dabbles in magic. Feathercock’s mission to Damas- cus suffered. By the time the turtle vanished that mission was an utter fizzle, and John Feathercock left the city—a failure. ‘The next day Mohammed-si-Koualdta, fortified by an extra dose of hasheesh, sat down and wrote this letter to Stefanos, Feathercock’s Greek | rival in Damascus: | “I beg to inform you that John Feathercock has departed. He will never barring return, Therefore, I pray you send me the second half For Value i of the sum you promised for getting rid of him, Send Received. 4 me also, I entreat, a generous gift for Hakem, hie ser- pemnnnrrnrnnrnony> \ vant, who daily carried a new turtle to the house of | John Feathercock and daily carried out the old one under his coat. = “I wish to state, furthermore, that I have for sale now, at low price, fifty- five fine turtles, grading in size from twenty Inches to one inch acrogs. I was at much trouble to collect them. (May Allah paint thy cheeks with the hue of health, O Stefanos, and may"peace abide in thy heart!" Wit, Wisdom and Philosophy TEMPER. By Lord Chesterfield. ‘T 1s a vulmar hotion and worthy Filia scnnern comes veo, late and ta y for themselves. If-love was I ot the vulgar, for it ta both false) thoy cnn aan’ ae, celrclove was | and absund, that hot tempered! oniy motive of repentance. people are the best natured people in| I know tt is sald in their behalf that the world, this impulse to wrath is constitu- “They are a little hasty, it ts true, | Uonally so sudden and so wrong that they cannot stifle it, even in its birth, |@ trifle will put them in @ fury; and) But experience shows us that this ale while they are in that fury they|legation is notoriously false, for wo neither know nor care what they say | daily Sarre THRE sae stormy per~ 8 both can and do stifle those or do. But, then, as soon as it 18) cists of passion when awed by re- over they are extremely sorry for ®0Y | spect, restrained by Interest, or in- | infury or mischief that they did.” timidated by fear. The most outrage. | ‘This panegyric on these choleric| U8 furioso does not give loose to his | “good-natured” people, when exam- anger in presence of his sovereign, nor the expectant heir in presence of ined and simplified, amounts in plain | the peevish dotard from whom he ex, common sense and English to this;| pects an inheritance, Tho tle that they are good-natured when! courtier, though perhaps under the they are not ill-natured, and that when, in thelr fits of rage, they have strongest provocations from unju delays broken promises onary | sald or done things that have brought ‘thom to the jail or the gall they swallows his unavailing wrath, dis. 8, are extremely sorry fo. Tt is in- guises it under smiles and quietly Waits for more favorable moments. Nor does the criminal fly in @ passion deed highly probable that they are; |t his Judge or his jury. | but where ts the reparation to those Our great Creator has given us whose reputations, Iimbs or lives they have either wounded or destroyed? SS passions. But at the same time hes mindly given Us reason sufficient to leave bis ship, eo you bid him a {fond farewell and reassure him as to bis family’s future welfare, if-—— etc, Then when you're pulling for shore with @ couple of oars that never | Were mates, call back (voices sound #0 pretty over the water, especially in Se Gare} “Bay, Boh sprinkle ‘gome taloum on at's good for Prickly Heati” ~ By, to control these passions. The an; man is @ self-tormentor, his breast knows no peace, while his raging peice a ined by no sense 8) @ or moral dutt ‘What would be his case if h. unter giving exainple, if I may us ich an expression, were followed by his all. merciful Maker, whose forgiveness he gan only hope for in proportion ag a forgives and loves his fel. 3 cael eit 4 wil